All language subtitles for Escape to the Chateau DIY S01E05.720p.CBC.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-BTN.English

This is me, Dick Strawbridge, my
wife Angel and our two children,

in our glorious French chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what
we've done.

It is so worth it.

We moved here three years ago to
follow our dream of living life

in our very own castle.

[laughter]

Oh my god.

Dick: But it's not been easy--

I think I'm a bit too old for
this.

--as dozens of other Brits
know only too well.

Tim Alexander: Oops.

Floor needs replacing as well.

[laughter]

Dick: Because it turns out,
we're not the only expats who

have bought a French chateau.

Woman: Wow, absolutely love it.

Michael Halpin: 25-year-old
Bordeaux.

Jonathan Cooke: Motherlode!

Dick: In this series, we'll
reveal how we're running out

Chateau as a business.

There's not a thing about making
sausages that I don't find

humorous.

I'm still finding things that I
haven't seen.

Dick: And see how these daring
Brits are running theirs.

Dick: Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa--this place is done up.

[chuckles]

Dick: As they face the ups--

Ashley Adams: It's really
beautiful.

This is a rare moment, but I am
genuinely at peace.

Dick: --and downs--

Philip Baillie-Smith: It's a lot
worse than it looks.

Dick:--of their new lives in
these crumbling and magnificent

buildings.

Michael Petherick: It is a bit
of a fantasy, living in a French

chateau.

We might have a few problems on
the way, but--

♪ ♪

--that's part of life, isn't it?

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

- Dick: Today.
- Jonathan: Stop it!

Get away.

Dick: It's fun and games at one
chateau, as it's prepared for

the arrival of its investors.

Jonathan: We need to get on top
of it.

Get on top of the goats.

Dick: Until the investors
actually arrive that is.

I was amazing at how anti people
were.

I wasn't expecting quite the
backlash.

Dick: It's a mad rush for one
couple setting up an anniversary

party at their chateau.

Loads of nails fell into that
sink.

Phil: Don't care!

Just exhausted really.

Dick: And a single mom struggles
to get her chateau ready for a

visit from the local mayor.

Fiona Jones: I'm rushing.

Thinking about Louie.

Gravity--stay.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: The beautiful Chateau de
Jalesnes.

It's managed by couple Michael
and Jonathan.

We were civilly partnered five
years ago, on a very joyful

occasion with all our family and
friends.

And everything was going
great--[laughs]--then we decided

to buy a chateau.

Dick: They bought it for
,£750,000 four years ago,

and with the help of investors,
have transformed it into

what it is today.

Jonathan: It was great--it was
fantastic--but then it all

started to unravel.

♪ ♪

We knew we were taking a risk,
but we didn't think it was gonna

be this big a risk.

♪ ♪

Dick: Located in the Pays de la
Loire, the chateau hasn't been

making money.

If they can't make it pay for
itself by the end of the summer,

they may have to quit.

Jonathan: This is our home, it's
all we've got.

Everything we have is now
invested in this, and we haven't

got a fall-back option.

Michael: All our eggs are in the
one basket.

Dick: And over the next few
days, these eggs could be under

threat.

Jonathan: The investors week is
coming up.

They can vote us out just as
easily as they voted us in.

Michael and I could lose our
jobs, it's as simple as that.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: So Michael and Jonathan
have a plan for the chateau's

banqueting hall that they hope
will please the investors.

We ordered some artwork,
and--[chuckles]--they delivered

it to the farm next door.

So the farmer's kindly said that
he'll bring it round here.

Dick: They're hoping this
artwork will make the chateau

more appealing to perspective
wedding clients, and in turn the

investors.

We had some feedback from brides
who visited the place saying it

looks a bit of a blank canvas,
it's hard for them to visualize

what it's gonna look like.

Oh, look--[laughs]--he's brought
it on a forklift truck.

- Oh my god--
- Oh no.

- --is it hitting the ground?
- Michael: Oh my.

How much did you say that's
worth?

Ten grand.

Dick: They're worth ten grand,
but thrifty Jonathan actually

got them for five.

It's crucial they aren't
damaged.

- Michael: Good on 'em.
- Jonathan: Only in France.

Jonathan: Fantastic.

Trying to get that through that
box.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: That's all right, he
can see it--he can see it.

♪ ♪

Superb.

Dick: Inside are twenty
reproduction of famous

French-themed paintings, most of
them by French artists.

[laughter]

I'm so excited.

I've never spent this much--can
you imagine going to the January

sales with ten grand in your
pocket, that's how excited I am.

I've never spent that much
money--never.

We bought a house once.

Yeah, but no, that's a paper
transaction, isn't it?

What are you doing?

How--hang on, you're ahead of me
again.

You gotta go this way, gotta go
this way.

Jonathan: No, I want this--

- There's nails this way.
- Come on, come on.

I just want to see the top one.

- Michael: Seen it.
- Stop it--get away.

- [chuckles]
- You're so horrible.

Jonathan: Now I want to see what
they're like.

Oh my god.

Pull it off.

Should we peel it more delicate.

No, no, no, no.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Take it, take it, take it, take
it, take it!

Oh my god, I want to put it
somewhere.

Absolutely magnificent.

Jonathan: These are digital
restorations of the original.

Now we need to get these into
the banqueting hall.

I can take two.

Dick: Tomorrow they start the
task of putting them up.

♪ ♪

Dick: Two and a half hours drive
northwest of Jonathan and

Michael is another chateau:
Chateau du Bailleul.

It's the splendid home of
husband and wife Philip and

Angelina Bailee-Smith.

It was all like, I said, "We're
gonna go live here in a chateau

in France."

Showed her and picture and:
"All right."

It was literally like that.

No it wasn't like, "All right,"
it was like, "Yeah, yeah, I want

it, I want it."

"Call them now, I want it, I'm
signing."

♪ ♪

Dick: They're renting this 17th
century place in the Pays de la

Loire region of northern France
to try their hand at chateau

life before deciding whether or
not to buy their own.

Phil: To me, the dream of living
in a chateau and making it pay

for itself is alive and well and
I couldn't genuinely think of

living back in London now, I
just--I couldn't.

♪ ♪

Dick: As a first step to
starting an events business at

the chateau, Phil and Angelina
have taken on the challenge of

hosting a 50th wedding
anniversary party.

Dick: Over the last eight weeks,
they've cleared the grounds,

built a bar, and even a bridge.

- Last one's yours fella.
- Right.

Dick: With a little help from
yours truly.

Dick: Well done.

♪ ♪

Dick: Now the big day has
finally arrived.

Looks stunning--really, really
stunning.

Dick: And Phil and Angelina,
joined by a few local helpers,

are working flat-out to get the
chateau ready before the 50th

anniversary couple arrive in
two-hours' time.

Angelina: Phil, I'm just a bit
worried about the amount of

glitter ribbon.

I just don't think I have
enough.

♪ ♪

Dick: With 60 guests expected,
Phil wants to make sure the way

to the party is well signposted.

Phil: It's a bit stressful, if
you park in the wrong place

French neighbours shouting "Why
are you parking in my driveway,

and no, I don't, you know, this
isn't a party this is my

house."

Gonna be a little bit
embarrassing.

It's always a bit stressful for
the start of the party.

We need to make a sign that's
nice and clear for all the

visitors.

So we found a beautiful frame
that I bought, I think it's

stunning, really full of
character, very chateau-y.

- Angelina: You have a pencil?
- Phil: No I don't.

- You have measuring tape?
- Phil: Inside.

I'll go and get the ruler.

Phil: No, no, no--I don't need a
ruler, I need a pencil.

♪ ♪

Angelina: Yeah, but I need
straight lines.

Oh yeah, you get the ruler I'll
get--

Angelina: Argh!

--a pencil will be helpful,
thanks.

Dick: The pressure's starting to
take its toll.

Phil: Gonna pull one of these
out, give me two seconds to cut

this first, thank you.

Angelina: OK.

Put your hands on that, like
that, OK.

- Shall we, really?
- Yes.

The arrow is left for the
party--

Angelina: Yes, that's right.

--the arrow is right for the
parking.

Angelina: I know about that
arrow--oh my god, I just wanna

kill you now.

Phil: Never argue with a man
with power tools.

♪ ♪

Phil: I've got to go off and get
the tables and chairs, which

shows me how far behind I am,
'cause it means once furniture

starts to arrive it's happening,
isn't it, you know.

It's not a case of, "Uh oh, I
can get away with this."

- Bye.
- Angelina: Ciao.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today is Phil and
Angelina's own first wedding

anniversary, but there's no time
to celebrate.

If today doesn't go well, they
may have to give up their dream

of a chateau life.

It's at the back of your mind,
if I don't do it now and get it

right, should we carry on, on
this sort of this or shouldn't

we?

♪ ♪

Phil: These are the tables and
chairs.

There won't be enough to seat
everybody, but not everybody at

the same time, it's quite an
informal affair they want in the

evening.

Never ending.

I hope they appreciate it,
coming into it.

Typical [sighs].

It's not glamorous, this,
sometimes.

It's just hard graft.

We're doing it on a shoestring
budget to try and start a

business to see if it works on
as little as possible, so we're

doing ten people's jobs.

Dick: Seating sorted, that's one
more job done.

But Phil's got plenty more on
his plate.

We get it 75% right, we can
carry on with this business.

If we make a mess of this today,
we're just not cut out for that

sort of thing.

Do you know what, now I've
thought about that, I can feel

the pressure.

Dick: It's proving to be one of
the hottest days of the year.

Perfect for the party, less so
for Angelina.

Because of the scale of the
place, it's impossible, you end

up running 1,000 metres one way
then 1,000 another, and you're

just exhausted really.

Well, I am now, I'm sweating,
look at me--Sweaty Betty.

♪ ♪

Dick: There's now just two hours
until the clients are due to

arrive.

And Phil seems to have forgotten
his most pressing job of all.

Toilets need to be cleared up.

- Yeah--uh--
- It's about, what, 11:00?

It's, uh--I still haven't quite
finished the toilets.

♪ ♪

Dick: Unbelievably, after eight
weeks to prepare for this event,

Phil still hasn't sorted out the
abomination that is the guests'

toilet.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just over 100 mile

Dick: Just over 100 miles
southeast, Alan--one of the

volunteers at Chateau de
Jalesnes--is helping Michael and

Jonathan put up the newly
acquired artwork in the banquet

hall.

♪ ♪

The first part is all about
measuring out and getting it

levelled, to them hopefully by
the end of the day we should

have all of those up.

Knowing Jonathan, everything's
gonna be spot-on perfect,

measured to within a millimetre,
so I reckon will be the biggest

challenge will be getting
Jonathan happy.

Dick: Michael knows his partner
well, because one hour later--

♪ ♪

How's it going now--oh, blimey.

Alan's let me down a little bit,
'cause he's not centred this

picture.

I've got a good eight inches on
one side, and a good three

inches on the other.

Shall I just mark the rest of
your work while I'm here.

And what did you have in mind
here, Alan, just for my

amusement?

Dick: After a bit more tweaking,
Jonathan is happy, but will

Michael be?

Michael will not--he'll just
come in an grunt at it and say,

"It seems a lot of money to pay
for a poster."

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[Michael chuckles]

- What are you laughing for?
- It's done isn't it?

They look good.

Why were you laughing?

It's a lot of nudity, isn't it?

Is that all you were laughing
at?

I can cope with it, if it's just
the nudity.

Yeah, they're cool.

They're brilliant.

They're big.

Michael: These are brilliant,
these are good.

- Michael: And who's she?
- She's Madame Pompadour.

And why's Madame Pompadour
famous?

I know the name.

She is the mistress of Louis
the 15th..

- Yeah, he's done all right.
- [chuckles]

Michael: No, yeah--

I like--I like 'em.

- I like 'em a lot.
- Good.

Michael: Yeah--yeah, I do.

I'm happy, he's happy, no
row--[chuckles]--which I thought

was coming.

Dick: They're both happy, the
question is, will the investors

be when they arrive in just
two-days' time?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: The 13-bedroom Chateau du
Masgelier.

Parts of it date back to 1174.

It has medieval dungeons, a
chapel, and a 14-bedroom coach

house.

Now run as a holiday home.

It's all owned, run, and being
restored by single mum Fiona

Jones.

Fiona: Oh, it's the best thing
that I did.

Wouldn't want to live anywhere
else.

Dick: Slap bang in the heart of
France, she and her son live

here in the upstairs floor while
slowly renovating the rest of

the chateau, with the goal of
eventually running the restored

area as a B&B alongside the
holiday home.

If only you had thumbs you could
help me.

Dick: This year she's focused on
the first floor, and this dining

room is the last room to do.

Fiona: I've not found that one
room here has just been simple.

Dick: In one week she's throwing
a party for the mayor and local

community in an attempt to start
promoting the B&B.

Fiona: The pressure's on now,
it's a big job this room to

complete.

Dick: She's plastered the room
and primed it ready for

decorating.

Today's jobs are wallpapering
and filling in the problematic

gaps between the ceiling beams.

Having a lot of problems with
bats, mice.

What's actually happening is the
bats are getting in through all

of the tiny little gaps in
between the beams here.

My idea, I'm going to
attempt--I think this will

work--to spray foam all the way
through that, and then I'm going

to varnish it so it's at least
sealed.

And it would take a damn good
mouse to chew through all of

that.

Here is goes.

♪ ♪

- Dick: Mm.
- Fiona: Gravity!

Stay.

Dick: That doesn't look like
it's really filling the hole to

me.

Fiona: What I'll do is I'll let
be the bigger areas just dry,

and then I'll put some more foam
in afterwards and just build it

up.

Add another layer and then
that'll be fine.

What a mess.

I've not used this product
before, it's a lot softer.

♪ ♪

Fiona: It shouldn't be dripping,
like--not to this excess,

it's a real mess.

Dick: Fiona's going to have to
come up with another plan if she

wants to finish this job in the
time she's got.

♪ ♪

Dick: 170 miles northwest,
Chateau de Jalesnes shareholders

are coming today to see how
their investment is doing.

Their visit ends with an annual
general meeting--or AGM.

The way the business has been
going, it's likely to be a tough

one.

But Jonathan and Michael have a
couple of treats up their

sleeves.

Hello, have you had a good
morning?

[goat bleats]

Dick: One of them is goats.

What have you been doing?

Could you eat a little bit more
for me please?

[goat bleats]

Jonathan: 'Cause they say that
you won't eat enough.

Dick: They hope the investors
will like the clever idea to

have the grass trimmed for
almost no cost.

Look at that, somebody's been
chucking their bloomin'

breakfast out there for the
goats.

I didn't think that--you
shouldn't be feeding goats

pizza, should you?

Dick: The other treat is the new
paintings in the banquet hall.

It's definitely gonna be a
talking point, I reckon.

♪ ♪

Dick: They'll show the investors
the paintings tomorrow.

Tonight they'll wine and dine
them.

They've started to arrive
earlier than expected.

Michael: The meal starts at
half--

Jonathan: Yeah, it starts at
7:00.

7:00.

So I'll got get drinks ready as
well.

- Jonathan: OK.
- So I'm gonna get changed.

All right, meet you back here in
10?

Done.

We've now got three investors
all arriving at the same time,

and we've got to get the drinks
ready for dinner tonight.

They were supposed to be
staggered, but it will just turn

into a complete mess.

- [phone rings]
- It's never ending.

Jonathan: Oui, allo, Chateau de
Jalesnes.

Dick: It's not the best start.

I hope tomorrow goes better.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: 100 miles northwest, at
Chateau du Bailleul, it's the

day of the 50th wedding
anniversary party that Phil and

Angelina Baillie-Smith have
spent the last two months

preparing for.

Loads of nails fell into that
sink--

Phil: Don't care.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today's party is a test.

If it goes well they may stay in
France.

If it goes badly they may pack
up and give up the dream of

running a chateau business.

This is the life that I'm really
happy we're currently living

and can't wait to continue.

So I'd be heartbroken if it
ended.

♪ ♪

Dick: The guests of honour are
due to arrive in two hours,

but Phil hasn't finished fixing
the toilets he promised would

be ready.

[dryer hums]

Well, this particular toilet is
almost finished.

Once this is in, the toilet's
two screws and one pipe

connector, and then it's done.

I think I might have to cement
the pipe to fill it up.

Dick: As Phil tests his speed
plumbing skills, Angelina's

putting the finishing touches to
the party signs.

I'll just copy this star, I
quite like it.

God, all these swirly things.

That's a good arrow--that's a
good-size arrow.

I mean, you know, you can't miss
going in the

wrong--[chuckles]--direction.

One of the other things that I
wanted to do, I actually like

cake decorating type of
stencils.

Kind of like fleur-de-lis.

Lovely.

A bit of little swirly action
there.

If you turn right instead of
left, you're gonna miss the

party.

♪ ♪

Dick: Phil's attempting to get
at least one of the toilets up

and running.

Phil [sighing]: How do I do
this?

Dick: But unfortunately there's
a new problem.

Phil: The actual water feed to
the toilet has now decided

it doesn't want to play
ball and is dripping.

This is an absolute nightmare.

♪ ♪

Dick: Phil promised his clients
two working toilets to

accommodate the 60 guests, but
he's struggling to provide one.

And even worse, golden
anniversary couple Chris and

Anne, are nearly here.

It just seems five minutes ago
that I met you and we got

married.

A lot of people who are coming
today, I don't think have been

to a chateau.

Anne: We've got son flying in
from England, and we've got some

Dutch--they've driven over 800
miles to get here, so that's

gonna be a special moment.

We've put our trust in them to
make sure that they're gonna

make this a special day for us
as well, as has been promised.

When we first saw it there was a
tremendous amount of work that

had to be done.

Well, here we are.

♪ ♪

[car horn honks]

Phil: OK.

Dick: With Phil caught short,
and Angelina nowhere to be seen,

there's no one to welcome Chris
and Anne.

Anne: Gosh, I've forgotten how
big the place was.

Chris: Yeah, I have.

I don't know where they are.

Good heavens, what a lovely way
to spend 50 years of marriage.

Dick: Will they be happy with
Phil and Angelina's preparations

for their big day?

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes,
the investors have been arriving

through the night.

By this morning they're all
here.

Hello, how are you?

Jonathan: Come on, come on in.

Dick: The key part of the visit
is the annual general meeting.

Jonathan: Probably the most
important date in the diary this

year.

Dick: And because the business
has been struggling, Michael and

Jonathan are worried.

Jonathan: They could say that
they're not satisfied with the

progress and it's not an idle
threat, they could say, "Sorry

guys, you've given it your best
shot but now we need somebody

who knows what they're doing."

So they're hoping to impress the
investors with their new

paintings for the chateau's
banquet hall.

Thanks for joining the tour.

Jonathan: What I'd really like
you to see is what we've done in

the main gallery.

Let's go through and see what
you think.

The idea has been is to take the
old, traditional oil painting

artworks of some of the French
masters, but to display them in

a contemporary manner.

♪ ♪

It's a huge improvement, I think
it's warmed up the room, and I

love it.

So how do you rate them?

It's not my favourite.

Man: Well, I'm particularly
bothered by this one I must say

because it is a violent
painting, and this is a room

that's gonna be used for
weddings, for happy occasions.

Dick: It wasn't quite the vote
of confidence Jonathan had been

hoping for.

[chatter]

♪ ♪

I suppose I'm disappointed that
people were more opinionated

then--[chuckles]--they needed to
have been.

It was the most momentous thing
that we've done.

Cost us the most money.

Dick: And there's more to worry
about.

The investors board has called a
pre-meeting to discuss the

agenda for the AGM.

Thank you very much for coming.

I'll start off with Item #1.

♪ ♪

Dick: And they aren't happy
about the goats or the fence to

keep them in around the chateau.

Man: I think a lot of people
have the same view of putting up

a farm fence and farm animals
on the chateau.

I'd be seriously concerned
that's gonna detract from the

quality of people who want to
stay at the chateau.

As with anything that we buy or
sort out, there's normally two

or three weeks of us getting it
right.

So point taken on board.

We'll talk to the sheep people
today and we'll see what

improvements or modifications
that we can make.

Michael: Three brides I have
spoken to about it know about

it.

And they're fine with sheep, are
they?

- And goats.
- Man: Goats and the moat, yeah?

I think enough people sort of
viewed the fence and said,

"What is that?"

I said to you all along that I
had my reservations about it, I

said I'm going to try it, and I
said specifically to the guys

bringing it in, "If I don't like
it it's all coming out."

So thank you very much for
attending, and I look forward to

seeing you tomorrow for the AGM.

Thank you very much.

- Man 1: Thanks.
- Man 2: Thank you.

♪ ♪

Dick: The board aren't keen on
the goats.

But what they really don't like
is the fence.

Michael and Jonathan will need
to think what to do about it

before the AGM tomorrow.

I was amazed how anti people
were.

I wasn't expecting quite the
battle, actually.

So the sheep might have to go if
they're voted down tomorrow.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Masgelier,
owner Fiona Jones is slowly

renovating parts into a bed and
breakfast.

She's just worked out she's been
using the wrong foam filler to

plug the gaps in the ceiling
beams of the dining room,

and has now bought a type better
suited to the task.

Right, let's hope this works.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Look at that, fabulous.

Dick: Fiona needs to get a move
on.

This whole room needs to be
ready for the unveiling party

for the mayor in just one-week's
time.

I'm just gonna leave that for a
little while and then I'm gonna

cut it all out so that you don't
even know that there's foam

there.

♪ ♪

I've got some insulation foam,
which I'm going to pack the

bigger holes out with initially,
and then I'm going to spray foam

that.

♪ ♪

Dick: Fiona will wait for that
to dry, then she'll be able to

trim and neaten it up, and wood
stain it to match the beams.

Even if it looks like a mess
right now, it'll be fine.

♪ ♪

Dick: In the meantime, she's got
the wallpapering to craic on

with.

I haven't used this wallpaper
before, but I've got it from

England.

I was just looking for something
that was sage green with a gold

effect.

Dick: She's cutting it fine.

She needs to collect her little
boy Louie from school in just an

hour's time.

♪ ♪

So that is completely out--OK.

That is completely out, I knew
it would be.

Oops, it is.

Dick: The problem with all old
chateaus is that the walls,

ceilings and floors are never at
right angles, so hanging

wallpaper becomes a real test of
patience.

It's important to get the first
piece straight.

♪ ♪

Dick: If just one strip of paper
is pasted at the wrong angle,

all others lined up against it
will be wonky too.

♪ ♪

So that's perfect, look at that,
straight on the bubble--it's

perfect.

Dick: She's got the line up
right, but the heat on this

scorching summer's day is
causing her other problems.

Fiona: It's 32 degrees today.

The edges are drying out too
quickly and curling.

I need to go and get Louie as
well, this is the problem, I'm

rushing thinking about Louie.

I can't do it.

I don't know why the edges are
drying so quickly.

I've never had this happen.

Dick: She's only hung two
strips, but she's run out of

time and has to go and collect
Louie.

She hasn't finished either the
foam filler or the papering she

needed to take off today.

With the big party looming, will
she be able to finish the room

in time?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Meanwhile, back at Chateau
du Bailleul, golden anniversary

couple Chris and Anne have
arrived, and their party's due

to start in less than an hour.

Chris: I don't know where they
are, should be go towards the

terrace, or?

Dick: But Phil and Angelina are
still rushing to get the chateau

ready.

♪ ♪

Angelina: I hope everyone can
see this.

This parking signs represents a
very long drive ahead, and then

you gotta do a sharp right.

Self-explanatory.

We are not doing great for time.

- Angelina: Hello!
- Chris: Hi there.

Anne: Hello.

I haven't seen you for ages.

- Chris: This looks lovely.
- Angelina: Thank you.

Anne: Hello my darling.

Oh you look gorgeous, and smell
amazing.

- I'm sorry, I am--
- It's all right.

--in my work mode.

Anne: It's OK, you've been
working, haven't you?

We have many surprises for you.

- Anne: Ooh!
- [Angelina chuckles]

Dick: One surprise they may not
like is Phil's still struggling

to plumb in the toilets for 60
guests.

Phil: I think I might have to
get Angelina to stall them

slightly.

I need gloves.

This is way too hot, I need my
gloves.

They're here.

We're trying to shepherd them
in one direction and away from

certain rooms and others, so
we're currently playing a tag

team of making sure they're all
right and don't need to go

anywhere.

Dick: Angelina's hoping to buy a
few more precious minutes by

showing Chris and Anne the
bedroom she's renovated for

them.

Angelina: Ta-da!

- Anne: Oh, it looks beautiful.
- Chris: Look at this.

Anne: And the butterflies are
amazing.

Angelina: It's a lovely cold
room.

I've made you lovely bath balms
if you wish to take a bath

before the party starts.

It's lovely.

Chris: A couple of questions.

We don't intend to spend a great
deal of time in the room.

Yes.

Chris: I mean, we've not seen
around the rest of the house.

♪ ♪

Dick: With Chris keen to start
inspecting, finally there's a

very welcome--if slightly
weird--sound in the guest

toilet.

Makes a bit of a noise.

[toilet squeals]

We'll certainly know if they get
stuck in there.

You can press it a few times,
give more signals, can't they?

Dick: Well, Phil's got one of
the toilets up and running.

Angelina surreptitiously ushers
Chris and Anne past and outside

to the main event.

Phil: Straight through please.

Dick: Will they be satisfied
with the party venue?

Phil, should we go through the
different areas?

Phil: We've got the area for
those that want to have a fire,

out the way.

Angelina: On the other land over
the bridge.

Yeah, we haven't got the smoke
coming across here.

Anne: And look at your bridge,
it looks amazing.

Phil: Yeah.

We've laid out a decent amount
of seating.

- The outdoor bar.
- Anne: Oh, that's amazing.

- Anne: Really beautiful.
- Phil: Yeah.

- Chris: Lovely.
- [laughter]

Dick: They seem happy, so Phil
decides to confess.

I've got one last thing, I'm
down to--I've managed to get one

of the downstairs toilets
finished to completion.

The other one, there is issues
with the pipe work--

Chris: You can only use one at a
time?

- Phil: Yeah.
- [Anne laughs]

- Chris: OK.
- Phil: All right.

Dick: Well, that went better
than I thought.

What I'll do is I'll leave you
go and greet some guests while I

get changed.

Yeah.

Phil: You go and have a shower
first, I'll deal with gates and

what have you.

- Fantastic.
- Well, they've pulled it off.

Yeah.

Anne: They've done wonders,
absolutely.

A perfect place for a wedding.

Chris: What they've managed to
achieve, it's totally

delightful.

I can't sum it up any better
than that.

♪ ♪

Dick: With the guests starting
to arrive, and after eight weeks

of hard graft, it's party time
at Chateau du Bailleul.

Phil: To Chris and Anne, 50
years!

[cheers]

Phil: It's great, we've done
that out of literally blood,

sweat and tears.

I'm seeing it come to reality,
and I can see other people right

now really enjoying what I
envisaged, so that actually

other people are as wowed at it
as I would hope they would be.

Maybe my crazy dream is maybe
not as crazy as it sounds in the

first place.

We've done really well.

- Phil: And--
- Yes.

- --on our wedding anniversary.
- Yeah, that's true.

- Love you.
- Love you too.

[chatter]

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes,
the board of investors aren't

happy with the fence surrounding
the chateau.

Dick: Jonathan admits they may
have a point.

I realize that the imposing
nature of our driveway here,

has been completely compromised
by the fact that these posts are

right on the edge.

So what was a lovely tree-lined
avenue has now

got--[chuckles]--this sheep
enclosure impinging on it.

Jonathan: It's our calling card,
that very first thing that they

see, and if it's a load of rough
wooden stakes in the ground,

that's not gonna do us many
favours.

Exactly.

Dick: By moving it down the
slope of the moat, the fence

shouldn't be so prominent.

Merci bien.

OK.

The plan so far is that they're
gonna finish off doing the

fencing tonight, come and put
the last bits of that in, and

the sheep will arrive tomorrow.

[goat bleats]

Dick: There are six sheep
arriving in addition to these

goats.

But the board has agreed to
defer deciding their fate until

the annual general meeting.

[goat bleats]

Dick: And there's another
problem.

They've just said another
problem we've got is if we

put a male and a female
male--they never put male goats

with customers because male
goats smell quite strong.

These men can smell goats?

Michael: Yeah, they can tell the
difference between the male and

the female's smell.

I can't smell anything.

Now they've mentioned it, I can
smell.

- That's ridiculous.
- They can smell male goat.

So what do they say, we would
have all females?

Should have all female.

Jonathan: Well, we need to get
on top of it, don't we?

Get on top of the goats.

Let's just see how it goes.

- Jonathan: Come on.
- Where are we going?

- Where are we going now?
- What?

Work!

Dick: There's no more time for
goat talk, they need to prepare

the financial report for the
AGM.

We should make an operating
profit around 9,000 this year.

What's left over here--seven.

Five.

5,000--and we'd get half of
that.

Jonathan: 2,500 euros between
the two of us, that's 1,250

euros each.

- Michael: For a year's--
- For a year's work.

Michael: Three year's work
[chuckles].

Dick: As they go through the
books, they start to wonder if

it's all worthwhile or whether
they should give up of their own

accord.

Jonathan: When do we start to
earn?

No quality of life.

Working 14 hours a day, seven
days a week.

Are you going to give it a go
for another year?

Jonathan: Are you happy to do
it?

[birds chirp]

♪ ♪

Dick: In the heart of France,
Fiona spent five years

renovating her chateau in the
hope of one day running it as a

B&B.

For the last week she's been
trying to renovate her dining

room in time for an unveiling to
the local mayor.

♪ ♪

Dick: And she's made it.

Fiona: It does give you a nice
sense of achievement that you've

not just gone into a room and
just decorated it, it's really

had to be gutted and the whole
room's had to be reinstated to

put it back to its originality
as best that I'm able to.

♪ ♪

Dick: Finally, the man who she
hopes will bless her business

venture, the mayor--Michel
Nevah--arrives.

I'm going to take him inside
now, just let him have a look.

♪ ♪

Fiona: I just kind of finished
wallpapering yesterday.

This is literally the last room
on the ground floor that is

complete.

Dick: What does he think?

[Mayor speaking in French]

He insisted to--

[Mayor speaking in French]

Hmm--yes, he insisted to have a
visit with you because he was

very curious to see how it had
become, and he's so happy.

- It's a very nice surprise.
- OK.

Woman: And I think he thinks a
lot of people would be very

pleased to visit it one day.

Dick: It's the official seal of
approval.

♪ ♪

Dick: But there's one thing
bothering the mayor.

[Mayor speaking in French]

- Woman: Oh--
- What's that?

[chuckling]

--he would be pleased if you'd
learn the French language.

- Yes--
- [woman chuckles]

- --but tell him--
- Woman: He can help you.

Fiona: No--but tell him I'm so
busy working that I don't get

out to have a good time and talk
with French.

Dick: It's been a great day for
Fiona, and what?s more, the

mayor seems enthusiastic about
her plans for a B&B.

Fiona: He's full of excitement
and ideas for the chambre d'eau.

Gives you more motivation to
just continue.

♪ ♪

Dick: So what's next for this
one-woman renovation army?

Fiona: All of the windows need
to be painted, and the panes of

glass need to be replaced, and
any of the woodwork can be

repaired.

And then I'll be finishing off
the large servants'

staircase.

And um, yeah, after that,
start hitting the bedrooms on

the first floor--get the
business up and running.

Dick: I wish you all the best
Fiona, and with your energy I'm

sure you'll manage.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Bailleul,
Phil and Angelina's first ever

paid event is in full swing.

Woman 1: It's just wonderful.

I think it can be a real
business for them.

I know that Angelina, she's just
really passionate about that.

Woman 2: I've had a fabulous
time, absolutely brilliant.

A chateau is meant to be alive,
and that's exactly what it is

tonight--it is alive.

♪ ♪

Dick: With the party and chateau
earning rave reviews, Phil and

Angelina can finally turn their
attention to a celebration of

their own.

Angelina: Everyone's having a
great time, that's only a good

sign, isn't it?

Yeah.

[cork pops]

Ooh, early start--let's
celebrate.

Phil: Hey, we've done everything
we possibly can.

Yeah.

Everything we've promised, which
is great.

Thank you very much.

- [Phil sighs]
- [glasses clink]

Phil: The first party, first
event.

Angelina: Yeah.

It's the first of so many.

And I was--I was coming close to
pulling the plug.

But you know what, I see
the future.

Nothing more we can do
tonight.

- No.
- It's a great party.

- We pulled it off.
- We pulled it off.

Phil: Well done.

Angelina: May there be many
more.

First of many.

Angelina: I look forward to some
sleep--sleep 24 hours.

[chuckles]

[glasses clink]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Jalesnes in
the Loire Valley, it's almost

time for the AGM, and Jonathan
and Michael could find

themselves out of a job if the
investors aren't happy with the

way the business is going.

♪ ♪

The worst that could happen in
the meeting is a motion of no

confidence, because we've not
achieved the targets that we

said we would.

I'm nervous about it.

This is a very vocal group, and
they will all want to make their

point.

Dick: And even if they aren't
pushed, they're considering

leaving anyway.

I hate criticism and I've just
got to bite my tongue, and I

mustn't bite back.

Preparation is the key.

If it looks great when they walk
in you've got half the battle

won, because they think, "Oh,
this is going to be a

professional do."

[birds chirp]

Dick: Jonathan and Michael know
the biggest discussion today

will be about the fence and
animals.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to
the annual general meeting of

the salle Chateau du Jalesnes.

It's come to my attention that
we might have a contentious

issue to discuss.

Dick: This part of the meeting
will take place behind closed

doors.

Jonathan: We have an issue about
the arrival of the sheep.

Man: If you're going to bring
the sheep in, why do we have

such great big posts there?

Woman: You see these posts stuck
along the road like a farm

fence, and it's totally
distracted from the whole

chateau.

Man: If there are things that
come to light, like it doesn't

rain for three weeks and the
place stinks, right?

You might do something
about it.

Jonathan: Exactly, of course.

Overall it's an experiment, and
if it's proved to be wrong it

will disappear.

Dick: The investors decide to
keep the issue under review.

And if it doesn't work out,
Jonathan and Michael will get

rid of them.

Jonathan: I'd like to crack on
as quickly as possible.

Dick: The meeting goes on, and
other chateau business is

discussed.

Man 1: There was some effort to
generate wedding event business

from the States, whatever
happened to that?

Man 2: You say, you concentrate
on weddings during the week,

isn't it?

Jonathan: You're right.

Man 2: And you want bums on
the seats during the week,

as well, don't you?

Jonathan: Yup.

Dick: After three hours it's
finally over.

All the remains to say is thank
you very much for taking the

time to listen to what the board
had to present to you, and for

all the suggestions that you've
made, be they difficult or easy.

Dick: So how do Michael and
Jonathan feel?

There was some discussion about
the sheep and as far as I can

make out there's only one person
who's a fan of the

sheep--[chuckles]--the rest of
them said it was the worst

decision that could possibly
have been made, what were we

thinking of, why didn't we get
anybody's permission, why didn't

we do this, why didn't we do
that, and I think there wasn't a

single person in the room that
didn't have a go for an hour

about how much the sheep have
got to go.

There was very little trust in
our abilities to--

Michael: I don't care about the
sheep, I care about the aspects

of the mandate to be the
managers here.

I didn't come out of that
meeting with a mandate to be

managers and to take the right
decisions.

Dick: It seems the goats and
sheep are just some of the many

issues for Michael and Jonathan.

I feel as if I've got the weight
of the world on my shoulders,

and I can do without it really.

I've got too much going on, and
it's very, very difficult to

keep it all together.

Dick: So they're not making any
rash decisions on their future

now, they're committed to the
upcoming summer wedding.

It's time to start worrying
about other things.

We've not got worrying about our
next event.

Dick: They'll decide if they're
going to stay at Chateau du

Jalesnes after that.

This chateau lark is not all
plain sailing.

[birds chirp]

♪ ♪

Dick: 100 miles northwest, and
it's the morning after the big

event for Philip and Angelina,
and it wasn't all plain sailing.

Yesterday I caught you and you
had your head in your hand.

Why?

Were you having a little post
meltdown?

- Oh yeah, yesterday--
- Crying moment?

- --of course, yeah, I hid--
- He was like this.

Angelina: "Oh, best go and check
on him."

I did it in the middle of the
afternoon.

I--I just ran to the back of the
garden where no one could see

me.

So it's a hidden section.

Everyone else is working
away--doing stuff, right--and I

just hid where no one could see
me.

And just had my head in my hands
going, "Why, we're not gonna

manage this, please."

Dick: Running a chateau can do
that to some people.

You do have really, really down
moments, that's when I have a

cry and a moan, and--you
know--life gets you lemons, and

you make--

- Phil: Lemonade.
- No.

- You make G&T.
- [Phil laughs]

Dick: So, decision time.

Will they carry on with the
chateau life?

Phil: I couldn't have hoped for
more out of it.

In reaction to everybody
yesterday was just--it was the

reassurance I think I needed to
carry on.

So we'll keep the place on for
as long as we can.

And now we're looking forward
and there's no stopping it--I

hope.

Dick: Good luck, Phil and
Angelina.

With a lot of hard work, you too
can make it.

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time:

On the day of the wedding,
Michael and Jonathan struggle

with one problem.

Jonathan: Our lift has jammed
itself on the ground floor.

Dick:--after another--

Jonathan: They don't think they
have any more parts like it,

because it's so old.

Dick:--after another.

Man: I've found the pipe that's
leaking, it's got a split in it.

It looks like it is the mains
pipe.

Dick: When two new parents face
a mammoth task, trying to get

the chateau ready for the
holiday season.

I don't know if we can get
everything done in time.

Dick: They call in support.

I was up to 4:00 in the morning,
and I didn't know I was gonna

[unclear] all day.

Dick: Or at least they thought
they had.

I don't actually know if he's
ever really done a full-day's

work in his life before.

Dick: And major pool and wall
problems--

Man: Oh my god, that is really
not good.

Dick:--threaten to scupper a
chateau's summer opening.

Man: This wall fell down and we
need to put it up before the

guests come.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪