All language subtitles for Escape to the Chateau DIY S01E02.720p.CBC.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-BTN.English

[birds chirping]

This is me:

Dick Strawbridge, my wife Angel,
and our two children in our

glorious French chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what
we've done.

It is so worth it.

We moved here three years ago to
follow our dream of living life

in our very own castle.

[laughing] Oh my god.

Dick: But it's not been easy--

I think I'm a bit too old for
this.

--as dozens of other Brits know
only too well.

Man: Oops.

Floor needs replacing as well
[laughs].

Dick: Because it turns out we're
not the only expats who have

bought a French chateau.

♪ ♪

Wow, absolutely love it!

Jonathan Cooke: 25-year-old
Bordeaux.

Motherlode!

Dick: In this series, we'll
reveal how we're running our

chateau as a business--

There's not a thing about making
sausage that I don't find

humorous.

I'm still finding things that I
haven't seen.

Dick:--and see how these daring
Brits are running theirs--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, this place is
done up.

[woman laughs]

Dick:--as they face the ups--

It's really beautiful.

This is a rare moment, but I am
genuinely at peace.

Dick:--and downs--

It's a lot worse than it looks.

Dick:--of their new lives in
these crumbling and magnificent

buildings.

Man: It is a bit fancy living in
a French chateau.

We might have a few problems on
the way, but that's part of

life, isn't it [laughs]?

Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Dick: Today:
- Angelina: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Dick: A cost-saving way of
making your own trailer.

Rope snapped!

Dick: Wannabe chateau owners try
to find their dream home--

Johnny: Oh, babe, this is what
we want, right?

Dick:--but soon find problems to
bug them.

Johnny: Oh, Dick will have a
field day with this.

Dick: A chateau couple dealing
with a struggling business--

Jonathan: If we don't break even
this year, it would be a

disaster.

Dick:--come to see Angel for
some advice.

Angel: Hello!

Michael Halpin: Good to meet
you, at last.

Dick: And I help to plan an
ambitious building project.

So you haven't got enough to do,
so you've decided to build a

bridge.

Philip Baillie-Smith: Yeah.

Are you sure you want a bridge?

[laughs]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: British artist Johnny and
television producer Ashley are

at the very beginning of their
chateau adventure.

Having outgrown their little
townhouse in Pézenas in the

south of France, they're looking
for a chateau to run.

We wanna open up an art gallery.

Obviously I need a big workshop.

Dick: Angel and I have already
given Johnny advice on the

things they should look out for
when chateau shopping.

Armed with that advice, they're
off to a viewing near Bordeaux.

♪ ♪

Ashley Adams: This one is huge.

They don't have a lot of
pictures, but it looks like a

lot of the renovations have
already been done, which, you

know, has its pluses.

But also, that could be, uh,
because we really wanna make it

our own.

♪ ♪

Dick: Their budget is £320,000.

The place they're about to see
is listed at £550,000 but maybe

there's a little wiggle room on
the price.

♪ ♪

This is the original gatehouse.

Look, I love it.

This is gonna have killer views.

Ashley: Yeah.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Ashley: Beautiful.

Johnny: I love the land already.

- Ashley: I know, it is--
- Johnny: I love it.

- Ashley: Hold on a second.
- Johnny: What?

Look at the sunflowers.

Imagine sitting in those chairs
looking at the sunflowers all

day?

- Johnny: Hmm, awesome.
- Ashley: Nice.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's got 13 bedrooms, 9
bathrooms, a pool, and sits on 8

acres of land.

Today, Johnny and Ashley are
getting a personal tour from the

owner.

- Ashley: Hi!
- Tom: Hi.

Nice to meet you; I'm Ashley.

- Hi, I'm Tom.
- Johnny.

Woman: Nice to meet you, hi.

Tom: Would you like to follow
me?

Dick: Englishman Tom bought the
chateau when it was in ruins

nearly 20 years ago.

- Wow, that's incredible.
- Tom: Yeah.

Huh.

Tom: I was young enough and
naive enough to take it on.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: Tom's put a huge amount of
time, effort, and money into

restoring this place over the
years, and it shows.

Ashley: Yeah, the kitchen's
nice, I like it.

Johnny: Yeah, nice.

And it's nice that it opens up
on to that--that view, yeah.

I can imagine--on to the
terrace.

- Ashley: Ah, that's great.
- Johnny: Yeah.

Ashley: Yeah, the views are just
beautiful.

Johnny: I think it's amazing,
yeah.

The view is absolutely
incredible.

Johnny: It is, eh?

- Breathtaking.
- Ashley: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: The location's a winner,
but Johnny needs to take our

advice on board and start asking
some tough questions.

I see this here.

Is there a little story behind
that one?

That's just a little bit of
woodworm, yeah.

OK.

Termites, they're the ones you
gotta be careful for.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: Spot-on, mate, you were
listening.

Just remind me again how many
boilers.

- Seven or eight?
- Johnny: OK.

Ashley: Yeah.

Yeah, so it's one service then?

Tom: Yeah, the hot water never
runs out.

Johnny: That's a huge plus
point.

The house has been looked after
that way when it comes to

heating boilers.

Very, very good.

We're happy.

♪ ♪

Dick: Well done, Johnny, you're
doing me proud.

So you can see here in the
attic, there's been a new

roof--

Johnny: OK.

- Tom:--a whole roof on.
- Awesome.

Tom: So the whole thing is brand
new.

Yeah.

Wow, that's great.

Dick: A leaky roof of a chateau
can cost anywhere upwards of

£100,000.

So, one that's been newly
refurbished like this is a real

find.

This place seems to be ticking
an awful lot of boxes.

You can't get more French than
this.

No, that's true, babe.

- Sunflowers, spires, steeples.
- Ashley: Church.

Johnny: It's just so quiet.

- So, so peaceful.
- It's really nice.

♪ ♪

Dick: But there's something
nagging at Ashley.

Tom, we have a question for you.

Are there any outbuildings?

No, because I guess what
happened was--there would have

been originally.

I'm assuming that when they put
the two towers on,

they demolished the outbuildings
and used the stone.

Well, that makes sense.

- Upcycling, right?
- Exactly [chuckles].

Before we even used the term.

- Tom: Yeah.
- [Johnny chuckles]

♪ ♪

Dick: The lack of extra space
for Johnny's workshop and art

gallery is a real blow.

I think it's a stunning
property; I think the views are

amazing; but I think the fact
that it doesn't have

outbuildings is a deal-breaker.

We just gotta move forward, just
keep rolling, until we do find

that one that we really connect
with.

We want to find our chateau, and
we will find it.

100%, we're gonna find the
chateau.

Dick: Now that's what I call
positive thinking.

- Johnny: Next appointment.
- Dick: Good man, Johnny.

- Johnny: Come on, baby.
- [Ashley chuckles]

♪ ♪

Dick: Just over 200 miles north
in the Pays de la Loire region

of France sits the beautiful
Chateau de Jalesnes.

This is the home of British
couple Michael and Jonathan.

Five years ago, they became
bored of their lives and jobs as

a buyer and a social housing
manager in London.

Michael and I had gotten as far
as we could with our careers.

I could predicate what every day
was going to be like, and I

thought, "I don't want to be
doing this for another ten

years."

I always said if I had to move
anywhere to live abroad, it

would either be New Zealand or
France.

New Zealand's too far, France
is on the doorstep.

Jonathan: We love the French
people; we love the French way

of life.

Bonjour.

I like croissants or red wine.

[Michael laughs]

Dick: So they bought this place
and converted it, with the help

of investors, into 15 holiday
apartments and a location for

weddings and special events.

The investors are hugely
important to us, as is the bank.

Michael: The key focus of the
chateau is going to be for

weddings, because we need to pay
all the bills that come with

owning a place like this.

♪ ♪

Dick: But after hosting just
three weddings last year,

their first year in business,
it's make or break this summer.

Just to break even this year, we
would need 13 weddings.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: If we don't break even
this year, it would

be--[exhales]--it would be a
disaster.

Dick: Angel and I also host
weddings, so she's invited

Jonathan and Michael over to
discuss ways of making their

weddings more profitable.

- [indicator clicking]
- Jonathan: Oh, wow.

[both chuckle]

Michael: Wow, that's a chateau.

If I was gonna draw one, that's
what it would look like.

- Michael: God.
- Oh my goodness.

Wow.

It's even got a coat of arms
above the door [chuckles].

Michael: That's a chateau and a
half, isn't it?

- Angel: Hello [laughing]!
- Michael: Hello, sorry!

- Good to meet you at last.
- Angel.

- I'm Michael.
- Hello, I'm Jonathan.

- Hi Jonathan.
- Nice to meet you.

- And you too, you too.
- Welcome.

This is our chateau, our home
[laughs].

Love it, love it.

Now, I know that you're doing
weddings, OK?

Yes.

Now, I want to sit down with you
and start looking through some

of your figures--[chuckles]--

Jonathan: Mm hmm.

--but one of the things was your
floristry bill, OK?

Michael: Yes.

Now I--[inaudible] but
I--[laughs]--I do get a lot of

stuff from the garden.

Do you want to go and pick some
stuff--

- Jonathan: Love too, yeah.
- Michael: Please.

Angel: Fab, OK, follow me,
follow me!

♪ ♪

Jonathan: So I wouldn't see
anything in here of potential

for me at the moment, but--

Well, I--I would here.

- I see lovely ivy.
- Ivy, yeah.

Yeah, and--

We normally chuck all that away.

We had it growing up the
chateau, all over the place, and

we see it as the enemy now, so
every piece of ivy we see is off

and straight into the bonfire.

But instead of putting it on the
bonfire, you could be a bit

creative with it.

Ivy--you know something?

You buy fake ivy by the metre.

It's ridiculously expensive.

Do you fancy having a go at
getting some out?

I'll give you my brave gloves.

Yeah, I have not a problem with
that.

Start up here and just get your
fingers under the top of it,

see, and then wiggle it down.

Angel: Wiggle it down, yeah.

Right, fabulous.

So how much do you spend on
flowers for a wedding?

We had one the other day for
3,500.

Wow, that's a lot.

I'm just far too cheap.

In fairness, they're using
proper bona fide flowers,

and we're using weeds out of a
meadow, so you--don't

you--can't--there is a
difference, isn't there, no?

Dick: It looks like Angel might
struggle convincing Jonathan of

her money-saving tips.

I--I am so fine with you being a
little bit skeptical at the

moment, because I feel like I
want to--it's giving me a

challenge to convince you.

♪ ♪

Dick: The 17th century Chateau
Bailleul has 30 rooms and its

very own chapel.

Husband and wife Philip and
Angelina Baillie-Smith are

renting it as a wedding and
events venue.

It's a test run before they
decide whether or not to buy

their own place.

Angelina: Renting before we buy
was a brilliant idea.

It just gave us the opportunity
to experience without the heavy

financial input, if it didn't go
well.

Dick: In just eight weeks, they
host their very first paid

booking--a 50th wedding
anniversary in the chateau

grounds, here in the Pays de la
Loire.

Angelina: Oh my god, the sheer
scale and size of it.

A lot of things to do and kind
of running out of time.

♪ ♪

Dick: Clearing the 6-acre
grounds isn't their only

problem.

The chateau is surrounded by a
moat, and after a recent storm,

a tree has fallen into it.

The view as you come up the
drive is blocked.

Dick: Phil's planning on taking
out his trusty Cornish boat and

chainsawing the tree into
pieces.

Philip: I haven't used this boat
since it was in St. Ives

Harbour, 2005.

Might go in the water and
completely sink.

I have no idea.

Must remember to put the bungs
back in [laughs].

♪ ♪

- Philip: He floats.
- [birds chirping]

[vehicle revving]

Dick: Phil's little boat's
floating nicely.

Unfortunately, his trailer's
stuck in the mud.

Now it gets really worrisome,
should we say?

Um...

I might get Angelina to help me,
but I'd rather she didn't see

the mess I've made.

Dick: Luckily, he's also got a
van to rescue the truck and

trailer, if he can get it
through the tiny gap.

Philip: And we are clear.

It is worth it in the end,
despite the fact it might not

look it quite often?

♪ ♪

Philip: All right, we're moving.

Success.

And I don't have to tell
Angelina that that wasn't as

easy as I'm gonna tell her it
was.

[thunder rumbling]

Dick: Phil's learning that when
running a chateau, it never

rains, it pours.

Philip: Angelina, come get out
of the rain in the chapel!

Coming!

♪ ♪

Philip: Problem with here is if
you think it's gonna take a day,

it'll take three.

There's always something that
stops you here, be it time or

now the weather.

It certainly sometimes feels
like someone's trying to give

you a sign.

[thunder rumbles]

Dick: Have some faith, Phil.

Have some faith.

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at our place--Chateau
de la Motte Husson--Angel's

giving some advice to chateau
owners Michael and Jonathan who

are facing a make-or-break year
for their wedding business.

Though they don't seem convinced
when it comes to her flower

tips.

In fairness, you're using weeds
out of a meadow, so--

I don't think wildflowers for
weddings totally work on their

own.

I mix it up.

And I buy a selection of bought
flowers--

Yeah.

--and I mix it in with all of
this stuff that they're selling

in the florist-they're selling
weeds in the florist [laughs]!

Dick: Our flower bill for a
typical wedding is about 300

euros--way cheaper than Jonathan
and Michael's 3,500.

I am so fine with you being a
little bit skeptical at the

moment 'cause I feel like I want
to--it's giving me a challenge

to convince you, so don't rule
it out yet.

No, all right.

Angel: Just stay with me, stay
with me.

You're gonna be my challenge
today [laughs].

If we can sell these weeds for
two or three--a couple of

thousands, they're well worth it
[laughs].

[Angel laughs]

♪ ♪

This is our orangery, welcome.

Cool.

Angel: I think we're gonna start
by just dressing some teapots

and whist flowers.

Go for it.

♪ ♪

So how many weddings have you
got in your books this year?

- Michael: Eight this year.
- Jonathan: Eight.

- Michael: Eight.
- That's brilliant.

That's the same as us, by the
way, and that was on purpose

because that's a manageable
number.

And are you making a profit with
that?

Michael: We're not making a
profit at the moment, partly.

To break even, we need to be
around the 10 to 12

market--mark.

To make a good healthy profit,
we think we need to be about 18.

Dick: That's 18 weddings a year.

We're making money on every
wedding--

Right.

--but we need to do a lot more
turnover.

Dick: They need to put on more
weddings, or make more wedding

per wedding.

Preferably both.

Have you got all your--of your
own tables and all of that kind

of stuff?

We didn't--we have brides who
come to us, say things like--one

will want round tables, one will
want rectangular tables, one

will want a whole string.

It's what works for us.

Some get married in the woods,
some get married in the garden,

some get married in the chateau
chapel.

Angel: Yeah.

They want to sleep in different
places; they all want breakfast

at different times.

From my perspective, you're
offering too much.

Maybe we're wrong then, because
we just keep thinking people

want the choice.

They do!

And everyone's gonna want
something different.

But if you don't give them a
choice, they'll be exactly the

same happiness [chuckling].

I'm telling you.

♪ ♪

Dick: If they offered a simpler
package with less options, we're

convinced they would spend less
money and make more profit.

And they could save thousands on
the flower bill, if they've got

the skills.

I feel like you're really
enjoying this, Michael.

Are you enjoying it, Jonathan?

You're having a nice time?

Jonathan: It's not my forté, I
have to say.

Would you leave these--

Angel: I can sense that energy.

♪ ♪

Dick: So who's the best
florist:

Michael or Jonathan?

He is the most competitive
person on the planet and if--

Right.

You--you get the prize
because--wait a second,

Jonathan, you get the prize
because this is very similar to

my style.

It's a bit wide.

I love the form of it.

But you get the most creative,
um, award because--[chuckles]--

I'm glad you were lost for
words.

[laughter]

Jonathan: I'm actually
quite--I'm actually quite

pleased with it, so I think
that--

Angel: Go on, take a picture of
it.

--that sitting on a table, on
its own, away from all that

clutter there--

Angel: Yeah, there we go.

Jonathan:--I think--look at
that.

That's the teapot grown, and the
colours, look.

I got the thing--you know--

Angel: It's so arty.

You are so arty, Jonathan
[laughs].

It's great.

Dick: So has my Angel won them
over with her charming flowery

teapots?

It's a joy, actually, to look at
that.

Look at it.

Look at that.

- Just look at that.
- [Angel laughs]

It's got personality, hasn't it?

It has.

Would you do it again?

Would we do this at the chateau?

Yeah.

I actually quite like that
[chuckles].

Dick: I think they've done
really well.

These were good money-saving
tips, but in order to really

increase their revenue, they
have to get more bookings.

Well, should we go and have a
drink and then a bit of lunch?

[laughs]

Jonathan: Now you're talking.

Michael: Now you're talking my
language.

- Dick: Let's hope they do.
- Angel: We can celebrate.

Well done.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just 30 minutes from us at
Chateau Bailleul, the sun is

out, and rookie chateau managers
Phil and Angelina Baillie-Smith

are finishing off clearing up
debris from the winter storms.

For obvious safety reasons,
ideally you'd have professionals

for this.

Sometimes you start a job, you
end up doing it for days on end,

which is quite sort of daunting
and demotivating.

But once you've gone through it,
it's beautiful.

I got it.

Dick: It's been four days of
backbreaking work, but they're

not out of the woods yet.

Ready!

Dick: To dispose the timber,
they're going to need something

much bigger than what they've
got to hand.

♪ ♪

Philip: Need a decent size
trailer, but it's quite

expensive: 3,500 euros..

Not spending 3,500 euros just to
move some stuff.

I'm just gonna destroy a caravan
instead.

♪ ♪

Dick: After picking up a caravan
for free, Phil's gonna have a

crack at reverse engineering.

Philip: What I require is the
chassis.

Easy way of doing this:

- Plywood side--
- Angelina: OK.

--let's hit it off the wood
base.

OK, yeah.

Philip: Then we can lift it off,
OK?

Yeah, a little bit worried, but
I'm sure it'll be all fine.

You didn't get your hat?

Philip: I don't need a hat,
nothing to damage.

Angelina: I agree.

[Philip grunts]

This is for every single time
I've been delayed in traffic.

Ouch.

Philip: There you go, see?

- See it's coming off that way?
- Angelina: Yes.

[Philip breathing heavily]

Angelina: Oh, yeah, yeah, I
certainly do.

- Philip: There we go.
- Angelina: That was quick!

Dick: Although, lifting it off
may take a little longer.

Yeah, it's quite heavy.

I've got a better idea.

- Angelina: What?
- Where's a rope?

♪ ♪

Dick: In engineering terms, Phil
is going to apply Newton's third

law of motion using force,
tension, and friction.

In layman's terms:

I'm gonna rip it off with a car.

♪ ♪

Philip: All right, I'll just
open the window.

Angelina: Oh.

Philip: Air condition, the
standard.

Angelina: It's very forceful.

Dick: Almost all chateau jobs
require the key skill of being

resourceful.

Phil's becoming a master.

♪ ♪

Philip: You don't have to be
rich to have a place like this,

but you have to think of ways to
do it quicker with a tool that

doesn't cost you a vast amount
of money.

And that's how you'll get by in
a place like this.

We're on.

- I'm quite excited.
- Philip: Right, stand back.

All right, see what happens.

- Ready?
- Yes, go!

[Angelina chuckles]

♪ ♪

- [bleep]
- Keep going.

Rope snapped [chuckles]!

If we try to lift the front
now--

We?

[whispering] I don't think so.

Would you like a sledgehammer
again?

Philip: No, I'd like to be
stronger.

Hasn't gone according to plan.

Angelina: Go!

Yay!

Well done!

It looks awesome.

Well, that was simple.

Look at that.

You peel away all of the mess,
what you get to--this is the

steel chassis of the caravan.

I might celebrate getting this
far.

3,500 euros for a trailer or an
afternoon's work destroying

something to help us do another
job quicker.

♪ ♪

Dick: I admire Phil's optimism,
but there's still a long way to

go before he can call this thing
a trailer.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: In the southwest of
France, artist Johnny and

partner Ashley are back on the
hunt for their dream chateau.

The last place they saw didn't
have the outbuilding space that

Johnny needed for his workshop,
so it's on to the next one.

♪ ♪

What the satellite's telling me,
it's just up here, babe.

- Oh wait--
- Oh, I think that's it.

- Johnny: That's it, right?
- Ashley: I think it is.

Oh wow.

- Johnny: First impressions?
- [Ashley chuckles]

- Ashley: It's huge.
- Johnny: Overgrown?

- [both laugh]
- Both: Wow.

♪ ♪

Dick: This is Chateau de
Lomenie.

Johnny: Oh, how nice is this?

Look.

Dick: It's on the market for
just under £530,000.

£210,000 over their budget.

Johnny: Here we are, baby.

[both chuckle]

Dick: And it's only got four
bedrooms.

- Bonjour.
- Ashley: Bonjour.

Bonjour madame.

[speaking in French]

- Ashley?
- Je suis Ashley.

- How are you?
- [chuckles]

Dick: But it does come with more
than 12 acres of land and

several large outbuildings.

I think it's awesome.

I really love it.

I mean, it's--it's different to
what we've looked at before.

Ashley: Yeah.

Dick: And like the last place
they saw, it's also got a

brand-new roof.

Shall we look at the castle
first?

- [inaudible]
- Ashley: OK.

OK, come.

♪ ♪

[Alvy speaking in French]

- Ashley: Oh, wow.
- Alvy: Entrance, beautiful.

- Ashley: Yeah, look at--

- Mosaic floor.
- Ashley: Beautiful.

Wow, stunning.

♪ ♪

Alvy: Bibliothèque?

Johnny: Oh, the library, oui?

Alvy: Right.

This is what I love, this kind
of detail.

- And these are stained?
- Oui.

- Oui?
- Alvy: Oui.

Oui, oui.

Beautiful.

♪ ♪

Dick: They're barely through the
door when Johnny's eagle eyes

spot something wrong with the
living room parquet floor.

So this is crazy, baby.

I mean, it's just been shot to
pieces.

And all this is hardwood.

And I can see one of the buggers
here, look.

- Ashley: Oh, is it--
- Johnny: There he is.

Dick: These are the dreaded
termites I warned him about that

live in the south.

They feed on cellulose, and one
of their favourite places to

find it is in the deadwood used
to build houses or make

furniture.

Apparently there's almost--you
can draw a line through France

where north of this line, i.e.,
where Dick and Angel live,

they have woodworm.

The further south you go,
apparently--[laughs]--we get

termites here, and it's a big,
big problem.

Dick: This entire hardwood floor
would need to be ripped out and

replaced.

Johnny: Although this is a pain
in the butt, all these places,

we know they all need work.

They all do.

There's no getting away from it.

You know, for the budget we've
got.

♪ ♪

Dick: But downstairs in the
basement, there's even more

termite damage.

Johnny: Oh, Dick will have a
field day with this.

Look at that.

Crumbling.

Dick: Could this end Johnny and
Ashley's dream?

Damn, look at it.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau Bailleul in
northern France, Phil

Baillie-Smith's grinding ahead
with his homemade trailer.

Philip: Just want to go and buy
everything you need, rather than

making it.

But a similar size trailer I was
gonna buy is 3,000--3,500

eros.

♪ ♪

Dick: All Phil needs to do is to
put a base and some sides on it,

and he'll be able to clear the
storm-damaged tree from the

ground.

But there's a problem.

♪ ♪

I want to eliminate flex at the
front before we put the frame on

the top.

If it's not straight, it'll
never tow correctly.

Dick: Like a true engineer, Phil
is planning his project with a

blueprint using a felt tip pen
and a paper napkin.

I'm so proud.

'Cause I don't like planning too
much, on the right is current,

on the left is some
strengthening bits I have to put

in, and the finished product.

Dick: With their first-ever paid
booking just weeks away,

Angelina's job is to get the
feel of the chateau just right.

Angelina: Our guests--Anne and
Chris--will be staying here.

However, when you come in to
stay in a chateau, you don't

expect to sleep on a great big
pallet bet, made completely out

of pallets.

So I got a bed to replace it.

It's curved; it's split at the
front; lots of detail.

It's a lot more French chateauy
look to it.

♪ ♪

Dick: Angelina's got her work
cut out.

Decades ago, the chateau was
converted into a hotel, and the

owners didn't quite share her
passion for authenticity.

Chateaux, over the years,
they've all been done to

somebody else's needs, so you do
need to put in the work into it

to make it pretty.

[drilling]

Angelina: Perfect, that was
easy.

Dick: While Angelina creates a
chateau room of her dreams,

outside, Phil's having a
nightmare trying to fix his

supporting struts to the
trailer.

It's not good enough [grunting].

Dick: His electric welder just
isn't powerful enough to bond it

to the chassis.

Time for plan B:

Drill holes and bolt it
together.

Actually, probably should have
been the plan--should have been

plan A.

Dick: I'd hurry up if I were
you, fella.

Angelina's nearly finished.

[drilling]

Angelina: Oops.

Dick: And the wood pile's
getting bigger.

I'm on my last one, but the
screw has been dethreaded, so

I've got nothing to catch him
with, and I need Phil doing his

magic.

Dick: Unfortunately, Phil's got
his own problems.

Drill bit snapped.

When things aren't going your
way, you sometimes wonder if

it's gonna be worth it.

Dick: But she's doing a sterling
job on her own.

Angelina: Put the rubber over
the screw.

Hopefully that will provide a
grip.

Yes, finally!

[exhales]

I'll so pleased!

♪ ♪

Hey, hon!

How are you getting on?

Good!

How's it going?

It's not going according to the
original napkin plan.

I have confidence in you!

[Philip sighs]

Philip: There are many hours of
my life spent in this, and lots

where I wish I just bought a
trailer.

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes,
it's a big day for owners

Jonathan and Michael.

Where are they?

Michael: I think they just
pulled up.

Superb.

Dick: Today, they're expecting
an American couple who are

looking for the perfect location
for their wedding.

If they can persuade them to
book the chateau, it'll be a

massive step towards making
their business profitable.

Jonathan: It's the American
market for destination weddings,

has to be one of the biggest in
the world.

Most Americans love France, and
love chateau, love history and

things like that.

So, it's quite nerve-wracking to
have them walking through the

front door.

Steph: So beautiful.

This is amazing.

♪ ♪

Hello.

Jonathan: Lovely to see you.

Steph: Lovely to see you.

Hello, good to meet you,
Michael.

Good to meet you, Michael.

Lovely.

Good journey?

Wonderful journey, absolutely.

You brought the weather with
you.

Thank you very much [chuckles].

Oh my gosh, the weather.

This place is amazing.

It's beautiful.

Oh my god, this place is
gorgeous.

Jonathan: Because the chateau's
south-facing, if the sun's out,

it's here all day, so your
guests can be outside on the

terrace and pretty much get the
sun all the time throughout your

event.

- Let's go in.
- Dave: All right.

- After you.
- OK, thank you.

Dick: The couple are considering
renting the entire chateau for a

week.

♪ ♪

Let me say that a week's rental
here is going to cost about

30,000 euros..

Dick: That's about £25,000.

This could be a lifesaver for
Jonathan and Michael's

struggling business, so they're
doing all they can to impress

these Americans.

Jonathan: This is the main
entrance hall which we would use

if it was inclement outside, and
you could have your--what the

French call a vin d'honneur in
here, which is a really nice

place to have it.

And your guests will get this
image right from the front door,

right the way through to the
pool, when the pool cover's off.

And the trees in the background
will be full of green.

You'll just get this great big
blanket of green at the back

there.

We've got circulating air.

We can change the air in here
eight times an hour, so nobody's

falling asleep during your
speeches [chuckles].

Dave: Yeah, yeah.

And this is the chapel.

- Oh!
- Wow, this is cool.

Steph: This is so cool.

Love it!

Stunning!

So, dancing in here is great
because--

Steph: Yes, yes.

--there's nobody above you--

- Dave: Yeah.
- Steph: Yes!

Jonathan:--to be disturbed by
the noise that goes on to the

early hours.

Steph: It will.

Jonathan: It's a little bit like
being an estate agent.

You show people around, but they
never like to insult you about

your house.

There must be many house owners
out there who think, "Oh yes,

they loved it, loved it.

They said they--they said they
thought the kitchen was

wonderful, and they thought--oh,
they loved the light in here."

And as soon as they get out,
they say, "Well, I wouldn't buy

that dump if you paid me."

And so, you can never believe
what people say when they come

around.

Dick: Fortunately, Jonathan has
a secret weapon.

Jonathan: We are very lucky to
have Janet, who's our wedding

planner, and she's now working
her magic.

She's got 12-years' experience
at this sort of thing.

This will be, if we get it, the
32nd wedding that she will have

done, so she knows her stuff.

We're very fortunate.

So come on, Janet, do it.

Do it for me [laughs].

Do it for us, do it for the
chateau.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Should we go back in and have a
look at the dining room?

- Sure.
- Yeah, absolutely.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: I just hope that the
answer's a big yes, and it

will--it will all help us to
stay here, not pack our bags and

go back to the U.K. and start
working 9:00 to 5:00 again.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: About 100 miles north,
chateau rookie Phil is finally

completing his budget trailer at
Chateau Bailleul.

Philip: Essentially, I had to
change plans halfway through.

I wanted sheet metal, couldn't
get it in time, so as always,

time takes precedence over
perfection.

[exhales]

♪ ♪

Dick: And time is running out.

As well as having to clear the
grounds before the summer season

starts, there's still an estate
agency business to run in

London.

Philip: Angelina is travelling
back from the U.K. at the

moment, because our lives are
between the two places still.

I actually told her on the phone
last night that it's already

finished, and I lied.

My friends say, "Oh, you're
living the chateau life," but

the reality is Angelina's gonna
have done 12 hours on the ferry,

2.5-hour drive from the ferry to
here.

And the second she gets here,
I'm going to make her clear up

with me.

Hello.

Look at that.

- You OK?
- Angelina: Mm.

Welcome home.

Ah, it looks great.

I love it.

Hang on--you just jump in and
break it, why don't you?

Angelina: Way too excited.

- Philip: No!
- [Angelina laughs]

♪ ♪

Dick: The trailer may have
passed the jumping up and down

test, but can it survive a fully
laden trip to the skip?

Angelina: Don't be Speedy
Gonzales in case it falls out.

I'm not.

This is our driveway; it's fine.

Luckily, the skip isn't far
away, in case it does fall

apart.

Philip: If it falls apart on the
way to the skip, I'm just

dragging it to the skip and
leaving it there.

It looks sturdy, to be fair.

I think you did a really, really
good job.

Oh, oh, that was shaking.

Dick: I'm impressed.

This once beaten-up caravan has
saved them over £2,500.

Although, Phil's now twigged how
he could have been even more

efficient.

♪ ♪

Now that's what I needed to
make.

I...

Dick: I don't know, he makes one
trailer, and he's already

thinking about branching out.

♪ ♪

Dick: Back in the south of
France, Johnny and Ashley have

been viewing a chateau to buy,
and they discovered it's got

termites.

It is what it is, and that's the
beauty of these places.

You never ever know what you're
gonna find, good or bad.

Dick: It's not the best news,
but they still have the rest of

the chateau to see, and there's
some things to be happy about.

Johnny: It looks like this has
been rewired at some point,

which is a thumbs-up for Johnny,
yeah.

So I think that will make Dick
happy.

Yeah, I get a pat on the back
from him, I think.

I might have to send him an
email, say, "We have a new roof;

we've got electricity done."

[laughs]

♪ ♪

Dick: He's got every right to be
smug because outside there's

even more reason to be happy.

Johnny: So what we got here
then?

Look, all of the heating here.

Johnny: Heating?

Dick: The whole gas central
heating system is brand new.

Just look at this brass work
here.

Look at how lovely that is.

I have no idea what it does--

[Ashley laughs]

--but it's screaming new, and
it's screaming expensive, right?

Oui?

Dick: That's about £50,000 worth
of kit.

Plus, it's got a solar hot water
system that could save them

hundreds of pounds a year.

- This is incredible, babe.
- Ashley: This is great.

- This really is.
- Ashley: Yeah.

Dick: It's a huge bonus.

But what gets Johnny really
excited is outbuildings.

What are they like?

♪ ♪

[Ashley gasps]

Oh, babe, wait till you see this
one.

- Oh wow!
- Ashley: Oh wow!

- [Johnny laughs]
- Ashley: Fabulous.

Johnny: Woo!

Oh!

Oh, babe, this is what we want,
right?

Ashley: I love this room.

Johnny: Oh, babe, this is huge.

Wow.

♪ ♪

Dick: 1,000 square metres of
outbuilding.

And best of all, it's already
been partially renovated,

including double-glaze windows
which could cost up to £2,000 a

piece in France.

I think I like this more than
the actual castle.

Johnny: This is mind-blowing.

This is amazing.

Johnny: As an artist, you can
never have enough space.

You know, at the moment, I'm
restricted to the scope of art I

can do--the volume of art and
also the size of art that I can

do.

So this--I mean, this is just a
dream for an artist.

♪ ♪

- Johnny: Wow.
- Ashley: That's amazing.

Johnny: That's crazy, right,
babe?

Ashley: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: I think it's safe to say
Johnny and Ashley have fallen

head over heels for this place.

The thing is though, it's--

I know, it's crazy because it is
way out of our budget, right?

- It is way over our budget.
- [both laugh]

I mean, what if we just--we
offer 450,000--

Yeah.

Ashley:--but we can't go higher.

- No.
- I mean--

- Johnny: OK.
- --we shouldn't.

We'll put an offer in for
450,000, and we'll see how we

go from there.

Yeah.

They can only say no, right?

It's true.

♪ ♪

Dick: 450,000 euros is almost
£410,000.

This offer is £90,000 over their
budget, £120,000 short of the

asking price.

- I'll call the owner.
- Johnny: Yeah.

Ashley: OK.

Can you try for us, s'il vous
plaît?

- Oui.
- Merci beaucoup.

- Merci.
- Ashley: Thank you.

[Alvy speaking French]

Johnny: And tell him that we are
wonderful people.

[laughter]

- Difficile.
- Difficile, oui.

- The price is very difficile.
- Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: All they can do now is
wait while estate agent Alvy

submits their bid to the owner.

We maybe shouldn't have looked
at a place that was way out of

our price range.

Yeah, we're just asking for
trouble.

But you never know, you never
know.

It's a long conversation.

- Is that a good thing?
- Probably not [chuckles].

♪ ♪

- Alvy: Bon, Ashley--
- Yes.

--very difficult, but the owner
will consider your offer.

Both: OK.

Please call me in four--three,
four days, OK?

Ashley: Three or four days, OK.

OK, oui, oui, difficile, yeah.

Thank you though.

Thank you.

- Voilà, Ashley, au revoir.
- Merci beaucoup.

Thank you so much.

♪ ♪

Dick: The offer is way below the
asking price.

Will it be accepted--

[chatter]

Dick:--or will they be laughed
out of town?

Let's wait and see.

- Four days, yeah.
- Ashley: Four days.

- We'll wait, fingers crossed.
- Johnny: I'm not sleeping.

[both laugh]

Come on.

Come on, bobo.

Let's go for a walk.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at Chateau de
Jalesnes, it's crunch time.

American couple Steph and Dave
are coming to the end of their

tour with wedding planner Janet.

Up there, we wanna have the
cocktail.

Now, whether we can eat up there
or not is a question.

Well, we can have a look when we
go--

Dick: They're on the cusp of
deciding whether to hold a

wedding and seven-day
celebration here.

♪ ♪

Janet: The wedding market in
France at the moment is very,

very competitive.

There are lots of chateaux and
private houses in the Loire

Valley and the rest of France
who offer similar services.

Well, you know, I'm--yeah, be
positive, be positive.

They will love it; they'll have
it; they'll take it; we will

have a week-long weeding.

It'll be a very special day.

You know, we--British
organization has renowned the

world over, and we're gonna do
them justice.

♪ ♪

Dick: The booking worth £25,000
would be a life-saving boost to

Jonathan and Michael's
struggling business.

Everything rests on this couple.

Will they, won't they?

♪ ♪

Oh, this is definitely the place
that we want to have our

wedding.

Absolutely.

Steph: With everything that's
here--the swimming pool, the

grounds, places for kids to
play, places for adults to

play--it's definitely the right
place.

It's been great.

It'll be really, really cool.

So, the next time we'll be here,
it will be for our wedding.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

They just said yes; they're
gonna take it.

No.

Really?

Full chateau rental for a week.

- The whole thing?
- Yeah.

[laughing]

Oh my god, brilliant.

Yes!

Well, it's what we need, isn't
it?

It's just the best!

And to what's been weeks of
pressure, to pull this off.

I cannot express to you how--the
pressure--the pressure.

It just builds and builds and
builds.

And sleepless nights.

Inside, we're shrieking.

Dick: Time to celebrate.

But Michael and Jonathan will be
put to the test organizing

everything over the coming days
and weeks.

This is the first full chateau
rental we've had not just this

year, it's the first one we've
ever had.

So to have 45 people is gonna
test us.

Now is the time for the real
work to start.

Everything that we've promised,
we've now got to deliver.

♪ ♪

[birds chirp and squawk]

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau Bailleul, for
Phil and Angelina, the work is

never done.

The grounds have been cleared,
but now they have another

project.

♪ ♪

Angelina: This is the first time
I've seen you in waders.

You look fabulous.

Something is wrong with you.

[both chuckle]

♪ ♪

Dick: They have the chance to
secure a second booking, a

wedding.

But there's one condition.

♪ ♪

They want to have a particularly
large marquee, and they want it

over there on this completely
wasted piece of land.

Dick: The problem is there's a
moat in the way.

We need to build a bridge so
people can go across.

Phil has never built a bridge
before.

It's sort of trial and error,
and we can't do the error part

in it, so hopefully Dick will
help him out with the

engineering side of things.

♪ ♪

Dick: Our
place--Chateau-de-la-Motte

Husson--is about 30 minutes away
from Phil and and Angelina, and

I've agreed to help them out.

I built my first bridge back in
the '70s, and I'm figuring they

haven't changed much since then.

Philip sent me some pictures.

First thing that strikes me is
that's quite a long way for a

bridge--a decent span.

It's a good challenge.

♪ ♪

Dick: But I'm going to need some
figures.

- Angelina: Oh, almost.
- Philip: Halfway across.

Angelina: Get in.

Dick: And Angelina's kindly
volunteered Phil to get them for

me.

Philip: Wait.

I hope he sinks in quite
deep--[laughs]--and then I'll

have to come and rescue you in a
moat.

Dick: Even though the moat seems
to be just up to his knees,

there are three centuries of mud
in there to consider.

[Philip grunts]

Philip: It's a metre and a half
of silt.

Angelina: Yes.

This is like profile picture.

[camera shutter clicks]

Dick: The width of the moat is
crucial to narrow down the type

of bridge we can build.

Philip: That's the edge of the
bank?

- Angelina: Yeah.
- Philip: It's eight metres.

Dick: I also need to know the
amount of traffic the bridge

will be taking.

Philip: I reckon we've got to
build a bridge designed to take

ten people a wedding, or a
lawnmower.

♪ ♪

Dick: When I said "traffic," I
didn't actually mean a 300-kilo

ride-on lawnmower.

As this is going to be a lot
bigger than the average DIY job,

I'd like to have a chat with
Phil before I head over there.

[computer dialing]

There you go.

How we doing, Philip?

- Philip: All right.
- [Dick laughs]

So you haven't got enough to do,
so you've decided to build a

bridge?

Yeah, you know, I've got so much
spare time, bridge is a great

idea.

Dick: I feel your pain
completely, mate.

Philip: The simple basic plan
was two long beams straight

across, planking across to walk
across.

[Dick chuckles]

OK, first thing's first, assume
there's a bridge coming toward

you now, yeah?

Philip: Yeah.

And people are actually all
leaning on one side.

Philip: Yes.

That twist in the bridge, that's
gonna be an issue.

Philip: Right.

The other thing is if you all
march in step--you go boom,

boom--left, right, left, right,
you get simple harmonic motion.

I don't know if you've seen some
of the big bridges where the

wind has caused it to rock, and
it rocks itself to pieces.

Philip: Yeah.

Very impressive, but very dodgy.

Are you sure you want a bridge
[laughs]?

[birds chirping]

Dick: With that amount of
weight, I think it's better if

we just make two smaller bridges
resting on an island in the

middle.

Have you ever heard of a clapper
bridge?

No.

Dick: "Clapper" is from old
Saxon for "stepping stones."

Put something in the middle,
give yourself an island, one

half meets in the middle, other
half meets in the middle.

That means you've got a 4-metre
expanse.

Philip: Yeah, yeah.

And actually, it helps me.

I've got all the granite from
the dry stone walls.

- No extra cost--
- Philip: Yeah, yeah.

--and makes your life easier.

I'm for a big DIY shop for
getting the necessary netting.

This isn't chicken wire; this is
the big netting.

That'll just hold the stones and
sink straight in.

I gotta tell you, I'm a bit
jealous.

Let me know when you're ready,
and I'll come and play.

- Cheers.
- Dick: Catch ya later, mate.

Brilliant.

[laughs]

If it was just him going across
it to cut the grass, easy.

When it comes down to guests and
lots of people, gotta

over-engineer it, so that
foundation in the middle, safer.

I'm looking forward to going and
seeing him.

In the meantime, Phil and
Angelina need to search the

chateau grounds for as much free
stuff as they can find.

Angelina: That's good, isn't it?

There's lots of it.

- That's for like fences?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want it to be--I want it to be
solid on its own, right.

Angelina: I think so, my dear.

- Oh!
- Philip: What?

This, look.

Look, what's this?

Philip: It's an old wheelbarrow.

Angelina: It's such an awesome
piece.

I think we should resurrect
that.

I'm rebuilding a bridge, and now
you want me to rebuild a

wheelbarrow.

At that some.

That'll be lovely.

Thank you.

Dick: It looks like they'll have
to cough up the cash for the

cage, but there is free granite.

Problem is it's 200 metres away
from the moat.

Angelina: Underneath all this
rubble?

Philip: Look.

Angelina: Oh my god, there's so
much of it.

How much will we need?

Like, how big will the box be?

- About five tonnes.
- I figured.

[Philip grunts]

Philip: This isn't as simple as
I thought.

It's just I don't have any idea
how I can get it to the other

side.

♪ ♪

Dick: If it's any help, I know
where there's on an old

wheelbarrow.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time:

I give Phil lessons in
bridge-building.

It's not quite a bridge yet.

It's a bit wobbly and it's a bit
bouncy.

You're looking a bit concerned,
Phil.

Jonathan and Michael's
frustrations rise when

entertaining friends at their
place.

--wants to have a big
breakfast.

You can't keep everybody else
waiting.

♪ ♪

Dick: And Johnny and Ashley
discover some of the quirks of

looking for your dream chateau.

Does he stay with the house?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪