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-[man] One...
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00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,381
[clears throat] two, three.
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00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:11,386
♪somber folk music♪
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00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,853
-Sorry.
5
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:17,095
-There you go.
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00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:27,272
[radio static]
7
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,526
-[radio host] Hey out
there, mister lonely.
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00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,987
This is Terry inside a park,
comin' at you with excellent
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00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,322
tunage!
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00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:38,825
And now let's cop some more
culture from Gardener's Corner.
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00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,411
It's Earl Gray, outdoor
columnist for The Suggester.
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00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,330
Earl!
13
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,414
-[Earl] Hi, everyone.
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00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,793
Welcome to Gardener's Corners,
brought to you by your friends
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00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:50,337
at Manure Hut.
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00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:54,549
Slurred or chipped, for fresh
fecal matter delivered to your
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00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,468
doorstep.
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00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,512
We're the ones responsible.
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00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,513
[phone rings]
20
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,597
-Oh!
21
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,557
There's our first call.
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00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,936
-[Betty] Hi, Earl, um, this
is Betty from Sharpsburg.
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00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,521
Um, yeah, I'm
calling about ways of--
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00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,398
-[Earl] Well, welcome, Betty.
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00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:12,109
-[Betty] Yeah, of
repelling deer from my garden.
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00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:16,196
Um, I have tomatoes and lettuce
and-- and it's getting worse.
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00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,489
It's a big problem.
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00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,573
Every day, it's worse.
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00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:19,491
-[yawns]
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00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:20,534
-[Betty] They're--
it's an invasion!
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00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,284
What--
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00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,285
-[Earl] Uh, well...
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00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,329
-[Betty] What can
be done about this, Earl?
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00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,331
-[Earl] What can be done?
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00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:31,211
Indeed, whatever must be done,
you may have to set a trap.
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00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,629
-[Terry] Trap me?
-[Betty] Mm-hm.
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00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,257
-[Earl] A trap that--
that will not kill, but maim.
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00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,550
-[Betty] Yeah.
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00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,970
-[Earl] The maimed deer
will spread his tail,
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00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:44,975
and the scent of his wounds will
warn the others to stay away.
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00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:47,602
This is my garden.
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00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,106
These are the
fruits of my sewing.
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00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,900
Do whatever necessary.
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00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:58,905
A running deer may lose the fear
of man altogether when unsated.
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00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:06,580
Beware these cloven messengers
of the hybrid knowledge.
46
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:07,914
[gunshots]
47
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:12,919
-[Earl] They are the
keepers of my crypt!
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00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:18,758
-[man] H-- have you
tried, uh, soap on a rope?
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00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,747
-[gasps]
50
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:54,586
-[groans in pain]
51
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,714
-Whoa!
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00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,966
Somebody drove me
right off the road there.
53
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,427
Did you see that?
54
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:05,013
Hey, are you, uh, hurt?
55
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:09,601
Or just surprised?
56
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:13,146
I think we better get ya
outta harm's way here.
57
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,983
Any nut could come by
and then hit ya again.
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00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,401
-[nun] [groans]
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00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,653
-Yeah, you know,
[chuckles] amazingly,
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00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,447
I-- I work for
the newspaper, and,
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00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,449
uh, you know, this is just the
kinda thing that would make a
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00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:28,578
really good story.
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00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:35,043
Stay here.
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00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:40,048
-[groans]
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00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,685
-[Gentian] Oh, good.
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00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,688
There's some iodine.
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00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,066
And some sterile gauze.
68
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,277
Oh, says "non-sterile."
69
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:03,363
Well, that'll just have to do.
70
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:07,117
A dime, so I can
call the hospital or..
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00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:10,120
police, maybe.
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00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,915
Okay.
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00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,295
I'm really sorry.
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00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,756
Let me see what I can do here.
75
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:25,218
A little dab of this, right...
76
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,886
that should be good.
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00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,055
-[groans]
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00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:34,060
♪eerie music♪
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00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:39,482
-[mutters]
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00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:51,536
-Oh!
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00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:58,084
-[woman on radio] Earl, how can
I preserve my roses through a
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00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,087
harsh winter?
83
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:06,092
Every spring, I face blight
and death as my delicate garden
84
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,762
grows barren.
85
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,847
-[Earl] You cut
them to the ground,
86
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:14,309
or persuade them over
into a prone position,
87
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:17,479
and this way, they can lay
dormant for the winter and--
88
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:19,814
-[Terry] That'll be
all, uh, that'll be it, Earl.
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00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:20,523
-[Earl] Um...
-[Terry] Thanks.
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00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,859
-[Earl] Okay, yes.
-[Terry] Thanks a lot.
91
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:26,571
-[Earl] [sighs] I'm sorry,
I-- I must have gotten lost.
92
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,782
-[Terry] Hey, no
harm-- no harm done, Earl.
93
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:33,161
Now let's get back to
some, uh, easy listlessness.
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00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:37,666
-[Victor] [hums to self]
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00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:42,671
Authorities remain clueless
in nun's macabre vanishing.
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00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,674
Yes.
97
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,051
-Now, Victor, could you try to
find me a nun picture for this
98
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,386
nun story?
99
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,179
-Uh, yes-- yes, Mr. Shampling.
100
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,806
-[Peabody] Call me Peabody.
101
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,808
-[Victor] Uh, uh, I'd
rather keep things formal,
102
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,309
thank you.
103
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,019
Excuse my old-fashioned respect.
104
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,271
I guess that respect has...
105
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,899
grown a little out of
fashion in the present.
106
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:03,858
Hello, Mr. Gray.
107
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,902
How are you?
108
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,155
-[deep breath] I am...
109
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,491
stupefied.
110
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,660
-[chuckles] I w-- I
wouldn't say that.
111
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,037
-[laughs] No need, no need.
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00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,081
The word is spoken.
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00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,708
Stupefied.
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00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,042
-[chuckles]
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00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:26,047
-And all I have as a
combatant is a scalding liquid,
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00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:32,178
a pastry, and my mortal wits.
117
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:36,933
[laughs]
118
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,570
-If we could get
the kids in here,
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00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,071
if we-- okay.
120
00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:51,114
All right!
121
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,784
Now, every newspaper must be
assembled from disparate parts.
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00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,077
[kids chatter and giggle]
123
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:59,873
-This is our paste up room, and
let me introduce Gentian Violet!
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00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,541
Layout genius.
125
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,587
Genny, why don't you tell
us a bit about the paste up?
126
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:06,880
-Oh, of course..
127
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,964
Salvador.
128
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,091
Here in paste up these...
129
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,052
disparate parts are
rallied together.
130
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,679
[kids chatter]
131
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,681
-[Gentian] And look, I can
see someone working now.
132
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,768
Victor here creates front
page layouts for sports and
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00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,102
atrocities.
134
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:21,978
-[little girl]
What's this thing?
135
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,062
It looks like a salt shaker.
136
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:27,817
-One must stay alert,
uh, in this business.
137
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:31,070
Victor is using a
coffee cup to stay alert.
138
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,157
[clears throat] This
is our image file.
139
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,534
If we're missing a
desired picture,
140
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:38,495
we find a
replacement--
141
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,662
[kids gasp]
142
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,164
-In the image file.
143
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,540
-Somebody beat you up?
144
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,541
[kids giggle]
145
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,250
-[Gentian] Um...
146
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,418
-[kid] Shut up!
147
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,337
-Uh, image file, um...
148
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,422
-Thank you, Miss Violet.
149
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,632
-[kid] When is
this gonna be over?
150
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:51,883
-And now, if we
could all gather.
151
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,176
Uh, you two in the
back especially, please.
152
00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:55,386
[chuckles] Thank you.
153
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,431
Let's leave the safe realm of
the fabricators and venture to
154
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,018
the printing mill, where these
pasted together facades become
155
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:06,189
indelible historical documents.
156
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:09,609
That whir you hear
through our facility...
157
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:12,904
Mind your hands.
158
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,406
It goes at 148
pounds per square inch.
159
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:18,952
I don't think a curious
finger stands a chance!
160
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:23,832
27 quarts of ink a day run
through these presses...
161
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,750
-[Terry] Let's do
some backsliding, friends.
162
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,711
It's 1967.
163
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:32,006
Where were you when this
song first melted your heart?
164
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,509
Let's go back...
165
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:39,055
way back, back into time,
"Back Into Time" by Little
166
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:41,724
Troglodytes.
167
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:46,729
[applause]
168
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,942
-[conductor] Aren't they lovely?
169
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:55,822
That was Mother Beatrice
with her singing angels.
170
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:59,784
I'm Earl Gray, and I'm happy
to see so few empty seats out
171
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,035
there.
172
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:04,873
For our annual Saint
Pamphilus variety show.
173
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:09,878
[coughs] And next up, we
will hear from Larry Blue,
174
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,717
doing a solo chorale.
175
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:19,095
And now with his
Irish eyes smiling,
176
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,847
here's Larry Blue!
177
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:25,852
[applause]
178
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:33,943
[audience chatter]
179
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:42,243
-[Larry] ♪Oh, Danny boy♪
180
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:47,248
♪The pipes, the
pipes are calling♪
181
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:52,420
♪From glen to glen and
down the mountain path♪
182
00:11:55,006 --> 00:12:00,011
♪The summer's gone, and
all the leaves are falling♪
183
00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:08,227
♪And it is you, tis
you who must go♪
184
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:12,357
♪And I must mind♪
185
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:17,362
♪But come ye back when all
the summer's in the meadow♪
186
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:25,620
♪Oh when the hills and
valls are hushed with snow♪
187
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,710
♪And I'll be here--♪
188
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:36,297
[voice cracks]
189
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:43,805
♪In
sunshine or in shadow♪
190
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:49,602
♪Oh, Danny boy, oh
Danny boy, I love you so♪
191
00:12:55,650 --> 00:13:00,655
♪foreboding
orchestral music♪
192
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:44,532
[thunder]
193
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:45,366
-[man] Wait!
194
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,995
Wait!
195
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:58,588
[thunder]
196
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,631
-Ow.
197
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:01,841
Ow!
198
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,009
Ow.
199
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,010
-Stop it.
200
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,178
Just stop it!
201
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,554
Let me tie this.
202
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,347
-You're trying to hang me.
203
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,557
Help me!
204
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,267
-Do you want to eat with us?
205
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,644
If you do, stop it now.
206
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,604
-[defeated murmur]
207
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,064
-Now!
208
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:19,734
-Okay.
209
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,821
-Delicious pork
chops, Miss Violet.
210
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,240
-Thank you, young man.
211
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,744
-Especially like the
spicing that you got on there.
212
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:30,995
-I didn't make them.
213
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,914
I'm retarded.
214
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,540
-It's shake and bake.
215
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,960
But when it gets to the
part where most people bake,
216
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,504
I opt for frying.
217
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,672
[chuckles]
218
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:45,718
-Well, okay, that's your trick.
219
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,261
-Are you singing tonight?
220
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,348
-We're planning to.
221
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,016
-That's nice.
222
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:55,311
You're going to sing
so beautiful tonight.
223
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,815
Some of the people will be
crying in their napkins.
224
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,359
[applause]
225
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:05,822
-The brokenhearted ones, staring
down at their soaking crotches.
226
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,824
-Mom, no body talk.
227
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,700
-I bet you've
had that happen--
228
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:13,371
-No, don't.
229
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:18,584
-Genny keeps her little muffin
clean with a vinegar wash.
230
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,669
-Okay, Mom.
231
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:20,711
That's enough.
232
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,880
Now you're gonna have
to eat in your room.
233
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,424
-Oh, okay.
234
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:30,429
I wonder what's on.
235
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,609
-There you go.
236
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:47,738
-Are you putting on a record?
237
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:03,004
♪whimsical piano music
plays from record player♪
238
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:05,798
-These are good beats.
239
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,717
-Where did the days go?
240
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:10,595
My goodness.
241
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,764
Genny, he's looking straight
through your clothes to your
242
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,766
naked torso.
243
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,978
-If I say anything, it'll
just aggravate the situation.
244
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,688
Let's just try to..
245
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,064
tune it out.
246
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,399
-Okay, sure.
247
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,151
-[Mother] He's sniffing
around for an opening.
248
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:30,156
[chuckles] An
opening of your legs.
249
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,160
[chuckles] Oh, I'm sorry.
250
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,077
I-- I'm sorry.
251
00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:36,746
I'll..
stop talking.
252
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,998
I should give you
a chance to talk.
253
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:44,003
I'm always talking about myself.
254
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:50,009
I just want you to tell
Victor what feels good.
255
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:53,095
Here's a tip, let him
take off your underpants.
256
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:58,100
It drives him nuts.
257
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,366
Genny!
258
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:18,371
Could you bring me
a cupcake, sweetie?
259
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:30,633
♪somber violin music♪
260
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,941
-Let's hear it for
The Shillelaghs.
261
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,776
Uh, our next act is..
262
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,361
let-- let me see,
The Langerhans!
263
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:53,531
Mixing homespun
originals with Celtic standards.
264
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,699
So as soon
as they're ready--
265
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:55,992
[musicians begin
tuning instruments]
266
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:56,951
-Uh, and now..
267
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:58,119
The Island of Langerhans.
268
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,121
Let's give 'em a hand!
269
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:03,541
[applause]
270
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:07,837
-[grumbles]
271
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,218
-Well that went fairly well.
272
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,761
-Yeah, fairly well.
273
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,471
I mean, not great...
274
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,598
not im-- impress an agent great.
275
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,642
You know, I mean hotshots from
Cleveland and Pittsburgh come
276
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:26,022
around these little towns and
look-- look for new talent.
277
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:28,899
I mean, I don't think
that our sound's there yet.
278
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:32,862
-Unless someone's
looking for a raw sound.
279
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,030
-Yeah, that's true.
280
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,073
I mean, that-- that could be
exactly what someone's looking
281
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,450
for.
282
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,785
I mean, we might want to, um--
283
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:43,039
-Push-- we could
push the raw aspect.
284
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,373
-Yeah.
285
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:48,878
-I mean, we're not trying
to hide behind slickness.
286
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:53,549
-I-- I have to go
to the lavatory.
287
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,331
-[Earl] Thank you, Terry.
288
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,042
It's good to be back.
289
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,419
And welcome to
Gardener's Corners.
290
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:34,173
I'm your host, Earl Gray.
291
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:38,302
And I hope you will
not be my parasite.
292
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,553
[laugh track plays]
293
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,806
-[Earl] Gardener's Corners is
brought to you today by Heimlich
294
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:45,726
extruded
intestinal casing products.
295
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,896
Whether emulated or
boiled, Heimlich's wieners,
296
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:52,441
brauts, and breakfast links
offer a distinctive lingering
297
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:57,446
flavor with every
delicious masticated segment.
298
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:02,535
Ask for them at Mother
Hubbard's grocery trains,
299
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:05,538
or at your local swine mongers.
300
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:10,543
Now, let's get to the phones.
301
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,382
Hello.
302
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,342
Are you there?
303
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,219
You-- You've reached
Gardener's Corners.
304
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,512
This is Earl.
305
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:22,763
-[little girl on
phone] Hi, Earl.
306
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:27,768
I wonder if bonfires are
still legal in this county.
307
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,688
And is ashes good fertilizer?
308
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,441
-[Earl] W-- Well I believe
that for municipal reasons,
309
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:38,320
the fire marshal's office
forbids the use of blatant
310
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,698
recreational blazes in the yard.
311
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:44,076
-[little girl on phone]
What's a rac-- onational blaze?
312
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:48,914
-[Earl] A recreational blaze,
as opposed to a crematory or
313
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,750
culinary inferno.
314
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:55,004
These, uh, exist
primarily for social amusement.
315
00:20:55,004 --> 00:21:00,009
These fires tend to be unruly
and frequented by lowly types,
316
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:04,430
loafers,
vagrants, and gypsies...
317
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:09,435
gypsies, tramps, and thieves
around a blazing oil drum do
318
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:16,692
sit, the flame in their hearts
as hot as the crackling embers
319
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,987
at their feet.
320
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,238
-[laughs]
321
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:23,949
-[Earl] These are the
partakers of lusts,
322
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:28,954
burning sabbath, as from lip to
lip a jug of distilled spirits
323
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:37,046
is raised in a gesture
of transubstantiation!
324
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:39,089
-[little girl on
phone] [giggles]
325
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,467
-[Earl] Is this a
vegetable or a personal matter?
326
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,343
-[little girl on
phone] Both, Earl.
327
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:43,761
Mm-hm.
328
00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:47,681
-[Earl] Ah, yes, I--
an amalgam of refuse.
329
00:21:47,681 --> 00:21:51,936
Flowers, letters I suspect.
330
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:56,941
I've hidden timid refuse fires
behind my house at odd hours.
331
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:02,613
The-- in the dead of
night, a smoldering,
332
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:07,618
nonaggressive flame can
burn unnoticed 'til dawn.
333
00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:13,624
And no, I don't suggest
using such ashes as fertilizer.
334
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:18,963
These bitter urns of charred
memories soak into the soil and
335
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:25,052
leave a blackened
taste on the lips,
336
00:22:25,052 --> 00:22:29,431
especially with
leafy greens and tubers.
337
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:32,518
-[sobs]
338
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:34,478
-[Earl] Heed me.
339
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,689
-[little girl on
phone] Oh, I will, Mr. Gray.
340
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:40,568
Mm-hm.
341
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:03,465
-[Earl] Hello.
342
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:11,015
[police siren]
343
00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:15,394
[gunshot]
344
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,897
-[clears throat]
H-- Hello, officer.
345
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:21,692
Uh, h-- how are
you this evening?
346
00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:24,194
-Better than you, my friend.
347
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:26,196
-Point well taken.
348
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:28,824
Uh, so-- so, how can I
help you this evening?
349
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:33,245
-Can I see your license, please?
350
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:38,250
Thank you, sir.
351
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:44,131
-[mutters]
352
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:04,234
[shudders]
353
00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:05,027
-[Father] Victor!
354
00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,196
Lyd-- Lydia!
355
00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:08,697
Victor!
356
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:09,615
Oh, God!
357
00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:13,077
[screams]
358
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:14,036
Victor!
359
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:15,162
Lydia!
360
00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:18,332
If you kids are hurt
I'm gonna kill myself!
361
00:24:18,332 --> 00:24:23,337
[sobs]
362
00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:26,965
If you're dead
I'm gonna kill myself!
363
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:29,802
Ow!
364
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:32,971
Oh God!
365
00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:37,142
Holy mother of God!
366
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:42,147
[sobs]
367
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,777
-I'm gonna have to ask you
to step out of your vehicle,
368
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,946
sir.
369
00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:51,865
-Uh, oh.
370
00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:52,991
Okay.
371
00:24:52,991 --> 00:24:57,996
[clears] Uh, alright.
372
00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:03,460
-[sobs]
373
00:25:03,460 --> 00:25:06,588
-Is-- is-- is there
some sort of problem?
374
00:25:06,588 --> 00:25:08,716
-Are you aware that you're
driving a stolen vehicle?
375
00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:13,721
-Wh-- wh-- n-- n-- no, my--
my father gave me this--
376
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,183
-Uh, would you please put your
hands on the vehicle and spread
377
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,601
your legs apart?
378
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:20,894
-Am I being arrested?
379
00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:23,605
-Dispatcher told us that she has
this truck on her stolen vehicle
380
00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:25,232
list.
381
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:30,237
-[gasps] Uh, oh, oh, [clears
throat] you know-- you know why
382
00:25:32,906 --> 00:25:34,825
that is, I, um,
my-- my father, Larry,
383
00:25:34,825 --> 00:25:38,245
he g-- he gave me the
truck, um, when he died,
384
00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:39,872
but my [clears
throat] my mother,
385
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,790
she doesn't know this.
386
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,001
And she goes, she
reports it stolen.
387
00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:46,295
And I never
really cleared it up.
388
00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:47,921
Um, '56 Ford.
389
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:50,591
It's a, uh, you can see,
it's got the original cushions.
390
00:25:50,591 --> 00:25:52,885
-[officer] Maybe you can try to
clear that up at the station,
391
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:54,511
'cause you're gonna
have to come with me.
392
00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:57,598
-[gasps] But why?
393
00:25:57,598 --> 00:25:59,057
[mumbles] I can't believe...
394
00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:00,517
-Because you're very drunk.
395
00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:04,855
-Uh, [sighs] uh,
uh, officer, look,
396
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:09,860
I may be drunk, but I--
I am not "very drunk."
397
00:26:10,152 --> 00:26:11,737
I mean, I've seen
a lot of people,
398
00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:15,532
including my-- my father, Larry,
m-- much drunker than I am right
399
00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:19,286
now.
400
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:28,295
-[sobs]
401
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,714
Oh!
402
00:26:30,714 --> 00:26:34,551
[slurring words] And all I
wanted was just a little treat!
403
00:26:34,551 --> 00:26:39,348
Just a little-- just, oh
God, just a little drink!
404
00:26:39,348 --> 00:26:41,266
Just...
405
00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:46,271
[sobs]
406
00:26:53,070 --> 00:26:55,405
-[Mrs Gray] [chuckles] And
sometimes we're driving up the
407
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:59,493
drive in the summer, and the--
the ground is soaking with dead
408
00:26:59,493 --> 00:27:00,577
frogs.
409
00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:01,620
-[man] [laughs]
410
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:03,413
-[Mrs Gray] Or-- or six
or seven deer at night.
411
00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:04,331
-Oh, wow.
412
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:05,749
-Well, I'd-- I'd
better check my tires.
413
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,042
[all chuckle]
414
00:27:07,042 --> 00:27:08,001
-Yeah, forget about it.
415
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:10,087
F-- forget about
it in the winter.
416
00:27:10,087 --> 00:27:14,091
The-- people are found
frozen in their driveways,
417
00:27:14,091 --> 00:27:17,678
their faces in a-- in a
petrified state of terror.
418
00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:19,555
-[woman] [chuckles]
419
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:21,557
-[man] All right
then, uh, let me begin,
420
00:27:21,557 --> 00:27:24,268
uh, by saying that we're
very grateful that you have
421
00:27:24,268 --> 00:27:26,645
volunteered for our
families in crisis program.
422
00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:27,688
-[man] Oh, it's my pleasure.
423
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:29,273
-[Mrs Gray] Oh,
we're-- we're happy to.
424
00:27:29,273 --> 00:27:30,691
-[man] And I would like to
tell you a bit about the family
425
00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:31,984
you'll be helping.
426
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:36,029
Uh, the Blues, a local
family that lives--
427
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,698
-[Earl] The Blues?
428
00:27:37,698 --> 00:27:38,699
-Yeah.
429
00:27:38,699 --> 00:27:39,449
-[Earl] The Blues?
430
00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:40,784
You mean the Blues up the road?
431
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:41,577
-[man] Oh, yeah.
432
00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:42,703
Yes.
433
00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:43,829
-Oh, well I-- well I'll be.
434
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:44,872
Imagine that.
435
00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:45,914
[chuckles]
436
00:27:45,914 --> 00:27:47,541
-Yes, they-- they
do live nearby.
437
00:27:47,541 --> 00:27:49,042
Uh, do you-- do you know them?
438
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,003
-[Earl] Uh...
439
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,505
-I mean-- I mean personally, do
you have any interactions with
440
00:27:53,505 --> 00:27:55,048
them?
441
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:56,592
-Uh, not really.
442
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:59,303
Um, well, we know--
we know who they are,
443
00:27:59,303 --> 00:28:01,972
um, the family in the trailer.
444
00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:03,682
-[Earl] We know
them to say hello.
445
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:08,687
The father sings at, uh,
some parish functions.
446
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:14,151
-I-- I-- I'd always thought
something just wasn't right.
447
00:28:14,151 --> 00:28:16,111
-[man] Sounds just a
casual acquaintance.
448
00:28:16,111 --> 00:28:18,947
-[woman] But you-- you
don't know them personally?
449
00:28:18,947 --> 00:28:23,952
-[Earl] Well, not personally.
450
00:28:25,287 --> 00:28:29,124
-Okay, uh, let me tell
you about the children.
451
00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:32,127
Uh, you will be
caring for a little boy,
452
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:35,047
age two, and a
little girl, age six.
453
00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:36,340
-[Earl] Uh-huh.
454
00:28:36,340 --> 00:28:38,884
-[woman] Uh, their
names are Lydia and Victor.
455
00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:41,678
And we've been working with
the family for a number of years
456
00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:46,683
now.
457
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:52,731
-[Mrs Gray] Oh, oh,
the-- the poor dears.
458
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:53,982
-Mama.
459
00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:57,027
-Um, there's nothing,
uh, w-- wrong with them,
460
00:28:57,027 --> 00:28:59,196
uh, mentally?
461
00:28:59,196 --> 00:29:00,989
Um, because I'm-- I'm not sure
if I'd be comfortable with--
462
00:29:00,989 --> 00:29:02,032
-[Earl] Yes, uh--
463
00:29:02,032 --> 00:29:03,325
-[woman] Oh, oh, oh, no, no.
464
00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,410
They're actually
surprisingly balanced,
465
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,287
um, considering their situation.
466
00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:08,622
-[Earl] Oh.
467
00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:12,167
-[woman] The only problem area
might be with hygiene habits.
468
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:16,380
[train whistle]
469
00:29:16,380 --> 00:29:19,841
-[Earl] Gardner's Corners is
partially supported by prayers
470
00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:24,554
of the sisters of the Holy Order
of the Evacuated Sepulcher,
471
00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:27,516
housed in the Holy
Angels compound.
472
00:29:27,516 --> 00:29:30,477
Holy Angels is more
than just a nunnery.
473
00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:33,146
It's three services in one.
474
00:29:33,146 --> 00:29:36,566
It's a-- it's a first
class house of worship,
475
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:40,362
an historic
provinciate for developing nuns,
476
00:29:40,362 --> 00:29:42,781
and an insane asylum.
477
00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:45,325
For Sunday worship
at seven and nine,
478
00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:49,037
commitment of the
senile or schizophrenic,
479
00:29:49,037 --> 00:29:51,915
or for a group chapel tour.
480
00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:56,920
Tell them Earl sent you,
for no apparent reason.
481
00:29:57,671 --> 00:30:01,466
Now, Mother Beatrice Elastica.
482
00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:04,553
-[Beatrice] The dreams of a
young girl are often adorned
483
00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:07,472
with ballet shoes
and sequined gowns.
484
00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:11,184
But there was a time when a dark
shroud and a starched bodice
485
00:30:11,184 --> 00:30:14,521
were the costume choices
while playing dress up.
486
00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:18,984
Saint Clair, Saint Teresa, or
Saint Catherine Laboure were
487
00:30:18,984 --> 00:30:22,446
the names on the
lips of dreaming girls.
488
00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:27,242
That time has now returned,
and Holy Angels is answering the
489
00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:28,952
call.
490
00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:33,040
The Holy Order of the Evacuated
Sepulcher is now accepting
491
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:37,335
novitiates to become
the nuns of the future.
492
00:30:37,335 --> 00:30:42,299
Come up to Holy Angels and see
if monastic life is your next
493
00:30:42,299 --> 00:30:44,342
career move.
494
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:47,721
Unknown women preferred.
495
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:51,641
This is Mother Beatrice
Elastica bidding you grace.
496
00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:55,645
-Beautiful.
497
00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:57,689
-[photographer] And...
498
00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:59,816
-[Peabody] Bitter cold
conditions gripped much of the
499
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:03,737
lower 50 states this weekend,
bringing ice and frozen bodies
500
00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:05,781
all about.
501
00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:09,659
People walked around, some
weeping at opportunities
502
00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:11,828
squandered.
503
00:31:11,828 --> 00:31:15,665
And cold vixens guarded
their little foxy pups,
504
00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:18,085
for fear of seeming vulnerable.
505
00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:19,711
-[chuckles] Whatever
that's supposed to mean.
506
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:21,004
I-- you're right.
That's terrible.
507
00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:22,297
[chuckles
nervously] You're right.
508
00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:23,548
-[Peabody] Victor.
-Yeah?
509
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,842
-[Peabody] You've put me
in a very awkward position.
510
00:31:25,842 --> 00:31:29,054
-Well-- Well, journalism
can be an awkward business.
511
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:30,555
-Yes it can.
512
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:33,934
Yes it can, especially when
I have to contend with this.
513
00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:36,311
This is from Earl's column.
514
00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:38,814
Okay, let's see now, Earl's
article deals with bushes as a
515
00:31:38,814 --> 00:31:39,940
privacy blind.
516
00:31:39,940 --> 00:31:40,941
-[Victor] Mm-hm.
517
00:31:40,941 --> 00:31:42,150
-[Peabody] And, uh,
this is, I understand,
518
00:31:42,150 --> 00:31:43,693
your photo selection.
519
00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:45,028
-[Victor] Ah yes, that's
just-- just from this week,
520
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:45,862
I think.
521
00:31:45,862 --> 00:31:48,448
I-- I just retrieved
that from the image file.
522
00:31:48,448 --> 00:31:49,574
Compositionally--
523
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,409
-[Peabody] This
is a crime photo.
524
00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:52,619
-[Victor] Mm-hm.
525
00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:54,538
-[Peabody] And a well-known one.
526
00:31:54,538 --> 00:31:57,499
This is the dead
of Calvin Reams.
527
00:31:57,499 --> 00:31:58,542
-Yes, I--
528
00:31:58,542 --> 00:32:01,128
-This picture is
about murder and death.
529
00:32:01,128 --> 00:32:02,587
-And-- and isn't--
530
00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:05,006
-And it is a gross
error on your part.
531
00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:07,467
-And isn't-- isn't
death, Mr. Shampling,
532
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:11,888
isn't death the-- the
ultimate privacy blind?
533
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:12,806
-[Peabody] Oh, Victor...
534
00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:14,182
-I mean, no m-- no
matter how public, it--
535
00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:16,017
-[Peabody] Victor...
-It's a private moment.
536
00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:17,811
It is tricky, isn't it.
I mean, perhaps--
537
00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:20,105
-You have to be
more responsible.
538
00:32:20,105 --> 00:32:22,774
-[Victor] I c-- it w-- this
was a risky j-- judgment call,
539
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,484
on my part.
540
00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:27,404
And, um, I shall..
541
00:32:27,404 --> 00:32:30,740
I mean, I think we've
reached a-- an understanding,
542
00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,409
my friend.
543
00:32:32,409 --> 00:32:34,035
Um, and I-- I
don't use that word,
544
00:32:34,035 --> 00:32:35,537
"friend," lightly.
545
00:32:35,537 --> 00:32:36,830
-Well now, Victor,
that's not the issue.
546
00:32:36,830 --> 00:32:38,999
-I-- I reserve such
phrases sparingly,
547
00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:42,794
Mr. Shampling.
548
00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:45,964
-[Peabody] Genny?
549
00:32:45,964 --> 00:32:49,259
Let's see, make those
prospects for the stained glass.
550
00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:53,221
And, um, get some nuns
feeding chickens or singing.
551
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:54,055
-Morning, Genny.
552
00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:55,056
How are you?
553
00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:57,642
-Well, I feel a
little like Quasimodo.
554
00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:58,560
-Really?
555
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,061
What's-- why is that?
556
00:33:00,061 --> 00:33:02,606
-Because I think I
got a hunch, Vic.
557
00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:05,984
That's why, a big bump someone's
trying to cover over with a bad
558
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,360
patch job.
559
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,988
-Oh, the donuts
are all gone again.
560
00:33:09,988 --> 00:33:12,365
-Here, take these.
561
00:33:12,365 --> 00:33:14,534
Hope you like 'em hard boiled.
562
00:33:14,534 --> 00:33:16,286
-[Victors]
[clears throat] Thanks.
563
00:33:16,286 --> 00:33:18,246
-[Genny] I gotta go
on an egg hunt anyway.
564
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:21,875
Goin' up to Holy Angels,
lookin' for some bad ones.
565
00:33:21,875 --> 00:33:23,084
-[Victor] Oh yeah?
566
00:33:23,084 --> 00:33:24,502
I have to-- I have
to go to license--
567
00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:26,338
-[Genny] No, they like
their nuns over easy,
568
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:30,800
but it looks like a
couple came out scrambled.
569
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,261
[gunshot]
570
00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:39,309
[gunshot]
571
00:33:39,309 --> 00:33:40,227
-You're a fine shot.
572
00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:41,353
[gunshot]
573
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:44,689
-Yes, an odd gift.
574
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:46,691
[gunshot]
575
00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:49,277
-My name's Gentian Violet.
576
00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:52,697
I'm from the paper,
paste up primarily.
577
00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:54,366
My employee ID.
578
00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:55,492
-Hm, very nice.
579
00:33:55,492 --> 00:33:56,743
[gunshot]
580
00:33:56,743 --> 00:34:00,205
-I'm here in search
of Mother Superior,
581
00:34:00,205 --> 00:34:04,668
Beatrice Elastica.
582
00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:07,212
-Hello, could I speak with
someone [clears throat] in the
583
00:34:07,212 --> 00:34:11,049
offices of motor v-- vehicles?
584
00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:16,054
Yes, is this-- is this the
office of-- of motor vehicles?
585
00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:18,640
Yeah, um, yeah
[clears throat] um,
586
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,767
well-- well here's my problem,
I'm-- I'm a driver of a-- of a
587
00:34:20,767 --> 00:34:22,519
truck that was
given to me as a gift,
588
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:26,022
um, from my father,
um, who is deceased.
589
00:34:26,022 --> 00:34:28,525
And I'd like to transfer, uh,
the title to-- to my actual
590
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:31,736
name.
591
00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:36,533
Mm-hm, yes.
592
00:34:36,533 --> 00:34:38,702
Well see, I-- [clears
throat] he was formerly,
593
00:34:38,702 --> 00:34:42,289
um, a missing person, so I'm
not sure if there's an actual,
594
00:34:42,289 --> 00:34:44,499
uh, death certificate per se.
595
00:34:44,499 --> 00:34:46,668
-[sneezes]
596
00:34:46,668 --> 00:34:48,211
-[Victor] Mm-hm.
597
00:34:48,211 --> 00:34:51,256
Well does-- doesn't he then
become-- become presumed dead?
598
00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:54,467
-[sneezes]
599
00:34:58,305 --> 00:35:02,183
-So, Miss Violet, is
photography your hobby?
600
00:35:02,183 --> 00:35:06,438
-Mrs Superior, though
photojournalism is a craft,
601
00:35:06,438 --> 00:35:08,356
I'd hardly call it a hobby.
602
00:35:08,356 --> 00:35:13,361
-I only meant that it's not your
primary position at the paper.
603
00:35:13,987 --> 00:35:17,198
It's not where your
employers vest their trust.
604
00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:19,284
-Well, they've asked
me to do this today,
605
00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:22,078
and I feel I'm right
for the challenge.
606
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:26,333
-Well, Miss Violet, I'm only
saying that if things don't work
607
00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:31,296
out with your photo career, that
the modern nun leads an exciting
608
00:35:31,296 --> 00:35:33,465
life.
609
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:38,470
-[Genny] Well I'll
definitely keep that in mind.
610
00:35:56,363 --> 00:36:01,368
-Knuckle of Saint
Sylvia the Latter.
611
00:36:01,493 --> 00:36:05,705
For a shine you can depend
on, you can count on coagulant
612
00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:09,417
linoleum tiles.
613
00:36:09,417 --> 00:36:12,128
-Yeah, I hadn't
really noticed them,
614
00:36:12,128 --> 00:36:17,092
but thanks for
pointing that out.
615
00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:19,761
-It's an arrangement with
companies involved in our
616
00:36:19,761 --> 00:36:22,138
restoration project.
617
00:36:22,138 --> 00:36:26,810
We reiterate a slogan when
we give tours of the chapel.
618
00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:30,230
-It's very honest of
you to actually do that.
619
00:36:30,230 --> 00:36:33,108
-[Mother Superior] Yes.
620
00:36:33,108 --> 00:36:36,111
-Just one more thing, would you
mind if I took some pictures in
621
00:36:36,111 --> 00:36:39,239
the sanitarium?
622
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:43,701
-I'm sorry, Miss Violet, but
the sanitarium is for patients,
623
00:36:43,701 --> 00:36:46,788
family, and staff.
624
00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:50,792
Why search out the frailty of
people when here you have the
625
00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:53,545
grace of God.
626
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:54,546
-That's a..
627
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:55,922
valid point.
628
00:36:55,922 --> 00:36:58,091
Thank you for the tour.
629
00:36:58,091 --> 00:37:01,511
-The pleasure, I
assure you, was mine.
630
00:37:01,511 --> 00:37:06,516
[snaps photo]
631
00:37:14,023 --> 00:37:15,817
-[clears throat] Well see, I--
he was formerly a-- a missing
632
00:37:15,817 --> 00:37:18,611
person, so I'm not sure
if there's an actual,
633
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:23,491
uh, death certificate, per se.
634
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:26,411
B-- but would he
then be considered,
635
00:37:26,411 --> 00:37:30,874
uh, common law dead?
636
00:37:30,874 --> 00:37:32,917
Okay, I'll-- I'll get this.
637
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:36,796
This is a county coroner?
638
00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:40,675
Okay, well thank you--
thank you very much.
639
00:37:42,677 --> 00:37:47,682
[clears throat]
640
00:37:56,566 --> 00:38:00,653
[muttering]
Somebody hit him...
641
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:22,342
-[sobs]
642
00:38:32,227 --> 00:38:34,521
-[Victor]
[muttering] "Has a stab,"
643
00:38:34,521 --> 00:38:36,314
"no film."..
644
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:41,319
"I drew this picture
because I didn't have film...
645
00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:47,033
I used to be an
artist when I was young,
646
00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:49,577
so I drew this.
647
00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:54,582
It's pretty good."
648
00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:06,594
How cheap are these?
649
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,520
-St-- stay-- stay out
there for a little bit.
650
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,691
I, um, I just wanted to-- I know
there's some photographs of-- of
651
00:39:19,691 --> 00:39:20,942
my dad.
652
00:39:20,942 --> 00:39:23,611
And they're in, uh, there's
a box that's called "1000
653
00:39:23,611 --> 00:39:25,363
soldiers," I remember.
654
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:27,740
It's a green pasteboard box.
655
00:39:27,740 --> 00:39:28,992
Can't seem to find it.
656
00:39:28,992 --> 00:39:30,243
Perfectly good typewriter.
657
00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:31,411
Can you believe that?
658
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:36,416
What kind of luck--
659
00:39:39,877 --> 00:39:44,173
-[Earl VO] Gardener's Corners is
brought to you today by United
660
00:39:44,173 --> 00:39:48,803
Manacle and Strap, providing
gentle bondage products for
661
00:39:48,803 --> 00:39:53,224
domestic and institutional
human restraint leads.
662
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:55,977
Whether it's our
padded shackles,
663
00:39:55,977 --> 00:40:00,773
muzzles, or straight jerseys,
you can count on United to
664
00:40:00,773 --> 00:40:05,778
prevent injury or escape
of those in your care.
665
00:40:07,697 --> 00:40:12,702
♪melancholy folk music♪
666
00:40:38,269 --> 00:40:40,980
-Hello, fellow patriots.
667
00:40:40,980 --> 00:40:43,983
Hello out there,
fellow patriots.
668
00:40:43,983 --> 00:40:46,778
Welcome, brethren, sisteren.
669
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:50,865
Well, I hope you enjoy it.
670
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:53,910
[cheerier] I-- I
hope you enjoy it.
671
00:40:53,910 --> 00:40:58,122
[flushes toilet] I
hope you enjoy it.
672
00:40:58,122 --> 00:41:03,127
♪melancholy folk music♪
673
00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:39,330
♪discordant piano playing♪
674
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:47,380
-And now the strange
and mysterious quartet,
675
00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:52,385
The Hooded Crooner and
his Hooded Croonerettes.
676
00:41:52,844 --> 00:41:56,347
[audience murmurs]
677
00:41:56,347 --> 00:42:01,352
-♪somber singing♪
678
00:42:21,164 --> 00:42:24,333
[dog barks]
679
00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:47,106
[dog barks]
680
00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:09,045
-[imumbles]
681
00:43:09,045 --> 00:43:10,630
-Yep.
682
00:43:10,630 --> 00:43:14,801
Yes.
683
00:43:18,387 --> 00:43:23,392
[dog barks]
684
00:44:30,167 --> 00:44:35,172
-[grumbles]
685
00:44:37,258 --> 00:44:41,512
[slurred]
Nothin' to see here, bud.
686
00:44:42,138 --> 00:44:44,432
Sucker punch.
687
00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:48,728
Sucker punch.
688
00:45:00,865 --> 00:45:02,283
-[Earl] Hello?
689
00:45:02,283 --> 00:45:07,288
Y-- yes, uh, I'd like
to report a disturbance.
690
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,544
Yes, if you-- if you
could send a car around to,
691
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:16,672
uh...
692
00:45:16,672 --> 00:45:21,260
No, no, just-- just
doing my duty as a citizen.
693
00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:22,428
Thank you.
694
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:23,763
Yeah.
695
00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:25,598
[police sirens approach]
696
00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:26,557
-[man] Get the
hell off my property!
697
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:27,391
-[officer 1] Sir!
698
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:29,644
Sir, please!
Put the pitchfork down, sir!
699
00:45:29,644 --> 00:45:31,020
-[officer 2] Sir, put it down.
700
00:45:31,020 --> 00:45:31,979
-[man] You get away!
701
00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:33,439
You get away now!
This is private property!
702
00:45:33,439 --> 00:45:34,523
-[officer 1] Put
the weapon down!
703
00:45:34,523 --> 00:45:35,358
-[man] You get
away from my family!
704
00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:36,150
-[officer 2] Relax!
705
00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:37,401
-[officer] We do
not want to hurt you!
706
00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:38,402
-[officer 2]
Nobody's going to get hurt.
707
00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:41,530
-[officer 1] Nobody is
going to hurt your family!
708
00:45:41,530 --> 00:45:43,157
-[offcier 2] Sir,
just put it down.
709
00:45:43,157 --> 00:45:45,701
[sounds of struggle]
710
00:45:45,701 --> 00:45:46,661
-[man] No!
711
00:45:46,661 --> 00:45:47,370
Okay, I give up!
712
00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:48,621
I give up!
I'm sorry!
713
00:45:48,621 --> 00:45:50,164
[sobbing] I won't do it anymore.
714
00:45:50,164 --> 00:45:52,416
I won't drink anymore!
715
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:57,088
Where did you people come from?!
716
00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:59,674
-[Earl VO] Where, indeed.
717
00:45:59,674 --> 00:46:03,386
Hello, this is
Gardener's Corners.
718
00:46:03,386 --> 00:46:05,137
This is Earl.
719
00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:06,597
-[person on phone] [giggles]
[in falsetto] Hi, Earl.
720
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,099
My name is Pussy Galore.
721
00:46:08,099 --> 00:46:11,727
-[laughs] Hello, Pussy.
722
00:46:11,727 --> 00:46:13,521
-[person on phone] I was
wondering if you're single,
723
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:17,483
because-- and I think you
have a really sexy voice.
724
00:46:17,483 --> 00:46:21,112
-[laughs] Well,
thank you, Miss Galore.
725
00:46:21,112 --> 00:46:24,490
I-- I do fancy myself
a romantic baritone,
726
00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:25,533
but--
727
00:46:25,533 --> 00:46:27,118
-[person on phone] [laughs] Oh,
I want you to make love to me!
728
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:30,287
[kids laugh]
729
00:46:30,287 --> 00:46:33,791
-[chuckles] I-- I
don't want you.
730
00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:38,796
To be true, I just
want to make love to you.
731
00:46:39,422 --> 00:46:43,050
No need to panic,
listeners, a childish prank.
732
00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:48,055
Perhaps, one might
say, a rite of passage.
733
00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:53,019
Nervous geeks on
the cusp of puberty,
734
00:46:53,019 --> 00:46:57,273
huddled around you on
the basement extension.
735
00:46:57,273 --> 00:47:02,278
Listening in, vicariously
leeching off your tiny crime.
736
00:47:03,029 --> 00:47:06,824
A chuckle, a gasp.
737
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:10,953
Even in the garden, you might
commit yourself to some tiny
738
00:47:10,953 --> 00:47:13,581
crime.
739
00:47:13,581 --> 00:47:18,586
[laughs] I, as inquisitor, am
sure in the heat of passion,
740
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:23,340
have, uh, drawn and
quartered a grasshopper,
741
00:47:23,340 --> 00:47:27,553
or hurled a malicious
stone towards a ball molesting
742
00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:30,139
squirrel.
743
00:47:30,139 --> 00:47:33,434
I count these among
my tiny trespasses.
744
00:47:33,434 --> 00:47:35,603
Don't you?
745
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:40,608
For they pale in the eye of
my crimes against humanity.
746
00:47:41,692 --> 00:47:46,697
And yes, I am indeed
single, Miss Galore,
747
00:47:47,323 --> 00:47:52,328
or find myself now alone.
748
00:47:52,536 --> 00:47:55,915
For I was married
in a former life,
749
00:47:55,915 --> 00:47:59,085
but I was not
content in my garden.
750
00:47:59,085 --> 00:48:02,254
I wished for forbidden fruit.
751
00:48:02,254 --> 00:48:06,217
But the snake in my garden
wriggled not in the grass,
752
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:09,553
but up my pant leg.
753
00:48:09,553 --> 00:48:13,808
I've been bitten.
754
00:48:13,808 --> 00:48:17,311
Suck the poison...out!
755
00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:19,939
Out!
Out of here!
756
00:48:19,939 --> 00:48:22,108
[voice echoes]
757
00:48:22,108 --> 00:48:25,402
[dog barks]
758
00:48:25,402 --> 00:48:28,948
[man grunts]
759
00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:42,044
-[Earl VO] My feeling is,
if you see a clipping in a
760
00:48:42,044 --> 00:48:46,507
conservatory, by
all means, pocket it.
761
00:48:46,507 --> 00:48:51,345
Should you leave it
there to shrivel and die,
762
00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:56,350
unappreciated by its
apathetic caretaker,
763
00:48:57,226 --> 00:49:01,397
or if it strikes your
head as you walk by,
764
00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:06,110
take out your shares.
765
00:49:06,110 --> 00:49:11,115
A rare tropical blossom
swings easily in your reach,
766
00:49:12,575 --> 00:49:17,580
bending over you, tying a shoe,
exposing its laced cleavage,
767
00:49:19,999 --> 00:49:25,004
perhaps brushing her
hair against your face.
768
00:49:26,005 --> 00:49:31,010
You smiled as you
pass by on your way out,
769
00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:34,805
leaving so soon.
770
00:49:34,805 --> 00:49:39,810
Ah, but the transplant, that
is where the difficulty lies.
771
00:49:40,102 --> 00:49:42,563
How to nourish?
772
00:49:42,563 --> 00:49:45,482
Many use a rooting hormone.
773
00:49:45,482 --> 00:49:48,485
But I consider this cheating.
774
00:49:48,485 --> 00:49:53,490
[laughs] Ironic that a liar
and a cheat feels above cheating
775
00:49:55,242 --> 00:49:57,995
with root growth.
776
00:49:57,995 --> 00:50:00,247
What do you think?
777
00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:02,291
Hello, caller?
778
00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:04,710
[voice echoes] Are
you still with me?
779
00:50:04,710 --> 00:50:09,340
[voice echoes]
780
00:50:27,942 --> 00:50:30,653
-[Mother] How was work, Genny?
781
00:50:30,653 --> 00:50:33,405
Genny, how was work?
782
00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:34,698
-[Gentian] Oh, pretty good.
783
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,992
It looks like they're gonna
use some of my pictures for an
784
00:50:36,992 --> 00:50:40,079
article on Holy Angels.
785
00:50:40,079 --> 00:50:42,164
-[Mother] I bet you'd
like to see me up there.
786
00:50:42,164 --> 00:50:44,625
-[Gentian] Do you want
toast or potato chips?
787
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:46,293
-[Mother] Chips, please.
788
00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:48,587
Having me up there would make
life a little easier for you,
789
00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:52,007
wouldn't it?
790
00:50:52,007 --> 00:50:53,425
What do you think?
791
00:50:53,425 --> 00:50:56,887
Wouldn't it?
792
00:50:56,887 --> 00:50:59,223
-In some ways, yes.
793
00:50:59,223 --> 00:51:04,228
-Hm.
794
00:51:04,270 --> 00:51:07,731
Or if I could die of
cancer, or kill myself.
795
00:51:07,731 --> 00:51:09,817
-Let's not talk
about that, all right?
796
00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:14,822
-Okay, I'll change the subject.
797
00:51:15,155 --> 00:51:19,159
Genny, are you
having your period?
798
00:51:19,159 --> 00:51:22,663
Because I found some
Cotexes in our garbage,
799
00:51:22,663 --> 00:51:27,668
and they had blood on them,
and I thought it might be yours.
800
00:51:27,751 --> 00:51:30,462
So I guess I won't be having
any granddaughters for now.
801
00:51:30,462 --> 00:51:32,548
I mean, this month at least.
802
00:51:32,548 --> 00:51:34,091
-[sobs]
803
00:51:34,091 --> 00:51:36,093
-I'll change the subject.
804
00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:41,098
Hm.
805
00:51:42,224 --> 00:51:47,229
Genny, did you just
remember something sad?
806
00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:52,109
-See-- see if you can open
your mouth a little wider.
807
00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:55,195
That's it.
808
00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:56,280
There, yeah.
809
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,198
See-- See if you-- that's it.
810
00:51:58,198 --> 00:51:59,533
-[groans]
811
00:51:59,533 --> 00:52:04,330
-Good.
812
00:52:04,330 --> 00:52:07,333
Have another bite.
813
00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:10,044
Good.
814
00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:12,046
Good.
815
00:52:12,046 --> 00:52:13,172
Good.
816
00:52:13,172 --> 00:52:14,173
-[groans]
817
00:52:14,173 --> 00:52:17,634
-Oh, yeah.
818
00:52:17,634 --> 00:52:20,304
Okay, you-- you've had enough.
819
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:23,349
Well, let's get some sleep then.
820
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:25,351
[nun groans]
821
00:52:25,351 --> 00:52:30,356
♪melancholy piano music♪
822
00:52:34,526 --> 00:52:36,487
-[coughs]
823
00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:40,449
[rain and thunder]
824
00:54:04,450 --> 00:54:09,455
[birds chirping]
825
00:54:11,832 --> 00:54:14,835
-[officer VO] Were you looking
for someone in particular,
826
00:54:14,835 --> 00:54:17,754
in your walks in the woods?
827
00:54:17,754 --> 00:54:20,382
-[Earl VO] There is an elusive
and nimble buck I have been
828
00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:25,387
tracking, uneven
lope, asymmetric rack,
829
00:54:25,762 --> 00:54:29,683
all signs of instability.
830
00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:33,562
At times, he walks erect.
831
00:54:33,562 --> 00:54:38,567
He stands by the fence
and spies on the children.
832
00:54:38,775 --> 00:54:42,863
Not of the angels,
but of the devil,
833
00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:45,866
for I have heard his cry.
834
00:54:45,866 --> 00:54:50,871
And it is not a deer's
bray, but a drunkard's wail.
835
00:54:50,871 --> 00:54:52,831
-[man] [yells incoherently]
836
00:54:52,831 --> 00:54:54,791
-[Earl VO] [laughs]
837
00:54:54,791 --> 00:54:57,294
-[officer VO]
Okay, let's calm down.
838
00:54:57,294 --> 00:55:02,299
Just answer our
questions, Mr. Gray.
839
00:55:30,911 --> 00:55:33,539
[gunshot]
840
00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:36,542
-[Earl VO] I think of
hunting like gardening,
841
00:55:36,542 --> 00:55:40,963
as an art, I think it
can be of indication,
842
00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:43,423
an eye for an eye.
843
00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:45,509
-[officer VO] And do you
have enemies in the woods?
844
00:55:45,509 --> 00:55:47,010
-[Earl VO] Yes.
845
00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:51,265
As a gardener, many
woodland creatures are my enemy,
846
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:53,934
the rabbit, the
squirrel, the field mouse,
847
00:55:53,934 --> 00:55:56,979
and of course, the
white tailed deer.
848
00:55:56,979 --> 00:55:59,439
-[officer VO] And what if you
should encounter one of your
849
00:55:59,439 --> 00:56:00,315
enemies?
850
00:56:00,315 --> 00:56:03,026
-[Earl VO] I will
strike a deadly blow!
851
00:56:03,026 --> 00:56:07,239
And if I falter, I
will be merciful.
852
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:12,244
I will pursue the wounded
until I execute my task.
853
00:56:14,663 --> 00:56:19,668
I am the lethal
destroying Angel of Death.
854
00:56:21,587 --> 00:56:26,592
[gunshot]
855
00:56:51,408 --> 00:56:56,413
[thunder]
856
00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:24,191
-Okay.
857
00:57:26,693 --> 00:57:31,073
That should be better.
858
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:48,507
-[child 1] Look,
that guy's got no eyes!
859
00:57:48,507 --> 00:57:50,467
-[child 2] Yeah, look at
how sharp his jaws are!
860
00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:51,301
-[child 1] He could kill a deer!
861
00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:53,845
-[child 2] This
could kill something!
862
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:55,931
-[child 1] Look at that thing!
863
00:57:55,931 --> 00:57:59,601
[children ooh and ah]
864
00:57:59,601 --> 00:58:04,106
-Before the days of the
automobile and the television,
865
00:58:04,106 --> 00:58:08,985
these hills we call home were
inhabited by the Pawkegheny
866
00:58:08,985 --> 00:58:13,407
Indians, a tribe of hunters and
gatherers who migrated to this
867
00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:18,412
part of Appalachia, where they
found ample game and natural
868
00:58:18,829 --> 00:58:23,166
shelter in the caves and
outcroppings of the Pawkegheny
869
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:26,002
Valley.
870
00:58:26,002 --> 00:58:29,381
Who can tell me what
kind of a person this is?
871
00:58:29,381 --> 00:58:30,173
-A clown?
872
00:58:30,173 --> 00:58:30,757
-[Gentian] What?
873
00:58:30,757 --> 00:58:31,591
-A clown!
874
00:58:31,591 --> 00:58:33,093
-No, not a clown.
875
00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:33,927
-[child] Witch doctor.
876
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:34,594
-[Gentian] What?
877
00:58:34,594 --> 00:58:36,638
-Witch doctor!
878
00:58:36,638 --> 00:58:39,474
-And what is another
word for witch doctor?
879
00:58:39,474 --> 00:58:40,475
-A boogeyman!
880
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:41,435
-Zombie!
881
00:58:41,435 --> 00:58:43,145
-A mummy!
882
00:58:43,145 --> 00:58:43,937
-A medicine man!
883
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:44,771
-[Gentian] What?
884
00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:45,605
What?
885
00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:46,356
-The bookkeeper!
886
00:58:46,356 --> 00:58:47,232
-[Gentian] Close enough.
887
00:58:47,232 --> 00:58:48,900
Someone said medicine man.
888
00:58:48,900 --> 00:58:50,360
[children groan in
disappointment]
889
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,822
-The word I'm
looking for is a shaman.
890
00:58:53,822 --> 00:58:56,867
He is the man in the tribe who
communicates with the spirit
891
00:58:56,867 --> 00:58:58,326
world.
892
00:58:58,326 --> 00:58:59,661
-[child] How was I
supposed to know that?
893
00:58:59,661 --> 00:59:00,829
-And this shaman--
894
00:59:00,829 --> 00:59:01,747
-[child] What's that?
895
00:59:01,747 --> 00:59:02,831
---was preserved
in this attitude--
896
00:59:02,831 --> 00:59:03,540
-[child 2] What's a shaman?
897
00:59:03,540 --> 00:59:07,377
---in a crevice, at the
base of Mount Carmel.
898
00:59:07,377 --> 00:59:09,838
About him, you can see his...
899
00:59:09,838 --> 00:59:12,424
wares and some bowls and...
900
00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:17,429
baskets, and here we can see
there are some other Indians
901
00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:20,849
sneaking up.
902
00:59:20,849 --> 00:59:24,561
[gunshot]
903
00:59:25,604 --> 00:59:30,317
[multiple gunshots]
904
00:59:40,702 --> 00:59:42,829
-Do you ever
think about marriage?
905
00:59:42,829 --> 00:59:47,584
-I d-- I do think
about marriage, of course.
906
00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,002
-Hm.
907
00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:52,088
-[slurred] But I'm not sure
about children at my age,
908
00:59:52,088 --> 00:59:53,465
really.
909
00:59:53,465 --> 00:59:55,550
-[Victor] [clears throat] Yeah.
910
00:59:55,550 --> 01:00:00,555
-And I do enjoy certain aspects
of the bachelorette lifestyle.
911
01:00:02,057 --> 01:00:03,266
-[Victor] Hm.
912
01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:08,271
-The independence,
meeting different people,
913
01:00:10,690 --> 01:00:13,109
the night life.
914
01:00:13,109 --> 01:00:15,153
-[slurred] Oh-- I'm [clears
throat] I'm-- I know what you
915
01:00:15,153 --> 01:00:18,156
mean.
916
01:00:18,156 --> 01:00:22,118
I-- I enjoy the mystery
of meeting others as well,
917
01:00:22,118 --> 01:00:25,455
Genny.
918
01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:28,875
And I-- I know I'm pretty ugly.
919
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:29,835
[laughs]
920
01:00:29,835 --> 01:00:31,211
-Oh, no!
921
01:00:31,211 --> 01:00:33,088
-No, it-- it's not a crime.
922
01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,966
[laughs] I ad-- I admit
it, and-- and you know,
923
01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:37,634
Genny?
924
01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,219
You're pretty ugly too.
925
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,428
-[Gentian] [laughs]
926
01:00:40,428 --> 01:00:42,305
-And I know that, and--
I mean, you know that.
927
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:44,599
I mean, who-- who
are we kidding?
928
01:00:44,599 --> 01:00:46,268
-[chuckles]
929
01:00:46,268 --> 01:00:49,771
-[slurred] I-- I mean, nobody's
looking at-- at our table.
930
01:00:49,771 --> 01:00:53,733
And that's just what--
that's what I like about you.
931
01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:56,820
I mean, you're my baby.
932
01:00:56,820 --> 01:01:01,825
And most-- most people wouldn't
even dream of being-- being
933
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:06,496
interested in you or,
uh, getting to know you,
934
01:01:06,496 --> 01:01:08,373
and--
935
01:01:08,373 --> 01:01:13,378
-[extremely slurred] I've
never been so insulted!
936
01:01:14,921 --> 01:01:16,923
In months!
937
01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:18,717
-What?
938
01:01:18,717 --> 01:01:20,594
Genny!
939
01:01:20,594 --> 01:01:24,681
What-- What hap--
Jesus mother of Christ!
940
01:01:24,681 --> 01:01:26,933
Ex-- Excuse my
language, everybody.
941
01:01:26,933 --> 01:01:30,020
I mean, she's just--
she flipped out on me!
942
01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:35,025
She ran-- God,
you ever see that?
943
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:49,581
-Now, this is a
delightful tonic,
944
01:01:49,581 --> 01:01:53,460
as well as a curious soup.
945
01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:58,465
It will help with
scab formation.
946
01:02:01,426 --> 01:02:03,094
-Could I eat over?
947
01:02:03,094 --> 01:02:05,180
-I have to watch Mom tonight.
948
01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:09,100
It probably
wouldn't be a good idea.
949
01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:13,438
-Oh, okay.
950
01:02:13,438 --> 01:02:18,443
[mumbles incoherently]
951
01:02:24,866 --> 01:02:28,203
-♪Lydia, oh Lydia,
the encyclopedia♪
952
01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:31,957
♪Lydia, the tattooed lady♪
953
01:02:31,957 --> 01:02:36,711
♪She has eyes folks adore
so, and a torso even moreso♪
954
01:02:36,711 --> 01:02:40,966
♪Lydia, the
queen of tattoos♪
955
01:02:40,966 --> 01:02:45,136
♪Lydia, oh Lydia, oh
have you seen Lydia?♪
956
01:02:45,136 --> 01:02:48,682
♪Lydia the tattooed lady♪
957
01:02:48,682 --> 01:02:50,225
-[Peabody] "They
weren't expecting the Spanish
958
01:02:50,225 --> 01:02:51,768
Inquisition.
959
01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:54,312
Slashing with so
much spiritual fervor,
960
01:02:54,312 --> 01:02:58,650
sinewy novices crumbled under
the slap shots of seasoned holy
961
01:02:58,650 --> 01:03:00,443
angel spinsters.
962
01:03:00,443 --> 01:03:02,195
Slap, score!
963
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,657
Right through the inopportunely
parted white legs of
964
01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:10,662
resurrection goalie,
Sister Mary Dumont."
965
01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:13,665
-In the bustle of the
day, there is sometimes,
966
01:03:13,665 --> 01:03:18,586
I will admit, snap judgments
made by my colleagues and I.
967
01:03:18,586 --> 01:03:19,629
-[Peabody] Mm-hm.
968
01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:20,672
I understand that.
969
01:03:20,672 --> 01:03:23,800
-Five days, many
pages, there's going to be,
970
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,136
uh, casualties.
971
01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:27,721
-[Peabody] Casualties?
972
01:03:27,721 --> 01:03:31,182
-Intellectual
casualties, slips of the tongue.
973
01:03:31,182 --> 01:03:32,517
-[Peabody] And what about this?
974
01:03:32,517 --> 01:03:36,730
"No guffaws for this
sloppily knitted community."
975
01:03:36,730 --> 01:03:39,149
-[Gentian] It's a
reference to "closely knit."
976
01:03:39,149 --> 01:03:40,316
-[Peabody] Mm-hm.
977
01:03:40,316 --> 01:03:43,987
And, uh, under the photo,
"Victor Blue is stunned by news
978
01:03:43,987 --> 01:03:46,406
of strangers' deaths."
979
01:03:46,406 --> 01:03:47,824
-It's a hook.
980
01:03:47,824 --> 01:03:49,034
-[Peabody] A hook?
981
01:03:49,034 --> 01:03:52,454
-A hook, a way to get
you into the story.
982
01:03:52,454 --> 01:03:54,080
-Okay, look.
983
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,499
I know that you're
doing the best you can,
984
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:59,669
and I-- I'm-- I'm-- I'm
all the way with you.
985
01:03:59,669 --> 01:04:02,464
The only thing I'm asking is
that you just stop with the
986
01:04:02,464 --> 01:04:03,506
weird type.
987
01:04:03,506 --> 01:04:05,425
All right?
988
01:04:05,425 --> 01:04:09,220
-Uh, yes sir.
989
01:04:09,220 --> 01:04:12,557
-And now for
something a little different.
990
01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:17,520
Genny will do her own dance
interpretation of "Where Are the
991
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:18,980
Flowers?"
992
01:04:18,980 --> 01:04:21,566
With a costume of
her own design.
993
01:04:21,566 --> 01:04:26,571
[applause]
994
01:04:40,085 --> 01:04:41,419
-[people singing in distance]
♪I've seen pictures of
995
01:04:41,419 --> 01:04:46,424
pussies, and I'd love
to have seen one♪
996
01:04:48,176 --> 01:04:51,971
-[man singing]
♪Where are the flowers?♪
997
01:04:51,971 --> 01:04:56,851
♪I've seen
pictures of flowers♪
998
01:04:56,851 --> 01:05:01,856
♪And I'd love to
have seen one♪
999
01:05:03,566 --> 01:05:05,985
-[Victor VO] Um, yes,
hello, um, this is Victor Blue.
1000
01:05:05,985 --> 01:05:09,823
Um, I spoke to, uh, you or one
of your associates earlier in
1001
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:14,828
respects to, um, transferring
the title of my car.
1002
01:05:15,537 --> 01:05:19,290
Oh, well that-- that's inter--
that's-- that's kind of ironic.
1003
01:05:19,290 --> 01:05:24,295
Our, um, she's
actually, um, incapacitated.
1004
01:05:24,671 --> 01:05:26,422
Well is there some
way that, um, I could,
1005
01:05:26,422 --> 01:05:28,675
um, get-- get a signature?
1006
01:05:28,675 --> 01:05:33,555
If-- um, an absentia
transfer of title?
1007
01:05:33,555 --> 01:05:37,851
Is that the-- the
form I would be using?
1008
01:05:37,851 --> 01:05:42,856
Okay, um...
1009
01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:55,827
See, and though a photograph
was not a possibility,
1010
01:05:55,827 --> 01:06:00,290
as you can see, I have, um, used
the well established technique
1011
01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:02,458
of using an
artist's rendering, um,
1012
01:06:02,458 --> 01:06:04,794
instead of an actual
photograph to represent the,
1013
01:06:04,794 --> 01:06:06,629
uh, missing individual.
1014
01:06:06,629 --> 01:06:07,797
Mm-hm.
1015
01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:09,716
Yes, yes, I was-- I was told
that this would act as a legal,
1016
01:06:09,716 --> 01:06:11,926
uh, death certificate.
1017
01:06:11,926 --> 01:06:13,344
-[Earl VO] Thank you, Terry.
1018
01:06:13,344 --> 01:06:15,305
Your warmth is excessive.
1019
01:06:15,305 --> 01:06:18,057
Hello everyone, this
is Gardener's Corners,
1020
01:06:18,057 --> 01:06:20,768
and I'm Earl Gray, your host.
1021
01:06:20,768 --> 01:06:23,563
Gardener's Corners is made
possible this evening by
1022
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:28,568
disingenuine contributions
from Skin Scapes Adult Arcade,
1023
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:34,157
bringing you the finest in latex
novelties and fine art films.
1024
01:06:34,282 --> 01:06:38,995
This week's double feature is
Cha Cha Morales in 'Hot Cross
1025
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:42,540
Buns' and 'Lickity Split.'
1026
01:06:42,540 --> 01:06:45,460
Now before you all
gasp at my sponsors,
1027
01:06:45,460 --> 01:06:49,505
I would like to say that I have
seen some fine cinema at Skin
1028
01:06:49,505 --> 01:06:51,507
Scapes.
1029
01:06:51,507 --> 01:06:54,594
As a matter of fact, I caught
the 10 o'clock show of 'Lickity
1030
01:06:54,594 --> 01:06:58,389
Split,' and I found it to
be a delightful romp with an
1031
01:06:58,389 --> 01:07:02,644
unexpected twist at the end that
will leave you stroking your
1032
01:07:02,644 --> 01:07:04,979
chin.
1033
01:07:04,979 --> 01:07:09,692
And Cha Cha Morales, despite
a weak supporting cast was,
1034
01:07:09,692 --> 01:07:13,112
as usual, fantastic.
1035
01:07:13,112 --> 01:07:16,616
I'm always amazed at how she
can milk an awful script into a
1036
01:07:16,616 --> 01:07:18,409
purring kitten.
1037
01:07:18,409 --> 01:07:22,664
So I say, judge not,
lest you be judged.
1038
01:07:22,664 --> 01:07:27,669
And now, let's take some calls.
1039
01:07:27,710 --> 01:07:31,256
-Hey, right up here.
1040
01:07:31,256 --> 01:07:34,175
-A little something for
the man in the house.
1041
01:07:34,175 --> 01:07:37,428
[chuckles] Have
you seen this one?
1042
01:07:37,428 --> 01:07:38,346
-Uh, no sir.
1043
01:07:38,346 --> 01:07:40,348
-Looks-- looks rather risque.
1044
01:07:40,348 --> 01:07:42,308
[chuckles] I savor
the busty films.
1045
01:07:42,308 --> 01:07:46,479
They tend to smack
of witty burlesque,
1046
01:07:46,479 --> 01:07:48,731
uh, spiced with a
touch of farce.
1047
01:07:48,731 --> 01:07:49,774
[chuckles]
1048
01:07:49,774 --> 01:07:50,775
-Yeah, right.
1049
01:07:50,775 --> 01:07:55,780
-[chuckles]
1050
01:08:11,462 --> 01:08:15,967
-[grumbles] Hey,
Mister Pufferball.
1051
01:08:15,967 --> 01:08:18,720
-[male VO] Oh well, that's good.
1052
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:22,140
So she's more concerned
with how warm she is.
1053
01:08:22,140 --> 01:08:23,850
-[Lydia VO] She puts
the blanket on us.
1054
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:27,061
-[man VO] Oh, I see.
1055
01:08:27,061 --> 01:08:28,438
And you sleep in your own rooms?
1056
01:08:28,438 --> 01:08:29,355
-[Victor VO]
Sometimes we sleep--
1057
01:08:29,355 --> 01:08:30,732
-[Lydia VO] Sometimes we
sleep in the middle room.
1058
01:08:30,732 --> 01:08:31,816
-[Victor VO] The middle room.
1059
01:08:31,816 --> 01:08:33,109
-[man VO] Uh-huh.
1060
01:08:33,109 --> 01:08:35,028
Why would you sleep
in the middle room?
1061
01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:36,321
-[Victor VO] If it's cold.
1062
01:08:36,321 --> 01:08:37,196
-[man VO] Oh.
1063
01:08:37,196 --> 01:08:42,201
How does your mom and dad
feel about you being cold?
1064
01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:45,705
Does she ever light the oven
to make the trailer warmer?
1065
01:08:45,705 --> 01:08:46,664
-[Lydia VO] No,
she'd never do that.
1066
01:08:46,664 --> 01:08:48,541
She's not stupid.
1067
01:08:48,541 --> 01:08:49,667
-I-- don't worry, Lydia.
1068
01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:50,835
I'm just trying to
get to know you two,
1069
01:08:50,835 --> 01:08:54,005
that's all.
1070
01:08:54,005 --> 01:08:58,176
Now, I have to
ask you a question.
1071
01:08:58,176 --> 01:08:59,802
And I need you to be
very honest about it.
1072
01:08:59,802 --> 01:09:02,055
Can you do that?
1073
01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:04,265
And you know the difference
between the real truth and a
1074
01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:06,392
made up story, right?
1075
01:09:06,392 --> 01:09:09,479
-[Victor] In a made up story,
you can have talking animals and
1076
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:11,272
magic, that kind of stuff.
1077
01:09:11,272 --> 01:09:12,982
-[Lydia VO] That's
not what he means.
1078
01:09:12,982 --> 01:09:14,817
-[man VO] Well, that's an
interesting way of putting it,
1079
01:09:14,817 --> 01:09:16,569
Victor.
1080
01:09:16,569 --> 01:09:19,364
Yeah, I guess it can.
1081
01:09:19,364 --> 01:09:24,369
No, what I want to ask you
is about your private parts.
1082
01:09:25,703 --> 01:09:27,705
We've noticed
that sometimes you,
1083
01:09:27,705 --> 01:09:32,710
Victor, itch yourself or
touch yourself downstairs.
1084
01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:38,216
What I want to know is whether
your mommy or daddy ever do
1085
01:09:39,801 --> 01:09:43,763
funny things in
your private places.
1086
01:09:43,763 --> 01:09:46,432
-[Victor VO] I don't think
I understand the question.
1087
01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:48,351
-[man VO] Let's put it this way.
1088
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:53,356
Does your mommy ever touch
you with her hands or her mouth
1089
01:09:54,107 --> 01:09:56,609
in...
1090
01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:59,362
the place you go
to the bathroom?
1091
01:09:59,362 --> 01:10:00,488
-[Lydia VO] He's trying
to make you talk about,
1092
01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:01,572
like--
1093
01:10:01,572 --> 01:10:02,615
-[Victor VO] Oh, no.
1094
01:10:02,615 --> 01:10:06,786
No.
1095
01:10:07,370 --> 01:10:10,206
-[host] And next we
will have Shenandoah,
1096
01:10:10,206 --> 01:10:15,211
with Lydia Blue, soloist.
1097
01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:23,177
-♪Oh Shenandoah, l
long to hear you♪
1098
01:10:23,428 --> 01:10:28,433
♪Away, your rolling river♪
1099
01:10:28,558 --> 01:10:33,563
♪Oh Shenandoah, I
long to hear you♪
1100
01:10:34,147 --> 01:10:39,152
♪Away, I'm bound away♪
1101
01:10:39,402 --> 01:10:44,407
♪Across the wide Missouri♪
1102
01:10:45,032 --> 01:10:50,037
♪A white man loved
an Indian maiden♪
1103
01:10:50,204 --> 01:10:55,209
♪Away, your rolling river♪
1104
01:10:55,334 --> 01:11:00,339
♪With notions, his
canoe was laden♪
1105
01:11:00,798 --> 01:11:03,634
♪Away, we're bound away♪
1106
01:11:03,634 --> 01:11:06,471
-Oh, oh no, Victor.
1107
01:11:06,471 --> 01:11:08,014
Lydia?
1108
01:11:08,014 --> 01:11:10,099
-[Lydia VO] ♪Across
the wide Missouri♪
1109
01:11:10,099 --> 01:11:11,684
-Lydia?
1110
01:11:11,684 --> 01:11:16,397
-[Lydia VO] ♪Oh Shenandoah,
I love your daughter♪
1111
01:11:16,397 --> 01:11:21,402
♪Away, your rolling river♪
1112
01:11:21,694 --> 01:11:26,699
♪For her, I'd cross
this raging river♪
1113
01:11:27,575 --> 01:11:32,580
♪Away, we're bound away♪
1114
01:11:32,622 --> 01:11:37,627
♪Across the wide Missouri♪
1115
01:11:38,085 --> 01:11:43,007
♪Farewell, my dear.
I'm bound to leave you♪
1116
01:11:43,007 --> 01:11:48,012
♪Away, your rolling river♪
1117
01:11:48,221 --> 01:11:53,226
♪Oh Shenandoah,
I'll long to see you♪
1118
01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:58,231
♪Away, we're bound away♪
1119
01:11:58,231 --> 01:12:03,236
♪Across the wide Missouri♪
1120
01:12:04,904 --> 01:12:09,909
[applause]
1121
01:12:13,329 --> 01:12:17,500
[gunshots]
1122
01:12:17,500 --> 01:12:19,877
-I think I'll just do this.
1123
01:12:19,877 --> 01:12:21,712
Call up...
1124
01:12:21,712 --> 01:12:24,465
and...
1125
01:12:24,465 --> 01:12:28,928
set up a visitation.
1126
01:12:28,928 --> 01:12:31,847
You're probably gonna be
so glad to see my face.
1127
01:12:31,847 --> 01:12:36,852
[phone rings]
1128
01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:41,315
-Hello?
1129
01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:42,483
-[Victor] Oh, um, hello.
1130
01:12:42,483 --> 01:12:45,987
Uh, yes, can I speak to, um, I'm
interested in the subject of--
1131
01:12:45,987 --> 01:12:47,280
of visitations.
1132
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:49,657
-Do you mean you're
interested in a chapel tour?
1133
01:12:49,657 --> 01:12:52,326
-[Victor] Uh,
perhap-- perhaps initially, yes.
1134
01:12:52,326 --> 01:12:54,662
Uh, but not, uh, fundamentally.
1135
01:12:54,662 --> 01:12:56,622
And-- and-- and to
whom am I speaking?
1136
01:12:56,622 --> 01:12:59,417
-This is the Mother Superior,
and I'm the one who sets up
1137
01:12:59,417 --> 01:13:00,710
tours.
1138
01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,128
-[Victor] Are--
are-- are you, um,
1139
01:13:02,128 --> 01:13:05,131
as well the-- the person
to whom I would contact to,
1140
01:13:05,131 --> 01:13:07,800
uh, visit, a m-- mental patient?
1141
01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:09,260
-[Mother Superior] Excuse me?
1142
01:13:09,260 --> 01:13:10,928
-Yes, uh, my name
is Victor Blue.
1143
01:13:10,928 --> 01:13:13,306
Uh, perhaps you've read
columns I've typeset.
1144
01:13:13,306 --> 01:13:14,765
-[Mother Superior] Ah.
1145
01:13:14,765 --> 01:13:17,351
-Uh, y-- you see, my mother is
a resident in the-- the Holy
1146
01:13:17,351 --> 01:13:18,728
Angels Sanatorium.
1147
01:13:18,728 --> 01:13:20,313
-[Mother Superior] Ah.
1148
01:13:20,313 --> 01:13:23,441
-Uh, and I'd-- I'd
like to pay her visit.
1149
01:13:23,441 --> 01:13:25,776
-What is this individuals name?
1150
01:13:25,776 --> 01:13:27,153
-[Victor] It would
be, um, my mother,
1151
01:13:27,153 --> 01:13:28,237
Doris Blue.
1152
01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:29,447
-Ah.
1153
01:13:29,447 --> 01:13:30,865
-[Victor] And, um,
my name also, uh,
1154
01:13:30,865 --> 01:13:32,992
the-- the Blue part.
1155
01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:35,036
-Ah, I see.
1156
01:13:35,036 --> 01:13:38,581
Well I know Doris very well.
1157
01:13:38,581 --> 01:13:41,709
I didn't know she
had any children.
1158
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:43,169
-[Victor] Well
this is-- this is,
1159
01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:44,670
uh, recent.
1160
01:13:44,670 --> 01:13:46,130
-[Mother Superior] And Victor,
when was the last time you
1161
01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:48,299
visited your mother?
1162
01:13:48,299 --> 01:13:51,552
-[Victor] What-- um,
not-- not recently.
1163
01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:54,430
-[Mother Superior] Have you
ever visited your mother?
1164
01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:59,060
-If-- if-- if only, uh, [clears
throat] Mother S-- if only it
1165
01:13:59,060 --> 01:14:00,895
were that simple.
1166
01:14:00,895 --> 01:14:05,107
But, uh, the fact is, um,
I've just recently returned from
1167
01:14:05,107 --> 01:14:09,362
living, uh, with my dear-- my
dear father in-- in Limburg.
1168
01:14:09,362 --> 01:14:13,199
And, uh, [clears throat] b--
before I-- I lay-- be-- [in fake
1169
01:14:13,199 --> 01:14:14,909
Irish accent] before
I lay me father down,
1170
01:14:14,909 --> 01:14:17,244
he bestoweth on me a--
a small gratuity of,
1171
01:14:17,244 --> 01:14:19,163
uh, da-- doubloons.
1172
01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:20,498
-[Mother Superior] Pardon me?
1173
01:14:20,498 --> 01:14:21,874
-[Victor] I-- Irish shillings.
1174
01:14:21,874 --> 01:14:25,670
And-- and I-- I said on
my father's shallow grave,
1175
01:14:25,670 --> 01:14:29,298
um, "I'm goin' across the
Atlantic to visit our mum."
1176
01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:33,386
So I-- I became a-- a
hand on-- on a small shift,
1177
01:14:33,386 --> 01:14:36,389
uh, that was
leavin' for America.
1178
01:14:36,389 --> 01:14:37,640
-Oh, really?
1179
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:39,058
-[Victor] Aye, aye.
1180
01:14:39,058 --> 01:14:42,895
And up, I be bringin' her a
box of unreturned letters.
1181
01:14:42,895 --> 01:14:45,773
Uh, [coughs]
1182
01:14:45,773 --> 01:14:49,735
-Mr. Blue, I'm sure you
realize that your mother is both
1183
01:14:49,735 --> 01:14:52,321
mentally and
physically frail.
1184
01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:53,823
-[Victor] I-- I--
1185
01:14:53,823 --> 01:14:57,410
-And seeing you after all these
years would be a terrible shock.
1186
01:14:57,410 --> 01:15:01,831
-[Victor] Or-- Or a
terrible delight.
1187
01:15:01,831 --> 01:15:05,584
-And how will you
explain your absence?
1188
01:15:05,584 --> 01:15:09,296
After all these years, do you
think you can just casually
1189
01:15:09,296 --> 01:15:11,006
visit?
1190
01:15:11,006 --> 01:15:13,759
Are you expecting
her to recognize you?
1191
01:15:13,759 --> 01:15:14,927
-[Victor] Oh--
1192
01:15:14,927 --> 01:15:17,054
-Because she won't.
1193
01:15:17,054 --> 01:15:19,974
I have to tell you that I
think you are making a terrible
1194
01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:21,434
mistake.
1195
01:15:21,434 --> 01:15:23,728
-[Victor] Oh, I-- I-- I
understand your apprehension,
1196
01:15:23,728 --> 01:15:28,441
your grace, but as I said, I
have just arrived from Ireland,
1197
01:15:28,441 --> 01:15:30,735
and I have missed her so.
1198
01:15:30,735 --> 01:15:35,531
And-- and I-- I need to see her
shinin' face again and read her
1199
01:15:35,531 --> 01:15:36,866
the box of letters.
1200
01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:38,034
-[Mother Superior] Hmm.
1201
01:15:38,034 --> 01:15:39,702
-[Victor] That I have, that have
been-- that have been returned
1202
01:15:39,702 --> 01:15:41,746
to me over the years.
1203
01:15:41,746 --> 01:15:46,417
-Wait, wait, wait...
1204
01:15:46,417 --> 01:15:48,294
-[Victor] Oh, thank
you, blessed Mother,
1205
01:15:48,294 --> 01:15:50,463
for letting me see me mother.
1206
01:15:50,463 --> 01:15:54,341
I wish Lydia was here as well,
but we-- we lost her many years,
1207
01:15:54,341 --> 01:15:55,676
uh, back.
1208
01:15:55,676 --> 01:15:59,305
She's a highway woman.
1209
01:15:59,305 --> 01:16:02,224
-I'm afraid the news of your
visit did hit your mother quite
1210
01:16:02,224 --> 01:16:03,267
hard.
1211
01:16:03,267 --> 01:16:04,351
-Oh.
1212
01:16:04,351 --> 01:16:07,855
-She became very violent
and had to be restrained.
1213
01:16:07,855 --> 01:16:09,190
-Oh.
1214
01:16:09,190 --> 01:16:12,902
-I'm afraid you will only be
able to speak with her through a
1215
01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:16,238
small opening in the door.
1216
01:16:16,238 --> 01:16:19,241
She's in room 34.
1217
01:16:19,241 --> 01:16:22,828
Just knock and speak
through the food opening.
1218
01:16:22,828 --> 01:16:24,330
-[Victor] Okay.
1219
01:16:24,330 --> 01:16:27,750
-I will be back in
about 10 minutes.
1220
01:16:27,750 --> 01:16:32,755
-Okay.
1221
01:16:32,797 --> 01:16:37,802
[knocks]
1222
01:16:39,053 --> 01:16:42,097
Uh, hi, Mom?
1223
01:16:42,097 --> 01:16:43,933
G-- guess who this is.
1224
01:16:43,933 --> 01:16:46,560
This is-- this is Vic.
1225
01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:49,230
[clears throat] So,
uh, so how are you?
1226
01:16:49,230 --> 01:16:52,358
Um, I-- I was wondering if you
could-- if you could do me a
1227
01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:54,360
favor.
1228
01:16:54,360 --> 01:16:56,612
-[Mother] Yes?
1229
01:16:56,612 --> 01:16:59,198
-Yeah, uh, do you
remember Dad's green truck?
1230
01:16:59,198 --> 01:17:01,158
The, uh, the Ford?
1231
01:17:01,158 --> 01:17:03,577
Well, I-- I've been driving it,
but I guess it's actually still
1232
01:17:03,577 --> 01:17:05,287
yours.
1233
01:17:05,287 --> 01:17:07,248
-[Mother] Oh, I see.
1234
01:17:07,248 --> 01:17:08,791
-[Victor] And [clears throat]
and I need you to sign a piece
1235
01:17:08,791 --> 01:17:10,042
of paper.
1236
01:17:10,042 --> 01:17:14,129
It's called, uh, a--
absentia transfer of title.
1237
01:17:14,129 --> 01:17:16,632
And then I'll stop being
pulled over every other night.
1238
01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:21,595
[chuckles]
1239
01:17:23,514 --> 01:17:26,892
-[Mother] Do you have a pen?
1240
01:17:26,892 --> 01:17:30,312
-[clears throat]
Yeah, amazingly,
1241
01:17:30,312 --> 01:17:34,316
yes, I do.
1242
01:17:35,484 --> 01:17:38,028
This, uh, this'll-- this'll
make life a-- a hell of a lot
1243
01:17:38,028 --> 01:17:39,738
[chuckles] ea-- easier.
1244
01:17:39,738 --> 01:17:41,532
Par-- pardon my French.
1245
01:17:41,532 --> 01:17:43,742
Easier for me.
1246
01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:47,580
-[Mother] I'm glad I could help.
1247
01:17:47,580 --> 01:17:52,585
-Pass it through it.
1248
01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:55,004
Ah.
1249
01:17:55,004 --> 01:17:56,380
So-- so how are you?
1250
01:17:56,380 --> 01:17:57,756
Are-- are you doing fine?
1251
01:17:57,756 --> 01:18:00,384
Are they-- they treating
you fair and everything?
1252
01:18:00,384 --> 01:18:01,844
-[Mother] Yes.
1253
01:18:01,844 --> 01:18:03,470
I'm very happy.
1254
01:18:03,470 --> 01:18:05,890
-Oh, that's good to hear.
1255
01:18:05,890 --> 01:18:09,101
Now you hear such-- you hear
such horror stories about insane
1256
01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:10,603
asylums.
1257
01:18:10,603 --> 01:18:14,356
They're probably
exaggerations, it sounds like.
1258
01:18:14,356 --> 01:18:19,361
[clears throat] Well, I-- I kind
of have to get back to work.
1259
01:18:19,987 --> 01:18:21,864
Um, but I'll come
back another day,
1260
01:18:21,864 --> 01:18:24,658
uh, maybe when y-- when
you're out of solitary.
1261
01:18:24,658 --> 01:18:26,619
Thanks again.
1262
01:18:26,619 --> 01:18:28,829
Great to hear-- great to hear
everything's-- great to hear
1263
01:18:28,829 --> 01:18:32,791
everything's going well.
1264
01:18:32,791 --> 01:18:36,337
Bye!
1265
01:18:36,337 --> 01:18:40,549
Uh, Mother Superior?
1266
01:18:40,549 --> 01:18:45,554
[police siren]
1267
01:18:50,976 --> 01:18:52,686
-H-- h-- hello, officer.
1268
01:18:52,686 --> 01:18:56,106
[clears throat] H-- how
can I help you this evening?
1269
01:18:56,106 --> 01:18:57,900
-Have you been drinking, sir?
1270
01:18:57,900 --> 01:19:01,904
-Uh, yes, officer, but--
but just-- just socially.
1271
01:19:01,904 --> 01:19:04,073
-Why are you driving so slowly?
1272
01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:08,285
-Uh, uh, b-- because,
um, I-- I'm a bit drunk.
1273
01:19:08,285 --> 01:19:12,665
Um, but actually, this
time, I-- I am very drunk.
1274
01:19:12,665 --> 01:19:16,543
Uh, and so for-- for the safety
of other-- other fellow mo--
1275
01:19:16,543 --> 01:19:19,463
motorists, I-- I thought
I'd put on my hazards,
1276
01:19:19,463 --> 01:19:21,966
um, because in a
matter of sp-- speaking,
1277
01:19:21,966 --> 01:19:24,468
I-- I am a hazard.
1278
01:19:24,468 --> 01:19:27,680
-[officer] Please
step out of the car.
1279
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:29,807
-[Victor] Oh, c-- could you
give me a little bit of assist--
1280
01:19:29,807 --> 01:19:34,812
assistance, please?
1281
01:19:45,447 --> 01:19:47,032
Goodnight, nobody.
1282
01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:52,037
Goodnight.
1283
01:20:04,383 --> 01:20:05,968
-Thank you, honey.
1284
01:20:05,968 --> 01:20:09,388
You're such a good chef.
1285
01:20:09,388 --> 01:20:13,642
-Mom, I'm thinking
of maybe moving.
1286
01:20:13,642 --> 01:20:15,769
-Moving our whole house?
1287
01:20:15,769 --> 01:20:18,981
Or just some suitcases?
1288
01:20:18,981 --> 01:20:21,108
-Just moving to a
different city,
1289
01:20:21,108 --> 01:20:24,653
maybe trying to
live somewhere else.
1290
01:20:24,653 --> 01:20:27,364
-How would you know how
to live somewhere else?
1291
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:30,909
Nobody would know you, and
you're not very beautiful.
1292
01:20:30,909 --> 01:20:34,580
So no one would go out
of their way to find you.
1293
01:20:34,580 --> 01:20:37,916
Would you be a waitress?
1294
01:20:37,916 --> 01:20:41,336
-I would be at my job
at another newspaper.
1295
01:20:41,336 --> 01:20:44,673
I can do a lot of
clerical jobs, also.
1296
01:20:44,673 --> 01:20:47,468
-Are you going to have to
leave your boyfriend...
1297
01:20:47,468 --> 01:20:49,136
behind?
1298
01:20:49,136 --> 01:20:51,138
You'd better have clean
underpants in case you're in a
1299
01:20:51,138 --> 01:20:53,515
car accident.
1300
01:20:53,515 --> 01:20:55,642
When you climb out the
burning window of the car,
1301
01:20:55,642 --> 01:20:57,978
people can see them too.
1302
01:20:57,978 --> 01:21:00,939
The Dukes of Hazzard
climbing in the car window.
1303
01:21:00,939 --> 01:21:05,944
-Let's try this Shirley Temple.
1304
01:21:07,613 --> 01:21:10,991
-Genny, you don't have to leave
because I poisoned myself and I
1305
01:21:10,991 --> 01:21:13,952
will be dead soon.
1306
01:21:13,952 --> 01:21:15,496
-Dammit.
1307
01:21:15,496 --> 01:21:20,501
I didn't manacle you
because you promised.
1308
01:21:21,585 --> 01:21:24,671
Is it a milk this
time or an ipecac?
1309
01:21:24,671 --> 01:21:26,048
-I don't know.
1310
01:21:26,048 --> 01:21:31,053
Maybe you should
call your father.
1311
01:21:32,387 --> 01:21:36,308
I got the idea just
using my imagination.
1312
01:21:36,308 --> 01:21:40,646
I was looking up a pussypaw in
the Audobon North American Field
1313
01:21:40,646 --> 01:21:43,941
Guide and stumbled
upon poison mushrooms.
1314
01:21:43,941 --> 01:21:44,942
-He's not home.
1315
01:21:44,942 --> 01:21:46,443
I'll call the station number.
1316
01:21:46,443 --> 01:21:48,695
-[Mother] I already
feel a little lightheaded,
1317
01:21:48,695 --> 01:21:51,073
you know, so I wouldn't chat.
1318
01:21:51,073 --> 01:21:52,866
I'd just get right to the point.
1319
01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:54,118
-[Earl] Hello.
1320
01:21:54,118 --> 01:21:55,619
You-- you've reached
Gardener's Corners.
1321
01:21:55,619 --> 01:21:56,787
This is Earl.
1322
01:21:56,787 --> 01:21:58,372
-[Gentian] Hello, Dad?
1323
01:21:58,372 --> 01:21:59,540
-[Earl] What-- did
I not give fee--
1324
01:21:59,540 --> 01:22:02,751
-[Gentian] Yeah, I know, but
this is a bit of an emergency.
1325
01:22:02,751 --> 01:22:03,919
-[Earl] Mm-hm.
1326
01:22:03,919 --> 01:22:06,130
All right.
1327
01:22:06,130 --> 01:22:08,590
-[Gentian] Mama's
eaten some poison again.
1328
01:22:08,590 --> 01:22:10,509
-Oh, dear.
1329
01:22:10,509 --> 01:22:12,052
I'm sorry.
1330
01:22:12,052 --> 01:22:13,345
What kind?
1331
01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:15,556
-[Gentian] A poison mushroom.
1332
01:22:15,556 --> 01:22:17,641
-What variety?
1333
01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:19,184
-[Gentian] What kind?
1334
01:22:19,184 --> 01:22:21,436
Mom, what kind of mushroom?
1335
01:22:21,436 --> 01:22:23,021
-[Mother] Sauteed, with an egg.
1336
01:22:23,021 --> 01:22:25,357
-[Gentian] What's it
called in the book?
1337
01:22:25,357 --> 01:22:26,859
-[Mother] A destroying angel.
1338
01:22:26,859 --> 01:22:29,820
-Destroying angel?
1339
01:22:29,820 --> 01:22:31,947
Uh, how long ago was this?
1340
01:22:31,947 --> 01:22:35,075
-[Gentian] How long
ago did you do this?
1341
01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:37,035
-[Mother] What time is it?
1342
01:22:37,035 --> 01:22:39,705
-[Gentian] Wait, I
need to see the clock.
1343
01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:42,708
It's about quarter after eight.
1344
01:22:42,708 --> 01:22:45,419
-[Mother] Well then
about three hours ago.
1345
01:22:45,419 --> 01:22:47,337
-[Gentian] Three
hours ago, she says,
1346
01:22:47,337 --> 01:22:50,465
uh, that's too late for ipecac.
1347
01:22:50,465 --> 01:22:52,009
Should I just give her milk?
1348
01:22:52,009 --> 01:22:53,927
-I'm sorry, Genny.
1349
01:22:53,927 --> 01:22:57,055
I don't know what to tell you.
1350
01:22:57,055 --> 01:22:59,933
They call it the
destroying angel,
1351
01:22:59,933 --> 01:23:04,938
for it is, despite its
beauty, a deadly poison.
1352
01:23:06,356 --> 01:23:09,568
It enters the
bloodstream quickly.
1353
01:23:09,568 --> 01:23:11,653
There is no antidote.
1354
01:23:11,653 --> 01:23:14,239
I'm sorry.
1355
01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:17,451
Give her the milk
and lay her down.
1356
01:23:17,451 --> 01:23:20,204
Her breath will become shallow
as the paralysis spreads to her
1357
01:23:20,204 --> 01:23:22,873
diaphragm.
1358
01:23:22,873 --> 01:23:27,169
In a few hours, she
will join the angels.
1359
01:23:27,169 --> 01:23:30,380
Perhaps it might
be for the best,
1360
01:23:30,380 --> 01:23:35,385
considering--
considering everything.
1361
01:23:35,761 --> 01:23:40,766
I'll be there soon.
1362
01:23:40,933 --> 01:23:43,560
-I understand.
1363
01:23:43,560 --> 01:23:46,605
I'll make her comfortable.
1364
01:23:46,605 --> 01:23:47,898
-So what does he say?
1365
01:23:47,898 --> 01:23:50,067
Milk?
1366
01:23:50,067 --> 01:23:51,818
-Yeah, milk.
1367
01:23:51,818 --> 01:23:53,862
Uh, I'll warm it up.
1368
01:23:53,862 --> 01:23:56,990
-Yeah, I-- you know, I think I
might have to lay down or throw
1369
01:23:56,990 --> 01:23:58,659
up.
1370
01:23:58,659 --> 01:24:03,664
That'll probably take
care of it if I throw up.
1371
01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:09,211
[inner monologue] Mm, my
fingers feel a little buzzy.
1372
01:24:09,211 --> 01:24:13,840
[coughs]
1373
01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:15,550
-[woman on phone]
H-- hello, Earl?
1374
01:24:15,550 --> 01:24:19,596
I was wondering when you
should consider a tree dead.
1375
01:24:19,596 --> 01:24:21,265
I have an old black walnut.
1376
01:24:21,265 --> 01:24:22,724
-Yeah?
1377
01:24:22,724 --> 01:24:24,393
-[woman on phone] That
no longer bares fruit.
1378
01:24:24,393 --> 01:24:26,353
Puts out very little foliage.
1379
01:24:26,353 --> 01:24:29,273
-[Earl] Mm-hm, is
there any fungus present?
1380
01:24:29,273 --> 01:24:31,900
-[woman on phone] Yes,
high up there's shelf fungus.
1381
01:24:31,900 --> 01:24:34,152
-Well, I'm gonna have a
splitting headache in the
1382
01:24:34,152 --> 01:24:36,196
morning as a punishment.
1383
01:24:36,196 --> 01:24:37,948
It's amazing.
1384
01:24:37,948 --> 01:24:42,244
You can just pick me up like
Genny when she was a baby.
1385
01:24:42,244 --> 01:24:45,414
You probably don't remember how
I used to pick your sister Genny
1386
01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:50,419
up when she'd fall asleep
watching Chiller Theater.
1387
01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:52,671
I saw you bought Bisquick.
1388
01:24:52,671 --> 01:24:57,676
If it's Saturday,
will you make biscuits?
1389
01:25:05,183 --> 01:25:10,188
-[groans]
1390
01:25:18,196 --> 01:25:22,409
-I'm afraid there's, uh,
been a bit of an emergency.
1391
01:25:22,409 --> 01:25:27,414
Um, you know Ida, my ex wife?
1392
01:25:28,582 --> 01:25:33,587
Well, she's been,
uh, taken ill, uh,
1393
01:25:34,588 --> 01:25:38,008
so I will-- I will
have to be gone for,
1394
01:25:38,008 --> 01:25:43,013
uh, a few days.
1395
01:25:45,015 --> 01:25:50,020
-[gasps]
1396
01:25:57,652 --> 01:25:59,237
-[woman on phone]
And-- and lower down,
1397
01:25:59,237 --> 01:26:01,073
a white, cloud like fungus.
1398
01:26:01,073 --> 01:26:04,284
-[Earl VO] Ah, the beginnings
of chocolate landsites.
1399
01:26:04,284 --> 01:26:05,994
-[woman on phone]
Oh, is that bad?
1400
01:26:05,994 --> 01:26:08,038
Does that mean it's dead?
1401
01:26:08,038 --> 01:26:10,665
I'm afraid this tree will
fall over and damage my roof.
1402
01:26:10,665 --> 01:26:13,293
-[Earl VO] [chanting]
♪Tree, tree, tree.♪
1403
01:26:13,293 --> 01:26:16,088
♪Tree, tree, tree.♪
1404
01:26:16,088 --> 01:26:18,632
♪Tree, tree, tree.♪
1405
01:26:18,632 --> 01:26:23,637
♪Tree, tree, tree.♪
1406
01:26:24,471 --> 01:26:29,476
I had, in my backyard, a
Dutch elm riddled with disease,
1407
01:26:32,479 --> 01:26:35,857
felled by a moth.
1408
01:26:35,857 --> 01:26:40,779
It stood still, wobbly legged,
saved by the bell and waiting
1409
01:26:40,779 --> 01:26:42,697
for the end.
1410
01:26:42,697 --> 01:26:47,702
Finally, last year, it was
uprooted during a March tempest.
1411
01:26:49,704 --> 01:26:53,875
I heard the deep crack
and a dopplered creak.
1412
01:26:53,875 --> 01:26:58,880
[tree crashes to the ground]
1413
01:26:59,506 --> 01:27:02,801
-[Earl VO] But only
woke momentarily.
1414
01:27:02,801 --> 01:27:06,555
Then back to sleep.
1415
01:27:06,555 --> 01:27:10,183
Two sleepers on my land now.
1416
01:27:10,183 --> 01:27:14,187
In the morning, when I
went out to survey the yard,
1417
01:27:14,187 --> 01:27:17,899
the sky now opened
like a great sheet,
1418
01:27:17,899 --> 01:27:21,653
and laying down
amongst the flowers,
1419
01:27:21,653 --> 01:27:23,780
the giantess.
1420
01:27:23,780 --> 01:27:28,285
I go and fetch my
chainsaw to cut up the carcass.
1421
01:27:28,285 --> 01:27:33,123
I walk by the stump from
the storm of '68 and I stop,
1422
01:27:33,123 --> 01:27:38,128
for there, growing from one side
at a desperate tangent is a new
1423
01:27:39,963 --> 01:27:44,968
branch, life growing
from the presumed dead.
1424
01:27:45,218 --> 01:27:46,511
Which is sadder?
1425
01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:51,516
A funeral or a wedding?
1426
01:28:11,244 --> 01:28:12,287
Hello.
1427
01:28:12,287 --> 01:28:15,081
How is she?
1428
01:28:15,081 --> 01:28:20,086
-I think she's sleeping.
1429
01:28:34,851 --> 01:28:37,771
-[Earl] I'm
examining the collar.
1430
01:28:37,771 --> 01:28:42,776
I was hoping it might
be amanita vaginata,
1431
01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:44,236
but it is not.
1432
01:28:44,236 --> 01:28:48,448
It is amanita virosa.
1433
01:28:48,448 --> 01:28:52,911
I'm sorry.
1434
01:28:52,911 --> 01:28:54,829
[kettle whistles]
1435
01:28:54,829 --> 01:28:57,249
-Would you like some tea?
1436
01:28:57,249 --> 01:28:58,959
-Perhaps.
1437
01:28:58,959 --> 01:29:00,710
Yes.
1438
01:29:00,710 --> 01:29:03,088
♪mournful folk music♪
1439
01:29:03,088 --> 01:29:05,549
-[woman singing]
♪We stand atop♪
1440
01:29:05,549 --> 01:29:09,886
♪At the throne of the hill♪
1441
01:29:09,886 --> 01:29:14,891
♪There's a chimney so tall♪
1442
01:29:20,438 --> 01:29:25,443
♪But there's no
smoke at all♪
1443
01:29:26,903 --> 01:29:28,446
[thunder crashes]
1444
01:29:28,446 --> 01:29:31,575
-[woman singing]
♪Coming out of that stack♪
1445
01:29:31,575 --> 01:29:36,580
-[sobs]
1446
01:29:40,875 --> 01:29:45,088
-[woman singing] ♪And
the only sound I hear♪
1447
01:29:45,088 --> 01:29:49,426
♪Is the cry of the wind♪
1448
01:29:49,426 --> 01:29:53,930
♪As it blows
through the town♪
1449
01:29:53,930 --> 01:29:57,225
♪Weave and spin,
weave and spin♪
1450
01:29:57,225 --> 01:30:00,312
-Hello.
1451
01:30:00,312 --> 01:30:04,941
-[woman singing] ♪There's
no children at all♪
1452
01:30:04,941 --> 01:30:09,571
♪In the narrow
twisting streets♪
1453
01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:14,034
♪Since the mill
has closed down♪
1454
01:30:14,034 --> 01:30:19,039
♪It's so quiet
I can't sleep♪
1455
01:30:20,165 --> 01:30:25,086
♪Now I'm too old to change♪
1456
01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:29,591
♪And too young to die♪
1457
01:30:29,591 --> 01:30:33,887
♪Wonder what will become♪
1458
01:30:33,887 --> 01:30:38,892
♪Of my old man and I♪
1459
01:30:40,602 --> 01:30:44,898
♪And the only sound I hear♪
1460
01:30:44,898 --> 01:30:49,527
♪Is the cry of the wind♪
1461
01:30:49,527 --> 01:30:53,281
♪As it blows
through the town♪
1462
01:30:53,281 --> 01:30:58,286
♪Weave and spin,
weave and spin♪
1463
01:31:20,850 --> 01:31:21,893
[applause]
1464
01:31:21,893 --> 01:31:24,562
-[theatre host] Ida-- Ida Gray.
1465
01:31:24,562 --> 01:31:27,982
-[giggles]
1466
01:31:32,529 --> 01:31:36,825
[gunshot]
1467
01:31:36,825 --> 01:31:40,245
-[Peabody] Well, I asked that
Mr. Coil be here because your
1468
01:31:40,245 --> 01:31:43,540
employment is supported through
the county empowerment program,
1469
01:31:43,540 --> 01:31:45,750
and he is our liaison.
1470
01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:47,502
That's the only reason.
1471
01:31:47,502 --> 01:31:50,880
-[Victor] So-- so what you're
talking about here is a demotion
1472
01:31:50,880 --> 01:31:55,885
to no more than, well, a--
a-- a glorified paper boy.
1473
01:31:55,885 --> 01:31:57,512
-[Peabody] I
wouldn't say that, Victor.
1474
01:31:57,512 --> 01:31:58,722
-[Coil] Oh, no, Victor.
1475
01:31:58,722 --> 01:32:00,807
-[Peabody] We consider our
rural customers a very--
1476
01:32:00,807 --> 01:32:04,227
-[Victor] Mr-- Mr. Shampling,
I-- I-- I had no inkling,
1477
01:32:04,227 --> 01:32:09,190
sir, that my work has been
anything less than satisfactory.
1478
01:32:09,190 --> 01:32:10,275
-[Coil] Oh, you know--
1479
01:32:10,275 --> 01:32:11,818
-[Peabody] Um, we've
met numerous times,
1480
01:32:11,818 --> 01:32:13,653
and I-- I've
tried to explain--
1481
01:32:13,653 --> 01:32:15,029
-[Victor] Another-- another
1482
01:32:15,029 --> 01:32:18,158
thing, I don't know why we
need to have a third party here,
1483
01:32:18,158 --> 01:32:19,617
uh, Peabody.
1484
01:32:19,617 --> 01:32:23,455
-[Coil] Well, Victor, you know,
I'm-- I consider myself more of
1485
01:32:23,455 --> 01:32:27,917
a partner than a third party.
1486
01:32:27,917 --> 01:32:30,962
Mr. Shampling and I
have discussed this,
1487
01:32:30,962 --> 01:32:34,841
and we think that this career
path is more suitable for..
1488
01:32:34,841 --> 01:32:36,593
someone of your...
1489
01:32:36,593 --> 01:32:37,719
skill level.
1490
01:32:37,719 --> 01:32:39,512
-Uh, and what
does-- what do you,
1491
01:32:39,512 --> 01:32:41,222
uh, know of me?
1492
01:32:41,222 --> 01:32:43,475
-Oh, well, quite
a bit, actually.
1493
01:32:43,475 --> 01:32:44,809
-[Victor] Oh, oh do you?
1494
01:32:44,809 --> 01:32:48,188
Well that's very interesting,
since you're a total stranger,
1495
01:32:48,188 --> 01:32:49,272
and--
1496
01:32:49,272 --> 01:32:50,231
-[Peabody] Well,
come on now, Victor--
1497
01:32:50,231 --> 01:32:51,274
-What do-- what do people say?
1498
01:32:51,274 --> 01:32:51,983
What do they say?
1499
01:32:51,983 --> 01:32:52,942
Don't talk to strangers.
1500
01:32:52,942 --> 01:32:54,027
Right?
1501
01:32:54,027 --> 01:32:55,278
-[Coil] Please don't
think of us as strangers.
1502
01:32:55,278 --> 01:32:59,741
-Victor, I truly feel that this
is the best I can offer you and
1503
01:32:59,741 --> 01:33:02,952
still do a competent job
running the newspaper.
1504
01:33:02,952 --> 01:33:05,330
-And you're still
part of the team.
1505
01:33:05,330 --> 01:33:08,583
-I mean, we all
like you very much.
1506
01:33:08,583 --> 01:33:09,292
-Yes.
1507
01:33:09,292 --> 01:33:10,293
-But--
1508
01:33:10,293 --> 01:33:13,713
-But Mr. Shampling, I-- I think
I'm a likable guy in many ways.
1509
01:33:13,713 --> 01:33:14,631
-[Coil] Definitely.
1510
01:33:14,631 --> 01:33:15,507
-[Peabody] Yes, yes you are.
1511
01:33:15,507 --> 01:33:16,424
-Definitely.
1512
01:33:16,424 --> 01:33:18,426
-And I just feel that this
position will give you more time
1513
01:33:18,426 --> 01:33:19,469
to relax.
1514
01:33:19,469 --> 01:33:22,222
And also, you'll be outdoors.
1515
01:33:22,222 --> 01:33:23,473
-Now wouldn't that be nice?
1516
01:33:23,473 --> 01:33:25,892
-Gardener's Corners is brought
to you today-- does anybody mind
1517
01:33:25,892 --> 01:33:26,976
if I smoke?
1518
01:33:26,976 --> 01:33:28,102
-Uh--
-I need a cigarette.
1519
01:33:28,102 --> 01:33:29,187
[chuckles nervously]
1520
01:33:29,187 --> 01:33:30,146
-Should I give him a cigarette?
1521
01:33:30,146 --> 01:33:31,689
-[Peabody] I'm really
sorry about all this, Victor.
1522
01:33:31,689 --> 01:33:35,193
-I-- I-- I feel like I have-- I
have put a lot of work into this
1523
01:33:35,193 --> 01:33:36,069
paper--
1524
01:33:36,069 --> 01:33:37,821
-[Coil] Oh-- well yes.
1525
01:33:37,821 --> 01:33:39,072
-And, over the years--
1526
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:41,366
-Hey, you have, and
we appreciate that.
1527
01:33:41,366 --> 01:33:45,245
-And now, to find
myself, um, um,
1528
01:33:45,245 --> 01:33:48,039
uh, delivering papers is just a
lit-- a little disappointing.
1529
01:33:48,039 --> 01:33:49,833
-[Coil] Okay.
1530
01:33:49,833 --> 01:33:51,251
That's understandable.
1531
01:33:51,251 --> 01:33:53,086
-And-- and it's-- I don't know
that if it's ut-- utilizing,
1532
01:33:53,086 --> 01:33:54,379
um, my strengths.
1533
01:33:54,379 --> 01:33:55,463
-[Coil] Okay.
1534
01:33:55,463 --> 01:33:56,840
-And that's-- I'm
just asking, uh,
1535
01:33:56,840 --> 01:34:01,636
that maybe, uh, uh, that you
should utilize my strengths.
1536
01:34:01,636 --> 01:34:03,805
That's all-- all I'm asking.
1537
01:34:03,805 --> 01:34:08,810
♪melancholy piano music♪
1538
01:34:40,300 --> 01:34:43,887
-[Gentian] And so I will
recite a favorite ballad of my
1539
01:34:43,887 --> 01:34:48,892
mother's, in remembrance.
1540
01:34:49,100 --> 01:34:54,105
[sings off key] ♪Oh, all
the money that e'er I spent♪
1541
01:34:54,397 --> 01:34:59,027
♪Oh I spent it
in good company♪
1542
01:34:59,027 --> 01:35:03,865
♪And all the harm
that e'er I've done♪
1543
01:35:03,865 --> 01:35:08,870
♪Alas, it was
to none but me♪
1544
01:35:08,912 --> 01:35:13,917
♪And all I've done
for want of wit♪
1545
01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:18,963
♪To memory now,
I can't recall♪
1546
01:35:19,547 --> 01:35:24,552
♪So hand to me
the parting glass♪
1547
01:35:24,677 --> 01:35:29,682
[all join in] ♪Farewell
and join me with you all♪
1548
01:35:54,916 --> 01:35:57,961
-[Earl] Hello, Sister!
1549
01:35:57,961 --> 01:35:59,545
I'm back.
1550
01:35:59,545 --> 01:36:00,922
-[groans]
1551
01:36:00,922 --> 01:36:03,174
-[Earl] I'm so
sorry for the delay.
1552
01:36:03,174 --> 01:36:07,637
You won't believe this, but
Ida passed away the other day.
1553
01:36:07,637 --> 01:36:10,974
[cat meows]
1554
01:36:10,974 --> 01:36:15,103
-Genny and I have been very
busy with the funeral and all.
1555
01:36:15,103 --> 01:36:20,108
So I hope you managed to
scrape together enough meals.
1556
01:36:21,192 --> 01:36:22,068
Hello!
1557
01:36:22,068 --> 01:36:23,277
-[murmurs]
1558
01:36:23,277 --> 01:36:24,988
-[Earl] Hello.
1559
01:36:24,988 --> 01:36:29,993
Oh, there you are,
right there in bed.
1560
01:36:31,494 --> 01:36:34,789
You look a little peaked.
1561
01:36:34,789 --> 01:36:36,374
Let me see.
1562
01:36:36,374 --> 01:36:40,795
Oh, bad fever.
1563
01:36:40,795 --> 01:36:44,132
Let's see how
that leg is healing.
1564
01:36:44,132 --> 01:36:49,137
-[groans]
1565
01:36:50,596 --> 01:36:55,601
-[Earl] Mm, that-- that
doesn't look very good.
1566
01:36:56,352 --> 01:36:59,439
I think I'll get my things.
1567
01:36:59,439 --> 01:37:04,444
♪foreboding
acoustic guitar music♪
1568
01:37:56,537 --> 01:37:59,999
-[Earl] [mutters]
1569
01:38:43,417 --> 01:38:47,922
-[Victor] Daily Suggester!
1570
01:38:50,883 --> 01:38:53,094
Paper!
1571
01:38:53,094 --> 01:38:57,098
[police siren]
1572
01:38:57,098 --> 01:39:01,477
Get your paper!
1573
01:39:01,477 --> 01:39:03,604
Paper's here!
1574
01:39:03,604 --> 01:39:07,859
[police sirens]
1575
01:39:07,859 --> 01:39:12,864
-[Victor] Get your paper!
1576
01:39:15,199 --> 01:39:16,909
Daily Suggester!
1577
01:39:16,909 --> 01:39:19,328
Paper delivery!
1578
01:39:19,328 --> 01:39:20,121
Get your paper!
1579
01:39:20,121 --> 01:39:23,082
-[officer] Place your
hands above your head, sir.
1580
01:39:23,082 --> 01:39:25,418
All right, sir, just place
the parcel on the ground,
1581
01:39:25,418 --> 01:39:26,627
please.
1582
01:39:26,627 --> 01:39:28,504
-[sobs] Y-- yes.
1583
01:39:28,504 --> 01:39:31,507
-[officer] Do not raise
the object as if to a god.
1584
01:39:31,507 --> 01:39:35,970
-[Earl] Please,
everything is under control.
1585
01:39:35,970 --> 01:39:36,721
W-- wait!
1586
01:39:36,721 --> 01:39:37,305
Wait!
1587
01:39:37,305 --> 01:39:38,055
Don't, don't!
1588
01:39:38,055 --> 01:39:40,016
-[officer] Do not
resist the deputy, thank you.
1589
01:39:40,016 --> 01:39:40,933
-[Earl] Do not move the patient.
1590
01:39:40,933 --> 01:39:42,185
She is my patient!
1591
01:39:42,185 --> 01:39:44,020
I am her doctor.
1592
01:39:44,020 --> 01:39:49,025
[police sirens
recede into distance]
1593
01:39:59,076 --> 01:40:03,998
-Hello, paperboy.
1594
01:40:04,707 --> 01:40:08,169
Paper man.
1595
01:40:08,169 --> 01:40:12,215
[bangs on door]
1596
01:40:16,594 --> 01:40:19,555
What's in here?
1597
01:40:30,983 --> 01:40:35,988
Here's a picture.
1598
01:41:27,832 --> 01:41:30,876
-So, Mr. Gray, during your
scuffle with the arresting
1599
01:41:30,876 --> 01:41:35,840
officers, you said that you
were Sister Lithobin's doctor.
1600
01:41:35,840 --> 01:41:40,678
-Yes, I believe I
cried that out.
1601
01:41:40,678 --> 01:41:43,472
-And who authorized
this relationship?
1602
01:41:43,472 --> 01:41:46,517
-It was in the heat of the
moment that I accepted that
1603
01:41:46,517 --> 01:41:47,977
role.
1604
01:41:47,977 --> 01:41:49,854
-Are you a doctor?
1605
01:41:49,854 --> 01:41:54,859
-Not in the strictest sense, but
in a more liberal application,
1606
01:41:55,735 --> 01:41:58,070
uh, yes, I am.
1607
01:41:58,070 --> 01:42:00,448
I am a horticulturalist.
1608
01:42:00,448 --> 01:42:03,409
-Do you understand that you're
being charged with kidnapping,
1609
01:42:03,409 --> 01:42:05,453
torture, and dismemberment?
1610
01:42:05,453 --> 01:42:08,706
-A necessary amputation
performed with compassion,
1611
01:42:08,706 --> 01:42:12,376
scalded instruments, and only
after administering a stupefying
1612
01:42:12,376 --> 01:42:14,712
dose of opium.
1613
01:42:14,712 --> 01:42:16,339
-Was this taken from a hospital?
1614
01:42:16,339 --> 01:42:17,673
-[laughs] Oh, no!
1615
01:42:17,673 --> 01:42:18,841
I-- I grow my own.
1616
01:42:18,841 --> 01:42:20,134
-Interesting.
1617
01:42:20,134 --> 01:42:22,678
-Uh, [laughs]
amongst things, I mean,
1618
01:42:22,678 --> 01:42:24,263
as well as other things.
1619
01:42:24,263 --> 01:42:27,641
Uh, uh, comfrey,
basil, hart's tongue,
1620
01:42:27,641 --> 01:42:28,768
wolf bane.
1621
01:42:28,768 --> 01:42:30,019
-Earl?
1622
01:42:30,019 --> 01:42:32,063
Why don't you just
tell us what happened,
1623
01:42:32,063 --> 01:42:33,939
in terms of a statement?
1624
01:42:33,939 --> 01:42:35,566
And we can assign
you an attorney,
1625
01:42:35,566 --> 01:42:38,402
and then we can all go home.
1626
01:42:38,402 --> 01:42:43,407
-[chuckles] Home,
home, I-- I have no home.
1627
01:42:44,283 --> 01:42:45,993
Bela Lugosi.
1628
01:42:45,993 --> 01:42:50,623
-We weren't
referring to you, buddy.
1629
01:42:50,623 --> 01:42:53,584
-No, I suspected not.
1630
01:42:53,584 --> 01:42:56,379
[chuckles] Well, will-- will
this statement be considered as
1631
01:42:56,379 --> 01:42:57,880
evidence?
1632
01:42:57,880 --> 01:43:02,218
-Only if you care to
make a confession.
1633
01:43:02,218 --> 01:43:07,223
-Oddly enough, oddly enough, I
think I would care to make a
1634
01:43:07,390 --> 01:43:08,140
confession.
1635
01:43:08,140 --> 01:43:12,937
Yes.
1636
01:43:13,562 --> 01:43:17,650
-Jerry, do you have
that mic somewhere?
1637
01:43:17,650 --> 01:43:20,403
-[Earl] Suck the poison...
1638
01:43:20,403 --> 01:43:21,946
out!
1639
01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:23,114
Out!
1640
01:43:23,114 --> 01:43:26,283
Out of here!
1641
01:43:26,283 --> 01:43:28,661
Oh my God, this is beautiful.
1642
01:43:28,661 --> 01:43:31,163
Do-- do you
realize what this is?
1643
01:43:31,163 --> 01:43:33,541
This is the
Webster ribbon Duovel,
1644
01:43:33,541 --> 01:43:38,379
model 1247 with
original fabric cord.
1645
01:43:38,379 --> 01:43:43,384
Oh, and the Wallen Sec 1500 SS.
1646
01:43:45,136 --> 01:43:47,346
-Now just plug this in.
1647
01:43:47,346 --> 01:43:49,932
-Can I, uh, start?
1648
01:43:49,932 --> 01:43:53,853
-And..there.
1649
01:43:53,853 --> 01:43:55,688
-[clears throat]
1650
01:43:55,688 --> 01:44:00,693
As is well documented,
I am a giving person.
1651
01:44:02,153 --> 01:44:05,739
I lived happily
with my wife, Ida,
1652
01:44:05,739 --> 01:44:10,494
and my daughter, Gentian,
in a beautiful farmhouse.
1653
01:44:10,494 --> 01:44:14,832
In the very same house that
you found me at yesterday.
1654
01:44:14,832 --> 01:44:19,336
In September 1966,
for some reason,
1655
01:44:19,336 --> 01:44:23,340
we decided that we
had love to spare.
1656
01:44:23,340 --> 01:44:28,345
And so we volunteered as foster
parents in a program called
1657
01:44:29,472 --> 01:44:31,891
Families in Crisis.
1658
01:44:31,891 --> 01:44:34,894
It wasn't complete generosity.
1659
01:44:34,894 --> 01:44:39,607
We had only sired one
child due to endometriosis.
1660
01:44:39,607 --> 01:44:43,819
And we had wished to
have some playmates around.
1661
01:44:43,819 --> 01:44:48,115
And yes, more little hands to
pull up weeds and thin carrots.
1662
01:44:48,115 --> 01:44:50,451
Look on the ground.
1663
01:44:50,451 --> 01:44:52,161
Look at the cracks.
1664
01:44:52,161 --> 01:44:54,205
Look at the weeds.
1665
01:44:54,205 --> 01:44:58,667
They creep through the
cracks between the stones,
1666
01:44:58,667 --> 01:45:03,672
toads laid, thistle, grasping
bouquets of towering lousewort.
1667
01:45:05,090 --> 01:45:07,468
-What are you
talking about, Mr. Gray?
1668
01:45:07,468 --> 01:45:09,178
-This is all relevant.
1669
01:45:09,178 --> 01:45:12,765
Just be patient with me here.
1670
01:45:12,765 --> 01:45:16,644
Well, on the day that I had
learned of our beneficiaries'
1671
01:45:16,644 --> 01:45:21,148
identity, I was struck
with a pang of guilt,
1672
01:45:21,148 --> 01:45:25,027
because they were not
strangers, but the Blues,
1673
01:45:25,027 --> 01:45:28,572
a family who I myself had
reported to the authorities
1674
01:45:28,572 --> 01:45:32,826
numerous times for
sanitation reasons,
1675
01:45:32,826 --> 01:45:37,831
as well as some domestic
disturbances I'd observed.
1676
01:45:38,332 --> 01:45:42,461
But to be fair to myself, it
was not a healthy place for
1677
01:45:42,461 --> 01:45:44,171
children.
1678
01:45:44,171 --> 01:45:47,258
Both the parents
were-- were drunks.
1679
01:45:47,258 --> 01:45:49,969
[chuckles] Well,
basically, hillbillies,
1680
01:45:49,969 --> 01:45:52,388
to be honest.
1681
01:45:52,388 --> 01:45:54,181
-[officer VO] Well this is a
fine little stroll down memory
1682
01:45:54,181 --> 01:45:56,308
lane.
1683
01:45:56,308 --> 01:45:58,811
-[Earl VO] Yes,
uh, memory lane, uh,
1684
01:45:58,811 --> 01:46:03,816
around weathered footpaths,
pokeweed and stinking Benjamin
1685
01:46:04,233 --> 01:46:07,027
greet you.
1686
01:46:07,027 --> 01:46:11,031
You know, all it takes
is that little leak,
1687
01:46:11,031 --> 01:46:13,242
that chink in the
armor to cast, uh,
1688
01:46:13,242 --> 01:46:17,496
the shadow of a doubt.
1689
01:46:17,496 --> 01:46:22,501
Gentleman, though I-- I
ramble, all that I say is vital.
1690
01:46:23,210 --> 01:46:25,421
[thunder crashes]
1691
01:46:25,421 --> 01:46:27,423
-On the day that
the children arrived,
1692
01:46:27,423 --> 01:46:30,593
Ida and I was
sitting in our parlor.
1693
01:46:30,593 --> 01:46:33,178
We heard a car approaching.
1694
01:46:33,178 --> 01:46:34,972
We gave each other a look.
1695
01:46:34,972 --> 01:46:37,266
"Hmm, what are we doing?"
1696
01:46:37,266 --> 01:46:39,768
And rose to greet them.
1697
01:46:39,768 --> 01:46:44,565
From the walk, we witnessed
a strange disembarkment.
1698
01:46:44,565 --> 01:46:48,485
The driver stepped
out with a clipboard.
1699
01:46:48,485 --> 01:46:52,531
I realized it was Mr. Coil, the
man who came for tea the other
1700
01:46:52,531 --> 01:46:53,866
week.
1701
01:46:53,866 --> 01:46:58,037
Then Miss
Shiffly, his accomplice.
1702
01:46:58,037 --> 01:47:00,873
Then Coil
approached to the back door,
1703
01:47:00,873 --> 01:47:05,628
opened it, and out came
to wobbly legged children.
1704
01:47:05,628 --> 01:47:08,172
As they came forward,
another passenger remained.
1705
01:47:08,172 --> 01:47:10,591
It was Doris, their mother.
1706
01:47:10,591 --> 01:47:15,512
Miss Shiffly was talking to her,
but she didn't leave the car.
1707
01:47:15,512 --> 01:47:20,476
She began to wail as
the children came closer.
1708
01:47:20,476 --> 01:47:23,270
My daughter, Gentian,
who was six at the time,
1709
01:47:23,270 --> 01:47:27,441
asked the girl, Lydia, if she
would like to play hospital.
1710
01:47:27,441 --> 01:47:31,528
Hospital was a
slow moving affair,
1711
01:47:31,528 --> 01:47:35,616
where dolls of varying sizes
were set up on a cardboard box
1712
01:47:35,616 --> 01:47:40,621
bed with bandages and splints
and squirts of ketchup that had
1713
01:47:41,205 --> 01:47:44,625
soaked through the
various dressings.
1714
01:47:44,625 --> 01:47:48,337
Victor immediately began
attending one of the dolls,
1715
01:47:48,337 --> 01:47:52,132
and then Lydia joined
in, and then Genny.
1716
01:47:52,132 --> 01:47:55,678
Together, in determined silence,
they tended the wounded and
1717
01:47:55,678 --> 01:47:58,389
maimed dolls.
1718
01:47:58,389 --> 01:48:03,102
Out of the window I could see
Doris Blue's body cowering in
1719
01:48:03,102 --> 01:48:05,562
Mr. Coil's car.
1720
01:48:05,562 --> 01:48:09,024
The sound of distant
crying filled the house,
1721
01:48:09,024 --> 01:48:13,904
then faded as they drove away.
1722
01:48:13,904 --> 01:48:16,532
The children stayed
with us, and their mother,
1723
01:48:16,532 --> 01:48:21,161
Doris, would take them
home on alternate weekends.
1724
01:48:21,161 --> 01:48:23,831
We formed a bit
of a social unit,
1725
01:48:23,831 --> 01:48:27,793
filling the house with the
family sounds that Ida and I had
1726
01:48:27,793 --> 01:48:29,878
envisioned.
1727
01:48:29,878 --> 01:48:33,298
During the first year the
Blue children were with us,
1728
01:48:33,298 --> 01:48:38,137
Doris began to stay longer
and several times slept on the
1729
01:48:38,137 --> 01:48:40,222
couch.
1730
01:48:40,222 --> 01:48:43,559
You see, at the time
that I found Doris Blue,
1731
01:48:43,559 --> 01:48:47,521
she was highly susceptible
to delight [chuckles] and the
1732
01:48:47,521 --> 01:48:50,315
clandestine love
of another man was,
1733
01:48:50,315 --> 01:48:53,152
uh, too much to resist.
1734
01:48:53,152 --> 01:48:54,945
Don't you think?
1735
01:48:54,945 --> 01:48:57,364
Ida could see right through me.
1736
01:48:57,364 --> 01:48:59,575
I am a terrible liar.
1737
01:48:59,575 --> 01:49:04,580
And our altruistic
venture imploded.
1738
01:49:04,705 --> 01:49:06,290
See the cracks?
1739
01:49:06,290 --> 01:49:09,084
Look at this
place, peeling paper,
1740
01:49:09,084 --> 01:49:12,254
lathe board, bending floors.
1741
01:49:12,254 --> 01:49:16,592
One day...
1742
01:49:16,592 --> 01:49:20,763
One day a visit from the welfare
department did not go in our
1743
01:49:20,763 --> 01:49:22,598
favor.
1744
01:49:22,598 --> 01:49:27,603
And the Blue children were
given back to Doris and Larry.
1745
01:49:27,728 --> 01:49:30,355
My best laid plans...
1746
01:49:30,355 --> 01:49:32,274
[chuckles]
1747
01:49:32,274 --> 01:49:35,694
[baby sounds]
1748
01:49:35,694 --> 01:49:39,448
-[Earl VO] The Blues held
court for a year or so.
1749
01:49:39,448 --> 01:49:42,826
We attempted to maintain
some sort of connection.
1750
01:49:42,826 --> 01:49:46,663
Our families even managed
to muster up a few picnics,
1751
01:49:46,663 --> 01:49:49,500
but there was too
much atmosphere.
1752
01:49:49,500 --> 01:49:52,419
You can't hide these things.
1753
01:49:52,419 --> 01:49:55,047
The laughter of a simpleton.
1754
01:49:55,047 --> 01:49:59,927
"Take a picture of an adulter
photographing his cuckold.
1755
01:49:59,927 --> 01:50:01,637
Hold still!"
1756
01:50:01,637 --> 01:50:06,350
[chuckles] Sometimes, I-- I
would fabricate humanitarian
1757
01:50:06,350 --> 01:50:08,393
visits to the trailer.
1758
01:50:08,393 --> 01:50:11,146
"Just here to work
on the dog's house!"
1759
01:50:11,146 --> 01:50:16,151
But Larry grew more lucid, and I
less convincing in my charity.
1760
01:50:17,486 --> 01:50:22,199
Wipe his nose, then meet
downtown at the Cromwell,
1761
01:50:22,199 --> 01:50:25,786
while your husband and
children chase the sacrament.
1762
01:50:25,786 --> 01:50:28,705
"Quick, Doris, to the thicket!"
1763
01:50:28,705 --> 01:50:32,334
See us steal away through
town, through the forest.
1764
01:50:32,334 --> 01:50:36,547
A midnight encounter
with another man's wife.
1765
01:50:36,547 --> 01:50:41,552
We lay down in a vacant
lot, nesting in fallow fields.
1766
01:50:41,927 --> 01:50:45,722
Between our legs grow
clusters of horehound,
1767
01:50:45,722 --> 01:50:47,933
or silky volvarian.
1768
01:50:47,933 --> 01:50:52,229
And I, clicking away.
1769
01:50:52,229 --> 01:50:56,275
Ph-- photography is
kind of my hobby.
1770
01:50:56,275 --> 01:50:59,278
I like to chronicle my life.
1771
01:50:59,278 --> 01:51:03,866
I never intended them
for public viewing.
1772
01:51:03,866 --> 01:51:07,119
It's a private collection.
1773
01:51:07,119 --> 01:51:09,997
That's me in the foreground.
1774
01:51:09,997 --> 01:51:12,916
And-- and Doris on the bed.
1775
01:51:12,916 --> 01:51:16,628
I call it "Two Nudes."
1776
01:51:16,628 --> 01:51:21,174
This was one I took a couple
of years ago after Ida and I
1777
01:51:21,174 --> 01:51:23,552
divorced.
1778
01:51:23,552 --> 01:51:27,723
It-- it's an older
Lydia at McKee's Pool.
1779
01:51:27,723 --> 01:51:32,728
[choking up] I-- I call
it "Lydia with Cards."
1780
01:51:33,186 --> 01:51:38,191
[sniffles] I-- I thought it was
an interesting character study.
1781
01:51:40,110 --> 01:51:44,948
[sobs]
1782
01:51:44,948 --> 01:51:49,328
-Um, I'm sorry, but I am not
sure what this has to do with
1783
01:51:49,328 --> 01:51:51,371
us.
1784
01:51:51,371 --> 01:51:53,457
-Sorry.
1785
01:51:53,457 --> 01:51:56,668
You're-- you're right.
1786
01:51:56,668 --> 01:52:00,213
Th-- this has
nothing to do with you.
1787
01:52:00,213 --> 01:52:04,426
I'm sorry I
brought you into this.
1788
01:52:04,426 --> 01:52:06,803
-Now Mr. Gray, did
you hold this nun,
1789
01:52:06,803 --> 01:52:10,015
Sister Mary
Lithobin, against her will?
1790
01:52:10,015 --> 01:52:13,018
And did harm come to
her at your hands?
1791
01:52:13,018 --> 01:52:15,687
-[Earl VO] Beautifully put.
1792
01:52:15,687 --> 01:52:20,317
You are an amazing
master of the spoken word.
1793
01:52:20,317 --> 01:52:24,696
I held this woman, Doris
Blue, against her will.
1794
01:52:24,696 --> 01:52:29,701
And harm came to her at
the touch of my hands.
1795
01:52:29,993 --> 01:52:33,288
-[officer VO] Does this Doris
Blue have any bearing on this
1796
01:52:33,288 --> 01:52:34,873
case?
1797
01:52:34,873 --> 01:52:36,333
-[Earl VO] Uh, what
ever do you mean?
1798
01:52:36,333 --> 01:52:39,753
Sister Mary
Lithobin is Doris Blue!
1799
01:52:39,753 --> 01:52:44,049
I thought that was understood.
1800
01:52:44,049 --> 01:52:48,762
Doris, you see, was committed a
few years into our romance to
1801
01:52:48,762 --> 01:52:52,641
the Holy Angels Sanitarium.
1802
01:52:52,641 --> 01:52:57,646
Larry, Larry would roam the
woods in the hide of a deer
1803
01:52:57,896 --> 01:53:02,901
until he came upon our fence to
get a glimpse of his children at
1804
01:53:03,652 --> 01:53:05,278
play.
1805
01:53:05,278 --> 01:53:10,283
Victor's body can be seen
wandering around in the gusset.
1806
01:53:13,203 --> 01:53:18,208
And some say you can still see
the ghost of Lydia around the
1807
01:53:18,750 --> 01:53:22,295
ruins of that trailer.
1808
01:53:22,295 --> 01:53:26,842
[laughs] I-- I am sorry.
1809
01:53:26,842 --> 01:53:30,053
I digress.
1810
01:53:30,053 --> 01:53:33,765
Well, after several
years in the psycho ward,
1811
01:53:33,765 --> 01:53:36,601
Doris was ready for release.
1812
01:53:36,601 --> 01:53:41,606
But as many have before her was
persuaded by the most Reverend
1813
01:53:42,149 --> 01:53:47,154
Mother Beatrice Elastica, to
instead join the order as a
1814
01:53:48,238 --> 01:53:53,243
novitiate, Sister Mary Lithobin.
1815
01:53:53,535 --> 01:53:58,165
I used to see her up there
on visitation days after my
1816
01:53:58,165 --> 01:54:01,877
divorce, passing as family.
1817
01:54:01,877 --> 01:54:05,255
That's how I know these things.
1818
01:54:05,255 --> 01:54:07,466
May I use your bathroom?
1819
01:54:07,466 --> 01:54:11,303
I might be having diarrhea, and
I feel I might soil myself if
1820
01:54:11,303 --> 01:54:12,512
I--
1821
01:54:12,512 --> 01:54:14,389
-[officer VO] Larry, can you
take this nut to the bathroom?
1822
01:54:14,389 --> 01:54:17,517
[phone rings]
1823
01:54:17,517 --> 01:54:22,522
-[Elastica] Exit at
the front entrance, please.
1824
01:54:22,522 --> 01:54:27,527
-Just between you and I, there
are quite a few "ex psychotics"
1825
01:54:27,944 --> 01:54:30,697
giving their life
to God up there.
1826
01:54:30,697 --> 01:54:34,659
[laughs] A secret society.
1827
01:54:34,659 --> 01:54:36,495
-Interesting.
1828
01:54:36,495 --> 01:54:39,873
-Yes, very.
1829
01:54:39,873 --> 01:54:42,334
But-- but I've said too much.
1830
01:54:42,334 --> 01:54:47,339
I'm kind of tattling now.
1831
01:54:49,549 --> 01:54:52,010
-[Elastica VO]
Run, run, my friends.
1832
01:54:52,010 --> 01:54:53,220
Go, go.
1833
01:54:53,220 --> 01:54:54,513
Be free.
1834
01:54:54,513 --> 01:54:58,225
Run and find your souls.
1835
01:54:58,225 --> 01:55:01,269
Rush, but be careful.
1836
01:55:01,269 --> 01:55:06,274
[phone rings]
1837
01:55:09,986 --> 01:55:13,073
-My tears flow to nurture...
1838
01:55:13,073 --> 01:55:18,078
[mutters incoherently]
1839
01:55:21,373 --> 01:55:23,583
-What the--?
1840
01:55:23,583 --> 01:55:25,127
Mr-- Mr. Gray!
1841
01:55:25,127 --> 01:55:26,878
He's defenestrating!
1842
01:55:26,878 --> 01:55:31,883
-[Earl] Oh!
1843
01:55:40,475 --> 01:55:45,480
-[Elastica VO] Run
and find your souls.
1844
01:56:06,459 --> 01:56:08,795
-[Gentian VO] Hello
out there, everybody.
1845
01:56:08,795 --> 01:56:12,924
This is your new
host, Gentian Violet,
1846
01:56:12,924 --> 01:56:16,261
with Gardener's Corners.
1847
01:56:16,261 --> 01:56:18,930
I know this will be a
bit of an adjustment,
1848
01:56:18,930 --> 01:56:23,393
but, uh, I believe I can share
my thoughts on gardening issues
1849
01:56:23,393 --> 01:56:27,981
fairly well, and I'm hoping
you can be patient with my
1850
01:56:27,981 --> 01:56:29,900
comparative ignorance.
1851
01:56:29,900 --> 01:56:33,195
I do think in some ways, I may
be a better listener than my
1852
01:56:33,195 --> 01:56:35,113
father was.
1853
01:56:35,113 --> 01:56:38,658
And thus this program can
become a think tank of sorts,
1854
01:56:38,658 --> 01:56:42,537
so let's take our first call.
1855
01:56:42,537 --> 01:56:47,417
Oh yes, Gardener's Corners is
brought to you this evening by
1856
01:56:47,417 --> 01:56:52,422
Pottable Canned Goods, serving
institutional cooking needs for
1857
01:56:52,422 --> 01:56:54,799
what seems like forever.
1858
01:56:54,799 --> 01:56:59,221
Our crockery select lines of
soups pass all the requirements
1859
01:56:59,221 --> 01:57:03,391
for certified
class B food products.
1860
01:57:03,391 --> 01:57:08,396
They are lip smacking
delicious and perfectly legal.
1861
01:57:08,647 --> 01:57:12,901
Comes in meat, and less meat.
1862
01:57:12,901 --> 01:57:15,445
-[Victor VO] Uh,
hello, uh, Earl-- oh,
1863
01:57:15,445 --> 01:57:17,989
excuse me, I-- I
mean, Miss Violet.
1864
01:57:17,989 --> 01:57:19,491
-[Gentian VO]
That's quite all right.
1865
01:57:19,491 --> 01:57:22,202
How can I help you this evening?
1866
01:57:22,202 --> 01:57:24,579
-[Victor VO] Well, I'm calling
because I seem to have found a
1867
01:57:24,579 --> 01:57:26,039
foundling.
1868
01:57:26,039 --> 01:57:28,124
-[Gentian VO] A foundling?
1869
01:57:28,124 --> 01:57:31,503
-[Victor VO] Uh, y--
yes, uh, a little fawn,
1870
01:57:31,503 --> 01:57:34,297
uh, who's been, uh,
nibbling in my yard.
1871
01:57:34,297 --> 01:57:36,549
And I'm-- I'm
thinking about, uh,
1872
01:57:36,549 --> 01:57:41,513
gaining its-- its trust and,
um, pursuing it as-- as a pet.
1873
01:57:41,513 --> 01:57:44,015
-[Gentian VO] Deer do
not make good pets,
1874
01:57:44,015 --> 01:57:48,228
but what you can do is maim
the deer with a knife or a club.
1875
01:57:48,228 --> 01:57:49,980
-[Victor VO] Maim it?
1876
01:57:49,980 --> 01:57:52,440
-[Gentian VO] Yes,
first put a hood on,
1877
01:57:52,440 --> 01:57:55,986
or a mask, so he
doesn't recognize you as the
1878
01:57:55,986 --> 01:57:57,153
perpetrator.
1879
01:57:57,153 --> 01:57:58,238
-[Victor VO] Hm.
1880
01:57:58,238 --> 01:58:02,117
-[Gentian VO] And then come
back to the scene after flight,
1881
01:58:02,117 --> 01:58:03,868
and be shocked.
1882
01:58:03,868 --> 01:58:07,163
You can then nurse the
deer back to health.
1883
01:58:07,163 --> 01:58:09,582
-[Victor VO] And-- and then
it-- then it could be a pet.
1884
01:58:09,582 --> 01:58:12,294
-[Gentian VO] No, no,
but it will be marked.
1885
01:58:12,294 --> 01:58:15,130
And that is where
maiming comes in.
1886
01:58:15,130 --> 01:58:18,591
Because the foundling will never
be quite fast enough to provide
1887
01:58:18,591 --> 01:58:23,305
for itself, and if you
leave some hay out in the yard,
1888
01:58:23,305 --> 01:58:27,225
it will periodically appear.
1889
01:58:27,225 --> 01:58:28,935
-[Victor VO] B-- but you're
saying I-- I shouldn't invite it
1890
01:58:28,935 --> 01:58:30,270
inside.
1891
01:58:30,270 --> 01:58:31,479
-[Gentian VO] Mm, no.
1892
01:58:31,479 --> 01:58:34,232
It belongs in the-- in the wild.
1893
01:58:34,232 --> 01:58:36,693
-[Victor VO] I'd-- I'd
like to live in the wild,
1894
01:58:36,693 --> 01:58:38,778
like him.
1895
01:58:38,778 --> 01:58:40,905
Yeah, but I-- I have too
much stuff in my house.
1896
01:58:40,905 --> 01:58:43,116
And--
1897
01:58:43,116 --> 01:58:47,287
-[Gentian VO] Well, uh, perhaps
you should throw-- throw some of
1898
01:58:47,287 --> 01:58:49,164
it out.
1899
01:58:49,164 --> 01:58:50,582
-[Victor VO] Throw
the st-- well but no,
1900
01:58:50,582 --> 01:58:52,250
but it's all good stuff.
1901
01:58:52,250 --> 01:58:56,463
I mean, it's-- I just have to
get around to-- to sorting it.
1902
01:58:56,463 --> 01:59:00,050
-[Gentian VO] Well if you-- if
you can't bear to throw it out,
1903
01:59:00,050 --> 01:59:02,135
take it to the museum.
1904
01:59:02,135 --> 01:59:03,511
-[Victor VO] Hm.
1905
01:59:03,511 --> 01:59:05,805
-[Gentian VO] If you feel
it's of historical value.
1906
01:59:05,805 --> 01:59:06,806
-[Victor VO] Huh.
1907
01:59:06,806 --> 01:59:08,808
You know, that--
that's an excellent idea.
1908
01:59:08,808 --> 01:59:11,436
I-- I think I'll--
I'll do that immediately.
1909
01:59:11,436 --> 01:59:13,813
I'm a g-- that would
be a great display,
1910
01:59:13,813 --> 01:59:15,357
I think.
1911
01:59:15,357 --> 01:59:16,733
Thank you.
1912
01:59:16,733 --> 01:59:18,360
-[Gentian VO] The
pleasure, I assure you,
1913
01:59:18,360 --> 01:59:22,322
is mine.
1914
01:59:22,322 --> 01:59:26,576
Some lonely day, you
might be sitting by yourself,
1915
01:59:26,576 --> 01:59:31,581
waiting for a tea kettle,
maybe-- maybe years from now,
1916
01:59:33,500 --> 01:59:36,127
and-- look.
1917
01:59:36,127 --> 01:59:38,004
What's that?
1918
01:59:38,004 --> 01:59:40,131
Could it be...?
1919
01:59:40,131 --> 01:59:43,301
A figure, coming
out of the snow.
1920
01:59:43,301 --> 01:59:48,306
Yes, it's your little
foundling, now a handsome buck.
1921
01:59:49,849 --> 01:59:51,393
-Mother!
1922
01:59:51,393 --> 01:59:54,687
-[Gentian VO] But you can spot
him out because of the limp.
1923
01:59:54,687 --> 01:59:56,856
You can look out there
into the world and say,
1924
01:59:56,856 --> 01:59:58,316
"There he is.
1925
01:59:58,316 --> 02:00:01,194
There is my little
handiwork, wandering around the
1926
02:00:01,194 --> 02:00:03,279
countryside."
1927
02:00:03,279 --> 02:00:08,284
It lets you feel like
you've caused something.
1928
02:00:08,535 --> 02:00:13,540
And, uh, let's
take another call.
1929
02:00:40,442 --> 02:00:45,447
♪melancholy folk music♪
1930
02:03:30,111 --> 02:03:31,154
-Oh!
1931
02:03:31,154 --> 02:03:33,448
[chuckles] Hello!
1932
02:03:33,448 --> 02:03:37,035
I'll just be a moment.
1933
02:03:37,035 --> 02:03:39,912
And look!
1934
02:03:39,912 --> 02:03:44,000
I'm free.
1935
02:03:44,417 --> 02:03:49,088
I was just putting, uh, a bit
of wild chive into this can,
1936
02:03:49,088 --> 02:03:53,968
which I have fashioned
into a hobo saucepan.
1937
02:03:53,968 --> 02:03:58,973
And the handle, Indian hemp,
also used in the drawstring of
1938
02:04:00,725 --> 02:04:02,894
my willow bow.
1939
02:04:02,894 --> 02:04:07,899
The arrows, reed shafts,
blue jay truing feathers,
1940
02:04:11,194 --> 02:04:12,820
and yes!
1941
02:04:12,820 --> 02:04:17,825
Authentic Pawkegheny
Indian flint arrowheads.
1942
02:04:19,827 --> 02:04:24,832
And what have I
produced with these weapons?
1943
02:04:25,917 --> 02:04:30,922
A lusty gray squirrel,
which I have on the spit.
1944
02:04:32,131 --> 02:04:37,136
I like to cook them whole, but
if you find the head offensive,
1945
02:04:38,888 --> 02:04:43,559
it can be removed.
1946
02:04:45,436 --> 02:04:50,441
Shame to waste the
mandible muscle.
1947
02:04:51,359 --> 02:04:53,486
Ah!
1948
02:04:53,486 --> 02:04:58,199
My goodness, you terrified me!
1949
02:04:58,199 --> 02:05:00,451
I thought I was alone.
1950
02:05:00,451 --> 02:05:04,580
-[Lydia] You are.
1951
02:05:05,081 --> 02:05:08,126
Could I sit here for a minute?
1952
02:05:08,126 --> 02:05:11,003
-Oh, please do.
1953
02:05:11,003 --> 02:05:14,090
So what are you doing out here?
1954
02:05:14,090 --> 02:05:19,095
You know these woods are
crawling with escaped maniacs.
1955
02:05:19,178 --> 02:05:23,349
-Don't worry, I'm not violent.
1956
02:05:23,349 --> 02:05:27,228
-I-- I'd ask you to
join, but to be honest,
1957
02:05:27,228 --> 02:05:30,773
uh, there is very
little meat on this,
1958
02:05:30,773 --> 02:05:33,151
uh, squirrel.
1959
02:05:33,151 --> 02:05:36,779
It's primarily, uh,
symbolic, really.
1960
02:05:36,779 --> 02:05:39,031
-I understand.
1961
02:05:39,031 --> 02:05:44,036
-[Earl] But I-- I do
know of a shelter nearby.
1962
02:05:44,454 --> 02:05:46,998
-A shelter.
1963
02:05:46,998 --> 02:05:51,711
That'd be great, at
least for the night.
1964
02:05:51,711 --> 02:05:55,256
Could you walk me there?
1965
02:05:55,256 --> 02:06:00,261
-It would be my pleasure.
1966
02:06:12,190 --> 02:06:15,234
-So Mom, do you want some
instant coffee or something?
1967
02:06:15,234 --> 02:06:17,904
-Sure, that would be nice.
1968
02:06:17,904 --> 02:06:19,781
-I guess I'm bringing
you meals on wheels.
1969
02:06:19,781 --> 02:06:21,073
I'm already on that.
1970
02:06:21,073 --> 02:06:23,075
Thursday is, uh,
chicken a la king,
1971
02:06:23,075 --> 02:06:24,827
usually.
1972
02:06:24,827 --> 02:06:27,079
-That sounds good.
1973
02:06:27,079 --> 02:06:29,957
You know, what I would
really love is a bath.
1974
02:06:29,957 --> 02:06:33,044
A nice, warm bath.
1975
02:06:33,044 --> 02:06:36,964
-Okay, that's possible.
1976
02:06:36,964 --> 02:06:40,843
-[Earl] Come on,
Lydia, watch your step.
1977
02:06:40,843 --> 02:06:45,848
A little surprise, you see.
1978
02:06:49,894 --> 02:06:50,895
-[Victor VO] I'll have
to clear out the tub.
1979
02:06:50,895 --> 02:06:55,900
I've-- I've been
using Genny's tub lately.
1980
02:06:57,401 --> 02:06:59,570
You can take a
bath with your leg?
1981
02:06:59,570 --> 02:07:00,947
-Oh, yeah.
1982
02:07:00,947 --> 02:07:03,407
They gave me a latex stump sock.
1983
02:07:03,407 --> 02:07:06,744
Apparently, I can
even go swimming.
1984
02:07:06,744 --> 02:07:09,956
At the hospital, they said that
Earl actually did a very good
1985
02:07:09,956 --> 02:07:12,500
job with the amputation.
1986
02:07:12,500 --> 02:07:15,294
They were impressed.
1987
02:07:15,294 --> 02:07:20,299
The doctor said I should be able
to live a perfectly normal life.
1988
02:07:21,008 --> 02:07:22,552
-Oh, that's good.
1989
02:07:22,552 --> 02:07:24,637
Well I'll move the
stuff out of here.
1990
02:07:24,637 --> 02:07:27,557
-Okay, Lydia, right this way.
1991
02:07:27,557 --> 02:07:29,809
Over here.
1992
02:07:29,809 --> 02:07:33,187
-[Ida] Well, thank you very
much for your hospitality.
1993
02:07:33,187 --> 02:07:38,192
-[Victor VO] Oh yeah,
you're quite welcome.
1994
02:07:52,623 --> 02:07:56,335
-You look so
beautiful tonight, Genny,
1995
02:07:56,335 --> 02:08:01,340
sitting there in your brassiere.
1996
02:08:02,717 --> 02:08:07,138
-Poor little thing.
1997
02:08:10,683 --> 02:08:13,269
[knock on door]
1998
02:08:13,269 --> 02:08:17,523
-Who would that be?
1999
02:08:33,664 --> 02:08:34,832
[cat meows]
2000
02:08:34,832 --> 02:08:38,669
-Oh!
Pufferball!
2001
02:08:38,669 --> 02:08:43,674
[cat purrs]
2002
02:08:43,674 --> 02:08:47,386
-Goodnight, everybody.
2003
02:08:47,386 --> 02:08:52,183
♪delicate piano music♪
137352
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