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1
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,584
[spooky music]
2
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,804
[music intensifies]
3
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,303
[thunder]
4
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:03,769
[far away howling]
5
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,278
[suspenseful music,
thunder continues]
6
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,068
[playful music]
7
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,830
[shattering glass]
8
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,575
[howling]
9
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,795
[suspenseful chord]
10
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:31,718
[creaking]
11
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:34,973
[eerie music]
12
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,845
Here's to you, baby.
13
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,269
Ten years of misery.
14
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,606
Sláinte
15
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,403
[spooky music]
16
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,657
You never did like
taking it on the face.
17
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,781
Well how's that now, huh?
18
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,788
Come to think of it,
19
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,659
l think it's high time
20
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,497
l cashed in
on all those years
21
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:09,043
you never tended to my needs.
22
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:13,509
Whine, whine, whine.
Me, me, me.
23
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,631
Well what about me?
[suspenseful chord]
24
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,297
Huh?
25
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,717
I'm thinking it's time
26
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:23,476
for a little bit
of dead head.
27
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,638
[wind howIing]
28
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,726
You won't mind. Much.
29
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,153
[zzipper and suspenseful chord]
30
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,401
Shit.
31
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,652
[crunch and wet meat]
32
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,693
Jesus and mother of God!
33
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,358
Fuck.
34
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:38,656
[muffled growling
and chuckling]
35
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,241
Let go of my meat!
36
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,446
[howling]
37
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,156
Let go of my meat!
38
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,996
[howling]
39
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,088
[panting]
40
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,750
[thunder]
41
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,008
[eerie music]
42
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,929
[thunder]
43
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,724
[intense suspenseful music]
44
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,647
No. No. No. No. No. No.
45
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,276
No! You bitch!
46
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,243
You bit off my bean bag!
47
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,025
[suspenseful chord
and sound of wet meat]
48
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,366
[cell phone ringing]
49
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,834
Fucker!
50
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,414
[shouting]
Yeah?
51
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:28,958
[funny mumbling
over phone]
52
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,582
Balls! He is?
53
00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,248
[funny mumbling]
54
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,457
Yeah, l'll be there,
l'll be there, yeah.
55
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,717
Jesus wept! Yeah, fine!
56
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,890
[wind softly howling]
57
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,100
[animaI howIing]
58
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,392
[thunder]
59
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,597
l'm late for work.
60
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:55,437
[cheerful rock music]
61
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,952
[horn honking]
62
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,582
[sighing]
63
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,288
[rock music continues]
64
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,100
[tuning radio]
[woman's voice]
WiII you stop touching
that.
65
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,807
(man)
Honey, what is--
What was the station again?
66
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,228
l can never
remember the number.
67
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,476
(woman)
l don't know.
68
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,567
You're supposed
to know
69
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,363
'cause l can never
remember, so it's your
job to remember.
70
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,487
Well, remind me
why we're bringing
our baby
71
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,704
to an all-night
splatter fest again.
72
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:50,205
Are you serious? l
wish that l had parents
as cool as [indistinct]
73
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,170
He's gonna be
so prepared for life
in modern America,
74
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,711
after this
evening of films.
75
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,594
l know.
76
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,211
[snapping]
Yeah.
77
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,548
[cheerful rock music
over radio]
78
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,632
l love it
when the old man
79
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,548
pumps golden moldies
in the channel
after the all-nighters.
80
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,636
You know,
l'm totally puts
me in the mood.
81
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,932
Yeah, look
what happened the last
time Otis Redding was on.
82
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,136
Uh-huh? Uh-huh.
83
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,725
Do you want a brother?
84
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,310
(baby)
LittIe brother, daddy.
85
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:16,484
(Ryan)
AII right,
Tobe. Six degrees,
Kevin Bacon, BeIa Lugosi.
86
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,726
Hit it!
87
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,647
(Tobe)
Oh, no.
88
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,896
Oh man, this
should be cake
and ice cream for you.
89
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,698
(man 2)
Oh, come on.
Forget it, I-- I--
90
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:26,661
l guess this
encyclopedia
is human after all.
91
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,203
So what
movie is everyone
freaking out about?
92
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,157
'Cause l'm going
into the [indistinct]
93
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:34,165
Well, l haven't
seen any of them.
Apparently, Mr. K.,
94
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,668
has the only prints
of these things
in existence.
95
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,384
lt's like ultra rare
Holy Grail shit.
Right, Tobes?
96
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,585
Yeah, this being
the last hurrah and all
is the best time as ever
97
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,346
to unleash the terror,
the blood,
the boobs!
98
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,929
More blood!
More boobs!
99
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,224
Hurray for boobs.
100
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,348
What was it like
working here,
l mean,
101
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,345
Hog heaven, right?
102
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,935
No, nerdgasm.
l saw the movie
Hungry Hungry Hippos
103
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,733
1 3 times!
104
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,606
l see
no nutritional value
in that whatsoever.
105
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,364
Hey, you asked!
And besides,
106
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,946
it gave
you an excuse
to almost talk
107
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,451
to a certain
concession employee.
108
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,032
Wait. Almost?
109
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,116
So you
haven't even like--
110
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,753
No. Okay?
We haven't even.
111
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,909
We're taking it slow.
112
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,878
Mm-hm. And by "slow"
he means turn the other
way and walk fast.
113
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,789
So you haven't
even talked to her?
114
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,628
lt's like this.
115
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,973
A girl like Desi
is never gonna
go out with me
116
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,880
so l figure, why not
hold on to the hope
117
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,428
instead of suffer
the disappointment?
118
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,802
You should
at least talk to her
119
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,428
before you go
back to school.
120
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,465
At least
then you could
make a piece.
121
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,138
Yeah, look who's
talking potsy!
122
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,977
Well, what the fuck
does that mean?
123
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,312
Oh, nothing.
124
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,107
Yeah, nothing, just--
125
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,110
Look, Kevin Bacon
and Elvis Presley.
126
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,822
(Tobe)
Let's do it.
[chuckIing]
127
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,072
[woman chuckIing]
128
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,153
[swoosh]
129
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,488
Admit two.
130
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:47,992
There you go, kids.
131
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,494
Just pull up
to the front row spot
132
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,576
and tune your tunes
to 1 06. 1 and enjoy.
133
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,333
[chuckling]
134
00:06:55,415 --> 00:07:00,375
lt's gonna be
a hell of a night!
[chuckling]
135
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,091
(man)
Yeah, thanks.
136
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,010
[rolls up window]
137
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,430
"lt's gonna be a hell
of a night!" Fuck you,
get real.
138
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,590
l'm so glad to see this
fucking dump decimated.
139
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,219
Jesus, man.
Lighten up.
140
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,555
Oh, l'll lighten
up tomorrow
141
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,520
when the bulldozzers
gas up.
142
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,100
So remind me
why we're here
instead of Schneideman's.
143
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,646
Because l pulled
the short straw
144
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,359
and got stuck
with baby sitting duty.
145
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,480
9:00 AM this is another
fine Blumps location.
146
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,277
[horn honking]
147
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,280
Until then, l
gotta keep an eye
on the old man
148
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:27,612
make sure he doesn't
pull any shenanigans.
149
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,485
Well, Mr. Sourpuss.
150
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,954
Excuse me,
that's Junior VP
at Marketing Sourpuss.
151
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,163
Okay, Mr. VP Poopy Pants,
152
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,825
l promise to make
tonight worth your while.
153
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,924
(man)
Oh.
154
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,800
(announcer)
Show starts in five minutes.
155
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,224
[rattling]
156
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,552
[cheerful music]
157
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,994
l don't know, Orson.
158
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:11,990
Looks like last licks
for us oId bones.
159
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:16,083
l'm gonna miss all this.
160
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,332
This was my favorite part.
161
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:22,963
The preparation
and anticipation.
162
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:27,174
The threading,
spIicing the reeIs,
163
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:29,756
and always racing the clock.
164
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,552
Betty and l , we never
missed a single listing.
165
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,178
ln the gate
and don't be late.
166
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,225
You taught me that.
167
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,442
My rosebud.
168
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,403
Well, who needs
to be on time now
169
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,284
when you've got
demanding video
170
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,282
and high definition crap?
171
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,954
You can get anytime at home.
172
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,254
Who needs the old
night out under the stars
173
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,409
with some movie magic anymore?
174
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,458
That's what you
were all about. Right?
175
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,553
Magic tricks
and slight of hand.
176
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,800
Nobody cares
for magic anymore.
177
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,053
Nope.
[sighing]
178
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,394
The world gets smaller.
179
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,471
And soul mates fade away
180
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,057
Iike oId Kodak fiIm stock.
181
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,692
But nothing's gonna stop me
182
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,230
from sharing a bit
of that magic tonight!
183
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,944
Right?
[chuckling]
184
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,735
But, much like anything else--
185
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,911
[rattling]
186
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,448
[clears throat]
187
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,578
Now she's gone.
188
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:46,423
Now this pIace
is pretty much gone.
189
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,304
And like tomorrow,
190
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,722
I may be gone, too.
191
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:58,602
Fade to black. Right?
[chuckling]
192
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,849
Or maybe a smash cut!
[laughing]
193
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,774
[door bangs open]
194
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,151
Jumping Jesus!
Jehoshaphat Floyd.
195
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,320
Heart hopping Christ,
you're Iate, man.
196
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,319
Sorry, boss, l've been, uh,
197
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,031
l've been dealing with some--
[coughing]
198
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,702
Family matters.
199
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,870
Well, there's no need
for excuses now,
200
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,279
l'm already done
threading the first film.
201
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,868
Good God, man!
202
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,374
What have you been
sticking your dick into?
203
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,867
You look like hell
on a hand grenade.
204
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,078
l've been under the weather.
205
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,129
Look, why don't you
just go check in
with concessions,
206
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,713
see if Desi needs some help?
207
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,468
Sounds good. Okay.
208
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,048
And for Christ's sake, man,
209
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,385
clean yourself up!
210
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,234
[door shuts]
211
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,812
lt's show-time!
212
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,477
[chuckling]
213
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,355
[thunder
and screaming recording]
214
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:55,572
Well, hell, ell, ell,
ello, kiddies!
215
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,065
[chuckling]
216
00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,576
lt's your old friend,
Uncle Cecil,
217
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,370
welcoming you to the final,
218
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,584
ghoulish night of murder
219
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:10,206
and mayhem!
[vicious Iaughter]
220
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:13,514
Yes, my ghouIs and gaIs,
221
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:18,469
it's time for Chillerama!
[vicious laughter]
222
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,552
[horns honking]
223
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:27,059
Sit back, poke a hole
in the bottom of your
pop-corn bag,
224
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:30,154
cuddle up
to the closest corpse
225
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,191
and prepare yourself
226
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,815
for this evening's
227
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:41,203
first squishy selection.
228
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:47,791
Wadzilla!
[vicious Iaughter]
229
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,293
[rooster]
230
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:54,456
[joyous cIassicaI music]
231
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,799
[eerie chord]
232
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,054
[mangIed chords
and wet meat]
233
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,306
[shriII eerie music]
234
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,862
[swoosh]
235
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,740
Excuse me, Dr. Weems.
236
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,746
Miles Munson's
lab work is ready.
237
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,710
Tell him l'll be right in.
238
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,420
[whispering]
Okay.
239
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,094
(Miles)
l never heard
of a sperm bank
240
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,629
turning anyone
down before.
241
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,214
You can imagine
my nervousness
242
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,219
when they suggested
l see a urologist.
243
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,051
lt isn't anything
serious, is it?
244
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,426
Life-threatening, no.
245
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,762
As a matter
of concern, yes.
246
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,934
Have a look
in there, Miles.
247
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,435
(Miles)
Wow! Look
at them aII go.
248
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:59,493
(doctor)
That is an exampIe
or normaI sperm.
249
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:03,660
And that
is your sperm.
250
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,621
[ominous music]
251
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,542
(Miles)
Yikes.
252
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,211
[suspenseful chord]
253
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,369
That doesn't look good.
254
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:17,708
Miles, there's
a new medication l'd
like to suggest you try.
255
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,627
lt's called
Spermupermine.
256
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:24,546
Now, it can't increase
the sperm you generate
257
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,467
but what it can do,
258
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,184
is strengthen the sperm
you already produce.
259
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,886
Spermupermine?
260
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:34,896
Yes. lt hasn't been
approved by the FDA yet,
261
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,520
but it is available
to test subjects.
262
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:40,608
Luckily for you,
l'm on the research board.
[chuckIing]
263
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,654
Thank you, doctor.
264
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,406
[shouting]
265
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,160
(man over TV)
Good morning, kids!
266
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,493
lt's the Captain Fatso Show.
267
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,748
And l'm Captain Fatso!
268
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,502
[shouting]
269
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,844
Well, ahoy there,
Captain Fatso,
270
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,551
say, are those
gumdrops l smell?
271
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,592
(Fatso)
Look kids,
it's DudIey DingIeberry!
272
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,547
[kids shouting]
273
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,508
(Fatso)
I'm starving!
274
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,887
l haven't even had
breakfast yet!
275
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:16,016
(Fatso)
Let me teII you
about the new sponsor!
276
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:19,523
[shouting]
277
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,028
[suspenseful music]
278
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,411
[TV show continues]
279
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,028
[music stops]
280
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,499
(Fatso over TV)
Peanut Mush
is now enhanced
281
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,710
with new
fIavored chemicaIs.
282
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:39,290
Makes your
breakfast even more
scrump-diIIy-dumptious!
283
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,298
Sounds de-lish.
284
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,300
[shouting]
285
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,553
Morning, Miles.
286
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,756
Uh, morning, Larry.
287
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,018
Hey, you still
single, buddy?
288
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,769
Unfortunately.
289
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,851
My wife's
college roommate
just got divorced
290
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,646
and moved to town.
Perfect for you.
291
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,400
You should
take her to dinner
tomorrow night.
292
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,151
Absolutely not.
No way, no more
blind dates.
293
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,113
Not after last time.
294
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,573
Come on, she's perfect.
You should just do
this, okay?
295
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,914
She's cute.
She's not looking
for anything serious.
296
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,068
Just a little
companionship.
You know?
297
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,277
[train horn]
298
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,659
[playful music]
299
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,920
[jazzzzy music]
300
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,686
Oh.
301
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,935
Allow me.
302
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,493
[suspenseful chord]
303
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,285
Oh.
304
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,504
[grunting]
305
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,630
Miles, are you okay?
306
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,463
Come here.
307
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,338
l just had a horrible
shooting pain
in my balls.
308
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,336
You think you
sat on your balls
when you sat down?
309
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,048
l don't know.
310
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,558
Oh! You twisted the veins
in your testicles.
311
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,021
Classic vein twist.
312
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,351
Okay. Okay.
[panting]
313
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,846
l'm good.
314
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:21,938
l'm so--
315
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:32,322
(man)
Okay, onto the consolidation
of our acquisitions
316
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,866
of GeneraI TextiIe Industries
317
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,241
and MBT Plastics.
318
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,787
For a brief overview,
319
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,540
we'd like
to introduce
to you all
320
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,502
the newest member
of our department,
321
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,542
Andie Sumner.
322
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,206
[jazzzzy music]
323
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,004
Hello, gentlemen.
324
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:49,166
[jazzzzy music]
325
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,716
Oh!
[sighing]
326
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,676
l'm such a klutzz.
327
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,439
Oh.
328
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,982
[grunting]
329
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,357
Are you okay?
330
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,857
Someone, help him up.
331
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,738
No, l'm all right.
l'm all right.
332
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,575
l'm all right.
333
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,200
Ugh. l just need
a little bit of air.
334
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:22,706
l'm sorry. Excuse me
for one second.
[grunting]
335
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,210
l don't know
if it has anything to do
336
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,883
with the pills
that you gave me,
337
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,341
but every time l get
the least bit aroused
338
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,052
l get the most intense
shooting pain
339
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,051
[whispering]
through my testicles.
340
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,295
Tsk. Well, there's only
one way to find out.
341
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,310
[scream and suspenseful chord]
342
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,437
What in God's name--
343
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,654
[suspenseful music]
344
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,316
Miles? Are you
all right?
345
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,065
l think so.
346
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,408
Give me the sample, Miles,
347
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,247
so we can get it
under the microscope
right away.
348
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,882
l don't think you're
gonna need a microscope.
349
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,168
Oh!
350
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,547
[wet meat]
351
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,926
[panting]
My God.
352
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,644
What's wrong with me?
353
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,854
It's impossibIe,
but it wouId appear
354
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,895
that the Spermupermine
has had an adverse
effect on your system.
355
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,939
It's not onIy strengthening
your spermatozzoa
356
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,523
but it's causing it
to grow
357
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,358
to gargantuan proportions.
358
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:36,114
And traditionaIIy, when
a man experiences arousaI,
359
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,946
his testicles produce
more sperm.
360
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,332
But in your case, however,
361
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,120
when you get turned on,
362
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,464
the one sperm you do have
363
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,708
gets huge.
364
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:47,922
[wet meat]
365
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,461
[suspenseful music]
366
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:55,304
I'm gonna send
this to the National
Institute of HeaIth
367
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,892
in Washington
for analysis.
368
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,887
Discontinue use
of the medication immediately.
369
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,885
lf you feel your
sperm enIarging again
370
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,228
you get it out of your
system right away.
371
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,313
Get it out
of my system?
372
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,646
Jerk off! Fast!
373
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,322
[sighing]
374
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,402
[cheerful Latino music]
375
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:27,536
[knocking]
376
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,706
[soft music]
377
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,375
Hi.
378
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,263
You must be Miles.
379
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,760
[suspenseful chord]
380
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,342
l'm Louise.
381
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:42,556
[suspenseful music,
intensifying]
382
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,179
[grunting]
383
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,851
[suspenseful chord]
384
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,437
No.
385
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,982
Oh, my God!
What happened?
Are you--
386
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,855
Are you okay?
387
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,611
May l use your bathroom
just for a minute, please?
388
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,105
Of course.
389
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,487
Come right in.
390
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,703
Right down the hall.
391
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,243
l'll just
be one second
and l'll be back.
392
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,618
Oh.
393
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,374
[grunting]
394
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,044
[suspenseful music continues]
395
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:20,047
[growIing]
396
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:24,055
Molly, just what
kind of a nut did you
and Larry set me up with?
397
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:27,597
Hon, Louise says
that Miles showed
up at her door,
398
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,814
grabbed his
crotch and started
screaming. Wha--
399
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,726
He's-- He's
in the bathroom now,
400
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,073
he's making weird--
l can hear him.
401
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,570
(Larry)
Louise, Miles twisted a vein
in one of his testicIes.
402
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,651
Yeah, it hurts him sometimes.
403
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,158
He feeIs bad about it.
Don't make a fuss
over it.
404
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,620
He's a good guy.
405
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,949
Okay. That is enough
out of you.
406
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,615
l'm so sorry.
No, it's gonna
be okay.
407
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,084
He's just a brute.
408
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,584
That guy is such
an asshole.
409
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:51,996
[gasping]
l can hear him.
410
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,424
The poor guy--
411
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,921
Now l just
feel sorry for him.
412
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,554
[intense suspenseful music]
413
00:20:59,132 --> 00:21:00,512
[shouting]
414
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,585
[loud thud]
415
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:04,927
[wet meat]
416
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,682
[grunting]
417
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:07,805
[suspenseful chord]
418
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:08,851
[clink]
419
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,394
She hung up.
420
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,437
[ominous music]
421
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,061
[thumping and wet meat]
422
00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:53,353
[thumps and crashing]
423
00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:57,943
[glass shattering]
424
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,652
[knocking]
Miles?
425
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,356
[thumping]
426
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,908
Are you all right in there?
427
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,201
[grunting, crashing]
428
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,195
[wet meat]
429
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:15,916
Ugh!
430
00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:25,760
[flushing]
431
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:26,934
[sighing]
432
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,012
That was a close one.
433
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:31,306
[ominous music]
434
00:22:31,391 --> 00:22:34,481
Oh, no!
435
00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:35,981
[Louise, knocking]
Miles.
436
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,613
I'm getting
very concerned.
437
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,729
lt sounds like something
broke in there.
438
00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:42,356
You don't happen
to have a plunger,
do you?
439
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,404
Oh.
440
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:47,449
Just what in the hell
happened in here?
441
00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:49,952
l'm on a new medication.
442
00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:50,785
[spIashing]
Oh!
443
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,081
[growling]
444
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,206
Oh, my God!
445
00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:59,132
[ominous music]
446
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,881
lt's getting bigger!
447
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:01,882
[growling]
448
00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,383
Run!
449
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:05,625
[Louise, screaming]
450
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:09,894
No!
451
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:11,760
Run!
452
00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:13,098
Ugh.
453
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,183
[growling and squealing]
454
00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:16,478
[screaming]
455
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:17,901
Oh!
[screaming]
456
00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:19,399
[screaming]
457
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,321
[screaming and sound
of wet meat]
458
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:33,787
[growling]
459
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:39,668
[Louise, screaming]
460
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:40,881
[crash]
461
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,600
[growling]
462
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,064
[glass shattering]
463
00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:09,863
[thump]
464
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:11,238
[gurgling]
465
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,289
Um.
466
00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:19,039
l can explain that.
467
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,377
He's a nice guy,
don't get me
wrong, but--
468
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,211
"Nice" just don't
count in the bedroom
469
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,666
when you got
a baby gherkin
between your legs.
470
00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:28,466
Come on, Stewie.
Make a poo poo
for momma,
471
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:31,090
Come on, be a good boy.
l'm not exaggerating.
472
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,798
The guy's hung like
Howdy Doody,
473
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,096
and that's being generous.
474
00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:35,891
[ominous music]
475
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,314
[chuckling]
Of course l'm
gonna see him again.
476
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,061
Did you see his car?
lt's a Cadillac.
477
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,145
No, that sizze was more
than acceptable--
478
00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:43,610
[eerie sound
and dog whining]
479
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,570
Stewie! Will you
please shut up?
480
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:49,360
l'm sorry. He flunked
obedience school.
The mongoloid.
481
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:51,906
[ominous music]
482
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:54,160
[wet meat]
483
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:56,332
[whining]
484
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:05,460
[monster growIing,
dog whining]
485
00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:08,295
Why does it smell
like Ajax?
[Ioud growI]
486
00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:10,721
Stewie! Ow! You almost
dislocated my--
487
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,350
Stewie?
488
00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,771
[ominous chord]
489
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,850
l have to call you back, mom.
490
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,266
Stewie just escaped
from his leash again.
491
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,230
There you are.
492
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:28,897
[wet meat]
493
00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:30,565
You furry fugitive, you.
494
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:32,074
You'd better get
your little butt
495
00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:33,525
over here before--
[gasping]
496
00:25:33,615 --> 00:25:34,735
[growling]
497
00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:37,374
[wet meat sound]
498
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:41,999
[squirting sound]
499
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:47,796
[accordion music]
500
00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:04,228
[Ioud thump]
501
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,355
[metaIIic cIanking]
502
00:26:12,445 --> 00:26:14,775
[ominous chord]
503
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,076
[cIanking continues]
504
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:39,426
[shouting]
505
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,281
You almost gave me
a heart attack.
506
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:52,739
Me too!
507
00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:59,115
What'd you get?
[chuckling]
508
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,490
[humming]
509
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:06,623
[chuckling]
A Milk Dud.
510
00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:08,876
[laughing viciously]
511
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,340
So, what did you find?
512
00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:15,131
Half a rotisserie
513
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:17,296
chicken.
[laughing]
514
00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:19,635
You're gonna split that
with me, right?
515
00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,181
Yeah. Maybe.
516
00:27:21,264 --> 00:27:23,974
For a hand job.
517
00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:26,309
[suspenseful music]
518
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,563
Don't be such
a prude, Babs.
519
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:31,567
lt's not like
you ain't done it
1 00,000 times already.
520
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,980
Sp-- Sperm!
521
00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,149
Exactly!
522
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:42,584
[growling]
523
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:45,251
[suspenseful music,
intensifying]
524
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:47,920
[growling]
525
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:54,091
[crunch and splatter]
526
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:56,222
Bob!
527
00:27:56,299 --> 00:27:58,879
[woman shouting]
528
00:27:58,968 --> 00:28:02,348
[running footsteps]
529
00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:03,720
[growling]
530
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:05,517
[shouting]
531
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,560
[cIanking and shouting]
532
00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,345
[shouting, echoing]
533
00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:12,608
l want to thank
you for being
so understanding.
534
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,031
You know, a lot
of girls would've
run for the hills
535
00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:18,360
if the sperm of their
blind date shot up their
skirt like that.
536
00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,065
So, thanks again.
537
00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:22,446
l swear to God, l will
pay for any damages.
538
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,044
Oh, please,
things can be replaced.
539
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,700
Testicles can't.
540
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,038
Now that's for sure.
541
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:32,423
l'm just glad
you're-- Uh.
542
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,712
Louise? What's
the matter?
543
00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:37,376
[panting]
Oh, my God.
544
00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:40,264
Miles. That's
your sperm.
545
00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:43,303
(TV presenter)
This just in.
The tadpoIe-Iike creature
546
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,178
is running rampant
as it heads downtown.
547
00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:49,556
Five are dead aIready
and unconfirmed reports
548
00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:52,402
claim the slimy beast
is now the sizze
of a house
549
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,150
and growing!
550
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:56,782
Military leaders
are described as "testy"
551
00:28:56,860 --> 00:29:00,610
when asked how to defend
against this gargantuan goo.
552
00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,777
The military
is doing its best
553
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:06,906
to determine
what it would take
to rub one out of this sizze.
554
00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:08,575
What are we
gonna do?
555
00:29:08,663 --> 00:29:11,423
We gotta get
the authorities.
Come on!
556
00:29:11,499 --> 00:29:14,629
Citizzens are asked
to use whatever
protection they can
557
00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:17,091
and avoid the creature's
immediate vicinity
558
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:19,762
which authorities
are calling,
"the wet spot".
559
00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:22,591
[ominous music]
560
00:29:22,677 --> 00:29:24,637
[growIing and eerie chords]
561
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:31,598
[thunder]
562
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,608
We're reporting live
from downtown Manhattan
563
00:29:35,690 --> 00:29:37,730
at the epicenter
of the crisis zzone
564
00:29:37,817 --> 00:29:40,277
with a sperm creature
which has now risen
to five stories high
565
00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:43,611
and apparently still growing
has been wreaking havoc
on New York.
566
00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:46,988
The Mayor is insisting
that all New Yorkers
remain in their homes
567
00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:49,826
until further--
Oh, my God.
568
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,333
lt's coming.
[shouting]
569
00:29:51,414 --> 00:29:52,714
[growling]
570
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:54,001
[splatter]
571
00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:55,633
[growling]
572
00:29:59,088 --> 00:30:01,968
(TV presenter)
The stupendous spermatozzoa
is ravaging through
CentraI Park.
573
00:30:02,008 --> 00:30:03,968
Oh, the humanity!
574
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,811
[gunshots]
575
00:30:12,393 --> 00:30:14,483
[crash and crunch]
576
00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:16,192
[explosion]
577
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,409
The spermicide is having
absolutely no effect.
578
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:32,405
What does this
sperm want, doc?
579
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:35,247
What every sperm
wants, General.
To fertilizze an ovum!
580
00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:37,583
There's not an ovum
on God's green earth
581
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,419
big enough
for that thing.
582
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:40,844
(Miles)
Wait! I just
figured it out.
583
00:30:40,922 --> 00:30:42,632
The Statue
of Liberty.
584
00:30:42,715 --> 00:30:45,085
lt's the only
conceivable female
large enough.
585
00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:47,586
[ominous music]
586
00:31:08,741 --> 00:31:11,451
[sweet eerie music]
587
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:28,965
[growling softly]
588
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,553
[ominous music]
589
00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:33,018
[choppers]
590
00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:59,674
Steady. Steady.
591
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:08,130
[growling]
592
00:32:08,217 --> 00:32:10,427
[ripping]
593
00:32:10,511 --> 00:32:11,761
Ah! Dammit.
594
00:32:11,804 --> 00:32:12,724
Oh, my God!
595
00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:14,215
Don't panic,
596
00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:16,097
there's gotta
be another one here.
597
00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:17,522
(General)
No time. Look!
598
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:19,442
[growling]
599
00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:21,859
[ominous music]
600
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,770
[growling]
601
00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:27,954
[squealing]
602
00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:40,457
[growling]
603
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,130
Attention!
604
00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:43,708
This is General Bukkake.
605
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,875
lnitiate Operation
Moneyshot. Three.
606
00:32:49,050 --> 00:32:51,430
Two!
607
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,761
One!
608
00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:53,845
[whistling]
609
00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:55,470
[explosion]
610
00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:59,693
[joyous cIassicaI music]
611
00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:35,354
(Miles)
Ah.
612
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,390
[Ugh.
613
00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:42,691
[chuckling]
Some first date, huh?
614
00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:45,480
[chuckling]
615
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,874
You can say that again.
616
00:33:56,951 --> 00:33:58,871
Well, at least
it's good for the skin.
617
00:33:58,953 --> 00:34:00,123
Yeah.
618
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:02,374
[triumphant music]
619
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,455
What?
620
00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:12,468
What's the matter?
621
00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:13,630
Nothing.
622
00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:19,808
[triumphant music continues]
623
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,731
Miles!
[music stops]
624
00:34:24,771 --> 00:34:26,401
All right.
625
00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:28,149
Fuck it.
626
00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:29,862
[triumphant music]
627
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,820
Hm.
[ominous music]
628
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,277
[grunting]
629
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:46,579
[spooky music]
630
00:34:55,134 --> 00:34:56,644
Oh, yeah.
Classic cinema.
631
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,179
Wow.
632
00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:01,012
lf you liked
Remains of the Day
633
00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:04,349
then you'll cream
over Wadzilla.
634
00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:06,135
You know?
635
00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:07,939
Not enough tits.
636
00:35:08,022 --> 00:35:11,152
Wow. Ryan.
Be your brother much?
637
00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:13,194
Mayna, don't insult me.
638
00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:16,777
(Tobe)
Okay, substance run.
I am so thirsty.
639
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,783
Oh, no. Sit tight.
Sit tight. l'll go.
640
00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:21,075
l got this.
l got this one.
641
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,410
What?
[background radio]
642
00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:23,615
Nothing.
643
00:35:23,704 --> 00:35:24,964
l just wanna make sure
644
00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:26,497
my friends are well fueled.
645
00:35:26,582 --> 00:35:28,632
(both)
Hm. Sure.
646
00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:30,669
What do you want?
647
00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:32,253
Get me some red vines.
No popcorn.
648
00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:33,838
No corn?
649
00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:35,473
Nope. No popcorn
for me, but,
650
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:37,680
a Coke would be
delightful, Romeo.
651
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,550
AII right.
Red Vines. Check.
652
00:35:39,637 --> 00:35:41,967
Coke. Check.
Fuck off. Check.
653
00:35:42,056 --> 00:35:45,846
Back before flick two.
You kids, be good now.
654
00:35:47,603 --> 00:35:49,403
Oh. Uh. MilkDuds.
655
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:50,150
GremIins.
656
00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:51,769
Yeah!
657
00:35:54,068 --> 00:35:55,188
So--
[sighing]
658
00:35:55,278 --> 00:35:56,698
[clears throat]
Uh--
659
00:35:56,779 --> 00:35:59,569
Robert England
to Kane Hodder. Go.
660
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:00,907
God, l love you.
661
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:02,082
What?
662
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,370
Uh, nothing, nothing.
663
00:36:03,452 --> 00:36:05,372
Uh, well, that's easy--
664
00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:07,874
(announcer)
Stop the show.
[bIowing whistIe]
665
00:36:07,957 --> 00:36:09,617
Here's news
you want to know.
666
00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:12,169
We just got a shipment of--
667
00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:13,803
(Miller)
Dude!
668
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,670
Hey, you get
me snackage?
Thank you.
669
00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:17,085
Oh, l am?
670
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:20,005
Come on, cum bubble.
l'm busy.
671
00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:21,054
Hi, Ryan.
672
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:22,387
Hi, Laura.
673
00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:23,891
You gonna go
talk to Desi?
674
00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:25,563
Why does everyone
know about this?
675
00:36:25,641 --> 00:36:27,101
Popcorn. Extra
butter. AndaIe.
676
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,885
How about some
money, prick?
677
00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:31,268
Put it
on my tab, douche.
[rolling up window]
678
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,225
Asshole.
679
00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:35,686
l think your
brother's cute.
680
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,525
l think my brother's
a fagot.
681
00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:39,362
[cheerful music]
682
00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:44,199
Enjoy the show.
683
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,036
Hi, Des.
684
00:36:46,078 --> 00:36:47,038
Hey, Daddy-O.
685
00:36:47,121 --> 00:36:48,621
What's your tale
nightingale?
686
00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:49,916
Nothing much.
687
00:36:49,999 --> 00:36:51,419
Pretty crazzy outside, huh?
688
00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:52,880
lt's never been
this jammin'.
689
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,130
lt's totally Antsville.
690
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,552
Man.
691
00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:56,960
[chuckling nervously]
692
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,128
Hey, you look
so boss.
693
00:36:58,216 --> 00:36:59,546
You like it?
694
00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:01,264
l thought
it'd be appropriate,
695
00:37:01,344 --> 00:37:02,144
last night and all.
696
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:03,510
Sure.
697
00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:04,796
What can l do
for ya?
698
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,059
Uh, l need
a Twizzzzlers,
699
00:37:07,099 --> 00:37:09,309
a Coke and a popcorn,
700
00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:11,653
with extra extra
arsenic, please.
701
00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,559
That last order
is for big brother?
702
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,268
How could you tell?
703
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,398
Lucky guess. Let me
get that for ya.
704
00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:18,895
Sure.
705
00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,991
Snickers! Hey,
l'm sorry.
706
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:28,448
We're all out of butter
707
00:37:28,537 --> 00:37:29,907
but l can go get some
real quick.
708
00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:31,406
Nah, it's not a problem,
709
00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:32,959
l don't
wanna hold the line.
710
00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:34,632
(Desi)
Nah, nah, it's okay.
711
00:37:34,710 --> 00:37:37,090
l'll be back in a jiff.
Just hold on, okay?
712
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:43,465
[moaning and coughing]
713
00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:46,142
[grunting]
714
00:37:50,309 --> 00:37:52,439
[groaning in pain]
715
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:56,362
[suspenseful music]
716
00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:01,240
[sighing]
717
00:38:06,325 --> 00:38:07,775
[door opening]
718
00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:14,832
Golly.
719
00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:19,672
[suspenseful music]
720
00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:21,795
Beach, blanket,
721
00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:23,382
bingo!
722
00:38:23,467 --> 00:38:25,087
Hm. lt's open.
723
00:38:25,177 --> 00:38:27,967
[indistinct]
724
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:34,055
[door cIosing]
725
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:40,069
[gurgling]
726
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,414
So how's the car?
l saw you on King
last week, pretty cherry.
727
00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:49,330
You liked it?
l got it right outside
if you wanna take a look.
728
00:38:49,368 --> 00:38:50,988
Nifty. Really?
729
00:38:51,037 --> 00:38:53,497
You know. Maybe before
l hit back upstate,
730
00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,121
l'd like to take you
for a drive.
731
00:38:55,207 --> 00:38:58,417
Gee whizz. Um, yeah,
but only if you come.
732
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:00,712
[chuckling]
Hey, now.
733
00:39:00,796 --> 00:39:02,506
[Mr. K. over radio]
Well, kiddies.
734
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:04,420
Ready for another rush
735
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:08,218
rock and shock and roII?
[Iaughing viciousIy]
736
00:39:08,304 --> 00:39:10,104
Shit. To be continued.
737
00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:13,021
Absolutely, big tickler.
Come back after this one?
738
00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:14,679
That's a promise, Suzzy Q.
739
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,349
Ryan?
740
00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:17,847
Yeah.
741
00:39:17,938 --> 00:39:19,898
That's ten dollars.
742
00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:21,232
Ah! Right. Right.
743
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,780
Come back, okay?
744
00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:28,413
Swearzzies. Hope to die.
Later gator.
745
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:29,871
After a while, crocodile.
746
00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:36,919
Nice.
747
00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:39,629
(Mr. K.)
This next class
of cinematic sin
748
00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:42,460
stems from the outer reaches
749
00:39:42,546 --> 00:39:45,586
of Planet Taboo.
750
00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:48,934
So buckle up
your seat beIts--
751
00:39:49,011 --> 00:39:50,261
(Ryan)
Hey!
752
00:39:50,346 --> 00:39:52,466
HeIIo?
[thump]
753
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,136
Dude, fuck-head,
my door!
754
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,135
There's your fucking popcorn.
755
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,437
Thanks, Ryan!
756
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,100
Penis.
757
00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:04,648
About to unleash
the fantastic furry fury
758
00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:10,235
ofl Was a Teenage Werebear.
759
00:40:10,324 --> 00:40:12,914
[barking and howIing]
760
00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:16,502
[howling]
761
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,590
[maIe voice on radio]
Mark the Shark
rocking down the PCH
762
00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,303
with NBH.
763
00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:30,093
Yeah, baby,
Bobby Vinton.
764
00:40:30,177 --> 00:40:32,597
[woman moaning wiIdIy]
765
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,430
[soft pop music]
766
00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:37,846
[woman Iaughing wiIdIy]
767
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,110
Peggy Lou,
if you keep groping
like an octopus
768
00:40:45,192 --> 00:40:47,782
l'm gonna have to
tell you [indistinct]
769
00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:50,112
Now l'm
gonna make you
love me like Elvis.
770
00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:51,696
Geezz, me just met
last week
771
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,492
ain't you ever heard
of taking it slow?
772
00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:55,786
Slow is
for old-fashioned girls,
773
00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,160
not a modern woman
like me, now get over here.
774
00:40:58,247 --> 00:40:59,957
Are all the girls
in Malibu like you?
775
00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:02,249
Ricky, don't you
like boobies?
776
00:41:02,334 --> 00:41:03,334
(kid)
Hey, Ricky!
777
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:05,299
President Kennedy
778
00:41:05,379 --> 00:41:08,379
says we're going
to the moon!
[chuckIing]
779
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,376
[indistinct]
780
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,388
l see you finally found
your pot of gold, son.
781
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,680
Hi, Mr. O'Reilly.
Hi, Jimmy.
782
00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:17,223
(father)
Top 'o the mornin' to ya Ias.
I bIess you chiId,
783
00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,808
for finally putting
lrish whiskey
[indistinct]
784
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:21,524
Cut it, dad.
Nothing happened.
785
00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:23,614
Rickie's mother,
God rest her soul,
786
00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:26,569
never was much
for lrish whiskey,
if you know what l mean.
787
00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,400
Oh, you poor
old thing.
788
00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:30,856
lt's been a long,
lonely life.
789
00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:32,656
Everybody, shut up!
790
00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,525
What are you two
even doing here, anyway?
791
00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:39,579
You forgot your lunch
for school on the beach
day, dumdum.
792
00:41:39,663 --> 00:41:41,163
[playful chord]
793
00:41:41,248 --> 00:41:45,878
Oh, you're
tearing me apart!
794
00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:48,841
[funny car horn]
795
00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:50,593
[sighing]
796
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:53,554
l swear, l'll
never be like
my old man.
797
00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:55,846
He's such a perv.
798
00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:57,680
Oh, Rickie,
he isn't all that bad
799
00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:00,143
he just wants
what's best for his son.
800
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:04,266
I just don't wanna be
another washed up jock
slash war vet like him.
801
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:06,015
There's more to life.
802
00:42:06,106 --> 00:42:09,936
No, there's more
to me than,
803
00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:13,357
bouncing baIIs
[indistinct]
804
00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:14,857
More to life
than us?
805
00:42:14,907 --> 00:42:16,617
[silly chuckle]
806
00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:19,950
Ricky Patrick
O'Reilly, you're
doing it again.
807
00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:21,787
Doing what?
808
00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:24,082
You're looking away.
809
00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:34,625
♫ ls it something l do
lt it something l say, ♫
810
00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:38,558
♫ Every time l'm with you
l see you looking away ♫
811
00:42:38,597 --> 00:42:42,227
♫ They say the eyes are
The souI, doorway straight
To your heart ♫
812
00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,138
♫ lf you won't
Ever stay close ♫
813
00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:48,188
♫ lt's like
l just cut a fart ♫
814
00:42:50,192 --> 00:42:53,402
♫ Don't look away, baby ♫
815
00:42:53,445 --> 00:42:56,815
♫ Please, don't look away ♫
816
00:42:56,907 --> 00:43:00,287
♫ Stare me straight
ln the eyes ♫
817
00:43:00,369 --> 00:43:04,659
♫ With our hands
Between my thighs ♫
818
00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:09,378
♫ So please don't look away ♫
819
00:43:16,802 --> 00:43:20,182
♫ Baby give me some time
So l can make up my mind ♫
820
00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:21,934
♫ Just know
That it isn't you ♫
821
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:23,926
♫ These feelings
Make me so blue ♫
822
00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:25,938
♫ l'm trying
Real hard to find ♫
823
00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:27,688
♫ The one
That makes me feel right ♫
824
00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,651
♫ Till then l guess
That it's you ♫
825
00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:32,692
♫ That's just the best
l can do ♫
826
00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:37,196
♫ So l look away, baby ♫
827
00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:40,621
♫ l guess l'll look away ♫
828
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:44,501
♫ l can't take our eyes ♫
829
00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:48,040
♫ For you might see
The lies ♫
830
00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:53,545
♫ So l will look away ♫
831
00:43:56,842 --> 00:43:58,642
♫ Don't look away ♫
832
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,549
♫ l think
l'll look away ♫
833
00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,178
♫ Please
Don't look away ♫
834
00:44:02,264 --> 00:44:04,314
♫ l guess l'll look away ♫
835
00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:06,561
♫ Stare me straight
ln the eye ♫
836
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,144
♫ l can't take your eyes ♫
837
00:44:08,228 --> 00:44:10,058
♫ Place your hands
Between my thighs ♫
838
00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:12,687
♫ For you might see
The lies ♫
839
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,648
♫ Don't look away ♫
840
00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,488
(Ricky)
♫ l think l'll look away ♫
841
00:44:19,573 --> 00:44:21,663
♫ Tear me up inside ♫
842
00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:24,410
♫ You make me
Wanna go hide ♫
843
00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:27,905
(Ricky)
♫♫ l think l'll look away ♫♫
844
00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:30,708
[tires screeching]
845
00:44:30,793 --> 00:44:32,753
[engine roaring]
846
00:44:34,421 --> 00:44:36,171
[screaming]
847
00:44:36,256 --> 00:44:38,626
[loud crash]
848
00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:40,257
You saved me.
849
00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,354
Quite observant.
850
00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:46,018
Whoa. You dented
my Bronco.
851
00:44:46,058 --> 00:44:47,428
(Ricky)
You dented her.
852
00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:51,098
l got a boo boo.
[laughing]
853
00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:53,768
l see the new
kid's making nice
with the other team.
854
00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,727
What team
would that
be, Butch?
855
00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,779
The team
856
00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:01,662
no God-fearing
red-blooded American
857
00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:03,950
would be caught
dead playing for.
858
00:45:04,034 --> 00:45:05,584
l toss balls
with the boys.
859
00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:08,451
[scoffing]
ExactIy.
860
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:10,209
[aII Iaughing]
861
00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:12,040
[kissing]
862
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,916
(Ricky)
Look, Butch.
She needs help.
863
00:45:14,002 --> 00:45:17,132
The kind of help
that bird needs
ain't gonna come
864
00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:19,764
from a Melvin like you.
865
00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,052
(all)
Ooooh.
866
00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:26,600
See ya in class,
bitch sticks.
867
00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:27,892
(all chuckling)
868
00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:31,063
She don't
look so good.
869
00:45:31,103 --> 00:45:32,523
(Talon)
l've seen worse.
870
00:45:32,604 --> 00:45:33,944
[chuckling]
871
00:45:34,022 --> 00:45:36,072
l don't know
how to thank you.
872
00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:39,438
You'll think
of something. They
always think of something.
873
00:45:39,528 --> 00:45:41,488
Wait. What's your names?
874
00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:47,160
Talon. Dan. Den.
875
00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:48,294
l'm--
876
00:45:48,370 --> 00:45:50,660
Ricky. We know.
877
00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:08,595
[foreign accent]
You did good
bringing her to me.
878
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:12,520
With a little snoozze
she'll be A-okay.
[background ocean]
879
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,773
Shouldn't we bring
her to the hospital?
880
00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:17,185
♫ You got a pee pee
Stick it in my poo poo ♫
881
00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,114
♫♫ Make it go boom! ♫♫
882
00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:23,323
The brains, they spill
a little bit crazzy.
She fine.
883
00:46:23,405 --> 00:46:27,985
[eerie, echoing maIe voice]
Ricky. Ricky.
884
00:46:31,246 --> 00:46:34,616
[echoing]
Go away,
you nasty beasty!
885
00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:39,298
Take your filthy
vermin with you.
Shoo! Shoo!
886
00:46:39,379 --> 00:46:43,509
[triumphant romantic music]
887
00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:09,622
(Nurse Maleva)
Shoo!
888
00:47:09,701 --> 00:47:11,661
Shoo!
889
00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:17,205
Take your foul
animuIes with you.
Shoo. Shoo.
890
00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:21,172
You stay away
from those kind.
891
00:47:21,213 --> 00:47:24,223
Yeah, well those
kind saved me.
892
00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:32,894
[cheerful music]
893
00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:57,463
[whistIe bIowing]
894
00:47:57,541 --> 00:47:59,791
[audience booing]
895
00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:02,297
So Big Bad Butch
ain't so bad after all.
896
00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,299
Aw, the heck
with that, coach!
897
00:48:04,381 --> 00:48:06,551
Tinker Bell
didn't pin me.
898
00:48:06,633 --> 00:48:08,343
l was distracted.
899
00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:09,887
[giggling]
900
00:48:09,928 --> 00:48:11,098
[chuckling]
All right. Who's next?
901
00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,969
(Talon)
Me.
902
00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:16,476
(coach)
Oh, so l see
Mr. Ducktale
903
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,650
finally decided to join us
in class this semester.
904
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,650
Couldn't get a note
from your quack?
905
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,112
Them two are sweet
on each other.
906
00:48:23,191 --> 00:48:24,941
Take that
back, Butch!
907
00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,397
(coach)
Yo! Yo! Save it
for the mat.
908
00:48:27,487 --> 00:48:28,817
l don't mind if l do.
909
00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,486
[hard rock music]
910
00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:34,075
[both grunting and groaning]
911
00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,287
Give in, Rick.
912
00:48:38,373 --> 00:48:39,423
Give in to me.
913
00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:40,749
Never!
914
00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,172
You can run from me
915
00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:45,592
but you can't run
from yourself.
916
00:48:45,631 --> 00:48:47,341
Get off me now!
917
00:48:47,424 --> 00:48:50,264
[horror music]
918
00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:52,434
[growIing]
919
00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:54,012
[shouting]
920
00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,267
Yo, what did l tell
you about biting?
921
00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,938
(Talon)
Sorry, coach,
l skipped breakfast.
922
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:02,649
(coach)
Skipped breakfast?
Wiseguy, huh? Okay,
three miIe run everybody
923
00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:04,691
you can all thank
wiseguy over here.
924
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,105
Everybody let's go.
925
00:49:06,151 --> 00:49:08,321
Come on. Get go.
Get going.
926
00:49:20,832 --> 00:49:21,922
[thump]
927
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,710
♫ l got a feeling ♫
928
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,795
♫ A feeling
That l'm gonna explode ♫
929
00:49:27,881 --> 00:49:31,091
♫ Yes, l've got this feeling ♫
930
00:49:31,176 --> 00:49:35,296
♫ How much longer
Must l hold my load? ♫
931
00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:41,637
♫ Oh, what do l do? ♫
932
00:49:44,898 --> 00:49:46,568
♫ Purge this urge ♫
933
00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:49,900
♫ Oh, God, l really
Gotta purge this urge ♫
934
00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:52,697
♫ lf nothing else
l've gotta purge ♫
935
00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:55,201
♫ This urge ♫
936
00:49:55,283 --> 00:49:58,333
♫ Ooh Ooh ♫
937
00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:02,748
♫ Purge this urge ♫
938
00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:06,628
♫ The time is coming ♫
939
00:50:09,172 --> 00:50:10,922
♫ When l gotta choose ♫
940
00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:13,048
♫ There's no more hiding ♫
941
00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:17,965
♫ No more playing
By the boss man's rules ♫
942
00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:24,310
♫ l've got to find
My own way ♫
943
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,484
♫♫ Purge this urge! ♫♫
944
00:50:28,567 --> 00:50:30,277
[music stops abruptIy]
945
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,610
ls there something
you wanna talk
about, kid?
946
00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:34,276
[ beII ringing]
947
00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,624
(Ricky)
My mother, before she died,
948
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,410
she said, "Ricky,
949
00:50:39,494 --> 00:50:43,254
always be true to yourself".
And l try to be.
950
00:50:43,331 --> 00:50:48,171
But l get these feelings.
951
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:51,633
Uh, these, urges.
952
00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:58,224
And they feel true,
they feel so right.
953
00:50:58,263 --> 00:51:01,563
But,
954
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,480
so wrong.
955
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,560
Ricky, it may come
as a surprise to you, kid.
956
00:51:06,646 --> 00:51:09,726
Coach Tuffman gets
those kind of urges too.
957
00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:12,485
You don't think l ,
[chuckling]
958
00:51:12,569 --> 00:51:15,399
watch you guys
shower after class?
959
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:18,489
Soaping up your biceps,
960
00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:19,985
your abs,
961
00:51:20,077 --> 00:51:21,657
glutes.
962
00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:24,455
Whoa. l think it's time
for me to bug out.
963
00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:26,999
Ricky, sit down. Relax.
964
00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,504
This is between
me and you, right?
965
00:51:29,586 --> 00:51:34,256
I'm gonna do something
for you my wife will
never do for me.
966
00:51:34,341 --> 00:51:36,181
That dusty old wench.
[chuckling]
967
00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:39,299
Hey!
968
00:51:39,387 --> 00:51:40,967
[coach, groaning]
969
00:51:41,056 --> 00:51:43,346
[suspenseful music]
970
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:49,555
[both shouting]
971
00:51:58,698 --> 00:52:01,028
Tastes like chicken,
huh, babe?
972
00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:04,578
[sad music]
973
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:11,171
l don't know
what's happening to me.
974
00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:15,173
lt's as if suddenly
l have this strength,
that, like--
975
00:52:15,257 --> 00:52:17,507
Of a grizzzzly?
976
00:52:17,592 --> 00:52:20,552
Listen. Don't
have a cow.
977
00:52:20,637 --> 00:52:23,057
We got your back.
978
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,060
You did this.
979
00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:29,652
lt was your bite!
My ass!
980
00:52:29,729 --> 00:52:33,859
What? What are you?
981
00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:36,992
The same as you.
982
00:52:37,028 --> 00:52:39,488
(Butch)
Oooh.
983
00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,783
Look who we've got here.
984
00:52:41,867 --> 00:52:44,237
Clean up for coach
like good little boys?
985
00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:46,367
More like
cleaning up coach.
986
00:52:46,454 --> 00:52:48,044
[guys Iaughing]
987
00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:51,833
Time to teach
the fairy brigade
a lesson.
988
00:52:51,918 --> 00:52:52,998
[beII ringing]
989
00:52:53,044 --> 00:52:54,384
Ugh.
990
00:52:54,462 --> 00:52:56,172
(Butch)
My pops toId me
991
00:52:56,256 --> 00:52:58,506
this is how you teach
Iessons to pansies
992
00:52:58,550 --> 00:53:00,010
993
00:53:00,093 --> 00:53:03,103
Sounds like pops
knows how to party.
994
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,390
Leave him
alone, Butch!
995
00:53:04,472 --> 00:53:06,772
Shut up,
Nancy boy!
996
00:53:06,850 --> 00:53:08,230
You're next.
997
00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:10,600
Gentlemen.
998
00:53:10,687 --> 00:53:13,897
[aII chanting]
PIug him up!
PIug him up!
PIug him up!
999
00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:17,572
Plug him up!
Plug him up!
Plug him up!
1000
00:53:17,652 --> 00:53:19,742
This is for you, Jesus.
1001
00:53:19,821 --> 00:53:21,071
[grunting]
1002
00:53:21,156 --> 00:53:25,866
Plug him up!
Plug him up!
1003
00:53:25,952 --> 00:53:27,622
[chuckling]
1004
00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:30,084
Plug him up!
Plug him up!
1005
00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:31,285
[growling]
1006
00:53:31,374 --> 00:53:32,714
[suspenseful music]
1007
00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:34,131
Plug him up!
1008
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:36,921
[loud growling
and horror chord]
1009
00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:44,471
[roaring]
1010
00:53:44,554 --> 00:53:47,144
[shrill scream]
1011
00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,774
You okay, dude?
1012
00:53:48,850 --> 00:53:51,640
[Butch, giggIing hystericaIIy]
1013
00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:53,728
Man, l was just playing.
1014
00:53:53,813 --> 00:53:55,313
lt was just a joke.
1015
00:53:55,398 --> 00:53:57,728
lt's a party, daddy Os!
1016
00:53:57,776 --> 00:53:58,776
[swoosh]
1017
00:53:58,860 --> 00:54:00,990
[screaming]
1018
00:54:01,071 --> 00:54:04,241
[intense rock music]
1019
00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:06,244
Ugh!
1020
00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:07,616
[slap]
1021
00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:09,832
[shouting]
1022
00:54:09,913 --> 00:54:11,083
[crying]
1023
00:54:11,164 --> 00:54:13,504
[shouting]
1024
00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:17,801
[playful music]
1025
00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:22,298
[intense rock music
and crying]
1026
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:28,062
l never promised
l'd be gentle.
1027
00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:37,524
Now you know what we are.
And what you are!
1028
00:54:37,607 --> 00:54:39,437
(Ricky)
No. l'm not
like any of you.
1029
00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:46,823
Angsty little dude.
1030
00:54:46,908 --> 00:54:48,988
[shouting]
1031
00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:50,947
My darling.
lt's good for your head.
1032
00:54:51,037 --> 00:54:52,867
Call me, Sybill!
1033
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,366
Nurse Maleva,
you've gotta help me.
1034
00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:56,957
Just calm down.
Tell me everything.
1035
00:54:57,043 --> 00:54:58,883
You were right.
Talon, the twins,
1036
00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:01,672
they're not
just different,
they're-- They're--
1037
00:55:01,756 --> 00:55:03,376
Werebears.
1038
00:55:03,466 --> 00:55:04,796
Werebears!
1039
00:55:04,884 --> 00:55:06,344
l'm sorry.
l don't understand.
1040
00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:10,638
Where l am from,
there is old saying
1041
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,234
Even a boy
who thinks he's straight
1042
00:55:14,311 --> 00:55:16,811
yet shaves
his balls by night,
1043
00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:20,475
may become a Werebear
from the hormones
of age
1044
00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:23,817
and the Iatent urge
takes flight.
1045
00:55:23,903 --> 00:55:25,453
So you're saying--
1046
00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:28,070
Once bitten,
anytime you get aroused,
1047
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:30,328
you become that
which bit you.
1048
00:55:30,368 --> 00:55:31,738
And you attack
those you lust after.
1049
00:55:31,828 --> 00:55:33,368
Lust after?
1050
00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:38,165
l think you know
what l'm talking about.
1051
00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:39,881
[playful ping]
1052
00:55:39,961 --> 00:55:41,341
Homo!
1053
00:55:41,421 --> 00:55:43,711
No. l am
not a homo!
1054
00:55:43,798 --> 00:55:47,008
l'm a, Werebear.
1055
00:55:47,052 --> 00:55:48,932
[ominous chord]
1056
00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:51,642
[cheerful rock music]
1057
00:56:03,651 --> 00:56:05,031
Looking for these?
1058
00:56:05,111 --> 00:56:06,861
[sighing]
1059
00:56:09,824 --> 00:56:11,204
l'm going to the police.
1060
00:56:11,284 --> 00:56:14,204
Well, don't forget
to tell them
1061
00:56:14,287 --> 00:56:16,617
what you did to good old
Coach Tuffman.
1062
00:56:16,706 --> 00:56:18,366
He was trying to molest me.
1063
00:56:18,416 --> 00:56:20,126
Ricky. Ricky. Ricky.
1064
00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:21,790
You can't molest
the willing.
1065
00:56:21,878 --> 00:56:23,208
[growling]
1066
00:56:23,254 --> 00:56:26,974
[light growl]
1067
00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:30,890
You're such
a cub, Ricky.
All show and no go.
1068
00:56:30,929 --> 00:56:34,809
Who's talking about
not being like everybody
else, you just wanna be you.
1069
00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:36,811
This is you.
1070
00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:40,603
No. You did this to me.
1071
00:56:40,688 --> 00:56:43,398
[thump]
You could ask yourself
a question, brother.
1072
00:56:43,441 --> 00:56:47,321
[panting]
Did the bite
put the beast in you?
1073
00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:49,864
Or let it out.
1074
00:56:53,034 --> 00:56:55,704
[snapping]
1075
00:56:59,916 --> 00:57:04,626
♫ Love, Iove, Iove
Bit me on the ass ♫
1076
00:57:04,712 --> 00:57:07,092
♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫
1077
00:57:07,132 --> 00:57:09,342
♫ lt got me by surprise ♫
1078
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:11,586
♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫
1079
00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:14,136
♫ Took teeth to realizze ♫
1080
00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:16,932
♫ That l'm just
A lonely boy ♫
1081
00:57:17,016 --> 00:57:19,266
♫ Yes, deep down l'm blue ♫
1082
00:57:19,352 --> 00:57:21,692
♫ But when l'm
unleash the beast ♫
1083
00:57:21,771 --> 00:57:24,361
♫ To myself l'm true ♫
1084
00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:34,121
♫ Love, Iove, Iove,
Bit me on the ass ♫
1085
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,790
♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫
1086
00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:39,290
♫ Bit me deep down too ♫
1087
00:57:39,372 --> 00:57:41,462
♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫
1088
00:57:41,499 --> 00:57:43,459
♫ But no way am l like you ♫
1089
00:57:43,501 --> 00:57:46,461
♫ l may be quite different ♫
1090
00:57:46,546 --> 00:57:48,376
♫ But l am not a beast ♫
1091
00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:51,375
♫ l just want to cuddle ♫
1092
00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:53,758
♫ And you just wanna feast ♫
1093
00:57:53,845 --> 00:58:24,165
♫ Love, Iove, Iove,
Bit me on the ass ♫
1094
00:58:24,209 --> 00:58:26,999
♫♫ Love, Iove, Iove ♫♫
1095
00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:28,455
[both, growling]
1096
00:58:33,801 --> 00:58:38,011
Meet me tonight
at the luau.
lt's gonna be a bloodbath.
1097
00:58:38,097 --> 00:58:41,557
What do you mean
[growling]
with "bloodbath"?
1098
00:58:41,643 --> 00:58:45,063
lt means that the guys
are gonna shake things
up at the school dance.
1099
00:58:45,146 --> 00:58:48,516
Payback time for those
small-minded haters.
[chuckling]
1100
00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,528
l can't be
part of that, Talon.
1101
00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,281
You can't be part of that.
1102
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:56,113
This is not how you
gain acceptance.
1103
00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:59,369
[panting]
1104
00:58:59,410 --> 00:59:05,000
Well, then l guess
l'll see ya when
l'll see ya.
1105
00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:21,101
[soft pop music]
1106
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:29,404
♫ l saw you dancing ♫
1107
00:59:29,482 --> 00:59:32,612
♫ Barefoot in the sand ♫
1108
00:59:36,447 --> 00:59:41,237
♫ l can love you
Like no other can ♫
1109
00:59:41,327 --> 00:59:46,247
♫ Sexy ways
Sexy ways ♫
1110
00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:50,841
♫♫ Sexy ways
Sexy ways ♫♫
1111
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,340
[applause]
1112
00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:55,763
[audience booing]
1113
00:59:58,469 --> 01:00:02,509
You've all given us
such a warm welcome
this first week at school.
1114
01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:05,269
You definitely deserve
this next number, it's, uh,
1115
01:00:05,351 --> 01:00:08,351
It's pretty bear-tastic.
1116
01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:12,688
[rock music begins]
1117
01:00:20,783 --> 01:00:24,163
♫ Well, we got a new dance
lt's the hit of the land ♫
1118
01:00:27,081 --> 01:00:30,711
♫ All you gotta do
is thrust when you stand ♫
1119
01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:35,879
♫ [indistinct]a squeal,
a grunt, and a squirt ♫
1120
01:00:38,134 --> 01:00:43,314
♫ Yeah, it's called the Warebear
And it just might hurt ♫
1121
01:00:43,348 --> 01:00:45,638
♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫
1122
01:00:45,725 --> 01:00:49,475
♫ And let
The Werebear do you ♫
1123
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:52,360
♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫
1124
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:56,650
♫ Right here in Malibu ♫
1125
01:00:59,572 --> 01:01:01,622
(all)
Yeah!
1126
01:01:01,699 --> 01:01:05,489
♫ Sweeping the nation
Just like civil rights
Werebear ♫
1127
01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:10,368
♫ lt's the latest sensation
For long long lonely nights ♫
1128
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:12,628
♫ Werebear ♫
1129
01:01:12,710 --> 01:01:14,670
l knew you would
come, son.
1130
01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:17,014
♫ Four, three, two, thrust ♫
1131
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:19,548
l know now what
l must do, Maleva.
1132
01:01:19,634 --> 01:01:21,594
♫ Three, thrust ♫
1133
01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:25,848
♫ l wanna do it again
Let's do the Werebear ♫
1134
01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:29,392
♫ And let
The Werebear do you ♫
1135
01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,687
♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫
1136
01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:36,231
♫ Right here in Malibu ♫
1137
01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:41,236
Yeah!
1138
01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:44,282
♫ One, two, three, thrust ♫
1139
01:01:44,367 --> 01:01:46,617
[moaning]
1140
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,873
♫ One, two, three, thrust
One, two, three, thrust ♫
1141
01:01:49,956 --> 01:01:52,746
[growling]
♫ Do it again ♫
1142
01:01:52,834 --> 01:01:54,584
[moaning]
1143
01:01:54,669 --> 01:01:59,049
♫ One, two, three, thrust
Oh, it never has to end ♫
1144
01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:01,972
♫ One, two, three, thrust
One, two, three, thrust ♫
1145
01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:05,391
[growling and shouting]
1146
01:02:05,471 --> 01:02:07,391
♫♫ One, two, three,
Thrust, oh! ♫♫
1147
01:02:07,473 --> 01:02:08,603
♫ Everybody gather round ♫
1148
01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:10,393
[audience gasping]
1149
01:02:10,476 --> 01:02:12,976
♫ You better not let
This madness go down ♫
1150
01:02:13,062 --> 01:02:16,982
♫ They got good lines
They fuck real good ♫
1151
01:02:17,066 --> 01:02:21,646
♫♫ But they just want
To make you their food ♫♫
1152
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,032
Yeah!
1153
01:02:26,117 --> 01:02:27,777
[music stops]
1154
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:30,409
[both growling]
1155
01:02:30,496 --> 01:02:33,746
Violence and hatred
is not the answer.
1156
01:02:33,833 --> 01:02:38,343
lf we are to be accepted
we must show love
and tolerance.
1157
01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:41,381
There are human beings
out there, Talon.
1158
01:02:41,466 --> 01:02:43,676
Not snacks.
1159
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,340
[chuckling]
1160
01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:48,508
Nice speech, Gandhi.
1161
01:02:48,598 --> 01:02:51,848
But we're hungry!
[suspenseful music]
1162
01:02:51,934 --> 01:02:53,694
[shouting]
1163
01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:56,310
[ominous music]
1164
01:02:56,397 --> 01:03:02,107
[general screaming
and growling]
1165
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,945
[suspenseful music continues]
1166
01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:08,332
(Talon)
l freed you
from a life of conformity.
1167
01:03:08,409 --> 01:03:11,449
l unleashed you
from the mundane.
1168
01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:13,116
[punches and screaming]
1169
01:03:15,416 --> 01:03:18,996
(Ricky)
You chained me to a life
of bloodloss!
1170
01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:40,774
[shouting]
1171
01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:45,238
[screaming]
1172
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:52,117
[shouting]
1173
01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,500
Help me, Maleva!
1174
01:04:02,088 --> 01:04:06,548
(Maleva)
Yes, Ricky.
You know what to do.
1175
01:04:06,634 --> 01:04:09,224
[shouting
and suspenseful chord]
1176
01:04:16,227 --> 01:04:18,977
[both panting]
1177
01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:25,896
[sad music]
Maybe--
1178
01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:29,777
l should've been
more like you.
1179
01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:33,116
We can change
the world together.
1180
01:04:33,202 --> 01:04:35,122
You still can.
1181
01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:39,044
[panting]
Go get 'em, kid.
1182
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,035
Make sure
1183
01:04:41,085 --> 01:04:44,835
you tell them
that l'm not a monster.
1184
01:04:46,924 --> 01:04:50,014
You know, Werebears
need love too.
1185
01:05:07,987 --> 01:05:10,067
[howling]
1186
01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,658
(Tobe)
Wow. Not enough gay.
1187
01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:21,167
(Ryan)
Yeah, l mean,
De Palma, ripping
this off for Carrey?
1188
01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:23,290
(Tobe)
Why are you surprised?
lt's De Palma.
1189
01:05:23,377 --> 01:05:26,917
What-- What l don't get,
is if they just shaved
their chests
1190
01:05:26,964 --> 01:05:28,924
wouldn't their curse
be lifted?
1191
01:05:28,966 --> 01:05:31,466
l mean,
that's what it took
to be a Werebear. Right?
1192
01:05:31,552 --> 01:05:33,432
Uh. Sure.
1193
01:05:33,512 --> 01:05:35,472
l feel like l would've
used something
less invasive.
1194
01:05:35,556 --> 01:05:38,346
You know, like,
instead of a dildo,
maybe a silver razzor.
1195
01:05:38,434 --> 01:05:40,104
[chuckling
and squeaking sound]
1196
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,346
What was that?
1197
01:05:42,438 --> 01:05:45,268
That's what scientists
refer to as the one
cheek sneak.
1198
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:48,278
Anyone want anything
from the concession stand?
1199
01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:49,361
l'm gonna go talk to Mr. K.
1200
01:05:49,445 --> 01:05:50,945
l'm good.
1201
01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:52,820
Nah, just bring Desi
back if you can.
1202
01:05:52,907 --> 01:05:55,617
Yeah, sure, l'll
be right back.
[clearing throat]
1203
01:05:55,701 --> 01:05:57,871
[farting]
1204
01:06:03,751 --> 01:06:05,791
[continues farting]
1205
01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:11,221
ls it hot in here
or is it just me?
1206
01:06:11,300 --> 01:06:13,090
lt's you.
1207
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:19,015
How 'bout you sideburns,
want some of this milk
it may cool you off?
1208
01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,770
l'd rather
have a beer.
[chuckling]
1209
01:06:20,851 --> 01:06:22,641
Nice.
1210
01:06:22,728 --> 01:06:24,648
Okay. Saw you,
Mr. CockbIock.
1211
01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:26,060
[mumbling]
1212
01:06:26,148 --> 01:06:28,018
Hey, is there
any popcorn left?
1213
01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:30,899
Fresh out.
1214
01:06:30,987 --> 01:06:32,987
Want me
to get some more
before the next fIick?
1215
01:06:33,072 --> 01:06:34,912
Yeah. l'll
just be here
getting manhandled.
1216
01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:36,661
Really?
1217
01:06:36,742 --> 01:06:38,832
[baby gibberish]
1218
01:06:40,705 --> 01:06:42,825
Oh. l could just
eat you up.
1219
01:06:42,915 --> 01:06:47,335
♫ lt's all over, darling ♫
1220
01:06:47,378 --> 01:06:48,668
♫♫ because l-- ♫♫
1221
01:06:48,754 --> 01:06:50,094
[door opening]
1222
01:06:50,172 --> 01:06:51,672
Hey, Mr. K.
How you holding up?
1223
01:06:51,716 --> 01:06:53,376
Jesus, l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
1224
01:06:53,467 --> 01:06:55,087
Boy, dammit.
1225
01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:56,717
Does anybody knock anymore?
1226
01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:58,054
l'm an old man here.
1227
01:06:58,139 --> 01:06:59,309
Mr. K.,
l'm sorry, sir, l--
1228
01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:00,930
Don't apoIogizze.
1229
01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:04,517
Put, put, put, put
your hands down, son.
1230
01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,942
Wow. Thanks
for the six heart attacks.
1231
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:10,364
Do you have a minute
to talk. l , l need to.
1232
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:14,613
Well, sure thing. But, uh, go
over to the projector first
1233
01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:16,697
and flip on my call, okay?
1234
01:07:16,782 --> 01:07:18,912
Yeah, you got it, Mr. K.
1235
01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:22,615
[screaming and thunder]
1236
01:07:22,705 --> 01:07:28,245
Welcome back,
boyls and ghouls.
1237
01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:33,915
Anybody not off
to eternal slumber yet?
1238
01:07:34,008 --> 01:07:36,798
[horns honking]
1239
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:41,306
Tonight they
wiII bask in the gIory
of the unconventionaI.
1240
01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:44,730
spit in the eye of morality
1241
01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:48,690
and feast on the art
of the damned.
1242
01:07:48,773 --> 01:07:51,983
With a film
that will test your tastes
1243
01:07:52,068 --> 01:07:56,948
and rock the very fabric
of your senses!
[laughing]
1244
01:07:57,031 --> 01:08:01,411
[German accent]
And first, it's time
to bear witness
1245
01:08:01,494 --> 01:08:04,624
to the Bible of bad taste,
1246
01:08:04,705 --> 01:08:09,915
The Diary
of Anne Frankenstein!
1247
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:13,460
[rattIing and spooky
piano music]
1248
01:08:13,547 --> 01:08:18,547
[1 930s music]
1249
01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:29,557
[speaking German]
1250
01:09:10,729 --> 01:09:14,069
[intense suspenseful music]
1251
01:09:31,750 --> 01:09:32,750
Sh.
1252
01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:42,638
[crash]
1253
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:43,760
[shouting]
1254
01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:56,981
[suspenseful music stops]
1255
01:10:06,535 --> 01:10:08,195
[suspenseful music resumes]
1256
01:10:37,942 --> 01:10:38,862
[growling]
1257
01:11:17,856 --> 01:11:20,356
[playful music]
1258
01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:29,116
[chuckling]
1259
01:11:29,201 --> 01:11:30,991
[Anna, chuckling]
1260
01:11:31,078 --> 01:11:32,948
[mocking, laughing]
1261
01:11:33,038 --> 01:11:34,458
[all, laughing]
1262
01:11:53,058 --> 01:12:00,978
[gunshots]
1263
01:12:13,370 --> 01:12:15,290
[thunder]
1264
01:12:43,108 --> 01:12:44,438
[both soldiers]
Heil, Hitler!
1265
01:12:44,526 --> 01:12:49,856
[indistinct]
1266
01:12:49,948 --> 01:12:51,568
Scheisse.
1267
01:13:07,716 --> 01:13:09,216
[knocking]
1268
01:13:22,106 --> 01:13:23,436
[chuckling]
1269
01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:24,774
Boop!
1270
01:14:03,063 --> 01:14:04,693
[playful music]
1271
01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:07,898
[both, laughing]
1272
01:14:10,612 --> 01:14:11,652
Poofta.
1273
01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:37,161
(both)
HeiI, Hitler!
1274
01:16:07,062 --> 01:16:08,732
[suspenseful music]
1275
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:51,896
[singing, sweet music]
1276
01:17:20,677 --> 01:17:22,257
[suspenseful music]
1277
01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:23,506
(Eva)
Oh, mein Gott.
1278
01:18:46,888 --> 01:18:48,598
[heavenIy music]
1279
01:18:51,852 --> 01:18:53,392
[growling]
1280
01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:45,608
[purring]
1281
01:19:49,242 --> 01:19:54,212
[growling]
1282
01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,170
Heil, Hitler!
1283
01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,515
Meshugannah.
1284
01:20:58,645 --> 01:20:59,845
Huh?
1285
01:21:14,244 --> 01:21:15,374
[growling softly]
1286
01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:32,143
[continues encouraging]
1287
01:22:38,161 --> 01:22:39,201
[growling]
1288
01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:44,705
[intense suspenseful music]
1289
01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:47,586
(both)
Nein!
1290
01:22:49,130 --> 01:22:50,970
[indistinct]
1291
01:22:55,595 --> 01:22:57,095
[sound of wet meat]
1292
01:22:57,180 --> 01:22:58,140
[screaming]
1293
01:23:25,875 --> 01:23:28,665
[groaning]
What the fuck?
1294
01:23:38,096 --> 01:23:39,426
[suspenseful music]
1295
01:24:00,410 --> 01:24:03,120
[gunshots]
1296
01:24:30,690 --> 01:24:33,900
[intense suspenseful music
and screaming continues]
1297
01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:07,676
[Eva and Hitler
alternate screaming]
1298
01:25:07,769 --> 01:25:09,059
[growling]
1299
01:25:21,574 --> 01:25:23,034
[both, sighing
in relief]
1300
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:25,618
[all scream]
1301
01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:42,639
[sound of wet meat]
1302
01:25:54,607 --> 01:25:55,727
[growling]
1303
01:26:10,498 --> 01:26:11,708
Oh!
1304
01:26:40,445 --> 01:26:41,605
[ripping,
screaming]
1305
01:26:58,046 --> 01:27:00,126
[traditionaI Jewish music]
1306
01:27:23,613 --> 01:27:25,743
(male voice, on screen)
What is it?
[chorus singing]
1307
01:27:25,782 --> 01:27:28,582
More popcorn?
1308
01:27:28,618 --> 01:27:32,078
[on screen singing]
♫ Two hot popcorns
Mix it up, wrap it up ♫
1309
01:27:32,121 --> 01:27:34,211
♫ Butter it up ♫
1310
01:27:34,290 --> 01:27:36,750
[thump and moaning]
1311
01:27:36,834 --> 01:27:39,844
l got big plans
for you, baby.
1312
01:27:39,921 --> 01:27:41,631
Nice. Nice.
1313
01:27:41,714 --> 01:27:42,844
You like that, baby?
1314
01:27:42,924 --> 01:27:44,304
Hm. Yeah.
1315
01:27:44,384 --> 01:27:47,184
[moaning]
Loads of possibilities.
1316
01:27:47,262 --> 01:27:51,182
24.000 square
feet, Starbucks,
1317
01:27:51,266 --> 01:27:54,686
Food court, oh, I get hard
just thinking about it.
1318
01:27:54,769 --> 01:27:57,809
Yeah.
[crunching, moaning]
1319
01:27:57,897 --> 01:28:00,437
Hm. That's good. Hm.
1320
01:28:00,525 --> 01:28:03,235
Oh. So, so good.
1321
01:28:03,319 --> 01:28:05,199
Hm. Delicious.
1322
01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:08,620
Hey. Are you
enjoying my mouth
or the fucking popcorn?
1323
01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,120
Well, both, baby.
1324
01:28:10,201 --> 01:28:12,541
lt's kind of a big
fantasy for me.
1325
01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:15,460
Well, are you sure?
'Cause it seems you're
getting aII orgasmic
1326
01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:16,870
about your fucking snacks.
1327
01:28:16,958 --> 01:28:20,458
[stomach noises
and grunting]
1328
01:28:20,503 --> 01:28:23,383
Jesus, are you okay?
1329
01:28:23,464 --> 01:28:25,264
Yeah, just, uh,
l feel hot.
Kinda hot.
1330
01:28:25,341 --> 01:28:27,511
Don't stop. Come on.
[stomach noises]
1331
01:28:27,593 --> 01:28:30,723
Okay. Tell me when you're
gonna pop. You know l
don't like the taste.
1332
01:28:30,805 --> 01:28:32,965
Yeah. Yeah. Ugh.
1333
01:28:40,106 --> 01:28:41,476
[groaning and gurgIing]
1334
01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:47,737
[suspenseful music]
1335
01:28:47,822 --> 01:28:49,322
What--
1336
01:28:49,407 --> 01:28:51,117
[growling]
1337
01:28:57,582 --> 01:28:58,922
[wet meat and cracking]
1338
01:28:59,000 --> 01:29:00,170
[wet meat
and growIing]
1339
01:29:00,209 --> 01:29:03,089
[background radio]
1340
01:29:03,171 --> 01:29:05,301
[horror chord]
1341
01:29:12,221 --> 01:29:14,431
More head.
1342
01:29:14,515 --> 01:29:17,385
[groaning]
1343
01:29:17,477 --> 01:29:20,017
[crunching, moaning]
1344
01:29:23,107 --> 01:29:25,187
[soft growling]
1345
01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:30,235
[loud thump]
1346
01:29:30,323 --> 01:29:31,203
What the fuck?
1347
01:29:31,282 --> 01:29:32,452
[chuckling]
1348
01:29:32,533 --> 01:29:33,743
l just washed
this car.
1349
01:29:33,826 --> 01:29:35,286
He's got
blue slushies!
1350
01:29:35,370 --> 01:29:37,700
Oh! l'm like freaking
out right now!
1351
01:29:37,789 --> 01:29:39,369
All right. What were
we talking about?
1352
01:29:39,415 --> 01:29:41,455
Tobe. l should probably go--
1353
01:29:41,542 --> 01:29:43,542
Talk to Tobe.
1354
01:29:43,628 --> 01:29:46,048
I think you
should talk to him.
That's my piece.
1355
01:29:46,089 --> 01:29:49,799
That's fine! Screw it!
Just tell me how
it begins.
1356
01:29:49,884 --> 01:29:52,974
Roger Wilco.
Red five. Standing by.
1357
01:29:53,054 --> 01:29:54,644
Hm. Nerdy one.
1358
01:29:54,722 --> 01:29:56,142
Yeah, and you
getting that line
1359
01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,604
makes you one
of the good ones.
1360
01:29:57,683 --> 01:29:59,063
[door cIosing]
1361
01:29:59,102 --> 01:30:03,272
Which makes me,
the final girl.
1362
01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:08,938
(Announcer)
And now, on with the show.
1363
01:30:11,906 --> 01:30:13,816
[thunder
and screaming recording]
1364
01:30:13,908 --> 01:30:16,828
Well, my Chilly Chillens,
1365
01:30:16,911 --> 01:30:21,921
l hope you're still
with us for the long
[indistinct]
[vicious laughing]
1366
01:30:28,005 --> 01:30:33,585
(Mr. K.)
For this popuIar abomination
you've all been waiting for.
1367
01:30:33,636 --> 01:30:37,676
The final sinful centerpiece,
1368
01:30:37,765 --> 01:30:40,845
of our last evening together.
1369
01:30:40,935 --> 01:30:43,345
Hey.
1370
01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:45,478
So, l need to get
something off my chest.
1371
01:30:45,565 --> 01:30:47,475
l-- l--
1372
01:30:47,567 --> 01:30:51,987
(Mr. K.
You are gonna see
some serious shit!
1373
01:30:52,071 --> 01:30:53,701
Whoa.
1374
01:30:53,781 --> 01:30:56,121
lt's just like
in the movies, huh?
1375
01:30:56,200 --> 01:30:58,450
l-- l--
1376
01:30:58,536 --> 01:31:00,656
l got nothing.
1377
01:31:00,746 --> 01:31:04,706
(Mr. K)
The most viIe and offensive
1378
01:31:04,792 --> 01:31:07,382
stock of ceIIuIoid.
1379
01:31:07,462 --> 01:31:12,972
Here is Deathication.
[Iaughing viciousIy]
1380
01:31:15,928 --> 01:31:18,508
[spooky music]
1381
01:31:23,436 --> 01:31:25,686
[door opening]
1382
01:31:25,771 --> 01:31:27,651
Oh, hello.
1383
01:31:27,690 --> 01:31:29,070
l didn't see you there.
1384
01:31:29,150 --> 01:31:30,820
Come in, won't you?
1385
01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:37,656
Would you mind, uh,
closing the door, please?
1386
01:31:37,742 --> 01:31:38,832
[cIosing door]
1387
01:31:38,910 --> 01:31:40,660
Thank you very much.
1388
01:31:40,703 --> 01:31:43,413
As l was saying, my name
is Fernando Phagabeefy.
1389
01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:46,078
lnternationally known
and respected film maker.
1390
01:31:46,167 --> 01:31:47,747
The visionary mastermind
1391
01:31:47,835 --> 01:31:49,875
behind notorious
cinematic works such as,
1392
01:31:49,962 --> 01:31:51,172
The Cunting Death,
1393
01:31:51,214 --> 01:31:52,924
Salo 2, The Next Day
1394
01:31:53,007 --> 01:31:55,837
and of course,
Rosemary's Picnic TabIe.
1395
01:31:55,885 --> 01:31:57,385
l here now to present to you
1396
01:31:57,470 --> 01:31:59,640
my latest and greatest
moving picture.
1397
01:31:59,722 --> 01:32:01,772
A film so scandalous,
so intense,
1398
01:32:01,849 --> 01:32:04,019
that it was banned
from every film festival
1399
01:32:04,101 --> 01:32:05,441
in fear of mass hysteria,
1400
01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:07,600
and destroyed seating.
1401
01:32:07,688 --> 01:32:09,898
The next 87 minutes
you're about to endure
1402
01:32:09,982 --> 01:32:12,032
a motion picture
l've directed called,
1403
01:32:12,109 --> 01:32:13,529
Deathication,
1404
01:32:13,611 --> 01:32:15,451
comes with a very
serious warning.
1405
01:32:15,530 --> 01:32:17,410
This film
was specifically produced
1406
01:32:17,490 --> 01:32:20,030
to elicit the effect
of pure terror on the audience
1407
01:32:20,076 --> 01:32:22,036
to a complete
and total sensory immersion
1408
01:32:22,119 --> 01:32:23,699
to the images on screen
1409
01:32:23,788 --> 01:32:26,408
using the latest
in cinematic technology.
1410
01:32:26,499 --> 01:32:28,789
The lights of which
we can have revealed here
1411
01:32:28,876 --> 01:32:30,836
in fear
of government confiscation.
1412
01:32:30,920 --> 01:32:33,960
The following visuals
printed on this very
film stock
1413
01:32:34,048 --> 01:32:37,258
are proven to cause a highly
visceral, biological response
1414
01:32:37,343 --> 01:32:39,393
in the human nervous system
in the most,
1415
01:32:39,470 --> 01:32:41,220
hm, nefarious of ways.
1416
01:32:44,308 --> 01:32:45,978
Oh, hello, doctor.
1417
01:32:46,060 --> 01:32:48,600
As you can
see from our
scientific results,
1418
01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:50,398
this photo realistic
rendering
1419
01:32:50,439 --> 01:32:52,069
of one,
the human body,
1420
01:32:52,149 --> 01:32:54,149
each and every frame
of Deathication
1421
01:32:54,235 --> 01:32:56,485
swiftly attacks
the viewer's
brainwaves,
1422
01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:59,071
rendering specific
motor functions helpless
1423
01:32:59,115 --> 01:33:02,235
to the depravity that unfolds
before your very eyes.
1424
01:33:02,285 --> 01:33:04,575
At any moment during
the course of this film,
1425
01:33:04,662 --> 01:33:07,082
viewers have been know
to suddenly and violently
1426
01:33:07,123 --> 01:33:08,793
release their bowels!
1427
01:33:08,874 --> 01:33:12,174
A collective explosion
of hot, moist madness.
1428
01:33:12,253 --> 01:33:15,013
ln other words,
what you're about to see
1429
01:33:15,089 --> 01:33:16,839
will make you shit.
A lot!
1430
01:33:16,924 --> 01:33:18,804
Buckets of excrement!
1431
01:33:18,884 --> 01:33:20,844
A river of ca ca wiII
rage through this theater's
1432
01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:22,468
as one buttery floor.
1433
01:33:22,555 --> 01:33:24,635
You'll crap your slacks
for days to come,
1434
01:33:24,724 --> 01:33:27,524
ruin many undergarments
become severely dehydrated,
1435
01:33:27,602 --> 01:33:30,942
brave scorn at any social
event or family gathering,
1436
01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:33,692
even suffer from a case
of inflamed anal tissue
1437
01:33:33,774 --> 01:33:36,364
similar,
to the effects of sodomy.
1438
01:33:36,444 --> 01:33:39,034
ln other other words,
this film
1439
01:33:39,113 --> 01:33:41,113
will rape you
with your own feces.
1440
01:33:41,198 --> 01:33:42,618
And that, my friends,
1441
01:33:42,658 --> 01:33:46,198
is a Fernando
Phagabeefy promise.
1442
01:33:46,287 --> 01:33:48,657
With this warning in mind,
by staying in this theatre,
1443
01:33:48,748 --> 01:33:50,828
you're releasing
any rights and liability
1444
01:33:50,916 --> 01:33:54,036
against the film makers
or the owner of this
fine establishment
1445
01:33:54,128 --> 01:33:56,088
for any cleaning bills,
shattered senses,
1446
01:33:56,172 --> 01:33:58,672
or exploded ovaries.
So, for the safety of you,
1447
01:33:58,758 --> 01:34:00,758
those around you
and the integrity
1448
01:34:00,843 --> 01:34:02,553
of your swimming trunks area,
1449
01:34:02,637 --> 01:34:05,507
please consider this
your final warning.
1450
01:34:05,598 --> 01:34:07,718
Those in the audience
who have a weak constitution
1451
01:34:07,808 --> 01:34:09,308
or a giant asshole,
1452
01:34:09,393 --> 01:34:11,393
should leave
this theatre immediately!
1453
01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:13,399
Unless you are truly prepared
1454
01:34:13,481 --> 01:34:17,321
to experience
the horrific effects
of, Deathication.
1455
01:34:17,401 --> 01:34:20,491
Because you can't scream
if you're full of shit.
[fart sound]
1456
01:34:24,158 --> 01:34:26,158
[disco music]
1457
01:34:26,243 --> 01:34:27,953
[fart]
1458
01:34:28,037 --> 01:34:29,037
[farting]
1459
01:34:29,121 --> 01:34:30,661
[grunting]
1460
01:34:33,834 --> 01:34:37,844
[farting]
1461
01:34:40,007 --> 01:34:41,007
[groaning]
1462
01:34:42,343 --> 01:34:44,183
[farting]
1463
01:34:46,347 --> 01:34:47,677
[grunting]
1464
01:34:51,435 --> 01:34:52,685
[fart]
1465
01:34:55,439 --> 01:34:57,019
[disco music continues]
1466
01:35:10,037 --> 01:35:10,827
[grunting]
1467
01:35:20,005 --> 01:35:21,625
What the hell--
1468
01:35:21,716 --> 01:35:22,966
[grunting over radio,
audio probIems]
1469
01:35:23,050 --> 01:35:24,550
What is that?
1470
01:35:24,593 --> 01:35:26,433
l don't know.
That's a first.
1471
01:35:26,512 --> 01:35:28,302
[disco music continues]
1472
01:35:28,389 --> 01:35:30,469
Do you think
Mr. K's all right?
1473
01:35:30,558 --> 01:35:32,388
(Tobe)
l don't know. l'm kind
of worried about him.
1474
01:35:32,476 --> 01:35:34,476
He seemed a bit a mess
about the whoIe thing,
1475
01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:35,482
and there was a gun.
1476
01:35:35,563 --> 01:35:37,613
What? A gun?
1477
01:35:37,690 --> 01:35:40,440
Look, l'll explain in a sec.
Come on, let's go
check him out.
1478
01:35:40,526 --> 01:35:41,566
[shouting]
1479
01:35:41,652 --> 01:35:42,612
[farting]
1480
01:35:42,695 --> 01:35:43,735
[shouting]
1481
01:35:47,450 --> 01:35:48,410
Cecil!
1482
01:35:48,492 --> 01:35:49,742
Oh, my God.
1483
01:35:49,827 --> 01:35:51,577
You kids,
get out of here!
1484
01:35:51,662 --> 01:35:53,252
What the hell, man?
1485
01:35:53,330 --> 01:35:54,660
Gun.
1486
01:35:54,749 --> 01:35:56,169
[growling]
1487
01:35:56,250 --> 01:35:57,330
[loud thump]
1488
01:35:57,418 --> 01:35:59,378
Dick, you're fired!
1489
01:35:59,462 --> 01:36:01,002
[gunshot]
1490
01:36:01,088 --> 01:36:03,758
[groaning]
Boss!
1491
01:36:03,841 --> 01:36:05,341
[loud thump]
1492
01:36:07,261 --> 01:36:09,761
What? You never saw Robocop?
1493
01:36:09,847 --> 01:36:11,557
What the cripes
was that, Mr. K?
1494
01:36:11,640 --> 01:36:14,060
l don't know.
He just attacked
me from behind.
1495
01:36:14,143 --> 01:36:16,813
Next thing l know,
he's trying to pull
my pants down.
1496
01:36:16,896 --> 01:36:19,806
l think
he was trying
to hide the baloney.
1497
01:36:19,899 --> 01:36:23,109
(Mayna)
What's that blue
stuff on him?
1498
01:36:23,194 --> 01:36:26,784
Wait, wait, wait. l saw
that on somebody's
shirt downstairs.
1499
01:36:26,822 --> 01:36:29,032
Wait! Did he bite you?
He's totally a zzombie.
1500
01:36:29,116 --> 01:36:30,946
No. He came close
but no cigar.
l'm fine.
1501
01:36:31,035 --> 01:36:32,945
And you?
1502
01:36:33,037 --> 01:36:35,867
Actually, l'm
kind of awesome,
all things considering.
1503
01:36:35,956 --> 01:36:38,706
(Mr. K.)
Well, let's check
the [indistinct]
1504
01:36:38,793 --> 01:36:39,833
Look out!
1505
01:36:39,919 --> 01:36:40,839
Tobe!
1506
01:36:40,920 --> 01:36:42,130
[loud thump]
1507
01:36:42,213 --> 01:36:43,963
[on screen audio problems]
1508
01:36:44,006 --> 01:36:45,216
Get him off me!
1509
01:36:45,299 --> 01:36:47,129
[growling]
1510
01:36:47,218 --> 01:36:48,128
[suspenseful music]
1511
01:36:48,219 --> 01:36:49,509
Tobe!
1512
01:36:49,595 --> 01:36:51,465
Shit! He's trying
to kiss me!
1513
01:36:59,563 --> 01:37:01,153
Fuck you, Floyd.
1514
01:37:04,401 --> 01:37:06,071
[gunshot]
1515
01:37:06,153 --> 01:37:08,913
Wow. Wow. Wow.
1516
01:37:10,783 --> 01:37:12,663
[gunshot]
1517
01:37:12,743 --> 01:37:13,873
[groaning]
1518
01:37:13,953 --> 01:37:15,083
Wolfman has nards!
1519
01:37:15,162 --> 01:37:17,042
Nice shooting, Tex.
1520
01:37:17,122 --> 01:37:19,212
How'd you know that
was the sweet spot?
1521
01:37:19,291 --> 01:37:20,831
(Mayna)
Come on, l'm a girl.
1522
01:37:20,876 --> 01:37:22,496
l know where guy's
heads are.
1523
01:37:22,545 --> 01:37:24,335
(Tobe)
Thanks.
1524
01:37:24,421 --> 01:37:26,301
That's two
you owe me, Junior.
1525
01:37:29,510 --> 01:37:30,890
God, l love you.
1526
01:37:30,970 --> 01:37:32,550
l know.
1527
01:37:32,638 --> 01:37:35,008
Will you two
clam it 'till
the credits?
1528
01:37:35,057 --> 01:37:36,177
What l wanna know
1529
01:37:36,267 --> 01:37:37,727
is what the sweet scent
1530
01:37:37,810 --> 01:37:40,350
of Satan's scrotus
is going on here.
1531
01:37:40,437 --> 01:37:42,557
[cheerful music
and screaming]
1532
01:37:58,539 --> 01:38:00,289
[wet meat and creaming]
1533
01:38:05,713 --> 01:38:13,853
[shouting]
1534
01:38:23,230 --> 01:38:24,730
What?
1535
01:38:29,403 --> 01:38:32,363
[suspenseful music]
1536
01:38:32,448 --> 01:38:33,778
[growling]
1537
01:38:45,210 --> 01:38:46,630
l'll just lie here.
1538
01:38:46,712 --> 01:38:48,502
lt all should
blow over.
1539
01:38:48,589 --> 01:38:50,919
Ah, fuck that!
l could leave!
1540
01:38:51,008 --> 01:38:52,588
l got the car,
l got the keys!
1541
01:38:52,635 --> 01:38:55,045
Ah, what about the guys?
1542
01:38:55,137 --> 01:38:57,007
Wait.
1543
01:38:57,097 --> 01:39:00,217
Ah, Des! Shit!
1544
01:39:00,309 --> 01:39:02,559
[softly growling]
1545
01:39:05,773 --> 01:39:07,943
[cheerful music
over radio continues]
1546
01:39:07,983 --> 01:39:11,533
[grunting]
1547
01:39:22,581 --> 01:39:24,621
[baby crying]
1548
01:39:37,554 --> 01:39:39,104
[wet meat sound]
1549
01:39:43,018 --> 01:39:44,058
[music stops]
1550
01:39:44,144 --> 01:39:47,024
[baby gibberish]
1551
01:39:54,530 --> 01:39:56,410
Yes! Okay.
1552
01:39:56,490 --> 01:39:58,160
Come on, Ryan.
1553
01:39:58,200 --> 01:40:01,040
This is my movie.
l'm the final girl.
1554
01:40:01,120 --> 01:40:02,700
Come on!
1555
01:40:02,788 --> 01:40:04,708
[background screaming
and growIing]
1556
01:40:04,790 --> 01:40:06,500
Okay.
1557
01:40:06,583 --> 01:40:08,583
One.
1558
01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:11,459
Two.
[background screaming]
1559
01:40:11,547 --> 01:40:12,707
[suspenseful music]
1560
01:40:12,798 --> 01:40:14,088
Two and a half.
1561
01:40:14,174 --> 01:40:15,054
Three!
1562
01:40:15,134 --> 01:40:16,684
[grunting]
1563
01:40:16,760 --> 01:40:18,720
[suspenseful music,
intensifying]
1564
01:40:20,305 --> 01:40:26,885
[shouting]
1565
01:40:26,979 --> 01:40:28,559
Jesus, Miller.
1566
01:40:33,861 --> 01:40:35,701
Penis brat!
1567
01:40:35,738 --> 01:40:37,568
You gotta be
fucking kidding!
1568
01:40:58,594 --> 01:41:00,764
[screaming]
1569
01:41:17,738 --> 01:41:19,448
Swearsies.
1570
01:41:19,531 --> 01:41:21,161
Now what?
1571
01:41:21,241 --> 01:41:24,331
We get back in the car
and get the fuck out.
1572
01:41:24,411 --> 01:41:27,161
[growling]
1573
01:41:27,247 --> 01:41:31,417
Plan A sucks.
Got any other ideas?
1574
01:41:31,502 --> 01:41:33,252
Follow me.
1575
01:41:33,337 --> 01:41:34,957
[suspenseful music continues]
1576
01:41:43,889 --> 01:41:46,929
Fuck you, fucking zzombies!
1577
01:41:46,975 --> 01:41:48,675
[shouting]
Okay.
1578
01:41:48,769 --> 01:41:50,689
l gotta think.
l gotta save the day.
1579
01:41:50,771 --> 01:41:52,361
What would, uh,
Simon Pegg do?
1580
01:41:52,439 --> 01:41:54,769
That's too
British.
1581
01:41:54,858 --> 01:41:56,688
Des, Des, we're gonna
get out of this.
1582
01:41:56,777 --> 01:41:59,027
We're gonna be oh--
1583
01:41:59,113 --> 01:42:00,823
[suspenseful music
and wet meat]
1584
01:42:00,906 --> 01:42:02,156
Des?
1585
01:42:02,241 --> 01:42:05,791
[gasping]
l want you, Ryan.
1586
01:42:05,869 --> 01:42:07,949
That is so awesome, but,
1587
01:42:08,038 --> 01:42:11,328
this is kind of a no time
for love Dr. Jones situation
here, so.
1588
01:42:11,416 --> 01:42:13,576
We'll be fine.
1589
01:42:13,669 --> 01:42:16,499
[moaning]
Come to me, Ryan.
1590
01:42:16,588 --> 01:42:18,458
But, but you're--
1591
01:42:18,507 --> 01:42:20,217
ln love?
1592
01:42:20,300 --> 01:42:21,880
No--
1593
01:42:21,969 --> 01:42:23,469
[moaning]
1594
01:42:23,512 --> 01:42:25,642
Be inside me forever, Ryan.
1595
01:42:25,681 --> 01:42:27,141
l , uh--
1596
01:42:33,188 --> 01:42:34,438
Fuck it!
1597
01:42:37,818 --> 01:42:39,398
[wet meat sound]
1598
01:42:39,486 --> 01:42:41,146
[groaning]
1599
01:42:45,659 --> 01:42:47,949
[spooky music]
1600
01:42:51,999 --> 01:42:53,959
Phone's dead.
1601
01:42:54,042 --> 01:42:56,422
(Mr. K.)
Phones out here too,
smart bastards.
1602
01:42:56,503 --> 01:42:58,173
What the hell
is going on?
1603
01:42:58,213 --> 01:43:01,053
When there's no
more room left in hell,
1604
01:43:01,133 --> 01:43:02,843
"The dead
shall fuck the earth."
1605
01:43:02,885 --> 01:43:05,545
Or something like that,
it's like,
1606
01:43:05,637 --> 01:43:06,847
with the final reel.
1607
01:43:06,889 --> 01:43:08,099
Final reel.
1608
01:43:08,182 --> 01:43:09,522
What?
1609
01:43:09,600 --> 01:43:11,560
No. l cannot die
here tonight.
1610
01:43:13,520 --> 01:43:15,520
You're not
gonna die tonight.
1611
01:43:15,606 --> 01:43:16,726
Here.
1612
01:43:16,815 --> 01:43:18,475
Here you go, kid.
1613
01:43:18,567 --> 01:43:19,937
Six rounds wiII
give you some courage.
1614
01:43:20,027 --> 01:43:21,277
(Mayna)
What about you?
1615
01:43:21,361 --> 01:43:22,821
Don't worry about me.
1616
01:43:22,905 --> 01:43:24,695
Now you came
by car tonight, right?
1617
01:43:24,781 --> 01:43:26,911
Yeah, hopefully
Ryan stayed in the car.
1618
01:43:26,992 --> 01:43:29,122
He's got the keys.
1619
01:43:29,203 --> 01:43:31,043
Get back to your car,
1620
01:43:31,121 --> 01:43:33,871
lock yourselves in
and drive fast.
1621
01:43:33,957 --> 01:43:36,207
What do we tell him?
That this in an undead orgy?
1622
01:43:36,293 --> 01:43:37,793
Tell them whatever!
1623
01:43:37,878 --> 01:43:39,798
Tell them to bring
the cops, the army,
1624
01:43:39,880 --> 01:43:42,090
the goddamn hazzmat suits.
Bring them all!
1625
01:43:42,174 --> 01:43:44,054
Now, you have
1 2 rounds between you.
1626
01:43:44,134 --> 01:43:46,304
Got it.
1627
01:43:46,386 --> 01:43:47,966
(Mayna)
Aren't you coming?
1628
01:43:48,055 --> 01:43:51,465
Yeah. Yeah. l'll--
l'll catch up with ya.
1629
01:43:54,895 --> 01:43:56,845
Scoot you two.
Good luck.
1630
01:43:56,939 --> 01:43:59,229
And may the schwartzz
be with ya.
1631
01:43:59,316 --> 01:44:00,646
You too, Mr. K.
1632
01:44:08,158 --> 01:44:11,788
What was it
you said, Orson?
1633
01:44:11,870 --> 01:44:16,370
Nobody who takes on
anything big and tough
1634
01:44:16,458 --> 01:44:18,748
can afford to be modest.
1635
01:44:18,835 --> 01:44:20,795
[background shouting
and growIing]
1636
01:44:20,879 --> 01:44:23,459
[triumphant music]
1637
01:44:27,928 --> 01:44:30,048
Fuck modesty.
1638
01:44:46,280 --> 01:44:47,200
[suspenseful chord]
1639
01:44:47,281 --> 01:44:48,451
Fuck!
1640
01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:50,072
[soft growling]
1641
01:44:56,123 --> 01:44:57,833
Hey, there, big boy.
1642
01:44:57,916 --> 01:44:59,286
You Iike that?
1643
01:45:01,503 --> 01:45:02,963
ls this
what you want?
1644
01:45:03,046 --> 01:45:04,376
(Tobe)
Mayna, what the fuck?
1645
01:45:04,464 --> 01:45:07,434
[distorted voice]
Happy ending.
1646
01:45:07,509 --> 01:45:10,049
[panting]
1647
01:45:10,137 --> 01:45:11,797
[gunshot]
1648
01:45:11,888 --> 01:45:13,968
[keys clinking]
1649
01:45:14,057 --> 01:45:15,517
Feel important.
1650
01:45:15,600 --> 01:45:17,520
Wait! Smoke screen.
1651
01:45:20,105 --> 01:45:21,725
[groaning]
1652
01:45:21,815 --> 01:45:23,975
(Mayna)
Fuck me gently
with the chain saw.
1653
01:45:25,402 --> 01:45:26,992
[gunshot]
1654
01:45:27,070 --> 01:45:28,150
[grunting]
1655
01:45:28,238 --> 01:45:29,408
Let's go!
1656
01:45:29,489 --> 01:45:30,489
Okay. Okay.
1657
01:45:30,532 --> 01:45:31,992
Oh, my God!
1658
01:45:37,914 --> 01:45:38,914
Where's the car?
1659
01:45:38,999 --> 01:45:40,249
Right there.
1660
01:45:40,334 --> 01:45:41,674
(Tobe)
Yeah. Right there.
1661
01:45:41,710 --> 01:45:42,840
[gunshots]
1662
01:45:42,919 --> 01:45:44,589
(Mayna)
Oh, shit.
1663
01:45:44,671 --> 01:45:46,421
[growling]
1664
01:45:46,506 --> 01:45:47,756
Fuck.
[gunshot]
1665
01:45:47,841 --> 01:45:49,681
(Tobe)
Watch out.
1666
01:45:49,760 --> 01:45:51,300
[Mayna]
Your mother sucks
cocks in hell.
[gunshot]
1667
01:45:53,513 --> 01:45:55,263
[shouting]
Tobe! Oh, my gosh!
1668
01:45:55,349 --> 01:45:58,679
[gunshot]
1669
01:45:58,727 --> 01:46:00,767
[panting]
Oh, fuck.
1670
01:46:00,854 --> 01:46:02,154
(Mayna)
Are you out?
1671
01:46:02,230 --> 01:46:03,730
(Tobe)
I've got one.
1672
01:46:03,815 --> 01:46:05,515
[suspenseful music
and waIIa]
1673
01:46:05,609 --> 01:46:06,729
l've got two.
1674
01:46:06,818 --> 01:46:08,608
Wait. No.
1675
01:46:08,695 --> 01:46:10,275
l've only
got one. Fuck.
1676
01:46:10,364 --> 01:46:12,284
Well, the best we could
do is use it on us.
1677
01:46:12,366 --> 01:46:14,406
Before we become zzombies.
1678
01:46:14,493 --> 01:46:17,543
l don't feel
like losing my virginity
with a goddamn zzombie.
1679
01:46:17,621 --> 01:46:19,461
Wait. You're a virgin?
1680
01:46:19,539 --> 01:46:21,789
Can we talk about this
later? Watch it.
1681
01:46:21,875 --> 01:46:24,035
[gunshot]
1682
01:46:24,086 --> 01:46:26,546
l waited for you.
1683
01:46:26,588 --> 01:46:29,548
[soft music]
1684
01:46:33,595 --> 01:46:36,385
Now put
the gun on my head
and pull the trigger.
1685
01:46:36,431 --> 01:46:38,681
The bullet should
take us both out.
1686
01:46:38,767 --> 01:46:40,767
What? ls that the best
idea you've got?
1687
01:46:40,852 --> 01:46:43,272
lt's the only thing
l can remember
from the movies
1688
01:46:43,355 --> 01:46:44,555
that makes any sense--
1689
01:46:44,606 --> 01:46:46,106
[gunshot]
1690
01:46:46,191 --> 01:46:47,901
[suspenseful music]
1691
01:46:47,943 --> 01:46:49,823
Get your undead dicks
1692
01:46:49,903 --> 01:46:52,493
out of my drive-in!
1693
01:46:52,572 --> 01:46:54,912
[gunshot and shouting]
1694
01:46:54,991 --> 01:46:57,331
Old turkey!
1695
01:46:57,411 --> 01:47:00,501
(Mr. K.)
This way, jerk offs!
Follow me!
1696
01:47:02,916 --> 01:47:05,916
(Mr. K.)
Amscra you two.
Get to the chopper. Go.
1697
01:47:11,842 --> 01:47:13,262
(Mayna)
Where are the keys?
1698
01:47:13,343 --> 01:47:14,763
l don't know.
You have them.
1699
01:47:14,803 --> 01:47:16,143
What? No, l gave them to you.
1700
01:47:16,221 --> 01:47:17,261
l gave them to you!
1701
01:47:17,347 --> 01:47:18,717
Check your pockets.
1702
01:47:18,807 --> 01:47:20,177
l got 'em!
1703
01:47:20,267 --> 01:47:21,767
Behind you!
[gunshot]
1704
01:47:24,479 --> 01:47:25,939
ln. ln. ln. Get in!
1705
01:47:26,022 --> 01:47:28,072
Open the door!
Unlock it.
1706
01:47:28,150 --> 01:47:29,690
Get in.
1707
01:47:29,776 --> 01:47:30,936
[closing door]
1708
01:47:33,447 --> 01:47:35,777
"Hasta Ia vista, baby ."
1709
01:47:35,866 --> 01:47:38,986
"Frankly, my dear,
l don't give a damn".
1710
01:47:39,077 --> 01:47:42,707
"Nobody puts Baby
in a corner."
[gunshot]
1711
01:47:42,789 --> 01:47:46,379
"Yippie ki yay motherfucker."
[gunshot]
1712
01:47:46,460 --> 01:47:49,800
"What we have here
is a failure to communicate".
[gunshot]
1713
01:47:49,880 --> 01:47:52,130
[gunshots and shouting]
1714
01:47:52,215 --> 01:47:53,915
"Goonies never say die!"
1715
01:47:54,009 --> 01:47:55,799
[triumphant music continues]
1716
01:47:55,886 --> 01:47:59,176
"l'm getting too old
for this shit".
1717
01:47:59,264 --> 01:48:01,184
(Mr. K.)
This way, perverts!
1718
01:48:01,266 --> 01:48:04,306
Follow the Pied Piper
and his sweet asshole!
1719
01:48:04,394 --> 01:48:05,814
[growIing]
1720
01:48:05,854 --> 01:48:07,654
Cinema is dead.
1721
01:48:07,689 --> 01:48:09,439
[thump]
1722
01:48:09,524 --> 01:48:10,654
[wet meat sound]
1723
01:48:10,692 --> 01:48:12,822
Oh!
1724
01:48:12,903 --> 01:48:15,243
"Say hello
to my little friend!"
1725
01:48:15,322 --> 01:48:16,362
[gunshot]
1726
01:48:21,119 --> 01:48:24,909
[indistinct]
a better contender!
1727
01:48:24,998 --> 01:48:28,578
"Rosebud, motherfucker"!
1728
01:48:30,045 --> 01:48:31,705
Oh, God.
1729
01:48:31,796 --> 01:48:33,336
l think that was
uncle Cecil's
curtain call.
1730
01:48:33,423 --> 01:48:35,263
Well, that's a way
to find out. Huh?
1731
01:48:35,342 --> 01:48:36,512
Keys to ignition. Go!
1732
01:48:36,551 --> 01:48:38,471
(Tobe)
Okay.
1733
01:48:38,553 --> 01:48:40,603
[engine cranks
but can't start]
No, no, no.
1734
01:48:40,680 --> 01:48:43,020
Come on. This isn't
supposed to happen.
1735
01:48:43,058 --> 01:48:45,348
We're supposed
to survive. Fuck.
1736
01:48:45,435 --> 01:48:48,805
This is it.
1737
01:48:48,897 --> 01:48:50,857
Wait! You still have the--
1738
01:48:52,359 --> 01:48:54,069
Fresh out.
[cocks gun]
1739
01:48:54,152 --> 01:48:55,742
Damn it!
1740
01:48:55,820 --> 01:48:58,360
What do we do now?
1741
01:48:58,448 --> 01:49:01,368
(Mayna)
Well, we can
just sit here
1742
01:49:01,409 --> 01:49:04,249
and wait
for them to turn us
into human sex toys.
1743
01:49:04,329 --> 01:49:07,579
Okay. Already not
digging doing
number one.
1744
01:49:07,666 --> 01:49:11,586
Or,
1745
01:49:19,135 --> 01:49:24,765
We spend
the last night
of our lives together
1746
01:49:24,849 --> 01:49:28,729
and give these fuckers
one hell of a show.
1747
01:49:28,770 --> 01:49:33,230
l have to admit
that's one hell
of a plan.
1748
01:49:33,316 --> 01:49:36,276
Let's do it. Wait.
1749
01:49:36,361 --> 01:49:39,201
[soft music]
1750
01:49:40,907 --> 01:49:43,277
Funny. Did you
ever think
1751
01:49:43,368 --> 01:49:46,328
this would be the moment
you became a man?
1752
01:49:46,413 --> 01:49:49,583
Actually, it was during
an alien invasion
1753
01:49:49,666 --> 01:49:52,166
but it really
doesn't matter
what the scenario.
1754
01:49:52,252 --> 01:49:54,592
Why's that?
1755
01:49:54,629 --> 01:49:57,589
Because l always knew
it would be with you.
1756
01:50:00,176 --> 01:50:03,596
You are so cool.
1757
01:50:03,638 --> 01:50:05,928
True romance.
1758
01:50:15,942 --> 01:50:16,982
Wait. Wait.
1759
01:50:17,068 --> 01:50:18,148
What? What?
1760
01:50:18,236 --> 01:50:20,946
Do you have a condom?
1761
01:50:20,989 --> 01:50:22,199
Really?
1762
01:50:22,282 --> 01:50:24,412
[chuckling]
l'm kidding.
1763
01:50:30,290 --> 01:50:32,460
[zzombies thumping
and groaning]
1764
01:50:37,422 --> 01:50:39,882
[suspenseful music
and gIass shattering]
1765
01:50:48,808 --> 01:50:50,888
[cheering]
1766
01:50:59,527 --> 01:51:01,817
Fantastic! Now
that's an ending.
1767
01:51:01,905 --> 01:51:03,065
Fuck Hollywood!
1768
01:51:03,156 --> 01:51:04,736
Really? Boring.
1769
01:51:04,824 --> 01:51:05,874
Boring?
1770
01:51:05,950 --> 01:51:07,410
Not enough tits.
1771
01:51:07,494 --> 01:51:09,754
Actually, it was
kinda bittersweet.
1772
01:51:09,829 --> 01:51:12,159
You know?
Like the ending of E.T.
1773
01:51:12,248 --> 01:51:14,378
Why does everything
gotta be E.T. with you?
1774
01:51:14,459 --> 01:51:15,579
Come on. Let's go.
1775
01:51:15,669 --> 01:51:17,249
E.T.'s gay.
1776
01:51:18,630 --> 01:51:20,510
How-- He's a plant.
1777
01:51:20,590 --> 01:51:23,010
He can't be gay.
He's a pla--
He's a plant.
1778
01:51:23,093 --> 01:51:25,053
Would you be gay
if you were a plant?
1779
01:51:25,136 --> 01:51:27,426
[IiveIy music]
1780
01:51:43,029 --> 01:51:44,149
[screaming]
1781
01:51:59,671 --> 01:52:01,881
[hard rock music]
1782
01:52:12,559 --> 01:52:14,729
lt is
a biological anomaly
1783
01:52:14,811 --> 01:52:18,151
the likes of which
the medical community
has never seen.
1784
01:52:18,231 --> 01:52:20,441
Miles' unique
body chemistry
1785
01:52:20,525 --> 01:52:22,895
clashed with the Plutoneide
and the Spermupermine
1786
01:52:22,944 --> 01:52:25,704
mutating his spermatozzoa
during spermatogenesis
1787
01:52:25,780 --> 01:52:28,070
in a way that no one
could've expected.
1788
01:52:28,158 --> 01:52:29,948
Spermatium are
by their very nature
1789
01:52:30,034 --> 01:52:32,414
a very determined
and resilient organism
1790
01:52:32,454 --> 01:52:35,084
genetically programmed
to overcome all obstacles
1791
01:52:35,165 --> 01:52:37,245
defy all odds
and hit the target.
1792
01:52:37,333 --> 01:52:39,673
or die trying.
1793
01:52:39,753 --> 01:52:41,003
Perhaps--
1794
01:52:41,087 --> 01:52:43,087
You can view
this disaster
1795
01:52:43,131 --> 01:52:45,801
as a kind
of cautionary tale
1796
01:52:45,884 --> 01:52:48,594
against the misuse
of a yet to be
fully understood
1797
01:52:48,636 --> 01:52:50,926
era in atomic energy.
1798
01:52:51,014 --> 01:52:53,434
God help us all.
1799
01:53:01,691 --> 01:53:04,441
[soft cheerful song]
1800
01:54:41,791 --> 01:54:44,331
[soft music]
1801
01:56:33,069 --> 01:56:37,029
[pop song]
1802
01:59:45,553 --> 01:59:46,683
Ba-bye.
113320
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