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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,584 [spooky music] 2 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,804 [music intensifies] 3 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,303 [thunder] 4 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:03,769 [far away howling] 5 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,278 [suspenseful music, thunder continues] 6 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,068 [playful music] 7 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,830 [shattering glass] 8 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,575 [howling] 9 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,795 [suspenseful chord] 10 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:31,718 [creaking] 11 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:34,973 [eerie music] 12 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,845 Here's to you, baby. 13 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,269 Ten years of misery. 14 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,606 Sláinte 15 00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,403 [spooky music] 16 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,657 You never did like taking it on the face. 17 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,781 Well how's that now, huh? 18 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,788 Come to think of it, 19 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,659 l think it's high time 20 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,497 l cashed in on all those years 21 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:09,043 you never tended to my needs. 22 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:13,509 Whine, whine, whine. Me, me, me. 23 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,631 Well what about me? [suspenseful chord] 24 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,297 Huh? 25 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,717 I'm thinking it's time 26 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:23,476 for a little bit of dead head. 27 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,638 [wind howIing] 28 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,726 You won't mind. Much. 29 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,153 [zzipper and suspenseful chord] 30 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,401 Shit. 31 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,652 [crunch and wet meat] 32 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,693 Jesus and mother of God! 33 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,358 Fuck. 34 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:38,656 [muffled growling and chuckling] 35 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,241 Let go of my meat! 36 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,446 [howling] 37 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,156 Let go of my meat! 38 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,996 [howling] 39 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,088 [panting] 40 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,750 [thunder] 41 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,008 [eerie music] 42 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,929 [thunder] 43 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,724 [intense suspenseful music] 44 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,647 No. No. No. No. No. No. 45 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,276 No! You bitch! 46 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,243 You bit off my bean bag! 47 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,025 [suspenseful chord and sound of wet meat] 48 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,366 [cell phone ringing] 49 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,834 Fucker! 50 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,414 [shouting] Yeah? 51 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:28,958 [funny mumbling over phone] 52 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,582 Balls! He is? 53 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,248 [funny mumbling] 54 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,457 Yeah, l'll be there, l'll be there, yeah. 55 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,717 Jesus wept! Yeah, fine! 56 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,890 [wind softly howling] 57 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,100 [animaI howIing] 58 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,392 [thunder] 59 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,597 l'm late for work. 60 00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:55,437 [cheerful rock music] 61 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,952 [horn honking] 62 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,582 [sighing] 63 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,288 [rock music continues] 64 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,100 [tuning radio] [woman's voice] WiII you stop touching that. 65 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,807 (man) Honey, what is-- What was the station again? 66 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,228 l can never remember the number. 67 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,476 (woman) l don't know. 68 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,567 You're supposed to know 69 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,363 'cause l can never remember, so it's your job to remember. 70 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,487 Well, remind me why we're bringing our baby 71 00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,704 to an all-night splatter fest again. 72 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:50,205 Are you serious? l wish that l had parents as cool as [indistinct] 73 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,170 He's gonna be so prepared for life in modern America, 74 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,711 after this evening of films. 75 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,594 l know. 76 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,211 [snapping] Yeah. 77 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,548 [cheerful rock music over radio] 78 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,632 l love it when the old man 79 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,548 pumps golden moldies in the channel after the all-nighters. 80 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,636 You know, l'm totally puts me in the mood. 81 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,932 Yeah, look what happened the last time Otis Redding was on. 82 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,136 Uh-huh? Uh-huh. 83 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,725 Do you want a brother? 84 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,310 (baby) LittIe brother, daddy. 85 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:16,484 (Ryan) AII right, Tobe. Six degrees, Kevin Bacon, BeIa Lugosi. 86 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,726 Hit it! 87 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,647 (Tobe) Oh, no. 88 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,896 Oh man, this should be cake and ice cream for you. 89 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,698 (man 2) Oh, come on. Forget it, I-- I-- 90 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:26,661 l guess this encyclopedia is human after all. 91 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,203 So what movie is everyone freaking out about? 92 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,157 'Cause l'm going into the [indistinct] 93 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:34,165 Well, l haven't seen any of them. Apparently, Mr. K., 94 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,668 has the only prints of these things in existence. 95 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,384 lt's like ultra rare Holy Grail shit. Right, Tobes? 96 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,585 Yeah, this being the last hurrah and all is the best time as ever 97 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,346 to unleash the terror, the blood, the boobs! 98 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,929 More blood! More boobs! 99 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,224 Hurray for boobs. 100 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,348 What was it like working here, l mean, 101 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,345 Hog heaven, right? 102 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,935 No, nerdgasm. l saw the movie Hungry Hungry Hippos 103 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,733 1 3 times! 104 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,606 l see no nutritional value in that whatsoever. 105 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,364 Hey, you asked! And besides, 106 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,946 it gave you an excuse to almost talk 107 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,451 to a certain concession employee. 108 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,032 Wait. Almost? 109 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,116 So you haven't even like-- 110 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,753 No. Okay? We haven't even. 111 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,909 We're taking it slow. 112 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,878 Mm-hm. And by "slow" he means turn the other way and walk fast. 113 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,789 So you haven't even talked to her? 114 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,628 lt's like this. 115 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,973 A girl like Desi is never gonna go out with me 116 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,880 so l figure, why not hold on to the hope 117 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,428 instead of suffer the disappointment? 118 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,802 You should at least talk to her 119 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,428 before you go back to school. 120 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,465 At least then you could make a piece. 121 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,138 Yeah, look who's talking potsy! 122 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,977 Well, what the fuck does that mean? 123 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,312 Oh, nothing. 124 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,107 Yeah, nothing, just-- 125 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,110 Look, Kevin Bacon and Elvis Presley. 126 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,822 (Tobe) Let's do it. [chuckIing] 127 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,072 [woman chuckIing] 128 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,153 [swoosh] 129 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,488 Admit two. 130 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:47,992 There you go, kids. 131 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,494 Just pull up to the front row spot 132 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,576 and tune your tunes to 1 06. 1 and enjoy. 133 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,333 [chuckling] 134 00:06:55,415 --> 00:07:00,375 lt's gonna be a hell of a night! [chuckling] 135 00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,091 (man) Yeah, thanks. 136 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,010 [rolls up window] 137 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,430 "lt's gonna be a hell of a night!" Fuck you, get real. 138 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,590 l'm so glad to see this fucking dump decimated. 139 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,219 Jesus, man. Lighten up. 140 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,555 Oh, l'll lighten up tomorrow 141 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,520 when the bulldozzers gas up. 142 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,100 So remind me why we're here instead of Schneideman's. 143 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,646 Because l pulled the short straw 144 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,359 and got stuck with baby sitting duty. 145 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,480 9:00 AM this is another fine Blumps location. 146 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,277 [horn honking] 147 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,280 Until then, l gotta keep an eye on the old man 148 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:27,612 make sure he doesn't pull any shenanigans. 149 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,485 Well, Mr. Sourpuss. 150 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,954 Excuse me, that's Junior VP at Marketing Sourpuss. 151 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,163 Okay, Mr. VP Poopy Pants, 152 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,825 l promise to make tonight worth your while. 153 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,924 (man) Oh. 154 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,800 (announcer) Show starts in five minutes. 155 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,224 [rattling] 156 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,552 [cheerful music] 157 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,994 l don't know, Orson. 158 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:11,990 Looks like last licks for us oId bones. 159 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:16,083 l'm gonna miss all this. 160 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,332 This was my favorite part. 161 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:22,963 The preparation and anticipation. 162 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:27,174 The threading, spIicing the reeIs, 163 00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:29,756 and always racing the clock. 164 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,552 Betty and l , we never missed a single listing. 165 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,178 ln the gate and don't be late. 166 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,225 You taught me that. 167 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,442 My rosebud. 168 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,403 Well, who needs to be on time now 169 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,284 when you've got demanding video 170 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,282 and high definition crap? 171 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,954 You can get anytime at home. 172 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,254 Who needs the old night out under the stars 173 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,409 with some movie magic anymore? 174 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,458 That's what you were all about. Right? 175 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,553 Magic tricks and slight of hand. 176 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,800 Nobody cares for magic anymore. 177 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,053 Nope. [sighing] 178 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,394 The world gets smaller. 179 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,471 And soul mates fade away 180 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,057 Iike oId Kodak fiIm stock. 181 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,692 But nothing's gonna stop me 182 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,230 from sharing a bit of that magic tonight! 183 00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,944 Right? [chuckling] 184 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,735 But, much like anything else-- 185 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,911 [rattling] 186 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,448 [clears throat] 187 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,578 Now she's gone. 188 00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:46,423 Now this pIace is pretty much gone. 189 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,304 And like tomorrow, 190 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,722 I may be gone, too. 191 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:58,602 Fade to black. Right? [chuckling] 192 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,849 Or maybe a smash cut! [laughing] 193 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,774 [door bangs open] 194 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,151 Jumping Jesus! Jehoshaphat Floyd. 195 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,320 Heart hopping Christ, you're Iate, man. 196 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,319 Sorry, boss, l've been, uh, 197 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,031 l've been dealing with some-- [coughing] 198 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,702 Family matters. 199 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,870 Well, there's no need for excuses now, 200 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,279 l'm already done threading the first film. 201 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,868 Good God, man! 202 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,374 What have you been sticking your dick into? 203 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,867 You look like hell on a hand grenade. 204 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,078 l've been under the weather. 205 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,129 Look, why don't you just go check in with concessions, 206 00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,713 see if Desi needs some help? 207 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,468 Sounds good. Okay. 208 00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,048 And for Christ's sake, man, 209 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,385 clean yourself up! 210 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,234 [door shuts] 211 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,812 lt's show-time! 212 00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,477 [chuckling] 213 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,355 [thunder and screaming recording] 214 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:55,572 Well, hell, ell, ell, ello, kiddies! 215 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,065 [chuckling] 216 00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,576 lt's your old friend, Uncle Cecil, 217 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,370 welcoming you to the final, 218 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,584 ghoulish night of murder 219 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:10,206 and mayhem! [vicious Iaughter] 220 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:13,514 Yes, my ghouIs and gaIs, 221 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:18,469 it's time for Chillerama! [vicious laughter] 222 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,552 [horns honking] 223 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:27,059 Sit back, poke a hole in the bottom of your pop-corn bag, 224 00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:30,154 cuddle up to the closest corpse 225 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,191 and prepare yourself 226 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,815 for this evening's 227 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:41,203 first squishy selection. 228 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:47,791 Wadzilla! [vicious Iaughter] 229 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,293 [rooster] 230 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:54,456 [joyous cIassicaI music] 231 00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,799 [eerie chord] 232 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,054 [mangIed chords and wet meat] 233 00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,306 [shriII eerie music] 234 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,862 [swoosh] 235 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,740 Excuse me, Dr. Weems. 236 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,746 Miles Munson's lab work is ready. 237 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,710 Tell him l'll be right in. 238 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,420 [whispering] Okay. 239 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,094 (Miles) l never heard of a sperm bank 240 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,629 turning anyone down before. 241 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,214 You can imagine my nervousness 242 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,219 when they suggested l see a urologist. 243 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,051 lt isn't anything serious, is it? 244 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,426 Life-threatening, no. 245 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,762 As a matter of concern, yes. 246 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,934 Have a look in there, Miles. 247 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,435 (Miles) Wow! Look at them aII go. 248 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:59,493 (doctor) That is an exampIe or normaI sperm. 249 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:03,660 And that is your sperm. 250 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,621 [ominous music] 251 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,542 (Miles) Yikes. 252 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,211 [suspenseful chord] 253 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,369 That doesn't look good. 254 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:17,708 Miles, there's a new medication l'd like to suggest you try. 255 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,627 lt's called Spermupermine. 256 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:24,546 Now, it can't increase the sperm you generate 257 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,467 but what it can do, 258 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,184 is strengthen the sperm you already produce. 259 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,886 Spermupermine? 260 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:34,896 Yes. lt hasn't been approved by the FDA yet, 261 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,520 but it is available to test subjects. 262 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:40,608 Luckily for you, l'm on the research board. [chuckIing] 263 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,654 Thank you, doctor. 264 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,406 [shouting] 265 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,160 (man over TV) Good morning, kids! 266 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,493 lt's the Captain Fatso Show. 267 00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,748 And l'm Captain Fatso! 268 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,502 [shouting] 269 00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,844 Well, ahoy there, Captain Fatso, 270 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,551 say, are those gumdrops l smell? 271 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,592 (Fatso) Look kids, it's DudIey DingIeberry! 272 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,547 [kids shouting] 273 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,508 (Fatso) I'm starving! 274 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,887 l haven't even had breakfast yet! 275 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:16,016 (Fatso) Let me teII you about the new sponsor! 276 00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:19,523 [shouting] 277 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,028 [suspenseful music] 278 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,411 [TV show continues] 279 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,028 [music stops] 280 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,499 (Fatso over TV) Peanut Mush is now enhanced 281 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,710 with new fIavored chemicaIs. 282 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:39,290 Makes your breakfast even more scrump-diIIy-dumptious! 283 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,298 Sounds de-lish. 284 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,300 [shouting] 285 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,553 Morning, Miles. 286 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,756 Uh, morning, Larry. 287 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,018 Hey, you still single, buddy? 288 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,769 Unfortunately. 289 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,851 My wife's college roommate just got divorced 290 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,646 and moved to town. Perfect for you. 291 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,400 You should take her to dinner tomorrow night. 292 00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,151 Absolutely not. No way, no more blind dates. 293 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,113 Not after last time. 294 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,573 Come on, she's perfect. You should just do this, okay? 295 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,914 She's cute. She's not looking for anything serious. 296 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,068 Just a little companionship. You know? 297 00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,277 [train horn] 298 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,659 [playful music] 299 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,920 [jazzzzy music] 300 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,686 Oh. 301 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,935 Allow me. 302 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,493 [suspenseful chord] 303 00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,285 Oh. 304 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,504 [grunting] 305 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,630 Miles, are you okay? 306 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,463 Come here. 307 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,338 l just had a horrible shooting pain in my balls. 308 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,336 You think you sat on your balls when you sat down? 309 00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,048 l don't know. 310 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,558 Oh! You twisted the veins in your testicles. 311 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,021 Classic vein twist. 312 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,351 Okay. Okay. [panting] 313 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,846 l'm good. 314 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:21,938 l'm so-- 315 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:32,322 (man) Okay, onto the consolidation of our acquisitions 316 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,866 of GeneraI TextiIe Industries 317 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,241 and MBT Plastics. 318 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,787 For a brief overview, 319 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,540 we'd like to introduce to you all 320 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,502 the newest member of our department, 321 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,542 Andie Sumner. 322 00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,206 [jazzzzy music] 323 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,004 Hello, gentlemen. 324 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:49,166 [jazzzzy music] 325 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,716 Oh! [sighing] 326 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,676 l'm such a klutzz. 327 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,439 Oh. 328 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,982 [grunting] 329 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,357 Are you okay? 330 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,857 Someone, help him up. 331 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,738 No, l'm all right. l'm all right. 332 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,575 l'm all right. 333 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,200 Ugh. l just need a little bit of air. 334 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:22,706 l'm sorry. Excuse me for one second. [grunting] 335 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,210 l don't know if it has anything to do 336 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,883 with the pills that you gave me, 337 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,341 but every time l get the least bit aroused 338 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,052 l get the most intense shooting pain 339 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,051 [whispering] through my testicles. 340 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,295 Tsk. Well, there's only one way to find out. 341 00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,310 [scream and suspenseful chord] 342 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,437 What in God's name-- 343 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,654 [suspenseful music] 344 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,316 Miles? Are you all right? 345 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,065 l think so. 346 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,408 Give me the sample, Miles, 347 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,247 so we can get it under the microscope right away. 348 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,882 l don't think you're gonna need a microscope. 349 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,168 Oh! 350 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,547 [wet meat] 351 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,926 [panting] My God. 352 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,644 What's wrong with me? 353 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,854 It's impossibIe, but it wouId appear 354 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,895 that the Spermupermine has had an adverse effect on your system. 355 00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,939 It's not onIy strengthening your spermatozzoa 356 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,523 but it's causing it to grow 357 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,358 to gargantuan proportions. 358 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:36,114 And traditionaIIy, when a man experiences arousaI, 359 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,946 his testicles produce more sperm. 360 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,332 But in your case, however, 361 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,120 when you get turned on, 362 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,464 the one sperm you do have 363 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,708 gets huge. 364 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:47,922 [wet meat] 365 00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,461 [suspenseful music] 366 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:55,304 I'm gonna send this to the National Institute of HeaIth 367 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,892 in Washington for analysis. 368 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,887 Discontinue use of the medication immediately. 369 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,885 lf you feel your sperm enIarging again 370 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,228 you get it out of your system right away. 371 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,313 Get it out of my system? 372 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,646 Jerk off! Fast! 373 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,322 [sighing] 374 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,402 [cheerful Latino music] 375 00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:27,536 [knocking] 376 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,706 [soft music] 377 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,375 Hi. 378 00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,263 You must be Miles. 379 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,760 [suspenseful chord] 380 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,342 l'm Louise. 381 00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:42,556 [suspenseful music, intensifying] 382 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,179 [grunting] 383 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,851 [suspenseful chord] 384 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,437 No. 385 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,982 Oh, my God! What happened? Are you-- 386 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,855 Are you okay? 387 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,611 May l use your bathroom just for a minute, please? 388 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,105 Of course. 389 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,487 Come right in. 390 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,703 Right down the hall. 391 00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,243 l'll just be one second and l'll be back. 392 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,618 Oh. 393 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,374 [grunting] 394 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,044 [suspenseful music continues] 395 00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:20,047 [growIing] 396 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:24,055 Molly, just what kind of a nut did you and Larry set me up with? 397 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:27,597 Hon, Louise says that Miles showed up at her door, 398 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,814 grabbed his crotch and started screaming. Wha-- 399 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,726 He's-- He's in the bathroom now, 400 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,073 he's making weird-- l can hear him. 401 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,570 (Larry) Louise, Miles twisted a vein in one of his testicIes. 402 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,651 Yeah, it hurts him sometimes. 403 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,158 He feeIs bad about it. Don't make a fuss over it. 404 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,620 He's a good guy. 405 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,949 Okay. That is enough out of you. 406 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,615 l'm so sorry. No, it's gonna be okay. 407 00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,084 He's just a brute. 408 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,584 That guy is such an asshole. 409 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:51,996 [gasping] l can hear him. 410 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,424 The poor guy-- 411 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,921 Now l just feel sorry for him. 412 00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,554 [intense suspenseful music] 413 00:20:59,132 --> 00:21:00,512 [shouting] 414 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,585 [loud thud] 415 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:04,927 [wet meat] 416 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,682 [grunting] 417 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:07,805 [suspenseful chord] 418 00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:08,851 [clink] 419 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,394 She hung up. 420 00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,437 [ominous music] 421 00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,061 [thumping and wet meat] 422 00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:53,353 [thumps and crashing] 423 00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:57,943 [glass shattering] 424 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,652 [knocking] Miles? 425 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,356 [thumping] 426 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,908 Are you all right in there? 427 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,201 [grunting, crashing] 428 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,195 [wet meat] 429 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:15,916 Ugh! 430 00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:25,760 [flushing] 431 00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:26,934 [sighing] 432 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,012 That was a close one. 433 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:31,306 [ominous music] 434 00:22:31,391 --> 00:22:34,481 Oh, no! 435 00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:35,981 [Louise, knocking] Miles. 436 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,613 I'm getting very concerned. 437 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,729 lt sounds like something broke in there. 438 00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:42,356 You don't happen to have a plunger, do you? 439 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,404 Oh. 440 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:47,449 Just what in the hell happened in here? 441 00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:49,952 l'm on a new medication. 442 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:50,785 [spIashing] Oh! 443 00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,081 [growling] 444 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,206 Oh, my God! 445 00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:59,132 [ominous music] 446 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,881 lt's getting bigger! 447 00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:01,882 [growling] 448 00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,383 Run! 449 00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:05,625 [Louise, screaming] 450 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:09,894 No! 451 00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:11,760 Run! 452 00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:13,098 Ugh. 453 00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,183 [growling and squealing] 454 00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:16,478 [screaming] 455 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:17,901 Oh! [screaming] 456 00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:19,399 [screaming] 457 00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,321 [screaming and sound of wet meat] 458 00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:33,787 [growling] 459 00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:39,668 [Louise, screaming] 460 00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:40,881 [crash] 461 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,600 [growling] 462 00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,064 [glass shattering] 463 00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:09,863 [thump] 464 00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:11,238 [gurgling] 465 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,289 Um. 466 00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:19,039 l can explain that. 467 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,377 He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but-- 468 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,211 "Nice" just don't count in the bedroom 469 00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,666 when you got a baby gherkin between your legs. 470 00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:28,466 Come on, Stewie. Make a poo poo for momma, 471 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:31,090 Come on, be a good boy. l'm not exaggerating. 472 00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,798 The guy's hung like Howdy Doody, 473 00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,096 and that's being generous. 474 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:35,891 [ominous music] 475 00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,314 [chuckling] Of course l'm gonna see him again. 476 00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,061 Did you see his car? lt's a Cadillac. 477 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,145 No, that sizze was more than acceptable-- 478 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:43,610 [eerie sound and dog whining] 479 00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,570 Stewie! Will you please shut up? 480 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:49,360 l'm sorry. He flunked obedience school. The mongoloid. 481 00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:51,906 [ominous music] 482 00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:54,160 [wet meat] 483 00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:56,332 [whining] 484 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:05,460 [monster growIing, dog whining] 485 00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:08,295 Why does it smell like Ajax? [Ioud growI] 486 00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:10,721 Stewie! Ow! You almost dislocated my-- 487 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,350 Stewie? 488 00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,771 [ominous chord] 489 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,850 l have to call you back, mom. 490 00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,266 Stewie just escaped from his leash again. 491 00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,230 There you are. 492 00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:28,897 [wet meat] 493 00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:30,565 You furry fugitive, you. 494 00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:32,074 You'd better get your little butt 495 00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:33,525 over here before-- [gasping] 496 00:25:33,615 --> 00:25:34,735 [growling] 497 00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:37,374 [wet meat sound] 498 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:41,999 [squirting sound] 499 00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:47,796 [accordion music] 500 00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:04,228 [Ioud thump] 501 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,355 [metaIIic cIanking] 502 00:26:12,445 --> 00:26:14,775 [ominous chord] 503 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,076 [cIanking continues] 504 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:39,426 [shouting] 505 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,281 You almost gave me a heart attack. 506 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:52,739 Me too! 507 00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:59,115 What'd you get? [chuckling] 508 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,490 [humming] 509 00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:06,623 [chuckling] A Milk Dud. 510 00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:08,876 [laughing viciously] 511 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,340 So, what did you find? 512 00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:15,131 Half a rotisserie 513 00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:17,296 chicken. [laughing] 514 00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:19,635 You're gonna split that with me, right? 515 00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,181 Yeah. Maybe. 516 00:27:21,264 --> 00:27:23,974 For a hand job. 517 00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:26,309 [suspenseful music] 518 00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,563 Don't be such a prude, Babs. 519 00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:31,567 lt's not like you ain't done it 1 00,000 times already. 520 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,980 Sp-- Sperm! 521 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,149 Exactly! 522 00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:42,584 [growling] 523 00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:45,251 [suspenseful music, intensifying] 524 00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:47,920 [growling] 525 00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:54,091 [crunch and splatter] 526 00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:56,222 Bob! 527 00:27:56,299 --> 00:27:58,879 [woman shouting] 528 00:27:58,968 --> 00:28:02,348 [running footsteps] 529 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:03,720 [growling] 530 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:05,517 [shouting] 531 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,560 [cIanking and shouting] 532 00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,345 [shouting, echoing] 533 00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:12,608 l want to thank you for being so understanding. 534 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,031 You know, a lot of girls would've run for the hills 535 00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:18,360 if the sperm of their blind date shot up their skirt like that. 536 00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,065 So, thanks again. 537 00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:22,446 l swear to God, l will pay for any damages. 538 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,044 Oh, please, things can be replaced. 539 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,700 Testicles can't. 540 00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,038 Now that's for sure. 541 00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:32,423 l'm just glad you're-- Uh. 542 00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,712 Louise? What's the matter? 543 00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:37,376 [panting] Oh, my God. 544 00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:40,264 Miles. That's your sperm. 545 00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:43,303 (TV presenter) This just in. The tadpoIe-Iike creature 546 00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,178 is running rampant as it heads downtown. 547 00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:49,556 Five are dead aIready and unconfirmed reports 548 00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:52,402 claim the slimy beast is now the sizze of a house 549 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,150 and growing! 550 00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:56,782 Military leaders are described as "testy" 551 00:28:56,860 --> 00:29:00,610 when asked how to defend against this gargantuan goo. 552 00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,777 The military is doing its best 553 00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:06,906 to determine what it would take to rub one out of this sizze. 554 00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:08,575 What are we gonna do? 555 00:29:08,663 --> 00:29:11,423 We gotta get the authorities. Come on! 556 00:29:11,499 --> 00:29:14,629 Citizzens are asked to use whatever protection they can 557 00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:17,091 and avoid the creature's immediate vicinity 558 00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:19,762 which authorities are calling, "the wet spot". 559 00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:22,591 [ominous music] 560 00:29:22,677 --> 00:29:24,637 [growIing and eerie chords] 561 00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:31,598 [thunder] 562 00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,608 We're reporting live from downtown Manhattan 563 00:29:35,690 --> 00:29:37,730 at the epicenter of the crisis zzone 564 00:29:37,817 --> 00:29:40,277 with a sperm creature which has now risen to five stories high 565 00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:43,611 and apparently still growing has been wreaking havoc on New York. 566 00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:46,988 The Mayor is insisting that all New Yorkers remain in their homes 567 00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:49,826 until further-- Oh, my God. 568 00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,333 lt's coming. [shouting] 569 00:29:51,414 --> 00:29:52,714 [growling] 570 00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:54,001 [splatter] 571 00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:55,633 [growling] 572 00:29:59,088 --> 00:30:01,968 (TV presenter) The stupendous spermatozzoa is ravaging through CentraI Park. 573 00:30:02,008 --> 00:30:03,968 Oh, the humanity! 574 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,811 [gunshots] 575 00:30:12,393 --> 00:30:14,483 [crash and crunch] 576 00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:16,192 [explosion] 577 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,409 The spermicide is having absolutely no effect. 578 00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:32,405 What does this sperm want, doc? 579 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:35,247 What every sperm wants, General. To fertilizze an ovum! 580 00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:37,583 There's not an ovum on God's green earth 581 00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,419 big enough for that thing. 582 00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:40,844 (Miles) Wait! I just figured it out. 583 00:30:40,922 --> 00:30:42,632 The Statue of Liberty. 584 00:30:42,715 --> 00:30:45,085 lt's the only conceivable female large enough. 585 00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:47,586 [ominous music] 586 00:31:08,741 --> 00:31:11,451 [sweet eerie music] 587 00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:28,965 [growling softly] 588 00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,553 [ominous music] 589 00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:33,018 [choppers] 590 00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:59,674 Steady. Steady. 591 00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:08,130 [growling] 592 00:32:08,217 --> 00:32:10,427 [ripping] 593 00:32:10,511 --> 00:32:11,761 Ah! Dammit. 594 00:32:11,804 --> 00:32:12,724 Oh, my God! 595 00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:14,215 Don't panic, 596 00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:16,097 there's gotta be another one here. 597 00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:17,522 (General) No time. Look! 598 00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:19,442 [growling] 599 00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:21,859 [ominous music] 600 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,770 [growling] 601 00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:27,954 [squealing] 602 00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:40,457 [growling] 603 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,130 Attention! 604 00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:43,708 This is General Bukkake. 605 00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,875 lnitiate Operation Moneyshot. Three. 606 00:32:49,050 --> 00:32:51,430 Two! 607 00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,761 One! 608 00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:53,845 [whistling] 609 00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:55,470 [explosion] 610 00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:59,693 [joyous cIassicaI music] 611 00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:35,354 (Miles) Ah. 612 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,390 [Ugh. 613 00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:42,691 [chuckling] Some first date, huh? 614 00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:45,480 [chuckling] 615 00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,874 You can say that again. 616 00:33:56,951 --> 00:33:58,871 Well, at least it's good for the skin. 617 00:33:58,953 --> 00:34:00,123 Yeah. 618 00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:02,374 [triumphant music] 619 00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,455 What? 620 00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:12,468 What's the matter? 621 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:13,630 Nothing. 622 00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:19,808 [triumphant music continues] 623 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,731 Miles! [music stops] 624 00:34:24,771 --> 00:34:26,401 All right. 625 00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:28,149 Fuck it. 626 00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:29,862 [triumphant music] 627 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,820 Hm. [ominous music] 628 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,277 [grunting] 629 00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:46,579 [spooky music] 630 00:34:55,134 --> 00:34:56,644 Oh, yeah. Classic cinema. 631 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,179 Wow. 632 00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:01,012 lf you liked Remains of the Day 633 00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:04,349 then you'll cream over Wadzilla. 634 00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:06,135 You know? 635 00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:07,939 Not enough tits. 636 00:35:08,022 --> 00:35:11,152 Wow. Ryan. Be your brother much? 637 00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:13,194 Mayna, don't insult me. 638 00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:16,777 (Tobe) Okay, substance run. I am so thirsty. 639 00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,783 Oh, no. Sit tight. Sit tight. l'll go. 640 00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:21,075 l got this. l got this one. 641 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,410 What? [background radio] 642 00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:23,615 Nothing. 643 00:35:23,704 --> 00:35:24,964 l just wanna make sure 644 00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:26,497 my friends are well fueled. 645 00:35:26,582 --> 00:35:28,632 (both) Hm. Sure. 646 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:30,669 What do you want? 647 00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:32,253 Get me some red vines. No popcorn. 648 00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:33,838 No corn? 649 00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:35,473 Nope. No popcorn for me, but, 650 00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:37,680 a Coke would be delightful, Romeo. 651 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,550 AII right. Red Vines. Check. 652 00:35:39,637 --> 00:35:41,967 Coke. Check. Fuck off. Check. 653 00:35:42,056 --> 00:35:45,846 Back before flick two. You kids, be good now. 654 00:35:47,603 --> 00:35:49,403 Oh. Uh. MilkDuds. 655 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:50,150 GremIins. 656 00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:51,769 Yeah! 657 00:35:54,068 --> 00:35:55,188 So-- [sighing] 658 00:35:55,278 --> 00:35:56,698 [clears throat] Uh-- 659 00:35:56,779 --> 00:35:59,569 Robert England to Kane Hodder. Go. 660 00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:00,907 God, l love you. 661 00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:02,082 What? 662 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,370 Uh, nothing, nothing. 663 00:36:03,452 --> 00:36:05,372 Uh, well, that's easy-- 664 00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:07,874 (announcer) Stop the show. [bIowing whistIe] 665 00:36:07,957 --> 00:36:09,617 Here's news you want to know. 666 00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:12,169 We just got a shipment of-- 667 00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:13,803 (Miller) Dude! 668 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,670 Hey, you get me snackage? Thank you. 669 00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:17,085 Oh, l am? 670 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:20,005 Come on, cum bubble. l'm busy. 671 00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:21,054 Hi, Ryan. 672 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:22,387 Hi, Laura. 673 00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:23,891 You gonna go talk to Desi? 674 00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:25,563 Why does everyone know about this? 675 00:36:25,641 --> 00:36:27,101 Popcorn. Extra butter. AndaIe. 676 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,885 How about some money, prick? 677 00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:31,268 Put it on my tab, douche. [rolling up window] 678 00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,225 Asshole. 679 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:35,686 l think your brother's cute. 680 00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,525 l think my brother's a fagot. 681 00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:39,362 [cheerful music] 682 00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:44,199 Enjoy the show. 683 00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,036 Hi, Des. 684 00:36:46,078 --> 00:36:47,038 Hey, Daddy-O. 685 00:36:47,121 --> 00:36:48,621 What's your tale nightingale? 686 00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:49,916 Nothing much. 687 00:36:49,999 --> 00:36:51,419 Pretty crazzy outside, huh? 688 00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:52,880 lt's never been this jammin'. 689 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,130 lt's totally Antsville. 690 00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,552 Man. 691 00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:56,960 [chuckling nervously] 692 00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,128 Hey, you look so boss. 693 00:36:58,216 --> 00:36:59,546 You like it? 694 00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:01,264 l thought it'd be appropriate, 695 00:37:01,344 --> 00:37:02,144 last night and all. 696 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:03,510 Sure. 697 00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:04,796 What can l do for ya? 698 00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,059 Uh, l need a Twizzzzlers, 699 00:37:07,099 --> 00:37:09,309 a Coke and a popcorn, 700 00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:11,653 with extra extra arsenic, please. 701 00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,559 That last order is for big brother? 702 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,268 How could you tell? 703 00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,398 Lucky guess. Let me get that for ya. 704 00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:18,895 Sure. 705 00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,991 Snickers! Hey, l'm sorry. 706 00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:28,448 We're all out of butter 707 00:37:28,537 --> 00:37:29,907 but l can go get some real quick. 708 00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:31,406 Nah, it's not a problem, 709 00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:32,959 l don't wanna hold the line. 710 00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:34,632 (Desi) Nah, nah, it's okay. 711 00:37:34,710 --> 00:37:37,090 l'll be back in a jiff. Just hold on, okay? 712 00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:43,465 [moaning and coughing] 713 00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:46,142 [grunting] 714 00:37:50,309 --> 00:37:52,439 [groaning in pain] 715 00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:56,362 [suspenseful music] 716 00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:01,240 [sighing] 717 00:38:06,325 --> 00:38:07,775 [door opening] 718 00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:14,832 Golly. 719 00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:19,672 [suspenseful music] 720 00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:21,795 Beach, blanket, 721 00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:23,382 bingo! 722 00:38:23,467 --> 00:38:25,087 Hm. lt's open. 723 00:38:25,177 --> 00:38:27,967 [indistinct] 724 00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:34,055 [door cIosing] 725 00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:40,069 [gurgling] 726 00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,414 So how's the car? l saw you on King last week, pretty cherry. 727 00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:49,330 You liked it? l got it right outside if you wanna take a look. 728 00:38:49,368 --> 00:38:50,988 Nifty. Really? 729 00:38:51,037 --> 00:38:53,497 You know. Maybe before l hit back upstate, 730 00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,121 l'd like to take you for a drive. 731 00:38:55,207 --> 00:38:58,417 Gee whizz. Um, yeah, but only if you come. 732 00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:00,712 [chuckling] Hey, now. 733 00:39:00,796 --> 00:39:02,506 [Mr. K. over radio] Well, kiddies. 734 00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:04,420 Ready for another rush 735 00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:08,218 rock and shock and roII? [Iaughing viciousIy] 736 00:39:08,304 --> 00:39:10,104 Shit. To be continued. 737 00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:13,021 Absolutely, big tickler. Come back after this one? 738 00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:14,679 That's a promise, Suzzy Q. 739 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,349 Ryan? 740 00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:17,847 Yeah. 741 00:39:17,938 --> 00:39:19,898 That's ten dollars. 742 00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:21,232 Ah! Right. Right. 743 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,780 Come back, okay? 744 00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:28,413 Swearzzies. Hope to die. Later gator. 745 00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:29,871 After a while, crocodile. 746 00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:36,919 Nice. 747 00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:39,629 (Mr. K.) This next class of cinematic sin 748 00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:42,460 stems from the outer reaches 749 00:39:42,546 --> 00:39:45,586 of Planet Taboo. 750 00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:48,934 So buckle up your seat beIts-- 751 00:39:49,011 --> 00:39:50,261 (Ryan) Hey! 752 00:39:50,346 --> 00:39:52,466 HeIIo? [thump] 753 00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,136 Dude, fuck-head, my door! 754 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,135 There's your fucking popcorn. 755 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,437 Thanks, Ryan! 756 00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,100 Penis. 757 00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:04,648 About to unleash the fantastic furry fury 758 00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:10,235 ofl Was a Teenage Werebear. 759 00:40:10,324 --> 00:40:12,914 [barking and howIing] 760 00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:16,502 [howling] 761 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,590 [maIe voice on radio] Mark the Shark rocking down the PCH 762 00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,303 with NBH. 763 00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:30,093 Yeah, baby, Bobby Vinton. 764 00:40:30,177 --> 00:40:32,597 [woman moaning wiIdIy] 765 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,430 [soft pop music] 766 00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:37,846 [woman Iaughing wiIdIy] 767 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,110 Peggy Lou, if you keep groping like an octopus 768 00:40:45,192 --> 00:40:47,782 l'm gonna have to tell you [indistinct] 769 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:50,112 Now l'm gonna make you love me like Elvis. 770 00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:51,696 Geezz, me just met last week 771 00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,492 ain't you ever heard of taking it slow? 772 00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:55,786 Slow is for old-fashioned girls, 773 00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,160 not a modern woman like me, now get over here. 774 00:40:58,247 --> 00:40:59,957 Are all the girls in Malibu like you? 775 00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:02,249 Ricky, don't you like boobies? 776 00:41:02,334 --> 00:41:03,334 (kid) Hey, Ricky! 777 00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:05,299 President Kennedy 778 00:41:05,379 --> 00:41:08,379 says we're going to the moon! [chuckIing] 779 00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,376 [indistinct] 780 00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,388 l see you finally found your pot of gold, son. 781 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,680 Hi, Mr. O'Reilly. Hi, Jimmy. 782 00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:17,223 (father) Top 'o the mornin' to ya Ias. I bIess you chiId, 783 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,808 for finally putting lrish whiskey [indistinct] 784 00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:21,524 Cut it, dad. Nothing happened. 785 00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:23,614 Rickie's mother, God rest her soul, 786 00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:26,569 never was much for lrish whiskey, if you know what l mean. 787 00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,400 Oh, you poor old thing. 788 00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:30,856 lt's been a long, lonely life. 789 00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:32,656 Everybody, shut up! 790 00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,525 What are you two even doing here, anyway? 791 00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:39,579 You forgot your lunch for school on the beach day, dumdum. 792 00:41:39,663 --> 00:41:41,163 [playful chord] 793 00:41:41,248 --> 00:41:45,878 Oh, you're tearing me apart! 794 00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:48,841 [funny car horn] 795 00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:50,593 [sighing] 796 00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:53,554 l swear, l'll never be like my old man. 797 00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:55,846 He's such a perv. 798 00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:57,680 Oh, Rickie, he isn't all that bad 799 00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:00,143 he just wants what's best for his son. 800 00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:04,266 I just don't wanna be another washed up jock slash war vet like him. 801 00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:06,015 There's more to life. 802 00:42:06,106 --> 00:42:09,936 No, there's more to me than, 803 00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:13,357 bouncing baIIs [indistinct] 804 00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:14,857 More to life than us? 805 00:42:14,907 --> 00:42:16,617 [silly chuckle] 806 00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:19,950 Ricky Patrick O'Reilly, you're doing it again. 807 00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:21,787 Doing what? 808 00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:24,082 You're looking away. 809 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:34,625 ♫ ls it something l do lt it something l say, ♫ 810 00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:38,558 ♫ Every time l'm with you l see you looking away ♫ 811 00:42:38,597 --> 00:42:42,227 ♫ They say the eyes are The souI, doorway straight To your heart ♫ 812 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,138 ♫ lf you won't Ever stay close ♫ 813 00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:48,188 ♫ lt's like l just cut a fart ♫ 814 00:42:50,192 --> 00:42:53,402 ♫ Don't look away, baby ♫ 815 00:42:53,445 --> 00:42:56,815 ♫ Please, don't look away ♫ 816 00:42:56,907 --> 00:43:00,287 ♫ Stare me straight ln the eyes ♫ 817 00:43:00,369 --> 00:43:04,659 ♫ With our hands Between my thighs ♫ 818 00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:09,378 ♫ So please don't look away ♫ 819 00:43:16,802 --> 00:43:20,182 ♫ Baby give me some time So l can make up my mind ♫ 820 00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:21,934 ♫ Just know That it isn't you ♫ 821 00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:23,926 ♫ These feelings Make me so blue ♫ 822 00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:25,938 ♫ l'm trying Real hard to find ♫ 823 00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:27,688 ♫ The one That makes me feel right ♫ 824 00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,651 ♫ Till then l guess That it's you ♫ 825 00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:32,692 ♫ That's just the best l can do ♫ 826 00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:37,196 ♫ So l look away, baby ♫ 827 00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:40,621 ♫ l guess l'll look away ♫ 828 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:44,501 ♫ l can't take our eyes ♫ 829 00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:48,040 ♫ For you might see The lies ♫ 830 00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:53,545 ♫ So l will look away ♫ 831 00:43:56,842 --> 00:43:58,642 ♫ Don't look away ♫ 832 00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,549 ♫ l think l'll look away ♫ 833 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,178 ♫ Please Don't look away ♫ 834 00:44:02,264 --> 00:44:04,314 ♫ l guess l'll look away ♫ 835 00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:06,561 ♫ Stare me straight ln the eye ♫ 836 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,144 ♫ l can't take your eyes ♫ 837 00:44:08,228 --> 00:44:10,058 ♫ Place your hands Between my thighs ♫ 838 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:12,687 ♫ For you might see The lies ♫ 839 00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,648 ♫ Don't look away ♫ 840 00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,488 (Ricky) ♫ l think l'll look away ♫ 841 00:44:19,573 --> 00:44:21,663 ♫ Tear me up inside ♫ 842 00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:24,410 ♫ You make me Wanna go hide ♫ 843 00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:27,905 (Ricky) ♫♫ l think l'll look away ♫♫ 844 00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:30,708 [tires screeching] 845 00:44:30,793 --> 00:44:32,753 [engine roaring] 846 00:44:34,421 --> 00:44:36,171 [screaming] 847 00:44:36,256 --> 00:44:38,626 [loud crash] 848 00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:40,257 You saved me. 849 00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,354 Quite observant. 850 00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:46,018 Whoa. You dented my Bronco. 851 00:44:46,058 --> 00:44:47,428 (Ricky) You dented her. 852 00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:51,098 l got a boo boo. [laughing] 853 00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:53,768 l see the new kid's making nice with the other team. 854 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,727 What team would that be, Butch? 855 00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,779 The team 856 00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:01,662 no God-fearing red-blooded American 857 00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:03,950 would be caught dead playing for. 858 00:45:04,034 --> 00:45:05,584 l toss balls with the boys. 859 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:08,451 [scoffing] ExactIy. 860 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:10,209 [aII Iaughing] 861 00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:12,040 [kissing] 862 00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,916 (Ricky) Look, Butch. She needs help. 863 00:45:14,002 --> 00:45:17,132 The kind of help that bird needs ain't gonna come 864 00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:19,764 from a Melvin like you. 865 00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,052 (all) Ooooh. 866 00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:26,600 See ya in class, bitch sticks. 867 00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:27,892 (all chuckling) 868 00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:31,063 She don't look so good. 869 00:45:31,103 --> 00:45:32,523 (Talon) l've seen worse. 870 00:45:32,604 --> 00:45:33,944 [chuckling] 871 00:45:34,022 --> 00:45:36,072 l don't know how to thank you. 872 00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:39,438 You'll think of something. They always think of something. 873 00:45:39,528 --> 00:45:41,488 Wait. What's your names? 874 00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:47,160 Talon. Dan. Den. 875 00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:48,294 l'm-- 876 00:45:48,370 --> 00:45:50,660 Ricky. We know. 877 00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:08,595 [foreign accent] You did good bringing her to me. 878 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:12,520 With a little snoozze she'll be A-okay. [background ocean] 879 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,773 Shouldn't we bring her to the hospital? 880 00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:17,185 ♫ You got a pee pee Stick it in my poo poo ♫ 881 00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,114 ♫♫ Make it go boom! ♫♫ 882 00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:23,323 The brains, they spill a little bit crazzy. She fine. 883 00:46:23,405 --> 00:46:27,985 [eerie, echoing maIe voice] Ricky. Ricky. 884 00:46:31,246 --> 00:46:34,616 [echoing] Go away, you nasty beasty! 885 00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:39,298 Take your filthy vermin with you. Shoo! Shoo! 886 00:46:39,379 --> 00:46:43,509 [triumphant romantic music] 887 00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:09,622 (Nurse Maleva) Shoo! 888 00:47:09,701 --> 00:47:11,661 Shoo! 889 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:17,205 Take your foul animuIes with you. Shoo. Shoo. 890 00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:21,172 You stay away from those kind. 891 00:47:21,213 --> 00:47:24,223 Yeah, well those kind saved me. 892 00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:32,894 [cheerful music] 893 00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:57,463 [whistIe bIowing] 894 00:47:57,541 --> 00:47:59,791 [audience booing] 895 00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:02,297 So Big Bad Butch ain't so bad after all. 896 00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,299 Aw, the heck with that, coach! 897 00:48:04,381 --> 00:48:06,551 Tinker Bell didn't pin me. 898 00:48:06,633 --> 00:48:08,343 l was distracted. 899 00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:09,887 [giggling] 900 00:48:09,928 --> 00:48:11,098 [chuckling] All right. Who's next? 901 00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,969 (Talon) Me. 902 00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:16,476 (coach) Oh, so l see Mr. Ducktale 903 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,650 finally decided to join us in class this semester. 904 00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,650 Couldn't get a note from your quack? 905 00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,112 Them two are sweet on each other. 906 00:48:23,191 --> 00:48:24,941 Take that back, Butch! 907 00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,397 (coach) Yo! Yo! Save it for the mat. 908 00:48:27,487 --> 00:48:28,817 l don't mind if l do. 909 00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,486 [hard rock music] 910 00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:34,075 [both grunting and groaning] 911 00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,287 Give in, Rick. 912 00:48:38,373 --> 00:48:39,423 Give in to me. 913 00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:40,749 Never! 914 00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,172 You can run from me 915 00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:45,592 but you can't run from yourself. 916 00:48:45,631 --> 00:48:47,341 Get off me now! 917 00:48:47,424 --> 00:48:50,264 [horror music] 918 00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:52,434 [growIing] 919 00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:54,012 [shouting] 920 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,267 Yo, what did l tell you about biting? 921 00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,938 (Talon) Sorry, coach, l skipped breakfast. 922 00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:02,649 (coach) Skipped breakfast? Wiseguy, huh? Okay, three miIe run everybody 923 00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:04,691 you can all thank wiseguy over here. 924 00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,105 Everybody let's go. 925 00:49:06,151 --> 00:49:08,321 Come on. Get go. Get going. 926 00:49:20,832 --> 00:49:21,922 [thump] 927 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,710 ♫ l got a feeling ♫ 928 00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,795 ♫ A feeling That l'm gonna explode ♫ 929 00:49:27,881 --> 00:49:31,091 ♫ Yes, l've got this feeling ♫ 930 00:49:31,176 --> 00:49:35,296 ♫ How much longer Must l hold my load? ♫ 931 00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:41,637 ♫ Oh, what do l do? ♫ 932 00:49:44,898 --> 00:49:46,568 ♫ Purge this urge ♫ 933 00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:49,900 ♫ Oh, God, l really Gotta purge this urge ♫ 934 00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:52,697 ♫ lf nothing else l've gotta purge ♫ 935 00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:55,201 ♫ This urge ♫ 936 00:49:55,283 --> 00:49:58,333 ♫ Ooh Ooh ♫ 937 00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:02,748 ♫ Purge this urge ♫ 938 00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:06,628 ♫ The time is coming ♫ 939 00:50:09,172 --> 00:50:10,922 ♫ When l gotta choose ♫ 940 00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:13,048 ♫ There's no more hiding ♫ 941 00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:17,965 ♫ No more playing By the boss man's rules ♫ 942 00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:24,310 ♫ l've got to find My own way ♫ 943 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,484 ♫♫ Purge this urge! ♫♫ 944 00:50:28,567 --> 00:50:30,277 [music stops abruptIy] 945 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,610 ls there something you wanna talk about, kid? 946 00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:34,276 [ beII ringing] 947 00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,624 (Ricky) My mother, before she died, 948 00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,410 she said, "Ricky, 949 00:50:39,494 --> 00:50:43,254 always be true to yourself". And l try to be. 950 00:50:43,331 --> 00:50:48,171 But l get these feelings. 951 00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:51,633 Uh, these, urges. 952 00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:58,224 And they feel true, they feel so right. 953 00:50:58,263 --> 00:51:01,563 But, 954 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,480 so wrong. 955 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,560 Ricky, it may come as a surprise to you, kid. 956 00:51:06,646 --> 00:51:09,726 Coach Tuffman gets those kind of urges too. 957 00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:12,485 You don't think l , [chuckling] 958 00:51:12,569 --> 00:51:15,399 watch you guys shower after class? 959 00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:18,489 Soaping up your biceps, 960 00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:19,985 your abs, 961 00:51:20,077 --> 00:51:21,657 glutes. 962 00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:24,455 Whoa. l think it's time for me to bug out. 963 00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:26,999 Ricky, sit down. Relax. 964 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,504 This is between me and you, right? 965 00:51:29,586 --> 00:51:34,256 I'm gonna do something for you my wife will never do for me. 966 00:51:34,341 --> 00:51:36,181 That dusty old wench. [chuckling] 967 00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:39,299 Hey! 968 00:51:39,387 --> 00:51:40,967 [coach, groaning] 969 00:51:41,056 --> 00:51:43,346 [suspenseful music] 970 00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:49,555 [both shouting] 971 00:51:58,698 --> 00:52:01,028 Tastes like chicken, huh, babe? 972 00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:04,578 [sad music] 973 00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:11,171 l don't know what's happening to me. 974 00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:15,173 lt's as if suddenly l have this strength, that, like-- 975 00:52:15,257 --> 00:52:17,507 Of a grizzzzly? 976 00:52:17,592 --> 00:52:20,552 Listen. Don't have a cow. 977 00:52:20,637 --> 00:52:23,057 We got your back. 978 00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,060 You did this. 979 00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:29,652 lt was your bite! My ass! 980 00:52:29,729 --> 00:52:33,859 What? What are you? 981 00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:36,992 The same as you. 982 00:52:37,028 --> 00:52:39,488 (Butch) Oooh. 983 00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,783 Look who we've got here. 984 00:52:41,867 --> 00:52:44,237 Clean up for coach like good little boys? 985 00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:46,367 More like cleaning up coach. 986 00:52:46,454 --> 00:52:48,044 [guys Iaughing] 987 00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:51,833 Time to teach the fairy brigade a lesson. 988 00:52:51,918 --> 00:52:52,998 [beII ringing] 989 00:52:53,044 --> 00:52:54,384 Ugh. 990 00:52:54,462 --> 00:52:56,172 (Butch) My pops toId me 991 00:52:56,256 --> 00:52:58,506 this is how you teach Iessons to pansies 992 00:52:58,550 --> 00:53:00,010 993 00:53:00,093 --> 00:53:03,103 Sounds like pops knows how to party. 994 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,390 Leave him alone, Butch! 995 00:53:04,472 --> 00:53:06,772 Shut up, Nancy boy! 996 00:53:06,850 --> 00:53:08,230 You're next. 997 00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:10,600 Gentlemen. 998 00:53:10,687 --> 00:53:13,897 [aII chanting] PIug him up! PIug him up! PIug him up! 999 00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:17,572 Plug him up! Plug him up! Plug him up! 1000 00:53:17,652 --> 00:53:19,742 This is for you, Jesus. 1001 00:53:19,821 --> 00:53:21,071 [grunting] 1002 00:53:21,156 --> 00:53:25,866 Plug him up! Plug him up! 1003 00:53:25,952 --> 00:53:27,622 [chuckling] 1004 00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:30,084 Plug him up! Plug him up! 1005 00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:31,285 [growling] 1006 00:53:31,374 --> 00:53:32,714 [suspenseful music] 1007 00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:34,131 Plug him up! 1008 00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:36,921 [loud growling and horror chord] 1009 00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:44,471 [roaring] 1010 00:53:44,554 --> 00:53:47,144 [shrill scream] 1011 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,774 You okay, dude? 1012 00:53:48,850 --> 00:53:51,640 [Butch, giggIing hystericaIIy] 1013 00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:53,728 Man, l was just playing. 1014 00:53:53,813 --> 00:53:55,313 lt was just a joke. 1015 00:53:55,398 --> 00:53:57,728 lt's a party, daddy Os! 1016 00:53:57,776 --> 00:53:58,776 [swoosh] 1017 00:53:58,860 --> 00:54:00,990 [screaming] 1018 00:54:01,071 --> 00:54:04,241 [intense rock music] 1019 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:06,244 Ugh! 1020 00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:07,616 [slap] 1021 00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:09,832 [shouting] 1022 00:54:09,913 --> 00:54:11,083 [crying] 1023 00:54:11,164 --> 00:54:13,504 [shouting] 1024 00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:17,801 [playful music] 1025 00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:22,298 [intense rock music and crying] 1026 00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:28,062 l never promised l'd be gentle. 1027 00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:37,524 Now you know what we are. And what you are! 1028 00:54:37,607 --> 00:54:39,437 (Ricky) No. l'm not like any of you. 1029 00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:46,823 Angsty little dude. 1030 00:54:46,908 --> 00:54:48,988 [shouting] 1031 00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:50,947 My darling. lt's good for your head. 1032 00:54:51,037 --> 00:54:52,867 Call me, Sybill! 1033 00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,366 Nurse Maleva, you've gotta help me. 1034 00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:56,957 Just calm down. Tell me everything. 1035 00:54:57,043 --> 00:54:58,883 You were right. Talon, the twins, 1036 00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:01,672 they're not just different, they're-- They're-- 1037 00:55:01,756 --> 00:55:03,376 Werebears. 1038 00:55:03,466 --> 00:55:04,796 Werebears! 1039 00:55:04,884 --> 00:55:06,344 l'm sorry. l don't understand. 1040 00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:10,638 Where l am from, there is old saying 1041 00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,234 Even a boy who thinks he's straight 1042 00:55:14,311 --> 00:55:16,811 yet shaves his balls by night, 1043 00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:20,475 may become a Werebear from the hormones of age 1044 00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:23,817 and the Iatent urge takes flight. 1045 00:55:23,903 --> 00:55:25,453 So you're saying-- 1046 00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:28,070 Once bitten, anytime you get aroused, 1047 00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:30,328 you become that which bit you. 1048 00:55:30,368 --> 00:55:31,738 And you attack those you lust after. 1049 00:55:31,828 --> 00:55:33,368 Lust after? 1050 00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:38,165 l think you know what l'm talking about. 1051 00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:39,881 [playful ping] 1052 00:55:39,961 --> 00:55:41,341 Homo! 1053 00:55:41,421 --> 00:55:43,711 No. l am not a homo! 1054 00:55:43,798 --> 00:55:47,008 l'm a, Werebear. 1055 00:55:47,052 --> 00:55:48,932 [ominous chord] 1056 00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:51,642 [cheerful rock music] 1057 00:56:03,651 --> 00:56:05,031 Looking for these? 1058 00:56:05,111 --> 00:56:06,861 [sighing] 1059 00:56:09,824 --> 00:56:11,204 l'm going to the police. 1060 00:56:11,284 --> 00:56:14,204 Well, don't forget to tell them 1061 00:56:14,287 --> 00:56:16,617 what you did to good old Coach Tuffman. 1062 00:56:16,706 --> 00:56:18,366 He was trying to molest me. 1063 00:56:18,416 --> 00:56:20,126 Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. 1064 00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:21,790 You can't molest the willing. 1065 00:56:21,878 --> 00:56:23,208 [growling] 1066 00:56:23,254 --> 00:56:26,974 [light growl] 1067 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:30,890 You're such a cub, Ricky. All show and no go. 1068 00:56:30,929 --> 00:56:34,809 Who's talking about not being like everybody else, you just wanna be you. 1069 00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:36,811 This is you. 1070 00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:40,603 No. You did this to me. 1071 00:56:40,688 --> 00:56:43,398 [thump] You could ask yourself a question, brother. 1072 00:56:43,441 --> 00:56:47,321 [panting] Did the bite put the beast in you? 1073 00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:49,864 Or let it out. 1074 00:56:53,034 --> 00:56:55,704 [snapping] 1075 00:56:59,916 --> 00:57:04,626 ♫ Love, Iove, Iove Bit me on the ass ♫ 1076 00:57:04,712 --> 00:57:07,092 ♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫ 1077 00:57:07,132 --> 00:57:09,342 ♫ lt got me by surprise ♫ 1078 00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:11,586 ♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫ 1079 00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:14,136 ♫ Took teeth to realizze ♫ 1080 00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:16,932 ♫ That l'm just A lonely boy ♫ 1081 00:57:17,016 --> 00:57:19,266 ♫ Yes, deep down l'm blue ♫ 1082 00:57:19,352 --> 00:57:21,692 ♫ But when l'm unleash the beast ♫ 1083 00:57:21,771 --> 00:57:24,361 ♫ To myself l'm true ♫ 1084 00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:34,121 ♫ Love, Iove, Iove, Bit me on the ass ♫ 1085 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,790 ♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫ 1086 00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:39,290 ♫ Bit me deep down too ♫ 1087 00:57:39,372 --> 00:57:41,462 ♫ Love bit me on the ass ♫ 1088 00:57:41,499 --> 00:57:43,459 ♫ But no way am l like you ♫ 1089 00:57:43,501 --> 00:57:46,461 ♫ l may be quite different ♫ 1090 00:57:46,546 --> 00:57:48,376 ♫ But l am not a beast ♫ 1091 00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:51,375 ♫ l just want to cuddle ♫ 1092 00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:53,758 ♫ And you just wanna feast ♫ 1093 00:57:53,845 --> 00:58:24,165 ♫ Love, Iove, Iove, Bit me on the ass ♫ 1094 00:58:24,209 --> 00:58:26,999 ♫♫ Love, Iove, Iove ♫♫ 1095 00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:28,455 [both, growling] 1096 00:58:33,801 --> 00:58:38,011 Meet me tonight at the luau. lt's gonna be a bloodbath. 1097 00:58:38,097 --> 00:58:41,557 What do you mean [growling] with "bloodbath"? 1098 00:58:41,643 --> 00:58:45,063 lt means that the guys are gonna shake things up at the school dance. 1099 00:58:45,146 --> 00:58:48,516 Payback time for those small-minded haters. [chuckling] 1100 00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,528 l can't be part of that, Talon. 1101 00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,281 You can't be part of that. 1102 00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:56,113 This is not how you gain acceptance. 1103 00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:59,369 [panting] 1104 00:58:59,410 --> 00:59:05,000 Well, then l guess l'll see ya when l'll see ya. 1105 00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:21,101 [soft pop music] 1106 00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:29,404 ♫ l saw you dancing ♫ 1107 00:59:29,482 --> 00:59:32,612 ♫ Barefoot in the sand ♫ 1108 00:59:36,447 --> 00:59:41,237 ♫ l can love you Like no other can ♫ 1109 00:59:41,327 --> 00:59:46,247 ♫ Sexy ways Sexy ways ♫ 1110 00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:50,841 ♫♫ Sexy ways Sexy ways ♫♫ 1111 00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,340 [applause] 1112 00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:55,763 [audience booing] 1113 00:59:58,469 --> 01:00:02,509 You've all given us such a warm welcome this first week at school. 1114 01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:05,269 You definitely deserve this next number, it's, uh, 1115 01:00:05,351 --> 01:00:08,351 It's pretty bear-tastic. 1116 01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:12,688 [rock music begins] 1117 01:00:20,783 --> 01:00:24,163 ♫ Well, we got a new dance lt's the hit of the land ♫ 1118 01:00:27,081 --> 01:00:30,711 ♫ All you gotta do is thrust when you stand ♫ 1119 01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:35,879 ♫ [indistinct]a squeal, a grunt, and a squirt ♫ 1120 01:00:38,134 --> 01:00:43,314 ♫ Yeah, it's called the Warebear And it just might hurt ♫ 1121 01:00:43,348 --> 01:00:45,638 ♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫ 1122 01:00:45,725 --> 01:00:49,475 ♫ And let The Werebear do you ♫ 1123 01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:52,360 ♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫ 1124 01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:56,650 ♫ Right here in Malibu ♫ 1125 01:00:59,572 --> 01:01:01,622 (all) Yeah! 1126 01:01:01,699 --> 01:01:05,489 ♫ Sweeping the nation Just like civil rights Werebear ♫ 1127 01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:10,368 ♫ lt's the latest sensation For long long lonely nights ♫ 1128 01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:12,628 ♫ Werebear ♫ 1129 01:01:12,710 --> 01:01:14,670 l knew you would come, son. 1130 01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:17,014 ♫ Four, three, two, thrust ♫ 1131 01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:19,548 l know now what l must do, Maleva. 1132 01:01:19,634 --> 01:01:21,594 ♫ Three, thrust ♫ 1133 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:25,848 ♫ l wanna do it again Let's do the Werebear ♫ 1134 01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:29,392 ♫ And let The Werebear do you ♫ 1135 01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,687 ♫ Let's do the Werebear ♫ 1136 01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:36,231 ♫ Right here in Malibu ♫ 1137 01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:41,236 Yeah! 1138 01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:44,282 ♫ One, two, three, thrust ♫ 1139 01:01:44,367 --> 01:01:46,617 [moaning] 1140 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,873 ♫ One, two, three, thrust One, two, three, thrust ♫ 1141 01:01:49,956 --> 01:01:52,746 [growling] ♫ Do it again ♫ 1142 01:01:52,834 --> 01:01:54,584 [moaning] 1143 01:01:54,669 --> 01:01:59,049 ♫ One, two, three, thrust Oh, it never has to end ♫ 1144 01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:01,972 ♫ One, two, three, thrust One, two, three, thrust ♫ 1145 01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:05,391 [growling and shouting] 1146 01:02:05,471 --> 01:02:07,391 ♫♫ One, two, three, Thrust, oh! ♫♫ 1147 01:02:07,473 --> 01:02:08,603 ♫ Everybody gather round ♫ 1148 01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:10,393 [audience gasping] 1149 01:02:10,476 --> 01:02:12,976 ♫ You better not let This madness go down ♫ 1150 01:02:13,062 --> 01:02:16,982 ♫ They got good lines They fuck real good ♫ 1151 01:02:17,066 --> 01:02:21,646 ♫♫ But they just want To make you their food ♫♫ 1152 01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,032 Yeah! 1153 01:02:26,117 --> 01:02:27,777 [music stops] 1154 01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:30,409 [both growling] 1155 01:02:30,496 --> 01:02:33,746 Violence and hatred is not the answer. 1156 01:02:33,833 --> 01:02:38,343 lf we are to be accepted we must show love and tolerance. 1157 01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:41,381 There are human beings out there, Talon. 1158 01:02:41,466 --> 01:02:43,676 Not snacks. 1159 01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,340 [chuckling] 1160 01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:48,508 Nice speech, Gandhi. 1161 01:02:48,598 --> 01:02:51,848 But we're hungry! [suspenseful music] 1162 01:02:51,934 --> 01:02:53,694 [shouting] 1163 01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:56,310 [ominous music] 1164 01:02:56,397 --> 01:03:02,107 [general screaming and growling] 1165 01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,945 [suspenseful music continues] 1166 01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:08,332 (Talon) l freed you from a life of conformity. 1167 01:03:08,409 --> 01:03:11,449 l unleashed you from the mundane. 1168 01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:13,116 [punches and screaming] 1169 01:03:15,416 --> 01:03:18,996 (Ricky) You chained me to a life of bloodloss! 1170 01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:40,774 [shouting] 1171 01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:45,238 [screaming] 1172 01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:52,117 [shouting] 1173 01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,500 Help me, Maleva! 1174 01:04:02,088 --> 01:04:06,548 (Maleva) Yes, Ricky. You know what to do. 1175 01:04:06,634 --> 01:04:09,224 [shouting and suspenseful chord] 1176 01:04:16,227 --> 01:04:18,977 [both panting] 1177 01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:25,896 [sad music] Maybe-- 1178 01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:29,777 l should've been more like you. 1179 01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:33,116 We can change the world together. 1180 01:04:33,202 --> 01:04:35,122 You still can. 1181 01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:39,044 [panting] Go get 'em, kid. 1182 01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,035 Make sure 1183 01:04:41,085 --> 01:04:44,835 you tell them that l'm not a monster. 1184 01:04:46,924 --> 01:04:50,014 You know, Werebears need love too. 1185 01:05:07,987 --> 01:05:10,067 [howling] 1186 01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,658 (Tobe) Wow. Not enough gay. 1187 01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:21,167 (Ryan) Yeah, l mean, De Palma, ripping this off for Carrey? 1188 01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:23,290 (Tobe) Why are you surprised? lt's De Palma. 1189 01:05:23,377 --> 01:05:26,917 What-- What l don't get, is if they just shaved their chests 1190 01:05:26,964 --> 01:05:28,924 wouldn't their curse be lifted? 1191 01:05:28,966 --> 01:05:31,466 l mean, that's what it took to be a Werebear. Right? 1192 01:05:31,552 --> 01:05:33,432 Uh. Sure. 1193 01:05:33,512 --> 01:05:35,472 l feel like l would've used something less invasive. 1194 01:05:35,556 --> 01:05:38,346 You know, like, instead of a dildo, maybe a silver razzor. 1195 01:05:38,434 --> 01:05:40,104 [chuckling and squeaking sound] 1196 01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,346 What was that? 1197 01:05:42,438 --> 01:05:45,268 That's what scientists refer to as the one cheek sneak. 1198 01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:48,278 Anyone want anything from the concession stand? 1199 01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:49,361 l'm gonna go talk to Mr. K. 1200 01:05:49,445 --> 01:05:50,945 l'm good. 1201 01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:52,820 Nah, just bring Desi back if you can. 1202 01:05:52,907 --> 01:05:55,617 Yeah, sure, l'll be right back. [clearing throat] 1203 01:05:55,701 --> 01:05:57,871 [farting] 1204 01:06:03,751 --> 01:06:05,791 [continues farting] 1205 01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:11,221 ls it hot in here or is it just me? 1206 01:06:11,300 --> 01:06:13,090 lt's you. 1207 01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:19,015 How 'bout you sideburns, want some of this milk it may cool you off? 1208 01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,770 l'd rather have a beer. [chuckling] 1209 01:06:20,851 --> 01:06:22,641 Nice. 1210 01:06:22,728 --> 01:06:24,648 Okay. Saw you, Mr. CockbIock. 1211 01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:26,060 [mumbling] 1212 01:06:26,148 --> 01:06:28,018 Hey, is there any popcorn left? 1213 01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:30,899 Fresh out. 1214 01:06:30,987 --> 01:06:32,987 Want me to get some more before the next fIick? 1215 01:06:33,072 --> 01:06:34,912 Yeah. l'll just be here getting manhandled. 1216 01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:36,661 Really? 1217 01:06:36,742 --> 01:06:38,832 [baby gibberish] 1218 01:06:40,705 --> 01:06:42,825 Oh. l could just eat you up. 1219 01:06:42,915 --> 01:06:47,335 ♫ lt's all over, darling ♫ 1220 01:06:47,378 --> 01:06:48,668 ♫♫ because l-- ♫♫ 1221 01:06:48,754 --> 01:06:50,094 [door opening] 1222 01:06:50,172 --> 01:06:51,672 Hey, Mr. K. How you holding up? 1223 01:06:51,716 --> 01:06:53,376 Jesus, l'm sorry. l'm sorry. 1224 01:06:53,467 --> 01:06:55,087 Boy, dammit. 1225 01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:56,717 Does anybody knock anymore? 1226 01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:58,054 l'm an old man here. 1227 01:06:58,139 --> 01:06:59,309 Mr. K., l'm sorry, sir, l-- 1228 01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:00,930 Don't apoIogizze. 1229 01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:04,517 Put, put, put, put your hands down, son. 1230 01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,942 Wow. Thanks for the six heart attacks. 1231 01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:10,364 Do you have a minute to talk. l , l need to. 1232 01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:14,613 Well, sure thing. But, uh, go over to the projector first 1233 01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:16,697 and flip on my call, okay? 1234 01:07:16,782 --> 01:07:18,912 Yeah, you got it, Mr. K. 1235 01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:22,615 [screaming and thunder] 1236 01:07:22,705 --> 01:07:28,245 Welcome back, boyls and ghouls. 1237 01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:33,915 Anybody not off to eternal slumber yet? 1238 01:07:34,008 --> 01:07:36,798 [horns honking] 1239 01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:41,306 Tonight they wiII bask in the gIory of the unconventionaI. 1240 01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:44,730 spit in the eye of morality 1241 01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:48,690 and feast on the art of the damned. 1242 01:07:48,773 --> 01:07:51,983 With a film that will test your tastes 1243 01:07:52,068 --> 01:07:56,948 and rock the very fabric of your senses! [laughing] 1244 01:07:57,031 --> 01:08:01,411 [German accent] And first, it's time to bear witness 1245 01:08:01,494 --> 01:08:04,624 to the Bible of bad taste, 1246 01:08:04,705 --> 01:08:09,915 The Diary of Anne Frankenstein! 1247 01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:13,460 [rattIing and spooky piano music] 1248 01:08:13,547 --> 01:08:18,547 [1 930s music] 1249 01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:29,557 [speaking German] 1250 01:09:10,729 --> 01:09:14,069 [intense suspenseful music] 1251 01:09:31,750 --> 01:09:32,750 Sh. 1252 01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:42,638 [crash] 1253 01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:43,760 [shouting] 1254 01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:56,981 [suspenseful music stops] 1255 01:10:06,535 --> 01:10:08,195 [suspenseful music resumes] 1256 01:10:37,942 --> 01:10:38,862 [growling] 1257 01:11:17,856 --> 01:11:20,356 [playful music] 1258 01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:29,116 [chuckling] 1259 01:11:29,201 --> 01:11:30,991 [Anna, chuckling] 1260 01:11:31,078 --> 01:11:32,948 [mocking, laughing] 1261 01:11:33,038 --> 01:11:34,458 [all, laughing] 1262 01:11:53,058 --> 01:12:00,978 [gunshots] 1263 01:12:13,370 --> 01:12:15,290 [thunder] 1264 01:12:43,108 --> 01:12:44,438 [both soldiers] Heil, Hitler! 1265 01:12:44,526 --> 01:12:49,856 [indistinct] 1266 01:12:49,948 --> 01:12:51,568 Scheisse. 1267 01:13:07,716 --> 01:13:09,216 [knocking] 1268 01:13:22,106 --> 01:13:23,436 [chuckling] 1269 01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:24,774 Boop! 1270 01:14:03,063 --> 01:14:04,693 [playful music] 1271 01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:07,898 [both, laughing] 1272 01:14:10,612 --> 01:14:11,652 Poofta. 1273 01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:37,161 (both) HeiI, Hitler! 1274 01:16:07,062 --> 01:16:08,732 [suspenseful music] 1275 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:51,896 [singing, sweet music] 1276 01:17:20,677 --> 01:17:22,257 [suspenseful music] 1277 01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:23,506 (Eva) Oh, mein Gott. 1278 01:18:46,888 --> 01:18:48,598 [heavenIy music] 1279 01:18:51,852 --> 01:18:53,392 [growling] 1280 01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:45,608 [purring] 1281 01:19:49,242 --> 01:19:54,212 [growling] 1282 01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,170 Heil, Hitler! 1283 01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,515 Meshugannah. 1284 01:20:58,645 --> 01:20:59,845 Huh? 1285 01:21:14,244 --> 01:21:15,374 [growling softly] 1286 01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:32,143 [continues encouraging] 1287 01:22:38,161 --> 01:22:39,201 [growling] 1288 01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:44,705 [intense suspenseful music] 1289 01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:47,586 (both) Nein! 1290 01:22:49,130 --> 01:22:50,970 [indistinct] 1291 01:22:55,595 --> 01:22:57,095 [sound of wet meat] 1292 01:22:57,180 --> 01:22:58,140 [screaming] 1293 01:23:25,875 --> 01:23:28,665 [groaning] What the fuck? 1294 01:23:38,096 --> 01:23:39,426 [suspenseful music] 1295 01:24:00,410 --> 01:24:03,120 [gunshots] 1296 01:24:30,690 --> 01:24:33,900 [intense suspenseful music and screaming continues] 1297 01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:07,676 [Eva and Hitler alternate screaming] 1298 01:25:07,769 --> 01:25:09,059 [growling] 1299 01:25:21,574 --> 01:25:23,034 [both, sighing in relief] 1300 01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:25,618 [all scream] 1301 01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:42,639 [sound of wet meat] 1302 01:25:54,607 --> 01:25:55,727 [growling] 1303 01:26:10,498 --> 01:26:11,708 Oh! 1304 01:26:40,445 --> 01:26:41,605 [ripping, screaming] 1305 01:26:58,046 --> 01:27:00,126 [traditionaI Jewish music] 1306 01:27:23,613 --> 01:27:25,743 (male voice, on screen) What is it? [chorus singing] 1307 01:27:25,782 --> 01:27:28,582 More popcorn? 1308 01:27:28,618 --> 01:27:32,078 [on screen singing] ♫ Two hot popcorns Mix it up, wrap it up ♫ 1309 01:27:32,121 --> 01:27:34,211 ♫ Butter it up ♫ 1310 01:27:34,290 --> 01:27:36,750 [thump and moaning] 1311 01:27:36,834 --> 01:27:39,844 l got big plans for you, baby. 1312 01:27:39,921 --> 01:27:41,631 Nice. Nice. 1313 01:27:41,714 --> 01:27:42,844 You like that, baby? 1314 01:27:42,924 --> 01:27:44,304 Hm. Yeah. 1315 01:27:44,384 --> 01:27:47,184 [moaning] Loads of possibilities. 1316 01:27:47,262 --> 01:27:51,182 24.000 square feet, Starbucks, 1317 01:27:51,266 --> 01:27:54,686 Food court, oh, I get hard just thinking about it. 1318 01:27:54,769 --> 01:27:57,809 Yeah. [crunching, moaning] 1319 01:27:57,897 --> 01:28:00,437 Hm. That's good. Hm. 1320 01:28:00,525 --> 01:28:03,235 Oh. So, so good. 1321 01:28:03,319 --> 01:28:05,199 Hm. Delicious. 1322 01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:08,620 Hey. Are you enjoying my mouth or the fucking popcorn? 1323 01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,120 Well, both, baby. 1324 01:28:10,201 --> 01:28:12,541 lt's kind of a big fantasy for me. 1325 01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:15,460 Well, are you sure? 'Cause it seems you're getting aII orgasmic 1326 01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:16,870 about your fucking snacks. 1327 01:28:16,958 --> 01:28:20,458 [stomach noises and grunting] 1328 01:28:20,503 --> 01:28:23,383 Jesus, are you okay? 1329 01:28:23,464 --> 01:28:25,264 Yeah, just, uh, l feel hot. Kinda hot. 1330 01:28:25,341 --> 01:28:27,511 Don't stop. Come on. [stomach noises] 1331 01:28:27,593 --> 01:28:30,723 Okay. Tell me when you're gonna pop. You know l don't like the taste. 1332 01:28:30,805 --> 01:28:32,965 Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. 1333 01:28:40,106 --> 01:28:41,476 [groaning and gurgIing] 1334 01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:47,737 [suspenseful music] 1335 01:28:47,822 --> 01:28:49,322 What-- 1336 01:28:49,407 --> 01:28:51,117 [growling] 1337 01:28:57,582 --> 01:28:58,922 [wet meat and cracking] 1338 01:28:59,000 --> 01:29:00,170 [wet meat and growIing] 1339 01:29:00,209 --> 01:29:03,089 [background radio] 1340 01:29:03,171 --> 01:29:05,301 [horror chord] 1341 01:29:12,221 --> 01:29:14,431 More head. 1342 01:29:14,515 --> 01:29:17,385 [groaning] 1343 01:29:17,477 --> 01:29:20,017 [crunching, moaning] 1344 01:29:23,107 --> 01:29:25,187 [soft growling] 1345 01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:30,235 [loud thump] 1346 01:29:30,323 --> 01:29:31,203 What the fuck? 1347 01:29:31,282 --> 01:29:32,452 [chuckling] 1348 01:29:32,533 --> 01:29:33,743 l just washed this car. 1349 01:29:33,826 --> 01:29:35,286 He's got blue slushies! 1350 01:29:35,370 --> 01:29:37,700 Oh! l'm like freaking out right now! 1351 01:29:37,789 --> 01:29:39,369 All right. What were we talking about? 1352 01:29:39,415 --> 01:29:41,455 Tobe. l should probably go-- 1353 01:29:41,542 --> 01:29:43,542 Talk to Tobe. 1354 01:29:43,628 --> 01:29:46,048 I think you should talk to him. That's my piece. 1355 01:29:46,089 --> 01:29:49,799 That's fine! Screw it! Just tell me how it begins. 1356 01:29:49,884 --> 01:29:52,974 Roger Wilco. Red five. Standing by. 1357 01:29:53,054 --> 01:29:54,644 Hm. Nerdy one. 1358 01:29:54,722 --> 01:29:56,142 Yeah, and you getting that line 1359 01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,604 makes you one of the good ones. 1360 01:29:57,683 --> 01:29:59,063 [door cIosing] 1361 01:29:59,102 --> 01:30:03,272 Which makes me, the final girl. 1362 01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:08,938 (Announcer) And now, on with the show. 1363 01:30:11,906 --> 01:30:13,816 [thunder and screaming recording] 1364 01:30:13,908 --> 01:30:16,828 Well, my Chilly Chillens, 1365 01:30:16,911 --> 01:30:21,921 l hope you're still with us for the long [indistinct] [vicious laughing] 1366 01:30:28,005 --> 01:30:33,585 (Mr. K.) For this popuIar abomination you've all been waiting for. 1367 01:30:33,636 --> 01:30:37,676 The final sinful centerpiece, 1368 01:30:37,765 --> 01:30:40,845 of our last evening together. 1369 01:30:40,935 --> 01:30:43,345 Hey. 1370 01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:45,478 So, l need to get something off my chest. 1371 01:30:45,565 --> 01:30:47,475 l-- l-- 1372 01:30:47,567 --> 01:30:51,987 (Mr. K. You are gonna see some serious shit! 1373 01:30:52,071 --> 01:30:53,701 Whoa. 1374 01:30:53,781 --> 01:30:56,121 lt's just like in the movies, huh? 1375 01:30:56,200 --> 01:30:58,450 l-- l-- 1376 01:30:58,536 --> 01:31:00,656 l got nothing. 1377 01:31:00,746 --> 01:31:04,706 (Mr. K) The most viIe and offensive 1378 01:31:04,792 --> 01:31:07,382 stock of ceIIuIoid. 1379 01:31:07,462 --> 01:31:12,972 Here is Deathication. [Iaughing viciousIy] 1380 01:31:15,928 --> 01:31:18,508 [spooky music] 1381 01:31:23,436 --> 01:31:25,686 [door opening] 1382 01:31:25,771 --> 01:31:27,651 Oh, hello. 1383 01:31:27,690 --> 01:31:29,070 l didn't see you there. 1384 01:31:29,150 --> 01:31:30,820 Come in, won't you? 1385 01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:37,656 Would you mind, uh, closing the door, please? 1386 01:31:37,742 --> 01:31:38,832 [cIosing door] 1387 01:31:38,910 --> 01:31:40,660 Thank you very much. 1388 01:31:40,703 --> 01:31:43,413 As l was saying, my name is Fernando Phagabeefy. 1389 01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:46,078 lnternationally known and respected film maker. 1390 01:31:46,167 --> 01:31:47,747 The visionary mastermind 1391 01:31:47,835 --> 01:31:49,875 behind notorious cinematic works such as, 1392 01:31:49,962 --> 01:31:51,172 The Cunting Death, 1393 01:31:51,214 --> 01:31:52,924 Salo 2, The Next Day 1394 01:31:53,007 --> 01:31:55,837 and of course, Rosemary's Picnic TabIe. 1395 01:31:55,885 --> 01:31:57,385 l here now to present to you 1396 01:31:57,470 --> 01:31:59,640 my latest and greatest moving picture. 1397 01:31:59,722 --> 01:32:01,772 A film so scandalous, so intense, 1398 01:32:01,849 --> 01:32:04,019 that it was banned from every film festival 1399 01:32:04,101 --> 01:32:05,441 in fear of mass hysteria, 1400 01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:07,600 and destroyed seating. 1401 01:32:07,688 --> 01:32:09,898 The next 87 minutes you're about to endure 1402 01:32:09,982 --> 01:32:12,032 a motion picture l've directed called, 1403 01:32:12,109 --> 01:32:13,529 Deathication, 1404 01:32:13,611 --> 01:32:15,451 comes with a very serious warning. 1405 01:32:15,530 --> 01:32:17,410 This film was specifically produced 1406 01:32:17,490 --> 01:32:20,030 to elicit the effect of pure terror on the audience 1407 01:32:20,076 --> 01:32:22,036 to a complete and total sensory immersion 1408 01:32:22,119 --> 01:32:23,699 to the images on screen 1409 01:32:23,788 --> 01:32:26,408 using the latest in cinematic technology. 1410 01:32:26,499 --> 01:32:28,789 The lights of which we can have revealed here 1411 01:32:28,876 --> 01:32:30,836 in fear of government confiscation. 1412 01:32:30,920 --> 01:32:33,960 The following visuals printed on this very film stock 1413 01:32:34,048 --> 01:32:37,258 are proven to cause a highly visceral, biological response 1414 01:32:37,343 --> 01:32:39,393 in the human nervous system in the most, 1415 01:32:39,470 --> 01:32:41,220 hm, nefarious of ways. 1416 01:32:44,308 --> 01:32:45,978 Oh, hello, doctor. 1417 01:32:46,060 --> 01:32:48,600 As you can see from our scientific results, 1418 01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:50,398 this photo realistic rendering 1419 01:32:50,439 --> 01:32:52,069 of one, the human body, 1420 01:32:52,149 --> 01:32:54,149 each and every frame of Deathication 1421 01:32:54,235 --> 01:32:56,485 swiftly attacks the viewer's brainwaves, 1422 01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:59,071 rendering specific motor functions helpless 1423 01:32:59,115 --> 01:33:02,235 to the depravity that unfolds before your very eyes. 1424 01:33:02,285 --> 01:33:04,575 At any moment during the course of this film, 1425 01:33:04,662 --> 01:33:07,082 viewers have been know to suddenly and violently 1426 01:33:07,123 --> 01:33:08,793 release their bowels! 1427 01:33:08,874 --> 01:33:12,174 A collective explosion of hot, moist madness. 1428 01:33:12,253 --> 01:33:15,013 ln other words, what you're about to see 1429 01:33:15,089 --> 01:33:16,839 will make you shit. A lot! 1430 01:33:16,924 --> 01:33:18,804 Buckets of excrement! 1431 01:33:18,884 --> 01:33:20,844 A river of ca ca wiII rage through this theater's 1432 01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:22,468 as one buttery floor. 1433 01:33:22,555 --> 01:33:24,635 You'll crap your slacks for days to come, 1434 01:33:24,724 --> 01:33:27,524 ruin many undergarments become severely dehydrated, 1435 01:33:27,602 --> 01:33:30,942 brave scorn at any social event or family gathering, 1436 01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:33,692 even suffer from a case of inflamed anal tissue 1437 01:33:33,774 --> 01:33:36,364 similar, to the effects of sodomy. 1438 01:33:36,444 --> 01:33:39,034 ln other other words, this film 1439 01:33:39,113 --> 01:33:41,113 will rape you with your own feces. 1440 01:33:41,198 --> 01:33:42,618 And that, my friends, 1441 01:33:42,658 --> 01:33:46,198 is a Fernando Phagabeefy promise. 1442 01:33:46,287 --> 01:33:48,657 With this warning in mind, by staying in this theatre, 1443 01:33:48,748 --> 01:33:50,828 you're releasing any rights and liability 1444 01:33:50,916 --> 01:33:54,036 against the film makers or the owner of this fine establishment 1445 01:33:54,128 --> 01:33:56,088 for any cleaning bills, shattered senses, 1446 01:33:56,172 --> 01:33:58,672 or exploded ovaries. So, for the safety of you, 1447 01:33:58,758 --> 01:34:00,758 those around you and the integrity 1448 01:34:00,843 --> 01:34:02,553 of your swimming trunks area, 1449 01:34:02,637 --> 01:34:05,507 please consider this your final warning. 1450 01:34:05,598 --> 01:34:07,718 Those in the audience who have a weak constitution 1451 01:34:07,808 --> 01:34:09,308 or a giant asshole, 1452 01:34:09,393 --> 01:34:11,393 should leave this theatre immediately! 1453 01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:13,399 Unless you are truly prepared 1454 01:34:13,481 --> 01:34:17,321 to experience the horrific effects of, Deathication. 1455 01:34:17,401 --> 01:34:20,491 Because you can't scream if you're full of shit. [fart sound] 1456 01:34:24,158 --> 01:34:26,158 [disco music] 1457 01:34:26,243 --> 01:34:27,953 [fart] 1458 01:34:28,037 --> 01:34:29,037 [farting] 1459 01:34:29,121 --> 01:34:30,661 [grunting] 1460 01:34:33,834 --> 01:34:37,844 [farting] 1461 01:34:40,007 --> 01:34:41,007 [groaning] 1462 01:34:42,343 --> 01:34:44,183 [farting] 1463 01:34:46,347 --> 01:34:47,677 [grunting] 1464 01:34:51,435 --> 01:34:52,685 [fart] 1465 01:34:55,439 --> 01:34:57,019 [disco music continues] 1466 01:35:10,037 --> 01:35:10,827 [grunting] 1467 01:35:20,005 --> 01:35:21,625 What the hell-- 1468 01:35:21,716 --> 01:35:22,966 [grunting over radio, audio probIems] 1469 01:35:23,050 --> 01:35:24,550 What is that? 1470 01:35:24,593 --> 01:35:26,433 l don't know. That's a first. 1471 01:35:26,512 --> 01:35:28,302 [disco music continues] 1472 01:35:28,389 --> 01:35:30,469 Do you think Mr. K's all right? 1473 01:35:30,558 --> 01:35:32,388 (Tobe) l don't know. l'm kind of worried about him. 1474 01:35:32,476 --> 01:35:34,476 He seemed a bit a mess about the whoIe thing, 1475 01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:35,482 and there was a gun. 1476 01:35:35,563 --> 01:35:37,613 What? A gun? 1477 01:35:37,690 --> 01:35:40,440 Look, l'll explain in a sec. Come on, let's go check him out. 1478 01:35:40,526 --> 01:35:41,566 [shouting] 1479 01:35:41,652 --> 01:35:42,612 [farting] 1480 01:35:42,695 --> 01:35:43,735 [shouting] 1481 01:35:47,450 --> 01:35:48,410 Cecil! 1482 01:35:48,492 --> 01:35:49,742 Oh, my God. 1483 01:35:49,827 --> 01:35:51,577 You kids, get out of here! 1484 01:35:51,662 --> 01:35:53,252 What the hell, man? 1485 01:35:53,330 --> 01:35:54,660 Gun. 1486 01:35:54,749 --> 01:35:56,169 [growling] 1487 01:35:56,250 --> 01:35:57,330 [loud thump] 1488 01:35:57,418 --> 01:35:59,378 Dick, you're fired! 1489 01:35:59,462 --> 01:36:01,002 [gunshot] 1490 01:36:01,088 --> 01:36:03,758 [groaning] Boss! 1491 01:36:03,841 --> 01:36:05,341 [loud thump] 1492 01:36:07,261 --> 01:36:09,761 What? You never saw Robocop? 1493 01:36:09,847 --> 01:36:11,557 What the cripes was that, Mr. K? 1494 01:36:11,640 --> 01:36:14,060 l don't know. He just attacked me from behind. 1495 01:36:14,143 --> 01:36:16,813 Next thing l know, he's trying to pull my pants down. 1496 01:36:16,896 --> 01:36:19,806 l think he was trying to hide the baloney. 1497 01:36:19,899 --> 01:36:23,109 (Mayna) What's that blue stuff on him? 1498 01:36:23,194 --> 01:36:26,784 Wait, wait, wait. l saw that on somebody's shirt downstairs. 1499 01:36:26,822 --> 01:36:29,032 Wait! Did he bite you? He's totally a zzombie. 1500 01:36:29,116 --> 01:36:30,946 No. He came close but no cigar. l'm fine. 1501 01:36:31,035 --> 01:36:32,945 And you? 1502 01:36:33,037 --> 01:36:35,867 Actually, l'm kind of awesome, all things considering. 1503 01:36:35,956 --> 01:36:38,706 (Mr. K.) Well, let's check the [indistinct] 1504 01:36:38,793 --> 01:36:39,833 Look out! 1505 01:36:39,919 --> 01:36:40,839 Tobe! 1506 01:36:40,920 --> 01:36:42,130 [loud thump] 1507 01:36:42,213 --> 01:36:43,963 [on screen audio problems] 1508 01:36:44,006 --> 01:36:45,216 Get him off me! 1509 01:36:45,299 --> 01:36:47,129 [growling] 1510 01:36:47,218 --> 01:36:48,128 [suspenseful music] 1511 01:36:48,219 --> 01:36:49,509 Tobe! 1512 01:36:49,595 --> 01:36:51,465 Shit! He's trying to kiss me! 1513 01:36:59,563 --> 01:37:01,153 Fuck you, Floyd. 1514 01:37:04,401 --> 01:37:06,071 [gunshot] 1515 01:37:06,153 --> 01:37:08,913 Wow. Wow. Wow. 1516 01:37:10,783 --> 01:37:12,663 [gunshot] 1517 01:37:12,743 --> 01:37:13,873 [groaning] 1518 01:37:13,953 --> 01:37:15,083 Wolfman has nards! 1519 01:37:15,162 --> 01:37:17,042 Nice shooting, Tex. 1520 01:37:17,122 --> 01:37:19,212 How'd you know that was the sweet spot? 1521 01:37:19,291 --> 01:37:20,831 (Mayna) Come on, l'm a girl. 1522 01:37:20,876 --> 01:37:22,496 l know where guy's heads are. 1523 01:37:22,545 --> 01:37:24,335 (Tobe) Thanks. 1524 01:37:24,421 --> 01:37:26,301 That's two you owe me, Junior. 1525 01:37:29,510 --> 01:37:30,890 God, l love you. 1526 01:37:30,970 --> 01:37:32,550 l know. 1527 01:37:32,638 --> 01:37:35,008 Will you two clam it 'till the credits? 1528 01:37:35,057 --> 01:37:36,177 What l wanna know 1529 01:37:36,267 --> 01:37:37,727 is what the sweet scent 1530 01:37:37,810 --> 01:37:40,350 of Satan's scrotus is going on here. 1531 01:37:40,437 --> 01:37:42,557 [cheerful music and screaming] 1532 01:37:58,539 --> 01:38:00,289 [wet meat and creaming] 1533 01:38:05,713 --> 01:38:13,853 [shouting] 1534 01:38:23,230 --> 01:38:24,730 What? 1535 01:38:29,403 --> 01:38:32,363 [suspenseful music] 1536 01:38:32,448 --> 01:38:33,778 [growling] 1537 01:38:45,210 --> 01:38:46,630 l'll just lie here. 1538 01:38:46,712 --> 01:38:48,502 lt all should blow over. 1539 01:38:48,589 --> 01:38:50,919 Ah, fuck that! l could leave! 1540 01:38:51,008 --> 01:38:52,588 l got the car, l got the keys! 1541 01:38:52,635 --> 01:38:55,045 Ah, what about the guys? 1542 01:38:55,137 --> 01:38:57,007 Wait. 1543 01:38:57,097 --> 01:39:00,217 Ah, Des! Shit! 1544 01:39:00,309 --> 01:39:02,559 [softly growling] 1545 01:39:05,773 --> 01:39:07,943 [cheerful music over radio continues] 1546 01:39:07,983 --> 01:39:11,533 [grunting] 1547 01:39:22,581 --> 01:39:24,621 [baby crying] 1548 01:39:37,554 --> 01:39:39,104 [wet meat sound] 1549 01:39:43,018 --> 01:39:44,058 [music stops] 1550 01:39:44,144 --> 01:39:47,024 [baby gibberish] 1551 01:39:54,530 --> 01:39:56,410 Yes! Okay. 1552 01:39:56,490 --> 01:39:58,160 Come on, Ryan. 1553 01:39:58,200 --> 01:40:01,040 This is my movie. l'm the final girl. 1554 01:40:01,120 --> 01:40:02,700 Come on! 1555 01:40:02,788 --> 01:40:04,708 [background screaming and growIing] 1556 01:40:04,790 --> 01:40:06,500 Okay. 1557 01:40:06,583 --> 01:40:08,583 One. 1558 01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:11,459 Two. [background screaming] 1559 01:40:11,547 --> 01:40:12,707 [suspenseful music] 1560 01:40:12,798 --> 01:40:14,088 Two and a half. 1561 01:40:14,174 --> 01:40:15,054 Three! 1562 01:40:15,134 --> 01:40:16,684 [grunting] 1563 01:40:16,760 --> 01:40:18,720 [suspenseful music, intensifying] 1564 01:40:20,305 --> 01:40:26,885 [shouting] 1565 01:40:26,979 --> 01:40:28,559 Jesus, Miller. 1566 01:40:33,861 --> 01:40:35,701 Penis brat! 1567 01:40:35,738 --> 01:40:37,568 You gotta be fucking kidding! 1568 01:40:58,594 --> 01:41:00,764 [screaming] 1569 01:41:17,738 --> 01:41:19,448 Swearsies. 1570 01:41:19,531 --> 01:41:21,161 Now what? 1571 01:41:21,241 --> 01:41:24,331 We get back in the car and get the fuck out. 1572 01:41:24,411 --> 01:41:27,161 [growling] 1573 01:41:27,247 --> 01:41:31,417 Plan A sucks. Got any other ideas? 1574 01:41:31,502 --> 01:41:33,252 Follow me. 1575 01:41:33,337 --> 01:41:34,957 [suspenseful music continues] 1576 01:41:43,889 --> 01:41:46,929 Fuck you, fucking zzombies! 1577 01:41:46,975 --> 01:41:48,675 [shouting] Okay. 1578 01:41:48,769 --> 01:41:50,689 l gotta think. l gotta save the day. 1579 01:41:50,771 --> 01:41:52,361 What would, uh, Simon Pegg do? 1580 01:41:52,439 --> 01:41:54,769 That's too British. 1581 01:41:54,858 --> 01:41:56,688 Des, Des, we're gonna get out of this. 1582 01:41:56,777 --> 01:41:59,027 We're gonna be oh-- 1583 01:41:59,113 --> 01:42:00,823 [suspenseful music and wet meat] 1584 01:42:00,906 --> 01:42:02,156 Des? 1585 01:42:02,241 --> 01:42:05,791 [gasping] l want you, Ryan. 1586 01:42:05,869 --> 01:42:07,949 That is so awesome, but, 1587 01:42:08,038 --> 01:42:11,328 this is kind of a no time for love Dr. Jones situation here, so. 1588 01:42:11,416 --> 01:42:13,576 We'll be fine. 1589 01:42:13,669 --> 01:42:16,499 [moaning] Come to me, Ryan. 1590 01:42:16,588 --> 01:42:18,458 But, but you're-- 1591 01:42:18,507 --> 01:42:20,217 ln love? 1592 01:42:20,300 --> 01:42:21,880 No-- 1593 01:42:21,969 --> 01:42:23,469 [moaning] 1594 01:42:23,512 --> 01:42:25,642 Be inside me forever, Ryan. 1595 01:42:25,681 --> 01:42:27,141 l , uh-- 1596 01:42:33,188 --> 01:42:34,438 Fuck it! 1597 01:42:37,818 --> 01:42:39,398 [wet meat sound] 1598 01:42:39,486 --> 01:42:41,146 [groaning] 1599 01:42:45,659 --> 01:42:47,949 [spooky music] 1600 01:42:51,999 --> 01:42:53,959 Phone's dead. 1601 01:42:54,042 --> 01:42:56,422 (Mr. K.) Phones out here too, smart bastards. 1602 01:42:56,503 --> 01:42:58,173 What the hell is going on? 1603 01:42:58,213 --> 01:43:01,053 When there's no more room left in hell, 1604 01:43:01,133 --> 01:43:02,843 "The dead shall fuck the earth." 1605 01:43:02,885 --> 01:43:05,545 Or something like that, it's like, 1606 01:43:05,637 --> 01:43:06,847 with the final reel. 1607 01:43:06,889 --> 01:43:08,099 Final reel. 1608 01:43:08,182 --> 01:43:09,522 What? 1609 01:43:09,600 --> 01:43:11,560 No. l cannot die here tonight. 1610 01:43:13,520 --> 01:43:15,520 You're not gonna die tonight. 1611 01:43:15,606 --> 01:43:16,726 Here. 1612 01:43:16,815 --> 01:43:18,475 Here you go, kid. 1613 01:43:18,567 --> 01:43:19,937 Six rounds wiII give you some courage. 1614 01:43:20,027 --> 01:43:21,277 (Mayna) What about you? 1615 01:43:21,361 --> 01:43:22,821 Don't worry about me. 1616 01:43:22,905 --> 01:43:24,695 Now you came by car tonight, right? 1617 01:43:24,781 --> 01:43:26,911 Yeah, hopefully Ryan stayed in the car. 1618 01:43:26,992 --> 01:43:29,122 He's got the keys. 1619 01:43:29,203 --> 01:43:31,043 Get back to your car, 1620 01:43:31,121 --> 01:43:33,871 lock yourselves in and drive fast. 1621 01:43:33,957 --> 01:43:36,207 What do we tell him? That this in an undead orgy? 1622 01:43:36,293 --> 01:43:37,793 Tell them whatever! 1623 01:43:37,878 --> 01:43:39,798 Tell them to bring the cops, the army, 1624 01:43:39,880 --> 01:43:42,090 the goddamn hazzmat suits. Bring them all! 1625 01:43:42,174 --> 01:43:44,054 Now, you have 1 2 rounds between you. 1626 01:43:44,134 --> 01:43:46,304 Got it. 1627 01:43:46,386 --> 01:43:47,966 (Mayna) Aren't you coming? 1628 01:43:48,055 --> 01:43:51,465 Yeah. Yeah. l'll-- l'll catch up with ya. 1629 01:43:54,895 --> 01:43:56,845 Scoot you two. Good luck. 1630 01:43:56,939 --> 01:43:59,229 And may the schwartzz be with ya. 1631 01:43:59,316 --> 01:44:00,646 You too, Mr. K. 1632 01:44:08,158 --> 01:44:11,788 What was it you said, Orson? 1633 01:44:11,870 --> 01:44:16,370 Nobody who takes on anything big and tough 1634 01:44:16,458 --> 01:44:18,748 can afford to be modest. 1635 01:44:18,835 --> 01:44:20,795 [background shouting and growIing] 1636 01:44:20,879 --> 01:44:23,459 [triumphant music] 1637 01:44:27,928 --> 01:44:30,048 Fuck modesty. 1638 01:44:46,280 --> 01:44:47,200 [suspenseful chord] 1639 01:44:47,281 --> 01:44:48,451 Fuck! 1640 01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:50,072 [soft growling] 1641 01:44:56,123 --> 01:44:57,833 Hey, there, big boy. 1642 01:44:57,916 --> 01:44:59,286 You Iike that? 1643 01:45:01,503 --> 01:45:02,963 ls this what you want? 1644 01:45:03,046 --> 01:45:04,376 (Tobe) Mayna, what the fuck? 1645 01:45:04,464 --> 01:45:07,434 [distorted voice] Happy ending. 1646 01:45:07,509 --> 01:45:10,049 [panting] 1647 01:45:10,137 --> 01:45:11,797 [gunshot] 1648 01:45:11,888 --> 01:45:13,968 [keys clinking] 1649 01:45:14,057 --> 01:45:15,517 Feel important. 1650 01:45:15,600 --> 01:45:17,520 Wait! Smoke screen. 1651 01:45:20,105 --> 01:45:21,725 [groaning] 1652 01:45:21,815 --> 01:45:23,975 (Mayna) Fuck me gently with the chain saw. 1653 01:45:25,402 --> 01:45:26,992 [gunshot] 1654 01:45:27,070 --> 01:45:28,150 [grunting] 1655 01:45:28,238 --> 01:45:29,408 Let's go! 1656 01:45:29,489 --> 01:45:30,489 Okay. Okay. 1657 01:45:30,532 --> 01:45:31,992 Oh, my God! 1658 01:45:37,914 --> 01:45:38,914 Where's the car? 1659 01:45:38,999 --> 01:45:40,249 Right there. 1660 01:45:40,334 --> 01:45:41,674 (Tobe) Yeah. Right there. 1661 01:45:41,710 --> 01:45:42,840 [gunshots] 1662 01:45:42,919 --> 01:45:44,589 (Mayna) Oh, shit. 1663 01:45:44,671 --> 01:45:46,421 [growling] 1664 01:45:46,506 --> 01:45:47,756 Fuck. [gunshot] 1665 01:45:47,841 --> 01:45:49,681 (Tobe) Watch out. 1666 01:45:49,760 --> 01:45:51,300 [Mayna] Your mother sucks cocks in hell. [gunshot] 1667 01:45:53,513 --> 01:45:55,263 [shouting] Tobe! Oh, my gosh! 1668 01:45:55,349 --> 01:45:58,679 [gunshot] 1669 01:45:58,727 --> 01:46:00,767 [panting] Oh, fuck. 1670 01:46:00,854 --> 01:46:02,154 (Mayna) Are you out? 1671 01:46:02,230 --> 01:46:03,730 (Tobe) I've got one. 1672 01:46:03,815 --> 01:46:05,515 [suspenseful music and waIIa] 1673 01:46:05,609 --> 01:46:06,729 l've got two. 1674 01:46:06,818 --> 01:46:08,608 Wait. No. 1675 01:46:08,695 --> 01:46:10,275 l've only got one. Fuck. 1676 01:46:10,364 --> 01:46:12,284 Well, the best we could do is use it on us. 1677 01:46:12,366 --> 01:46:14,406 Before we become zzombies. 1678 01:46:14,493 --> 01:46:17,543 l don't feel like losing my virginity with a goddamn zzombie. 1679 01:46:17,621 --> 01:46:19,461 Wait. You're a virgin? 1680 01:46:19,539 --> 01:46:21,789 Can we talk about this later? Watch it. 1681 01:46:21,875 --> 01:46:24,035 [gunshot] 1682 01:46:24,086 --> 01:46:26,546 l waited for you. 1683 01:46:26,588 --> 01:46:29,548 [soft music] 1684 01:46:33,595 --> 01:46:36,385 Now put the gun on my head and pull the trigger. 1685 01:46:36,431 --> 01:46:38,681 The bullet should take us both out. 1686 01:46:38,767 --> 01:46:40,767 What? ls that the best idea you've got? 1687 01:46:40,852 --> 01:46:43,272 lt's the only thing l can remember from the movies 1688 01:46:43,355 --> 01:46:44,555 that makes any sense-- 1689 01:46:44,606 --> 01:46:46,106 [gunshot] 1690 01:46:46,191 --> 01:46:47,901 [suspenseful music] 1691 01:46:47,943 --> 01:46:49,823 Get your undead dicks 1692 01:46:49,903 --> 01:46:52,493 out of my drive-in! 1693 01:46:52,572 --> 01:46:54,912 [gunshot and shouting] 1694 01:46:54,991 --> 01:46:57,331 Old turkey! 1695 01:46:57,411 --> 01:47:00,501 (Mr. K.) This way, jerk offs! Follow me! 1696 01:47:02,916 --> 01:47:05,916 (Mr. K.) Amscra you two. Get to the chopper. Go. 1697 01:47:11,842 --> 01:47:13,262 (Mayna) Where are the keys? 1698 01:47:13,343 --> 01:47:14,763 l don't know. You have them. 1699 01:47:14,803 --> 01:47:16,143 What? No, l gave them to you. 1700 01:47:16,221 --> 01:47:17,261 l gave them to you! 1701 01:47:17,347 --> 01:47:18,717 Check your pockets. 1702 01:47:18,807 --> 01:47:20,177 l got 'em! 1703 01:47:20,267 --> 01:47:21,767 Behind you! [gunshot] 1704 01:47:24,479 --> 01:47:25,939 ln. ln. ln. Get in! 1705 01:47:26,022 --> 01:47:28,072 Open the door! Unlock it. 1706 01:47:28,150 --> 01:47:29,690 Get in. 1707 01:47:29,776 --> 01:47:30,936 [closing door] 1708 01:47:33,447 --> 01:47:35,777 "Hasta Ia vista, baby ." 1709 01:47:35,866 --> 01:47:38,986 "Frankly, my dear, l don't give a damn". 1710 01:47:39,077 --> 01:47:42,707 "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." [gunshot] 1711 01:47:42,789 --> 01:47:46,379 "Yippie ki yay motherfucker." [gunshot] 1712 01:47:46,460 --> 01:47:49,800 "What we have here is a failure to communicate". [gunshot] 1713 01:47:49,880 --> 01:47:52,130 [gunshots and shouting] 1714 01:47:52,215 --> 01:47:53,915 "Goonies never say die!" 1715 01:47:54,009 --> 01:47:55,799 [triumphant music continues] 1716 01:47:55,886 --> 01:47:59,176 "l'm getting too old for this shit". 1717 01:47:59,264 --> 01:48:01,184 (Mr. K.) This way, perverts! 1718 01:48:01,266 --> 01:48:04,306 Follow the Pied Piper and his sweet asshole! 1719 01:48:04,394 --> 01:48:05,814 [growIing] 1720 01:48:05,854 --> 01:48:07,654 Cinema is dead. 1721 01:48:07,689 --> 01:48:09,439 [thump] 1722 01:48:09,524 --> 01:48:10,654 [wet meat sound] 1723 01:48:10,692 --> 01:48:12,822 Oh! 1724 01:48:12,903 --> 01:48:15,243 "Say hello to my little friend!" 1725 01:48:15,322 --> 01:48:16,362 [gunshot] 1726 01:48:21,119 --> 01:48:24,909 [indistinct] a better contender! 1727 01:48:24,998 --> 01:48:28,578 "Rosebud, motherfucker"! 1728 01:48:30,045 --> 01:48:31,705 Oh, God. 1729 01:48:31,796 --> 01:48:33,336 l think that was uncle Cecil's curtain call. 1730 01:48:33,423 --> 01:48:35,263 Well, that's a way to find out. Huh? 1731 01:48:35,342 --> 01:48:36,512 Keys to ignition. Go! 1732 01:48:36,551 --> 01:48:38,471 (Tobe) Okay. 1733 01:48:38,553 --> 01:48:40,603 [engine cranks but can't start] No, no, no. 1734 01:48:40,680 --> 01:48:43,020 Come on. This isn't supposed to happen. 1735 01:48:43,058 --> 01:48:45,348 We're supposed to survive. Fuck. 1736 01:48:45,435 --> 01:48:48,805 This is it. 1737 01:48:48,897 --> 01:48:50,857 Wait! You still have the-- 1738 01:48:52,359 --> 01:48:54,069 Fresh out. [cocks gun] 1739 01:48:54,152 --> 01:48:55,742 Damn it! 1740 01:48:55,820 --> 01:48:58,360 What do we do now? 1741 01:48:58,448 --> 01:49:01,368 (Mayna) Well, we can just sit here 1742 01:49:01,409 --> 01:49:04,249 and wait for them to turn us into human sex toys. 1743 01:49:04,329 --> 01:49:07,579 Okay. Already not digging doing number one. 1744 01:49:07,666 --> 01:49:11,586 Or, 1745 01:49:19,135 --> 01:49:24,765 We spend the last night of our lives together 1746 01:49:24,849 --> 01:49:28,729 and give these fuckers one hell of a show. 1747 01:49:28,770 --> 01:49:33,230 l have to admit that's one hell of a plan. 1748 01:49:33,316 --> 01:49:36,276 Let's do it. Wait. 1749 01:49:36,361 --> 01:49:39,201 [soft music] 1750 01:49:40,907 --> 01:49:43,277 Funny. Did you ever think 1751 01:49:43,368 --> 01:49:46,328 this would be the moment you became a man? 1752 01:49:46,413 --> 01:49:49,583 Actually, it was during an alien invasion 1753 01:49:49,666 --> 01:49:52,166 but it really doesn't matter what the scenario. 1754 01:49:52,252 --> 01:49:54,592 Why's that? 1755 01:49:54,629 --> 01:49:57,589 Because l always knew it would be with you. 1756 01:50:00,176 --> 01:50:03,596 You are so cool. 1757 01:50:03,638 --> 01:50:05,928 True romance. 1758 01:50:15,942 --> 01:50:16,982 Wait. Wait. 1759 01:50:17,068 --> 01:50:18,148 What? What? 1760 01:50:18,236 --> 01:50:20,946 Do you have a condom? 1761 01:50:20,989 --> 01:50:22,199 Really? 1762 01:50:22,282 --> 01:50:24,412 [chuckling] l'm kidding. 1763 01:50:30,290 --> 01:50:32,460 [zzombies thumping and groaning] 1764 01:50:37,422 --> 01:50:39,882 [suspenseful music and gIass shattering] 1765 01:50:48,808 --> 01:50:50,888 [cheering] 1766 01:50:59,527 --> 01:51:01,817 Fantastic! Now that's an ending. 1767 01:51:01,905 --> 01:51:03,065 Fuck Hollywood! 1768 01:51:03,156 --> 01:51:04,736 Really? Boring. 1769 01:51:04,824 --> 01:51:05,874 Boring? 1770 01:51:05,950 --> 01:51:07,410 Not enough tits. 1771 01:51:07,494 --> 01:51:09,754 Actually, it was kinda bittersweet. 1772 01:51:09,829 --> 01:51:12,159 You know? Like the ending of E.T. 1773 01:51:12,248 --> 01:51:14,378 Why does everything gotta be E.T. with you? 1774 01:51:14,459 --> 01:51:15,579 Come on. Let's go. 1775 01:51:15,669 --> 01:51:17,249 E.T.'s gay. 1776 01:51:18,630 --> 01:51:20,510 How-- He's a plant. 1777 01:51:20,590 --> 01:51:23,010 He can't be gay. He's a pla-- He's a plant. 1778 01:51:23,093 --> 01:51:25,053 Would you be gay if you were a plant? 1779 01:51:25,136 --> 01:51:27,426 [IiveIy music] 1780 01:51:43,029 --> 01:51:44,149 [screaming] 1781 01:51:59,671 --> 01:52:01,881 [hard rock music] 1782 01:52:12,559 --> 01:52:14,729 lt is a biological anomaly 1783 01:52:14,811 --> 01:52:18,151 the likes of which the medical community has never seen. 1784 01:52:18,231 --> 01:52:20,441 Miles' unique body chemistry 1785 01:52:20,525 --> 01:52:22,895 clashed with the Plutoneide and the Spermupermine 1786 01:52:22,944 --> 01:52:25,704 mutating his spermatozzoa during spermatogenesis 1787 01:52:25,780 --> 01:52:28,070 in a way that no one could've expected. 1788 01:52:28,158 --> 01:52:29,948 Spermatium are by their very nature 1789 01:52:30,034 --> 01:52:32,414 a very determined and resilient organism 1790 01:52:32,454 --> 01:52:35,084 genetically programmed to overcome all obstacles 1791 01:52:35,165 --> 01:52:37,245 defy all odds and hit the target. 1792 01:52:37,333 --> 01:52:39,673 or die trying. 1793 01:52:39,753 --> 01:52:41,003 Perhaps-- 1794 01:52:41,087 --> 01:52:43,087 You can view this disaster 1795 01:52:43,131 --> 01:52:45,801 as a kind of cautionary tale 1796 01:52:45,884 --> 01:52:48,594 against the misuse of a yet to be fully understood 1797 01:52:48,636 --> 01:52:50,926 era in atomic energy. 1798 01:52:51,014 --> 01:52:53,434 God help us all. 1799 01:53:01,691 --> 01:53:04,441 [soft cheerful song] 1800 01:54:41,791 --> 01:54:44,331 [soft music] 1801 01:56:33,069 --> 01:56:37,029 [pop song] 1802 01:59:45,553 --> 01:59:46,683 Ba-bye. 113320

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