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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,535
(door opens, closes)
2
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,042
Derwin, what are
you doing in here?
3
00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:08,514
You know I'm
trying to study.
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,642
Melanie, ain't nobody thinking
about you-- do your work.
5
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,208
I'll just grab something out
of the bathroom real quick.
6
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,377
Sorry.
7
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,515
Didn't mean to jump
down your throat.
8
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:17,590
(sighs)
9
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,248
Yeah, baby,
you know, it's cool.
10
00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:23,217
Baby, it's just
I can't have any distractions.
11
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,425
Well, um...
12
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,600
is there anything
I could do to help?
13
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,259
Thanks, but...
14
00:00:30,298 --> 00:00:31,668
(laughs)
15
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,369
-Derwin?
-Yes?
16
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,371
How am I supposed
to stay focused
17
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:36,703
with you flaunting
your junk all around?
18
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:37,937
Huh?
19
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:41,411
What happened to supporting me
in my scholastic endeavors?
20
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,242
But I'm bored, Boo.
21
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,577
It's the off-season--
I got nothing to do.
22
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:46,783
I-I need some structure.
23
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:49,154
Okay, well, then
go work out.
24
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,293
I already did.
Can't you tell?
25
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,349
-(grunting)
-All right, Derwin,
26
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,087
Derwin, out, out.
27
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,523
-Mel...
-I have to study.
28
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,457
ANNOUNCER VOICE:
Alexander with the carry.
29
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,733
No gain.
30
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,601
(smacks through teeth)
31
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:03,860
(sighs)
32
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,167
(video game turns off)
33
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,940
(phone rings)
34
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,705
(ringing continues)
35
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,506
-(ringing continues)
-(sighs)
36
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,318
(ringing stops)
37
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,819
(brief electronic melody plays)
38
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,506
(electronic melody plays)
39
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:51,747
(chuckles)
40
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,849
(chuckling):
Cooties.
41
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,467
Morning, babe.
42
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,472
-Hey.
-Where's Brittany?
43
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:17,744
She traded up.
44
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:21,481
It was all me till Kimmy
called with promises
45
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,379
of cupcakes
and dress-up dollies.
46
00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:26,751
Kimmy's a little bitch.
47
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,280
(laughing):
Come on, now.
48
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,776
You can't get your feelings hurt
49
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,747
every time your baby wants
to hang out with her friends.
50
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,316
I think
we need a new one.
51
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,455
A new friend for Brittany?
52
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,389
Nope, a new baby.
53
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,625
Since when?
54
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,659
I've been thinking about it,
for a while.
55
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,564
I mean, Brittany's great
and everything, it's just...
56
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,397
I don't know--
she's started wearing dresses,
57
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:46,933
she doesn't like
playing ball anymore,
58
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,367
she stopped laughing
at my fart jokes--
59
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:50,943
she's turning into a girl.
60
00:02:50,971 --> 00:02:52,411
So?
61
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,510
So wouldn't it be great
to have a boy?
62
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,512
Then we'd have
a matching set.
63
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,714
Look, I know,
64
00:02:57,745 --> 00:02:59,705
I know, I was
the one who said
65
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,317
we couldn't afford
another kid, but...
66
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:02,919
come on,
don't you miss a...
67
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,790
warm body sleeping
between us?
68
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,688
Ooh, us seeing
that first smile,
69
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,290
watch them take
that first step?
70
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,292
And cleaning up
that exploding diarrhea.
71
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,694
No, I don't
remember that.
72
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,826
Driving around all afternoon
just so she'd take a nap?
73
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,303
Mm... no, nothing.
74
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,732
Huh.
75
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,437
Maybe you don't remember that
because you weren't there.
76
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:23,700
I know, I know.
77
00:03:23,737 --> 00:03:26,467
But hey, hey,
I did get you that economy car
78
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,907
with the good gas mileage.
79
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,911
Plus, things are
different now.
80
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,713
Back then I was all stressed out
81
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,505
about securing my place
on the team.
82
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,317
Now I could pitch
in a little more...
83
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,590
if it's a boy.
84
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,989
Well... you know what they say
you're supposed to do
85
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,932
-if you want a boy.
-Mmm.
86
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,358
Mmm.
87
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,434
Let's go upstairs
and you can show me.
88
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,662
-(phone ringing)
-Rook!
89
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,797
You're blowing up again, boy.
90
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,431
Turn this damn thing off.
91
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:53,966
Yo, toss it to me.
92
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,741
(ringing continues)
93
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,739
Please?
94
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,740
Okay, pretty please?
95
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,710
(ringing continues)
96
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,045
Drew Sidora?
97
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,479
Is this my
Drew Sidora?
98
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,946
Oh-ho-ho, rookie.
99
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,053
-I thought that was over.
-Over?
100
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,485
When did it start?
101
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:16,021
Yo, yo, yo, there is nothing
going on, all right?
102
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:17,725
She's on the road,
so we text each other
103
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,757
once in a while--
no big deal.
104
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,633
A joke here,
a recipe there.
105
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,731
(mockingly):
Joke here, recipe there.
106
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,704
What the hell is
going on, boy?
107
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:26,803
Nothing, Malik, damn.
108
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:27,804
Does your girl know?
109
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,695
There is nothing to know.
110
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:32,737
Oh, oh, why, 'cause she's not
a foodie like you and Drew?
111
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,083
Now you're doing foodie
calls with my girl, too?
112
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:39,448
Okay, Malik,
Drew does not like you.
113
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,580
And she only likes me
as a friend.
114
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,515
And the only reason
why Melanie doesn't know
115
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,521
is because I couldn't
get her all worked up
116
00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:47,763
over something that's
not even a thing, you dig?
117
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,688
-(phone ringing)
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, we dig.
118
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,063
But, uh, that sound
you're hearing, that's the fuse
119
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,932
to the bomb that's gonna blow up
in your face.
120
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,102
(ringing continues)
121
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,330
I hope you realize
what a great space this is
122
00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:02,898
and how lucky you'd be
to hang your shingle...
123
00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:05,636
All right, save the phony
sales pitch for the rubes.
124
00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:07,713
-Let's get to the price.
-Six a month.
125
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:08,781
I'll give you five.
126
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:09,779
Six is the price.
127
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,480
Take it...
or leave it, honey.
128
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:14,821
Did you...
129
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,678
Did he just "honey" me?
130
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:19,617
-Yes, he did.
-Uh! Uh-uh, okay, you know what?
131
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,093
I'm gonna leave it, okay?
132
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,761
And you can slither
back to your boss
133
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,430
and tell him
there's no sale.
134
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,088
Even though I know
your boss know--
135
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,556
hell, your dog
even know--
136
00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:29,055
that at that price,
this place is gonna stay empty
137
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,126
for at least
another three months.
138
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,874
Come on, Kelly.
139
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,504
Fine.
140
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,944
(sighs)
141
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,541
-Five it is.
-(clucks tongue)
142
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,984
Sorry I had to bring
the dog into it.
143
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:46,380
This isn't my dog,
it's my wife's.
144
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,494
(suppressed
laughing)
145
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:54,419
I'll go do
the paperwork.
146
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,889
(squealing)
147
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,534
Wow, that was
so cool!
148
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,529
Watching you nail
him to the wall.
149
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,061
You're awesome!
150
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,155
I know, I know.
151
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,126
But I don't have time
to celebrate.
152
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,435
Girl, I need furniture,
phone lines,
153
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,568
an assistant, some snacks...
154
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:10,643
Hire me.
155
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,071
As what, my senior VP
of "Never Had a Real Job"?
156
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,036
(laughs)
157
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:16,709
Girl, please.
158
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:17,714
Wait, and I thought
you were trying
159
00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,645
to have a second child
so you could show off
160
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,150
another baby with
the same last name and whatnot.
161
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,753
Why can't I do both?
162
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:27,015
I can have a fancy
business suit, a briefcase,
163
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,524
one of those baby backpacks.
164
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:31,486
I can have it all,
just like Kelly Ripa.
165
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:32,625
Mm, let you tell it.
166
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:33,630
(laughs)
167
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:34,931
Look, I'm sorry, Kelly,
168
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:37,772
this may not be
politically correct to say,
169
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,768
but, honey, nobody wants
to hire a pregnant woman.
170
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,641
'Cause I'll tell you now,
Tasha Mack Management
171
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,040
only gives five sick days
a year.
172
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,771
And you could spend
most of that time
173
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,436
with your morning sickness and
all, but what you gonna do when
174
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,836
-you need a few days
on top of that? -I...
175
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:51,477
Nothing.
176
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,676
'Cause I will fire you.
177
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:55,945
That's not fair.
178
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:58,123
You worked when you were
pregnant with Malik.
179
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,721
I know, and now I understand
why I kept getting fired.
180
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,055
Just give me a chance.
181
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,460
You're the one that's been
telling me all season
182
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:06,863
that I need to
be independent.
183
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:09,064
And now Jason's telling me
he wants another baby.
184
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,596
If I could just do both, I
could make everybody happy.
185
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,203
Well, what's gonna
make you happy, Kelly Pitts?
186
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,565
Calorie-free Chardonnay?
187
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:19,635
You're avoiding.
188
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,683
Come on, answer the question.
189
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:23,909
Just... okay,
give me a minute.
190
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:24,914
(grunts sharply)
191
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,205
You don't know what you want?
192
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,616
I know!
193
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,648
You know what Tasha Mack thinks?
194
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,623
Tasha Mack thinks you're
not ready for another baby.
195
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,522
Hmm?
196
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,757
-Jason?
-Hey, Kel!
197
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,665
Come here. What do you think?
What do you think?
198
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:47,798
If it's a boy,
Jerry Rice Pitts.
199
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:51,095
If it's twins, Jerry
and Gerry Rice Pitts--
200
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,538
ah-- one with a "J,"
the other with a "G."
201
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,775
-I like both of those...
-Okay.
202
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,910
...when we eventually
have a baby.
203
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,846
What do you mean,
eventually?
204
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,921
I got a job!
205
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:06,920
I am officially the executive
assistant to Tasha Mack
206
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,864
of Tasha Mack Management.
207
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,560
(laughs)
208
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:15,898
You got a job.
209
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,669
What the hell's going on?
210
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,728
I thought we were gonna
have another baby.
211
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,967
We can, right after I climb
the corporate ladder.
212
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,272
Shouldn't take long--
there's only two of us there.
213
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,684
God, just seeing Tasha
do her thing today
214
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,738
inspired me to want
to try something new.
215
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:30,877
Plus, Tasha always said
216
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,751
making my own money would
be great for my self-esteem.
217
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,750
She also said that taking
risks is the spice of life.
218
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,754
And I have been a
bit bland lately.
219
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,315
-Then she reminded me that...
-What, that
220
00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:42,162
she couldn't get a man
till she was 40?
221
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,658
Where the hell does she get off
222
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:44,961
telling you not to have
another baby?
223
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:46,032
No.
224
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,799
Deciding not to have a
baby right now was all me.
225
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,859
I just really
want to try this,
226
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,798
so please, don't fight
with me about it.
227
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,744
Okay, fine.
228
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,769
I am not gonna
fight with you.
229
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,636
-This is your problem.
-You better back the hell up.
230
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,684
-This is your problem. -You
better back the hell up, okay?
231
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,110
Okay? 'Cause your
problem is with Kelly.
232
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,914
Me and Kelly were fine
233
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,716
till you stuck your ghetto ass
in our business.
234
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,078
You know what, I'm glad
you know where I'm from.
235
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:13,247
-So you know I will bust you
in your throat! -Oh...
236
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,756
Oh, you're awfully brave
237
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,018
with that new fighting
Indian hair in your weave.
238
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,687
-Okay.
-But I'm warning you,
239
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,356
you stay out of
my business, Cochise!
240
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,903
I'm not in
your business.
241
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:23,729
Have you lost
your damn mind, boy?
242
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,804
Coming up in my house,
hollering at my ma?
243
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,603
Don't get yourself
popped, fool.
244
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,635
Whatever.
Just tell your mother,
245
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,240
stay out of my bedroom.
246
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,371
Negro, you might not see
the inside of your bedroom
247
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,836
if you don't get your bobblehead
ass out of my house.
248
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,176
Malik, if you just...
249
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,380
-(overlapping arguing)
-What, what, what?
250
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,682
-Get your hand down.
-Hey, yo!
251
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:42,675
What, what?
252
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,646
-What?
-What?!
253
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,885
-You know fat meat is greasy!
-Hmm.
254
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,227
(door opens)
255
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,959
-(door closes)
-And you.
256
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:56,104
What the hell you doing
in that man's bedroom, Ma?
257
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:59,099
He thinks I got something to do
with Kelly not wanting to have
258
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,642
another one of his Mardi-Gras-
puppet-headed babies!
259
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,169
-And why does he think that?
-I don't know.
260
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,974
'Cause he crazy.
261
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,376
And I gave her a job.
262
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:12,848
And maybe some advice
about not having a baby.
263
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,854
What?
264
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,123
I knew this was gonna happen.
265
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,690
What?
266
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,849
You caught feelings
for Kelly, didn't you?
267
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,658
-No.
-Ma, you joined the Sunbeams
268
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,260
to help keep track of what's
going on with everybody,
269
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,762
their business
deals and such,
270
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:29,734
not to be gabbing it up
making new girlfriends.
271
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,703
Okay, okay, Malik,
you smoked me out.
272
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,673
She's my friend.
273
00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,742
But I didn't mean
for it to happen.
274
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,310
I mean, she's like
a little puppy...
275
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,268
nipping at your heels.
276
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,336
If you don't put it down
in the first few days,
277
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,375
you end up loving it.
278
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,751
(chuckles)
279
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,819
I know, but you got
to cut her loose.
280
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,178
Yes.
281
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,876
I can't have beef
with my main receiver
282
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,288
over some stuff
like this, Ma.
283
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,149
All right?
284
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,056
Now, you know this
can affect our play.
285
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,028
And nothing is more
important than us winning.
286
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,428
You're right.
287
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,260
I'm sorry.
288
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:03,295
(chuckles)
289
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,730
I'll can her ass
tomorrow.
290
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,767
(sighs)
291
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:14,113
Remind Kelly...
to buy pink slips.
292
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,783
-(door opens)
-Be strong, Tasha Mack.
293
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,152
Emotional walls,
294
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:23,450
girl, emotional walls.
295
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:26,752
You're late.
296
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:30,385
You said be here at 9:00.
297
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,263
It's 9:00.
298
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,802
Kelly, in the corporate world,
if you're early, you're on time.
299
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,199
If you're on time, you're late.
300
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,770
And if you're late,
don't even bother showing up.
301
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,201
Technically, I'm early,
302
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,965
because I stopped
at the stationery store
303
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,474
to pick up office supplies.
304
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,475
I don't need your excuses.
305
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:51,878
Now, it's a poor carpenter
who blames his tools.
306
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,812
Wow, I guess
you won't be needing
307
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,847
this business phrase book
I bought you.
308
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,220
I'll go make coffee.
309
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,862
Uh-uh-uh!
310
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,929
I know you are not wearing
tennis shoes in here.
311
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:07,288
I specifically laid out
the dress code.
312
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,757
And I specifically
followed it.
313
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:12,127
These are my in-the-office shoes
314
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,835
and these...
are my happy-hour shoes.
315
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,398
You know, in case we
seal a deal or something.
316
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:23,313
Kelly, I-I really
don't think
317
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:25,113
you've taken this
job seriously.
318
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,845
I mean, maybe you'd
be more comfortable
319
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,250
working at a shoe store.
320
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,851
Or a cocktail lounge.
321
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,254
Tasha, what's going on?
322
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,185
Are you in the middle
of a hormone surge?
323
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,191
Because they have these patches
that are great...
324
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,533
Are you in the middle
of a blonde blip?
325
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,258
Don't talk to your boss
like that.
326
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,303
I'm sorry.
327
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,329
I guess I'm just having
first-day jitters.
328
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,429
This is my first
professional job.
329
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,567
I mean, I was
a professional cheerleader,
330
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,343
but that doesn't get you the
respect that you might think.
331
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:56,542
So I am so happy
332
00:12:56,576 --> 00:13:00,376
that a powerful, inspirational
businesswoman like you
333
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,283
saw something in me
worth taking a chance on.
334
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:06,246
And nothing is going to stop me
from proving you right.
335
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:09,856
Not the butterflies in my belly,
not your raging hormones,
336
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:10,990
not the fact
that I'm white
337
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,364
and you hate white people.
338
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,561
Nothing.
339
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,995
Okay?
340
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,131
Kelly, hey.
341
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,497
Ephraim!
342
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,304
Oh, good, you found us.
343
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,266
You gave me perfect
directions.
344
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,365
How's Reneece?
345
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,406
She's good.
346
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,540
Spending all my
money, though.
347
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:31,905
Well, here's the woman who's
going to help you make more.
348
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,975
Tasha Mack,
Ephraim Salaam of...
349
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,284
Houston Texans.
350
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,445
I like that.
351
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,383
I know who you are.
352
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,447
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you, too.
353
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,186
Uh, Kelly, can you show him
into my office?
354
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,622
-I'll be just a minute.
-Yeah.
355
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,556
I ordered you a soy
mocha half caff latte.
356
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,263
I'm liking this place already.
357
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:56,244
(line ringing)
358
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,239
MALIK:
Yeah, Ma.
359
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,410
Hey, Malik.
360
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,008
What up, Ma?
361
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:04,340
Look, Operation Fire White Girl
is dead.
362
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,477
What?!
363
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,322
Ma... I already told Jason
the situation was handled.
364
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,518
Look, I don't care
what you told him.
365
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,220
I'm a strong,
inspirational woman.
366
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:16,593
I'm not going to be a part
of keeping another woman down.
367
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,363
Wha... so... what does that have
to do with anything, Ma?
368
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:20,632
(groans loudly)
369
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,460
(Kelly clears throat)
370
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,425
I talked you up to him.
371
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:27,032
Knock him dead.
372
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,937
Thank you.
373
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,969
You're doing a great job, Kelly.
374
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,244
Keep up the good work.
375
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,143
Since I'm doing so great,
376
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:38,505
maybe we could talk
about my benefits package.
377
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,045
Way ahead of you.
378
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,021
Hmm?
379
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,687
You're giving me a company car?
380
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,259
Better.
381
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:51,089
Key to the bathroom.
382
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,094
Hmm?
383
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,125
Hmm?
384
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:54,630
Live it up, girl.
385
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,663
Ephraim.
386
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,306
All right, I hear you.
387
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,538
Well, have Ms. Sidora call
when hell unfreezes, okay?
388
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,143
Thanks.
389
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,078
Damn!
390
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,483
Plan "B."
391
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,484
Women love poetry.
392
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,316
Let's send her a text.
393
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,263
"My delicious 'D.'
394
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,664
"Where is the love, girl?
395
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:29,633
"You know you want a taste of
this brown chocolate truffle.
396
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,732
"And in case
you didn't know,
397
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,534
"truffles is hella expensive.
398
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:35,997
"So you better hurry up,
399
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,566
"girl, 'cause I'm
like a bottle of Dom
400
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,344
"that's been left open.
401
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:42,112
"You don't want me to go flat.
402
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,280
Star QB, out."
403
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,252
Send it.
404
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,179
Ain't no way she gonna
ice me on this one.
405
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,345
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's
practically Shakespeare.
406
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,353
Exactly.
407
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,515
That's what I'm saying.
408
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:54,653
She know she want me, man.
409
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,617
I don't know why
she playing hard to get.
410
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,086
-(electronic melody)
-Oh, here.
411
00:15:58,125 --> 00:15:59,225
She hit you right back.
412
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,459
That's what I thought.
413
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,204
"Save your thumbs.
414
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:04,330
"I'm not interested
in your lies.
415
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,734
I'm occupied with
a real man."
416
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,666
(laughing)
417
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,771
Wow, that's chilly, man.
418
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,513
Drew, Drew, Drew,
baby girl,
419
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:16,110
you obviously know nothing
about horror movies.
420
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,613
This guy is not the killer.
421
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,684
It's never this guy.
422
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:20,752
Okay.
423
00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:23,420
Well, if you hate blood,
you better close your eyes
424
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,620
'cause here comes the chainsaw!
425
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:28,092
-(buzzing on TV)
-Hey, Boo.
426
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:31,361
-(screaming on TV)
-Hey, let me call you back.
427
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:32,491
What's up, Boo?
428
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:33,585
Hi.
429
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,296
Oh, baby, you didn't
have to hang up.
430
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,428
I could have brought that in.
431
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,633
Oh, it's okay, it
was just Jason.
432
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,225
Again?
433
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,537
Yeah, apparently he's real
needy in the off-season.
434
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,640
Hmm.
435
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,671
(cell phone trills)
436
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,105
Oh, you're getting a text.
437
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:51,510
(amplified heartbeat)
438
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,715
No...!
439
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,521
Thanks, babe.
440
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,656
Don't you even want
to know who it is?
441
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,102
The only person
I want to talk to
442
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,457
is right here
in front of me.
443
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,696
Oh, baby.
444
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:14,371
You're so sweet.
445
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:21,036
Oh, babe... that smells so good.
446
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,339
You are so sweet
447
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,607
to know that I would not feel
like cooking tonight.
448
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,676
Thought it might
cushion the blow a bit.
449
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,076
Yeah, today was tough.
450
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,118
God, having a job
451
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:35,092
works a whole different
muscle group than Pilates.
452
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,392
Yeah, well, it's
all behind you now.
453
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,334
Yeah, until tomorrow.
454
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,559
You wouldn't believe
our work schedule.
455
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,603
Whoa, wait, whoa,
tomorrow, what?
456
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,159
I thought today
was your last day.
457
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,567
Why would you think that?
458
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:49,438
'Cause Malik promised me
Tasha would fire you.
459
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,699
Fire me?
460
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,338
Unbelievable.
461
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,314
So I stand up to you,
462
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:59,753
and you go behind my back
and try to sabotage me?
463
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:01,709
That really sucks, Jason.
464
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,178
No, what sucks is that
since she didn't fire you,
465
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,447
now you have to quit.
466
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,545
Which means you can't
collect unemployment.
467
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,587
I'm not quitting.
468
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,434
I'm a great
assistant.
469
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,301
And for the first time
in my life,
470
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,499
I wasn't Mrs. Pitts or Mommy,
471
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:21,171
I was
Kelly-Get-Your-Ass-In-Here.
472
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,871
And it felt good.
473
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:25,773
Kel, what the hell is going on?
474
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,705
A year ago, you would've
jumped at the chance
475
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:28,580
to have another baby.
476
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,608
Yeah, and a month
ago, you promised me
477
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,453
that you would stop
trying to control me.
478
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,179
You said you were
going to change.
479
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,754
I have... I have.
I've changed.
480
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,752
I've been more open, been
more honest, more supportive.
481
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:40,224
I'm wearing a damn apron.
482
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,893
I've been all that crap
you wanted me to be.
483
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:46,532
Until now,
Backstabby McStabberton.
484
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,529
Yeah, 'cause now
you're changing, baby.
485
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,501
You know I don't
like change...
486
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,660
except loose change.
487
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,328
You know when you're
stepping off the curb
488
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,196
and you think it might
be a gum wrapper,
489
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,495
but, oh, it's a dime.
490
00:18:56,536 --> 00:19:00,236
That's, uh... yeah,
that's a good day.
491
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,843
-Jason.
-Hmm?
492
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,314
-Come back.
-I'm sorry.
493
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,183
I was... I'm sorry.
494
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:07,382
Listen, I know it's scary
495
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,884
when you think that someone
you love is changing.
496
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:12,546
But remember the first time
you tried Kobe beef?
497
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:13,785
You loved it.
498
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:17,520
But did that stop you from going
back to day-old rump roast?
499
00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:18,457
No.
500
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:23,261
Because a part of you
will always be cheap.
501
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:26,666
Just like I will always be
the Kelly that you married.
502
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:31,499
And nothing and no one
is going to stop me
503
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:35,678
from having another one of your
Mardi-Gras-puppet-head babies.
504
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,210
But right now,
505
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:42,646
I need to find out
who Kelly Pitts is
506
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,292
outside of this house.
507
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:48,794
All right, fine.
508
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,361
If that's what you
need to do, I...
509
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,691
I won't try and
stop you again.
510
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,400
-Thank you.
-All right.
511
00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:01,604
But you got to promise me
the minute you get this
512
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,304
independent woman thing
out of your system,
513
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,806
we're gonna have another
baby-- maybe two.
514
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,568
-I promise.
-All right.
515
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:09,941
I don't want you
bringing any
516
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:13,446
of Tasha's black sass
home with you, either.
517
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,420
Maybe in the bedroom,
but that's it.
518
00:20:15,470 --> 00:20:20,020
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