All language subtitles for Momma Named Me Sheriff s02e07 Election.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,871 --> 00:00:03,441 Mr. President, they're ready for you. 2 00:00:03,481 --> 00:00:06,351 Uh, Dear, I've figured out a way to balance the national budget 3 00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,047 and end world hunger. 4 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,655 These are great. 5 00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:10,915 Honk Honk! [ Laughs ] 6 00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,137 Now, move along. 7 00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:15,186 I have man-business to attend to. 8 00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:17,412 Computerized Voice: Man detected. 9 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:20,022 We found what you were looking for, Mr. President. 10 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:23,073 Good, because the fate of our country depends on it. 11 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,330 Now, here's what I want you to do -- 12 00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:25,592 [ Beeping ] 13 00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,034 Hello? 14 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,590 Sheriff: Hey, Prez, I got a situation. 15 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,547 So, I want to eat this sandwich, right, 16 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:33,725 but also save some for later. What should I do? 17 00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,732 Ugh. Just cut it in half! 18 00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:38,694 You heard him, boys. Cut it in half. 19 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,914 Wait. No! 20 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,524 Man: ♪ Run around town 21 00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:47,526 ♪ Stealin' and killin' is how I get down ♪Sheriff: What? 22 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,569 ♪ Well, you better be aware of somethin' ♪ 23 00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,364 ♪ 'Cause Momma named me Sheriff ♪ 24 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,710 ♪ Momma ♪ Now you got it 25 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,801 ♪ Momma ♪ And don't forget it 26 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,190 Oh, no. I'd better go. [ Laughs ] 27 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,894 ♪ M-O-M-M-A named me 28 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,192 ♪ Momma named me Sheriff 29 00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:06,018 ♪ My momma named me Sheriff ♪ 30 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:11,290 See? I told you he'd eat the other half. 31 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,552 Yo! Why y'all just sittin' around? 32 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,415 It's time to get Sheriff re-elected. 33 00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:17,466 What? I love election day! 34 00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:20,472 Oh, I don't care for all that political mumbo-jumbo. 35 00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,905 Too much taking sides. Hmph. 36 00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:27,002 No need to take sides. Nobody ever runs against me. 37 00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:28,743 Really? Never? 38 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:31,134 Nope. It's not like there's anybody better for the job. 39 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,658 Say, Dispatch. Yeah? 40 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,401 You want to be my hype man for my victory speech? 41 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:36,623 For real? 42 00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:38,621 Yeah, give it up for my boy, Sheriff! 43 00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:40,583 Hey! I've been everywhereiff! 44 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,232 Yeah-yeah. 45 00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:45,976 And as Sheriff, if I find out you had a cool party, 46 00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:48,848 and didn't invite me, I will shoot you in the face! 47 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:50,411 Yeaaah! Blup, blup, blup! 48 00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,588 That means you, Tommy! 49 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:53,854 [ Crowd gasps ] 50 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,586 Oh, I'm just joking, folks. 51 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:59,287 But as Sheriff, I promise to just keep doing my usual... 52 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,946 Usual!...catching crimers 53 00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:02,430 Crimers!...eating chips... 54 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:03,950 -Chips. -...and making people laugh. 55 00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,343 [ Laughs ] Yo! 56 00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,654 So, I won't change a thing. 57 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,134 Nothing!Why would I? 58 00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,964 I mean, no man will run against me, so... 59 00:02:14,003 --> 00:02:16,533 Well, what about a woman? 60 00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,271 Huh.Oh! Shots fired! 61 00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,882 Uh, honey, what are you doing? 62 00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:22,362 A woman sheriff? That's kind of funny. 63 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:26,193 Really? Are you saying sexism is funny? 64 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,373 What? No! No, I wasn't saying -- I didn't -- 65 00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,629 Uh... what is the question? 66 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:33,152 Womens can be Sheriffs just as good as mans! 67 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,546 Boo that Sheriff! 68 00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,289 [ All booing ] 69 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:40,640 But Sheriff is my name, so, I get to be Sheriff forever. 70 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,162 Right? -No. 71 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:45,895 'Cause now, I'm running for sheriff. 72 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:49,338 I propose that Sheriff and I have a debate. 73 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:52,036 Tonight. Six O'clock, sharp. 74 00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:53,654 Oh, man. 75 00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:56,475 Looks like we've got a lot of work to do, Goodman. 76 00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:59,704 Goodman? -I think he's pretending to be dead, yo. 77 00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:02,664 "Mrs. Goodman for She-riff"? 78 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:05,844 Hey, why are all y'all wearing Mrs. Goodman's shirts, huh? 79 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:08,101 Oh, I love women, Sheriff -- 80 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:12,064 in a non-sexual, only respectful of our equals kind of way. 81 00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:15,334 Okay. Well, uh, I was just gonna go staple up 82 00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:18,679 these really cool posters right over here. 83 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,030 Whoa! 84 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,239 Hey, Sheriff. 85 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,678 Let me help you with that. 86 00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,415 [ Laughter ] 87 00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:26,856 Dispatch: Damn! 88 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,342 Ooh, she made you look like a tickle-kins. 89 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:32,263 A what?You know, a namby-pamby. 90 00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:35,219 What? I'm not a namby-pamby. 91 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,518 Am I? 92 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,784 Well, you are stapled to a wall... 93 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:41,917 See you at the debate, boys. 94 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,350 Oh she got you, Sheriff. 95 00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:46,097 Aw. I wish there was a way to show everybody 96 00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:47,968 I'm not a namby-pamby. 97 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:51,880 Yo, I can use my Chit Chat Live to hype you out with that. 98 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,887 What's up all my millions of followers? 99 00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,629 It's my boy, Sheriff, 100 00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,760 here to show you he ain't no namby-pamby. 101 00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,762 Yeah! 'Cause would a namby-pamby do this? 102 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,145 That's power! 103 00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:03,898 Shut up, namby-pamby! 104 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,589 Ow! [ Cries ] 105 00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,066 Oh, come on, Sheriff. 106 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:08,986 Hey, y'all. It's me again. 107 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,551 Him again! 108 00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:13,078 Do you think a namby-pamby would use his bare hands 109 00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,912 to eat scalding hot soup? 110 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,730 Hot soup! 111 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:21,388 Get your hands off my soup, you namby-pamby! 112 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:22,905 Hey. Me again. 113 00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,438 Him again. Again. 114 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,401 Would a namby-pamby hike deep into Old Town's 115 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,311 dangerous rainforest...Rainforest. 116 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:32,136 ...just to tell you he's not a namby-pamby? 117 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:35,284 No. So, vote Sheriff for -- 118 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:36,968 Monkey!Monkey! 119 00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,095 Sheriff, careful with my phone, yo! 120 00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,018 Aw, damn! 121 00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:44,756 Man: What a namby-pamby! 122 00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,806 Mr. President, you've got to see this idiot. 123 00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,422 Sheriff? 124 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,473 Johnson, wipe me. 125 00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,818 Alright. I found my phone, yo. 126 00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:56,298 Damn! These comments are savage! 127 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,989 "Burn in namby-pamby hell." 128 00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:00,036 "Momma should've flushed your namby-pamby ass 129 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,612 down the toilet."What? 130 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:04,169 Damn. Carl left you, like, a hundred of these. 131 00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,516 [ Monkey chatters ] 132 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:07,606 What? What is it, monkey. 133 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:08,955 I can't understand you. 134 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:10,354 Namby-pamby! 135 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,697 Aw. Everybody thinks I'm a namby-pamby -- 136 00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:16,788 Carl, the monkey, the President. 137 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,708 Oh, what? The President? 138 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,973 You're not a namby-pamby. You're an American hero. 139 00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:23,237 I am? He am? 140 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,329 I saw your video, Sheriff. 141 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,668 Really?Yeah! 142 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,807 And you may have preserved America 143 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,980 as the most powerful country in the world -- 144 00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:33,986 if we can harness the massive potential within that amber. 145 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:35,339 What's amber? 146 00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,158 Is that how they make ambergurs? 147 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,856 We got it, Mr. President. 148 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:40,473 And it's huge! 149 00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,994 Yes! And don't cut it in half this time. 150 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,648 What is it you found in there? 151 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:47,832 Uh, shouldn't you get back to, uh work? 152 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:50,389 There's no way I'm gonna win re- election tonight. 153 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,997 But now, we can hang out all the time. 154 00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:56,568 Uh...What if I help you win this election, huh? 155 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:59,357 Really? 156 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,712 Thank you all for the support. 157 00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,932 Except for the man in front. 158 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,842 I guess Sheriff's a no-show, 159 00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:09,107 so, let's go ahead and vote for Mrs. Goodman -- 160 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,281 Yo, what's up, everybody! 161 00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:12,677 Make some noise! 162 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,200 It's your boy, Sheriff!Yo, give it up! 163 00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,553 Just hanging with my boy, the Presi-der-if! 164 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,033 The prez, yo! 165 00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,423 Up in United States of Ameri-care-if! 166 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,766 Ameri-care-if! 167 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,205 Yo, put her there, Carl! What's up? 168 00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,431 Wow. The President. 169 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,560 Who's a namby-pamby, now, Tommy? 170 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,042 Not you, Sheriff! 171 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:30,042 This Old Town debate is about to pop off, yo! 172 00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,735 It's going down!It's going down! 173 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:34,742 Old Town! Election! Debate! 174 00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,440 Hello, Old Town. 175 00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,525 Just stopping by to endorse Sheriff. 176 00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:42,404 He's the man for the job. 177 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,395 -I'm voting for Sheriff now! -Yessaroo! 178 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,317 I mean, if the president says so. 179 00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,582 Thanks, Prez. 180 00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,284 You think I'm gonna win now? 181 00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,711 Of course! 182 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:53,238 Politics is just one big dick-measuring contest. 183 00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:54,762 Now, just go up, and show everybody 184 00:06:54,805 --> 00:06:56,455 who's got the biggest dick. 185 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,423 Thanks, Prez. 186 00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:02,072 Our first question comes from Linda. 187 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,897 This oughta be easy. 188 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:07,635 Statistically, one in 4.6 women experience sexual harassment 189 00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:08,908 in the workplace. 190 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,430 By proxy, how do you intend 191 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:13,823 to make the workplace safe for all employees? 192 00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:15,258 Uh... 193 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,784 Thank you, Linda. I have a plan -- 194 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,087 Yeah, yeah. 195 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:21,443 I'll show you why I'm better for the job. 196 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,574 [ All gasp ]Oh, no. 197 00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:25,577 Shame on you, you pervert! 198 00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:28,269 Welp, all in favor of Mrs. Goodman, say "aye." 199 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,747 [ Crowd shouts "aye" ] 200 00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,667 I now pronounce you... Sheriff and New Sheriff. 201 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,152 Get off the stage, Sheriff. 202 00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,501 But Prez told me to -- Dispatch, help. 203 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:38,682 Sorry, yo. I don't hype toxic masculinity. 204 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:41,939 Now, you're under arrest for indecent exposure. 205 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:43,203 No! 206 00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:46,415 President! 207 00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,990 President? Prez? 208 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,466 Is anybody home? 209 00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,686 [ Man Laughing ]Man: Oh, luck o' the Irish! 210 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,686 Computerized Voice: Man detected. 211 00:07:57,738 --> 00:08:00,388 Man: And next to unveil... 212 00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:01,996 Russia! 213 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,306 Huh? 214 00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,492 [ Chanting "Russia!" ] 215 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,308 President, I need your help. 216 00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,486 Sheriff, quiet! It's almost our turn. 217 00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:11,492 But I lost the election, and -- 218 00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,234 Man: Next to unveil... 219 00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:16,365 Finland. 220 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:20,628 Seems USA's reign of power is soon over. 221 00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:21,894 Oh, we'll see about that. 222 00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:23,326 President --Quiet already. 223 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,552 Mrs. Goodman is coming to arrest me, and -- 224 00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,241 Man: And last to unveil... 225 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,638 -Wait. No. -Shut up. 226 00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:29,071 Man: USA! 227 00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,857 No! I won't shut up. 228 00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,511 You caused me to lose! 229 00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:34,375 And now Mrs. Goodman is -- 230 00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:35,816 Ewww! 231 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,213 What is that smell? 232 00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:38,995 Don't get too close to those, Sheriff! 233 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,740 We don't know what kind of STDs 234 00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,651 were around millions of years ago. 235 00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,916 ST what are all these things? 236 00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,269 They're ancient dinosaur penises. 237 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:48,749 What? 238 00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:51,569 You see, every year, we hold a secret summit 239 00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,528 where nations' pecking order is determined 240 00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:57,186 by who possesses the largest prehistoric penis. 241 00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,582 Like I said, politics is literally 242 00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:01,016 a dick-measuring contest. 243 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:07,022 -Really? -Now, who's got the biggest? 244 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:11,858 Man: And the winner -- again -- USA! 245 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:13,199 [ Chanting "USA!" ] 246 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,898 Hey! 247 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:18,685 I thought politics was about who was better for the job, 248 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:21,602 not some stupid dinosaur penises. 249 00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:22,948 [ Laughter ] 250 00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,257 You sound like a woman. 251 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,912 Honk, honk! 252 00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,956 Now, let me grab that sweet woman ass of yours, Sheriff! 253 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,702 Hey! Stop that! 254 00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:31,883 Oh, lighten up. It's funny. 255 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,919 No, it's not. 256 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:38,055 Sexism isn't funny. 257 00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:41,149 You're damn right it's not. 258 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:43,889 How did she get in here without a penis? 259 00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,451 Ow. Ow. 260 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:48,237 Now, Sheriff, you want to roast these weenies? 261 00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:52,903 You bet my sweet woman ass I do. 262 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,420 Man: No! Don't do it! 263 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:55,943 Oh, no, don't shoot our penises! 264 00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,604 Ugh! My eye! 265 00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:04,295 Our power system is ruined! 266 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:08,652 -Our precious manhood! -I feel so vulnerable! 267 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:12,735 Men. What a bunch of namby-pambys. 268 00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:16,786 That was awesome, man -- I mean wo-man! 269 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,183 Yo, what the hell happened to him? 270 00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:22,617 Oh, he got an STD from a dinosaur wee-wee. 271 00:10:22,665 --> 00:10:23,795 [ Laughs ] 272 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,100 He looks like he got Hepatitis BC! 273 00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:28,757 [ Laughter ] 274 00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:32,682 All jokes aside, you're gonna be a great sheriff. 275 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,329 Here's my hat, my badge, my undies. 276 00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:39,293 Actually, I was offered a better job, so I quit. 277 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:40,814 -Huh? -What? 278 00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:43,117 Have fun with cold-a-saurus rex! 279 00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:46,524 What? No. Don't leave me with him. 280 00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:49,468 Man, yo! 281 00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,958 Alright. What are the boys up to now? 282 00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,779 The penisaurs -- they brought them back to life, 283 00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:58,958 and now, they're taking over the world. 284 00:10:59,006 --> 00:11:01,396 Sheriff: ♪ M-O-M-M-A named me 285 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:03,233 ♪ Momma named me Sheriff 286 00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:04,971 ♪ Momma named me Sheriff 287 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,712 ♪ My m-m-m-momma, momma, momma named m-me Sheriff ♪ 288 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:09,363 ♪ Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma named me Sheriff ♪ 289 00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:10,797 ♪ Momma 290 00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,194 She named me Sheriff. 291 00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:14,497 I will hide it. 292 00:11:14,547 --> 00:11:19,097 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 20406

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