All language subtitles for Les Chinois a Paris.en

-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-

Move, look where the camera is!

Is that your mic?

It sucks. Well OK, OK.

Remove the thing there.

Now, perfect!

Hey people, not so much light,
the president doesn't like that.

No, here, bring
another light please.

I'll go look if the
president is ready.

Here.

I just finished your
speech Mr President.

So, what do I say?

Well, that everything
is lost Mr President.

-OK, but how do I say it?
-As usual.

My fellow French, the situation
is grave but not hopeless.

Once again France
has to face events

that demand from all its
citizens some sacrifices.

The Chinese hordes have invaded
Europe and are at our borders.

During its history, our country
has had to face many assaults.

Proud children of this country

splendid assault, discipline,
abnegation, honor

the French sacrifice, once
more the world is watching

OK, let's go.

The situation is grave

but not hopeless.

Once again

France has to face

events that demand
from all its citizens

a total spirit of self-sacrifice.

The Chinese hordes

that have invaded Europe
They're all vicious and sadists!

are now at our borders.

They'll torture!

During its history, our country
has had to face

They'll impale, they'll rape!
Do you hear me?

many assaults.

But it's with a serene courage
You don't care

that we look to the future.
There's 700 million of them!

Indeed, we know that the proud
children of this country

will have the magnificent burst
Are you listening to me Régis?

that will allow us to throw the enemy
700 million Régis!

out of our borders!

700 million what? Dollars?

Sex, sex.

Discipline

abnegation

sense of honor

the sacrificial spirit of the French people

will once again work wonders.

In the most tragic moments

the French have always done
what needs to be done.

They've overcome every
obstacle and impediment

Mr Monclair, let me go.
and finally, they won!

Let me go, my father is waiting
for me, we have to go!

But where my dear, where?

Where, where? I don't know.
Indeed, we know that our citizens

Anywhere. Do you understand?
will have the magnificent burst

It's war. It's awful.
that will allow us to throw

Yes, it's awful.
the enemy out of our borders!

God knows what the future has for us.

In a few days maybe we'll all be crushed
and wiped out by those masses.

the sacrifice of the French
will once again work wonders.

So my dear,

I may not be your type of man

but I'm sure that you've never known love?

Have you ever known love?

Well, you know, I don't want
to profit from the situation

but you must admit that it'd be sad.

Well, I mean if we're screwed...

In the most tragic moments

the French have always done
what needs to be done:

face the enemy.

What the fuck is she doing?

Unbelievable! 700 million
chinks at our borders

And you can't even be arsed to know
where this fucking nuclear code is!

But also our atomic power!

I said to the minister
of defense that

salvation can only come
from the land army!

I'm sending a solemn call

Sure, only from the land army!

to all the people of the nation

The minister got out in a helicopter, so!

Wow, the air force are so good.

Keep France's honor and freedom,

its greatness and its dignity

I ask the nation to keep its composure.

The country will be defended because
our citizens will fight till the last!

Mr President, your speech was remarkable

The air traffic lane to New York
is free. Let's go!

I ask the nation to keep its composure.

The country will be defended

because
our citizens will fight till the last!

For fuck's sake!

This fucking key's gotta be somewhere!

It's written in the secret instructions
in the event of a conflict.

I don't know where we put
those bloody instructions.

nuclear codes

30% off for the brave
Chinese soldiers

Chinese in Paris

The public order has to be
maintained in the capital

that's why the police
forces are at your service.

The church has always seen the struggle
of the Chinese people with a kind eye.

I won't bless you my son, because
this isn't a custom for you

but the intent is there.

The press is with you General.

To inform the people about all
the social things that you've done.

And that I hope you'll do here.

Thank you. I won't need anything right now.

But I don't know Paris very well.

I will need a small escort.

Certainly General, it will be
my pleasure to drive you myself.

Here we have the
Place de la Concorde.

It's very big, kind of
deserted, but we can build!

-With God's help.
-Yeah, whatever.

No, it's no good.

And the great palace?
We can compartmentalize it.

It could be very nice,
and enjoyable to live in.

-No, it's no good.
-No good? Oh my god.

What about the Invalides? That's military!

Maybe we can raise the height.

No, it's no good.

God will inspire you!

Here, I wanted to show you that,
it's the national assembly.

No, it's no good.

You gotta put up with him.

Isn't it good?

And the Elysée palace?

No, it's no good.

Oh God, why have You abandoned us?

Here's the Madeleine church

I don't offer it to you, because
it's a church, a cold building.

But we would gladly see the reason of
the people following the reason of God

which has always been the same by the way.

The church is always quick to change sides.

The press has always
been a pain in the ass!

Anyway it's no good.

I'm sorry your honor, I don't
know what to show you anymore.

What's this monument?

That's the galeries Lafayette,
a department store.

I don't think that's interesting for you.

Yes it is. Very interesting.

-Really?
-We're going to look at it.

♪Something is happening on each floor♪

♪in the galeries Lafayette♪

♪Something is happening on each floor♪

The headquarters of the Chinese
forces will be in a department store

on the right bank
of the capital.

The placement of this building,
its dimensions,

and its lack of partition
played in favor of this choice.

The Chinese High Commissioner
said that this structure

has the double advantage
to support community life

and to allow easier surveillance.

All the equipment and goods will be
moved away by the Chinese troops.

According to the orders
of the central board

whose foundation is Marxism-Leninism

we have to appoint a French government

to assist the Chinese
authorities.

The candidates will have to present
themselves here tomorrow morning.

In Indochina I was in several commitments.

After that a few trips to study

I think I'm the man you need.

I was member of the communist party
for 15 years, excluded 5 years ago.

I always was for De Gaulle, and he
was one of the first to support you.

I was in the OAS, I was in
Algeria, Katanga, Yemen.

By the way Mao has always
lead my thoughts.

I believe in Marx, sir,
and the socialist party

is the only one that
didn't betray me!

I don't understand.

I'm a Chinese teacher.

Are you speaking Chinese right now?

No, I'm speaking Hebrew now.

But the fact that I
speak Hebrew doesn't

stop me from being
a specialist in Chinese.

That's a message from Beijing

The central board

picked the French governor

a financial adviser

that once made important
deals with our country

Mr Hervé Sainfons
de Montaubert.

Mr Montaubert?

Yes, hello.

Sorry.

General Pu Yen is
waiting for you.

Of course, Governor,

you can take any house
that you like the best.

the chamber of deputies, the Elysium
palace, even the Eiffel tower

But you must choose very quickly

because we'll soon transform
other buildings in warehouses.

Well,

I'll do my best, you can believe me
when I say that I'm very sympathetic,

very honored.

Do you mind if I get back?

Goodbye gentlemen.

Ministry of National Defense?

No, too belligerent.

-The presidency of the council?
-The Louvre sir!

To keep some kind of nobility.

Versailles then.

Versailles can't be turned into a warehouse!

Gentlemen, I beg you...

Wisdom orders us to model
ourselves on the occupant.

I know perfectly the Chinese soul

we will settle the government's palace

in a place that presents the same
characteristics as their headquarters

without offending them,
they're easily offended.

Hello

Hello

Why not.

Headquarters of the French government

Block the road.

Governor?

Bravo, it's very...

Bravo, are you converting?

Of course, chinks don't like accessories

French do the same with
Chinese food buddy.

To show their contempt for
the occupant, right darling?

Albert is right, plus you won't
get rich with that, Régis.

Don't count on us,
resistance is starting.

Specialists are sure, it's mimosas.

Now for Franco-Chinese news:

General Pu Yen, the High Commissioner
in France arrived at Beijing today

He should be received right now by the
central board to which he shall review

the current situation in Paris.

General Pu Yen has arrived from Paris.

I read your report about
the French occupation.

Without violence, congratulations.

How did the French authorities react?

The president fled to the USA.

Like most European leaders.

Except the queen of England,
who is in Hong Kong.

Now we should see

how you'll organize France.

According to the history of Europe,

we noticed that the occupant's
error has always been

to leave too much autonomy
to the occupied countries.

So the central board has decided

that each territory that we're occupying

will only have one industrial activity.

Switzerland will
only build watches,

Italy pasta,

the Netherlands bikes,

Germany electrical goods, etc...

We have to pick France's activity.

Bring me the French file.

The French file.

Our secret services have
brought us this file

that the Russian services brought them

that they took from the
American secret services.

UN's secret services report.

The conclusions are always the same

French people are the greatest
drainers in the world.

What does "drainer" mean?

Drainer: a person or thing that drains,

or a rack near a sink on which washed
dishes, etc are placed to drain.

It has something to do with pipes.

Since they're great drainers, the French

will only build pipes.

I think that it's wonderful
of them to remove

everything so we have
room to build pipes

What are we going to do
with all those pipes?

Don't think about that honey,
the Chinese must have a plan.

The Chinese...

Yes, they're here and they're the masters!

I'm alright with that , I've got
to say, the more I see them working,

the more I understand
their doctrine and action.

The industrial society ate the individual

The man behind a machine
was himself a machine.

So, now, this return to manual work

gave him back his dignity, his greatness!

France's imperialist and bourgeois
politics are for pleasure and idleness

spread to the people, really
swept away all moral values.

That's also why we lost the war.

-You're on their side
-Well, yes,

I'm on the side of national
and Marxist renovation.

And I want to contribute to that because
the world progresses, the future is bright!

No one, you hear, no one,
can change the course of history!

What about love?

My dear, there's only one love left,
the one of the people

-What are we waiting for?
-I don't know, we'll see.

It's nice that there's a queue, it proves
that there's something to wait for.

I don't understand Governor
why the French are panicking.

They are queuing to store supplies.
I don't understand.

Like our Chinese saying says:

to flowers butterflies,
and to lettuces hare.

Sorry?

It means that each population
has its own diet and customs.

For example, take us, the Chinese,
rice is our main sustenance.

We'd never think to take anything
from your local resources.

Well, Excellency, I'll immediately publish
a report to reassure our population.

Please announce another reform too.

French people use to tire
themselves too much in fornication.

And they lost their physical
and intellectual forces.

And caught this awful
illness of the burning piss.

So, to regenerate the French
people, we'll forbid fornication.

Excellency, we've seen 5 republics
and none was as concerned

about the French people as
the valiant Chinese republic.

It's not finished yet, Governor.

The greatest danger
for the French people

remains in that dreadful
slaughter on the roads.

It's true that French
people drive like assholes.

They're completely enslaved by cars.

So, our High Commission has decided

to completely remove cars.

And this destruction

has received the name:

Operation Long Dragon.

The suppression of cars,

except those that are essential
to the sovereign people

has been decided for your own good.

You must be glad about this action
from the Chinese High Commission.

Leave to the Chinese drivers

your foul, polluting, dangerous
and imperialist vehicles.

Our specialist covered in concrete
all your Mediterranean beaches.

to put there the cars
waiting to be compressed

and those cars will be deported
to China, where we have space.

The suppression of cars,

except those that are essential
to the sovereign people,

has been decided for your own good.

You must be glad about this action
from the Chinese High Commission.

Leave to the Chinese drivers

your foul, polluting, dangerous
and imperialist vehicles.

By leaving the keys on the
dashboard, the key ring too.

It will be destroyed, as an outside
symbol of a retrograde era.

The Operation Long Dragon,
ordered by the Chinese liberation forces

What? Hey dad look, it's ours here!

Yep, that's ours.

Hervé! It's ours!

No! It can't happen!

Stop!

Feeling better?

We'll be avenged, I swear it!

Can I take you home?

Shit, how do you still have your car?

Yes, I've got an exceptional permit,
to circulate in the people's interest.

So, if you wish.

Not bad, eh?

Emile, how much do I owe you?

-Two white, 12,000.
-What?

12,000 bucks for two white?
What's wrong with you?

I gotta find it and bring it buddy.

If you ain't happy
you can find the chinks.

Transportation isn't possible anymore.

The last thing they found to fuck with us.

Permit to circulate for
trips longer than 20km.

I only brought back 24 bottles last week.

And it ain't easy with a rickshaw.

Ain't that a sad vision!
Chinese pulled by the French!

Even more since that story
must earn someone money.

Always the same!

The dude who started that, he can
drink some white for 12,000 bucks!

1964, special cuvée from the time,
gift from the French podometer company

Wow buddy, I shouldn't
have worried about you.

I was even ready to offer
you a job as pipe builder.

Don't worry, things are
going great for me.

I can say that the
business is running well.

Do you know that people start saying
podo like they used to say taxi?

Come see this.

We don't get occupied very often,
you've got to enjoy it.

It's a whole organization.

Very well, he managed
the wall, crossing now.

Crossing went very well.
Be careful, very good!

Be careful the last one.

Straighten up, be proud!

What is he doing up there
with his flags?

We're calling rickshaws
with semaphores.

You gotta figure things, the chinks
requisitioned the phone lines.

Very clever.

33 Champs-Élysées

♪stretch, tight, bent, down♪

That's damn good.

You gotta do a good job, this is good,
it makes them more flexible.

And it's easier with the music.

At your rickshaws please.

Merrily!

It's wonderful pal, even the chinks
admit that they don't have that.

The chinks, the chinks, why don't you say
the Chinese or the occupation troops?

Are you campaigning?
You're on their side now.

You can talk, you obey them.

Yes, but I only do that to take
their money. Money has no smell.

Didn't you understand
that money is outdated?

No, I'm a little bit late.

All your life you only
did shameful jobs:

journalism, advertising,
porn, public relations.

And now that you have
a chance to redeem,

you're still
on the side of profit.

Well, you're hurting me!

-You're going?
-Yes, certainly.

-You aren't going to walk back?
-Yes!

-I'm paying for the ride!
-I don't give a fuck!

The street isn't only yours! Asshole!

Garancière street

No, only to Levalois.

Alright then, Levalois.

What's all that mail?

Denunciations, comrade General.

Very good! Nice effort from the French.
Let's take a closer look.

None of those
letters are signed.

None.

That's admirable.

The French are
modest and discreet.

If they like to denounce, we have
to make things easier for them.

Write denunciation.

Booklets with detachable
parts will be distributed.

Each citizen will
have to keep them

and present them at the first requisition.

But it's not without pride

that the Chinese people grow soy.

Noble and ancient plant

whose virtues are even
recognized by the imperialists.

Yes, we should celebrate soy.

Plant sensible to the duration of the day.

Whose farming is alike
to the one of bean.

And that the great socialist poet
Li Quan Chao sang with these words:

When the sickles are
orderly after the harvest

and that the long
horde of workers

heads towards the village

The soy fields rustle

a sweet murmur rises in the bluish air

we, soy seed, are proud

to feed the people.

Revolution is like soy

constituted of thousands of
seeds, that are the workers.

I don't want
to profit from the situation

but God knows what the future holds.

God? God doesn't know anything.

Only the central board, lightened by the
Marxist-Leninist thought knows our future.

No, no fornication, it's harmful
to the good of the masses.

The doctrine of the party
condemns the taste of pleasures!

Oh no, it's bad! It's very bad!

And it's... it's not bad.

Not bad at all.

Stop!

Stop!

-Who, me?
-Yes, you.

Papers.

Denunciation booklet.

The denunciation booklet?
The denunciation booklet...

-So?
-I don't have any.

He doesn't have any.

He doesn't have any.

Well, the laughs ain't
over yet scum!

Useless brutalizing
politically retarded comrade.

President Mao said:

communist not put aside

one who committed fault

on the contrary, use gentle persuasion

to help him reason.

You never denounce someone?

You commit severe fault.

We take you to civic police.

So, let's start over again.

You didn't have any booklet?
Well, well, my son, I mean comrade

That's not good at all.

Yes but you... you're not Chinese.

Yes, now I'm Chinese,
my name is Chang Pei Po

Now?

Yes, I've been naturalized since last May.

I suddenly understood where the light
came from, before I was in a parish.

The central board heard
my confession of faith

and honored me with Chinese citizenship.

But let's go back to you my son

I mean, comrade. So...

You've never denounced anyone?

No father, well, no comrade.

I can say that everyone
that I know is in

the straightest line of the great
democratic Chinese party's ideology

based on the
revolutionary theory:

Marxism-Leninism.

Come on my son, well,
comrade, think again

surely you must find
a deviationism case.

Not much,
can't think of anything.

A venial case would be enough

free your conscience my...
comrade.

Don't you know anyone who

fornicated for example?

Oh, yes, I might.

-Say the names.
-The names?

Yes, you need
two people to fornicate.

Solitary fornication is hard to
establish, except for exhibitionism.

Then I can't think of anyone.

-Not at all?
-Not at all.

That's annoying, very annoying.

Yes, of course.

Or yes, one time, one time in a

in a small storage room,
an unoccupied storage room.

-Unoccupied storage room?
-Yes.

You mean a storage room
where no one sleeps ever?

Almost never.

Well, here we go!

Here's a nice denunciation of
insufficiently inhabited premises.

You see, we can do it!

Let's do it my son, I mean comrade,

write name and
address of the owner.

Yes, that's Mr Lefranc, that's him.

What?

Nothing, that's Chinese.

Housing at the inhabitant unit.
Here general Pu Yen.

I want a new room

for my general staff and myself.

Absolute priority. It's urgent.

Yes?

Hello.

Requisition department.

I've come to investigate the rooms.

What rooms?

You have been denounced by
Ms Delion, your neighbor.

You have 6 rooms too many.

That bitch.
Wait a minute.

There's a chink who wants
to requisition the rooms.

I'll deal with it.

Come in, sir.

Oh no, I'm sorry mister,
I'm expected by someone else.

Unsanitary premises.

The strings, chopped,
with last Sunday's radish greens and

the week's potato peel, it will
make a nice soup for tonight.

That's nice, because Grégoire's
coming to supper tonight

-and he loves your soups.
-Really?

Mr Lefranc?

Yes, that's here.

Requisition order.

What's that stuff?

Read that, that's the best!

I assume this paper is correct and
we have to show him around the room.

Please come in, sir.

-Do you realize dad?
-I realize very well.

This way.

Please.

You're the one not realizing.
If you wanted us

to get in trouble, you wouldn't
do it any other way.

Do you like it? It's not very big.

But if it's for you it will be fine.

Electricity should be back
soon now, what time is it?

I don't know, see,
I don't have a watch anymore.

I gave mine last week
as a voluntary contribution

to the collective
effort for resupply.

Well, I traded mine for
a pound of butter.

-Yes but...
-Ah, here it comes!

It's 8 o'clock.

You know, we don't
need watches anymore.

Yes, to get butter.

You'll end up by persuading us
that those power cuts are useful.

Anyway they're required for
the effort for renovation

and for destructuration of the
popular economy, that's certain!

Well, this smells really good!

Yes.

They requisitioned
the small room in the back.

No? I would have never believed that!

But tell me, how many are they?

God knows.

Sorry to disturb you

but I think that the pushing
water system is stuck.

It's the flush again.

French equipment, always unhinged.

Come with me, I'll show you.

The small room in the back...

No, don't push.

Yes the small room in the back.

And where are we going to
do it now? Where?

I'm sure someone denounced us,
I'm sure of it.

Bastard! If I knew
the scum who did that.

And that was down with the curtains
because of the lack of fabric.

I wanted you here to
celebrate my first billion.

Well, that's not why I came.

I came to see the new TV show.

Yes, because Grégoire
offered his TV

to the popular collection
for the masses' knowledge.

What a moron!

I came here to eat because there's
always good stuff at Régis'.

Here, this is one that
the Chinese won't get!

Neither this one.

Thanks, to your health Régis,
to your first billion!

You're right, you gotta
rip off those bastards!

Quieter Hubert please!

He's so reckless!
You know what he does?

He writes chunk go jom
everywhere in the subway's halls.

What does it mean?

Something like Chink go home.

If you want to watch TV it's on now.

Dear viewers,

allow us to give to your hearts
the serenity provided by compliance

to Marxist-Leninist ideology.

As part of the civic
information of the popular masses

here's our new show:

-The televised pillory
-The televised pillory?

The televised pillory

A program from the revolutionary agency
of radio broadcasting and television.

every day, the French will be able

to hate, in a complete
independence of mind

a bad citizen guilty of acts contrary
to the interest of the people.

Pretty colors heh?

This is better.

It's happening every day.

Today, Silverstein David, 46
years old, an awful trafficker

guilty of storing bicycle
tires and Mercurochrome

thus seriously hurting
the community.

Watch closely this face
of a dishonest man.

Gaze upon those deceitful eyes,

those lips, thick and gluttonous,

that hooked nose.

Hate Silverstein David.

He really looks like an asshole.

What a shameful guy!

Really gross,
I'd rather not watch this.

If you really want to unwind

spit at your television

spit at the image of
this vile trafficker!

Tomorrow, we'll show you
another bad citizen

Ronberger Pierre

convicted of trading his tobacco
card for a identity card

in the name of Mohamed Ben Hassam.

That was the televised pillory.

We'll now go to the Champs Elysées

where a military parade
is currently happening

to celebrate the liberation
by Chinese troops of France

that was oppressed by imperialist,
capitalist and bourgeois powers.

To you Les champs élysées.

Here the champs élysées,
the parade is going well

I'm scared when I see all those Chinese.

But... The one here, I know him!

That's general Pu Yen,
Chinese High Commissioner

in France that's
presiding over the ceremony.

Can you believe that? We've got the
Chinese High Commissioner at home.

That's disgusting,
I'd rather not watch that.

Fuck!

Fucking hell!

What's happening?

I wanted to repair that goddam flush.

I don't know why you'd do that,
it's been that way for 6 years!

Look at this.

We have the Chinese High
Commissioner under our roof.

With toilets like that he'll
have a high opinion of France.

You know that it's the valve.

To get a new one you've got to go
to the plumber six months early.

What if we asked General
Pu Yen for a favor?

Don't you get the feeling that
it's not in his contingency?

We should at least try.

You know very well that
I don't speak to those people.

Anyways it's fixed.

The 7:40 patrol's coming,
hurry up you'll be late.

So the 15' pipes?

We've got 409.

- Very well, so the 12' junctions?
- 4006

-The double 29'?
-80

80 that's it, and the 16',
Major Pu Chin's special order?

-We've got 3 of them
-Do you have a return?

Yes we do.

Hey Grégoire, it's been a
long time since we haven't...

Listen Stéphanie, I told you not to
talk to me about that anymore!

All energy spent on another activity
than work is a crime against the people.

The people? I don't give a fuck!
I'm 22, and what I want is...

Debauchery and fornication are
the fiercest enemies of productivity.

But I don't give a fuck about productivity!
What is want is...

When I think that you're lucky enough
to have General Pu Yen under your roof!

He doesn't seem to dazzle
you with his standing!

By the way, I would like you
to arrange a meeting with him.

Aren't you dazzled enough?

Yes but I have interesting
ideas to submit to him.

-I don't speak to that type.
-Do it anyway!

They don't understand that!
Fornication!

What the fuck are you doing?
Get to work buddy!

Excuse me, sir, is His Excellency here?

OK, sorry.

Governor, perfect.

I noticed in your compatriots

an important amount of suspicion
towards the Chinese troops.

Yes Your Excellency, some French keep
being unaware of your generous action

and ignoring the admirable example
you're giving to the world.

I was rightly coming to suggest to
Your Excellency some dispositions

that may bring back a smile to
the surly face of those illiterates,

those politically retarded.

Here, it's about a rather vigorous method

No Governor, No.

If happiness is an obligation

it's not really happiness.

Only a semblance of happiness.

Yes of course, only during occupation
periods, we're used to ersatz.

Listen comrade...

The French, morose,

think that the forces of happiness
aren't released in them.

In China, on the other hand

forces of happiness
completely released

and the people sing, even dance

happily participate
to the collective party.

So, the French people
have to do the same thing.

Well that's a very good idea!

The dance, the sing, the
collective fairy, my dear Chinese

They call her the little...

Our popular army for occupation

will offer to the French
people a real Chinese party.

A real Franco-Chinese party!

And that will forever strengthen,
the indestructible bonds of friendship

between your great people and mine!

Marxist-folklorists associations

Olympic medal

Winners of the Tour de France

Long live the Franco-Chinese
collaboration

You know that I only accepted
this invitation to please you.

Sure, and to please Régis.

Yes, he's late.

You know that those two really have to
be tortured to want to meet this chink.

At last, here he is!

Look at this!

Mister comes in a car and
still finds a way to be late!

I couldn't find any gas,
I had to go to a hairdresser.

He took me for 35 and a Bayonne ham.

If it keeps being like that
I'll leave it in the garage.

Well anyway you still got your rickshaws.

Rickshaws were crafts,
now I'm in serious business!

Comrade your invitations please.

But we know each other!

Wait, where did we see each other?

Have you ever had trouble
with the civic police?

-No
-That'd surprise me.

Well. I'm sure I've seen
your friend somewhere!

-No trouble with the civic police?
-Never.

You're lucky then! You're next
to comrade General Pu Yen.

Come, follow me.

Well that's...

Here, take some.

Come.

The lady here.

And the gentleman there and there.

You go there, the sir with the hat.

Here.

It'll be nice here. I go there.

I gave them 500,000 shit like that

32km of streamer, 16 tons of confetti

and, I don't remember,
230,000 paper hats.

You're unbelievable.

What will you do
with all that money?

Property investment,
I just bought the opera.

At first the Chinese
tried to handle it.

Just that governing Europe, Asia,
even the whole world that's one thing.

Leading a ballet,
an orchestra, technicians,

choristers, that's
something else.

So, they wanted someone to deal with it.

I knew it, I send the money and...

Here's the flamboyant hero.

Governor.

High Commissioner.

I did everything in my power so that
this party will please Your Excellency.

In the Chinese-French friendship!

We'll see.

France's elite is here.

A merry people are a happy people.

Starting from this evidence,
His Excellency,

the Chinese General
High Commissioner in France

wanted, according to a poetic and
completely Chinese expression,

to unleash the forces of happiness.

It's a great honor for me

to assume the responsibility
for this wonderful campaign

that will now give back to our popular
masses their natural cheerfulness.

And now

I'll ask to the General Governor

to release officially and symbolically

the forces of happiness.

I declare, officially
and symbolically, released

the forces of happiness.

Music!

♪joy is rising into the sky♪

♪joy is infinite for the French♪

♪the glory is tremendous♪

♪the joy of protecting comes to the
police, it knows a start but no end♪

♪Laugh, all the French♪

♪Laugh, all the French♪

♪Laugh, all the French♪

The joy of the people
is a great comfort, isn't it?

Look at this,
it's complete havoc.

Havoc? It's beautiful, that's all!

To the right!

Right!

-To the right asshole!
-Shut up!

Asshole?

You don't know what's
waiting for you!

My dear, I think we're
facing a great success!

Allow me to kiss you,
it's so beautiful!

And may the party keep going on!

The French, they don't know
how to have fun.

What's happening?

I'm very displeased!

I... I don't understand.

Mr Grégoire Monclair.

Mr Régis Forneret.

Do you speak Chinese?

Very badly, but I'm learning because
I love the language so much.

It's the language of the
true revolutionary fighter,

and you know that all the French
have a revolutionary in their heart.

You know Excellency, I learn
Chinese because I like

the language but mostly
because I like the people.

Sorry, I would like to talk to Your
Excellency about a project that's important

to me: the complete rework of France's
history from a Marxist-Leninist view.

You'll see, I think it's great.
Truly breathtaking.

My lady, I'm sorry about
this lame spectacle.

I'm sorry to have bothered you,
I don't understand the French.

I had a lot of hopes for this party

to make happy and smiley the
morose faces of the French.

I beg your pardon!

-But the intent was there Your Excellency!
-Yes but...

Please. If I may, I know the French soul,
I've been selling it, dare I say.

What the people
want is spectacle,

both educative and entertaining,

that unite the traditional
spirit of the French opera

to the Marxist-Leninist ideology.

For example, if you give me a subsidy,

you know that in France every theater
is subsidized, even those which aren't,

if you grant me a subsidy,
I'll put on a show, that will adapt

the French intellectual heritage
to the reality of the revolution.

Yuron.

I'm sorry, I'm still a beginner in Chinese.

But you're on isn't Chinese,
it's OK!

Ah, you're on!

Revolutionary culture is for the popular
masses a powerful revolutionary weapon.

Carmeng, revolutionary opera with
democratic and contemporary themes

We had friends in the trades,
that was enough.

You're not starting again with that!

You have to be early
so you're not late.

We, the Chinese, we value
very much everything

that can remove
the sense of evil in youth.

Do you mean that you're Chinese?

Yes my son I'm Chinese,
I'm from the parish, well, we Chinese...

Today is a big day, a big day!

Can I introduce to
His Excellency Master Abel Fruchdel,

from the comédie... the French Academy.

Very honored.

It's for me, to shake your hand, I'm moved.

Me too.

Well, I don't want
to bother Your Excellency.

Well, this will start soon.

Ceiling.

Let's sing and dance to
express the revolutionary joy

that's provided by the
Marxist-Leninist thought.

I bring news from
the village's committee

The patrol from the
section chief Don-Cho-Sey

wiped out a company full
of imperialist devils.

Here's the section chief:
Don-Cho-Sey,

with a prisoner.

This woman has been seen
with the paper tigers

that are the rotten imperialists.

To punish her crime
against the ideology,

this woman must be judged

by the popular army's tribunal.

Don-Cho-Sey, I repent.

I want to do my self-criticism.

Look at the bright future that
the revolution is offering us.

Damn, she got away.

Don-Cho-Sey is judged for
letting the traitor get away.

Don-Cho-Sey is degraded.

Let's look for the American
camp where the wretched traitor

must have hid.

Carmeng.

Carmeng.

What do I see?

The puppet soldiers
of the American army.

Carmeng, I love you.

I know where the imperialist
puppet camp is.

Bring the red
detachment of women.

Let's run to slaughter the imperialist
tigers and their servants.

Hey fellas, wait for us...

Don-Cho-Sey, I love you.

The working class can
only free themselves

definitively by emancipating
the whole of humanity.

-Your Excellency...
-An ideological strength!

Allow me to thank you for this moment,
this truly miraculous moment.

Comrade.

And here he is!

The subsidy a little bit too
expensive, but, well...

It's thanks to you
that this exists.

You know Mr Fruchdel

that, to say, did
everything in this, well...

-We don't know how to thank you, really.
-It was wonderful!

Really, thank you.

Congratulations,... oh well.

Leave me some.

-To your second billion.
-Thanks.

-Did you invent that?
-Yes.

Do I have to blow?

Here.

Well, I'm drinking to the
success of the fraternization,

ideological and cultural between
the French and the Chinese!

That'd hurt me,
I drink to the yellow's departure!

-What are you talking about?
-What?

I'm drinking, to no one, to me. I drink.

Well we'll get them out
one day those bastards.

By the way I heard that the
Americans were preparing a landing.

They should mind
their own business.

And I'm not even talking about the
resistance, they're getting organized.

I don't talk about it because of
too many enemy ears around.

But if I wanted, I'd say things!
And it'd scare away more than one!

Things gonna burst soon!

Yes, yes you're right, be careful.

Are you alright General?
Can I do something for you?

No, thanks, no.

You don't look very well, sit down.

Do you want a little cordial?

Cordial?

The drive to crime, the hard stuff.
You know, alcohol,

I got a bottle for the big events.

No, alcohol is strictly prohibited
by our brave democratic army.

Well, you know, when it's
a cure it's not the same thing.

You'll see, you'll feel better.

It's an old calvados that my
brother in law secretly sends me,

but I shouldn't say that.

You don't have something
like that back home. Here.

Does alcohol ease pain
and bring oversight?

Well, that's why there are so
many drunkards in the world.

Come on.

Cheers.

A little bit more?

Here.

General.

General.

General. Time to go to bed, OK?

Come on.

Come on.

Quite a weight for
the democratic army.

I ask for your forgiveness.

I lost face.

Acted like a lecherous animal.

Unworthy attitude from a superior
officer of the democratic army.

Only punishment: death.

Death?

You're not going to kill
yourself for that, right?

Yes.

Come on, don't do that, there are
already enough dead through wars.

-I forgive you.
-No.

No way to forgive you.

Me, I kill myself.

But you're a fool!

No, not Fu

Pu Fu is my cousin.

Here, look, this one.

Come on.

-You got it?
-Yes.

They're so...

They're so dumb, really, there
will be such a mess tomorrow!

Here, hold this for a second.

No, but it was a joke,
it was a joke!

-Stéphanie!
-What are you doing here at this time?

Albert.

- They arrested Albert!
-But who?

How who?
You dare ask who!

But whose side are you on dear?

Well, come in.

Oh my god, you're not alone.

There's just dad in the
kitchen cooking rutabagas.

Your housemates?

They're gone to their work, I was going
to mine, I work with Régis at the opera.

- That's funnier than the pipes.
- Yeah that's better.

Listen, I don't want to hold you,

General Pu Yen, you're
not on bad terms with him?

No.

Well, then listen,

Talk to him, step in for Albert,
because he can release him right now!

Yes, he's all powerful!

I beg you, do it. Do it for me.

Do it for Albert.

Fuck, do it for France!

Long live the Franco-Chinese
collaboration.

The strength of mind must
be imposed through weapons.

♪We are no longer paper tigers!♪

Happiness is at
the end of sacrifice.

Communal action is
the discipline of each of us.

My poor Albert.

In what state am
I going to find him?

After 3 months of
democratic rehabilitation!

And a 3 month trip!

Here they are!

Come!

-That's not them.
-Yes it's them.

♪We are no longer paper tigers!♪

♪We are no longer paper tigers!♪

Which one is Albert?

Albert, my love, sweetie!

Those displays are
completely inappropriate.

They show a soul in the grip of a
conservative and bourgeois affectivity.

Call me comrade, will you?

- But my precious!
-Precious? Purely a capitalist notion!

There's nothing precious besides the
ideology that leads the revolutionary hero!

My poor Albert, you're not well.

I've never felt so good, comrade.

♪We are no longer paper tigers!♪

Here's your duck, gentlemen.

Here.

A nice game of billiards!

Start.

That's completely unacceptable,
I know Your Excellency.

Those vile and coward attacks
are made by a tiny minority.

Generally speaking, the French
people are completely on your side.

-There weren't any casualties!
-OK, the attack didn't cause any deaths!

But I fear an escalation.

I assure Your Excellency that
the culprits will be punished!

And that generally, I say it again, the
people are outraged by those cowardly attacks.

No, no...

-It's not very effective.
-Yes it is!

Listen, you put that under your uniform
and it protects you from everything:

bullets, shrapnel, darts, icy fluids,
hepatitis, kicks in the ass,...

Please Your Excellency,
this isn't the time to talk.

Sign the purchase order, I'll produce
1.5 million done in 15 days.

You know, you gotta
be careful now...

Here.

-To your fifth or sixth billion?
-Eighth billion!

There's 800 million Chinese,
so it's 10 bucks per Chinese.

Well, enjoy your
money while you can!

Because one day or another the masses
will unmask exploiters like you.

All together with
the imperialist gluttons!

If you don't like it
you can denounce me to Pu Yen!

-He'll tell you to fuck off,
I'm his salvation! -Well, anyway

the brutal exploitation and the cruel
economical oppression that you and your kin

threaten society with,
will soon be punished!

Sadly I don't think it's heading that way!

The materialistic and imperialist
conspiracy has never been so powerful!

-Let's eat the duck.
-Naturally we have to say it.

So the bourgeois reactionary and
the enemy of the people are pleased.

-See all those attacks!
-That's true!

The occupation troops aren't energetic
enough, the retaliations are piddling!

Democracy and freedom will only succeed
at the price of the harshest sanctions!

Régis, listen.

We have to ban all ideology made
of weakness and powerlessness.

Each opinion that overestimates
the strength of the foe

and underestimate the strength
of the people is false.

I need another drink.

The Chinese must not be impressed
by a bunch of imperialist terrorists.

On the contrary,
they must be firm and intransigent.

Sure! They should reinstate
the curfew, imprison, deport!

And shoot!

Montaubert is a puppet in the hands of
the reactionary and decadent bourgeois.

-He should be replaced!
-Yes, but by whom?

The fact is that Pu Yen
is very worried right now.

Beijing command him to bring back order
to France and he's looking for ideas.

Yes, and he doesn't have any,
because his head is elsewhere.

-The heart too.
-What do you mean?

Don't bother, I know.

That being said, get me an interview with
Pu Yen, I have stuff to talk to him about.

So here's my idea:
have you ever

heard of the role of the Helots
in the republic of Sparta?

The democratic republic of Sparta?

No, in the antiquity,
the republic of Sparta was

a republic where they weren't
laughing every day.

Strict morals, iron discipline,...

Very good, very good.

So, to maintain this discipline,

the Spartans found a thing, they'd intoxicate

get drunk, if you prefer, a number of dudes
to show the example of degeneration.

To show the others what you shouldn't do.

So, imagine that France becomes
the Helots of the socialist world.

So the French show the other
countries what we shouldn't do.

So the French eat, drink, stuff full
of food, in complete degeneration.

They leave you alone.
Only one policy and two advantages.

I think it might be a good idea.

I'll go to Beijing and submit
this idea to the party's board.

Great idea.

The whole of France, place of debauchery.
Reopen the whorehouses.

Let alcohol and petrol flow.

Generously distribute
family allowances.

And double the number
of non-working days.

Impossible.

French people already have
200 free days per year.

That's a detail.
You'll do your best.

And regarding money,
you'll get maximum help.

So the French resistance will fall

into orgy and lust.

Beautiful propaganda for them
to submit to the other countries

some of them start
to become agitated.

General, you're raised to the rank
of supreme hero of the revolution.

Fuck then.

Cabaret of Paris, ladies & gentlemen.

That's good, very good.

Excellency it's a pleasure to work
for such a great and noble country.

Here, go that way,
through the emergency exit.

You don't want to get noticed.

For the sexy in Bordeaux.

-How much?
-120 thousand francs

-Per month?
-Per week.

You?

La loupiote in Dijon, 60,000 francs,
Le phaloclub in Carpentras 50,000 francs.

-Want to do your accounts now?
-No, not now, I have my tour to do.

♪So kiss the glutton,
the other is only signs♪

♪Wherever her petticoat goes,
fly over the mill♪

♪fly over the mill♪

♪fly over the mill♪

The French cancan!

It works, it works!

It's wonderful Régis,
that's a real success!

Look at them, they're happy.

And you know, this is too small.

You should buy
the building next door.

We could put in 500 extra people.

Buy, buy, do it.

All Paris!

Look at this!

Thanks to you, the rotten France
shows to the popular masses

the spectacle of
its degeneration.

The world shudders with dread while
learning what's happening in Paris.

Quiet! Comrades,

The reaction is winning.

The bourgeois decadence
reigns in this country.

Enjoying getting my chrome dirty?

Well, comrade, we're
between comrades here.

France is a frightening example
for other democracies.

We have to fight the lame state of
mind that's got to our fellow citizens!

French resistance fighters!

Listen to me, French to French,

stop this debauchery,
think of our national greatness!

Think of our national
thinking greatness!

Cover yourself, you bad French woman!

You cannot defend France with
your ass, even with such an ass!

Listen to me carefully,
it's the French resistance

the whole French resistance,
don't let yourself fall into debauchery,

debauchery is decline!

I do everything I can to help your
political action, and what's happening?

People mess up my clubs,
my shops are destroyed

and there's
scandal in my cabarets.

Shit, if you can't maintain order,
go home and stop pissing us off.

Revolution is nice, but mess isn't.

I'm sorry.

So I'll give orders tomorrow

to the occupation troops to
help your action by all means.

All pleasure establishments
will be militarily guarded!

-I swear it to you!
-That won't be enough, that'll be worse.

I know the French, they won't
fuck under a rifle's menace.

You know what you should do Excellency?

Your troops should show an example.

- What? Drinking alcohol?
- Yep.

-Fornicating with ladies?
-Yes.

Attend dirty spectacles?
No, no, we can't do that.

-Opposite to our ideology!
-Be realistic!

Plenty of French are
willing to collaborate.

They're willing to be the Helots, get
drunk every night and fuck like rabbits.

But they won't last if their safety is
threatened by the revolutionary fanatics.

Those people need
to be supported.

And there's only one way to do so:
your troops should show an example.

Where do we drink?

Where we drink is the vagabond!

To yours fellas!

Isn't he cuter without the cap?

Look, seriously, look.

Hey, I was the one who found him!

What's happening? Come on...

No more bets.

That's it, the dice is cast.

It's raining, it's raining, shepherdess

Mommy, the little boats
that go on the water

He is born, the Heav'nly Child

The good King Dagobert
had his breeches inside out.

We can't allow those
dreadful hordes.

That give an example to the people
of the most shameful perversions!

-It's broken now!
-Who cares?!

Exactly! And if the Chinese don't
respect the austerity that seduced us,

the popular masses must kick them out!

We that are the elite of the nation,

we're ready to fight the enemy
till the last drop of our blood!

-Exactly!
-What we need is enthusiasm!

-And weapons!
-We got some.

Be careful comrade.

We'll only attack at the decisive moment.

Come on, up.

That's enough, wake up!

Talk about the Chinese
temperament...

You're a pussy buddy!

No, not Pu Sy, Pu Yen,
Pu Sy is my father.

Come on!

Carefully, please, carefully.

Not that bluntly.

It's not possible.

Eating, drinking,
fucking all the time.

It's not possible.

Leave me alone.

Leave me alone, just a little bit!

Rest, I need some rest.

I have a hangover.

I have a hangover.
Where's my head? No.

It's not possible anymore!
You know...

French people have been doing nothing but
fucking, drinking and eating for centuries.

No civilized being could
tolerate a quarter of it.

The troops are exhausted.

The brains are yielding
and the nerves are dropping.

Immediate evacuation.

Shit, be careful!
You'll get us spotted!

- Hello, Régis?
- Yes?

-That's it, they're leaving.
-Well, alright.

Gentlemen,

it's time.

♪Companion, do you hear?
That's the scream♪

♪of the fox that's resonating♪

♪Companion, do you hear?
That's the scream♪

♪of the duck that's shivering♪

♪But tomorrow the ducks will hunt♪

♪those dreadful foxes♪

♪But tomorrow the foxes will run away♪

♪in front of the ducks♪

-So, the Chinese?
-No Chinese.

Oh, it's you!
You scared me, be careful.

Look, here they are.

-Didn't you see any Chinese?
-No.

-What do you mean?
-I said no Chinese.

-They must have retreated.
-Where?

-Into their headquarters.
-To the galeries Lafayette! Let's go!

Careful with the fingers on the paint!

-Let's go.
-Hurry up!

Careful with your feet.

-My feet!
-I said careful!

Go through the no entry,
that'll be faster.

Go, behind, go, go!

Madam...

Have you seen any Chinese?

-No, there ain't anymore.
-They left.

-Then, we scared them away!
-Thanks to me!

They ain't conscientious!

Is Beijing still far away?

8,500km

Shave the sluts!

There's one here,
on the second floor!

Shave the sluts!

Shave! Shave!

Bravo!

Thanks, that's nice.

Hands, come on!
There's enough for everyone!

Thank you.

My watch! Asshole, give it back!
Come here dumb asshole!

Asshole! Fucking asshole!

Thanks.

What do we do with that?

Not this, the Chinese stuff,
everything Chinese I said.

Who are those guys?

Don't worry, I'll deal with that.

Règis, the situation is serious.

We came to warn you because
we didn't forget our friendship,

but sadly your
attitude with the Chinese...

It's known. And the resistance looks for
everyone who was with the occupier.

-Nothing can stop them, even us...
-Yes, we started creating purge committees.

No one will be able
to escape them.

Stéphanie has been arrested, and shaven.

-Shaven?
-Yes. Unfortunately we can't do anything

No, you can't do anything for her.

Well, you have to hide,
for a while.

Only god knows what can happen next...

Thanks guys,
it was nice to warn me.

I don't have a minute to spare,
please forgive me.

Shaven.

We never lost hope.

With a deeply rooted hope, we always
thought that, following our impetus

the French people would
drive the invader away.

We always believed in
the final victory.

And we were right,
once again, justice won.

We now have to rebuild our country,
recreate our national unity.

We will do so by using
all the energies,

all the abnegations that we unleashed

during a time that allowed us
to recapture foot by foot our land.

Long live France.

Remarkable Mr President.

Mr President, it's all the press
that warmly welcomes you through me.

Thank you my friend.

You'll give them a few medals.

Regarding Chinese surplus,
I can give you a lot of stuff.

For example, 3,000 tons of rice.

What can I do with that?

Mr President, think of
the developing countries.

Fair point.

On the equipment side,
I also have interesting stuff:

600 tanks in perfect condition.

We can't use Chinese equipment.

The tanks are French Mr President,
the ones the Chinese took when they came.

It's different then.

Of course, everything in the same vein,
gear, canvas for tents, diverse items,...

rubber items.

Shaven.

Why did you want to come here?

Because there are some Chinese here.

They didn't leave all European capitals,

and where there are some
Chinese, there's money for me.

He's pointing his finger at you!
Do you know him?

Do I know him?
I sold him all my rickshaws!

subs by gundenspand

Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org