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00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:37,076
It's time for
2
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Live or Die.
3
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,785
Now here's the host
and star of the show,
4
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,021
Chuck Toedan.
5
00:00:58,725 --> 00:00:59,362
- Hello everybody
6
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,036
and welcome to Live or Die,
7
00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:03,204
the game show that gives
those condemned prisoners
8
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:04,270
one last chance
9
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,544
before their final bow in life.
10
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,211
Now as you remember when we
ran out of time yesterday,
11
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,447
we were about to make
that final judgment
12
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:12,307
on 9372.
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Let's see how he's doing today.
14
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,920
9372, how ya feeling?
15
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:18,950
- I'm a little nervous, Chuck!
16
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,427
- Well we won't keep
you waiting any longer.
17
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,285
You're familiar with
the rules of the game?
18
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,256
If you fail to answer
the question correctly,
19
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,157
you will lose your head.
20
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:29,933
Anyone here rooting
for you today?
21
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,895
- Well my family's here Chuck.
22
00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:33,101
- Where are they?
23
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,134
Can we get a shot of them'?
24
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:44,576
- Well I never thought
he'd amount to anything!
25
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:45,349
- Ready?
26
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:46,150
- Ready Chuck.
27
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:47,178
- Okay.
28
00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:48,281
Your question is
29
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:52,113
what is the title of
this famous movie?
30
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,823
Watch the monitor.
31
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,103
- God damnit, son of a bitch.
32
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:14,673
Mother fucking shit God damnit.
33
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:23,618
- Okay.
34
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:24,547
For an instant reprieve,
35
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,017
what was the name of that movie?
36
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,826
- I don't go to the
movies much Chuck
37
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:29,820
but it could be.
38
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:30,855
- Sorry time's up!
39
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,494
That was Curses of the Mummy.
40
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,798
- Oh no Chuck.
41
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,999
- But wait before
you lose your head,
42
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,235
we'll give you a chance to win
some money for your family.
43
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,904
Now if your head falls
in the basket face up,
44
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:46,336
we'll give them 10
thousand dollars.
45
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:48,740
Okay?
46
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:49,740
- Okay Chuck.
47
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,048
- Try to flip it up honey!
48
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:52,042
- Come on Dad!
49
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:53,407
You can do it!
50
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:54,411
- Okay.
51
00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:55,378
Here we go!
52
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,165
Let's wait for the
word from our judges.
53
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,177
Ourjudges say it's face up!
54
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,616
Congratulations, you've won!
55
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:38,285
We'll be back with
more of Live or Die
56
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,620
after these messages.
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00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,376
♪ This ain't no stupid rap
58
00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:54,975
♪ About some stupid crap
59
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,213
♪ 'It's a game show at last
60
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,744
♪ That'll really kick your ass
61
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,814
♪ If you're in the slammer
62
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:03,086
♪ Really feeling pissed
63
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,219
♪ This show you
can't afford to miss
64
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:06,717
♪ You could win the prizes
65
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:08,048
♪ If you've got the knack
66
00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:09,792
♪ But if you get
the questions wrong
67
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:13,291
♪ You won't be coming back
68
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,396
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
69
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,765
♪ But if you knew
70
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,978
♪ You would be no more
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00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:31,180
♪ Don't waste it
brother, bye bye
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00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,451
♪ Yeah baby
73
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,319
♪ Live or die is
what they call it
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00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,646
♪ So don't be shy
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00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:43,325
♪ Door number one,
door number two
76
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:46,153
♪ Where oh where
is the door for you
77
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:47,328
♪ Now is it three
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00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:48,632
♪ Get off your knees
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00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:49,797
♪ Boy don't you know
80
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,295
♪ You're on TV
81
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,868
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
82
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,299
♪ It's the only way to go
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00:04:56,630 --> 00:05:00,305
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
84
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,114
♪ But if you lose
85
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:06,280
♪ You will be no more
86
00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,717
♪ The prizes here are very odd
87
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:16,619
♪ But where else can you lose
88
00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:20,795
I And shake the hand oi God
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00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,065
♪ Now think of all the crimes
90
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,527
♪ Committed in his time
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00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,302
I Think of all the
criminals just sittin around
92
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,662
♪ Waiting for their
punishment that's overdue
93
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,871
♪ Where now we can give
them something to do
94
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,972
♪ They could have fun
95
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:33,403
♪ They could win money
96
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:34,541
♪ But if they lose
97
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,006
♪ It's bye bye honey
98
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,806
♪ See you later sucker
99
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,882
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
100
00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:46,351
♪ It's the only way to go
101
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,991
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
102
00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:53,264
♪ But if you lose
103
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:57,330
♪ You will be no more
104
00:05:58,658 --> 00:05:59,329
- We hate Chuck!
105
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,933
We hate Chuck!
106
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:02,535
We hate Chuck!
107
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,399
We hate Chuck!
108
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,233
We hate Chuck!
109
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,239
We hate Chuck!
110
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:09,706
We hate Chuck!
111
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,413
We hate Chuck!
112
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,376
We hate Chuck!
113
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,015
We hate Chuck!
114
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,286
We hate Chuck!
115
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,017
- Evening ladies!
116
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,058
Thank you guys.
117
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:29,924
Take care.
118
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,430
See you tomorrow ladies!
119
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:45,713
Good afternoon.
120
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,109
It's a killer day in LA
121
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,942
and you're tuned to
the pulsating sounds
122
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,586
of Larry Lacienica on KLT FM,
123
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,556
the station that
throbs with rock,
124
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,793
playing the kind of music
you lovebirds out there
125
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,257
might just want to screw to.
126
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:07,327
We'd like to remind our
alcoholic friends out there
127
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,231
not to drive while drinking.
128
00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:10,802
You could spill it.
129
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:39,998
- Hey!
130
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:40,862
Hey you!
131
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,809
You're an asshole!
132
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:48,339
You're a perverted asshole!
133
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,875
I've been watching
your show for two years
134
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,615
and I think it's sick!
135
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,350
Where the fuck do you get off
136
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,813
killing innocent people!
137
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:17,640
_ Hello?
138
00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:20,370
Yeah?
139
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,203
Oh shit.
140
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:24,480
Is he all right'?
141
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,210
Fine
142
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:28,211
What time?
143
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:30,914
Okay.
144
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:38,562
Good morning.
145
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:40,564
- Good morning.
146
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,228
- Do I know you'?
147
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,594
- You're my favorite TV host.
148
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,898
- You here all night?
149
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,202
- God you're so neat!
150
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,544
- Would you please leave?
151
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,076
- Hey I know a lot of people
hate you and your show
152
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:01,045
but I'm behind you 100 percent!
153
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,114
- Thank you.
154
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:04,915
Are you leaving?
155
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:05,916
- Hey do you think maybe
you could get my boyfriend
156
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,247
on your show?
157
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:09,059
He's doing 65 to life
for molesting a collie
158
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,589
in front of a Catholic school.
159
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:12,453
- I'll see what I can do.
160
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,766
Now will you please leave'?
161
00:09:18,591 --> 00:09:20,537
- God thanks so much Chuckie!
162
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,567
God Chuckie you're so cool!
163
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,569
Hey does it bother you if
people call you Chuckie'?
164
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,707
I know that sometimes when you
165
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,535
when your band leader
calls you Chuckie
166
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,040
you get little pissed.
167
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,644
It doesn't bother you that
much though really does it'?
168
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:33,609
Oh Chuckie, you're so neat!
169
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,248
Hey, hey Chuckie.
170
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,577
Do you ever have sex
with your contestants
171
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:38,821
before they go on your show?
172
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:39,782
- No.
173
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,421
They have it with each other.
174
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:42,624
- Oh wow.
175
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,120
I love you Chuckie!
176
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,069
_ Hello?
177
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,464
Yeah.
178
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,741
We might have a bit of a problem
with one of our contestants
179
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:00,010
number 1768.
180
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,443
Nothing too serious.
181
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:04,009
I got a call from his
warden this morning.
182
00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:06,840
It seems he was gang raped
in the cell last night.
183
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:08,481
Well he's a little tired.
184
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:09,912
Oh no he'll still go on.
185
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,086
He just won't be sitting.
186
00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:33,675
- Come on kids!
187
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,671
Come on.
188
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:35,672
Hi!
189
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:36,673
Hi!
190
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:37,674
Hi sweetheart!
191
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:38,675
Have a nice day!
192
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:41,281
Hello, have a good day!
193
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:42,518
Bye!
194
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:43,980
Let's go!
195
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,380
You, ain't you'?
196
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,962
You are, you're the
host of that indecent,
197
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,356
inhuman, immoral
fucked up TV show!
198
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:57,361
Don't you have any
sense of responsibility?
199
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,830
Don't you know that
killing is murder'?
200
00:11:01,794 --> 00:11:04,297
I hope you rot in hell!
201
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:31,999
- Chuckie!
202
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:32,996
It's Chuckie!
203
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:34,066
Can I be on your show?
204
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,897
Please, please, please Chuckie?
205
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:37,867
- Dinko, leave me alone!
206
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,609
- Oh please Chuckie!
207
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:40,707
I could be good honest.
208
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:41,569
I'm very photogenic.
209
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:42,572
Come on Chuckie, can I'?
210
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:43,710
Can I'?
211
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,742
What a neat guy!
212
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,718
- Morning Mr. Toedan.
213
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,390
- Hi.
214
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:01,292
- Good morning Mr. Toedan.
215
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:02,691
- Morning Mr. Toedan.
216
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,575
- Fuck you Mr. Toedan.
217
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,876
- Good morning Mr. Toedan.
218
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:33,086
- Did you see this?
219
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,796
- Yes I did.
220
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:35,929
- Well,
221
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,997
why haven't you taken
measures to get rid of it'?
222
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,326
- Well it's happened so often
223
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,264
I thought you'd be
used to it by now.
224
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,665
- Well I'm not.
225
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:46,837
What's on the agenda for today?
226
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:47,940
- Well let's see.
227
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,269
After today's taping,
228
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,637
you have to go over
to channel seven.
229
00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,244
You're doing the Roy
Montecue show at five.
230
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,781
- Oh damn I forgot
about that damn show.
231
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:56,814
- Can't get out of it now.
232
00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:58,952
You agreed to do it.
233
00:12:59,279 --> 00:12:59,950
- I know, I know.
234
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,281
Anything else?
235
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,786
- We had two more bomb threats.
236
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,595
- Just two?
237
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,022
Might be a good day after all.
238
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,806
Welcome back to Live or Die.
239
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,372
For those of you
whojustjoined us,
240
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:24,944
we're waiting for 1768 to
make the decision of his life.
241
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:25,976
Well pal,
242
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,546
what did you decide?
243
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,376
Are you gonna take the
envelope that's in my hand
244
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:30,983
or are you gonna
go for the curtain
245
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,723
that lovely Shanna
Shallow is pointing to?
246
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:41,898
- I think I'll go with
what's behind the curtain.
247
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,495
- The curtain?
248
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,632
You're sure now?
249
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:48,798
. Yes, yes I'm sure.
250
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:49,663
I guess.
251
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,507
- That's too bad
252
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,832
because in the
envelope we had for you
253
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,736
a stay of execution!
254
00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,812
That's right!
255
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,914
A perfectly legal reprieve
signed by the governor himself
256
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,380
so back to the
governor's desk it goes
257
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,247
and let's see what
you traded it for
258
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,320
behind the curtain!
259
00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:13,759
- No!
260
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,225
- Yes, that's all for you!
261
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,592
Don Stewart, tell us about it!
262
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:18,994
Well
Chuck every man dreams
263
00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:20,827
of being well-hung
264
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,571
and that fantasy's
about to come true
265
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,876
for 1768 with the new
ponderosa model 4000 pound
266
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,907
test strength rope from
the Yankem High rope shop
267
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,737
of Gallows, Montana
268
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,107
and the noose was specially
hand-bound and braided
269
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,385
by our friends
over at Nod Landing
270
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,415
and to guard against those
unsightly rope burns,
271
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,781
this package comes
complete with a 100 percent
272
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:43,458
wool silk-lined designer
hood from Bigger and Bigger
273
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,023
of Beverly Hills.
274
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,456
This is all yours
compliments of Live or Die.
275
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,198
Total value of
this deal is worth
276
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:50,057
your life!
277
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,035
- Rest in peace, buddy.
278
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:58,307
Don't go away,
279
00:14:58,631 --> 00:14:59,769
we'll be back with
more of Live or Die
280
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,976
after these special
words of interest!
281
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:06,539
- We asked San
Quentin inmate 2811
282
00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,944
to help us out with
our cheesy taste test.
283
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:09,980
Now tell me,
284
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:11,652
is this the taste of
real cheese spread
285
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:12,888
or imitation?
286
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,959
- Tastes like real
cheese to me, Don.
287
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:19,729
- How about this one'?
288
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,162
- This is a little salty.
289
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,966
Ew, it's very bitter.
290
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,902
This is the imitation cheese.
291
00:15:29,228 --> 00:15:29,899
- Not quite.
292
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:31,902
This one is Rodento,
293
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,471
our cheese-flavored rat poison
294
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,837
guaranteed to kill
rats dead in 30 seconds
295
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,477
or your money back.
296
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,943
The delicious cheese flavor
attracts little varmints
297
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,583
and then when they take
just the smallest bite,
298
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:44,013
they're history.
299
00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:45,845
Just like old 2811.
300
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,156
Now if our product can work
this fast on a human being,
301
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,587
imagine how it'll work
on that tiny little mouse
302
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:52,953
or rat.
303
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,199
Rodento, one bite and
it's mouse heaven.
304
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,264
- And that is just a sample
305
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,163
of what goes on a KSIK.
306
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,306
Now I believe the
clips we've just seen
307
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,269
were taped earlier today'?
308
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,271
- That's right, Roy.
309
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:09,773
We tape three shows a day.
310
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:12,048
- Doesn't it bother that
you're killing people?
311
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:14,942
- These people are
already on death row.
312
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,309
Their lives are basically over.
313
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,780
We give them a chance.
314
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,282
A way to be somebody,
315
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,853
a way to be entertaining
before they go.
316
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,218
- How can you call
that entertaining'?
317
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:25,858
I mean who can sit
and watch people die?
318
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,960
- Our ratings go
through the roof.
319
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:30,528
Why do you think
we've been on so long?
320
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:32,859
This is what the
people want to see.
321
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:34,068
- Excuse me for interrupting
322
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,066
but we have another
call on hold.
323
00:16:36,395 --> 00:16:37,066
Go ahead.
324
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:39,205
Hello, you're on the air.
325
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,408
Hello'?
326
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:41,734
- Yes, go ahead.
327
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,069
Hi my
name is Fina Tomboso
328
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:45,006
and I'm calling from Glendale.
329
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,180
- That's a lovely name, Fina.
330
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,814
Thank you.
331
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,552
Anyway I'm calling 'cause
I wanted to tell Mr. Toedan
332
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:52,857
it's not a bad thing
that he's doing.
333
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,089
- What?
334
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:56,256
He is in
essence doing the Lord's work.
335
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,357
Life as we know it is
a transitional stage
336
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,322
and death is God's way of saying
337
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:01,825
take a break.
338
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,997
- Well thank you very much
339
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:05,267
for your view.
340
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,037
- That's an example
of the types of people
341
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,931
who watch your show, fruitcakes.
342
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:11,367
- Now, now Ms. Sternvirgin.
343
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,176
You don't have to
resort to name calling.
344
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,911
I'm sure Ms. Tomboso
is a fine, outstanding,
345
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,237
God-fearing young lady.
346
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,551
- You honestly believe you're
doing a public service?
347
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,875
- Since our show's
been on the air,
348
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,279
there's been a drop
in violent crimes
349
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:25,714
by 30 percent.
350
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,388
Doesn't that account
for anything?
351
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,056
- And your vanity
leads you to believe
352
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,417
you're responsible?
353
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,751
You're a jerk!
354
00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:34,530
- Listen you stupid bitch.
355
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,563
Can I say stupid'?
356
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,736
We give those convicts
a fighting chance,
357
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,438
we give them something
to look forward to
358
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:44,935
and we give their
families great prizes
359
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:46,242
if they lose
360
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,544
so don't start condemning things
361
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,107
unless you research the facts.
362
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,539
- We do have another
call waiting.
363
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,213
Hello, you're on the air.
364
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,609
You
know, I'm Judy calling.
365
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,284
- What's on your mind Judy'?
366
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:57,986
I'm just
wondering if Mr. Toedan
367
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,654
would remember me.
368
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,219
My papa was killed on his
show about two years ago.
369
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:04,619
- What was your name again dear'?
370
00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,055
Judy Rodriguez.
371
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:07,955
My papa was 50093.
372
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:10,927
I met you briefly
after the show.
373
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:12,327
- Gosh hon, I sure don't.
374
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,331
His segment
was bobbing for scorpions.
375
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,435
He got two out of
three, remember'?
376
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,467
- Wait a minute.
377
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,140
He had the long, greasy mustache
378
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:20,500
the scorpions kept sliding off.
379
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,675
Yeah that was him!
380
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:24,140
- That was a funny show!
381
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:25,471
How could I forget?
382
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,011
We use that segment
every year on the best of
383
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:29,411
Live or Die.
384
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:31,914
I just
wanted to thank you
385
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:32,984
for my father.
386
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:33,949
- Thank him'?
387
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:34,985
Oh yes-.
388
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:36,622
Papa always wanted to
be on the television
389
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,121
and make people laugh
390
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,657
and Chuck Toedan gave
him the opportunity.
391
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,158
- Well what did
you get out of it'?
392
00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:43,967
We got a betamax copy
of the whole show
393
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,362
so we can enjoy Dad's
death over and over again.
394
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:48,694
Thank you Mr. Toedan
395
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,598
for helping my papa
become immortalized.
396
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:51,840
- You're very welcome my dear.
397
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,110
- We've still got time
for one more call.
398
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,140
Go ahead please,
you're on the air.
399
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,142
You're
dead meat, Toedan.
400
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,950
- Who is this?
401
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:01,182
Tonight-.
402
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,009
- I'm really sorry.
403
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,017
Usually our calls are screened.
404
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:07,619
- Think nothing of it.
405
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,392
I get 47 phone threats a week.
406
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:12,491
There are people out
there who hate me.
407
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:16,163
- There are people in
here who hate you too.
408
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,060
- People have been trying
to kill me for a long time.
409
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,030
It comes with the territory.
410
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,397
- You mean you've
actually gotten attempts
411
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:24,673
on your life?
412
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:27,709
- Constantly.
413
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,744
- That's really incredible.
414
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,045
Well we are out of time.
415
00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:36,375
Thanks for coming by
416
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,155
and taking the time
to say hello to us.
417
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:40,422
Act of God,
418
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,191
act of mad man?
419
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,755
Who's the judge?
420
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:46,825
Our guests have
been game show host,
421
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:47,893
Chuck Toedan
422
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,697
and Gloria Sternvirgin,
423
00:19:52,391 --> 00:19:53,927
leader of WAAMAF,
424
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,831
women against
anything men are for.
425
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,666
I'm Roy Montecue, goodnight.
426
00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:05,246
You really told that bitch.
427
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:08,441
- Hey meathead!
428
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:10,754
- You talking to me'?
429
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,182
- I don't see any other
meatheads around here.
430
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,014
- Keep looking I'm sure
you'll attract them.
431
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,553
- Not unless you
brought your wife.
432
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:17,553
- I'm not married.
433
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,055
- I'm not surprised.
434
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,797
- Well it's been a
pleasure debating with you
435
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:22,861
but the show's over
436
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,133
and I'm a very busy man.
437
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:25,959
- Oh working on a new
game show perhaps,
438
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:27,862
Raping for Dollars'?
439
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:29,104
- Not bad.
440
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:30,406
Submit it to my writing staff.
441
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,209
- You're a pompous ass.
442
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:33,373
- We all have our
faults Ms. Sternvirgin.
443
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:34,769
I'm a pompous ass,
444
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,580
you're an unattractive woman.
445
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,984
- What the hell do you
think you're doing?
446
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,318
That man had a gun!
447
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:49,921
- So does this man.
448
00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:54,994
Want to let go?
449
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,231
- Fuck you, you're done man!
450
00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:57,226
- No I'm not.
451
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,804
- Who taught you to
drive, Ian Fleming?
452
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,413
You know you're a lunatic.
453
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:12,181
I think you hurt those men.
454
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,416
- Those men could have hurt us.
455
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,914
- Those men should
have hurt you.
456
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,588
- Well thanks for tagging along.
457
00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:23,283
You made it all worthwhile.
458
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:24,356
Now get out.
459
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:27,524
- What am I supposed
to do out here'?
460
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:29,594
My car's parked back
at the TV station.
461
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:31,162
- You know what
they say in Poland?
462
00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:32,366
Talk shitsky.
463
00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:35,769
- I'm not getting out.
464
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:37,335
Look, you pulled
me into this thing.
465
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,040
That's kidnapping.
466
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:53,315
So you want to tell me why
I almost got killed tonight?
467
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,190
- You got time for a flashback?
468
00:21:56,515 --> 00:21:57,892
- It's your pan)'-
469
00:22:00,953 --> 00:22:02,364
- About six months ago,
470
00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:06,465
I had a mafia boss on as
a contestant on the show.
471
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:09,369
As you know,
472
00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:11,868
9899 here has a
tiny motion detector
473
00:22:12,198 --> 00:22:14,303
connected to the end of
his wang dang doodle.
474
00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:17,739
It in turn is connected to our
50 thousand volt generator,
475
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:20,175
powerful enough to light
the entire city of Ithaca,
476
00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:21,246
New York.
477
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:22,245
In a moment,
478
00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:24,179
our lovely Shanna
Shallow will come out
479
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:26,012
and perform the dance
of the seven boners
480
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,323
in front of you.
481
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:28,681
If you truly have
a will of iron,
482
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,584
you will survive this game.
483
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:33,396
However, if your little
turtle moves ever so slightly,
484
00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:34,823
Zapparooney!
485
00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:35,928
Ready?
486
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:38,394
- Get me off this fucking show!
487
00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:39,429
- Too late for that pal.
488
00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:40,429
You signed a waiver.
489
00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:41,999
Let's begin!
490
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:37,980
- Congratulations, time is up!
491
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:38,981
You made it!
492
00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:40,881
What a display of willpower!
493
00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:42,453
- It's mind over matter Chuck.
494
00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:44,283
- I'm proud of you!
495
00:24:56,795 --> 00:24:59,503
So ever since then
they've been after me.
496
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,869
- Well I hope next time
maybe they'll succeed.
497
00:25:02,201 --> 00:25:03,475
You're perverted.
498
00:25:11,477 --> 00:25:13,354
Dance of the seven boners?
499
00:25:13,679 --> 00:25:14,214
Geez.
500
00:25:23,756 --> 00:25:26,327
- I like to be fresh for my man.
501
00:25:26,658 --> 00:25:28,160
He likes me to be fresh.
502
00:25:28,494 --> 00:25:29,905
He always fresh with me
so why shouldn't I be
503
00:25:30,229 --> 00:25:31,367
fresh for him'?
504
00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:32,675
Who wants a stale woman'?
505
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:33,533
Not my man
506
00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:37,172
and certainly not yours.
507
00:25:37,503 --> 00:25:40,245
That's why I use the best
feminine hygiene on the market.
508
00:25:40,572 --> 00:25:41,414
There's nothing to mix,
509
00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:42,582
nothing to measure.
510
00:25:42,908 --> 00:25:44,581
It's completely disposable
511
00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:46,912
and comes in handy
little bottles.
512
00:25:47,246 --> 00:25:48,190
Brought to
you by the friendly bottlers
513
00:25:48,514 --> 00:25:49,515
of Kinka Cola.
514
00:25:49,848 --> 00:25:50,519
- Howdy friends.
515
00:25:50,849 --> 00:25:52,089
I'm Spaz Tarrington
516
00:25:52,418 --> 00:25:54,398
and I want to show you
some dandy looking women.
517
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,028
Tired at sitting
home alone at night
518
00:25:56,355 --> 00:25:57,390
pulling the taffy'?
519
00:25:57,723 --> 00:25:58,758
You say you want the
kind of woman that'll
520
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:00,092
get your cooter to dripping?
521
00:26:00,426 --> 00:26:01,097
Well friends,
522
00:26:01,427 --> 00:26:02,804
come on down to Tarrington World
523
00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:04,539
and pick out the
model of your choice.
524
00:26:04,863 --> 00:26:08,310
Acres and acres of
women to choose from.
525
00:26:08,634 --> 00:26:09,544
Take one home,
526
00:26:09,868 --> 00:26:10,573
try her for 10 days.
527
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:11,813
Not satisfied?
528
00:26:12,137 --> 00:26:13,616
Bring her back
for another model.
529
00:26:13,939 --> 00:26:15,145
What if she doesn't like you?
530
00:26:15,474 --> 00:26:16,953
Bring her back
for another model.
531
00:26:17,276 --> 00:26:18,220
If your mother doesn't like her,
532
00:26:18,544 --> 00:26:19,716
if she drools when you kiss her,
533
00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:21,251
if she develops acne,
534
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:22,251
bring her back.
535
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:23,321
Hey and friends,
536
00:26:23,649 --> 00:26:24,889
if you marry a girl from me,
537
00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:28,061
hey I got a free gift for you!
538
00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:30,230
You're gonna need this.
539
00:26:30,556 --> 00:26:31,626
The accident
which occurred earlier
540
00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:32,662
this evening,
541
00:26:32,991 --> 00:26:34,095
seems to be the
fourth this month
542
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,734
involving the members
of the crime syndicate
543
00:26:36,061 --> 00:26:38,564
once lead by Don Guido Spumoni.
544
00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:40,171
Spumoni, you may recall,
545
00:26:40,499 --> 00:26:42,001
was executed last May on
the popular TV game show,
546
00:26:42,334 --> 00:26:43,574
Live or Die.
547
00:26:43,902 --> 00:26:45,575
These two are being
arrested on suspicion
548
00:26:45,904 --> 00:26:46,848
of organized crime,
549
00:26:47,172 --> 00:26:48,651
suspicion of carrying
illegal weapons,
550
00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:50,510
suspicion of grabbing
a moving vehicle,
551
00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:52,254
suspicion of falling
on the pavement,
552
00:26:52,578 --> 00:26:54,580
and suspicion of
being suspicious.
553
00:26:54,913 --> 00:26:55,687
- Don't think that
this is the end!
554
00:26:56,014 --> 00:26:57,493
You are a dead man!
555
00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:02,798
I'm done talking.
556
00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:05,267
The
Spumoni syndicate was
557
00:27:05,591 --> 00:27:07,366
and still is the most lethal
organization in existence.
558
00:27:07,693 --> 00:27:09,502
A group of murderers and sadists
559
00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:11,501
whose motto is
death be not proud
560
00:27:11,830 --> 00:27:13,673
but murder be zippadeedodaday.
561
00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:15,478
Whoever these guys
claim as a dead man,
562
00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:18,145
we can be sure he is a dead man.
563
00:27:40,792 --> 00:27:42,738
This is a dream.
564
00:27:43,061 --> 00:27:44,005
For the next three minutes,
565
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:45,535
this brain will
conduct a dream for the
566
00:27:45,864 --> 00:27:47,468
central nervous system.
567
00:27:47,799 --> 00:27:49,244
This is only a dream.
568
00:28:35,247 --> 00:28:39,627
- They're going to kill you.
569
00:28:48,961 --> 00:28:50,235
- I'm not afraid!
570
00:28:54,766 --> 00:28:56,473
- Are you afraid of dying'?
571
00:29:00,038 --> 00:29:00,607
- I'm afraid of no one.
572
00:29:17,956 --> 00:29:19,162
- Be afraid.
573
00:29:19,491 --> 00:29:20,902
Be very afraid.
574
00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:24,473
- Who are you?
575
00:29:25,831 --> 00:29:27,811
- Don Guido Spumoni
576
00:29:28,133 --> 00:29:30,340
and I'm gonna kill
this son of a bitch.
577
00:29:30,669 --> 00:29:31,841
Him kill my ass.
578
00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,284
- It's not my fault!
579
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:41,280
- It is your fault.
580
00:29:44,316 --> 00:29:45,351
- Since I'm a die on his show,
581
00:29:45,684 --> 00:29:48,130
I'm going to kill him back.
582
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:50,091
- It's just a game!
583
00:29:58,196 --> 00:29:59,106
- It's an omen.
584
00:29:59,431 --> 00:30:00,466
You kill me,
585
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:01,937
I kill you.
586
00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,106
Tough for the titties.
587
00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:11,784
But your men are all in jail!
588
00:30:12,110 --> 00:30:13,214
- They can't hurt me now!
589
00:30:13,545 --> 00:30:15,525
- I got him in here.
590
00:30:15,847 --> 00:30:17,622
You're gonna die Toedan!
591
00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:23,694
You're gonna die!
592
00:30:25,023 --> 00:30:25,831
- Don't think that
this is the end!
593
00:30:26,158 --> 00:30:26,898
You're dead!
594
00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:30,733
- I hope you die sleaze-bag.
595
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:33,468
- You are a dead man!
596
00:30:39,037 --> 00:30:41,517
- I'm afraid of no one.
597
00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:48,191
This
concludes our dream.
598
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:52,188
We now return to your
regularly scheduled life.
599
00:31:27,753 --> 00:31:29,289
- Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie!
600
00:31:29,621 --> 00:31:30,691
Hey let me be on your show!
601
00:31:31,022 --> 00:31:31,932
Please Chuckie I'm
really talented.
602
00:31:32,290 --> 00:31:33,963
- Dinko, not today.
603
00:31:34,292 --> 00:31:36,067
- Oh come on Chuckie!
604
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:39,239
Please let me be on your show.
605
00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:40,975
Come on Chuckie!
606
00:31:41,299 --> 00:31:43,074
- Dinko you have to be a
convict to get on the show.
607
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:44,779
- I can do that.
608
00:31:45,103 --> 00:31:46,810
What do I have to do'?
609
00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:48,140
Steal something?
610
00:31:48,473 --> 00:31:49,543
- It's a little more
complicated that that.
611
00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:51,218
- What does it take'?
612
00:31:53,111 --> 00:31:54,112
I can do it!
613
00:31:54,446 --> 00:31:56,448
- Look you have to be
on death row, okay?
614
00:31:56,782 --> 00:31:57,988
Now leave me alone.
615
00:32:22,307 --> 00:32:23,149
Any messages Trudy'?
616
00:32:23,475 --> 00:32:24,579
- Yes sir Mr. Toedan.
617
00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:25,945
Two I believe.
618
00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:28,258
A lady called asking
for Lisa Whittman.
619
00:32:28,580 --> 00:32:30,116
- Who's Lisa Whittman?
620
00:32:31,349 --> 00:32:32,487
- I don't know sir.
621
00:32:32,818 --> 00:32:34,855
- Well what happened then?
622
00:32:35,187 --> 00:32:37,997
- She apologized
and then hung up.
623
00:32:38,323 --> 00:32:39,301
- Trudy?
624
00:32:39,624 --> 00:32:40,534
- Yes sir.
625
00:32:40,859 --> 00:32:42,133
- Isn't it possible that
this could have been
626
00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:44,031
a wrong number?
627
00:32:44,362 --> 00:32:46,535
- No sir it rang right here.
628
00:32:48,834 --> 00:32:50,040
- What about the other call?
629
00:32:50,368 --> 00:32:51,108
- Other call?
630
00:32:51,436 --> 00:32:52,881
- You said there were two calls!
631
00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:54,343
- Oh yeah.
632
00:32:54,673 --> 00:32:56,880
A lady called asking
for Lisa Whittman.
633
00:32:57,209 --> 00:32:58,483
- You told me that already!
634
00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,881
- She must have called back.
635
00:33:54,165 --> 00:33:54,905
- Yeah?
636
00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:56,576
Call for
you on line two.
637
00:33:56,902 --> 00:33:57,880
- Who is it?
638
00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:00,945
He won't
give his name.
639
00:34:01,273 --> 00:34:02,013
- Toedan here.
640
00:34:02,340 --> 00:34:04,547
You are
a fucking dead man!
641
00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:06,116
- Look, you guys have
been trying to kill me for
642
00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:07,923
six months.
643
00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:09,190
Don't you think it's
time to call it quits?
644
00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:11,221
Not while
you're still breathing.
645
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:12,927
- I'll tell you what,
646
00:34:13,251 --> 00:34:13,956
let's talk money.
647
00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:16,527
I'm sure someone is
paying you to hit me.
648
00:34:16,855 --> 00:34:18,061
What if I can meet their price?
649
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:19,801
I
don't take bribes.
650
00:34:20,125 --> 00:34:20,967
- It's not a bribe.
651
00:34:21,293 --> 00:34:22,294
Let's negotiate,
652
00:34:22,627 --> 00:34:25,039
why don't you just
come by the station
653
00:34:25,363 --> 00:34:26,273
and we'll talk it over.
654
00:34:26,598 --> 00:34:27,269
Okay
655
00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:28,475
but no tricks.
656
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,211
I'm bringing my ma.
657
00:34:30,535 --> 00:34:32,105
You think you can get on
that Make Your Big Deal?
658
00:34:32,437 --> 00:34:33,711
- Well that's not my show.
659
00:34:34,039 --> 00:34:35,040
That tapes next door.
660
00:34:35,373 --> 00:34:37,046
Mama wants
to be on Make Your Big Deal
661
00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:39,116
and you want to talk!
662
00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:42,448
You make mama happy and
maybe I make you happy.
663
00:34:42,781 --> 00:34:43,782
- I'll see what I can do.
664
00:34:44,115 --> 00:34:44,650
Goodbye.
665
00:34:46,384 --> 00:34:47,158
Trudy call studio b and
see if you can get me
666
00:34:47,485 --> 00:34:50,227
some tickets for
Make Your Big Deal.
667
00:34:58,630 --> 00:35:00,439
- Gloria Sternvirgin right?
668
00:35:00,765 --> 00:35:01,402
- Yes that's right.
669
00:35:01,733 --> 00:35:03,076
Is Mr. Toedan in?
670
00:35:03,401 --> 00:35:05,005
- I saw you on
the Montecue show.
671
00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:07,010
You sure held your
own with the old man.
672
00:35:07,339 --> 00:35:08,977
He really had it coming.
673
00:35:09,307 --> 00:35:10,650
- Trudy I need three
copies of these.
674
00:35:10,976 --> 00:35:12,353
- There's someone to see you.
675
00:35:12,677 --> 00:35:13,348
- Got a minute'?
676
00:35:13,678 --> 00:35:14,452
- Not for you.
677
00:35:14,779 --> 00:35:16,156
- It's very important.
678
00:35:16,481 --> 00:35:18,961
- Need someone to proofread
your picket signs?
679
00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:20,820
- I wouldn't let
you proofread M&M's.
680
00:35:21,152 --> 00:35:22,358
- Why are you here?
681
00:35:26,024 --> 00:35:27,128
A love letter?
682
00:35:28,193 --> 00:35:29,297
I'm flattered.
683
00:35:37,702 --> 00:35:39,181
What's this have to do with me?
684
00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:41,313
- I found this in my
mailbox this morning.
685
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:42,812
Someone must have followed
me home last night
686
00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:45,121
thinking I'm tied
into this with you!
687
00:35:45,443 --> 00:35:46,046
- Tied into what?
688
00:35:46,378 --> 00:35:48,358
- Whatever it is
you're involved with!
689
00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:53,189
Listen, you tell those
sadistic friends of yours
690
00:35:53,785 --> 00:35:55,458
that you are not my boyfriend
691
00:35:55,787 --> 00:35:57,027
and that I've got
nothing to do with you
692
00:35:57,355 --> 00:35:58,356
or any of your sick projects.
693
00:35:58,690 --> 00:35:59,794
Got it'?
694
00:36:00,125 --> 00:36:01,536
- Why would anyone
think I'd have anything
695
00:36:01,860 --> 00:36:03,203
to do with you?
696
00:36:03,528 --> 00:36:06,236
- Obviously they mistook
you for someone with class.
697
00:36:06,564 --> 00:36:09,511
- Well thanks for dropping by.
698
00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:11,074
I'll personally see to it
699
00:36:11,403 --> 00:36:14,976
that everyone knows we
hate each other immensely.
700
00:36:16,408 --> 00:36:19,389
Hey Luigi, you think they
would take me for make a big deal?
701
00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:20,382
- Hey I don't know Ma
702
00:36:20,712 --> 00:36:22,248
but that's a good costume.
703
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:23,718
You know they use the big
people in the good costumes.
704
00:36:24,049 --> 00:36:25,153
- Yeah, this is good costume!
705
00:36:25,483 --> 00:36:26,723
- So you know Ma,
706
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:29,755
you don't need
707
00:36:30,088 --> 00:36:31,226
any cost or nothing.
708
00:36:31,556 --> 00:36:32,830
I can get it for free.
709
00:36:33,158 --> 00:36:35,900
You are such a good boy.
710
00:36:43,234 --> 00:36:44,770
- May I help you?
711
00:36:45,103 --> 00:36:46,047
- Yeah, two things.
712
00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:47,076
Where's this Chuck Toehead
713
00:36:47,405 --> 00:36:48,884
and where's this Make
Your Big Deal show?
714
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:50,914
- Mr. Toedan is in his office
715
00:36:51,242 --> 00:36:54,018
and Big Deal tapes in studio b.
716
00:36:54,345 --> 00:36:55,449
- Okay Ma come on.
717
00:36:58,216 --> 00:36:59,286
Sit here Ma.
718
00:36:59,617 --> 00:37:00,254
I'll be right back.
719
00:37:00,585 --> 00:37:01,563
- Such a good boy!
720
00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:03,092
- Wait a minute.
721
00:37:03,421 --> 00:37:04,092
You can't walk in there.
722
00:37:04,422 --> 00:37:06,197
He has someone in there!
723
00:37:07,859 --> 00:37:10,305
It's the third door on the left.
724
00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:16,579
- It's been a
wonderful association.
725
00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:20,144
Let's make it a point to
do it again real soon.
726
00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:22,247
Excuse me I was just leaving.
727
00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:23,279
- No you're staying.
728
00:37:23,608 --> 00:37:24,279
- No I don't think so.
729
00:37:24,609 --> 00:37:26,247
- Hey I think so.
730
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:29,388
- Listen you probably think
I'm involved with him.
731
00:37:29,714 --> 00:37:30,385
I'm not.
732
00:37:30,715 --> 00:37:31,386
- Sit down!
733
00:37:31,716 --> 00:37:32,626
- I think I'll stick around.
734
00:37:32,951 --> 00:37:34,089
Mind if I stick around?
735
00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:35,227
- Why don't you stick around?
736
00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:36,293
- Yeah I think I will.
737
00:37:36,621 --> 00:37:37,122
- Shut up!
738
00:37:37,455 --> 00:37:38,627
The both of you.
739
00:37:45,396 --> 00:37:46,272
You know me?
740
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:51,978
Know me now?
741
00:38:02,514 --> 00:38:03,584
Now you know me?
742
00:38:06,184 --> 00:38:07,857
- Luigi CT Pappalardo.
743
00:38:10,021 --> 00:38:11,295
- Now you know me.
744
00:38:12,791 --> 00:38:14,327
- What's the CT stand for'?
745
00:38:14,659 --> 00:38:15,865
- Cut throat.
746
00:38:16,194 --> 00:38:16,934
- Well you know I
wasn't supposed to be
747
00:38:17,262 --> 00:38:17,672
here anyway to just.
748
00:38:17,996 --> 00:38:18,701
- Shut up!
749
00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:19,701
You're here.
750
00:38:20,031 --> 00:38:22,136
Okay, now we're gonna talk.
751
00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:25,281
You got my tickets for
Make Your Big Deal.
752
00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:26,673
- No problem!
753
00:38:27,005 --> 00:38:27,710
Trudy'?
754
00:38:28,039 --> 00:38:28,779
'Yes?
755
00:38:29,107 --> 00:38:30,177
- You got my Deal tickets?
756
00:38:30,508 --> 00:38:31,885
I spoke with
Marty Quarter's secretary-.
757
00:38:32,210 --> 00:38:34,190
She said your guests just
need to mention your name
758
00:38:34,512 --> 00:38:35,718
at the door and they're in.
759
00:38:36,047 --> 00:38:37,526
- Did you bring your mother'?
760
00:38:37,849 --> 00:38:39,385
- She's with your secretary.
761
00:38:39,717 --> 00:38:42,630
- Trudy dear,
would you see to it
762
00:38:42,954 --> 00:38:46,458
that Mrs. Pappalardo
gets into the show?
763
00:38:46,791 --> 00:38:47,861
You got it.
764
00:38:50,195 --> 00:38:51,367
Mrs. Pappalardo?
765
00:38:52,564 --> 00:38:54,339
Mrs. Pappalardo?
766
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:55,804
Would you care to follow me?
767
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:57,202
- I gotta go Peepee now.
768
00:38:57,535 --> 00:38:59,139
- Okay but first let me get
you into the Big Deal line.
769
00:38:59,470 --> 00:39:00,210
- Oh wonderful!
770
00:39:00,538 --> 00:39:01,881
That's my favorite show.
771
00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:03,481
Think they like my costume?
772
00:39:03,808 --> 00:39:06,015
You think they pick
me for the big deal?
773
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:07,254
- I don't know.
774
00:39:07,579 --> 00:39:08,319
Shall we go'?
775
00:39:08,646 --> 00:39:10,648
- Oh good I need a refrigerator.
776
00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:12,723
- Now I'm gonna tell you
777
00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:14,758
a little story.
778
00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:16,258
Once upon a time
779
00:39:17,822 --> 00:39:19,927
there was this game show host.
780
00:39:20,258 --> 00:39:23,398
And one day he killed
a very important man
781
00:39:25,730 --> 00:39:29,234
and he killed him in
a very disrespectful
782
00:39:29,567 --> 00:39:31,444
you might say, shameful,
783
00:39:31,769 --> 00:39:34,249
you might say humiliating way
784
00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:37,382
and a lot of people
they loved that man.
785
00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:39,586
They loved him like family.
786
00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:42,118
So they decide that
this game show host
787
00:39:42,447 --> 00:39:44,120
should be removed
788
00:39:44,449 --> 00:39:47,020
so he doesn't do
something like this again.
789
00:39:47,352 --> 00:39:49,263
- Look, Spumoni was
a condemned man.
790
00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:50,691
He was on death row!
791
00:39:51,022 --> 00:39:52,399
- Don't interrupt!
792
00:39:53,458 --> 00:39:55,563
So what do his friends do?
793
00:39:55,894 --> 00:39:57,931
They hire the best
hitman in the world,
794
00:39:58,263 --> 00:39:59,401
not the country,
795
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:00,971
the world.
796
00:40:01,299 --> 00:40:02,277
Who do they hire?
797
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,273
- Luigi Pappalardo.
798
00:40:04,602 --> 00:40:07,378
- That's right,
Luigi Pappalardo.
799
00:40:07,705 --> 00:40:08,979
And why do they hire him?
800
00:40:09,307 --> 00:40:11,412
- Because he's the
best in the world!
801
00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:13,120
- That's right.
802
00:40:13,444 --> 00:40:14,787
Now Luigi Pappalardo
803
00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:17,584
has a bunch of first rate men
804
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:19,395
that work for him.
805
00:40:19,717 --> 00:40:22,493
These men are capable of
handling his light work.
806
00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:24,561
These men have been trying
to rub you out for months.
807
00:40:24,889 --> 00:40:25,765
What happens?
808
00:40:26,724 --> 00:40:28,567
- You let me go.
809
00:40:28,893 --> 00:40:30,133
- What happens is
810
00:40:31,796 --> 00:40:33,400
you escape them all.
811
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,301
So now I wonders
812
00:40:35,633 --> 00:40:37,635
how does he always get away'?
813
00:40:39,804 --> 00:40:41,579
And that's why I'm here.
814
00:40:51,616 --> 00:40:52,526
- Hi Trudy who's this?
815
00:40:52,850 --> 00:40:53,521
- Friend of Chuck's,
816
00:40:53,851 --> 00:40:54,522
can you get her on the show?
817
00:40:54,852 --> 00:40:55,523
- Sure.
818
00:40:55,853 --> 00:40:56,524
- There you go.
819
00:40:56,854 --> 00:40:58,197
She'll take care of you now.
820
00:40:58,523 --> 00:40:59,365
- Okay ma'am why don't you
stand right here in line
821
00:40:59,691 --> 00:41:00,795
and it'll be just a few minutes.
822
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:02,195
- Where's the bathroom?
823
00:41:02,527 --> 00:41:03,631
- Okay you go back
through this studio,
824
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:04,702
down the hall
825
00:41:05,029 --> 00:41:06,667
and it's to your right.
826
00:41:08,032 --> 00:41:10,706
- Now you see how
easy it is for me'?
827
00:41:11,769 --> 00:41:12,839
I'm the best
828
00:41:13,638 --> 00:41:15,174
so how come it's so easy for me
829
00:41:15,506 --> 00:41:16,985
and the rest of my
men can't do it?
830
00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:18,616
- 'Cause all your men are geeks.
831
00:41:18,943 --> 00:41:20,889
- Because you're the best!
832
00:41:25,450 --> 00:41:26,155
- That's right.
833
00:41:26,551 --> 00:41:27,529
Now earlier,
834
00:41:27,852 --> 00:41:30,355
you offered Luigi a bribe.
835
00:41:30,688 --> 00:41:32,133
Luigi don't take bribes.
836
00:41:32,457 --> 00:41:33,527
- It wasn't really
a bribe, it was a.
837
00:41:33,858 --> 00:41:35,030
- Bribe!
838
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,703
- Yeah I guess it was.
839
00:41:37,028 --> 00:41:38,371
- Now sitting here,
talking to you,
840
00:41:38,696 --> 00:41:41,506
I realize why you
survived so long.
841
00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:43,506
You're a smart guy.
842
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:46,145
I'm even beginning to like you.
843
00:41:46,471 --> 00:41:48,417
So I'm gonna make you a deal.
844
00:41:48,740 --> 00:41:51,186
Now Luigi he don't take bribes
845
00:41:51,509 --> 00:41:53,386
but he takes protection money.
846
00:41:53,711 --> 00:41:57,352
What say you pay me a
small fee once a year
847
00:41:57,682 --> 00:41:59,491
and I make sure you protected'?
848
00:41:59,817 --> 00:42:01,160
- I really don't
want protection.
849
00:42:01,486 --> 00:42:03,591
- You want protection from me!
850
00:42:46,364 --> 00:42:47,809
We gots a deal.
851
00:42:48,132 --> 00:42:49,634
We'll work out the
dollars and cents after
852
00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,139
I eat something.
853
00:42:52,370 --> 00:42:54,043
- After you eat'?
854
00:42:54,372 --> 00:42:56,443
- You don't expect me to extort
on an empty stomach do you'?
855
00:42:56,774 --> 00:42:58,583
Oh yeah, one more thing.
856
00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:03,991
I can only save you once
857
00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:06,625
so don't never, ever, ever
858
00:43:06,951 --> 00:43:10,660
kill a member of
the Spumoni people.
859
00:43:10,988 --> 00:43:13,832
If you do then we
have to hit you.
860
00:43:14,158 --> 00:43:15,466
- But there are a
lot of those people
861
00:43:15,793 --> 00:43:16,498
on death row.
862
00:43:16,828 --> 00:43:17,806
If they get on the show
863
00:43:18,129 --> 00:43:20,006
I have no control over
the outcome of the game!
864
00:43:20,331 --> 00:43:21,503
- I don't care about your game.
865
00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:24,109
I care about our people.
866
00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:25,914
- Besides, I never know
who the people are.
867
00:43:26,237 --> 00:43:28,183
We only go by the numbers.
868
00:43:29,974 --> 00:43:31,078
- I just tell you,
869
00:43:31,409 --> 00:43:32,581
you kill any more of
the Spumoni people
870
00:43:32,910 --> 00:43:33,581
and your number?
871
00:43:33,911 --> 00:43:34,582
It's up.
872
00:43:46,691 --> 00:43:47,601
- Excuse me.
873
00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:52,005
- Excuse me ma'am.
874
00:43:52,330 --> 00:43:53,035
Are you lost'?
875
00:43:53,364 --> 00:43:55,366
- I can't find the show!
876
00:43:55,700 --> 00:43:57,475
- Right this way.
877
00:43:57,802 --> 00:43:59,145
- That's a good boy.
878
00:44:00,138 --> 00:44:01,208
- Oh yeah.
879
00:44:01,539 --> 00:44:01,983
What time does my
mom get out of that
880
00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:03,614
Make Your Big Deal'?
881
00:44:03,941 --> 00:44:04,715
- There show tapes about
the same time our's does.
882
00:44:05,042 --> 00:44:05,986
Oh shit!
883
00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:07,186
I'm late!
884
00:44:07,512 --> 00:44:08,183
- Where you going?
885
00:44:08,513 --> 00:44:09,218
- My show tapes now.
886
00:44:09,547 --> 00:44:10,287
L gotta go!
887
00:44:10,615 --> 00:44:12,219
- What time does
my mama get out?
888
00:44:12,550 --> 00:44:13,688
- In about an hour.
889
00:44:14,018 --> 00:44:14,962
I really gotta go.
890
00:44:15,286 --> 00:44:16,356
You want to come and watch?
891
00:44:16,687 --> 00:44:17,791
- I hate your stupid show.
892
00:44:18,122 --> 00:44:18,793
- If it matters any,
893
00:44:19,123 --> 00:44:19,828
so do I.
894
00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:21,535
- Get out of here.
895
00:44:31,068 --> 00:44:32,513
I gots about an hour to kill
896
00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:34,680
before I gotta pick up my
mom from that game show.
897
00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:36,041
What says I take you
across the street
898
00:44:36,374 --> 00:44:37,409
to Machellfs?
899
00:44:37,742 --> 00:44:39,688
Nice little Italian joint.
900
00:44:40,011 --> 00:44:41,820
Luigi would like to buy
you something to eat.
901
00:44:42,146 --> 00:44:44,387
- Gloria's not hungry.
902
00:44:44,715 --> 00:44:46,194
- Luigi insists.
903
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:47,757
- Gloria would rather not.
904
00:44:48,085 --> 00:44:50,190
- Luigi would be insulted!
905
00:44:50,521 --> 00:44:52,398
- Oh well Gloria would
be boring company.
906
00:44:52,723 --> 00:44:54,703
- Luigi will take the risk.
907
00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,027
- Gloria won't.
908
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,704
- Luigi is getting pissed off.
909
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:02,568
- Oh well Gloria could do
a little bit of a snack.
910
00:45:02,900 --> 00:45:04,937
- Hey I thought so.
911
00:45:05,269 --> 00:45:06,748
Come on over here.
912
00:45:16,781 --> 00:45:19,694
- It's incredible how we
all picked the same costume.
913
00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:22,190
I hope we all get
picked for the show.
914
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:23,897
- What do you mean he
just ran into make up?
915
00:45:24,222 --> 00:45:25,860
We've got people on
platonium time here.
916
00:45:26,190 --> 00:45:28,636
Fine, fine, it's
his money anyway.
917
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,031
Let's do the commercial.
918
00:45:31,362 --> 00:45:33,865
- We have here Mrs. Elda
McKinley who we've flown in
919
00:45:34,198 --> 00:45:35,472
from Fort Wayne, Indiana.
920
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,041
She's going to help us with
our Glamour Ex Tape test.
921
00:45:38,369 --> 00:45:39,370
Now Mrs. McKinley,
922
00:45:39,704 --> 00:45:41,149
I want you to tell us
is this the live sound
923
00:45:41,472 --> 00:45:42,382
of your son Louis
924
00:45:42,707 --> 00:45:44,914
or the sound of Glamour Ex Tape?
925
00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:46,779
Mama,
Mama, help me Mama!
926
00:45:47,111 --> 00:45:48,613
They've got me strapped
in this electric chair!
927
00:45:48,946 --> 00:45:50,050
- Oh my baby!
928
00:45:50,381 --> 00:45:51,257
- Keep listening.
929
00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:52,754
Mama, help me Mama.
930
00:45:53,084 --> 00:45:54,791
Jesus Christ Mama, he's
gonna pull the switch!
931
00:45:58,656 --> 00:45:59,828
- Well was it live'?
932
00:46:00,157 --> 00:46:01,636
Or was it Glamour Ex?
933
00:46:01,959 --> 00:46:03,495
- It's, it's not live.
934
00:46:04,895 --> 00:46:07,171
Please God it's not live!
935
00:46:07,498 --> 00:46:08,169
- I'm sorry
936
00:46:08,499 --> 00:46:09,443
but it was live
937
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:11,644
however your son's
probably not anymore.
938
00:46:11,969 --> 00:46:15,746
She hasn't seen her
son for five years
939
00:46:16,073 --> 00:46:17,746
but she can enjoy
those sounds forever
940
00:46:18,075 --> 00:46:20,316
because we recorded the
event on new, improved
941
00:46:20,645 --> 00:46:21,680
Glamour Ex Tape.
942
00:46:22,013 --> 00:46:23,117
As Mrs. McKinley can tell you,
943
00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:25,791
it's the next best
thing to live.
944
00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:35,096
- We should be
starting very soon.
945
00:46:35,426 --> 00:46:36,700
Our host seems to be
running a bit late.
946
00:46:37,028 --> 00:46:37,699
- We're in no hurry.
947
00:46:38,029 --> 00:46:39,007
- Sorry everyone!
948
00:46:40,998 --> 00:46:41,806
- No problem Chuckie.
949
00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:44,135
- Okay let's do one!
950
00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:45,139
- Here we go,
951
00:46:45,469 --> 00:46:47,312
five, four, three, two.
952
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,710
- One bottle of your
finest house wine.
953
00:46:56,881 --> 00:46:57,859
Hey.
954
00:46:58,182 --> 00:47:00,389
Do you believe in love at
955
00:47:00,718 --> 00:47:01,389
first sight?
956
00:47:03,387 --> 00:47:06,664
- No, actually
there's no such thing.
957
00:47:06,991 --> 00:47:08,868
Most cases of love
at first sight
958
00:47:09,193 --> 00:47:10,501
are usually mistaken
impulses that
959
00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:11,898
accompany high blood pressure
960
00:47:12,229 --> 00:47:14,732
and hardening of the arteries.
961
00:47:15,066 --> 00:47:16,909
- You give me a hard artery.
962
00:47:18,636 --> 00:47:20,673
You know, my whole life I've
been searching for a woman
963
00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:21,745
like you.
964
00:47:22,073 --> 00:47:23,017
A woman with your eyes,
965
00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:23,876
your face,
966
00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:25,984
your boobs.
967
00:47:28,045 --> 00:47:29,820
- I always did attract
the classy ones.
968
00:47:30,147 --> 00:47:30,887
- And rightly so!
969
00:47:31,215 --> 00:47:33,559
You know Luigi really likes you.
970
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:35,720
- How nice.
971
00:47:36,053 --> 00:47:37,589
I like you too.
972
00:47:37,922 --> 00:47:39,196
- You got it!
973
00:47:39,523 --> 00:47:41,025
We shares our emotions.
974
00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:42,861
I showers you with wealth,
975
00:47:43,194 --> 00:47:44,229
I take care of you
976
00:47:44,562 --> 00:47:46,872
and hey, I got a
pecker like a hat rack
977
00:47:50,167 --> 00:47:52,010
That gets you excited, huh?
978
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:55,874
- Okay, ready for
the next question?
979
00:47:58,075 --> 00:48:00,112
Hands on buzzers.
980
00:48:00,444 --> 00:48:03,550
Who is it who invented
the electric toothbrush?
981
00:48:15,092 --> 00:48:16,400
Well it looks like
our friend here
982
00:48:16,727 --> 00:48:18,707
was caught by the instant
out zapper buzzer.
983
00:48:19,029 --> 00:48:19,769
As you know,
984
00:48:20,097 --> 00:48:20,905
that means we bring
in a new contestant
985
00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:22,142
for our next round.
986
00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:23,103
So Don,
987
00:48:23,434 --> 00:48:24,435
who do you have for us'?
988
00:48:24,769 --> 00:48:25,804
Well Chuck
she's a lovely old lady
989
00:48:26,137 --> 00:48:27,081
from Attica State Prison
990
00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:28,907
who's been just
dying to get picked.
991
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:30,310
Please welcome.
992
00:48:33,043 --> 00:48:34,954
We can't find her number Chuck.
993
00:48:35,279 --> 00:48:35,950
- No problem Don.
994
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:36,985
- Where's Marty?
995
00:48:37,314 --> 00:48:38,054
- Well now,
996
00:48:38,382 --> 00:48:39,952
you seem a bit old
to be on death row.
997
00:48:40,284 --> 00:48:41,786
- I really need a refrigerator.
998
00:48:42,119 --> 00:48:42,654
- Aw!
999
00:48:43,954 --> 00:48:45,831
- Okay contestants.
1000
00:48:46,157 --> 00:48:47,431
Hands on buzzers.
1001
00:48:49,126 --> 00:48:50,070
Who is it
1002
00:48:51,629 --> 00:48:53,233
who really needs a refrigerator'?
1003
00:48:57,568 --> 00:48:59,070
Well now that was
easy wasn't it?
1004
00:48:59,403 --> 00:49:00,780
You've won a shot
at the big prizes.
1005
00:49:01,105 --> 00:49:02,106
Come on down!
1006
00:49:04,975 --> 00:49:05,646
You guys can take a break.
1007
00:49:05,976 --> 00:49:06,681
You'll get another chance soon.
1008
00:49:09,246 --> 00:49:11,021
Well are you ready to
shoot for the big prizes?
1009
00:49:11,348 --> 00:49:12,850
You'll get your chance soon,
1010
00:49:13,184 --> 00:49:16,097
when Live or Die returns
after these messages.
1011
00:49:23,327 --> 00:49:24,465
- Let's go in one minute.
1012
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:25,865
We'll be moving
to remote cameras.
1013
00:49:26,197 --> 00:49:28,143
You folks can watch
on the monitors.
1014
00:49:40,478 --> 00:49:41,980
- Has that ogre
left my office yet?
1015
00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:43,883
- He just left with
Ms. Sternvirgin.
1016
00:49:44,215 --> 00:49:46,058
- I was referring
to Ms. Sternvirgin.
1017
00:49:46,383 --> 00:49:48,556
- What's she doing up there?
1018
00:49:50,187 --> 00:49:51,188
- Paying her debt to society,
1019
00:49:51,522 --> 00:49:52,193
what do you think?
1020
00:49:52,523 --> 00:49:53,194
- But Mr. Toedan,
1021
00:49:53,524 --> 00:49:54,195
I don't think.
1022
00:49:54,525 --> 00:49:55,196
10 seconds, Chuck!
1023
00:49:55,526 --> 00:49:56,197
- Time is money.
1024
00:49:56,527 --> 00:49:57,198
Gotta go!
1025
00:49:57,528 --> 00:49:58,199
- But Mr. Toedan!
1026
00:49:58,529 --> 00:49:59,200
- Come on Chuck!
1027
00:49:59,530 --> 00:50:00,133
We're ready to go!
1028
00:50:00,464 --> 00:50:01,033
- Mr. Toedan!
1029
00:50:01,365 --> 00:50:03,845
- Trudy, I'll talk to you later.
1030
00:50:07,071 --> 00:50:10,075
- Here we go, five, four, three.
1031
00:50:10,407 --> 00:50:12,387
- Two times a night.
1032
00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:21,563
Sometimes two and a half.
1033
00:50:22,887 --> 00:50:25,390
You're gonna love
your Italian lover.
1034
00:50:25,723 --> 00:50:28,226
- Well I'm conservative.
1035
00:50:28,559 --> 00:50:30,038
- Religion means nothing to me.
1036
00:50:34,231 --> 00:50:35,107
When I love somebody,
1037
00:50:35,432 --> 00:50:36,433
they stay loved.
1038
00:50:36,767 --> 00:50:39,247
You are lucky, lucky girl.
1039
00:50:39,570 --> 00:50:40,105
- Why me?
1040
00:50:41,772 --> 00:50:43,115
- There's only been one
other woman in my whole life
1041
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:44,282
for me.
1042
00:50:44,608 --> 00:50:45,609
- Well I'm sure if
you went back to her,
1043
00:50:45,943 --> 00:50:46,921
she'd welcome you
with open arms.
1044
00:50:47,244 --> 00:50:47,915
- Of course she would.
1045
00:50:48,245 --> 00:50:48,916
She's my mother.
1046
00:50:50,247 --> 00:50:51,089
I'd kill for her.
1047
00:50:51,415 --> 00:50:53,053
I have killed for her.
1048
00:50:53,384 --> 00:50:55,295
And I kill for you.
1049
00:51:00,624 --> 00:51:02,968
It's almost time for my mom
to get out of that show.
1050
00:51:03,294 --> 00:51:04,238
I want you's twos to meet.
1051
00:51:04,562 --> 00:51:05,632
You got so much in common.
1052
00:51:05,963 --> 00:51:07,101
- I can't imagine what.
1053
00:51:07,431 --> 00:51:09,104
- You're both my favorite women
1054
00:51:09,433 --> 00:51:11,435
and you're both so beautiful.
1055
00:51:22,112 --> 00:51:23,250
- Okay, you know what to do.
1056
00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:24,992
You have to get
these two cans of gas
1057
00:51:25,316 --> 00:51:26,158
to the end of the track.
1058
00:51:26,483 --> 00:51:27,723
If you can do that unruffled,
1059
00:51:28,052 --> 00:51:29,656
we have some great
prizes for you
1060
00:51:29,987 --> 00:51:32,297
and if you can do it in
less than 60 seconds,
1061
00:51:32,623 --> 00:51:36,070
we'll throw in a free two
year stay of execution!
1062
00:51:36,393 --> 00:51:36,996
- What's that?
1063
00:51:41,131 --> 00:51:42,166
- That means you can come back
1064
00:51:42,499 --> 00:51:43,978
and do this all again some day!
1065
00:51:44,301 --> 00:51:45,109
Ready?
1066
00:51:47,338 --> 00:51:48,749
Okay, here we go!
1067
00:51:55,346 --> 00:51:56,017
Ready,
1068
00:51:58,315 --> 00:51:59,259
set,
1069
00:52:02,086 --> 00:52:03,258
90!
1070
00:52:51,468 --> 00:52:53,311
Well, we almost had a winner.
1071
00:52:53,637 --> 00:52:55,048
What a gal.
1072
00:52:55,372 --> 00:52:56,646
While our crew is
putting out the fires,
1073
00:52:56,974 --> 00:52:58,044
we'll say goodbye for now.
1074
00:52:58,375 --> 00:53:01,879
I'm Chuck Toedan for
Live or Die, goodnight!
1075
00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:13,896
- Hey good show today.
1076
00:53:14,224 --> 00:53:15,100
- Yeah, felt good to me.
1077
00:53:15,426 --> 00:53:16,871
Feel good to you?
1078
00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:17,865
- Pacing was good.
1079
00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:19,333
One thing though.
1080
00:53:19,663 --> 00:53:20,334
- What?
1081
00:53:20,664 --> 00:53:21,335
- That contestant.
1082
00:53:21,665 --> 00:53:22,336
- Which one?
1083
00:53:22,666 --> 00:53:24,236
- The one who blew up.
1084
00:53:24,568 --> 00:53:26,241
- Oh yeah she was
sweet, wasn't she?
1085
00:53:26,570 --> 00:53:27,378
- She was sweet.
1086
00:53:27,705 --> 00:53:28,240
- Well?
1087
00:53:30,674 --> 00:53:32,176
- I don't think she
was supposed to be
1088
00:53:32,509 --> 00:53:33,351
a contestant.
1089
00:53:34,678 --> 00:53:36,180
- I don't need to hear
this from you, Trudy.
1090
00:53:36,513 --> 00:53:37,253
You know my policy.
1091
00:53:37,581 --> 00:53:38,787
Anyone on death row
can be a contestant,
1092
00:53:39,116 --> 00:53:40,117
man OI' woman,
1093
00:53:40,451 --> 00:53:41,122
young or old,
1094
00:53:41,452 --> 00:53:42,863
I do not discriminate.
1095
00:53:43,187 --> 00:53:46,361
- Chuck, can I talk
to you for a minute?
1096
00:53:49,426 --> 00:53:50,632
I can't seem to find
the release forms on
1097
00:53:50,961 --> 00:53:52,031
that contestant.
1098
00:53:52,362 --> 00:53:53,966
- What contestant?
1099
00:53:54,298 --> 00:53:55,299
- The old lady.
1100
00:53:55,632 --> 00:53:57,043
Nobody seems to know
where she came from.
1101
00:53:57,367 --> 00:53:58,402
We can't find any record.
1102
00:53:58,736 --> 00:53:59,407
- That's ridiculous.
1103
00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:01,148
She came from Attica Prison.
1104
00:54:01,472 --> 00:54:04,248
- Her uniform came
from Attica Prison.
1105
00:54:04,575 --> 00:54:05,315
- Don't bother me with details.
1106
00:54:05,642 --> 00:54:06,814
She lost anyway.
1107
00:54:13,484 --> 00:54:14,428
Trudy,
1108
00:54:15,452 --> 00:54:18,831
why don't you think
she was supposed
1109
00:54:19,156 --> 00:54:20,134
to be a contestant?
1110
00:54:20,457 --> 00:54:21,299
- Because she was supposed to be
1111
00:54:21,625 --> 00:54:23,298
on Make Your Big Deal.
1112
00:54:23,627 --> 00:54:24,935
That was Mrs. Pappalardo.
1113
00:54:30,467 --> 00:54:31,343
- That's funny.
1114
00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:34,675
That's really funny Trudy.
1115
00:54:36,473 --> 00:54:37,144
For a moment there,
1116
00:54:37,474 --> 00:54:38,145
I thought you were serious.
1117
00:54:39,843 --> 00:54:41,015
- I was serious.
1118
00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:46,355
- Stop it Trudy, will you'?
1119
00:54:48,185 --> 00:54:49,289
You will stop it, won't you?
1120
00:54:51,522 --> 00:54:52,796
Trudy'?
1121
00:54:53,123 --> 00:54:56,104
- I put her in the deal
line just like you told me.
1122
00:54:56,426 --> 00:54:58,963
- If you put her
in the deal line,
1123
00:55:00,831 --> 00:55:04,711
what the hell was she
doing dressed as a convict
1124
00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:05,672
on my show?
1125
00:55:08,205 --> 00:55:09,206
- That was her costume.
1126
00:55:09,540 --> 00:55:12,020
I don't know how she
got on the show, honest!
1127
00:55:12,342 --> 00:55:13,320
- Oh I showed her the way.
1128
00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:14,281
- You what?
1129
00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:19,221
- She was roaming in
the halls looking lost.
1130
00:55:19,550 --> 00:55:21,359
I know how you feel
about late contestants.
1131
00:55:37,334 --> 00:55:39,541
- Yeah I'm basically
a go-getter.
1132
00:55:39,870 --> 00:55:40,814
When I want something,
1133
00:55:41,138 --> 00:55:42,208
I get it.
1134
00:55:42,539 --> 00:55:44,212
I remember once
1135
00:55:44,541 --> 00:55:46,214
I was seven years old
1136
00:55:49,079 --> 00:55:51,320
and I found this lost puppy
1137
00:55:52,482 --> 00:55:54,587
and I loved that puppy
1138
00:55:54,918 --> 00:55:56,829
and my mama wouldn't
let me keep it.
1139
00:55:57,154 --> 00:55:58,155
So I killed it.
1140
00:55:59,656 --> 00:56:01,567
- Well it's getting late.
1141
00:56:01,892 --> 00:56:02,870
- Hey I understand.
1142
00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:04,331
You gotta go but
wasn't this nice?
1143
00:56:04,661 --> 00:56:06,402
- Yes, very nice.
1144
00:56:06,730 --> 00:56:08,266
I'll never forget it.
1145
00:56:08,599 --> 00:56:10,340
- Couldn't you just
do this forever'?
1146
00:56:10,667 --> 00:56:11,372
- And a day.
1147
00:56:11,702 --> 00:56:12,510
- You mean it'?
1148
00:56:12,836 --> 00:56:13,507
- Can we go now'?
1149
00:56:13,837 --> 00:56:14,508
. Hey everybody!
1150
00:56:14,838 --> 00:56:15,509
She asked me to marry her!
1151
00:56:15,839 --> 00:56:16,374
Oh God!
1152
00:56:22,613 --> 00:56:23,614
- How about this?
1153
00:56:23,947 --> 00:56:24,891
- Yes?
1154
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:26,421
- We tell him his
mother killed herself
1155
00:56:26,750 --> 00:56:29,731
'cause she didn't
get picked for Deal?
1156
00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:33,360
Too soap opera huh?
1157
00:56:34,524 --> 00:56:35,298
- Don't talk Trudy.
1158
00:56:35,626 --> 00:56:36,866
Just don't talk.
1159
00:56:37,194 --> 00:56:38,639
- Well I'm just trying to help!
1160
00:56:38,962 --> 00:56:40,202
- Don't help!
1161
00:56:40,530 --> 00:56:42,203
- Why are you getting mad at me?
1162
00:56:42,532 --> 00:56:44,409
I didn't kill his mother!
1163
00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:50,142
- Wait a minute.
1164
00:56:50,474 --> 00:56:52,317
Maybe we can edit that
portion out of the show.
1165
00:56:52,643 --> 00:56:53,917
Then there'll be nobody
for them to pin it on me.
1166
00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:55,245
Ed?
1167
00:56:55,579 --> 00:56:56,250
Yo.
1168
00:56:56,580 --> 00:56:57,285
- Do me a favor?
1169
00:56:57,614 --> 00:56:58,422
Queue up the last five
minutes of the show
1170
00:56:58,749 --> 00:56:59,454
we just did.
1171
00:56:59,783 --> 00:57:00,727
Why?
1172
00:57:01,051 --> 00:57:02,121
- I'm thinking of
editing the old lady out.
1173
00:57:02,452 --> 00:57:03,453
Editing her out?
1174
00:57:03,787 --> 00:57:05,095
That was the best
part of the show.
1175
00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:06,093
- Don't argue with me.
1176
00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:07,401
I've got my reasons.
1177
00:57:07,724 --> 00:57:08,464
How long will it take
for you to queue it up?
1178
00:57:08,792 --> 00:57:09,930
Give
me a few minutes.
1179
00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:10,931
- Hurry UP-
1180
00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:11,932
I gotta see it now.
1181
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:12,899
- See what?
1182
00:57:13,230 --> 00:57:13,765
- Nothing!
1183
00:57:19,569 --> 00:57:21,105
- Excuse me I'm just.
1184
00:57:22,572 --> 00:57:23,448
Nice shirt.
1185
00:57:23,774 --> 00:57:25,014
- Hey guess what?
1186
00:57:26,677 --> 00:57:27,815
. L give up!
1187
00:57:28,145 --> 00:57:29,818
- Me and the little bitch
are gonna get hitched.
1188
00:57:30,147 --> 00:57:31,490
- Hitched, you mean married'?
1189
00:57:31,815 --> 00:57:32,623
- That's it.
1190
00:57:32,950 --> 00:57:33,985
- It's nothing like that.
1191
00:57:34,318 --> 00:57:35,296
What happened was.
1192
00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:36,256
- Hey, hey, hey, just
stand and look cute
1193
00:57:36,586 --> 00:57:37,360
you pretty broad.
1194
00:57:37,688 --> 00:57:38,359
- Congratulations!
1195
00:57:38,689 --> 00:57:40,498
- Hey thanks, I'm so excited.
1196
00:57:40,824 --> 00:57:41,859
I gotta take a dump.
1197
00:57:42,192 --> 00:57:42,863
Where's the can?
1198
00:57:43,193 --> 00:57:44,103
- Over there.
1199
00:57:44,428 --> 00:57:46,772
- Hey, thanks,
I'll be right back.
1200
00:57:48,031 --> 00:57:49,533
- Do you have any
idea what you've done?
1201
00:57:49,866 --> 00:57:51,038
- What I've done?
1202
00:57:51,368 --> 00:57:52,369
- Thanks to you,
1203
00:57:52,703 --> 00:57:55,183
I've had the pleasure of
dining with a human rectum.
1204
00:57:55,505 --> 00:57:57,815
- Lady, I got my own problems.
1205
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:03,484
- Listen, you tell that
charm school drop out
1206
00:58:03,814 --> 00:58:05,157
in there that I'm
not interested.
1207
00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:06,552
- Leave me alone.
1208
00:58:08,885 --> 00:58:10,228
Geez, that
looks just like Florida.
1209
00:58:10,554 --> 00:58:11,965
- You know I thought
I had problems before
1210
00:58:12,289 --> 00:58:14,132
but they were minor
until I met you.
1211
00:58:14,458 --> 00:58:15,163
Thanks to you,
1212
00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:16,402
I have been shot at,
1213
00:58:16,727 --> 00:58:18,900
threatened, humiliated,
and wined and dined
1214
00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:20,708
by the poster
child for assholes.
1215
00:58:21,031 --> 00:58:23,204
Now the son of a bitch
thinks I'm gonna marry him.
1216
00:58:23,533 --> 00:58:25,308
You better get me
out of this one.
1217
00:58:25,635 --> 00:58:27,376
If I don't marry him,
1218
00:58:27,704 --> 00:58:28,682
he'll kill me.
1219
00:58:30,807 --> 00:58:33,583
- Well when he finds out
what happened to his mama,
1220
00:58:33,910 --> 00:58:35,355
he'll kill me.
1221
00:58:35,679 --> 00:58:36,555
- His mama?
1222
00:58:38,815 --> 00:58:42,524
Oh I don't
remember eating walnuts.
1223
00:58:45,989 --> 00:58:47,935
- Look I'm really sorry you
got involved in all this
1224
00:58:48,258 --> 00:58:49,737
but nobody told you
to protest my show
1225
00:58:50,060 --> 00:58:51,061
or ride in my car
1226
00:58:51,395 --> 00:58:52,601
or come here today.
1227
00:58:52,929 --> 00:58:53,930
- I don't care.
1228
00:58:54,264 --> 00:58:55,004
You tell grunt face in there
that I'm not gonna have
1229
00:58:55,332 --> 00:58:57,073
anything to do with him!
1230
00:58:58,435 --> 00:58:59,539
'He)' YOU guys gotta see this!
1231
00:58:59,870 --> 00:59:00,575
What a masterpiece!
1232
00:59:02,039 --> 00:59:02,676
Hey Toehead!
1233
00:59:03,006 --> 00:59:04,007
Gloriabitch!
1234
00:59:04,341 --> 00:59:05,786
The hell you hiding?
1235
00:59:06,109 --> 00:59:09,522
Okay Chuck
we're ready to roll it.
1236
00:59:09,846 --> 00:59:11,553
It should be coming
up on the monitor now.
1237
00:59:11,882 --> 00:59:14,692
- Yeah this must be
Make Your Big Deal.
1238
00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:29,434
Mama!
1239
00:59:49,453 --> 00:59:50,659
Is that okay'?
1240
00:59:50,987 --> 00:59:51,829
- Was what okay'?
1241
00:59:52,155 --> 00:59:53,566
The playback.
1242
01:00:02,265 --> 01:00:04,336
- You killed my mama!
1243
01:00:04,668 --> 01:00:05,806
- I didn't know who she was!
1244
01:00:06,136 --> 01:00:07,479
- You killed my mama!
1245
01:00:07,804 --> 01:00:09,249
- How about a free copy
of the show on tape?
1246
01:00:09,573 --> 01:00:11,109
- You killed my mama!
1247
01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:12,681
- She was pretty old anyway!
1248
01:00:15,946 --> 01:00:16,686
- Oh my God!
1249
01:00:17,681 --> 01:00:18,523
Is he dead?
1250
01:00:18,849 --> 01:00:20,851
- No but we will be
when he comes to.
1251
01:00:21,184 --> 01:00:22,026
- Well you gotta kill him.
1252
01:00:22,352 --> 01:00:23,092
- Kill him'?
1253
01:00:23,420 --> 01:00:24,694
I'm not a murderer.
1254
01:00:25,021 --> 01:00:25,829
- Oh come on you kill people
on your show all the time.
1255
01:00:26,156 --> 01:00:26,827
That's different!
1256
01:00:27,157 --> 01:00:27,828
- How is that different?
1257
01:00:28,158 --> 01:00:29,637
- They're convicts on death row!
1258
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:30,631
- So what'?
1259
01:00:34,831 --> 01:00:37,607
- I can't murder him
and that's final!
1260
01:00:52,983 --> 01:00:53,791
Okay folks let's move on
1261
01:00:54,117 --> 01:00:55,687
to our next segment.
1262
01:00:57,787 --> 01:00:58,731
Let's see
1263
01:00:59,055 --> 01:01:00,693
8981 can you hear me?
1264
01:01:04,394 --> 01:01:05,702
Can you hear me?
1265
01:01:07,664 --> 01:01:08,540
Okay, you'll notice
in front of you,
1266
01:01:08,865 --> 01:01:10,139
a bunch of building blocks.
1267
01:01:10,467 --> 01:01:11,377
When properly assembled,
1268
01:01:11,701 --> 01:01:14,341
they spell out the
words I want to live.
1269
01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:16,150
Your job is to
assemble those blocks
1270
01:01:16,473 --> 01:01:18,885
in the shortest amount of time.
1271
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:21,045
Ready,
1272
01:01:21,845 --> 01:01:22,846
begin.
1273
01:01:27,017 --> 01:01:28,690
What he doesn't know is
that he's slowly sucking out
1274
01:01:29,019 --> 01:01:30,521
all the oxygen from the booth
1275
01:01:30,854 --> 01:01:32,333
as he gets the blocks assembled.
1276
01:01:32,656 --> 01:01:34,329
So he better hurry.
1277
01:02:18,468 --> 01:02:20,448
Well it looks like our
friend has run out of air.
1278
01:02:20,770 --> 01:02:22,613
Too bad, we were
all rooting for him,
1279
01:02:22,939 --> 01:02:23,610
weren't we?
1280
01:02:26,109 --> 01:02:27,452
Well, it looks like
we're running out of
1281
01:02:27,777 --> 01:02:28,482
air time ourselves
1282
01:02:28,812 --> 01:02:30,951
so that's it for this
segment of Live or Die.
1283
01:02:31,281 --> 01:02:32,954
I'm Chuck Toedan, goodnight!
1284
01:02:38,121 --> 01:02:40,260
And we're out.
1285
01:02:40,590 --> 01:02:42,501
- Chuck, this is really weird.
1286
01:02:42,826 --> 01:02:43,736
- What is'?
1287
01:02:44,060 --> 01:02:45,232
- Well I can't find any
release forms on this
1288
01:02:45,562 --> 01:02:46,836
convict either.
1289
01:02:47,163 --> 01:02:48,471
Second time that's
happened today.
1290
01:02:48,798 --> 01:02:51,176
- Don't talk to me about it.
1291
01:02:51,501 --> 01:02:53,947
That's for our
filing department.
1292
01:02:59,075 --> 01:03:01,817
Did you watch it
on the monitors?
1293
01:03:05,181 --> 01:03:06,751
It's all over.
1294
01:03:52,195 --> 01:03:53,003
- Oh Chuck.
1295
01:03:54,964 --> 01:03:56,068
Oh Chuck.
1296
01:03:56,399 --> 01:03:57,241
Chuck, Chuck.
1297
01:04:00,637 --> 01:04:02,981
Is your mind on something else?
1298
01:04:04,341 --> 01:04:06,912
- Whatever gave you that idea?
1299
01:04:07,243 --> 01:04:08,517
- Just a feeling.
1300
01:04:27,831 --> 01:04:29,276
- What the hell is this?
1301
01:04:29,599 --> 01:04:31,772
- No one's got
permission to speak here.
1302
01:04:32,102 --> 01:04:33,274
- Hey where the hell am I?
1303
01:04:33,603 --> 01:04:36,846
- You're supposed
to be in heaven.
1304
01:04:37,173 --> 01:04:37,708
- Ma!
1305
01:04:38,942 --> 01:04:39,886
Ma!
1306
01:04:41,177 --> 01:04:41,848
Mama!
1307
01:04:44,013 --> 01:04:47,392
Toedan, I'm gonna kill
that son of a bitch.
1308
01:04:49,018 --> 01:04:50,292
- Well wait a minute.
1309
01:04:50,620 --> 01:04:51,963
You're not supposed
to leave here.
1310
01:04:52,288 --> 01:04:53,892
I was told you were dead.
1311
01:05:01,030 --> 01:05:02,771
- I'm giving it up Ed.
1312
01:05:03,099 --> 01:05:05,875
The show is just
too much for me.
1313
01:05:06,202 --> 01:05:08,375
Think I'd rather deal in
something a bit calmer.
1314
01:05:08,705 --> 01:05:09,979
Death and convicts
are beginning to take
1315
01:05:10,306 --> 01:05:11,546
their toll on me-.
1316
01:05:11,875 --> 01:05:12,876
- Oh but you can't quit now.
1317
01:05:13,209 --> 01:05:14,779
We have a contract
with the network.
1318
01:05:15,111 --> 01:05:16,215
- You can find a new host.
1319
01:05:16,546 --> 01:05:17,547
- Oh but the show is you.
1320
01:05:17,881 --> 01:05:18,985
. I'm sorry Ed.
1321
01:05:19,315 --> 01:05:20,658
My mind's made up.
1322
01:05:20,984 --> 01:05:21,985
What's come over you'?
1323
01:05:22,318 --> 01:05:23,160
Truth is
I'm in love with
1324
01:05:23,486 --> 01:05:25,466
a moralistic, wonderful woman.
1325
01:05:25,789 --> 01:05:26,961
She helped me to realize
that what I'm doing
1326
01:05:27,290 --> 01:05:28,166
is all wrong.
1327
01:05:28,491 --> 01:05:29,595
The only way she
might even consider
1328
01:05:29,926 --> 01:05:31,803
accepting me, is if
I give this all up.
1329
01:05:32,128 --> 01:05:35,769
- Listen, could you at
least finish out the day?
1330
01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:37,737
We only have one
more show to tape.
1331
01:05:38,067 --> 01:05:40,946
Would you at least
do that much for me'?
1332
01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:44,980
- Okay, but after
tonight's taping that's it.
1333
01:05:49,245 --> 01:05:50,019
- Gloria, sweet bitch.
1334
01:05:50,346 --> 01:05:50,915
Is Toehead in there?
1335
01:05:51,247 --> 01:05:52,191
- Oh no, no.
1336
01:05:52,515 --> 01:05:53,858
I was just looking
for him myself.
1337
01:05:54,184 --> 01:05:54,821
- I'm gonna kill
that son of a bitch.
1338
01:05:55,151 --> 01:05:55,925
You know what he tried to do?
1339
01:05:56,252 --> 01:05:57,253
- No what?
1340
01:05:57,587 --> 01:05:57,997
- He tried to kill our
wedding by killing me.
1341
01:05:58,321 --> 01:05:59,322
He killed my Mama.
1342
01:05:59,656 --> 01:06:00,828
I'm gonna kill him painfully.
1343
01:06:01,157 --> 01:06:02,693
- Well I think he's
downstairs somewhere.
1344
01:06:03,026 --> 01:06:03,766
- You do'?
1345
01:06:04,093 --> 01:06:05,037
Let's go get him.
1346
01:06:05,361 --> 01:06:05,964
I bet you'd like to
see him dead too huh?
1347
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:07,331
- Oh what makes you think that'?
1348
01:06:07,664 --> 01:06:09,507
- He almost wasted the most
precious thing you've got, me!
1349
01:06:09,833 --> 01:06:11,278
- Oh well I don't think.
1350
01:06:11,601 --> 01:06:12,773
- Come on, let's
kill him together!
1351
01:06:13,102 --> 01:06:13,637
- Okay.
1352
01:06:20,143 --> 01:06:22,020
I think he's in here.
1353
01:06:22,345 --> 01:06:22,948
- What makes you
think he's in here?
1354
01:06:23,279 --> 01:06:24,383
- Just a hunch.
1355
01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:25,692
- I don't see him.
1356
01:06:26,015 --> 01:06:27,722
- He might be hiding
in the back somewhere.
1357
01:06:28,051 --> 01:06:29,621
- Hey what's going on?
1358
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:31,790
- It's stuck!
1359
01:06:32,121 --> 01:06:32,963
- Hey get me out of here!
1360
01:06:33,289 --> 01:06:34,495
- Hold tight, I'll get somebody!
1361
01:06:34,824 --> 01:06:37,134
- Come on hurry up, I get
claustrophobia in closed places!
1362
01:06:39,863 --> 01:06:40,967
It's time
for the most exciting game
1363
01:06:41,297 --> 01:06:43,538
in America, Live or Die
1364
01:06:43,867 --> 01:06:45,471
and here's the host
and star of the show,
1365
01:06:45,802 --> 01:06:47,304
Chuck Toedan!
1366
01:06:51,174 --> 01:06:51,914
- Hello everybody
1367
01:06:52,242 --> 01:06:53,380
and welcome to Live or Die.
1368
01:06:53,710 --> 01:06:55,815
Let's start the
first game shall we?
1369
01:06:56,145 --> 01:06:56,816
- Chuck, Luigi's alive
1370
01:06:57,146 --> 01:06:58,489
and he's gonna kill!
1371
01:06:59,749 --> 01:07:00,727
- The name of this segment is
1372
01:07:01,050 --> 01:07:02,586
Hunger or Lust?
1373
01:07:02,919 --> 01:07:03,920
In the cage over there,
1374
01:07:04,254 --> 01:07:06,325
we have a convict from
San Lusipisbo Prison
1375
01:07:06,656 --> 01:07:08,397
who has been in
solitary confinement
1376
01:07:08,725 --> 01:07:10,204
for 15 years.
1377
01:07:10,527 --> 01:07:12,336
He has eaten nothing
but bread and Twinkies
1378
01:07:12,662 --> 01:07:13,732
in all that time.
1379
01:07:14,063 --> 01:07:15,007
Likewise,
1380
01:07:15,331 --> 01:07:17,675
he has never seen a
woman in all that time.
1381
01:07:18,001 --> 01:07:18,911
Our question is
1382
01:07:19,235 --> 01:07:21,943
what will dominate,
hunger or lust?
1383
01:07:22,272 --> 01:07:23,512
In front of our subject we
have placed a beautiful roast
1384
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:27,583
turkey, courtesy of
Sucky Ducky Supermarkets.
1385
01:07:27,911 --> 01:07:29,948
Right next to it we have a
our lovely Shanna Shallow
1386
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:31,691
coming out to strut her stuff.
1387
01:07:32,015 --> 01:07:33,460
When we open the cage,
1388
01:07:33,783 --> 01:07:35,057
what will he go for'?
1389
01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:37,092
The bird or the girl'?
1390
01:07:38,855 --> 01:07:40,129
What will he satisfy first?
1391
01:07:40,456 --> 01:07:43,130
His appetite or his winky?
1392
01:07:43,459 --> 01:07:45,063
You mark your
answers on the cards
1393
01:07:45,395 --> 01:07:46,430
we've placed in front of you.
1394
01:07:46,763 --> 01:07:49,471
Guess right and we have
some nifty prizes for you.
1395
01:07:49,799 --> 01:07:52,211
Guess wrong and
well look above you.
1396
01:07:52,535 --> 01:07:56,108
You'll see 100 pound sandbags
above each of your heads.
1397
01:07:56,439 --> 01:07:57,474
You know what you'll get.
1398
01:08:00,109 --> 01:08:00,746
All right, ready to begin?
1399
01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:02,112
Mark your answers.
1400
01:08:02,445 --> 01:08:03,583
What'll it be, sex
1401
01:08:05,648 --> 01:08:07,059
or food'?
1402
01:08:09,552 --> 01:08:10,929
Answers in place?
1403
01:08:12,322 --> 01:08:14,097
Okay, open the cage!
1404
01:08:38,915 --> 01:08:39,689
Hey let
me out of here!
1405
01:08:40,016 --> 01:08:42,189
Somebody let me out of here!
1406
01:08:45,688 --> 01:08:46,792
- I thought I heard
someone in there.
1407
01:08:47,790 --> 01:08:49,326
- About fucking time!
1408
01:09:38,675 --> 01:09:39,346
- Shit!
1409
01:09:39,676 --> 01:09:41,155
You, that's it you guys.
1410
01:09:41,477 --> 01:09:42,319
Come on you, both of you,
1411
01:09:42,645 --> 01:09:44,591
throw your guns over here.
1412
01:09:47,583 --> 01:09:49,062
- No, don't kill him!
1413
01:09:49,385 --> 01:09:50,022
- Hey I understand.
1414
01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:51,263
You want to do it huh.
1415
01:09:51,587 --> 01:09:54,067
Yeah take the gun my
little hot beef delight.
1416
01:09:54,390 --> 01:09:55,232
Yeah, go ahead.
1417
01:10:01,497 --> 01:10:02,441
- You stupid bitch,
learn how to aim, man!
1418
01:10:02,765 --> 01:10:04,039
- Hands on your head, Luigi!
1419
01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:05,209
- Hey fuck it, fuck it man.
1420
01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:06,240
Point it at Toehead, not me.
1421
01:10:06,569 --> 01:10:07,741
- Do it!
1422
01:10:08,071 --> 01:10:11,518
- I have a good mind to
call off the wedding.
1423
01:10:21,617 --> 01:10:24,860
All right, now the gun's
on the other foot huh?
1424
01:10:27,690 --> 01:10:28,794
Okay, all of yous.
1425
01:10:29,125 --> 01:10:29,796
Let's go in the cage.
1426
01:10:30,126 --> 01:10:30,797
Get in there!
1427
01:10:31,127 --> 01:10:32,071
Come on, let's go, move it!
1428
01:10:32,395 --> 01:10:33,100
Move it, get in
there tubbo, come on!
1429
01:10:33,429 --> 01:10:34,635
Not yous.
1430
01:10:34,964 --> 01:10:35,874
Get in there.
1431
01:10:37,066 --> 01:10:39,137
Come on, get in there.
1432
01:10:39,469 --> 01:10:40,948
Let's go, let's go, come on.
1433
01:10:41,270 --> 01:10:43,477
Come on black man, get in there.
1434
01:10:43,806 --> 01:10:45,649
Get in there you homo.
1435
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:56,552
Okay, who wants to see
Toehead play his own game?
1436
01:10:56,886 --> 01:10:57,421
- Yeah!
1437
01:11:08,498 --> 01:11:09,602
- Okay everybody,
1438
01:11:09,932 --> 01:11:13,846
now we're gonna do a
new show starring me.
1439
01:11:14,170 --> 01:11:17,674
The name of this show is
Toehead kisses his ass goodbye
1440
01:11:18,007 --> 01:11:19,987
show, special guest Gloria bitch
1441
01:11:20,309 --> 01:11:21,117
who I was gonna marry
1442
01:11:21,444 --> 01:11:22,184
but not anymore
1443
01:11:22,512 --> 01:11:23,855
because she's gonna be dead too.
1444
01:11:27,517 --> 01:11:28,257
Oh it's definitely.
1445
01:11:28,584 --> 01:11:30,291
You guys is free to go.
1446
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,327
Hey, I said you free,
why ain't you moving?
1447
01:11:32,655 --> 01:11:34,259
- We want to watch this!
1448
01:11:39,695 --> 01:11:42,175
- Let the game begin!
1449
01:11:46,636 --> 01:11:49,173
Now the name of this
game is the revenge game.
1450
01:11:49,505 --> 01:11:51,712
We're gonna start sucking
the air out of there.
1451
01:11:52,041 --> 01:11:53,486
Sound familiar?
1452
01:11:53,810 --> 01:11:56,051
What you gotta do is convince me
1453
01:11:56,379 --> 01:11:58,450
why the fuck I
should let you live
1454
01:11:58,781 --> 01:12:01,523
before you run out of oxygen.
1455
01:12:01,851 --> 01:12:03,455
This is a good game.
1456
01:12:05,988 --> 01:12:08,867
- I'm sorry I got
you into all this.
1457
01:12:10,026 --> 01:12:10,902
- It's okay.
1458
01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:17,670
- Aw!
1459
01:12:19,635 --> 01:12:20,739
- Come on kids.
1460
01:12:21,070 --> 01:12:22,743
Don't get yourselves
breathing too hard.
1461
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:31,256
Hey, what's the matter?
1462
01:12:31,581 --> 01:12:33,151
You got that sinking feeling.
1463
01:12:43,559 --> 01:12:45,232
- Chuckie, Chuckie, okay, okay!
1464
01:12:45,561 --> 01:12:46,232
I just shot someone!
1465
01:12:46,562 --> 01:12:47,404
That'll get me on death row,
1466
01:12:47,730 --> 01:12:48,708
can I be on your game show now?
1467
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:49,736
Can I, can I?
1468
01:12:50,066 --> 01:12:51,409
So what do you say?
1469
01:12:51,734 --> 01:12:52,542
You got connections,
1470
01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:53,711
do I get to be on
your show or what?
1471
01:12:54,036 --> 01:12:56,016
Oh is this an aptitude test'?
1472
01:12:56,339 --> 01:12:57,443
I can do that.
1473
01:13:05,715 --> 01:13:06,523
I don't get it.
1474
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:08,888
You're going to sleep?
1475
01:13:09,218 --> 01:13:09,889
What do you want me to do?
1476
01:13:11,954 --> 01:13:13,900
I don't understand!
1477
01:13:14,223 --> 01:13:16,464
Maybe if I get the door open.
1478
01:13:49,292 --> 01:13:50,327
Hold on, yes or no'?
1479
01:13:50,660 --> 01:13:51,331
Yes or no?
1480
01:13:55,765 --> 01:13:57,073
- Son of a bitch.
1481
01:13:59,568 --> 01:14:00,512
- But what about
that little guy?
1482
01:14:00,836 --> 01:14:03,339
- Don't worry, he got his wish.
1483
01:14:06,008 --> 01:14:07,112
- I can't believe
we're still alive.
1484
01:14:07,443 --> 01:14:08,319
- Believe it!
1485
01:14:31,133 --> 01:14:33,511
- Is that a wrap for the day?
1486
01:14:46,282 --> 01:14:48,387
- Gloria, there comes a
time in every man's life
1487
01:14:48,718 --> 01:14:51,164
where he must make a decision.
1488
01:14:51,487 --> 01:14:52,864
Well I made one.
1489
01:14:53,189 --> 01:14:55,135
- You're giving
up the game show?
1490
01:14:55,458 --> 01:14:57,460
- I'm giving up the game.
1491
01:14:57,793 --> 01:14:59,295
How did you know'?
1492
01:15:06,168 --> 01:15:09,342
What am I gonna do with a
room full of dead bodies?
1493
01:15:09,672 --> 01:15:12,585
- Oh I'm sure you'll
think of something.
1494
01:15:13,976 --> 01:15:15,683
- Chuck Toedan here
for Climax Watches.
1495
01:15:16,012 --> 01:15:18,652
I'm here with ex game
show contestant 4377
1496
01:15:18,981 --> 01:15:20,324
to help out with a demonstration
1497
01:15:20,649 --> 01:15:23,562
to test the durability
of Climax Watches.
1498
01:15:34,563 --> 01:15:36,065
It's still ticking.
1499
01:15:36,399 --> 01:15:37,673
Kids, don't try this at home
1500
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,446
unless you have a Climax Watch.
1501
01:15:42,905 --> 01:15:44,748
Hello I'm Chuck Toedan.
1502
01:15:45,074 --> 01:15:46,747
Are you tired of
being burglarized?
1503
01:15:47,076 --> 01:15:49,454
Try the new Electrozappy Fence.
1504
01:15:56,719 --> 01:15:58,062
We've asked Mr. Make here
1505
01:15:58,387 --> 01:16:01,630
to demonstrate the sharpness
of his Stay Sharp Enso Knives.
1506
01:16:05,928 --> 01:16:07,771
He's slicing up 3435 to
show our that these knives
1507
01:16:08,097 --> 01:16:09,474
always stay sharp.
1508
01:16:09,799 --> 01:16:12,575
He's going through
skin, bone, clothes,
1509
01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:14,404
rigor mortis.
1510
01:16:16,939 --> 01:16:18,441
And still it keeps its edge.
1511
01:16:23,479 --> 01:16:24,787
What happens to
ordinary eyeglasses
1512
01:16:25,114 --> 01:16:26,252
when there's any impact?
1513
01:16:30,319 --> 01:16:31,923
That's why you need
new, specially treated,
1514
01:16:32,254 --> 01:16:34,825
scratch-resistant
No Breako Glasses.
1515
01:16:40,663 --> 01:16:42,734
Notice how flies
gather around 8364,
1516
01:16:43,065 --> 01:16:44,339
the untreated corpse'?
1517
01:16:44,667 --> 01:16:47,614
But 2275 the corpse
sprayed with Fly Be Gone
1518
01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:48,677
is fly free.
1519
01:16:52,274 --> 01:16:56,745
♪ Put you in the driver seat
1520
01:17:00,850 --> 01:17:02,659
Yes our ties are made of
the strongest material
1521
01:17:02,985 --> 01:17:05,363
that won't rip,
tear, or stretch.
1522
01:17:10,259 --> 01:17:11,602
We've been asked to
show the gripping power
1523
01:17:11,927 --> 01:17:14,635
of the new Acne Chew
Em Up Tree Shredder.
1524
01:17:18,701 --> 01:17:21,614
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1525
01:17:22,938 --> 01:17:25,817
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1526
01:17:29,945 --> 01:17:32,619
♪ But if you lose
1527
01:17:33,849 --> 01:17:36,693
♪ You will be no more
1528
01:17:38,521 --> 01:17:41,001
♪ Don't waste it
brother, bye bye
1529
01:17:41,323 --> 01:17:43,564
♪ Later baby
1530
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:48,365
♪ Live or die is
what they call it
1531
01:17:48,697 --> 01:17:49,675
♪ So don't be shy
1532
01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:51,034
♪ Just knock get on it
1533
01:17:51,367 --> 01:17:53,210
♪ Door number one,
door number two
1534
01:17:53,536 --> 01:17:55,743
♪ Where oh where
is the door for you
1535
01:17:56,071 --> 01:17:57,072
♪ Now is it three
1536
01:17:57,406 --> 01:17:58,407
♪ Get off your knees
1537
01:17:58,741 --> 01:17:59,549
♪ Boy don't you know
1538
01:17:59,875 --> 01:18:01,218
♪ You're on TV
1539
01:18:01,544 --> 01:18:04,684
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1540
01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:06,220
♪ It's the only way to go
1541
01:18:06,549 --> 01:18:09,928
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1542
01:18:10,252 --> 01:18:13,233
♪ But if you lose
1543
01:18:13,556 --> 01:18:16,537
♪ You will be no more
1544
01:18:20,396 --> 01:18:22,706
♪ The prizes here are very odd
1545
01:18:23,032 --> 01:18:26,570
♪ But where else can you lose
1546
01:18:27,836 --> 01:18:30,612
I And shake the hand oi God
1547
01:18:30,940 --> 01:18:32,920
♪ I think of all the crime
committed in this town
1548
01:18:33,242 --> 01:18:34,448
IAnd think of all the criminals
1549
01:18:34,777 --> 01:18:35,517
♪ Just sitting around
1550
01:18:35,844 --> 01:18:37,949
♪ Waiting for their
punishment that's overdue
1551
01:18:38,280 --> 01:18:40,556
♪ Where one can give
them something to do
1552
01:18:40,883 --> 01:18:41,759
♪ They could have fun
1553
01:18:42,084 --> 01:18:43,188
♪ They could win money
1554
01:18:43,519 --> 01:18:44,429
♪ But if they lose
1555
01:18:44,753 --> 01:18:45,629
♪ It's bye bye honey
1556
01:18:45,955 --> 01:18:49,061
♪ See you later sucker
1557
01:18:50,025 --> 01:18:52,904
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1558
01:18:54,763 --> 01:18:56,140
♪ It's the only way to go
1559
01:18:56,465 --> 01:18:59,878
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1560
01:19:00,202 --> 01:19:02,978
♪ But if you lose
1561
01:19:03,305 --> 01:19:06,650
♪ You will be no more
1562
01:19:51,954 --> 01:19:54,491
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1563
01:19:54,823 --> 01:19:56,166
♪ It's the only way to go
1564
01:19:56,492 --> 01:19:59,200
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1565
01:19:59,528 --> 01:20:01,269
♪ It's the only way to go
1566
01:20:01,597 --> 01:20:05,044
♪ Deathrow Gameshow
1567
01:20:05,367 --> 01:20:08,314
♪ But if you lose
1568
01:20:08,637 --> 01:20:12,608
♪ You will be no more
1569
01:20:21,183 --> 01:20:22,958
- I'm afraid of no one!
105113
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