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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,880
This programme contains
strong language.
2
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:07,240
I'm Stath, nice to meet you,
for the love of God. Hello.
3
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,680
Do you know, this whole
building's brand spanking new?
4
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,000
Even the bricks is fresh
in the back this morning,
5
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:15,320
by the builder, the baker...
The candlestick maker.
6
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,840
..the candle man.
7
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,800
What...w...what did you say?
8
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The candlestick maker.
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Why did you say that?
10
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Have a look around.
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It doesn't seem to have a hod.
12
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:32,200
Or was it a hog? With the pots.
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A hob? Ooh, careful.
Excuse me, excuse me.
14
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,720
Go, go, go, go. OK.
15
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,160
I think this might be the hob.
Yeah, that's the hob.
16
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,560
So it cooks as well? Has it got
Netflix on it or whatever?
17
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,760
No. It just cooks.
18
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,600
That's enough chargements to
charge your phone, your telly,
19
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,160
your kettle, all at the same time,
giving them equal chargements.
20
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,840
Do you mind if I just
show myself around?
21
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,880
No, you need me to do it.
22
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,840
That's the cupboard.
23
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,760
Yeah. Quickly. That is
like the windows opening.
24
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,320
Right. And inside... And outside,
it's all bowls, baby.
25
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:03,720
House.
AI: Hello.
26
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,760
What's the weather like today?
Why did it go blue?
27
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,080
The temperature is 14 degrees.
28
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,640
HE GASPS
29
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,760
Yeah, it just tells you, like,
what the weather is.
30
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,320
You can't... You shouldn't do that.
31
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What do I say, house? You say,
"House." Ha... All right.
32
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,920
Is it nice when the...when
you're happy?
33
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,680
It's nice to be happy.
34
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,280
I can't help but agree.
35
00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:25,520
That's lovely.
36
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,040
Oh, my God.
37
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,920
This looks like it's seen
better days.
38
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:32,000
Those kids I was telling you about
made it get smashed.
39
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,640
If you say, "House, can you
play heavy metal?"
40
00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,160
HEAVY METAL PLAYS
41
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,320
♪ The colour of the jacket
goes with the wall
42
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♪ And the skirt goes with the
pipe...colour. ♪
43
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,520
Do you want to rent the flat?
I'm sorry.
44
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,320
Oh. No, sorry.
45
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,360
Oooh.
46
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:50,400
If we were to take it,
would you be who we dealt with?
47
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,560
Yeah. Yeah, at your office,
we met this guy, Julian.
48
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,720
He was great and if there was maybe
a way to... But do you not like me?
49
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,040
It's weird to say,
but not really, no.
50
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,680
So...
51
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,120
..so honest.
52
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,960
They're funny, middle names,
aren't they? I forget mine.
53
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,240
Lovely, there you go.
54
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,800
You've got yourself your
very own two-bed.
55
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,520
It's like, oh, to bed or not to bed?
56
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,480
Who said that? All right. Yeah.
57
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,880
You've got so much paper on you. Oh.
58
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,080
Oh, yes, team!
59
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,200
Little coffee, is it?
60
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,840
Gorgeous little cafe!
61
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,840
Is that from the bean daddy?
The defibrillator.
62
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,400
Baaah.
63
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,640
Quality having you up front.
Striker!
64
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:44,120
Right, you lot, gather round in
five minutes for a screening.
65
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,520
It's going to blow your cocks
into your minds!
66
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,680
Sophie! Coffee, sushi, and your £40.
67
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,280
Oh, Jules, you missed it, I went to
her, "To bed or not to bed,"
68
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:55,840
it was so funny. Can I have a...?
69
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,760
Did you just see? Julian got
his knickers out,
70
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,480
strip-club naked style, innit? Ooh!
71
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:01,960
LAUGHING: Put it away.
72
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,760
No, I mean, it's good to see
the whole person sometimes.
73
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,400
It's funny you
being at the back now.
74
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,240
Cos you can be naughty, innit.
75
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,560
Swearing and whispering. Yeah.
76
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:15,000
HE CHUCKLES
77
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,760
Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks,
to the whole lot of you.
78
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,520
What were you listening to?
79
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,760
Ooh, well just a little track
from a little, er...
80
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,840
..from you. It's so refreshing to
hear women singing, for once.
81
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,240
Me and Katia do want to tell
our story, you know,
82
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,040
the dramas and pains we're living
every day and night.
83
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,000
Wait, who's done a track? Me
and Katia done a song on her phone.
84
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,200
We're actually really
confident with it.
85
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,440
Did you get my e-mail?
86
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,920
HE LAUGHS
No.
87
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,960
What is it? A slow jam, yeah?
88
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,200
It's women's R&B, I think.
89
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:49,440
What is that?
90
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,680
Does Tomoko like drama music,
91
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,440
cos maybe she could share it
with her Japan friends?
92
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,960
Ah, yeah. Oh, God, she's
obsessed with drama music.
93
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,080
♪ Oh, my, God, there's
a guard in the club... ♪
94
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,800
HE LAUGHS
# Somebody buy me a drink
95
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,320
♪ Hey, get out of my way... ♪
96
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,640
Ha! It's the tennis lord.
97
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,920
Wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah.
98
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,040
It's the shoot it, tennis goal.
99
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,160
Nice return!
100
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,400
Rag a da... Yeah.
101
00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,200
I've never played tennis,
actually, ever.
102
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:17,280
All right.
103
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,440
Stath, I've got to make a
coffee, but, very quickly,
104
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,160
did you love the track I sent?
105
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,680
Obviously. It's boofting, oh, my...
Have I not said that yet?
106
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,280
Oi, listen to the track
I sent you. It is dead.
107
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:29,640
I love you.
108
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,000
Why are you at the back?
109
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,080
Oh. What, did Julian put you here?
110
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,720
It's like I've been deported.
111
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,160
HE CHUCKLES
112
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,680
Obviously, not really.
Real deportation is hell.
113
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,040
Still, though, I love how he's
mimbling around the office
114
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,520
like he's better than life's bread.
115
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,840
Do you know what I mean?
Like, changing everything.
116
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,040
I'll change his...head.
117
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,000
Yeah. That's...that's very
good, that's dark.
118
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,440
Do you we should do something to
him. Oi, would you prank him?
119
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,760
What would you do?
120
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,760
I...I'd put a dusty old
mint in his pocket.
121
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,520
Or something like that. Galileo.
122
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,040
I'll tell you what I'd do.
123
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,400
I'd go up to him and I'd go,
"Julian, Julian, don't worry,
124
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,760
"there isn't any gunge in here."
125
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,480
But then I would gunge him
with gunge on him.
126
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,400
Yes. You talking about gunging,
what, from kids' TV?
127
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,840
Where are you going to get gunge?
Ah, it's just gunge, innit?
128
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,200
You don't have any gunge, bruv.
129
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,400
I do have gunge. You don't
have any gunge, bruv.
130
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,520
I do have gunge.
131
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:23,640
I do.
132
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,320
Got gunge.
133
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,400
Right, I dare you, yeah, to go up to
Julian, yeah,
134
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:32,080
and call him, yeah, listen. Yeah,
yeah. Yeah, call him a bastard.
135
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,600
No. Do it! No, I can't.
You've got to do it!
136
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,920
I've got my job to...to...to...have.
137
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,280
Oh, please. Oh, please,
you've got to do it.
138
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,200
OK.
139
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,280
Really? Yeah. Yes. Oh, my word.
140
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,840
Al's going to call Julian a
bastard. Ooh.
141
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,600
HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
142
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,840
All right.
143
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:52,840
I'm just going to...
144
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:53,880
I'm Al.
145
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,400
It wasn't even a mouse in the end,
so I just had all the cheese
off the traps, then, didn't I?
146
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,560
It's not good for me, I'm phlegming
like a sicko today.
147
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,000
Why does Carole look like a bath?
148
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,240
Right, you horrible lot, gather
round the telly box, ASFAFP.
149
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,720
The Fs are for fucking, I love that.
150
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,240
It's like a viral video...
Don't gather, trust me, don't
gather, trust me, don't gather.
151
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:12,200
Julian, can I watch it before you
put it on? Huh? I beg you, please.
152
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:16,200
Nah, man. Enjoy your moment,
sunshine. Red carpet.
153
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:20,880
Right then, introducing the
new era, you sickheads.
154
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,640
Calling us sickheads, charming.
155
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,040
MUSIC IN THE STYLE OF LANA DEL REY
156
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,440
♪ I'm your home, I'm your hell
157
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,480
♪ I'm this century's smell
158
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:07,200
♪ Catch the gold, grind it down
159
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:11,320
♪ While our dust is in the air
160
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:17,520
♪ Keep me close and breathing
161
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:24,560
♪ I refuse to let you go
162
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,840
♪ Come inside, come inside
163
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,120
♪ You don't need to ask me,
come inside
164
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:34,880
♪ Now you can feel this
165
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,800
♪ No need to fight it
166
00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,440
♪ Come inside, come inside... ♪
167
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,680
LIGHT APPLAUSE
168
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,880
Dean.
169
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,160
What?
170
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,680
Who's that?
171
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,200
What was that?
172
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,720
Did they...?
173
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,760
No, you didn't make that video.
174
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,760
Calm down, it's only
going on the internet.
175
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,960
Well done, you two. So slick, yeah.
176
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,400
Why didn't you ask me to be in it,
Jules, you daft apeth?
177
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,280
Dean's good in it, though, isn't he?
Yeah, did you have to us spudding,
like, eight times, though?
178
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,360
Excuse me, madam, where is my
father, also, in the video about my
father's family business,please?
179
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,200
You can't just have some old Greek
bloke knocking about, you've got to,
180
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,680
you know, connect with the
millennials, the yummy mummies.
181
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,400
I mean, they'll rent a shit in a box
if you tell them it's cool enough.
182
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,480
Chuck in an avocado,
you're laughing.
183
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,600
Hipsters love avos, don't they? They
think they're lovely, it's so funny.
184
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,120
I don't know why you're chickling
away, you weren't in it.
185
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,280
What, do you want to have sex
with him? I'm sorry.
186
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,360
Well, I'm sorry, don't shame me,
saying I have sex.
187
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,120
I don't have sex like that. You had
sex with me. Sor... Thank you.
188
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,680
Yeah, and it put me off having sex,
cos it was rancid. It was nice.
189
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,560
Never. I can never believe the chat.
Sophie, come on, we're going home.
190
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,280
Hold on, I've got to make a coffee,
though.
191
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:45,720
Nah, nah, nah, you can go,
little un,
192
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,160
just bring me back some sushi, yeah?
193
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,720
She'll bring you back
my daddy, yeah?
194
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,720
and he's going to grab you
around, sir shine.
195
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:00,560
And then you press print.
196
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:01,960
Oh, yes, of course, Steven.
197
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:09,320
My name, so many times! Steven, my
God, how did I deserve this?
198
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,320
Dad, yeah, Julian...
199
00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,640
Hi, Dad. Oh, hi, Steven.
200
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:16,200
Dad, is sushi fish or drink?
201
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,640
Fish. It's fish.
202
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:21,440
Stathi, why are you at home, please?
Be at work, please.
203
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:25,080
Dad, yeah, Julian done a video
for the company and they...
204
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,080
It's not even, like, a family...one.
205
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,960
And it is too ru...rotten.
206
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,200
Can we believe this?
207
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:36,600
Yes, I saw his video and it is
clever, sexy video. Bravo, Julian.
208
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:37,800
End. A full stop.
209
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,800
That's not...what you
should have said.
210
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,400
Are you serious, man?
211
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,880
You left a bloody crook in the
office, crooking it up all day.
212
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,320
Stathi, watch your ears
and tell them to listen.
213
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,640
I want to be at home being
happy Larry,
214
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:53,080
drawing my lovely name with Steven.
215
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,960
I miss you so much at work!
216
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,720
And Al, he's crushed, bless you.
217
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,080
Not a hug.
218
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,360
Just a touch for now.
Oh, I wish it was a hug!
219
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,040
Baby, my large boy, what do
you want for your life?
220
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,320
To make it nice?
221
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,240
Julian...dead.
222
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,480
Oh, no! No, I know...
223
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,720
Don't do spooky jokes in front
of your sister!
224
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,120
It was too spooky, I was just...
225
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:14,600
Every answer you do is silly poo,
226
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,400
you don't want house
or baby or family...
227
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:20,560
Obviously I want that! I've been
trying to have a wife for ages.
228
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:21,880
It's true, he has.
229
00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,040
OK, tell me.
230
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,680
I want to have a son who
is our angel,
231
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,560
and I want to teach him
how to...clap.
232
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,720
And I want to take him to fancy
dress, dress him up like a spider.
233
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,920
And I want to give him
the family business.
234
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,720
And I want to secretly watch him
from round the corner,
235
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,640
while he celebrates about it.
236
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,080
This is lovely things.
237
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,840
But you get them how
I got my lovely things.
238
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,000
On your own.
239
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,040
Sophie doesn't do
anything on her own.
240
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:54,320
I am. I'm doing music on my own.
With Katia.
241
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:58,640
I sent you this song, Steven,
the fat track, do you like it?
242
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,160
Very fat track.
243
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:04,080
And I got a job making the fish
and coffee for Julian.
244
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,880
Now this I like, my sweetheart,
245
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,240
I'm so proud of you making
a coffee, agabi mou.
246
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,440
I haven't made one yet.
247
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:13,040
HE SPEAKS GREEK
248
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,480
Oh, you're making me laugh.
249
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,520
Never tickled me
out the bloody room.
250
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,200
It's my name lots.
251
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,600
It's actually really nice.
252
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:24,920
Thank you, Steven.
253
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,200
Did you like Julian's video?
254
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:31,840
I thought it was
a load of old croft.
255
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,240
I mean, yeah, it was...yeah,
it was amazing,
256
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,560
but my dad's licking his video all
day, loving it with his licks.
257
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,880
Oh, no, no, no. It is a video that
is weak. Yeah. It's mainstream.
258
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,200
And it is croft, I think, yeah,
no doubt in my mind.
259
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,000
You know what I mean,
like, film me, innit,
260
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,440
I'll do like a bloody Hollywood.
261
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,160
Six times better
than Julian done it.
262
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,960
Sorry, Stath, I love hanging in the
car with you. Me, too. Chilling out.
263
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,600
Throwing out. But I actually have a
viewing and the guy's waiting.
264
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,200
What, you want to film the viewing?
Ah, no, just... Your viewing?
265
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,680
..just doing it because I haven't
had a viewing in a long time.
266
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,000
But...wait, wait, we could...
267
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,200
You could film it and then
I could do the tour around.
268
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,280
And then we could music with it,
you know what I mean?
Where they go like that?
269
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:11,360
HE SINGS RANDOMLY
270
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,880
♪ Ra, ra, ta, ta, ta. ♪
271
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,200
That sort of thing.
272
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,720
I've just got to ask the guy I'm
showing, Mick, to see if...
273
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,320
I'll ask Mick, I'll ask him.
Yep. Yeah.
274
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,520
Mick, do you want to
be a movie star man?
275
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,280
Sorry, how am I not in the video?
276
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,960
You didn't even point to
any of the bits.
277
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,040
I would have pointed at all
the bits.
278
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,280
Are you ill? You look mad. No.
279
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,320
No, I'm buzzing. I'm hopping.
280
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,760
Don't say words with Hs near my
face. I don't want to get sick.
281
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:41,120
Oh, my God, I've played it to
everyone. My sisters, a teacher.
282
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,800
Oh! A boy in PC World. Oh!
283
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,720
Oh, my God. I played it on
my phone on the bus.
284
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,960
Yeah? And the girl was
like, "Shut up." Oh!
285
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,560
And the bus driver was like,
286
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,960
"Keep playing, that track is
sizzling, girl."
287
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,960
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
288
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,120
Did he?
289
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,360
I don't know.
290
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,600
I've played it to Dean
291
00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,720
and he said it was the best...song
he has ever heard in his life.
292
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,200
Yes, I got your e-mail.
It's spam, I reported it.
293
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,800
Deano, I just let that five-bed
to a young judge. Don't care.
294
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,080
Stath's sister, sushi.
295
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,520
What's this? Where'd you get this?
Um, my dad's room.
296
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:13,960
No.
297
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,360
Ooh, you still here?
298
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,360
You should go home, you still
look a bit vom, Caz.
299
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,400
Oh, yeah, no, I know, it's mad.
300
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,440
Cos I look rank, but I'm actually
fine, so what's that about?
301
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,240
It's just going to be
like a normal tour,
302
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,440
except there's just going to be a
little bit of a camera
303
00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,440
filming your every move,
or whatever.
304
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,240
So, as you can see, this living room
screams family, to the point,
305
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,600
I feel like I'm going to go deaf.
306
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,640
HE LAUGHS
307
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:38,680
Mick?
308
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,320
I've had a rough morning. Ay, Mick,
have a look at this rabbit.
309
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,600
Don't you think it's
cute as a family?
310
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,440
Mick, you're not...
311
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:51,680
Cos he's filming you, you've got to
do a lovely big smile for us.
312
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,720
And when I'm walking with my friend
Mick, here... Where's Mick?
313
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:55,800
Come on, Mick.
314
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,000
CHANTING: Come on, Mick, come on,
Mick, come on, Mick.
315
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,680
Now keep quick with us,
please, Mick.
316
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,920
We don't have to copy Julian as
well, but maybe just, like,
do a little bit more cool
317
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,120
things like in that one. Cos
we can do them better, anyway,
so it won't be the same.
318
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,600
That's fine. Yeah, just a bit of
spice. What do you think, Mick?
319
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,240
Shall we do some cool
things in this one?
320
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,480
So we're going to be cool
on the... Yeah, great.
Whenever you're ready, Stath.
321
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,280
And then more of that.
Wow. Wow. Wow.
322
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,360
Ow.
323
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,880
It's like a rainstorm of tissues.
324
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:31,040
You need to say more
things like that. Ugh.
325
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:32,560
Would you be up for
getting in there?
326
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,360
Just a couple of blokes
having a wash? No?
327
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,040
I'm going to say something
cool and then I'm going
to chuck the keys.
328
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,720
You've got to catch them, Al, or
you, whoever it comes closer to, OK?
329
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,240
Hey, if you don't like this room,
you're fresh out of...dice.
330
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,520
Oh, my God. Sorry. No, right.
It's all right. I thought...
331
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,360
That was just a little too
aggressive. ..you might
be able to catch it.
332
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,840
Again, just slightly... Yeah, I
know, I need to do it gentler.
333
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,160
Now that we're in the bathroom,
334
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,520
I guess we're got to have
a laugh room. God! I'm sorry.
335
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,240
What sort of shots are you getting?
Quite clever ones?
336
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,560
Yeah, just, like,
sort of, nice shots.
337
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,960
I think we can get cleverer
shots, to be honest. OK.
338
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,200
Hey, Mick, when you get a chair
that's cool as this, you know..
339
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,080
..you're going to be sitting
pretty tonight.
340
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,240
Ouch! I'm sorry. I don't know why
I thought you was going to
be able to catch that.
341
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,040
That's OK. Sorry, sorry,
I don't know why I was in there.
342
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,000
Hey, Mick, what do you think of
the bedroom?
343
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,200
Right, can you do the thing where
you click on Mick's head
344
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,880
and make him smile,
345
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:31,240
and say something nice about
the flat like, "Yes?"
346
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,440
I'm not sure I know how to do
anything at all.
347
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,040
I know it was good when it was
just you,
348
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,560
but I'm taking it from shin to
hairline, genuinely.
349
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,680
You know, two months of me
and you'll be able to afford
350
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,480
to make this place a little
less disgusting.
351
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,120
Hello, there. Stath, have you
learned anything today?
352
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:49,840
Uh, we're actually creating a new,
better Michael & Eagle video.
353
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:53,320
Ha-ha! It's not drenched in water,
it's drenched in family
354
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,960
and...quite serious men.
355
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,080
I had a drone.
I had a choreographer.
356
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,560
Rita Ora's brother directed it.
Better? Mugs.
357
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,840
What, you think I didn't have all
that? What is that?
358
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,760
Julian, let him have a turn,
maybe it's a nice video.
359
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,840
Are you kidding? Vasos.
360
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:07,920
We'll watch them both
361
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:11,400
when it's finished then decide
which one we sell in HMV.
362
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,880
No, no, no, we're not selling them,
they're going online, Vasos.
363
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,920
Uh-huh.
364
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,840
All right, it doesn't matter,
I get it, it's fine,
365
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,360
it's like an outreach scheme,
isn't it?
366
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,640
And I could have a go at doing my
own one, if needs be. No.
367
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,960
Right, Dean,
on for sushi in five, yeah?
368
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,680
I'm just gonna show Vasos
some wood samples.
369
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,280
I hate fish and I didn't ask
for anything.
370
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:27,960
JULIAN LAUGHS
Love ya.
371
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,120
Sorry, is our one incredible,
or not?
372
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,160
Yeah.
373
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,760
Hey, Stath, nice one, man.
374
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,000
What... What's she doing here?
375
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,280
QUIETLY: I don't even like her.
376
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,440
What did he say? I don't know.
377
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,800
What you guys doing?
378
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,920
You making a video,
can we be in it? Is... Is it good?
379
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,720
You should let us be in it actually,
cos to h-have two girls in it,
380
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,520
that's actually equal rights. Yeah.
381
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,240
And also, if you let us be in it,
we'll... We can sing in it.
382
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,520
Ooh, that'd be lit.
383
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,560
That is a fair truth.
384
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,840
Also, what, maybe, what would you
do? Like, um, a song?
385
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,360
Something about Michael & Eagle?
386
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,200
I dunno, like, uh...
387
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,000
Like something, um...
388
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,440
♪ Hey fellas, looking good
389
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,560
♪ Hey ladies, looking good
390
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,200
♪ Do you need a flat
391
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,640
♪ I can give you a flat
If you come to Michael & Eagle
392
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:15,040
♪ Michael & Eagle is an eagle shop
393
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,200
♪ And is...the eagle's
called Michael
394
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,400
♪ And he'll fly you to the best flat
you ever seen
395
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,280
♪ There's champagne on ice
396
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,440
♪ There's cigarettes on ice
There's dancing on ice
397
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,320
♪ There's the way of the ice
398
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,480
♪ And guess what the secret is
399
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,320
♪ The eagle's favourite drink
is champagne. ♪
400
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,640
That is...humbling.
401
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,720
Yeah, it's worrying, the level
of talent you two... You have.
402
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:39,920
No.
403
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,040
No, I'm not having that.
404
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,640
Girls, that was gub.
405
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,400
You want to stick that online,
as an advert for a letting agency,
406
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,680
come on, girls, what planet?
407
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,720
Planet it's going in the video.
408
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,680
Unless, what idea do you have?
409
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:56,960
Dorothy from the smash-seller,
The Wizard Of Oz, once said,
410
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,000
"There's no place like home."
411
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,440
And at M & E,
we think she was onto something.
412
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:06,320
We ain't no wizards and this road
ain't yellow or made of bricks.
413
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:07,680
Thank God.
414
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,440
But click your ruby heels together,
415
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,440
and we'll make sure that you
and your munchkins...
416
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,320
..find a very, very nice flat.
417
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:16,520
So, check out our...
418
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,880
SHE RETCHES
419
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,840
Whoopsie on the forks!
420
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:22,960
There, there.
421
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,600
So, check out our web... I'm sorry,
I-I was just sick, I can't carry on.
422
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,120
Yeah, I didn't think you would.
423
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,920
You OK? You want me to get you a
thin... A thin yoghurt or something?
424
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,360
Oh, God. I'm pregnant, not
bedbound.
425
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,160
Oh, uh...
426
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,880
Your pardon, my guvnor?
427
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,200
No, I, um...
428
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,760
Oh, do you know what, people are
going to start to spot the glow
429
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,800
soon enough, aren't they? So, yeah,
go on, then, yeah, I'm preggo, yeah.
430
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,840
Preggo? And are you the...mother?
431
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,160
I... Oh, yeah.
I don't know how to answer that.
432
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,320
Yeah, sorry.
433
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:58,120
Carole, I presume, are you
not...happy? This is bliss...
434
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,680
Yeah, but just don't
blab to Julian, OK? Yeah. Yeah?
435
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,280
Cos I think you will, and I don't
want him thinking I can't do my job,
436
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:04,560
all right? Cos I can do it.
437
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:05,920
Yeah.
438
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,720
Great. Woo.
439
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,920
What did she say about our
flat song?
440
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,600
She said that it was grub.
441
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:12,760
She's grub.
442
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,280
That was a sick banger.
443
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,840
Ignore Carole, she's obviously never
heard the music charts
444
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,080
in her damn life.
445
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,640
Yeah, and she was sweating
so much today cos she's scared,
446
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,080
she can't even sing.
447
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,240
Yeah, well, you've seen right
through her, yeah.
448
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,360
You know, um, I could do
a vid of you two singing.
449
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,560
Slam it on the net.
Really? Yeah.
450
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,720
Do it today, Alan?
451
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,840
Oh, my God, a-amazing.
452
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,760
Should we gel our hair so it's flat?
453
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,000
Oh, Tomoko's just texted, yeah.
454
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,320
I sent her the track, just to
get her thoughts.
455
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:44,200
Oh, the one in Japan? Japan?
456
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,880
She wants to end our relationship.
457
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,280
Because of the track?
458
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,360
Because she thinks that
I'm very weak,
459
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,840
and she doesn't want to live in
460
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,720
Birmingham any more, and she really,
really fancies some other man.
461
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,600
It's a lovely bit of silk,
you choose the pocket lining.
462
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,000
He even lets you stitch it
with him as well,
463
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,360
and he's open till late, Dean.
464
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,320
I don't want to make a suit tonight.
465
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,000
Oh, fair play to you, big man,
interns don't usually put in the
hours.
466
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,600
AL LAUGHS
467
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,040
Bastard!
468
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,200
Did you know that one out of ten
469
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,560
flats is actually the best
470
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,400
flat of... London today?
471
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:32,080
My family business is called
Michael & Eagle Lettings.
472
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,120
And I think that you can achieve
dreams in life,
473
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,960
if you keep doing 20 smiles
every day.
474
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,600
LOUD FLUSH
475
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,440
Da-da-da-da.
476
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,000
Hey, Mick, if you take the flat,
you gotta pay the rent.
477
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,040
Sorry.
478
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,640
CLAPPING
479
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,320
Why is this your video, Stathi?
480
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,600
What do you...? Well, it's not
finished yet.
481
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,120
Al's still got to do the water
482
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,520
and everything.
483
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,800
OK, enough is as much.
484
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:03,560
I think now we leave Julian to do
things in a fantastic way.
485
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,280
Maybe don't try to do anything ever.
486
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,160
It's nice sometimes to do nothing.
487
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,520
Come on, Steven.
488
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,000
Urgh.
489
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,320
Feel sick to my pip. Oh, no.
490
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,560
Do you think you got it from Carole,
she looked well-gurky today?
491
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,560
Well, that's cos she's pregnant.
492
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:28,320
She done a grey sick in a posh
drawer. No, is it?
493
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,280
Oh, my!
494
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,560
Do you think it's yours?
Cos you had sex.
495
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,840
That was, like, two months ago.
496
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,360
That's all right, innit?
497
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,080
No, cos the...
498
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,920
Oh, my God.
499
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,160
BLISSFUL CLASSICAL MUSIC
500
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:58,760
Uh...
501
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,080
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