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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:06,255
What's the difference between the secretary
of commerce and the secretary of labor?
2
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:10,497
One is in charge of all all the
things financial, all the money stuff,
3
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,049
the other is uh to all it's uh
4
00:00:13,186 --> 00:00:15,601
You know, he's in-charge
of all work and labor.
5
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,838
Just say you don't
know. Okay, I don't know.
6
00:00:31,603 --> 00:00:35,672
♪ Tell me why I
love you like I do
7
00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:38,430
♪ Tell me who can stop my heart
8
00:00:38,568 --> 00:00:39,879
♪ As much as you
9
00:00:40,017 --> 00:00:41,637
♪ Let's take each other's hand
10
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:44,879
♪ As we jump
into the final frontier
11
00:00:46,189 --> 00:00:47,776
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
12
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:48,949
♪ Yeah! ♪
13
00:00:55,604 --> 00:00:59,363
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Okay. Taste this bread.
14
00:01:00,432 --> 00:01:01,915
Mmm. Where did you get that?
15
00:01:02,397 --> 00:01:03,535
I just made it.
16
00:01:03,674 --> 00:01:04,674
Come on.
17
00:01:04,743 --> 00:01:05,812
I did! Seriously.
18
00:01:05,950 --> 00:01:08,053
You know that big thing
Debbie and Joan gave us
19
00:01:08,191 --> 00:01:09,536
That we use to store the rice?
20
00:01:10,088 --> 00:01:11,191
The rice holder?
21
00:01:11,329 --> 00:01:13,467
Yeah. Turns out it's not a
rice holder-bread maker.
22
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,744
What did you do with the rice?
23
00:01:16,882 --> 00:01:18,606
For now, can we just
celebrate the bread?
24
00:01:20,951 --> 00:01:23,330
It's the greatest thing,
this bread maker.
25
00:01:23,468 --> 00:01:24,814
You put the guck in the thing,
26
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,872
you turn it on, you go
away, you have a sandwich,
27
00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:28,537
and an hour later, bread.
28
00:01:28,676 --> 00:01:30,036
Then you can make
another sandwich.
29
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:32,779
Hey! Hey. Okay. Taste that.
30
00:01:33,538 --> 00:01:34,538
It's good.
31
00:01:34,608 --> 00:01:35,648
Huh? Where did you get it?
32
00:01:35,677 --> 00:01:37,228
I made it. Come on.
33
00:01:37,366 --> 00:01:39,056
I baked the bread.
34
00:01:39,193 --> 00:01:40,194
Yeah, right.
35
00:01:41,331 --> 00:01:42,332
I did!
36
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,539
So did you get my
message this morning?
37
00:01:44,677 --> 00:01:45,849
No. No. I've been bakin'.
38
00:01:45,987 --> 00:01:47,849
I haven't even had ano... What?
39
00:01:47,987 --> 00:01:51,470
I have an advance copy of the
Baltimore Tribune article on Buchman.
40
00:01:51,609 --> 00:01:53,332
By that guy, Ricky Wrongstag.
41
00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:54,850
The Baltimore Tribune?
42
00:01:54,988 --> 00:01:56,678
Yeah. We had to go 300 miles
43
00:01:56,816 --> 00:01:59,126
to find somebody who was
actually interested, but, hey
44
00:01:59,264 --> 00:02:00,782
Let me see! How
is it? How is it?
45
00:02:00,919 --> 00:02:02,540
He loves Buchman. We're a hit.
46
00:02:02,679 --> 00:02:04,000
Wow! That's so cool. Let me see.
47
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:06,437
He said so many nice
things about this movie.
48
00:02:06,575 --> 00:02:07,655
Wow! Let me see. Oh, great.
49
00:02:07,748 --> 00:02:09,483
You cannot put a price
on publicity like this.
50
00:02:09,507 --> 00:02:10,782
Let me see the thing!
51
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,800
All right. Just remember,
it is an advance copy,
52
00:02:12,852 --> 00:02:14,507
so they still have
to fix some stuff.
53
00:02:14,645 --> 00:02:16,231
All right, all
right. Here we go.
54
00:02:16,369 --> 00:02:19,059
"In Paul Buchman's new
documentary about his family,
55
00:02:19,197 --> 00:02:20,404
Entitled Feldman"
56
00:02:23,818 --> 00:02:25,784
He'll fix! He'll fix!
57
00:02:25,921 --> 00:02:28,612
"The story chronicles his
family's journey to America
58
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:30,819
after fleeing their
native Cuba."
59
00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:34,233
I don't understand.
60
00:02:34,302 --> 00:02:35,302
Oh, no, no, no, no.
61
00:02:35,336 --> 00:02:36,336
What? What? What?
62
00:02:36,405 --> 00:02:37,682
Oh, no! JAMIE: What?
63
00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:40,543
"Paul's mother, a
lovely woman of 86"
64
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:41,854
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
65
00:02:41,992 --> 00:02:45,543
No! This is all so wrong!
66
00:02:45,682 --> 00:02:48,042
It's wronger than wrong. This
is the wrongest anything could
67
00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:50,303
nobody's wronger
than Ricky Wrongstag.
68
00:02:51,096 --> 00:02:52,376
He works in the New York bureau.
69
00:02:52,441 --> 00:02:53,590
You just go down to his office
70
00:02:53,614 --> 00:02:54,855
and give him your corrections.
71
00:02:54,993 --> 00:02:56,752
I spent so much time
talking to that guy!
72
00:02:56,890 --> 00:02:58,452
What was it, just a
complete waste of time?
73
00:02:58,476 --> 00:03:01,235
No! He loves the
movie! Look! Read!
74
00:03:01,373 --> 00:03:02,615
"Feldman announces
75
00:03:02,753 --> 00:03:04,615
Feldman! "Feldman
announces Buchman"
76
00:03:04,753 --> 00:03:06,615
Okay "as one of
the truest voices
77
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,994
in documentary film
today" There you go!
78
00:03:09,132 --> 00:03:13,616
"He brilliantly captures the
hot Latin emotions of his family".
79
00:03:13,754 --> 00:03:15,512
What is wrong with this guy?
80
00:03:15,650 --> 00:03:16,961
"He brilliantly captures," huh?
81
00:03:17,098 --> 00:03:18,730
Look, honey, and he
mentions you. Ooh, he does?
82
00:03:18,754 --> 00:03:21,546
Yeah. "Mr. Buchman resides
in New York with his wife Jamie,
83
00:03:21,685 --> 00:03:23,754
a non-pro, and his son Mabel."
84
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:27,409
Non-pro?
85
00:03:27,547 --> 00:03:29,686
So what do you know? I
got a son named Mabel now.
86
00:03:29,824 --> 00:03:31,409
He called me a non-pro?
87
00:03:31,547 --> 00:03:33,385
Sweetie, that just means at
the moment you're not working
88
00:03:33,409 --> 00:03:35,720
I know what it means.
I'm not a non-pro.
89
00:03:35,858 --> 00:03:37,041
Well, look at the bright side.
90
00:03:37,065 --> 00:03:38,945
You got that darned
Caster oil out of your hair.
91
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,756
Stop working for 11 seconds,
92
00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:43,341
suddenly you're a non-pro?
93
00:03:45,376 --> 00:03:46,594
See, what that
is, that's a little
94
00:03:46,618 --> 00:03:48,258
of that hot Latin
emotions our family has.
95
00:03:54,377 --> 00:03:55,525
How long have we been together?
96
00:03:55,549 --> 00:03:57,688
Don't ask me. I'm a non-pro.
97
00:03:58,826 --> 00:04:00,688
But, the point is,
a long time, right?
98
00:04:00,826 --> 00:04:01,826
Uh-huh. Yeah.
99
00:04:01,964 --> 00:04:02,964
And in that time,
100
00:04:03,102 --> 00:04:04,354
have I ever given
you the impression
101
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,043
by anything I've said
or anything I've done
102
00:04:06,067 --> 00:04:07,585
that I am, in any way, Cuban?
103
00:04:08,861 --> 00:04:10,275
Non-pro?
104
00:04:11,206 --> 00:04:12,827
Blech, blech,
blech, blech, blech.
105
00:04:12,965 --> 00:04:14,068
What?
106
00:04:14,206 --> 00:04:15,448
Restaurant bread.
107
00:04:20,069 --> 00:04:21,069
Do you know who that is?
108
00:04:22,242 --> 00:04:24,207
That's James Carville
and Mary Matalin.
109
00:04:26,035 --> 00:04:27,035
Our jewelers?
110
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:29,311
What?
111
00:04:29,449 --> 00:04:31,483
No, no, no, no,
no! You know them!
112
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:33,070
The famous "they're married,
113
00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:35,552
but, they're on opposite
sides of the political" thing
114
00:04:35,691 --> 00:04:36,691
You know them!
115
00:04:36,794 --> 00:04:38,623
Don't know 'em.
116
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,864
Carville worked for Clinton.
Matalin worked for Bush.
117
00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:43,277
Oh, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
118
00:04:43,415 --> 00:04:45,426
So Carville may be a little
better at his job than she is.
119
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:46,529
Is that what you're saying?
120
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:47,633
No, no, no. They're both great.
121
00:04:47,657 --> 00:04:49,220
In fact, I met her at
a press junket once.
122
00:04:49,244 --> 00:04:50,347
She's brilliant.
123
00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:52,589
Excuse me. Do you
have any fresh bread?
124
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,175
No. That's as
fresh as we've got.
125
00:04:56,313 --> 00:04:57,593
Okay. That's fine. You know why?
126
00:04:57,658 --> 00:04:58,658
I got my own bread.
127
00:05:02,003 --> 00:05:04,900
So what's their story? He's a big
democrat, she's a big republican?
128
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,694
Uh-huh. And then
they got married?
129
00:05:06,832 --> 00:05:08,290
Yeah, that's good,
'cause you don't want to
130
00:05:08,314 --> 00:05:09,594
run out of things
to fight about.
131
00:05:11,349 --> 00:05:13,280
Jamie? Jamie Buchman?
132
00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:14,659
Yeah?
133
00:05:14,797 --> 00:05:16,142
Mary Matalin.
134
00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:17,764
Right!
135
00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:19,246
Right, right, right!
136
00:05:19,729 --> 00:05:20,833
How are you?
137
00:05:20,971 --> 00:05:22,280
How ya doin'?
138
00:05:22,418 --> 00:05:24,119
This serpent-head's my
husband James Carville.
139
00:05:24,143 --> 00:05:25,316
Oh!
140
00:05:25,454 --> 00:05:27,557
Don't call me that in
front of new people.
141
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,295
Yeah, like they
wouldn't think it anyway.
142
00:05:29,350 --> 00:05:31,972
All right, okay Hey! What do
you suppose is for dessert, huh?
143
00:05:32,109 --> 00:05:33,972
And this is our
associate Henry Vincent.
144
00:05:34,110 --> 00:05:35,419
Well, hi. Pleasure to meet you.
145
00:05:35,557 --> 00:05:36,868
Jamie did the
Brockwell campaign.
146
00:05:37,006 --> 00:05:39,628
Oh, someone actually
took that job, eh?
147
00:05:39,765 --> 00:05:41,213
Hey, she made
him look pretty good.
148
00:05:41,351 --> 00:05:42,351
Thank you.
149
00:05:42,489 --> 00:05:43,904
So how's life after Brockwell?
150
00:05:44,041 --> 00:05:46,042
It's great. That's
my husband Paul,
151
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,180
And over there, that's
Mabel, who's a joy.
152
00:05:48,318 --> 00:05:49,973
Oh, she looks it.
153
00:05:50,111 --> 00:05:51,629
So what brings you guys to town?
154
00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:53,432
Well, Carville and I
opened up an office here.
155
00:05:53,456 --> 00:05:54,938
Call me James!
156
00:05:55,076 --> 00:05:57,318
Would it kill you
to call me James?
157
00:05:58,663 --> 00:06:00,732
Honey You're whining
158
00:06:00,870 --> 00:06:02,526
Like a little girlie-man.
159
00:06:04,422 --> 00:06:07,871
Ha ha! Okay. All right.
Happy are we, table of 3.
160
00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:10,560
And Henry's the guy
we hired to run the office.
161
00:06:10,699 --> 00:06:12,379
What kind of stuff
would you be workin' on?
162
00:06:12,422 --> 00:06:13,742
Well, here in the
New York office,
163
00:06:13,768 --> 00:06:15,389
our business is
applying pressure.
164
00:06:15,527 --> 00:06:18,182
We lean on the corporations
till they do what we want.
165
00:06:19,492 --> 00:06:20,941
Hey, Jamie, you workin' now?
166
00:06:21,078 --> 00:06:22,631
I'm not. I'm staying
home with Mabel.
167
00:06:22,769 --> 00:06:24,492
Well, if you ever decide
to go back to work,
168
00:06:24,631 --> 00:06:25,631
we should talk.
169
00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:26,734
Great. Sure.
170
00:06:26,872 --> 00:06:28,124
Hey, you know what
you oughta do is,
171
00:06:28,148 --> 00:06:29,701
you oughta come up
and see our offices.
172
00:06:29,838 --> 00:06:31,252
I would love that.
173
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:33,297
We'll just pop up sixth
avenue, then we'll cross over
174
00:06:33,321 --> 00:06:34,839
Sixth, at this hour?
175
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,046
What are you, nuts?
176
00:06:36,184 --> 00:06:38,024
Are you tellin' me how
to get to my own office?
177
00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:41,942
Nowsy-now. I'll tell
ya, these knuckleheads
178
00:06:44,184 --> 00:06:47,253
And this hotbed of activity
is what we call the war room.
179
00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:48,702
I love this place.
180
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,633
Well, great. Maybe someday
soon, you'll have a home here.
181
00:06:51,771 --> 00:06:54,081
Oh, sweetie, what's the matter?
182
00:06:54,219 --> 00:06:55,219
What is it?
183
00:06:56,081 --> 00:06:57,772
Is there someplace
I could change her?
184
00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,634
Uh, well, this one's empty.
185
00:06:59,772 --> 00:07:01,082
Great. Thank you.
186
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,393
Don't make a mess,
187
00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,300
'cause if ya come here,
this will be your office.
188
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,635
Okay. Paul, could you help
me for a second, please?
189
00:07:06,772 --> 00:07:08,151
What is Kenya?
190
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:10,496
Paul?
191
00:07:10,842 --> 00:07:11,842
Sorry!
192
00:07:13,669 --> 00:07:14,669
I'll get it.
193
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:15,842
Thank you.
194
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,463
Wow. Look at this place.
195
00:07:17,601 --> 00:07:18,738
I know.
196
00:07:18,876 --> 00:07:20,059
Do you think they were serious?
197
00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:21,083
About?
198
00:07:21,187 --> 00:07:22,636
About me coming to work here?
199
00:07:22,774 --> 00:07:24,428
Oh, of course they were serious.
200
00:07:24,566 --> 00:07:26,198
Did you hear how many
times they asked you?
201
00:07:26,222 --> 00:07:28,326
It was bordering on the pushy.
202
00:07:28,464 --> 00:07:30,567
Would you be okay with
me thinking about working?
203
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,084
Sure.
204
00:07:32,188 --> 00:07:33,878
Really? Absolutely.
205
00:07:34,015 --> 00:07:35,637
Totally. In fact, here's a deal.
206
00:07:35,775 --> 00:07:38,258
You go to work. I'll stay
home. I'll take care of Mabel.
207
00:07:38,395 --> 00:07:40,292
Listen to you a guy who
bakes one loaf of bread?
208
00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:41,878
Ah!
209
00:07:42,016 --> 00:07:43,751
Is this a little john and
Yoko fantasy you're having?
210
00:07:43,775 --> 00:07:46,327
No. I thought
of this all myself.
211
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:49,190
For your information, I
like taking care of her.
212
00:07:49,327 --> 00:07:50,914
And two happen
to be very good at it
213
00:07:51,776 --> 00:07:54,604
And three I got nothin' to do.
214
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:57,948
Till my next project comes
along, I'm not so much busy.
215
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,366
What if they don't ask me again?
216
00:08:00,121 --> 00:08:01,121
They're gonna ask you.
217
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,742
How do you know? 'Cause I know.
218
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,363
No. You're wrong. I'm not wrong.
219
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:05,500
I think you're wrong.
220
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:06,846
I'm not wrong. All right.
221
00:08:06,984 --> 00:08:08,915
So did I leave you
alone for long enough?
222
00:08:09,812 --> 00:08:12,398
Are you interested
in a job here?
223
00:08:12,536 --> 00:08:15,640
Maybe daddy's not so
wrong as mommy, ultimately.
224
00:08:21,364 --> 00:08:24,468
Okay. Just say, "have a
good day at work, mama."
225
00:08:24,606 --> 00:08:28,262
You remember my
friend Bubbles Cantwell?
226
00:08:28,399 --> 00:08:30,079
Bubbles Cantwell with
the dog and the coat!
227
00:08:30,193 --> 00:08:31,503
That's right.
228
00:08:31,642 --> 00:08:33,951
She lives outside Baltimore now,
229
00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:37,400
and she promised to fax me
that article when it came out.
230
00:08:37,538 --> 00:08:39,434
You have a fax
machine? Since when?
231
00:08:39,572 --> 00:08:42,435
Well, of course we have a
fax machine. It's the nineties.
232
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,332
How many faxes do you get?
233
00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:46,918
Well, this will
be the first one.
234
00:08:48,573 --> 00:08:49,988
Just say just say, "mama."
235
00:08:50,126 --> 00:08:51,435
Yeah, say, "mama."
236
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,195
Say, "mama's going
to be late for work
237
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,653
Unless someone helps
her find her glasses."
238
00:08:54,677 --> 00:08:55,677
What do they look like?
239
00:08:55,815 --> 00:08:57,609
They're little,
round, tortoise-shell
240
00:08:57,747 --> 00:08:59,333
They're glasses!
Any kind of glasses!
241
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:01,644
Just say, "mama."
242
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:05,471
Or, just say
243
00:09:07,609 --> 00:09:09,679
Hey! Found the rice.
244
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:12,506
Oh, oh, oh. Leave
it, honey. I'll get it.
245
00:09:12,645 --> 00:09:13,645
Found your glasses.
246
00:09:13,714 --> 00:09:15,093
Yes! Yes! Yes!
247
00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:17,059
Thank you so much.
248
00:09:17,197 --> 00:09:22,162
And you are gonna get to spend
all day today with daddy and Nana,
249
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,749
you lucky girl, yes.
250
00:09:23,887 --> 00:09:26,956
Oh, mommy's gonna
miss you so much.
251
00:09:27,094 --> 00:09:28,507
Well, Mabel knew that you would,
252
00:09:28,646 --> 00:09:30,060
which is why she made you this.
253
00:09:30,198 --> 00:09:31,922
Oh, look at that!
254
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:33,956
Thank you so much! Look at you!
255
00:09:34,094 --> 00:09:35,294
A little talking picture frame
256
00:09:35,405 --> 00:09:37,060
so you can look
at Mabel all day,
257
00:09:37,198 --> 00:09:39,130
And if you press
this button, she'll talk.
258
00:09:41,405 --> 00:09:42,716
Oh, honey, I love it!
259
00:09:42,854 --> 00:09:44,509
Okay. Well, you come to me.
260
00:09:44,647 --> 00:09:46,268
All right, I get
Mabel. You get this.
261
00:09:46,406 --> 00:09:47,451
See? There's a little picture,
262
00:09:47,475 --> 00:09:48,635
And if you press this button,
263
00:09:48,682 --> 00:09:50,106
you can change the
message, whatever you want.
264
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:52,820
I love the frame,
and I love you.
265
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:54,269
And I love you.
266
00:09:55,165 --> 00:09:56,338
And I love you!
267
00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:57,476
You'll be late for work.
268
00:09:57,545 --> 00:09:58,751
Okay.
269
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,372
You know, I am so
anxious to see that article.
270
00:10:01,510 --> 00:10:03,348
Okay, ya see, the thing
with those articles, ma,
271
00:10:03,372 --> 00:10:05,486
I gotta warn ya, ya never
know what they're gonna print.
272
00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:08,132
Oh, well, listen, what's the
worst thing that he could write?
273
00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:09,511
I can't even imagine.
274
00:10:09,649 --> 00:10:12,615
Okay. I think I'm ready to go.
275
00:10:12,753 --> 00:10:15,615
All right, okay. Nothing to get
upset about. Mommy's going to work.
276
00:10:15,753 --> 00:10:18,133
I'm excited about this! I
think this is gonna be great.
277
00:10:18,271 --> 00:10:22,512
Yeah. Oh. Mabel just said, "that's
right, mommy, it is. It's gonna be great."
278
00:10:22,651 --> 00:10:24,133
Okay. You have my
number? Yes, I do.
279
00:10:24,271 --> 00:10:25,305
And my pager? I... yes.
280
00:10:25,443 --> 00:10:26,443
And my cell phone.
281
00:10:26,512 --> 00:10:27,754
Yes. Also, I tagged your ear
282
00:10:27,892 --> 00:10:29,172
So I can follow
you in a chopper.
283
00:10:30,134 --> 00:10:31,858
All right. I love you,
Mabel, so much.
284
00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:33,203
I'll be home very soon.
285
00:10:34,237 --> 00:10:35,597
Okay. Mabel says,
"We'll call you."
286
00:10:35,652 --> 00:10:37,790
Okay. Or, you'll
or, you'll page me.
287
00:10:37,927 --> 00:10:39,272
Yes. "Or, fax you."
288
00:10:39,410 --> 00:10:40,869
Okay, or, if you need
me, you know you can call.
289
00:10:40,893 --> 00:10:41,893
"Just go!" All right.
290
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:58,308
This is Jamie Buchman.
291
00:10:58,377 --> 00:11:00,308
We are having a fabulous day.
292
00:11:00,446 --> 00:11:02,205
It's so weird not
being with her.
293
00:11:02,343 --> 00:11:03,446
I know. How you doin'?
294
00:11:03,584 --> 00:11:05,239
I'm good. Everybody's
being really nice.
295
00:11:05,377 --> 00:11:06,550
How's it going there?
296
00:11:06,688 --> 00:11:08,930
It's just goin' great.
You know what she did?
297
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,344
She found her toes.
298
00:11:10,482 --> 00:11:12,171
Yeah. She does that.
299
00:11:12,309 --> 00:11:13,749
Well, she's got 'em
in her mouth now.
300
00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:15,793
She never did that.
301
00:11:15,931 --> 00:11:17,585
Oh. You know what, though?
302
00:11:17,724 --> 00:11:19,964
It doesn't look like they're
comin' out any time soon, so
303
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,448
You'll see it when you get home.
304
00:11:22,585 --> 00:11:23,585
Okay.
305
00:11:23,655 --> 00:11:24,656
You okay?
306
00:11:24,793 --> 00:11:26,172
Yeah. I'm good.
307
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,932
I'm a modern woman,
striking as best I can
308
00:11:29,070 --> 00:11:31,208
the delicate balance that
society demands of me.
309
00:11:36,587 --> 00:11:37,770
So you're doin' pretty
good, then, huh?
310
00:11:37,794 --> 00:11:39,208
Yeah. Okay.
311
00:11:39,346 --> 00:11:40,346
Kiss Mabel.
312
00:11:40,415 --> 00:11:41,415
I will. Okay, bye.
313
00:11:41,484 --> 00:11:42,484
Bye.
314
00:11:46,002 --> 00:11:47,485
I just wanted to say welcome,
315
00:11:47,622 --> 00:11:50,312
and we're all so
thrilled to have you.
316
00:11:50,450 --> 00:11:52,416
Thank you. Hey, what's that?
317
00:11:52,554 --> 00:11:54,865
It's a picture of my
daughter that talks.
318
00:11:55,003 --> 00:11:56,244
Oh, cool.
319
00:11:58,106 --> 00:12:00,141
Oh, that's adorable!
320
00:12:00,279 --> 00:12:02,348
So that button plays,
and what does this one
321
00:12:02,486 --> 00:12:03,738
Careful 'cause
you might erase it!
322
00:12:03,762 --> 00:12:05,659
Oh, crap. I think I erased it.
323
00:12:07,382 --> 00:12:08,520
I'm sorry.
324
00:12:08,659 --> 00:12:09,866
Listen, not to worry.
325
00:12:10,004 --> 00:12:11,624
Did I erase Mabel?
326
00:12:11,762 --> 00:12:14,176
Oh, crap. I think I erased it.
327
00:12:14,314 --> 00:12:16,107
Oh! I feel terrible.
328
00:12:16,245 --> 00:12:18,176
- Truly, not to worry.
- Mary! Phone call!
329
00:12:18,314 --> 00:12:19,625
Will you excuse me? Sure.
330
00:12:19,763 --> 00:12:21,798
Oh, crap. I think I erased it.
331
00:12:23,832 --> 00:12:25,936
Oh, crap. I think I erased it.
332
00:12:27,867 --> 00:12:28,867
Hello.
333
00:12:28,937 --> 00:12:29,977
I made a horrible mistake.
334
00:12:30,074 --> 00:12:31,143
You did?
335
00:12:31,281 --> 00:12:32,841
Yes. I never should
have taken this job.
336
00:12:32,971 --> 00:12:34,282
I don't want it. I want Mabel.
337
00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:37,351
Oh, you know what? All right,
then here's what ya do. Quit.
338
00:12:37,489 --> 00:12:39,449
No, I can't quit. I've got
to get them to fire me.
339
00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:41,316
How do ya figure that?
340
00:12:41,454 --> 00:12:43,627
Because if I quit, I'm
gonna look like an idiot.
341
00:12:43,765 --> 00:12:46,592
Sweetie, getting fired is not
exactly like a feather in your cap.
342
00:12:47,903 --> 00:12:50,317
Honey, please. You just
don't understand business.
343
00:12:50,455 --> 00:12:52,421
Just go back to
your bread, okay?
344
00:12:56,248 --> 00:12:57,248
All right.
345
00:12:58,663 --> 00:13:00,604
Listen to me. This is what
I want you to do. Call me.
346
00:13:00,628 --> 00:13:01,628
What?
347
00:13:01,766 --> 00:13:02,939
Call me constantly.
348
00:13:03,077 --> 00:13:04,363
A hundred times between
now and 5:00 o'clock.
349
00:13:04,387 --> 00:13:05,802
On the cell phone, on the pager.
350
00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:08,009
Beep me, buzz me,
page me, fax me.
351
00:13:09,181 --> 00:13:11,101
I gotta tell you, I'm a
little aroused right now.
352
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,595
Eventually, they're gonna
realize that I can't cut the cord.
353
00:13:15,734 --> 00:13:17,054
They made a horrible
mistake in hiring me,
354
00:13:17,078 --> 00:13:18,226
and they're gonna
have to let me go.
355
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,295
Sweetie, are you sure? Call me!
356
00:13:19,319 --> 00:13:20,433
All right, all right, all right!
357
00:13:20,457 --> 00:13:21,665
Okay, wait, wait, wait!
358
00:13:21,803 --> 00:13:24,010
Wait. Hold the
receiver over the baby.
359
00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:25,837
Okay. Hold on a second.
360
00:13:25,975 --> 00:13:28,148
Ugh, she's got her
toes in her mouth.
361
00:13:30,666 --> 00:13:31,676
Yeah. You know what? Never mind.
362
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:32,700
Yeah, okay.
363
00:13:33,907 --> 00:13:35,735
Ugh, she's got her
toes in her mouth.
364
00:13:35,873 --> 00:13:36,873
All right. Very good.
365
00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:38,045
What's going on?
366
00:13:38,183 --> 00:13:39,745
Nothin'. Hey, did you try
the pumpernickel bread?
367
00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:41,736
Please, no more bread!
368
00:13:41,874 --> 00:13:44,667
Damn it, woman. You turned
the socks pink in the laundry again.
369
00:13:44,805 --> 00:13:46,770
I've never even
done your laundry.
370
00:13:46,908 --> 00:13:48,184
Well, why the hell not?
371
00:13:49,115 --> 00:13:50,322
Aren't they great?
372
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:51,460
Mm-hmm.
373
00:13:51,495 --> 00:13:52,529
Oh. Whoops.
374
00:13:53,115 --> 00:13:54,115
Excuse me.
375
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,460
Hello.
376
00:13:56,529 --> 00:13:57,944
Okay. I'm calling you.
377
00:13:58,082 --> 00:14:00,013
Awww. How is she?
378
00:14:00,151 --> 00:14:02,358
Honey, I gotta say,
it's a little ridiculous.
379
00:14:02,496 --> 00:14:04,047
No, no, no, sweetie.
The red booties.
380
00:14:04,185 --> 00:14:08,047
Yeah, okay All right.
Here's a question for ya.
381
00:14:08,185 --> 00:14:09,305
You know, I always wondered,
382
00:14:09,358 --> 00:14:12,461
why would a person drive
the Chevy to the levee
383
00:14:12,599 --> 00:14:13,669
if they know
384
00:14:16,117 --> 00:14:18,462
They know full well
that the levee was dry?
385
00:14:19,531 --> 00:14:20,808
Uh-huh. I don't know.
386
00:14:20,946 --> 00:14:23,739
Sweetie, the snuggly
snaps up in the back.
387
00:14:23,877 --> 00:14:25,842
Also and I've always
wanted to know this
388
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:27,877
Do you really think that
bad, bad Leroy Brown
389
00:14:28,015 --> 00:14:32,256
was, like, the baddest man in the
entire Chicago metropolitan area?
390
00:14:32,394 --> 00:14:34,016
Because that's a huge
statement to make.
391
00:14:34,153 --> 00:14:35,153
Yes. Yes, it is.
392
00:14:35,256 --> 00:14:36,508
The vitamins are in the dropper.
393
00:14:36,532 --> 00:14:37,636
It's 4 drops, then a kiss.
394
00:14:37,774 --> 00:14:39,054
I gotta go back
to work, sweetie.
395
00:14:39,188 --> 00:14:40,568
Okay. You know what puzzles me?
396
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,050
If you're gonna
shoot the sheriff,
397
00:14:42,188 --> 00:14:44,464
why not take out the deputy?
398
00:14:44,602 --> 00:14:46,922
'Cause the deputy saw the
whole thing, so you get 'em both.
399
00:14:47,051 --> 00:14:48,499
Yeah. Good-bye.
400
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,096
I don't know why you say
good-bye. 'Cause I say hello.
401
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,120
Good-bye.
402
00:14:51,982 --> 00:14:52,982
Hello, hello.
403
00:14:53,982 --> 00:14:54,982
What was that?
404
00:14:55,086 --> 00:14:56,776
Ah, nothing. Jamie's
just a little bored.
405
00:14:56,914 --> 00:14:59,327
Listen, I gotta go talk to
this Nimrod at the newspaper.
406
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:00,638
I want you to do me a favor.
407
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:02,304
Call dad and have him
fax something to Jamie.
408
00:15:02,328 --> 00:15:03,707
What?
409
00:15:03,845 --> 00:15:05,028
You know, anything. Like,
a question about Mabel.
410
00:15:05,052 --> 00:15:06,304
And then you wait
a couple of minutes,
411
00:15:06,328 --> 00:15:07,890
and then call her
yourself at the office.
412
00:15:07,914 --> 00:15:08,914
And say what?
413
00:15:10,052 --> 00:15:12,294
Just say here. Say this.
414
00:15:12,432 --> 00:15:15,846
I understand why the big
wheel keeps on turning,
415
00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:17,915
but, why and this
is the tricky part
416
00:15:18,053 --> 00:15:19,653
Why would the Proud
Mary keep on burnin'?
417
00:15:25,364 --> 00:15:26,778
I gotta say, it's
very impressive,
418
00:15:26,916 --> 00:15:28,396
the way you can...
419
00:15:28,434 --> 00:15:30,572
Whoops. Sorry.
420
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,089
Hey, sexy.
421
00:15:32,227 --> 00:15:33,227
It's Sylvia.
422
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:38,814
How long has it been since
I've had my arms around you?
423
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,642
A long time.
424
00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:48,469
Well, honey, we are
gonna change that.
425
00:15:49,228 --> 00:15:50,538
I really should go.
426
00:15:50,677 --> 00:15:51,849
All right.
427
00:15:52,884 --> 00:15:55,263
Okay, you tiger.
I'll see ya tonight.
428
00:15:55,401 --> 00:15:56,678
Okay. Bye.
429
00:15:57,643 --> 00:15:58,643
Sorry.
430
00:16:00,298 --> 00:16:01,850
When you're a little older,
431
00:16:01,988 --> 00:16:04,954
you and I will sit down
and discuss your parents.
432
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,540
Mr. Wrongstag, I want to
thank you for the kind words
433
00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:11,782
you wrote about my film.
434
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,058
Ah, it's my pleasure.
435
00:16:13,195 --> 00:16:15,127
Can't tell ya how much
I enjoyed Feldman.
436
00:16:16,471 --> 00:16:18,644
Okay. Here is the thing.
It's not called Feldman.
437
00:16:18,782 --> 00:16:20,680
It's actually called Buchman.
438
00:16:21,645 --> 00:16:22,645
Are you sure?
439
00:16:24,472 --> 00:16:25,714
Yes, I'm sure.
440
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,301
Glad we found that out.
441
00:16:27,438 --> 00:16:29,852
Yeah. Well, I gotta tell ya,
442
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:33,646
we found quite a lot of
factual errors in your article.
443
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,163
Oh, my goodness. Really?
444
00:16:35,301 --> 00:16:36,819
Yeah. I mean, tons of them.
445
00:16:36,957 --> 00:16:38,888
For starters, I'm not Cuban.
446
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:41,267
Oh, my goodness.
447
00:16:41,405 --> 00:16:42,440
Never been to Cuba.
448
00:16:43,129 --> 00:16:44,129
Never been to Cuba?
449
00:16:44,198 --> 00:16:45,198
Never been to Cuba.
450
00:16:46,129 --> 00:16:47,198
Uh, also
451
00:16:47,336 --> 00:16:49,751
My son Mabel? Actually
a beautiful little girl.
452
00:16:50,854 --> 00:16:51,923
Uh, makes sense.
453
00:16:52,061 --> 00:16:54,510
Yep. I've never fought
as a welterweight.
454
00:16:55,475 --> 00:16:56,475
Sorry about that.
455
00:16:56,544 --> 00:16:58,061
That can happen. Sure enough.
456
00:16:58,199 --> 00:17:00,359
And if you're gonna get
one thing right in the article,
457
00:17:00,406 --> 00:17:03,475
don't fool around
with my mother's age!
458
00:17:03,613 --> 00:17:05,544
You know, she
looks terrific for 86.
459
00:17:07,613 --> 00:17:09,442
You know why that might be?
460
00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:12,028
Just hypothesizing
maybe 'cause she's not!
461
00:17:13,649 --> 00:17:14,822
She's not 86!
462
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,476
She's not 86? No!
She's nowhere near 86!
463
00:17:17,614 --> 00:17:19,014
Well, then, that
would be a mistake.
464
00:17:19,098 --> 00:17:20,098
Yes.
465
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,960
But, see, here's my problem.
466
00:17:24,098 --> 00:17:26,650
Uh, we got to press
in less than an hour.
467
00:17:26,788 --> 00:17:30,650
And I couldn't possibly correct this
many mistakes, even if I wanted to.
468
00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:31,892
You can't?
469
00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:33,990
No. I'm afraid we're
gonna have to live with this.
470
00:17:37,271 --> 00:17:39,720
Okay Okay, Mr. Wrongstag.
471
00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:40,858
I understand.
472
00:17:40,962 --> 00:17:41,962
Good.
473
00:17:42,031 --> 00:17:43,376
Can I just use your phone?
474
00:17:43,514 --> 00:17:44,794
I'm just gonna call my attorney.
475
00:17:45,203 --> 00:17:46,445
Your attorney?
476
00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:47,583
Dial 9?
477
00:17:47,687 --> 00:17:49,963
Uh...
478
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:53,963
Now, on those rare occasions
where twisting of arms doesn't work,
479
00:17:54,101 --> 00:17:57,135
we like to go for a spot that
we call the corporate groin.
480
00:17:57,273 --> 00:17:58,273
Ooh, yikes.
481
00:17:59,515 --> 00:18:01,101
Whoop. Excuse me.
482
00:18:01,826 --> 00:18:02,826
Hello.
483
00:18:02,929 --> 00:18:04,342
Yeah. Alan Dershowitz, please.
484
00:18:06,757 --> 00:18:08,957
Paul Buchman calling they're
gonna put me right through.
485
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:11,136
Honey, no. She
wants her winky walrus.
486
00:18:11,274 --> 00:18:13,447
She's not gonna be
happy with the pudgy poo.
487
00:18:13,585 --> 00:18:15,965
Alan? Uh, listen
488
00:18:16,103 --> 00:18:18,516
Do you have the
Wrongstag file in front of you?
489
00:18:18,654 --> 00:18:20,619
No. Gerard giraffe
is for 2 and older.
490
00:18:20,758 --> 00:18:22,275
Tell me again,
491
00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:24,458
what was the punitive damage
figure we were talking about?
492
00:18:24,482 --> 00:18:26,642
Just no. Just round it off to
the nearest hundred grand
493
00:18:27,931 --> 00:18:30,828
♪ Winky, winky walrus,
winky, winky walrus
494
00:18:30,966 --> 00:18:33,931
♪ Winky, winky,
winky, winky walrus
495
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,760
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
496
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:38,000
Hoo, hoo, hoo Baby.
497
00:18:38,967 --> 00:18:40,001
Okay. I love you.
498
00:18:40,138 --> 00:18:42,001
I love you, too, Alan.
499
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,414
Sorry.
500
00:18:44,518 --> 00:18:45,863
All right, now, here again
501
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,829
Jamie, fax for you from home.
502
00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:50,692
Some guy named Pop Pop
wants to know Mabel's hat size.
503
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:51,830
Sorry.
504
00:18:53,106 --> 00:18:54,450
Hello.
505
00:18:54,588 --> 00:18:56,830
Hi, sweetie. Listen,
Mabel's hat size is a small.
506
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:57,968
It's you again.
507
00:19:01,485 --> 00:19:02,485
What are you wearing?
508
00:19:06,796 --> 00:19:08,314
I'm hanging up.
509
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,623
Take a shower. I'm
coming home at 5:00.
510
00:19:12,555 --> 00:19:15,210
I'm sorry for everything
I ever did wrong to you!
511
00:19:16,935 --> 00:19:18,935
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
512
00:19:20,555 --> 00:19:22,315
Stop calling me!
513
00:19:24,211 --> 00:19:26,487
So sorry. You must be
totally out of patience with me
514
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:28,625
and thinking you've
made a terrible mistake.
515
00:19:28,764 --> 00:19:29,971
Oh, on the contrary,
516
00:19:30,109 --> 00:19:32,695
I admire very much the way
you're juggling everything.
517
00:19:32,833 --> 00:19:34,454
Yeah. You're
quite an inspiration.
518
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,040
Oh, great.
519
00:19:42,316 --> 00:19:45,213
Whoops. Spilled coffee
on my proposal for work.
520
00:19:46,696 --> 00:19:49,662
This won't impress
general motors at all.
521
00:19:50,179 --> 00:19:51,179
Uh-oh, honey.
522
00:19:51,317 --> 00:19:52,973
The pie chart. What a shame.
523
00:19:54,662 --> 00:19:56,524
And...
524
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:58,869
Hey, I accidentally erased
it off the hard drive, too.
525
00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:02,076
What are you doing?
526
00:20:02,214 --> 00:20:04,905
These people are gonna
fire me if it's the last thing I do.
527
00:20:05,042 --> 00:20:08,421
Jeez. I really hope Mabel gets
your wonderful business sense.
528
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,388
Hi. Hi.
529
00:20:11,801 --> 00:20:12,801
How are you?
530
00:20:12,870 --> 00:20:14,733
Good. How are you? Good.
531
00:20:14,870 --> 00:20:15,870
Hey, Sylvia.
532
00:20:15,939 --> 00:20:16,939
Hello.
533
00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:22,871
Oh, hey. Is that the article?
534
00:20:23,009 --> 00:20:24,492
Yeah. Let me see. Let me see.
535
00:20:24,629 --> 00:20:27,078
Ricky Wrongstag really
loved the movie. Oh, good.
536
00:20:27,216 --> 00:20:29,296
I mean, of course he made a
couple of little factual errors.
537
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:30,320
Oh, I knew it!
538
00:20:30,389 --> 00:20:31,389
And he promised me
539
00:20:31,527 --> 00:20:32,389
he was gonna
watch the film again.
540
00:20:32,527 --> 00:20:33,700
The important thing, Paulie,
541
00:20:33,838 --> 00:20:35,424
is to see the
forest for the trees.
542
00:20:35,561 --> 00:20:37,217
Let me see. Let me
see the thing, please.
543
00:20:37,355 --> 00:20:39,735
"Paul Buchman's
new movie Buchman"
544
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,045
Already better.
545
00:20:41,183 --> 00:20:42,804
"Chronicles his
family's founding
546
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,804
of the Chinese communist party."
547
00:20:48,597 --> 00:20:51,667
"Raised on a rice farm in the
hunan province," apparently,
548
00:20:51,805 --> 00:20:55,012
"Talk of revolution first began
when Paul was a small boy."
549
00:20:55,149 --> 00:20:56,598
My god!
550
00:20:56,736 --> 00:20:59,012
Unbelievable, "he was
initiated by his mother Sylvia,
551
00:20:59,150 --> 00:21:01,150
who eventually wrote
the party's manifesto."
552
00:21:02,771 --> 00:21:04,495
Sylvia, I had no idea.
553
00:21:04,633 --> 00:21:07,772
"Sylvia is a coquettish woman
of, perhaps, 38 years old."
554
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:11,461
All right. So it's
not a total loss.
555
00:21:23,394 --> 00:21:24,394
Taste this bread.
556
00:21:25,876 --> 00:21:26,911
Where'd you get it?
557
00:21:27,049 --> 00:21:28,566
I made it! Come on!
558
00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:29,912
No, seriously.
559
00:21:30,049 --> 00:21:31,266
You know that big thing
Joan and Debbie gave us
560
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,705
that we use to store rice in?
561
00:21:33,705 --> 00:21:34,843
The rice holder?
562
00:21:34,981 --> 00:21:36,341
Well, actually,
what I'm saying is,
563
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,533
it's a bread machine.
564
00:21:39,015 --> 00:21:40,215
What did you do with the rice?
565
00:21:40,326 --> 00:21:42,602
Honey, for now, let's
just celebrate the bread.
566
00:21:45,947 --> 00:21:47,844
It's the greatest,
this bread machine.
567
00:21:47,982 --> 00:21:49,706
You just put the
guck in, turn it on,
568
00:21:49,844 --> 00:21:51,644
and go make yourself a
sandwich or, something.
569
00:21:51,672 --> 00:21:52,913
An hour later, bread.
570
00:21:53,051 --> 00:21:54,776
Then you make yourself
another sandwich.
571
00:21:58,361 --> 00:21:59,465
Where are the regular guys?
572
00:22:40,538 --> 00:22:41,848
Taste this bread.
573
00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:44,262
Where'd you get it?
574
00:22:44,365 --> 00:22:45,918
I made it! Come on!
575
00:22:46,056 --> 00:22:47,125
No, seriously.
576
00:22:47,262 --> 00:22:48,583
You know that big thing
Joan and Debbie gave us
577
00:22:48,607 --> 00:22:50,159
that we use to store rice in?
578
00:22:51,056 --> 00:22:52,228
The rice holder?
579
00:22:52,366 --> 00:22:53,780
Well, actually,
what I'm saying is,
580
00:22:53,918 --> 00:22:55,090
it's a bread machine.
581
00:22:56,159 --> 00:22:57,539
What did you do with the rice?
582
00:22:57,677 --> 00:23:00,022
Honey, for now, let's
just celebrate the bread.
583
00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:05,229
It's the greatest,
this bread machine.
584
00:23:05,367 --> 00:23:07,229
You just put the
guck in, turn it on,
585
00:23:07,367 --> 00:23:09,067
and go make yourself a
sandwich or, something.
586
00:23:09,091 --> 00:23:10,402
An hour later, bread.
587
00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:12,100
Then you make yourself
another sandwich.
588
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,023
Where are the regular guys?
41879
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