All language subtitles for Last Of The Summer Wine s24e09 The Second Husband.eng
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1
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:12,840
I know it's not easy to tell, but
is Smiler looking more miserable than usual? He's looking for love.
2
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:19,340
Has he thought of marrying instead?
With a face like that, it's more suitable. I've been married.
3
00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:24,260
She left. I expect she couldn't take
the excitement. She should've said.
4
00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:29,120
I could've lowered my sparkle a bit.
Maybe it's nothing personal.
5
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:35,860
Maybe she thought tha were dead.
I could liven up for the right person. I don't want anything flash.
6
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:42,900
Just as well, because I don't think
tha's GOIN' to get anything flash. Have you any experience of flash?
7
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:45,700
I play the mouth organ. Only sadly.
8
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:50,700
I LIKE sadly. Oi! Enough. If I want
depressing, it's available at home.
9
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:55,180
In all sizes. Our lass
and her sister keep a full range.
10
00:01:42,740 --> 00:01:46,700
HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE
"Here's looking at you, kid."
11
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,180
CLICK-CLICK!
12
00:01:57,180 --> 00:02:01,620
Have you been too long in the fumes
from that window cleaning stuff?
13
00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:06,640
You haven't forgotten our click?!
It got you going in the old days.
14
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,020
Oh, THAT click.
15
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,060
CLICK-CLICK!
16
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,820
How come it doesn't work any more?
17
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:22,280
Maybe cos it's hard to distinguish
from your new-false-teeth clicks.
18
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:28,780
Why is it you don't look at me
like you used to? What, in amazement?
19
00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:35,240
I still do.
When you were young, you used to look at me like I was Mr Magnifico.
20
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:38,300
Ooh - not only young but stupid.
21
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:43,120
You didn't think that when I used to
sneak up on you and nibble your ear.
22
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,100
Oh, it were you, were it?
Course it was me.
23
00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:02,520
Now, that's how I used to look
at you.
24
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,300
I don't think he even saw us.
25
00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:10,620
Maybe he heard you clicking.
See what happens?
26
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:26,240
My mistake. I thought there was
someone at the door. Oh, sorry, yes,
27
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,300
come in...
28
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:32,860
Shouldn't I be saying that?
Oh, right. Yes, it's me to come in.
29
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,160
How do, Truly?
30
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:41,140
LOUD KNOCK
31
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:49,620
Mrs Leland!
32
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,960
Hey up!
He thinks he's a Mrs Leland.
33
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,460
Do you think
he'll want the best china?
34
00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:01,760
Cleggy,
do you think I look attractive?
35
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:09,180
That's two going strange.
Is it their annual outing? He looks a bit odd this morning.
36
00:04:09,180 --> 00:04:13,740
Looks better than thee in that
pinny. SHE dresses me up like this,
37
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:20,700
then she forgets how attractive
she used to find me. I can see how that could skip somebody's mind.
38
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,400
First name - Norris.
39
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,180
Mrs Norris Leland...
40
00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:33,180
He can have the best china but I'll
not start calling him Mrs Leland.
41
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:37,300
Why would he want to be
a Mrs Leland? You tell us.
42
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:42,360
Tha's the one in the pinny. Enough
of being a doormat for the wife!
43
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:49,120
Time she was reminded who's boss.
Ooh! What's tha going to do, Howard? I'm going to INSIST
44
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,880
on a plain pinny. No frills.
45
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:56,480
A butcher's apron.
One or two nasty stains.
46
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,640
Not real blood?!
47
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:03,020
Tomato sauce?
I like it!
48
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:15,780
Don't look now,
but I think we're being stared at
49
00:05:15,780 --> 00:05:19,820
by a Mrs Leland.
..Who's coming with me?
50
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:24,680
To be a lady? I don't think so.
To meet this fellow. Norris Leland.
51
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:31,160
If you're going to meet somebody,
why do you need company? Not company exactly. It's more your backup.
52
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:37,360
Who's put thy back up?
..Wouldn't surprise me if it's that bloke Doris. Backup.
53
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:43,960
Police training - unless there's no
option, you never go into a tricky situation without some backup.
54
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:49,980
Are we to understand
this is some dangerous situation you're kindly inviting us into?
55
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:53,540
Well, it has the potential
for being nasty.
56
00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:58,280
Sounds more attractive by the
minute. Who is this Norris Leland?
57
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:05,460
He's the bloke who's married the
former Mrs Truelove. ..Ye gods! You don't suppose he'd bring her along?
58
00:06:05,460 --> 00:06:11,500
Don't panic. She can't hurt thee
now she's remarried. She'd be offside.
59
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:16,080
Never being one to pry...
What is actually in the letter?
60
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:23,060
He's got some insurance papers
that need my signature. Read the small print. There may be a clause
61
00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:26,060
which lets him send her back.
62
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:40,620
How much money that could've gone
to a better cause have you spent on that dating agency? I told him!
63
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:45,680
He should've got a season ticket.
Have they found you anybody yet?
64
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:52,340
Or have you been reduced in their
sale? They nearly found me somebody last month. I sent her a photo,
65
00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:56,180
but then she had to stay in
and build a patio.
66
00:06:56,580 --> 00:07:01,200
It so happens that a good fairy is
just about to come to your rescue.
67
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:07,620
Instead of wasting your money,
why not spend wisely with another agency who can do you good?
68
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:11,160
There isn't another one round here.
Oh, really?
69
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,860
Take a business card. You?
70
00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:17,380
Since when have you run
a dating agency?
71
00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:22,060
Since I saw how much he's spending.
The cards are yours to keep
72
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:26,820
for 5p each, refundable on
signature of your first contract.
73
00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:30,460
Have you got any females
on your books?
74
00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:35,220
How about, just for openers,
two sisters, unattached,
75
00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:38,820
former showgirls?
Any more questions?
76
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,820
Will you take a cheque?
77
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:52,820
I shouldn't be standing out here
in the open. He could be some sort of lunatic. He MARRIED her.
78
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:57,180
Well, YOU married her.
Exactly. You see what I mean?
79
00:07:57,180 --> 00:08:01,740
Stay here, I'll wait there till
you make sure she's not with him.
80
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,740
RUMBA MUSIC
81
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,420
CRASH!
82
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,960
SPAGHETTI-WESTERN MUSIC
83
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,880
She said you were a hard man.
84
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,920
Me?
85
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,780
I used to be a lino salesman.
86
00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:02,800
You're not still carrying
your Stanley knife?
87
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,060
It's him you want.
88
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,660
Is he alone? He's alone.
89
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,720
Mr Truelove? Correct.
90
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:24,100
Mr Leland? Correct.
91
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:28,640
I suppose these are the thugs
you've brought to intimidate me?
92
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:36,420
Hey up! I'm a direct descendant of
Robin Hood. Oh, take what you want. She warned me to bring no valuables.
93
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:40,520
Put your hands down. These two
couldn't intimidate a Brownie.
94
00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:47,040
Some of them are nasty,
those Brownies!
95
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:54,060
Is there somewhere we could go?
I-I think it's only fair to give you time to study the papers.
96
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:59,020
I intend to. I intend to have 'em
looked at by my financial adviser.
97
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:06,060
She said you'd say that. They're
all above-board. We've no objection.
98
00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:10,820
His financial adviser?
I hope it's not me or thee.
99
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:19,760
Are these two gentlemen coming?
I thought you'd be alone. I intended to be, but they insisted on coming.
100
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:26,080
I find that somewhat sinister.
If you can brave my missus, you can cope with these two.
101
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,740
She's not your missus. Sorry.
102
00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:33,320
The exit's this way.
Yeah, I know, I can read the sign!
103
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:39,560
This is gonna be a laugh a minute.
He wants taking somewhere where we can liven him up a bit.
104
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,120
Not everybody drinks, you know.
105
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,280
Yeah, I've read that.
106
00:10:48,534 --> 00:10:57,134
Morning, Ivy! Now, a quiet corner
table please, Ivy, where one can discuss a little private business.
107
00:10:57,134 --> 00:11:04,014
They're all private! Who'd listen
in on YOU? You don't think anyone's interested in YOUR business?!
108
00:11:04,014 --> 00:11:09,394
(Who is he?) His tango instructor.
I'll tango you, in a minute!
109
00:11:09,394 --> 00:11:12,454
They're, er,
they're sort of vaguely related.
110
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:16,154
Oh, you mean like Billy is
to his brains?
111
00:11:16,154 --> 00:11:20,454
I love coming here.
It's just like being at home.
112
00:11:20,454 --> 00:11:25,334
It's the bloke who married his
former missus. What's he come for,
113
00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:32,154
her log book? Just something
for him to sign. It must be funny staring at your wife's husband
114
00:11:32,154 --> 00:11:35,954
and he's happily married.
I wouldn't say "happily".
115
00:11:35,954 --> 00:11:39,294
He's just bearing up.
Oh, he told you that?
116
00:11:39,294 --> 00:11:43,134
Well, you don't ask.
These things are personal.
117
00:11:43,134 --> 00:11:47,754
You seem to know enough about it,
anyway. Who else have you told?
118
00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:50,374
Me? Nobody. My lips are sealed.
119
00:11:57,114 --> 00:12:04,054
You popped in the paper shop.
How many did you tell? I bumped into one of my former Merry Men.
120
00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:11,294
Merry Man. You only had one. Well,
he was there. Entirely trustworthy. A former comrade in arms.
121
00:12:17,374 --> 00:12:21,234
We're being stared at.
Well, they're curious.
122
00:12:21,234 --> 00:12:28,314
To see what you look like.
So was I. Me, too. I suppose she gave you a description of me.
123
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:34,414
Several. But you came anyway. It was
that or SHE would've had to come.
124
00:12:36,194 --> 00:12:38,714
You made the right decision.
125
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:42,854
Do you think
we could go somewhere quieter?
126
00:12:46,614 --> 00:12:52,854
You CAN come in, Barry.
No need to stay in the kitchen just cos the ladies are here.
127
00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:57,234
I like the kitchen. Honest!
It's only when they're here
128
00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:01,474
that I realise how MUCH I like it.
They won't bite. Really?
129
00:13:01,474 --> 00:13:04,854
I wouldn't expose my neck
to your mother.
130
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:12,954
So how long's this person
been married to Mr Truelove's wife?
131
00:13:12,954 --> 00:13:18,954
Oh, I don't think for a minute
she's still Mr Truelove's wife. Well, no,
132
00:13:18,954 --> 00:13:21,694
that might be too complicated.
133
00:13:21,694 --> 00:13:24,354
Interesting, but complicated.
134
00:13:24,354 --> 00:13:28,874
Two husbands? I'd have thought
one would've been enough.
135
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:33,194
Even a small one.
I've got all I want, thank you,
136
00:13:33,194 --> 00:13:35,814
sitting in the kitchen. Ooh(!)
137
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:43,034
A new washing machine? That's nice.
I don't know why some of YOU married at all.
138
00:13:43,034 --> 00:13:46,234
We've ALL wondered that.
139
00:13:46,234 --> 00:13:52,254
Has anybody seen him? What does he
look like, this second husband? PHONE RINGS
140
00:13:53,654 --> 00:14:00,574
Hello...? Oh, hello, Mr Truelove...
Insurance forms? Yes, Mr Truelove, I do quite a bit of that.
141
00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:10,074
Mr Truelove wants me to look at
insurance forms with him and some gentleman. It's the second husband!
142
00:14:10,074 --> 00:14:16,254
You'll get a good look at him.
You must go Barry. And make notes. Say you'll go, Barry.
143
00:14:16,254 --> 00:14:18,974
I'm not that much of an expert.
144
00:14:18,974 --> 00:14:20,574
GO, BARRY!
145
00:14:24,314 --> 00:14:26,294
Hey, up!
146
00:14:29,554 --> 00:14:33,794
Is this the second husband, then?
Oh, good grief!
147
00:14:33,794 --> 00:14:40,214
What kind of communication do you
have round here? We have our own satellite. I suggest a drink,
148
00:14:40,214 --> 00:14:46,514
until my financial adviser arrives.
She said you'd either be hostile or ply me with drink.
149
00:14:46,514 --> 00:14:54,434
Ply? Nobody plies. Tha'll stand thy
round! I doubt it'll be more than one. It's not a festive occasion.
150
00:14:54,434 --> 00:14:59,454
He TALKS like a second husband.
My missus' second one was the same.
151
00:14:59,454 --> 00:15:01,554
Gobby.
152
00:15:01,554 --> 00:15:09,034
Yes, it's an area notorious for
tactful landlords. ..I think we'd better take Mr Leland to a table.
153
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,634
Er, what's tha drinking, Doris...?
154
00:15:11,634 --> 00:15:15,174
Norris!
Just something small for me.
155
00:15:15,174 --> 00:15:19,814
Small and lethal or small and just
wet? Small and wet is just fine!
156
00:15:22,274 --> 00:15:25,794
He's gonna need some livening up,
is yon.
157
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:32,334
Yeah, there seems to be a lively
market in used wives these days. There is HERE.
158
00:15:32,534 --> 00:15:36,874
How how many husbands
has your missus had? I'm the third.
159
00:15:36,874 --> 00:15:39,534
Does she ever get confused?
160
00:15:39,534 --> 00:15:42,494
I have this T-shirt
with "No. 3" on it.
161
00:15:43,614 --> 00:15:47,314
Does she ever call you
by the wrong name? Huh!
162
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:53,854
I dunno a wrong name she hasn't
called me. Sounds like she's ready for No. 4. You sit down, Billy.
163
00:15:53,854 --> 00:16:00,354
I'll get the drinks, eh? ..You'll
have to excuse him. His mother was frightened at birth. What by?
164
00:16:00,354 --> 00:16:02,334
Him.
165
00:16:04,014 --> 00:16:08,554
How's thy missus, then, Norris?
Yes, I was wondering that.
166
00:16:08,554 --> 00:16:15,754
She's fine, thank you. No. Come on.
How is she, honestly? I've just told you - fine. We're both fine.
167
00:16:15,754 --> 00:16:19,814
Are you sure
you've got the right address?
168
00:16:25,314 --> 00:16:27,774
That's her all, right.
169
00:16:28,994 --> 00:16:36,834
Pay attention. This is the biggie!
Former showgirls! We've gotta get this one right. How do we do that?
170
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:43,354
We pull out all the stops, don't
we? Now, first appearances are very important. What are we gonna wear?
171
00:16:43,354 --> 00:16:49,394
I usually wear this. And they
usually turn and go home! I know what you usually wear.
172
00:16:49,394 --> 00:16:56,374
That's why you're still single.
..Auntie, these former showgirls, what kind of things do they like?
173
00:16:56,374 --> 00:16:58,854
Oh, well, let's see...
174
00:17:01,794 --> 00:17:04,434
Now, Queenie and Babs...
175
00:17:04,434 --> 00:17:07,294
D'you hear that? Queenie and Babs!
176
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:12,294
Showbiz names. A real touch of the
old theatrical glamour here, boy.
177
00:17:12,294 --> 00:17:14,934
Horse riding. Equestrian pursuits.
178
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,834
Ooh, bit classy! Good sign.
179
00:17:17,834 --> 00:17:24,974
I can't ride horses. Have you tried?
I don't imagine you've ever even considered the advantages
180
00:17:24,974 --> 00:17:31,494
of Auntie Wainwright's
Riding School and Livery Services. Nobody has got to ride horses.
181
00:17:31,494 --> 00:17:38,094
It just gives a clue as to
the kind of thing we ought to wear. The girls are horsey. Fair enough.
182
00:17:38,094 --> 00:17:41,774
We know where we stand.
Yeah... Yeah.
183
00:17:53,254 --> 00:17:59,654
Would you tell the gentleman
at that end of the table it's a simple document? He's read it,
184
00:17:59,654 --> 00:18:03,194
and it simply requires
his signature.
185
00:18:03,194 --> 00:18:06,054
Did tha get that, Truly? I got it.
186
00:18:06,054 --> 00:18:13,834
Kindly tell the gentleman at that
end of the table I sign nothing without my financial adviser.
187
00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:19,734
Message received and understood?
Understood. She said he'd be difficult.
188
00:18:19,734 --> 00:18:22,274
Tell him SHE was the difficult one.
189
00:18:22,274 --> 00:18:25,054
Tell him she said he'd say that.
190
00:18:26,194 --> 00:18:29,634
Excuse me, sorry. That's OK. Sorry.
191
00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:32,194
I'm terribly sorry! It's OK, love!
192
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:37,654
HE looks cuddly.
There's only one, how would we divide him up?
193
00:18:37,654 --> 00:18:41,474
Might be fun finding out.
..Fancy a drink, Juicy Fruits? M...
194
00:18:41,474 --> 00:18:44,294
Me... Me... I have an appointment.
195
00:18:44,294 --> 00:18:46,534
O-Over there.
196
00:18:50,114 --> 00:18:52,874
Talk about a terrifying experience!
197
00:18:52,874 --> 00:18:59,134
Not now, Barry, you can have one
later. Here, cast your eyes over these documents.
198
00:19:01,334 --> 00:19:04,174
You'll find them perfectly in order.
199
00:19:04,174 --> 00:19:09,054
Tha were making good friends at
the bar there, Barry. Who are they?
200
00:19:09,054 --> 00:19:13,594
I think it's a visiting rugby team.
Shouldn't there be more?
201
00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:20,294
They ARE more. Concentrate, Barry,
then you can go back to your friends. Read these, lad,
202
00:19:20,294 --> 00:19:24,854
and tell me if there's any reason I
shouldn't sign. No reason whatever.
203
00:19:24,854 --> 00:19:30,054
You sure about this, Mr Truelove?
I'm mainly experienced with houses.
204
00:19:30,054 --> 00:19:34,074
Ouch! Not only expert
but extremely modest.
205
00:19:34,074 --> 00:19:39,274
The sharpest financial brain in the
area. ..Read the documents, Barry.
206
00:19:39,274 --> 00:19:41,734
I'm reading, I'm reading.
207
00:19:45,354 --> 00:19:50,594
Mr Truelove tells so many tales of
his former wife, it makes you wonder
208
00:19:50,594 --> 00:19:56,874
what kind of a person has married
her this time. My Barry will be able to give us a description.
209
00:19:56,874 --> 00:20:03,074
Do you think he will(?)
Do you think men ever notice anything that really matters?
210
00:20:03,074 --> 00:20:08,894
True. Unless it has skirts up to its
eyebrows, they're effectively blind.
211
00:20:08,894 --> 00:20:14,994
My Barry has exceptional eyesight,
with glasses. My Barry's usually reliable.
212
00:20:14,994 --> 00:20:17,594
Sometimes I worry about you.
213
00:20:17,594 --> 00:20:24,014
How many times do I have to tell
you? One thing you can rely on is they're not reliable.
214
00:20:32,114 --> 00:20:35,494
Is it about
a party of the first part?
215
00:20:35,494 --> 00:20:39,954
I've always wanted to meet
a party of the first part.
216
00:20:39,954 --> 00:20:46,794
You wonder what they eat for
breakfast. Would they wear boxer shorts? I never wondered that.
217
00:20:46,794 --> 00:20:52,854
No, of course, because you're busy,
aren't you? On account being a direct descendant of Robin Hood.
218
00:20:52,854 --> 00:20:56,494
That must be it.
HE never wore boxer shorts.
219
00:20:56,494 --> 00:21:01,094
Not under them tights. It would've
ruined the aerodynamics.
220
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:08,654
It's all fairly straightforward.
Seems OK to me, Mr Truelove. You'll forgive me if I say I told you so.
221
00:21:08,654 --> 00:21:15,234
Tell the gentleman at the end of
the table that only a fool signs a document without some legal advice.
222
00:21:15,234 --> 00:21:17,754
I wouldn't call it LEGAL ad...
223
00:21:17,754 --> 00:21:20,254
M-My pleasure, Mr Truelove.
224
00:21:22,694 --> 00:21:27,194
When did tha meet Mrs Truelove,
then? She's not Mrs Truelove!
225
00:21:27,194 --> 00:21:30,134
Sorry. He will be.
226
00:21:30,134 --> 00:21:34,034
I heard that.
She said you'd be vindictive.
227
00:21:34,034 --> 00:21:36,814
SPAGHETTI WESTERN MUSIC
228
00:21:43,814 --> 00:21:48,854
I-I hear they're altering
the one-way system again!
229
00:21:50,114 --> 00:21:52,774
Well, just thought I'd mention it.
230
00:21:52,774 --> 00:21:57,974
I've never really got to grips
with the existing one-way system.
231
00:21:57,974 --> 00:22:02,654
But I understand there's a chap
in Arnold Street who claims to have.
232
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:08,834
They're like that in Arnold Street.
So what I was wondering is... shall we have another drink?
233
00:22:08,834 --> 00:22:11,874
Or would you just prefer to argue?
234
00:22:11,874 --> 00:22:14,414
There'll be no arguments.
235
00:22:14,414 --> 00:22:20,554
It's not my nature
to quarrel with old men. Old men? You're the same age as me.
236
00:22:20,554 --> 00:22:23,894
I am several years younger.
She told me.
237
00:22:23,894 --> 00:22:27,054
Norris, tha's a tomboy!
238
00:22:33,534 --> 00:22:38,294
I was Truly of the Yard, lad.
I'll show you who's an old man.
239
00:22:39,834 --> 00:22:44,014
I knew it. Here we go.
A challenge. I like a challenge.
240
00:22:44,014 --> 00:22:50,454
Choose your weapons! I ought to
be going. Tha daren't go. Tha'll have to pass them two at the bar.
241
00:22:52,874 --> 00:22:55,654
You're right. I daren't go.
242
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,774
Ooh...! I have to tell you
243
00:23:04,774 --> 00:23:09,634
I don't feel natural
in riding britches. You look great.
244
00:23:09,634 --> 00:23:16,134
You've got the legs for a horse.
Just remember what it's all for. It's worth a bit of effort. Hey!
245
00:23:16,134 --> 00:23:22,574
Come on. Babs and Queenie!
They're real showbiz names. Babs and Queenie, wow!
246
00:23:22,574 --> 00:23:25,574
Suppose they want to see the horses?
247
00:23:25,574 --> 00:23:31,854
We've sent 'em back to the stables,
haven't we? The grooms took them. We've got grooms?
248
00:23:31,854 --> 00:23:38,894
Not a lot. Just a few grooms.
We've got to lay it on a bit thick. These are former showgirls!
249
00:23:38,894 --> 00:23:43,774
They're used to the glitz
and the glamour. Aww...
250
00:23:48,634 --> 00:23:51,534
D'you fancy a wrestle, Juicy Fruits?
251
00:23:51,534 --> 00:23:54,934
I'm sorry, I'm expecting a hernia.
252
00:23:59,454 --> 00:24:02,014
What a couple of primulas!
253
00:24:02,014 --> 00:24:05,214
No, no, no! It's pathetic.
254
00:24:05,214 --> 00:24:11,734
You need some practice. ..You take
this one, love, and I'll take this twit here. They need the training.
255
00:24:11,734 --> 00:24:15,854
You're sure you want to attempt it?
I used to be Truly of the Yard.
256
00:24:18,134 --> 00:24:24,614
I-I don't believe we've met.
We're just about to, you cuddly old devil!
257
00:24:24,614 --> 00:24:29,594
By gum, they're big, fine lasses!
I bet they could pull a bow.
258
00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:33,294
I bet they could pull a caravan.
259
00:24:33,294 --> 00:24:37,954
How're you doing, Norris? I wish we
could start with something smaller.
260
00:24:37,954 --> 00:24:44,174
Don't fear love, I'll be gentle.
Course, she could be lying. That's what I'm afraid of.
261
00:24:45,514 --> 00:24:52,054
When we walk through into the pub,
the ladies'll just assume we've been riding. We have been riding.
262
00:24:52,054 --> 00:24:56,374
There you are.
Would I lie to you? BICYCLE BELL RINGS
263
00:24:56,374 --> 00:24:59,374
Hey up! Steady...!
264
00:25:01,374 --> 00:25:03,674
Howard!
265
00:25:03,674 --> 00:25:10,834
Sorry... What they don't tell you
about looking cool is that a person can't see too well in these.
266
00:25:10,834 --> 00:25:13,674
Why are you wearing a lady's blouse?
267
00:25:13,674 --> 00:25:18,494
It is not a lady's blouse!
Why are you dressed like that?
268
00:25:18,494 --> 00:25:23,394
Look who's talking! We've ladies to
meet. They're fond of horse riding.
269
00:25:23,394 --> 00:25:27,974
I've got a wife to meet.
She thinks I'm past looking cool.
270
00:25:27,974 --> 00:25:34,594
She may have something there. Pay
no attention. He's always nervous when he gets this close to romance.
271
00:25:34,594 --> 00:25:42,054
Dunno why. It's as close as I ever
get. Why are you looking for Pearl? You normally head the other way.
272
00:25:42,054 --> 00:25:44,814
I have nothing to hide.
273
00:25:44,814 --> 00:25:49,854
I can walk into this pub
perfectly freely and face the wife.
274
00:25:52,574 --> 00:25:54,574
ENGINE COUGHS
275
00:25:55,834 --> 00:25:57,994
CAR BACKFIRES
276
00:26:05,734 --> 00:26:10,594
Oh, she's a terrible old banger.
I couldn't offer you more than...
277
00:26:10,594 --> 00:26:17,734
She's not for sale. In case anyone's
listening, I wish you two would make it clear it's about a pick-up.
278
00:26:19,334 --> 00:26:26,954
He's jacking the price up. I mean
it. She's not for sale. I can't come all this way and not do business!
279
00:26:26,954 --> 00:26:31,534
I thought we'd come for a peek at
Mr Truelove's wife's new husband.
280
00:26:31,534 --> 00:26:38,574
I can't see why we can't - AND do
business. No. No sale! They say you can't mix business with pleasure.
281
00:26:38,574 --> 00:26:42,914
They seem to manage it
when it's funny-business.
282
00:26:42,914 --> 00:26:46,294
MEN SING
283
00:26:46,294 --> 00:26:50,794
# ..Always together
in all kinds of weather
284
00:26:50,794 --> 00:26:54,394
# Dear old pals, jolly old pals... #
285
00:26:54,394 --> 00:27:01,174
How long have they been drinking
companions? Since they had a nasty experience together.
286
00:27:01,174 --> 00:27:08,194
What nasty experience? Babs
and Queenie. Are they here? Where are they? Next to Truly at the bar.
287
00:27:08,194 --> 00:27:10,694
# ..Jolly old pals... #
288
00:27:17,914 --> 00:27:20,854
I thought you said showgirls! Mmm.
289
00:27:20,854 --> 00:27:23,734
Yorkshire Show, Lincolnshire Show.
290
00:27:33,634 --> 00:27:36,394
How d'you like this, then, kid?
291
00:27:39,634 --> 00:27:42,294
How do you like THIS, then, kid(?)
292
00:27:47,774 --> 00:27:50,314
Come on, on you go!
293
00:27:50,314 --> 00:27:53,074
They'll be getting married next.
294
00:27:53,074 --> 00:27:57,794
Well, I expect life seems sweet
after Babs and Queenie.
295
00:27:58,694 --> 00:28:03,514
Ah, he's so brave.
He's only going back to his missus.
296
00:28:03,514 --> 00:28:06,494
Exactly. Without a murmur.
297
00:28:20,294 --> 00:28:23,334
Do you think he'll be all right?
298
00:28:23,334 --> 00:28:26,414
Well, YOU survived. Only just.
299
00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:30,814
What about me and my missus?
Who feels sorry for me?
300
00:28:30,814 --> 00:28:36,054
Well, we do really, Billy. Tha does?
Is that true? I think that's nice.
301
00:28:36,054 --> 00:28:40,254
I think this is getting
disgustingly sentimental.
302
00:28:40,254 --> 00:28:44,834
It's time something happened
to bring us down to earth. It has.
303
00:28:44,834 --> 00:28:48,334
You're standing in it.
304
00:28:48,334 --> 00:28:50,994
That... Well, that...
305
00:28:50,994 --> 00:28:54,814
And sort of, you know, quite....
Oh, really!
306
00:28:54,814 --> 00:28:57,814
He was... He had a hat!
307
00:28:57,864 --> 00:29:02,414
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