All language subtitles for Last Of The Summer Wine s24e04 The Secret Birthday.eng
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,722 --> 00:00:10,962
What do you think about birthdays?
I think I've had too many of 'em.
2
00:00:10,962 --> 00:00:16,882
I mean, what do you think of other
people's birthdays? Oh, I can stand them!
3
00:00:16,882 --> 00:00:21,142
Cos it's, er, it's mine tomorrow.
Oooh! Happy...
4
00:00:21,142 --> 00:00:26,162
Don't start. I don't want any fuss.
I hate all that.
5
00:00:26,162 --> 00:00:30,982
They used to be harmless.
Nobody really bothered, but...
6
00:00:30,982 --> 00:00:37,922
now it's like a circus. You don't
want balloons? Excuse me while I go and up-chuck behind that bush.
7
00:00:37,922 --> 00:00:41,062
All right - no balloons.
8
00:00:41,062 --> 00:00:45,982
No, I... I thought we might
have a meal. Just you and me.
9
00:00:45,982 --> 00:00:52,942
Somewhere nice. I don't want
anyone else to hear a squeak about birthdays. An undercover birthday.
10
00:00:52,942 --> 00:00:55,502
Fine by me.
11
00:01:41,082 --> 00:01:45,642
Hey. Don't hang about out there.
People will see you.
12
00:01:45,642 --> 00:01:52,502
Hang about? If I'd come in faster,
I'd have taken the paint off your door. There is no-one out there.
13
00:01:52,502 --> 00:01:57,162
They give that impression,
but they can be at windows.
14
00:01:57,162 --> 00:02:04,262
What are they going to see? See?
You're joking. They're going to see that terrible betrayer of secrets -
15
00:02:04,262 --> 00:02:09,202
the best suit. And, ah, they'll
want to know why. Don't tell 'em.
16
00:02:09,202 --> 00:02:13,442
Round here
you get grilled by experts.
17
00:02:13,442 --> 00:02:18,722
One tactic for these occasions is
to lie. I'll guide you through. Lie?
18
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:23,202
You know -
sometimes called "giving evidence".
19
00:02:23,202 --> 00:02:28,722
Look, maybe if we went there all
scruffy and then got changed there.
20
00:02:28,722 --> 00:02:33,982
Norman. Happy Birthday. Relax.
You haven't told anybody?
21
00:02:33,982 --> 00:02:36,722
Only the kiss-a-gram girl.
22
00:02:36,722 --> 00:02:39,202
..Oh, joking, joking.
23
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:45,562
Loosen your collar. Get some air.
They used to come once a year. Now it seems like every week.
24
00:02:45,562 --> 00:02:52,022
Don't get paranoid.
It's just a birthday. Let's hope it stays a nice, quiet birthday.
25
00:02:54,102 --> 00:03:00,722
Oh, by the way,
I've, er, noticed that you haven't asked me how old I am.
26
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:06,262
Well, I may have a go at pulling
your leg but I'm not a sadist.
27
00:03:06,262 --> 00:03:11,182
I can't remember what it's like
NOT to have a bus pass.
28
00:03:11,182 --> 00:03:15,162
Time passes quickly
when you're older.
29
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,802
I could do with 36 hours a day.
30
00:03:17,802 --> 00:03:19,742
Mostly sleeping.
31
00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:21,602
Well, anyway...
32
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,422
How do I look?
33
00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:28,842
As if it's your birthday.
34
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:34,282
Will you be in this mood all day?
I never know. Check in later.
35
00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:41,182
I mean, it looks like a best suit.
It's fatal. It's a dead giveaway. It looks like an old best suit.
36
00:03:41,182 --> 00:03:46,122
Phew! I suppose I ought
to be grateful for small mercies.
37
00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:53,382
Come on. Let's get you somewhere
where you'll be less twitchy. Make sure there's nobody outside, eh?
38
00:03:57,322 --> 00:04:00,642
There's no-one.
All right. Off we go then.
39
00:04:00,642 --> 00:04:07,362
And if they catch us, then
don't say anything about birthdays, or they'll smother me in confetti.
40
00:04:07,362 --> 00:04:14,982
There you are, you see? You're
looking on the bright side already. You could have been getting married.
41
00:04:32,322 --> 00:04:37,502
He's in his best suit.
Ye gods - it's contagious!
42
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:50,482
Do you feel better now? Much.
Yeah. We should be all right now.
43
00:04:50,482 --> 00:04:55,462
I wonder why Howard
was wearing his best suit.
44
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:59,042
That's what
he'll be wondering about me.
45
00:04:59,042 --> 00:05:03,582
There's no reason why everyone
should wonder why you're wearing...
46
00:05:10,382 --> 00:05:13,742
Don't ask. Fair enough.
47
00:05:17,182 --> 00:05:21,022
Not a bad morning for it. For what?
48
00:05:21,022 --> 00:05:26,382
For whatever it is
you're dressed up for. Don't ask.
49
00:05:27,102 --> 00:05:29,942
Who's asking?
50
00:05:32,562 --> 00:05:36,022
It's a plot. It's an epidemic.
51
00:05:36,022 --> 00:05:39,482
Hey up. Why is...? Don't ask.
52
00:05:39,482 --> 00:05:44,942
Everybody's wearing...
Don't ask. Is it some kind of secret? Yes.
53
00:05:44,942 --> 00:05:47,062
Aw. Aw...
54
00:05:55,662 --> 00:05:58,542
Everybody's looking very smart today.
55
00:05:58,542 --> 00:06:05,462
I deny that. I am not looking smart.
I may be looking nearly smart, but that is just accidental.
56
00:06:05,462 --> 00:06:10,482
I wear a clean shirt - I'm accused
of smartness. You're overdoing it.
57
00:06:10,482 --> 00:06:13,302
He's a bit twitchy this morning.
58
00:06:13,522 --> 00:06:18,402
Clean collars. Ah, men are never
comfy in clean collars.
59
00:06:18,402 --> 00:06:24,762
I'll be honest - mine's killing me.
This is no kind of attire for a free spirit.
60
00:06:24,762 --> 00:06:32,382
Talking of free spirits, will there
be drinks? There'd better be. That's why I'm not driving.
61
00:06:32,382 --> 00:06:37,042
I still say it's a plot.
They're having a giggle at me.
62
00:06:37,042 --> 00:06:44,162
It's just coincidence. Stop getting
worked up. They're going somewhere. At least they'll be out of our way.
63
00:06:44,162 --> 00:06:47,502
You don't think
they've heard about...?
64
00:06:47,502 --> 00:06:51,342
No,
I don't think they've heard about...
65
00:06:52,882 --> 00:06:58,442
Entwistle in a suit! Well,
that does it. It really is a plot.
66
00:06:58,442 --> 00:07:02,842
Where are you going?
We'll get another bus.
67
00:07:02,842 --> 00:07:06,042
What's up with them?
68
00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:11,962
Tight collars. Lack of oxygen. Cuts
the air supply. Affects the brain.
69
00:07:11,962 --> 00:07:16,262
There must be
a lot of tight collars round here.
70
00:07:18,602 --> 00:07:23,462
I saw him.
Cleggy was in his best suit.
71
00:07:23,462 --> 00:07:28,782
Maybe he were going to the wedding.
I don't think he knows the people.
72
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:33,622
Maybe he were going to another
wedding. He wasn't wearing a flower.
73
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:43,702
If I know Norman Clegg, he won't
be in any hurry to wear his flower. Have I got this in straight?
74
00:07:43,702 --> 00:07:49,062
Close your mouth before summat
flies into it. A light aircraft.
75
00:07:49,062 --> 00:07:52,562
What you gawping at? You look...
76
00:07:52,562 --> 00:07:56,242
attractive. Cheeky beggar.
77
00:07:56,242 --> 00:08:00,362
I've not had a face transplant,
you know.
78
00:08:00,362 --> 00:08:07,002
I hope you're not going to start
throwing yourself at the men. That's it. That's enough.
79
00:08:07,002 --> 00:08:13,642
Not another word.
Silence is not only golden, it's just become compulsory for you.
80
00:08:13,642 --> 00:08:18,142
And, no,
your flower's not on straight.
81
00:08:18,142 --> 00:08:22,422
And nor
will your head be in a minute.
82
00:08:28,522 --> 00:08:33,662
Where are we going for this secret
birthday? To a hotel. Hotel?
83
00:08:33,662 --> 00:08:41,302
Not just a bar meal? Hotel. Thought
we'd do it right. Have a linen napkin. More than one knife. Each.
84
00:08:41,302 --> 00:08:47,882
I'm impressed. Well, we've
got rid of that lot. All we've got to do now is relax and enjoy.
85
00:08:47,882 --> 00:08:52,922
Norman Clegg, that was!
And in his best suit.
86
00:08:52,922 --> 00:08:58,262
Ah, well, yes, I'm just looking
after it while the owner's away.
87
00:08:58,262 --> 00:09:02,542
And Mr Truelove looking very chic.
It's just a gift.
88
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:09,542
Are we all going my way? You'll have
to ask the suit. From the way it's pulling, it wants to cross the road.
89
00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:13,582
What a coincidence.
It makes a girl believe in fate.
90
00:09:13,582 --> 00:09:20,642
Are we in town for anything
special? Er, no, no, no. Just routine. Here and there, you know.
91
00:09:20,642 --> 00:09:25,282
Gentlemen of leisure. Another
coincidence. It's my day off, too.
92
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:33,942
Footloose and fancy free.
We ought to do this more often.
93
00:09:33,942 --> 00:09:38,022
I'm way beyond footloose.
Everything's loose!
94
00:09:38,022 --> 00:09:44,362
He mustn't get excited, except
under close supervision. He's in good hands. Nobody does it closer.
95
00:09:44,362 --> 00:09:49,082
Shouldn't you be meeting Howard?
Oh, he's not free today...
96
00:09:49,082 --> 00:09:52,622
whoever he is.
Tell her this is as far as we go.
97
00:09:52,622 --> 00:09:58,262
Tell him not to worry. I have
very strict rules in that direction.
98
00:09:58,262 --> 00:10:02,562
What he means is a little drink
in the bar and then some lunch.
99
00:10:02,562 --> 00:10:07,742
Why not? How kind!
Let's live a little.
100
00:10:13,722 --> 00:10:18,482
I just hope her daughter won't be
there. Megan? Of course she will.
101
00:10:18,482 --> 00:10:23,982
You'd be there if YOUR mother
was getting married. She'd have been horrified if I was.
102
00:10:23,982 --> 00:10:27,342
That was when it was religious.
It's mostly showbiz now.
103
00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:31,762
Funny having your mother getting
married. It's nice for the woman.
104
00:10:31,762 --> 00:10:38,122
I just hope Megan's not there.
What's wrong with her? She always wants to talk about interest rates.
105
00:10:38,122 --> 00:10:44,642
Barry, no business talk today. Well,
just keep an eye on me in case she grabs me. Barry, you look terrific.
106
00:10:44,642 --> 00:10:50,742
If anybody backs you in a corner,
it'll probably be me. Not now, Glenda. I've got a headache.
107
00:11:00,482 --> 00:11:04,802
Your birthday's so full
of surprises, your hand's shaking.
108
00:11:04,802 --> 00:11:10,262
It's just an impression it gives
when it's shaking. How do we get rid of my surprise?
109
00:11:10,262 --> 00:11:14,342
We? It's your surprise.
YOU invited her.
110
00:11:14,342 --> 00:11:19,102
I just told her we were going
for lunch. It could be worse.
111
00:11:19,102 --> 00:11:23,502
When people say that,
they mean it could hardly be worse.
112
00:11:23,502 --> 00:11:30,042
The place could be full of people
watching you taking Marina for lunch. Watching US taking Marina for lunch.
113
00:11:30,042 --> 00:11:33,422
I'm just a guest.
Howard's going to kill you.
114
00:11:34,922 --> 00:11:38,082
Oh, my favourite.
How did he know?
115
00:11:38,082 --> 00:11:40,482
She asked for it.
116
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:45,542
Only under my breath.
We must be connected telepathically.
117
00:11:45,542 --> 00:11:48,042
Tell her it's a wrong number.
118
00:11:48,042 --> 00:11:55,102
"What's her favourite drink?"
he said, closing his eyes. "I bet I can guess her favourite drink!"
119
00:11:55,102 --> 00:12:00,562
What a powerful mind!
He gets all mixed up, poor soul.
120
00:12:00,562 --> 00:12:05,102
It's sad, but not all bad.
He's kind to old ladies.
121
00:12:05,102 --> 00:12:07,282
How is he with young?
122
00:12:07,282 --> 00:12:10,142
Well, he invited you, didn't he?
123
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:19,100
I thought she looked quite good,
considering her age, and the fact she's never been over-attractive,
124
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:22,040
especially after that operation,
and that hat.
125
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:29,400
She'll look worse when she's had him
a year. He's such a misery. Not just full time, it's also his hobby.
126
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:36,740
I sometimes wish that I'd been more
miserable. Being good-natured gets you into all sorts of difficulties!
127
00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:41,840
Howard manages quite well just on
lack of judgement, don't you, love?
128
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:48,000
I thought we weren't going
to be like that today. At the reception. Not the whole day.
129
00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:55,320
They say the groom's very good with
plants. Knows all the Latin names.
130
00:12:55,320 --> 00:13:02,160
Oh, well, at least they'll be able
to enjoy visiting garden centres. It'll pass the honeymoon nicely.
131
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:09,100
Now, why didn't WE think of that?
You told everybody we'd had a lovely week. I meant the weather!
132
00:13:13,820 --> 00:13:19,560
Actually, it were a disaster -
ruined by shyness and nerves.
133
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,720
That's how young ladies were
in our day.
134
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:25,800
Not me. Him!
135
00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:34,960
I don't think I ever had one that
was nervous. Although I must admit, none of them were rank beginners.
136
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:40,680
They're not born nervous, love. You
have to steer them in that direction.
137
00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:45,380
How comes he can get married
at his age and I'm still unattached?
138
00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:49,000
He dazzled her with his expertise
in greenfly.
139
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,240
I can play the trumpet.
But does it get rid of greenfly?
140
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:53,320
You're getting better. I got you
chatting to that woman last week.
141
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:58,320
He was chatting somebody up?
Without his trumpet? Where? In the supermarket.
142
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,880
She was standing there
looking at continental cheeses.
143
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:12,740
If she can stand continental cheeses,
I thought he was in with a chance.
144
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:17,540
So I give him this opening line
and sent him off. Well, go on, then.
145
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:23,620
Excuse me, madam,
what do you recommend for finishing a dinner party?
146
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:26,560
Oh, all in good taste. Very classy.
147
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,740
Right. No rubbish.
How did he handle it?
148
00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:36,420
I delivered it properly. "Excuse me,
madam, what do you recommend for finishing a dinner party?"
149
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:39,960
She gives me one look and she says,
150
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:47,380
"I bet you could finish it quick
enough without any help from me." And off she goes to the cold meats.
151
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:49,920
Not cold meats!
152
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,460
- You're making progress.
- Progress?!
153
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:54,840
You got insulted instead of ignored.
154
00:14:57,420 --> 00:15:01,680
I can't get my head round
Hubert as a married man.
155
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:07,980
I've always held him up
as an example of how you can stay single if you really tried.
156
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:10,120
They won't be a minute.
157
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,940
Mum's just freshening up.
..Oh, hello, Barry!
158
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:19,080
Oh, you're looking good today.
Catch you later!
159
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:26,080
You will not be caught later, Barry.
I suppose that very forward common person was Megan.
160
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:32,520
How come it took you nearly
two seconds to dislike her? Why was she waving at you?
161
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:39,540
I told you. She sees me as the key
to a better rate of interest. Let her find her own key!
162
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:47,540
Well, of course, if I'd known two
gentlemen were taking me for lunch, I'd have made more of an effort.
163
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:55,180
It's customary at this point
to say, "You look fine, anyway."
164
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:57,500
Fine. That's it. Yes.
165
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:01,220
Just the word we were searching for.
As Norman will tell you.
166
00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:07,620
Of course, if you want to postpone
the luncheon, we'd quite understand, however disappointed we might be.
167
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:12,740
It wouldn't be fair to keep you here
against your better judgement.
168
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:18,320
I'm at the age where I can't afford
better judgement. I won't disappoint you.
169
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,580
I'll stay.
170
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:25,500
I'll just pop to the powder room
and do the best with what I've got.
171
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:33,340
She does. She does the best
with what she's got.
172
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:37,480
I just wish
she wasn't doing it here.
173
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,860
Here they are. Give them a cheer!
174
00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:44,860
Oh, come on, Mother.
Oh, cheer up, Mother.
175
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:48,220
It's him.
Why wouldn't he kiss the bride?
176
00:16:48,220 --> 00:16:54,140
Not in public. We never used to do
that. It's American. It's rubbish. I never kissed the last one.
177
00:16:54,140 --> 00:17:01,540
It'll be one of the better marriages.
They stand a chance when they're not all lovey-dovey.
178
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,880
I never knew you were so miserable.
You never asked.
179
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,280
Right. Big smile, everybody.
180
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:13,180
Right, now, if everybody would like
to make their way to the reception.
181
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:15,380
Oh, how are you, Barry?
182
00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:20,180
I'm fine. I don't think you know
Glenda. I've never had the pleasure.
183
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:24,340
And he'd better keep it that way.
Your mother looked nice.
184
00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:28,560
Your Barry's being very helpful
in keeping my interest at maximum.
185
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:33,020
He does a fair job with mine.
Just normal professional courtesy.
186
00:17:35,980 --> 00:17:39,740
So, we give the girl a lunch.
Make the best of it.
187
00:17:39,740 --> 00:17:44,860
Oh, I don't mind that. It's just
the idea of somebody seeing us.
188
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:51,660
I'm sure we're old enough
not to raise any eyebrows. Ah, Mr Truelove, Mr Clegg. Hello, Vicar.
189
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:58,140
It's a pleasure to see
two smartly dressed gentlemen enjoying their own company.
190
00:17:58,140 --> 00:18:05,580
You get too many in here with women
who don't exactly look like wives, if you know what I mean. Oh, yes.
191
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:13,800
Well, here it is, guys.
What you see is what you get.
192
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:23,700
Now, if you'd all like to make
your way to the function suite.
193
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,980
Reserved exclusively for our use.
194
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:32,100
Can't we have a drink in the bar
first? There will be drinks available in the function suite.
195
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:38,480
Oh, I hope it's not sweet sherry.
It's not the sort of drink for a direct descendant of Robin Hood.
196
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,880
I like sweet sherry.
I rest my case.
197
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:47,760
Maybe that's the secret.
Maybe that's what's been holding him back romance-wise.
198
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:53,100
He's ruined his image
with sweet sherry. He's dented it with more than that!
199
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:56,180
Come along, ladies and gentlemen.
200
00:18:56,180 --> 00:19:00,840
Who put HER in charge? I expect
she's just organising everything.
201
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:05,620
You can see she has a flair
for what you might call gobby!
202
00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:11,800
She likes her already.
It's only when they're shopping they can't make up their mind.
203
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:16,480
Where's Howard?
Well, he was here a minute ago.
204
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:21,020
That's his description to a T.
"He was here a minute ago."
205
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:25,760
He's up there with Mr Hardcastle.
Not too far from the duty warder!
206
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:31,080
Come along, stragglers. Make your
way straight to the function suite.
207
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:40,220
So there I was - a young constable
alone in the darkness. Oh, I wish I'd been there.
208
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:43,740
In the early hours of the morning.
My favourite time.
209
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:48,480
With no back-up, listening to these
noises coming from the cemetery.
210
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:52,020
Good heavens! What did you do?
211
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:55,360
About 90 miles an hour
back to the police station.
212
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,480
He lies. I bet he was heroic.
213
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,400
Of course! ..He said modestly.
214
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,100
Why don't I get the menus?
215
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:08,280
Go on! Go on!
216
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:13,300
Well, I crept closer to the cemetery
on tiptoe in rubber-soled boots,
217
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:19,760
drawing my truncheon in one smooth
movement. People have no idea of the perils of the police force.
218
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,780
You're right. All those
criminal experts for starters.
219
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:27,280
Excuse me. Menus, please.
..Oh, thank you.
220
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:39,100
Oh, hello. Could I have three menus,
please? Thank you.
221
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,120
GLASS CRASHES
222
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,380
Howard!
223
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:43,020
Your flower's wilting...as
I've noticed on numerous occasions.
224
00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:47,760
For better, for worse, we said.
So when's this better bit coming?
225
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,580
Watch this space, kid.
226
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,620
Here, there's no need to overdo it!
227
00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:20,540
Couldn't we find him a funeral
instead of a wedding?
228
00:22:20,540 --> 00:22:26,600
He were in a good mood a second ago.
They change so quickly. It's probably hormones.
229
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:32,940
They're very strange internally.
He gets indigestion, you'd think he had surround-sound.
230
00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:36,440
He looks desperate enough
to start writing poetry!
231
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,720
Psst.
232
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:56,080
Excuse me.
233
00:22:59,820 --> 00:23:03,920
Now what? You'll never believe
who's here. Who IS here? Everybody.
234
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:09,720
Don't start exaggerating.
Leave that to the professionals. See for yourself.
235
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:14,820
Oh, there's a ray of sunshine(!)
236
00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:18,920
It's weddings.
That's how they are at weddings.
237
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,140
Not as bad as that.
238
00:23:21,140 --> 00:23:25,620
That's how mine always was.
Especially at ours.
239
00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:28,920
Well...at their own, you expect it.
240
00:23:32,660 --> 00:23:36,740
How long has she been seeking
better interest?
241
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:39,540
Ages.
It's got to stop, Barry.
242
00:23:39,540 --> 00:23:42,800
Don't tell me, tell Megan.
You call her Megan?
243
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:47,100
Her name's Megan.
You can't call her Mrs...Thing?
244
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:50,640
It sounds like
you're BOTH after more interest.
245
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:57,200
My sister's got a face like that.
Built for bad news.
246
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,520
A face like that IS bad news.
247
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,000
People should smile more.
248
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,100
I mean at weddings!
249
00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:11,640
Cheer up, Howard,
it's not as if tha's the groom!
250
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,620
I feel too betrayed.
251
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:19,100
You were all right a minute ago!
252
00:24:19,100 --> 00:24:25,660
It's bad enough when you find things
going on behind your back...with people you thought you could trust.
253
00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:32,800
I mean, I hardly know the lady,
but I didn't think she would be involved with...certain people.
254
00:24:33,780 --> 00:24:39,620
Marina?! Tha's caught Marina with
some other reckless fool?! Who?!
255
00:24:39,620 --> 00:24:42,040
You won't believe.
256
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:44,660
We shan't if you won't tell us.
257
00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:49,840
I know how he feels. My missus went
off with this really ugly bloke...
258
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,940
I wouldn't mind
if he'd been better looking than me.
259
00:24:53,940 --> 00:24:58,360
Where is she going to find anybody
better looking than you?
260
00:24:58,360 --> 00:25:00,640
Is he taking the wee-wee?
261
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,340
I think there's a possibility.
262
00:25:03,340 --> 00:25:07,860
So, come on, Howard,
tell us who it is.
263
00:25:07,860 --> 00:25:12,160
You wouldn't believe it...
so I'll show you.
264
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,940
It's worse than I thought!
265
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:32,500
What are you all doing here?
Hubert and Hilda's wedding. What are you doing here?
266
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:39,640
I'm supposed to keep it a secret,
but it's Clegg's birthday. He wanted us to go for lunch somewhere quiet.
267
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:46,220
It's no concern of mine since I
hardly know the young lady, but what are you doing leading her astray?
268
00:25:46,220 --> 00:25:50,480
She got picked up accidentally!
It's Cleggy's birthday!
269
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,620
Why should he have
a present of those proportions?!
270
00:25:54,620 --> 00:25:59,880
Come off it! She's safer with him
than being in a nunnery!
271
00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:04,040
Oh, Norman, if only you knew!
272
00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:13,200
What are they all doing here?
They're at a wedding.
273
00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:21,480
You ought to find your Howard.
I don't like to see men suffering.
274
00:26:22,820 --> 00:26:24,280
At weddings.
275
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,260
Howard!
276
00:26:30,260 --> 00:26:34,940
It was just an invite for lunch!
I understand that now.
277
00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:40,380
I forgive you. I believe you're
jealous, Howard. Of course I am!
278
00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:42,680
Oh, Howard!
279
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,760
Oh, Marina! Oh, heck!
280
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,840
She's with them!
281
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,520
It's true.
They kindly invited me for lunch.
282
00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:00,760
It's his birthday.
283
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,940
Norman!
284
00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:08,900
I knew it!
285
00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:13,040
Where is everybody?
There's a lot of good food upstairs.
286
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:18,280
Come on, get dug in. Bring your
friends. Bring their lady friend.
287
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,380
Happy birthday, Norman.
288
00:27:33,380 --> 00:27:36,080
ALL: Happy birthday, Norman.
289
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,240
# Happy birthday to you
290
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,880
# Happy birthday to you
291
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,660
# Happy birthday, dear Norman
292
00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:50,960
# Happy birthday to you! #
293
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,300
- Where's Norman Clegg?
- Where's Cleggy?
294
00:28:19,300 --> 00:28:22,000
Where's the birthday boy?
295
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,240
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
296
00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:32,840
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
28353
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.