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1
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:11,800
Morning!
2
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:24,180
A free bottle of wine
with EVERY purchase? Try me.
3
00:00:24,180 --> 00:00:29,460
A full bottle? Ooh, I can see
you're of a wild, impulsive nature.
4
00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:34,520
I've seen you at work, Auntie.
And I've seen YOU with Marina.
5
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:39,680
Could we come to some arrangement?
Of course we can, lad.
6
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:45,220
What kind of wine? I believe it's
elderflower. Oh, home-made wine.
7
00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:50,240
Very OLD home-made wine. I bought
it years ago from an old person.
8
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:54,280
I've had it for ages.
It could be past its best.
9
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,400
Never bothers you when it's Marina.
10
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:01,460
She's only a bit of a slip
of a thing.
11
00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:06,060
Oh, come inside, lad.
You're a natural buyer.
12
00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:08,940
And underneath all that caution,
13
00:01:08,940 --> 00:01:12,920
you've got a real gift
for not being choosy.
14
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,340
Go on!
15
00:01:56,320 --> 00:02:01,600
Great! You've been neglected,
but you've found a good home now.
16
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:06,620
Huh! You'd think only a mother
could love a thing like that.
17
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:11,680
She'll be a great machine! Well,
she may have been before the crash.
18
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:16,160
Crash? What crash? Don't tell me
this is wear and tear?
19
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:21,020
She just needs doing up a bit.
I've seen some wrecks in my life,
20
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:25,800
but even the former Mrs Truelove
looked better than this.
21
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,880
I've only just bought it.
Wait till I've worked on it.
22
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,780
You BOUGHT it?
You mean money changed hands?! Yes.
23
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:40,780
Somebody didn't pay you to take it
off their hands? I know when I'm on a good thing. She was a bargain.
24
00:02:40,780 --> 00:02:45,720
Below market value, was she?
Well below. Mmm. Probably stolen.
25
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:49,760
You're not obliged
to say anything... Stolen?!
26
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:54,580
Anything well below market value
is invariably stolen.
27
00:02:54,580 --> 00:02:59,420
I bought it from an auction!
Huh! That's dodgy for a start.
28
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:07,260
Who's going to steal
a clapped-out heap like this?!
29
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:19,460
Carry tha bag, missus?
I can manage. Go away.
30
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:24,460
Why don't we both go away?
Thee and me? A fortnight in Venice.
31
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:31,480
How would YOU afford that?
I'd pay thee back summat every week. You're hopeless with money!
32
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:36,500
Aye, getting it. Spending it,
I'm great. All right, forget Venice.
33
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:41,220
What about a bargain break
in my best bedroom? Ohh!
34
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:44,040
All right, YOUR best bedroom.
35
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,900
I'd sooner have woodworm!
36
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:52,960
I'll bring some. I need a man
in my life like I need pneumonia.
37
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:58,400
Tha shouldn't be living alone!
Supposing tha gets intruders?
38
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,460
Like who? Me. Ohh!
39
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:13,500
I think I'd better try this
before I give any more away.
40
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:18,560
Do you think it's gone off? That's
what you're going to find out.
41
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:23,620
You're going to be the centrepiece
of this experiment. Me? Why ME?
42
00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:26,140
Supposing it doesn't agree with me?
43
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:30,780
With a face like that, who'll
notice the difference? I will.
44
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:34,860
I'm giving you free drinks here
and you're complaining.
45
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:41,800
You don't know what it tastes like!
Such wicked ingratitude! I've treated you like a mother!
46
00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:48,180
And do you know why I do?
Because you're like an old woman! Get a glass.
47
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:54,340
It's probably bad. Bad?! It's not
referred to as "bad" in the trade.
48
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:57,240
In the trade it's known as "mature".
49
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:02,240
Now, can you remember that?
If any customer asks, it's mature.
50
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:16,060
Well, you'll turn it sour
glaring at it. Taste it, man.
51
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:24,340
Hey... Hey... That's not bad.
52
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:31,660
I think perhaps I'd better try
another one to make sure.
53
00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:34,100
One more. Just the one.
54
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:42,060
Oh, take that sign down. I can't
afford to give this stuff away.
55
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,720
KNOCK ON DOOR
56
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,980
Ah, Cleggy!
57
00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:53,660
You look very pleased with yourself.
58
00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:58,300
Oh, Cleggy, some days
it's just GOOD to be alive!
59
00:05:58,300 --> 00:06:02,080
Pearl's out, is she?
How did you guess?
60
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:07,040
Call it a neighbour's instinct.
Going somewhere, are we?
61
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:12,940
I just thought I'd have a bicycle
ride into the hills. Enjoy nature.
62
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:17,940
You've always been a nature lover,
Howard. I have, Cleggy.
63
00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:25,060
I thought I'd take a bit of lunch -
have a picnic. Enjoy the scenery. A breath of fresh air.
64
00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:28,100
Would that be fresh air for one...
65
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,460
or for two?
66
00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:35,320
I wish you wouldn't start these
rumours that I'm not on me own.
67
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:40,300
..I was wondering if I could borrow
a couple of wine glasses, Cleggy?
68
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:43,040
TWO wine glasses?
69
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:47,060
Well, I like two glasses,
just in case one gets dirty.
70
00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:52,640
I mean, we've got glasses of our own,
but Pearl notices if they're missing.
71
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:57,800
So I wondered if you...? Two glasses
coming up. You're a pal, Cleggy.
72
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,100
In case one gets dirty(!)
73
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:10,120
What is it you find so attractive
about Nora Batty?
74
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,700
Funny -
her husband used to ask me that.
75
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:20,280
A good lawyer could get you off
on the grounds of insanity. Tha didn't do so well with women.
76
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:24,100
Only the one I married.
The rest were fine.
77
00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:28,140
FOOTSTEPS
78
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:36,580
Hey up, Smiler's had a few.
I didn't know he was a big drinker.
79
00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:39,720
Well, he never was a little 'un,
was he?
80
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:52,660
Hey up, steady on, old lad. Having
some footwork difficulty, Smiler?
81
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:57,900
I've got to deliver a message...
to Bora Natty. Bora Natty, is it?
82
00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:02,900
Sound Romanian to me. You should
have turned right at Yugoslavia.
83
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:07,960
I think all his bones are gone.
What's tha been drinking, Smiler?
84
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:13,400
I've...I've only had two glasses!
Auntie Wainwright's home-made wine.
85
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:17,240
BOTH:
Auntie Wainwright's home-made wine?!
86
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:37,700
Oh, Howard!
Oh, Marina!
87
00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:42,720
What a coincidence!
People will never believe it was accidental.
88
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:46,880
That's because it wasn't.
They don't have to know that.
89
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,460
I feel I'm in the hands
of a master planner.
90
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:54,040
Well, I used to be secretary
of a darts team.
91
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:57,560
I'm reminded strongly
of General Montgomery.
92
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,860
Did HE play darts?
93
00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:05,720
What are WE going to play?
94
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:10,720
Where are you taking me, Howard?
I thought we'd have a picnic.
95
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,800
Ohhh, Howard!
96
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,380
Just the two of us together!
A picnic!
97
00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:30,600
Two glasses? That's what he said.
Just two glasses.
98
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:35,580
Where is he? I don't know.
I thought he was mobile again. Ah!
99
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,280
Get up, come on!
100
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:45,980
What size glasses?
Ladylike - dainty.
101
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:49,920
That's just his legs.
Are you sure? Two glasses?
102
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:56,860
It were Auntie Wainwright. Would she
give anybody more than two glasses? He's got a point there.
103
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:59,940
Oh, heck...I think I'm going to sing.
104
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:03,780
# Oh, when you're smiling... #
105
00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:07,780
He is, he's going to sing.
Get him off the street.
106
00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:11,580
# When you're smiling
When you're smiling... #
107
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:14,100
By, he's in some pain!
108
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:18,600
# When you're smiling
When you're smiling... #
109
00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:29,497
And to make everything complete,
110
00:10:29,497 --> 00:10:34,057
even a bottle of
Auntie Wainwright's home-made wine!
111
00:10:34,057 --> 00:10:36,117
Ooh, Howard!
112
00:10:36,117 --> 00:10:41,317
What'll happen if I get light-headed
and throw caution to the winds?
113
00:10:41,317 --> 00:10:43,837
I've thought about that.
114
00:10:43,837 --> 00:10:46,317
Me too, Howard.
115
00:10:46,317 --> 00:10:49,237
What we'll do is...
116
00:10:49,237 --> 00:10:53,677
instead of riding our bicycles,
we shall WHEEL them.
117
00:10:59,677 --> 00:11:03,677
Will you be all right?
I'm just taking the dog for a walk.
118
00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:08,677
But you're not used to dogs, Barry.
Well, I'll get used to it.
119
00:11:08,677 --> 00:11:11,257
They're descended from wolves.
120
00:11:11,257 --> 00:11:16,637
We said we'd look after it while
they were away. It needs a walk.
121
00:11:16,637 --> 00:11:19,037
Just be careful, Barry.
122
00:11:31,797 --> 00:11:36,817
She got married in white!
Can you believe it? White!
123
00:11:36,817 --> 00:11:40,997
Grey would be pushing it.
Not even OFF-white?
124
00:11:40,997 --> 00:11:44,597
Ooh, they've got no shame,
some people.
125
00:11:44,597 --> 00:11:49,417
She looked nice. Not as pretty
as the bridegroom, but nice.
126
00:11:55,477 --> 00:12:00,477
What's wrong with him?
Well, apart from his personality,
127
00:12:00,477 --> 00:12:04,857
two glasses of
Auntie Wainwright's home-made wine.
128
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:08,397
They must have fed it
straight into a vein.
129
00:12:08,397 --> 00:12:11,897
He needs some strong coffee.
Sit him down!
130
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:16,337
You can't have wobbling like that
in here!
131
00:12:16,337 --> 00:12:21,157
I'd have thought he was too slow
to get drunk so fast.
132
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,477
Hey...
133
00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:28,037
Bora Natty.
I've got a message for you.
134
00:12:28,037 --> 00:12:30,857
Oh! Oh! Oh!
135
00:12:30,857 --> 00:12:33,517
If you don't sit down,
136
00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:36,177
I'VE got a message for YOU!
137
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:44,777
HORRIBLY OUT OF TUNE:
# When you're smiling When you're smiling
138
00:12:44,777 --> 00:12:47,237
# When you're smiling...! #
139
00:12:49,037 --> 00:12:53,117
Oh, unhand me. I'm perfectly capable.
140
00:12:54,197 --> 00:12:57,677
Tha looks it(!)
Of course he could be lying.
141
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,477
I'm a hundred surpent better.
142
00:13:00,477 --> 00:13:03,077
Ha-ha!
143
00:13:03,077 --> 00:13:06,317
Hiya, lads!
144
00:13:49,877 --> 00:13:52,837
Come on, then, girl! Come on!
145
00:13:55,177 --> 00:13:57,677
Barry? Follow that dog!
146
00:13:57,677 --> 00:14:00,237
Does it bite? Not at that end.
147
00:14:00,237 --> 00:14:04,437
Hey, stuff this.
We need some transport.
148
00:14:08,917 --> 00:14:13,317
WESLEY:
What's he been drinking?
149
00:14:13,317 --> 00:14:17,957
BARRY:
Just water. Not the dog! He means Smiler.
150
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,617
Auntie Wainwright's home-made wine.
151
00:14:20,617 --> 00:14:25,477
WESLEY:
I'm surprised anybody can afford her home-made wine.
152
00:14:25,477 --> 00:14:30,557
She gave it away till she realised
it were fit for human consumption.
153
00:14:30,557 --> 00:14:35,577
Is Smiler an adequate test of human
consumption? Is that him there?
154
00:14:35,577 --> 00:14:39,757
That's a lamppost, Eli,
and it's not on a bicycle.
155
00:14:39,757 --> 00:14:45,797
BARRY:
It's not even my dog. I'm just looking after it for a friend.
156
00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:48,957
What sort of a dog is it? A bitch.
157
00:14:48,957 --> 00:14:52,017
I must ring the former Mrs Truelove.
158
00:14:54,077 --> 00:14:55,997
Smiler?!
159
00:14:55,997 --> 00:15:00,437
Drunk as a skunk.
On Auntie's home-made wine.
160
00:15:00,437 --> 00:15:05,657
He's usually so sober. Sober?
He's usually downright miserable.
161
00:15:05,657 --> 00:15:11,257
He was trying to balance
one of my chairs on his chin.
162
00:15:11,257 --> 00:15:15,237
They've no idea what to do
with furniture.
163
00:15:15,237 --> 00:15:17,877
Except put their feet on it.
164
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:23,197
Why do they do that? It's the
second most powerful male instinct.
165
00:15:23,197 --> 00:15:25,437
What's the first?
166
00:15:25,437 --> 00:15:27,757
Drink your coffee.
167
00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:33,337
I found it unsettling
seeing Smiler not being miserable.
168
00:15:33,337 --> 00:15:38,117
Why was he in your place?
They brought him in to sober up.
169
00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:45,357
Doesn't sound like it worked.
I can't see him with a chair on his chin. Who brought him in?
170
00:15:45,357 --> 00:15:49,317
Herbert Truelove
and him that lives next door to me.
171
00:15:49,317 --> 00:15:53,237
Oh, well, in company like that
no wonder he's drunk.
172
00:15:53,237 --> 00:15:59,057
Oh, THEY weren't drunk. Mind you,
sober's no different with that lot.
173
00:15:59,057 --> 00:16:06,397
THEY wouldn't be drunk. They've
had more practice. I'm glad my Barry's not in company like that.
174
00:16:06,397 --> 00:16:09,157
Oh, they could be in worse company.
175
00:16:11,257 --> 00:16:17,157
How IS Howard? Better than he will
be if he doesn't change his habits.
176
00:16:17,157 --> 00:16:20,617
My Barry picks his teeth.
177
00:16:20,617 --> 00:16:23,677
You should see what mine picks.
178
00:16:25,257 --> 00:16:28,237
HE HUMS HAPPILY
179
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:47,397
Oh, thank heavens!
Someone tall and sober.
180
00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:55,157
Can you help me with a gentleman who
seems to be drunk? He's a perfect stranger, but he needs assistance.
181
00:17:03,917 --> 00:17:09,277
"WESTERN" ACCENT:
If you want help, kid, all you have to do is whistle.
182
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,297
SHE JUST BLOWS
183
00:17:15,697 --> 00:17:20,437
Don't strain your lips, kid.
You never know when you need 'em.
184
00:17:20,437 --> 00:17:24,457
Actually, I keep them
in working condition.
185
00:17:24,457 --> 00:17:28,937
You could go round the clock
with a pair like yours.
186
00:17:30,077 --> 00:17:32,077
Where is he?
187
00:17:39,897 --> 00:17:42,917
I'm afraid he's going to fall.
188
00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:47,657
I've asked him to come down,
but he says he laughs at danger.
189
00:17:47,657 --> 00:17:50,157
I know the feeling!
190
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,717
AAAGH!
191
00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:31,257
Is that yours, Eli?
192
00:18:31,257 --> 00:18:34,837
It's a wall.
I've never owned a wall.
193
00:18:34,837 --> 00:18:37,137
The bicycle!
194
00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:42,057
He's found me bicycle!
Where did you find me bicycle?
195
00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:49,877
Where's the DOG?
I daren't go back without the dog.
196
00:18:49,877 --> 00:18:56,817
I'll have to wander round here
forever, looking for her. We'll come and see thee every bank holiday.
197
00:18:56,817 --> 00:19:02,217
Don't be impatient, lad.
Leave it to Truly of the Yard.
198
00:19:02,217 --> 00:19:04,357
HE-ELP!
199
00:19:04,357 --> 00:19:07,017
Somebody come quickly!
200
00:19:07,017 --> 00:19:09,737
By heck, that's a noisy dog.
201
00:19:09,737 --> 00:19:11,997
HELP!
202
00:19:16,517 --> 00:19:19,977
(Good heavens, a whole platoon!)
203
00:19:22,217 --> 00:19:25,417
Oh, I do hope you're not too late.
204
00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:29,917
Oh, she found the dog!
What would be a suitable reward?
205
00:19:29,917 --> 00:19:32,717
She'll have her own ideas on that.
206
00:19:40,997 --> 00:19:47,497
I don't know who
this wet gentlemen is, but I'm sure he'd appreciate a lift home.
207
00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:53,877
And this one came out of nowhere,
waving a dog.
208
00:19:54,937 --> 00:19:59,657
Thank goodness you found the dog.
I think she remembers me.
209
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:03,117
He looks sober now!
210
00:20:03,117 --> 00:20:05,657
I feel sober.
211
00:20:05,657 --> 00:20:08,637
Why this urge to go for a swim?
212
00:20:08,637 --> 00:20:10,877
It was the dog.
213
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:16,437
She remembers me, I can feel it. I
think I'm going to be good with dogs.
214
00:20:16,437 --> 00:20:20,457
How am I going to explain this
to Pearl?
215
00:20:20,457 --> 00:20:23,517
Well, do what you always do - lie.
216
00:20:23,517 --> 00:20:28,457
I daren't go home in this condition.
I'll have to get dried first.
217
00:20:28,457 --> 00:20:34,937
You'll soon get dry
in the back of Wesley's Land Rover. Let nature do the trick.
218
00:20:34,937 --> 00:20:39,417
I've always been a big believer
in the power of nature.
219
00:20:53,797 --> 00:20:56,337
I think I'd better get out here,
220
00:20:56,337 --> 00:21:02,157
or I'll begin to be seen as the kind
of person who enjoys male company.
221
00:21:02,157 --> 00:21:03,837
Mmwah!
222
00:21:03,837 --> 00:21:07,477
Thank you for your assistance.
Mmmwah!
223
00:21:07,477 --> 00:21:11,477
Please tell that gentleman,
whoever he is,
224
00:21:11,477 --> 00:21:14,297
that I do hope he'll soon be dry.
225
00:21:14,297 --> 00:21:19,277
I haven't been kissed like that
since I had my own police dog.
226
00:21:19,277 --> 00:21:21,757
It's better if you stand closer.
227
00:21:24,297 --> 00:21:27,037
Thank you for your assistance.
228
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:30,577
I've always had a warm spot
for dog lovers.
229
00:21:30,577 --> 00:21:33,497
I am quite new at the game, really.
230
00:21:33,497 --> 00:21:36,717
Me, too,
but here goes, anyway.
231
00:21:36,717 --> 00:21:38,237
Mmmwah!
232
00:21:38,237 --> 00:21:40,837
Is she kissing everybody?
233
00:21:40,837 --> 00:21:43,737
Only the dry ones.
234
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:48,337
Barry! What are you DOING
with that...person?!
235
00:21:48,337 --> 00:21:52,877
It's what he HAS done.
He's been extremely helpful.
236
00:21:52,877 --> 00:21:56,877
Well, I wouldn't say...extremely.
237
00:21:58,137 --> 00:21:58,157
You tend to meet other dog lovers.
238
00:21:58,237 --> 00:22:00,937
Thank you.
239
00:22:08,277 --> 00:22:10,797
Did you see all that?
240
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:13,257
And not one wrinkle!
241
00:22:27,157 --> 00:22:31,737
She's still there.
Well, what am I going to do now?
242
00:22:31,737 --> 00:22:37,837
We'll get you dry in Norman Clegg's.
But how am I going to get past Pearl?
243
00:22:37,837 --> 00:22:40,357
Well, we'll create a diversion.
244
00:22:41,717 --> 00:22:46,717
Forgive me if I'm mistaken,
but you look very like a diversion.
245
00:22:46,717 --> 00:22:49,277
I'm too cold for anything fancy.
246
00:22:49,277 --> 00:22:54,077
No wonder tha wife left thee.
Well, what's he supposed to DO?
247
00:22:54,077 --> 00:22:58,117
He goes up to Pearl
and engages her in conversation,
248
00:22:58,117 --> 00:23:05,797
till we get you safely into Norman
Clegg's. Conversation? Improvise, something off the top of your head.
249
00:23:05,797 --> 00:23:09,297
Why would she want to talk
about my cap?
250
00:23:09,297 --> 00:23:14,377
You'll have to do it. You're faster
on the tongue than he is.
251
00:23:14,377 --> 00:23:20,957
Not necessarily so with Pearl.
She can be very tricky, can Pearl. I'll vouch for that.
252
00:23:20,957 --> 00:23:25,437
You'll think of something.
You can lie as well as anyone.
253
00:23:25,437 --> 00:23:27,897
Oh, I didn't know you cared(!)
254
00:23:32,857 --> 00:23:36,917
I'm sorry to hear
about your grandma. My grandma?
255
00:23:36,917 --> 00:23:40,977
Why are they walking like that?
Like what? Like that.
256
00:23:40,977 --> 00:23:44,497
It evens the wear
on the shoe leather.
257
00:23:44,497 --> 00:23:49,137
Sorry to hear what about Grandma?
I heard she were poorly.
258
00:23:49,137 --> 00:23:52,857
She's been dead 15 years.
Ohh, THAT bad?
259
00:23:52,857 --> 00:23:56,917
..Oh, well, I can't hang about here
all day talking.
260
00:23:56,917 --> 00:24:00,957
You've no idea what a relief that is.
Ta-ta.
261
00:24:10,957 --> 00:24:12,957
Nearly dry.
262
00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:17,137
They're going to want pressing.
263
00:24:17,137 --> 00:24:22,417
Why are you looking at me? Well,
HE'S never had a crease in his life.
264
00:24:22,417 --> 00:24:26,837
I'm crease-resistant.
I've been ironing ALL day.
265
00:24:26,837 --> 00:24:30,857
Well, it looks like
tha's going to be at it again.
266
00:24:30,857 --> 00:24:37,357
I hate wet neighbours. Especially
those who bring their friends. I'm not often wet!
267
00:24:37,357 --> 00:24:40,197
That is a matter of opinion.
268
00:24:42,877 --> 00:24:47,917
Oh, I didn't know she was going
to kiss me. You just stood there!
269
00:24:47,917 --> 00:24:54,937
You LET her kiss you! She kissed
everybody. You're carrying on with a woman like that!
270
00:24:54,937 --> 00:24:58,937
I'm not carrying on!
And outside your own house!
271
00:24:58,937 --> 00:25:03,577
What if the neighbours saw!
All I did was walk the dog.
272
00:25:03,577 --> 00:25:08,017
People'd never believe
how tricky it is just walking a dog.
273
00:25:13,757 --> 00:25:16,297
Do you think she'll notice?
274
00:25:16,297 --> 00:25:19,917
I think it's a strong possibility,
Howard.
275
00:25:19,917 --> 00:25:22,517
I used to like this outfit.
276
00:25:22,517 --> 00:25:27,357
Well, it certainly likes thee,
the way it's clinging to thee.
277
00:25:29,437 --> 00:25:32,877
Look, I can't go home like this!
278
00:25:33,957 --> 00:25:40,637
What we need is another diversion.
It's not going to help his sleeve length, is it?
279
00:25:40,637 --> 00:25:45,817
No, but if we can distract Pearl,
Howard can sneak in and get changed.
280
00:25:45,817 --> 00:25:50,417
What about me? You don't have
anyone to worry about.
281
00:25:50,417 --> 00:25:57,117
Your wife ran off. You're alone
in the world. You're lucky. You call THIS lucky?
282
00:25:57,117 --> 00:26:01,137
What kind of diversion?
He'll think of something.
283
00:26:01,137 --> 00:26:05,417
He's got that kind of tricky mind.
Flatterer!
284
00:26:56,237 --> 00:26:59,077
What is it? Ssssh! Not a sound.
285
00:27:01,317 --> 00:27:04,317
(What is it? Down there.)
286
00:27:26,577 --> 00:27:30,557
Where is it? There!
Can't tha see it?
287
00:27:31,717 --> 00:27:33,577
What's up?
288
00:27:33,577 --> 00:27:35,057
AAGH!
289
00:27:43,477 --> 00:27:48,437
By heck, I enjoyed that. She's got
softer parts than tha'd imagine.
290
00:27:50,017 --> 00:27:55,417
What were you looking at, you idiot?
I don't know. It was just a blur.
291
00:27:55,417 --> 00:28:00,477
No! What were you looking at
in the first place? I don't know.
292
00:28:00,477 --> 00:28:04,757
Tha frightened it away.
Oh, for goodness sake! ..Hey!
293
00:28:04,757 --> 00:28:09,877
If tha feels like falling off
any other walls, give us a shout.
294
00:28:48,997 --> 00:28:53,597
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
295
00:28:53,647 --> 00:28:58,197
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