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1
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:50,640
I wonder why fish are slimy?
2
00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:57,440
I don't think it's going to be
a problem up here... Do you?
3
00:00:58,060 --> 00:01:00,160
I just wondered.
4
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,860
Chips can be pretty greasy too.
5
00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:09,440
I'm talking about LIVE fish,
you wally! Oh.
6
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:14,920
It's in their glands. It's
a question of natural secretions.
7
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,280
Do you understand that?
8
00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:23,540
I understand that. I'm not thick.
9
00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:26,080
Can you repeat it?
10
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:30,720
You're in with a chance
for your Merit Badge here.
11
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,840
It's in their glands. Good.
12
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:43,020
It's also a question
of "natural secretions".
13
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,220
Excellent!
14
00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:52,840
But why are they slimy?
15
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:23,420
Are you sure you want
to go on with this? Your dad says I'm getting better.
16
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:28,980
He daren't say anything else.
I'm sure I don't follow that.
17
00:02:28,980 --> 00:02:35,980
There's no shame admitting
defeat at your time of life. Driving's for young people.
18
00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:38,540
At MY time of life...?!
19
00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:45,580
If I can learn to bake
in a microwave, I can learn to handle a motor vehicle.
20
00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:49,620
You're the wrong age.
Shut up about age!
21
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:56,040
You've failed your test 7 times.
That car does something stupid EVERY time!
22
00:02:57,160 --> 00:03:04,160
Here we go again then.
Now don't YOU start. All you have to do is be bossy.
23
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:08,680
Is she working?
She's running sweet as a nut.
24
00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:13,940
What kind of a MOOD is she in?
They don't HAVE moods, Edie.
25
00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:19,280
Don't say they don't have moods.
She was like a lunatic last time!
26
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,680
You ought to let
someone younger go with her.
27
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,560
I WAS younger when we started.
28
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:33,920
- You've been moving things round!
- I haven't!
29
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:38,320
- Didn't this used to be over here?
- NO!
30
00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:19,240
Oh...! It's such a treat
riding on that carrier!
31
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:26,440
I'm glad that's over. I was
getting a really efficient cramp. A real calf crippler.
32
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:31,920
Smiley Ogden suffered the cramp.
Still used to smile though, did he?
33
00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:36,400
Nobody smiles with cramp.
34
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:40,840
Cramp's only funny
to spectators... Like ballet.
35
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:47,420
You feel such a muffin - hopping
up and down saying "Ooh, aah, eeh".
36
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:51,600
It takes the pomp
out of any circumstance.
37
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:56,140
Imagine Black Rod
banging on Parliament's door.
38
00:04:56,140 --> 00:05:02,960
"Come in!" somebody shouts.
And in he goes hopping up and down, "Ooh, aah, eeh!"
39
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:08,300
Smiley didn't go like that.
Smiley goes "Oh, oh. Oh-oh-oh!"
40
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:16,940
It's the international language
of cramp. There are visionaries who see it replacing Esperanto.
41
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:24,200
I've seen Smiley playing darts...
..Going "Ooh, aah, eeh."
42
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:29,500
No, he doesn't go like THAT!
He goes, "Ah-ah-ah, oh-oh-oh!"
43
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,420
Arrows flying every which way.
44
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:37,480
Then the barmaid rubs his leg
and before you know it,
45
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:42,940
BOTH darts teams are going,
"Ooh, ow, ow, ooh!"
46
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:47,100
No fools your competitive dartists.
47
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:51,180
He used to go outside
to scream in comfort.
48
00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:57,200
The landlord banned him for scaring
the customers. Which pub was that?
49
00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:03,900
The Seven Shepherds. If anyone
frightens the customers there, it's the LANDLORD!
50
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:10,900
He does it quieter.
He overcharges and practises for Mr Misery-guts of the Year.
51
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:14,240
Practises? Isn't he perfect?!
52
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:27,340
How's your cramp? Getting better,
but I can't move any quicker.
53
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,320
PARP-PARP!
54
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:36,780
You see!
It's going too fast again!
55
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,940
IVY:
Don't tell me! I know!
56
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:57,960
Her hair's getting thin.
I thought so too, when I saw her in the paper shop.
57
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:03,980
She has it all puffed up.
I thought, "You're getting thin!"
58
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:09,200
See her from behind, she looks like
a badly-washed glove puppet.
59
00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:13,900
And HE left his wife for her.
60
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:17,920
Ooh, he's bent nearly double
with his back.
61
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:22,440
Every time I see him
his face gets nearer the floor.
62
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:26,600
He can hardly shout "House"
at bingo.
63
00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:35,500
You still see 'em both arm-in-arm
but I expect if she didn't he'd fall flat on his Woodbine.
64
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:43,260
They were such a glamorous couple
you wanted her HUSBAND to see them.
65
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:50,260
But she doesn't look like
The Other Woman any more. She looks like any other woman.
66
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,940
With thinning hair.
67
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:58,960
You'd never know what
she'd been if she didn't wear them lovely shoes.
68
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:03,700
Foreign.
Italian. Is there any sense in it?
69
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:11,240
Well, if her hair's thinning
and he's bent double, she might just as well spend on her feet.
70
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,440
^
Has he got a stiff neck?
71
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,860
He's going the right way
to get one!
72
00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:21,800
I wasn't listening.
73
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:27,940
I was tightening this leg.
I was TOLD to tighten this leg.
74
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:32,960
Yes, but I didn't intend you
to devote your life to it!
75
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,920
It's a wobbly leg.
76
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,420
They're not easy - wobbly legs.
77
00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:41,120
There's a couple here aren't easy.
78
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:43,880
LOOK at them!
79
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:49,640
Ugh!
Like a couple of Chinese lanterns!
80
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,140
Listen to Hardy Amies here(!)
81
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,740
Don't you talk about me legs!
82
00:08:54,740 --> 00:08:58,480
Good morning!
Keep them under control.
83
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,380
Oh...Nora...! Nora...!
84
00:09:01,380 --> 00:09:06,420
Run away with me and we'll get
thee legs mended! Get him off!
85
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:08,940
Come on! Out!
86
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,460
Sit down and STAY down!!
87
00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:20,360
What splendid faces those two have
for displaying frowns.
88
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:28,960
Yorkshire female mysticism.
"Scowl Your Way Through to the Truth at the Heart of Things."
89
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:34,560
How do, Crush? Hello, Mr Simmonite.
I'm mending a wobbly leg.
90
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:38,300
You're too young for a wobbly leg!
91
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:45,200
Don't confuse him!
The last thing he needs is a direct line to some other idiot!
92
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,780
Now then. What do you want?
SNIFFS
93
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:56,140
Hey up! She's writing it down!
Just like a PROPER waitress!
94
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:59,280
I wish I had proper CUSTOMERS!!
95
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,940
A cup of your delicious tea, Ivy.
96
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:04,100
One tea. Creeper!
97
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:06,640
And make that two creepers.
98
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:14,920
A sticky bun and a cuppa tea
and ask that delicious creature if she'd like to join us...
99
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,720
He doesn't really mean that!
100
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,840
I'm sorry to hear
about the driving lessons, Wesley.
101
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:38,280
Wesley...I know that these are just
empty words at the moment but...
102
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,860
Time is a Great Healer.
103
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:48,680
You just have to believe that
there is a better world waiting when Edie passes her driving test.
104
00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:01,360
Oh, Barry, I daren't look.
Is me mam alright?
105
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:05,100
"Mirror, signal, manoeuvre."
106
00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:10,240
She seems to be praying.
107
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:15,420
I'm NOT praying.
I'm learning the Highway Code.
108
00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:19,500
Where's my dad?
Gone for a cup of tea.
109
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:25,020
No sooner do we get started
than he's itching for a cup of tea.
110
00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:30,060
POSH:
'Morning, Mrs Humphries! Quite a nice day!
111
00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:35,080
I hope she didn't hear you shouting
about me praying in the street.
112
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:38,140
You looked like you were.
QUIET!
113
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:45,160
I've always been
a good Christian, but you'll never catch me praying in the street.
114
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:49,600
It's very Low Church
is praying in the street.
115
00:11:54,920 --> 00:12:00,240
It's classroom shock. Very common.
Teaching's not for everyone.
116
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:04,820
How many times
has she failed her test? Six or seven.
117
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:07,340
I passed first time.
118
00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:11,860
You and a fat examiner
in a car like a sardine tin.
119
00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:15,140
He didn't want
that experience again!
120
00:12:15,140 --> 00:12:18,900
It's a great little car!
It's French!
121
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:24,580
You'd get no decent woman in
if it's French! It's passed its MOT.
122
00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:27,200
It's past its best, an' all!
123
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:31,240
Wesley!
124
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:36,340
I can't get through.
He must be engaged.
125
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,960
WES-LEY!!
126
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,020
You shouldn't wake 'em suddenly!
127
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:46,120
That's sleep-walking!
128
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,680
It looks very similar to me.
129
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,700
I doubt anyone sleeps
when Edie's driving!
130
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:57,780
I had a bird once, she used
to sleep-walk...around pubs.
131
00:12:57,780 --> 00:13:03,020
You live life to the full,
don't you? I do, Norm! I do, I do!
132
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:09,660
This is the appalling state
the amateur gets in when he tries his hand at teaching.
133
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:16,180
No, no, no!
What you've got here is a plain case of marriage fatigue.
134
00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:18,700
It's nearly as bad as cramp.
135
00:13:19,420 --> 00:13:27,800
Teachers are BORN not made.
Still you get muffins thinking they can teach. Here's the result.
136
00:13:28,820 --> 00:13:31,840
He's still got his natural colour.
137
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,240
What colour is 'terrified'?
138
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:43,520
Dad? Why don't you let somebody
else teach her? About time!
139
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,560
Let Barry take her for a while.
140
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,580
They're making ALL the wrong moves.
141
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,240
They'll realise eventually.
142
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:03,060
She needs an EXPERIENCED teacher.
143
00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:06,100
He's BUSTING to put his oar in!
144
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:10,640
Look at him!
He can't wait to start interfering!
145
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:15,740
No! A professional desire
to see the job done properly.
146
00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:21,080
It sounds like interfering.
A job description of interfering.
147
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:28,060
That's what they said to NOAH
when he told his neighbours to start boat-building.
148
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:30,620
"Stop interfering," they said.
149
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:33,700
He must have had a struggle later -
150
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:36,980
trying to hide his smug expression.
151
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:52,780
She needs a firmer hand.
Did you see his EYES?
152
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:58,320
Barry isn't firm enough with her.
Ooh, he'll play hell with Glenda!
153
00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:05,340
His eyes were OPEN!
You've got to admire him for that under the circumstances.
154
00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:10,820
It offends my professional skills
to see my sister with AMATEURS.
155
00:15:10,820 --> 00:15:13,920
They don't like it much either!
156
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:17,940
I thought they would have
asked me by now.
157
00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:22,940
Do I have to make the first move?
At the risk of interfering?
158
00:15:22,940 --> 00:15:28,480
Relax, Seymour. Nobody'll ask thee.
Tha's not got a driving licence!
159
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,880
Don't worry about bits of paper!
160
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:38,520
I've a cousin in Barnsley
with a grandson who's got TEN O-levels.
161
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,200
How's that for bits of paper?
162
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:46,760
All he wants to do is wear a ring
in his nose and dye his hair pink.
163
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,660
What's he want to be - a parrot?
164
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:56,640
Mind you, they did christen him
Wayne. They set him off to the worst possible start.
165
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,640
When people were called Herbert,
166
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:05,560
it helped enormously to keep them
steady in a ridiculous world.
167
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:12,820
Or Fred. There's another good one.
It takes some going noddy with a name like that.
168
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:18,820
Seymour... Oh, ho ho!
Now tha's really in trouble!
169
00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:32,480
You think I'm bereft
of all my teaching skills because I haven't a driving licence?
170
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,640
A learner has to be with
a QUALIFIED driver.
171
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:40,660
We'll GET a qualified driver
to come with us!
172
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:43,220
What do you mean "we"?!
173
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:49,220
Not to worry, Norm! Who's going to
volunteer to be a qualified driver?
174
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:55,740
Stop getting under me feet!
Find something to do!
175
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:18,540
It wasn't anything personal.
I've never heard a motor-car whimper before.
176
00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:24,480
I just thought fresh blood...
No, forget I ever said that.
177
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:29,480
I've heard a gear-box scream
but I've never heard one whimper.
178
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,520
Would you like
a chocolate eclair?
179
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,740
Unless it was ME...
180
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:40,640
Anyway, is me mam
getting any better?
181
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,840
So you're not
going again, Barry?
182
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:50,920
I'm not going again!
Why did you send ME?!
183
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:55,260
It's not easy being torn
between me dad and you.
184
00:17:55,260 --> 00:18:01,280
It's not easy tearing between
two lorries on Stackpool Street! She didn't!
185
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:05,180
I had to close me eyes
after that!
186
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:10,140
I always think how attractive
you look with your eyes closed.
187
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,900
You know...
I'd do anything for you...
188
00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:21,620
except teach your mother to drive!
Honest, Brenda!
189
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:24,740
The name's GLENDA, Barry.
190
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,560
It's ALWAYS been Glenda.
191
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:36,540
You're a STRANGER, Barry.
You won't eat your eclair and you're calling me Brenda!
192
00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:48,540
And there you are with thousands
of miles of road experience.
193
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:54,040
On a motorbike. But you have
a full driving licence. Oh, aye.
194
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:58,240
That's great, Wally!
But I can't drive THIS.
195
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:04,740
But that's the beauty of it! YOU
don't have to! Edith will drive.
196
00:19:04,740 --> 00:19:10,300
Listen to what Seymour says, Wally.
He's VERY highly-qualified.
197
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:15,520
All you have to do...
is sit in the front passenger seat.
198
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:19,540
Edith will drive,
but I'LL be in charge.
199
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:22,360
Oh, THERE'S a surprise(!)
200
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,680
Wesley's just neutral in all this.
201
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,260
It's no skin off MY nose.
202
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:34,280
Just sit in the passenger seat?
Yes!
203
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,080
Oh well, I can do that!
204
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,580
Great, Wally! Smashing!
205
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:45,860
Bit excitable. No skin off HIS nose.
206
00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:50,900
Is he part Italian?
With a name like Wesley Pegden?!
207
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:57,060
Maybe it's a disguise.
Try calling Luigi. He might answer to that.
208
00:19:57,060 --> 00:20:02,760
Can someone give me a hand?
Looks as if he's already got one!
209
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,820
Come on... Stop being a Luigi!
210
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:10,780
I've suddenly realised how much
I owe my brother-in-law. True!
211
00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:15,780
Tremendous grip,
your labouring classes.
212
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:20,860
There've been times when I thought
he was a pillock! They'll come back.
213
00:20:20,860 --> 00:20:24,820
Off the top of my head,
I'd say quite soon!
214
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:35,860
How long are you staying out there?
Are you sulking?!
215
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,700
If you are, two can play that game!
216
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:48,360
Your mother always said you sulked.
She said I'd never get shirt sleeves to fit you and you sulked.
217
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:56,500
Have you any idea how undignified
it looks - sulking at your age?
218
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,700
Especially in baggy shirt sleeves.
219
00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:02,300
Well, see if I care!
220
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:38,500
Are you watching, Wesley Pegden?
Our Seymour's nice manners.
221
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,180
I'm watching! I'm watching!
222
00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:45,620
What a pleasure it is
not to be involved!
223
00:21:45,620 --> 00:21:48,440
There's plenty of room in the back.
224
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:54,260
Tha'll have enough on tha plate,
Seymour. Just got the wall warm.
225
00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:57,880
Please yourselves! ..Wesley?
226
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,040
What?
227
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:03,240
Have you left it
so it doesn't go so fast?
228
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,700
That's up to YOU!
229
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:08,360
You must think I'm STUPID!
230
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:14,260
He tells me that every time. Relax,
Edith, I shall see you through!
231
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:22,620
Wally looks cheerful.
Poor demented soul.
232
00:22:22,620 --> 00:22:26,720
He likes a break
from his domestic routine.
233
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:31,100
Right, start the engine.
Start the engine.
234
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:35,140
ENGINE STARTS
Clutch down. Clutch down.
235
00:22:35,140 --> 00:22:39,500
Into first gear. Into first gear...
CRUNCH!
236
00:22:44,980 --> 00:22:48,080
Check in mirror. Check in mirror.
237
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:54,600
Handbrake off, clutch out
and gently accelerate. Handbrake off, clutch out,
238
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,420
and gently accelerate...
REVS LOUDLY
239
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,060
Sometimes she does that.
240
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,980
Sometimes she does THAT.
241
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:27,280
Oh... I bet the driving examiners
draw lots.
242
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:31,360
The last one left her
in the High Street.
243
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:36,400
She waited 40 minutes. She thought
he'd just gone shopping.
244
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:44,400
You'll enjoy it once she's passed,
when driving becomes just one more experience you can share together.
245
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,060
Who's your friend?!
246
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:54,600
So you take the car
and go to the wholesalers.
247
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,020
I've been there before!
248
00:23:57,020 --> 00:24:00,720
Correct.
Then you ask for Mr Dobson.
249
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,480
I've never done that before.
250
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,500
You'll soon get the hang of it(!)
251
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:11,620
I know what's going to happen.
They'll say "Mr Dobson's not here.
252
00:24:11,620 --> 00:24:16,960
"You'll have to see Mr Thingummy."
And it just gets worse from there.
253
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,900
People are NEVER where
they should be.
254
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,260
He's not here then?
255
00:24:24,260 --> 00:24:28,320
Your Wally?
No, he's not here, love.
256
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:32,320
He's not anywhere then.
He'll not be far.
257
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,420
He's further than he SHOULD be!
258
00:24:35,420 --> 00:24:40,040
Who'll feed his pigeons?
Oh, he'll back for then.
259
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,440
I could feed them.
260
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:46,280
You'll be waiting for
Mr DOBSON!!
261
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:51,580
Is that the Dobsons
from Archbold Street? Yes, the youngest.
262
00:24:51,580 --> 00:24:56,120
I'm not even sure
if he's got his thick woolly on.
263
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,460
Mr Dobson?
264
00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,780
No-o!! That one o' mine!
265
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:08,700
I don't like him going far
without his thick woolly on.
266
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:19,760
You've come back then?
Don't think anybody missed you.
267
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:23,780
There's worse places
than home, lass.
268
00:26:23,780 --> 00:26:27,600
Have you got your woollies on?
269
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,180
I've got my woollies on.
270
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,360
No! No!
271
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:38,920
You're the only other qualified
driver. It's a lie! A wicked lie!
272
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:44,380
He doesn't look much of a driver.
She knows, instinctively.
273
00:26:44,380 --> 00:26:47,600
You don't have to drive! So what?
274
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,400
Tell him, Norm. Get IN or OUT!
275
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,340
It looks like a kidnapping.
276
00:26:53,340 --> 00:26:57,340
Single people
seem to get all the fun.
277
00:27:02,820 --> 00:27:06,360
I can't drive with a bag of nerves!
278
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:11,360
You're a good woman, Edie Pegden.
I don't care what anybody says.
279
00:27:12,700 --> 00:27:15,620
Alright, you win.
280
00:27:15,620 --> 00:27:17,700
You drive.
281
00:27:17,700 --> 00:27:24,700
What? She can't go home
without a qualified driver. So YOU'LL have to drive.
282
00:27:24,700 --> 00:27:26,780
Oh, no...!
283
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,280
ENGINE REVS NOISILY
284
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,280
I'll walk home.
285
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,280
Me too.
286
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,400
I'll make the tea.
287
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:27,280
Congratulations! For what?
288
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:33,280
You're the only person who's ever
made my sister's driving look good.
289
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,680
Well, I suppose it's just a gift.
290
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:44,480
Why did you go to pieces when you
got behind the wheel? I once had a bad experience behind a wheel.
291
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:49,540
Me too. Nora Batty
backed into me with her bike.
292
00:28:49,540 --> 00:28:54,040
Caught me right in the middle
of the railings.
293
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:59,460
Be quiet!
I was until I got me breath back.
294
00:28:59,460 --> 00:29:01,660
Deathly quiet.
295
00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:08,100
What was this bad experience?
It's called driving. You should practise.
296
00:29:08,100 --> 00:29:12,160
Oh, I do.
I practise never going near a car.
297
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:20,980
Shall I show you where Nora Batty
caught me in the railings?
298
00:29:22,020 --> 00:29:24,580
Don't you DARE!!
299
00:29:54,620 --> 00:29:58,180
Subtitles by Gillian Spence
BBC Scotland - 1987
300
00:29:58,230 --> 00:30:02,780
Repair and Synchronization by
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