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1
00:00:02,883 --> 00:00:04,318
NADJA: Nandor!
2
00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:05,622
Nandor! (Groans)
3
00:00:05,655 --> 00:00:07,559
Where the fuck is Nandor?
4
00:00:09,462 --> 00:00:11,399
Nandor has taken to
5
00:00:11,432 --> 00:00:13,671
slipping away from the
house at odd times recently.
6
00:00:13,704 --> 00:00:15,340
Which is very annoying for me,
7
00:00:15,374 --> 00:00:16,810
'cause, unfortunately,
8
00:00:16,844 --> 00:00:19,482
I need his help with an
extremely crucial task:
9
00:00:19,516 --> 00:00:21,787
Updating the Vampiric
Council's website.
10
00:00:21,820 --> 00:00:23,691
I don't even know
what a website is.
11
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,336
I thought it was something
to do with spiders.
12
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,231
Not tonight, huh, guys?
13
00:00:27,264 --> 00:00:29,244
LASZLO: Nandor's behavior
has been very odd of late.
14
00:00:29,268 --> 00:00:31,139
Privacy, please!
15
00:00:31,172 --> 00:00:33,276
PRODUCER: Nandor. Nandor...
16
00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:34,510
But I think I know why.
17
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:36,449
He's been disappearing
18
00:00:36,482 --> 00:00:38,453
to the penny pornos.
19
00:00:38,486 --> 00:00:40,658
Penny porno is a room in town
20
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:42,696
where men pay a cent to
sit next to each other
21
00:00:42,729 --> 00:00:45,133
and whack off. Why
would he lie about that?
22
00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:47,338
I wouldn't care; I'd tell
everyone that's where I go.
23
00:00:47,371 --> 00:00:49,509
In fact, I've just
come back from there.
24
00:00:49,543 --> 00:00:52,248
GUILLERMO: I honestly have no
idea where he's been going.
25
00:00:52,281 --> 00:00:54,385
Knock, knock. Coming in.
26
00:00:54,418 --> 00:00:56,165
I should know where's he at at
all times. I'm his bodyguard.
27
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,460
Rise and shine,
28
00:00:58,494 --> 00:00:59,830
sleepy(shrieks)
29
00:00:59,863 --> 00:01:03,671
And that is not Nandor.
30
00:01:03,704 --> 00:01:05,407
I honestly have no
idea where he's going.
31
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,512
COLIN: So we've
decided to follow him.
32
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:08,814
Me, personally,
33
00:01:08,848 --> 00:01:10,260
I couldn't give a
shit where he goes.
34
00:01:10,284 --> 00:01:12,154
But I don't want
the others to think
35
00:01:12,187 --> 00:01:15,695
that I'm not down to clown
at the drop of a hat.
36
00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:19,211
- (Nandor groaning)
- GUILLERMO: Do you hear that?
37
00:01:19,235 --> 00:01:20,505
That's definitely him.
38
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:22,107
NADJA: Why would
he come to a hotel?
39
00:01:22,141 --> 00:01:23,243
- (Nandor grunting) -Whoa.
- (shrieks)
40
00:01:23,276 --> 00:01:24,713
Sounds like he's in distress.
41
00:01:24,746 --> 00:01:26,282
You'd better break
the door down.
42
00:01:26,316 --> 00:01:28,129
- (grunting, yelling)
- No, because it sounds...
43
00:01:28,153 --> 00:01:29,121
- It could be something else.
- Bodyguard, break the door down.
44
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,424
Okay. Everyone stand back.
45
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,827
(Guillermo grunts)
46
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:33,664
(Nandor and woman grunting)
47
00:01:33,698 --> 00:01:35,233
Oh, hi, guys!
48
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,104
Remember Gail? I am
inside her right now.
49
00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:39,275
Hi, Gail. Nice to see you again.
50
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,712
- COLIN: Hey, Gail.
- Hey, guys!
51
00:01:40,745 --> 00:01:42,190
- GUILLERMO: Okay. Everyone out.
- GAIL: Uh, yeah.
52
00:01:42,214 --> 00:01:43,493
- (Nandor grunting)
- (Gail gasps)
53
00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:45,622
("You're Dead" by
Norma Tanega playing)
54
00:01:45,655 --> 00:01:48,226
♪ Don't sing if you
want to live long ♪
55
00:01:48,259 --> 00:01:50,632
♪ They have no use
for your song ♪
56
00:01:50,665 --> 00:01:53,370
♪ You're dead, you're
dead, you're dead ♪
57
00:01:53,403 --> 00:01:56,309
♪ You're dead and
out of this world ♪
58
00:01:57,746 --> 00:02:00,785
♪ Now your hope and
compassion is gone ♪
59
00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:03,591
♪ You sold out your
dream to the world ♪
60
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,828
♪ Stay dead, stay
dead, stay dead ♪
61
00:02:05,862 --> 00:02:08,567
♪ You're dead and
out of this world. ♪
62
00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:10,370
♪ ♪
63
00:02:17,952 --> 00:02:21,225
♪ Gail is coming tonight. ♪
64
00:02:21,259 --> 00:02:22,394
The cat's out the bag!
65
00:02:22,428 --> 00:02:24,499
Your boy's in love.
66
00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:27,471
Gail is coming over tonight and
everything has to be perfect.
67
00:02:27,505 --> 00:02:29,241
♪ ♪
68
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:30,310
I have not always been
69
00:02:30,344 --> 00:02:31,647
so lucky in love.
70
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,753
Of course, there
were my 37 wives,
71
00:02:34,786 --> 00:02:36,322
but they mostly hated me.
72
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,326
Anyway, I had a dry spell
73
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,430
for about 200 years.
74
00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:42,736
And then I met Gail.
75
00:02:42,769 --> 00:02:45,207
We have been what you
might call off and on
76
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,612
over the past 30, 40 years.
77
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,916
But I simply cannot keep away.
78
00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:52,488
Her hair smells of
tropical fruits,
79
00:02:52,522 --> 00:02:54,626
her scalp of medication.
80
00:02:54,659 --> 00:02:56,897
She lounges in T-shirts
81
00:02:56,930 --> 00:02:59,803
bearing the image of
musical poet Robert Seger.
82
00:02:59,836 --> 00:03:02,474
And her favorite brand of yogurt
83
00:03:02,509 --> 00:03:05,213
is strawberry vanilla crunch.
84
00:03:05,247 --> 00:03:06,784
(grunts)
85
00:03:06,817 --> 00:03:09,255
Guillermo! Have you still
got that mini fridge?
86
00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:10,692
Yes, you do!
87
00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:11,927
- Great.
- That's my fridge.
88
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,430
What's... What do
you need that for?
89
00:03:13,463 --> 00:03:14,842
- What's all this shit?
- That's medicine.
90
00:03:14,866 --> 00:03:16,870
I need to keep that
refrigerated... It's fine.
91
00:03:16,904 --> 00:03:18,984
The doctor said there might
be side effects if I don't.
92
00:03:19,008 --> 00:03:21,580
- Don't be such a snowflake.
- Why do you need my fridge?
93
00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:22,849
- Nice.
- What is going on?
94
00:03:22,882 --> 00:03:25,220
That's a lot of yogurt.
95
00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:28,494
- You don't eat yogurt.
- It's for Gail.
96
00:03:28,527 --> 00:03:30,397
Gail.
97
00:03:30,430 --> 00:03:31,876
Of course I'm happy for my
master. Why wouldn't I be?
98
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:33,771
But, as his bodyguard,
it is my job
99
00:03:33,804 --> 00:03:36,543
to personally vet anyone
that he spends time with.
100
00:03:36,577 --> 00:03:38,581
And that's exactly what I'll do.
101
00:03:38,614 --> 00:03:40,794
Nandor, we really need to make
a decision on these fonts.
102
00:03:40,818 --> 00:03:42,454
I like Helvetica,
103
00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:44,234
'cause it's the name of
one of the prostitutes
104
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:45,871
for the donkeys in my village
and they were friendly.
105
00:03:45,895 --> 00:03:48,299
- What do you think?
- About what?
106
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:49,612
The fonts for the
Vampiric Council website.
107
00:03:49,636 --> 00:03:50,914
I mean, we could
do Franklin Gothic,
108
00:03:50,938 --> 00:03:52,374
but it's a bit on the nose.
109
00:03:52,408 --> 00:03:53,410
Not now, Nadja, please.
110
00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:54,913
Gail is coming over tonight.
111
00:03:54,946 --> 00:03:56,617
NADJA: Yes, we are familiar
112
00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,954
- with Gail.
- Now you're taking a risk there,
113
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,392
'cause my wife hates Gail
more than anyone in the world.
114
00:04:01,426 --> 00:04:03,396
I have no issue with Gail.
115
00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:04,866
What I have a problem with
116
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,445
is every time her and
Nandor get back together,
117
00:04:06,469 --> 00:04:08,273
she gets his hopes up
118
00:04:08,306 --> 00:04:09,585
that he can turn
her into a vampire
119
00:04:09,609 --> 00:04:10,954
and they can be
together for eternity.
120
00:04:10,978 --> 00:04:12,381
And then she always says "no"
121
00:04:12,414 --> 00:04:13,760
and then he always
gets heartbroken.
122
00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:15,788
It's the same thing
over and over again
123
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,458
for the past 40 years.
124
00:04:17,492 --> 00:04:19,996
It really breaks my heart
to see him like this.
125
00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:22,569
All right, all
right, my darling.
126
00:04:22,602 --> 00:04:24,047
I mean, we all know
you hate the woman.
127
00:04:24,071 --> 00:04:26,008
That much is clear.
128
00:04:26,042 --> 00:04:28,480
I like her!
129
00:04:28,514 --> 00:04:30,250
Ah, I may as well tell you.
130
00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:35,026
Oh... for fuck's sake.
131
00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:36,497
Is that what I think it is?
132
00:04:36,530 --> 00:04:38,501
No, it's not, you
little pervert.
133
00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:40,838
It's an engagement ring.
134
00:04:40,872 --> 00:04:43,443
I'm going to give it
to Gail this evening,
135
00:04:43,476 --> 00:04:45,915
then I'm going to turn
her into a vampire,
136
00:04:45,948 --> 00:04:47,919
then we are going to be
together for eternity.
137
00:04:47,952 --> 00:04:49,488
NADJA: Mm-hmm.
138
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,001
LASZLO: He's been
down there for hours,
139
00:04:51,025 --> 00:04:52,962
desperately trying to
find out what he can
140
00:04:52,996 --> 00:04:54,966
about the origin
of energy vampires.
141
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,570
Between you and I, though,
142
00:04:56,603 --> 00:04:58,315
I wouldn't normally spend
this much time with him,
143
00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,786
but I figured the quicker
he gets on with it,
144
00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:01,312
the quicker he'll
shut his mouth.
145
00:05:01,345 --> 00:05:03,884
I mean, there's tons
of stuff down here
146
00:05:03,918 --> 00:05:05,788
about regular vampires,
147
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:07,725
but almost nothing
about energy vampires.
148
00:05:07,759 --> 00:05:09,361
Ha-Have you found anything?
149
00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:10,898
Bat!
150
00:05:10,932 --> 00:05:12,132
(squeaking)
151
00:05:13,436 --> 00:05:15,608
So what am I looking
for, exactly?
152
00:05:15,641 --> 00:05:17,344
I'm not sure.
153
00:05:17,377 --> 00:05:19,057
- Could take years, though.
- What the hell is that?
154
00:05:19,081 --> 00:05:20,618
COLIN: What... What?
155
00:05:20,651 --> 00:05:22,822
- LASZLO: That book.
- Just another book. I...
156
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:23,991
No, no, no, no.
157
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:25,327
This particular book.
158
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,497
(chair scrapes)
159
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:29,401
Cornelius Dong's Adventures
160
00:05:29,435 --> 00:05:31,105
- in the Boner Brigade.
- Exactly.
161
00:05:31,138 --> 00:05:33,644
That never came out in hardback.
162
00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:35,480
Which means it's a fake.
163
00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:38,119
(latch clacks hollowly)
164
00:05:38,152 --> 00:05:40,625
- (gears grinding)
- COLIN: What the fuck?
165
00:05:41,627 --> 00:05:42,829
LASZLO: Shit.
166
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,603
My jalopy!
167
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,106
- Your... your what?
- Here she is.
168
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,485
I-I didn't even know
you could drive.
169
00:05:49,509 --> 00:05:50,845
Well, I can.
170
00:05:50,878 --> 00:05:52,882
I-I'm an excellent
driver. Rain Man.
171
00:05:52,916 --> 00:05:54,385
- (chuckles)
- You are?
172
00:05:54,418 --> 00:05:55,888
Well, that's handy,
'cause I'm not.
173
00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,393
And I'm banned, which is
why it's been impounded.
174
00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:01,833
The Vampiric Council
confiscated my beloved jalopy
175
00:06:01,867 --> 00:06:05,140
to punish me for transporting
miners across state lines.
176
00:06:05,173 --> 00:06:08,581
I always wondered
where they hid it away
177
00:06:08,614 --> 00:06:11,385
and it's been right under
my nose the entire time.
178
00:06:11,419 --> 00:06:13,156
What else do you want to know?
179
00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:15,661
One Yoplait here and
then two up there.
180
00:06:15,695 --> 00:06:16,964
How did you get this ring?
181
00:06:16,997 --> 00:06:19,034
I killed some virgins
the other night,
182
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,705
and one was wearing
a promise ring.
183
00:06:20,738 --> 00:06:22,709
I guess that's one promise
he's going to keep.
184
00:06:22,742 --> 00:06:24,011
- (chuckling)
- NADJA: Ugh.
185
00:06:24,044 --> 00:06:25,514
You desecrated a corpse.
186
00:06:25,548 --> 00:06:26,583
Oh, who even knows what counts
187
00:06:26,617 --> 00:06:27,719
with young people these days?
188
00:06:27,752 --> 00:06:29,956
- (doorbell rings)
- She's here!
189
00:06:31,493 --> 00:06:32,896
(Nadja groans)
190
00:06:34,064 --> 00:06:36,402
- (exhales)
- Yeah, you're right. (Laughs)
191
00:06:36,435 --> 00:06:38,707
You're not gonna get
him to focus on anything
192
00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:41,780
for the Council, not
while Gail's around.
193
00:06:41,813 --> 00:06:43,149
And I totally agree.
194
00:06:43,182 --> 00:06:45,086
Agree with what? I
didn't say anything.
195
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,692
Oh, come on. We all know
that you kind of think
196
00:06:47,725 --> 00:06:49,930
that Gail is a little
bit of a big-time bitch.
197
00:06:49,963 --> 00:06:51,465
I don't dislike Gail!
198
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,038
Why does everyone
think I dislike Ga...
199
00:06:54,071 --> 00:06:55,975
It's because we're
women. That is so...
200
00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:57,220
Put your differences aside
and just talk to her,
201
00:06:57,244 --> 00:06:58,514
- woman to woman.
- About what?
202
00:06:58,547 --> 00:06:59,516
Look, I just don't want
203
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,551
to see Nandor get hurt.
204
00:07:00,584 --> 00:07:02,187
What am I sitting on?
205
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,468
GUILLERMO: Oh. I'll take
care of that, don't worry.
206
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:05,692
Shame it wasn't his face.
207
00:07:11,072 --> 00:07:12,140
Ah. Is this good? Here? Whoa.
208
00:07:12,174 --> 00:07:14,111
A fireplace. (Laughs)
209
00:07:14,144 --> 00:07:15,615
Romantic.
210
00:07:15,648 --> 00:07:17,093
("Night Moves" by
Bob Seger playing)
211
00:07:17,117 --> 00:07:20,123
(Nandor vocalizing)
212
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:22,528
GAIL: Nandor's an
acquired taste, I'd say.
213
00:07:22,562 --> 00:07:24,198
Like sardines, maybe.
214
00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:26,178
Like, you're not sure that
you're gonna like 'em,
215
00:07:26,202 --> 00:07:27,872
and then you try 'em
216
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:30,043
and then you eat, like,
five, six cans a day
217
00:07:30,076 --> 00:07:32,147
for a month straight
and then suddenly
218
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:35,855
you're like, "Welp, I think
I'm sick of sardines now."
219
00:07:35,888 --> 00:07:38,694
But then, a few years
go by, and you're like,
220
00:07:38,727 --> 00:07:40,931
"How come I never eat
sardines anymore?"
221
00:07:40,965 --> 00:07:44,038
- ♪ Trying to make some ♪
- (Nandor vocalizing)
222
00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:45,106
- ♪ Front page drive-in news... ♪
- (Nadja coughs) Oopsie.
223
00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:46,576
(laughs) Sorry, I was
224
00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:47,979
just, uh... Didn't
mean to, um...
225
00:07:48,012 --> 00:07:49,783
NANDOR: Oh, come in, come in.
226
00:07:49,816 --> 00:07:52,655
We were just dancing in
between rounds of cunnilingus.
227
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:54,234
- Hello, Gail.
- (Nandor sighs happily)
228
00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:55,661
How have you been?
229
00:07:55,695 --> 00:07:57,699
Oh, you know. Fine.
230
00:07:57,732 --> 00:08:00,070
My daughter, up in Rochester
231
00:08:00,103 --> 00:08:02,240
- you know, the one in marketing?
- So talented.
232
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,944
GAIL: Oh, God.
233
00:08:03,977 --> 00:08:06,048
Well, her ex is just
taking her to the cleaners.
234
00:08:06,082 --> 00:08:08,887
And then this, on top of the
rain that we've been having,
235
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,058
- it's like, "Ah!" You know?
- NADJA: Ah.
236
00:08:11,092 --> 00:08:12,829
Too much water.
237
00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:14,174
- GAIL: Too much.
- You need a yogurt.
238
00:08:14,198 --> 00:08:17,572
- I got your favorite.
- GAIL: Oh, boy.
239
00:08:17,605 --> 00:08:19,943
A yogurt!(Nandor vocalizing)
240
00:08:22,147 --> 00:08:24,586
- LASZLO: You like that?
- COLIN: I do like that.
241
00:08:24,619 --> 00:08:26,623
Nice, hey? Feel her
curves. She's a beaut.
242
00:08:26,656 --> 00:08:28,560
Ah, yeah. What's it run on?
243
00:08:28,594 --> 00:08:30,531
Petrol and coal.
244
00:08:30,564 --> 00:08:32,234
- Hybrid.
- You might say.
245
00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:33,937
It's called a Stutz Laszlo.
246
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,142
They only made four. They
gave one to Henry Ford
247
00:08:36,175 --> 00:08:39,114
and then he gave his one
to his hero, Mussolini.
248
00:08:39,148 --> 00:08:41,586
That... seems about right.
249
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:42,889
Right.(engine sputters)
250
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,859
(revs) Whoa-ho!
251
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,128
- Did you hear that?
- Yeah.
252
00:08:46,162 --> 00:08:47,732
Come on, man, let's
go for a ride.
253
00:08:47,765 --> 00:08:48,901
We can go wherever you want.
254
00:08:48,934 --> 00:08:51,005
Montenegro, Cote d'Azur.
255
00:08:51,038 --> 00:08:52,675
- You name it.
- Buffalo?
256
00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:53,677
Let's do it.
257
00:08:53,711 --> 00:08:55,046
Yeah, all right.
258
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,659
- Yes! Now we're talking.
- Sounds kind of fun.
259
00:08:56,683 --> 00:08:58,620
- A little adventure.
- Yeah.
260
00:08:58,654 --> 00:09:00,891
COLIN: Energy vampires
love a good road trip.
261
00:09:00,925 --> 00:09:04,164
I, myself, always have
my mix ready to go.
262
00:09:04,198 --> 00:09:05,768
25 "Hey There Delilahs."
263
00:09:05,801 --> 00:09:08,139
Oh, and I have my trail mix.
264
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,843
Not to eat, of course,
265
00:09:09,876 --> 00:09:12,749
but to shove into the
crevices of the seats.
266
00:09:12,782 --> 00:09:16,055
Shit. I'm gonna need you to
help me get it out of here.
267
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:18,059
Okay, just come
back, just a little.
268
00:09:18,092 --> 00:09:19,829
What's the problem?
269
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,067
Um, there's a block down
here. Let me get it.
270
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:24,606
- (screeching)
- (Colin screaming)
271
00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:25,908
(Colin coughs)
272
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,645
What the hell?
273
00:09:27,678 --> 00:09:29,582
- Did I get you?
- Did you get... Yeah.
274
00:09:29,616 --> 00:09:32,154
I have no reflection
in the rearview mirror.
275
00:09:32,187 --> 00:09:34,291
You don't, but I do. I reflect.
276
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,761
Okay.
277
00:09:35,795 --> 00:09:37,364
Don't think the
room is big enough.
278
00:09:37,397 --> 00:09:39,602
- I don't think we can get it out.
- I think they
279
00:09:39,636 --> 00:09:41,940
built this around the car.
280
00:09:41,973 --> 00:09:43,242
It was built around it?
281
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:44,879
Around the car!
282
00:09:44,913 --> 00:09:47,083
- I-I have a crazy idea.
- What?
283
00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:48,219
Are you in?(engine banging)
284
00:09:48,252 --> 00:09:49,789
- Right.
- What?
285
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,325
No! (Grunts)
286
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,329
Shit. Sorry, man. Did I get you?
287
00:09:53,362 --> 00:09:54,632
- (choking): Back up.
- Do what?
288
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:55,734
Back up.
289
00:09:55,768 --> 00:09:56,937
I don't know if it can do that.
290
00:09:56,970 --> 00:09:59,141
Reverse, you shithead.
291
00:09:59,174 --> 00:10:01,780
(quietly): I wanted
to ask Gail something,
292
00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:03,717
but I wanted to go
and get something
293
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:05,931
that I want to give her when
I ask her that something,
294
00:10:05,955 --> 00:10:08,068
so maybe if you just stay
here and keep her company,
295
00:10:08,092 --> 00:10:09,729
I can go and do that
296
00:10:09,762 --> 00:10:11,833
and maybe towel off my,
uh, face and genitals.
297
00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:13,937
Uh... Fine.
298
00:10:13,971 --> 00:10:15,641
- Yes? Thank you.
- (chuckles) Yes.
299
00:10:15,674 --> 00:10:17,253
I'll leave you guys to
it; I'll be back in a sec.
300
00:10:17,277 --> 00:10:19,782
Thank you. Oh, Guillermo!
301
00:10:19,816 --> 00:10:22,053
Have you seen my genital towel?
302
00:10:22,087 --> 00:10:23,857
- Guillermo.
- Ah!
303
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,102
We're just... we're just
watching Twilight, see?
304
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,797
- Where is the ring?
- What?
305
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:28,967
The ring in the box! For Gail.
306
00:10:29,001 --> 00:10:30,938
- Is this it?
- Give me that!
307
00:10:30,971 --> 00:10:32,875
And I am borrowing this towel.
308
00:10:32,909 --> 00:10:34,278
That's my favorite sweater.
309
00:10:35,246 --> 00:10:36,692
- LASZLO: It's simple.
- Mm? All right.
310
00:10:36,716 --> 00:10:38,052
We take the car apart here,
311
00:10:38,085 --> 00:10:40,356
move it outside, then
reassemble it there.
312
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,229
How long did you own this car
before it was taken from you?
313
00:10:43,262 --> 00:10:45,768
- About ten minutes.
- Oh. Then... All right.
314
00:10:45,801 --> 00:10:48,139
LASZLO: I haven't spent much
time with Colin Robinson
315
00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:50,043
in the past, for the
main, obvious reason
316
00:10:50,076 --> 00:10:52,047
that he's incredibly
fucking dull.
317
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,884
If you buy a German car,
318
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:55,888
you're basically
supporting the Nazi party.
319
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,257
LASZLO: I don't know. Maybe
320
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:58,894
I've gone soft in my old age,
321
00:10:58,927 --> 00:11:01,131
but I've noticed that
he looks a bit lonely.
322
00:11:01,165 --> 00:11:03,069
I thought I'd spend
some time with him.
323
00:11:03,102 --> 00:11:04,873
I mean, you could
call it my good deed.
324
00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:06,275
You're not
masturbating, are you?
325
00:11:06,308 --> 00:11:07,879
COLIN: You know,
I've never really
326
00:11:07,912 --> 00:11:11,018
spent much time
with Laszlo before.
327
00:11:11,051 --> 00:11:14,726
With Nadja being away so
much with her Council duties,
328
00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:18,065
I've decided to take
pity on the poor guy.
329
00:11:18,099 --> 00:11:20,905
I-I think he just
needs a friend.
330
00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:22,450
You've got to keep
notes as I'm talking,
331
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,177
otherwise it'll all go to shit.
332
00:11:24,211 --> 00:11:25,446
Well, I'm trying to keep up
333
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,993
with all these parts
you're making up.
334
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:28,352
- What is this?
- I don't know.
335
00:11:28,386 --> 00:11:30,390
A wiggabuhbiggle is
what you called it.
336
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,828
The man knows his cars.
337
00:11:34,231 --> 00:11:36,168
Yeah, actually, I used to think
338
00:11:36,202 --> 00:11:38,172
that my parents were
energy vampires,
339
00:11:38,206 --> 00:11:40,009
but I-I don't know anymore.
340
00:11:40,043 --> 00:11:42,380
My dad was really
dynamic and outgoing,
341
00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:44,886
kind of a RuPaul type,
342
00:11:44,919 --> 00:11:46,188
but in the '20s.
343
00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:47,858
And my mom, I...
344
00:11:47,892 --> 00:11:49,896
I don't really remember
my mom anymore.
345
00:11:49,929 --> 00:11:52,000
(clangs)
346
00:11:52,033 --> 00:11:53,971
Did you mum die
when you were young?
347
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,743
Nah, she was just
boring. Still is.
348
00:11:56,776 --> 00:11:58,747
Is this the bonus
pile or is that?
349
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,751
I'll be honest. At this point,
350
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:02,487
I don't think it really matters.
351
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,525
- I had a mother once.
- Oh?
352
00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:05,895
What-what was she like?
353
00:12:05,928 --> 00:12:08,132
No idea. I was
raised by my nanny,
354
00:12:08,165 --> 00:12:10,871
who used to make me
learn Latin in the nude.
355
00:12:10,905 --> 00:12:12,909
- Oh.
- I quite liked it.
356
00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:15,480
♪ ♪
357
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:22,060
(glass shatters)
358
00:12:22,093 --> 00:12:24,197
(cloth ripping)
359
00:12:32,047 --> 00:12:33,960
- Oh. Are you leaving?
- Yeah. It's getting late
360
00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:36,221
and I really want to
get back to my condo
361
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,825
for Grey's Anatomy.
362
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,929
I think Nandor is going
to ask you something
363
00:12:39,963 --> 00:12:44,071
stupid, pathetic, and, uh,
get rejected again, as usual.
364
00:12:44,104 --> 00:12:46,977
(laughs) Nandor knows
that Thursday nights
365
00:12:47,010 --> 00:12:48,947
are for the gals.
366
00:12:48,981 --> 00:12:51,218
Meaning me and Meredith Grey.
367
00:12:51,251 --> 00:12:53,222
But, uh, tonight
is, uh, Saturday.
368
00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:55,126
It's what?
369
00:12:55,159 --> 00:12:57,498
Tonight is not Thursday,
tonight is Saturday.
370
00:12:57,531 --> 00:12:59,836
Excuse me, sweetie,
you are on my slacks.
371
00:12:59,869 --> 00:13:01,506
Oh. I just think
Nandor will be down
372
00:13:01,539 --> 00:13:03,452
- in just a little, tiny, one little moment...
- I gotta go.
373
00:13:03,476 --> 00:13:05,848
Gail! Wait! Oh, I want to
talk to you about Nandor.
374
00:13:05,881 --> 00:13:07,852
We can have a girlie
to girlie conversation.
375
00:13:07,885 --> 00:13:10,023
- There's not a lot to talk about, really.
- Gail!
376
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:13,362
Wait. Wait! There is a bloody
plunket of a man upstairs
377
00:13:13,396 --> 00:13:15,510
who has feelings, and those
feelings are going to get hurt
378
00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:17,370
and then we will
never choose a font!
379
00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:19,117
- Gail!
- (distorted voice): Get away from me!
380
00:13:19,141 --> 00:13:20,310
- (growls)
- Gail?
381
00:13:20,343 --> 00:13:22,380
(howling)
382
00:13:22,414 --> 00:13:24,451
(growling, groaning)
383
00:13:24,484 --> 00:13:27,090
Fuckin' hell. Oh!
384
00:13:29,328 --> 00:13:30,864
So many nipples.
385
00:13:30,898 --> 00:13:32,233
(snarls)
386
00:13:33,202 --> 00:13:34,539
Shoo! Shoo!
387
00:13:34,572 --> 00:13:36,408
(roars)
388
00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:38,580
Oh, Nandor, what have you done?
389
00:13:40,584 --> 00:13:43,155
I'll be completely
honest with you,
390
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:45,995
I've never done an actual
car reassembly before.
391
00:13:46,028 --> 00:13:48,165
- Yeah, no shit, my beauty.
- (horn honks)
392
00:13:48,199 --> 00:13:49,936
What the fuck, you two?
393
00:13:49,969 --> 00:13:52,207
Do you know what kind
of damage you've done
394
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,144
to some of our most
priceless artifacts
395
00:13:54,177 --> 00:13:56,281
with this jackass
stunt of yours?
396
00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:58,052
A good evening to you, too.
397
00:13:58,085 --> 00:14:00,456
- We may have bumped into a few things.
- (scoffs)
398
00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,962
You shattered the
crystal blood chalice
399
00:14:02,995 --> 00:14:05,033
of Vlad the Impaler himself!
400
00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:08,940
You left an enormous dent in
the sarcophagus of Amen-Ra,
401
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:12,313
- and you tore the Shroud of Urine!
- COLIN: Wait, wait.
402
00:14:12,347 --> 00:14:14,919
There's a Shroud
of Turin in there?
403
00:14:14,952 --> 00:14:17,457
No. The Shroud of Urine.
404
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,294
It is a completely
different thing
405
00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:21,065
and even more valuable.
406
00:14:21,098 --> 00:14:22,935
And it is ruined!
407
00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:24,639
What you're failing
to understand
408
00:14:24,672 --> 00:14:27,444
is the ball ache that we
both had trying to get this
409
00:14:27,477 --> 00:14:30,216
from inside there to out here.
410
00:14:30,249 --> 00:14:32,353
That would make a
lot of sense to me,
411
00:14:32,387 --> 00:14:35,627
if there wasn't a
giant red button.
412
00:14:35,661 --> 00:14:37,063
(alarm blares)
413
00:14:37,097 --> 00:14:41,004
Ah, the magic of
mechanical garage doors.
414
00:14:41,038 --> 00:14:44,010
COLIN: Yeah, okay. But how
were we supposed to see
415
00:14:44,044 --> 00:14:47,217
the big red button
when we were inside?
416
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:49,121
You're right. A couple
of idiots inside
417
00:14:49,154 --> 00:14:51,258
couldn't see the
other red button?
418
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,362
That says "push to open"?
419
00:14:53,396 --> 00:14:55,133
Fuck it!(alarm blares)
420
00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:58,540
Have fun! I've got to go
call the insurance people!
421
00:14:58,573 --> 00:15:00,944
They're gonna rip me apart.
422
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:06,956
Well, I think I'm gonna
head home and do my research
423
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,268
- from there for a while.
- No, hang on.
424
00:15:08,292 --> 00:15:09,962
I can give you a
lift, if you like.
425
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:12,100
- Yeah, sure, that sounds fun.
- (chuckles)
426
00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:13,637
You'll have to top
her up, though.
427
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:15,674
Can do.(chuckles)
428
00:15:16,743 --> 00:15:18,045
LASZLO: Right.
429
00:15:18,078 --> 00:15:19,247
- You ready to roll?
- Yeah.
430
00:15:19,281 --> 00:15:20,450
(horn honks)
431
00:15:20,483 --> 00:15:22,120
Let's do it.(engine sputters)
432
00:15:22,153 --> 00:15:24,157
(sputtering)
433
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:27,263
(screaming)
434
00:15:27,297 --> 00:15:28,265
Shit.
435
00:15:28,299 --> 00:15:29,635
(screaming)
436
00:15:29,669 --> 00:15:31,438
Just kidding. I'm fine.
437
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,677
I'm fine. It's
just a little fire.
438
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:35,279
(laughs)
439
00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:37,383
NADJA: Honestly,
of all the things!
440
00:15:37,417 --> 00:15:40,156
You have really pissed all over
our pips this time, Nandor.
441
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,262
Okay, yes. My Gail
happens to be a werewolf.
442
00:15:43,295 --> 00:15:45,667
(hisses) - But when we
met, she was still a human.
443
00:15:45,701 --> 00:15:48,540
She's only recently been
turned in a werewoman.
444
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:51,345
Which is the proper term
for a female werewolf.
445
00:15:51,378 --> 00:15:53,149
And you knew this, and
you didn't tell us.
446
00:15:53,182 --> 00:15:55,419
- Well...
- I defended that woman
447
00:15:55,453 --> 00:15:56,589
against my wife's jealousy.
448
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,994
I don't dislike Gail!
449
00:15:59,027 --> 00:16:01,265
But this, me old chap,
is a bridge too far.
450
00:16:01,298 --> 00:16:03,068
Are you insinuating
451
00:16:03,102 --> 00:16:06,543
that I would do it with her
while she is in wolf form?
452
00:16:06,576 --> 00:16:09,281
Because I did, but
I was in bat form.
453
00:16:09,314 --> 00:16:11,553
And it was exclusively
hand stuff.
454
00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:13,557
We are the leaders of
the Vampiric Council.
455
00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:16,295
How do you think it
looks that one of our own
456
00:16:16,328 --> 00:16:18,165
is porking our mortal enemy!?
457
00:16:18,199 --> 00:16:20,436
Guillermo, say
something, please!
458
00:16:20,469 --> 00:16:22,575
Oh, no, don't get me
in the middle of this.
459
00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:25,046
I just want whatever
makes my master happy.
460
00:16:25,079 --> 00:16:26,649
NANDOR: Correct
answer, Guillermo.
461
00:16:26,683 --> 00:16:28,587
It's not gonna last.
462
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:31,458
Does it not bother you
that she's strung you along
463
00:16:31,493 --> 00:16:33,095
for 40 years over
becoming a vampire
464
00:16:33,128 --> 00:16:35,333
and the moment a werewolf
shows her his lipstick,
465
00:16:35,366 --> 00:16:37,036
she lets him turn
her into a werewoman?
466
00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:38,640
Being a werewolf is not a crime!
467
00:16:38,673 --> 00:16:42,380
The only crime that my Gail
is guilty of is stealing.
468
00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:44,217
Stealing my heart.
469
00:16:44,251 --> 00:16:46,054
(Doll Nadja groans,
speaks foreign language)
470
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,399
- (Nadja Doll groans)
- NANDOR: Come on, guys. Just
471
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,127
come with me and
meet her and her clan
472
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,764
and we can mingle together.
473
00:16:50,797 --> 00:16:53,235
Come see that
werewolves ain't so bad.
474
00:16:53,269 --> 00:16:55,339
- I'm in.
- Thank you, Colin Robinson.
475
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:57,076
- That's one. Laszlo?
- NADJA: Traitor!
476
00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,379
- Fine.
- That's two.
477
00:16:58,412 --> 00:17:00,684
- Laszlo! -I make...
- NANDOR: Nadja...
478
00:17:00,717 --> 00:17:01,786
Oh.
479
00:17:01,819 --> 00:17:03,355
I know that you have some
480
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,193
personal differences with Gail.
481
00:17:05,226 --> 00:17:06,663
It's only natural, as a woman...
482
00:17:06,696 --> 00:17:09,201
I don't dislike her because
she's a woman, okay?
483
00:17:09,234 --> 00:17:11,271
Okay, then. Woman,
werewoman, whatever.
484
00:17:11,305 --> 00:17:12,741
A lot of women these days
485
00:17:12,775 --> 00:17:14,745
are leaning into each other.
486
00:17:14,779 --> 00:17:16,348
It's like a thing now.
487
00:17:16,381 --> 00:17:17,827
This could be you and
this could be Gail.
488
00:17:17,851 --> 00:17:20,223
I am not going to do trust
exercises with a dog.
489
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:21,358
Please?
490
00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:22,661
- For me?
- Fine.
491
00:17:22,695 --> 00:17:25,099
- I'll go.
- Yeah!
492
00:17:25,132 --> 00:17:26,603
♪ ♪
493
00:17:31,679 --> 00:17:33,358
Okay, now, look; We're
not here to cause trouble,
494
00:17:33,382 --> 00:17:34,484
we're just here to,
you know, be nice.
495
00:17:34,518 --> 00:17:36,488
And nonconfrontational.
496
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,325
Hi, werewolves!(low growling)
497
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,363
Well, well. If it isn't
the Addams Family.
498
00:17:40,396 --> 00:17:43,369
Um... greetings.
499
00:17:43,402 --> 00:17:45,741
- (horn honks) -Car! Car!
- Hey...
500
00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,377
(indistinct shouting)
501
00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:49,080
Car.
502
00:17:49,114 --> 00:17:52,655
Sorry about making you
jump off the Circuit City
503
00:17:52,688 --> 00:17:54,124
the last time we
were all together.
504
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,161
- (grunts)
- ANGE: Toby!
505
00:17:56,194 --> 00:17:58,399
- WEREWOLF: Oh, what the hell?
- LASZLO: Well-played.
506
00:17:58,432 --> 00:18:00,403
It's a protocol thing.
It's not personal.
507
00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:01,673
Hello again. Hi.
508
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,184
- (snarling)
- Nice to... What the...
509
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,588
NANDOR: Nadja, you
must never approach
510
00:18:04,612 --> 00:18:06,190
a werewolf when they are
eating. Sorry about that.
511
00:18:06,214 --> 00:18:08,285
I'm so sorry.
512
00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:09,689
Uh, can we start again?
513
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,124
NANDOR: Yes.
514
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:12,226
Uh, I'm Chad.
515
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:13,530
Uh, you remember Ange. Yeah.
516
00:18:13,563 --> 00:18:15,433
Dougie. Toby.
517
00:18:15,466 --> 00:18:17,270
Hello again. Hi.(growls)
518
00:18:17,303 --> 00:18:18,549
- Oh, for fuck's sake!
- Michael!
519
00:18:18,573 --> 00:18:20,409
- Michael!
- I knew this was a bad idea.
520
00:18:20,443 --> 00:18:22,280
No, no, no. It's
a very good idea.
521
00:18:22,313 --> 00:18:25,119
Please, guys. I haven't
even seen Gail yet.
522
00:18:25,152 --> 00:18:26,288
Well, is that her over there?
523
00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:27,423
With that werewolf?
524
00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:30,162
(kissing, moaning)
525
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,799
GAIL: Anton is a guy
526
00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:33,870
that I date sometimes
who happens to be
527
00:18:33,903 --> 00:18:37,477
a werewolf, and he happened to
turn me into a werewolf, too.
528
00:18:37,511 --> 00:18:40,584
I'm not super
serious with Anton.
529
00:18:41,786 --> 00:18:43,455
- Guillermo!
- Excuse me.
530
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:44,735
- (chatting, laughing)
- Excuse me.
531
00:18:44,759 --> 00:18:45,794
Excuse me!(growls)
532
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:47,564
Allow me to introduce myself.
533
00:18:47,598 --> 00:18:49,434
My name's Guillermo de la Cruz
534
00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,405
and I'm the official bodyguard
535
00:18:51,438 --> 00:18:53,877
of that vampire right there.
536
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:55,313
Hi.
537
00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:57,350
(growling)
538
00:18:57,383 --> 00:18:58,352
And...?
539
00:18:58,385 --> 00:18:59,622
Ay...
540
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:01,759
Not only am I his bodyguard,
541
00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:05,333
I am also his heart guard.
542
00:19:05,366 --> 00:19:06,645
You just reminded
me of something.
543
00:19:06,669 --> 00:19:08,606
Guys, did we remember
544
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,343
to take our
Heartgard this month?
545
00:19:10,376 --> 00:19:11,879
- Oh.
- You got to remember
546
00:19:11,913 --> 00:19:13,492
- to take your Heartgard, or...
- I took it. I took it.
547
00:19:13,516 --> 00:19:14,484
- You're gonna get worms.
- We'll get worms.
548
00:19:14,518 --> 00:19:15,353
ANTON: All right?
549
00:19:15,386 --> 00:19:16,756
Oh, Jesus.
550
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,760
I always knew we
couldn't trust your kind.
551
00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:20,764
Well, I always knew we
couldn't trust your kind.
552
00:19:20,797 --> 00:19:22,634
- (hisses)
- And I always knew
553
00:19:22,668 --> 00:19:24,204
we couldn't trust your kind.
554
00:19:24,237 --> 00:19:25,883
- (hissing)
- Yes, and I, too, always knew...
555
00:19:25,907 --> 00:19:27,343
Okay, enough.
556
00:19:27,377 --> 00:19:28,913
We get it. Nobody
trusts each other.
557
00:19:28,947 --> 00:19:30,884
The only way to resolve this
558
00:19:30,917 --> 00:19:32,353
is a free-for-all.
559
00:19:32,387 --> 00:19:34,257
To the death. (Hisses)
560
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:36,361
- (growling)
- GUILLERMO: No. Stop. Stop.
561
00:19:36,395 --> 00:19:39,234
There's a better way to
resolve your differences.
562
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,269
Yeah?
563
00:19:40,302 --> 00:19:41,806
Twilight style.
564
00:19:41,839 --> 00:19:43,652
- COLIN: What's that?
- GUILLERMO: The... the movie.
565
00:19:43,676 --> 00:19:44,945
Tw-Twilight...
566
00:19:44,979 --> 00:19:46,257
You know what I'm
saying. Twilight.
567
00:19:46,281 --> 00:19:47,383
We should just play kickball.
568
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:48,920
Kick... Everyone knows kickball.
569
00:19:48,953 --> 00:19:50,700
- LASZLO: I'll kick your balls.
- Never heard of it.
570
00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:52,369
(whooping) -NADJA: Come
on, Nandor! You can do it!
571
00:19:52,393 --> 00:19:53,797
Nandor!(indistinct shouting)
572
00:19:53,830 --> 00:19:55,466
I hope you're not
feeling too tired,
573
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:57,504
'cause I can go all night!
574
00:19:57,538 --> 00:19:59,340
- (whoops)
- (whoops)
575
00:19:59,374 --> 00:20:00,753
Oh, I'm sure Gail's
completely satisfied
576
00:20:00,777 --> 00:20:03,482
with your tiny little bat dick.
577
00:20:03,516 --> 00:20:05,486
NANDOR: I'll give
you a bat dick!
578
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:07,423
(yells)
579
00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:11,298
I mean, proportionally,
it is quite normal, but
580
00:20:11,331 --> 00:20:13,837
it is slightly teensy
and ineffective.
581
00:20:13,870 --> 00:20:15,406
I mean, it's a bat dick.
582
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:16,709
You know?
583
00:20:16,743 --> 00:20:17,987
- (shouting) -(grunts)
- GAIL: Go!
584
00:20:18,011 --> 00:20:19,280
Go!
585
00:20:19,314 --> 00:20:21,418
Ah! Ah!
586
00:20:21,451 --> 00:20:22,955
NANDOR: Come on, Laszlo!
587
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,692
Use the weight of
your penis, darling.
588
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:26,228
You ready, Dick Jagger?
589
00:20:26,261 --> 00:20:27,931
Go now!(grunts)
590
00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,267
Bat!
591
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,537
NADJA: Go, Laszlo! Go!
592
00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:32,574
- (squeaking)
- (indistinct shouting)
593
00:20:32,608 --> 00:20:34,712
("Supermassive Black
Hole" by Muse playing)
594
00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:35,914
Where did he go?
595
00:20:35,947 --> 00:20:37,450
I think he's flown home.
596
00:20:37,483 --> 00:20:39,387
NANDOR: Laszlo?(cheering)
597
00:20:39,421 --> 00:20:41,258
ANTON: No! No!
598
00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:43,429
- (cheering)
- Animal form is cheating!
599
00:20:43,462 --> 00:20:45,700
Come on, werewolves,
you're slacking!
600
00:20:45,734 --> 00:20:48,005
(growling) - ♪ You're the
queen of superficial... ♪
601
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:50,342
NADJA: Give me the
ball. Give it to me.
602
00:20:50,376 --> 00:20:51,445
Get away from me, dog.
603
00:20:51,478 --> 00:20:52,848
(growls)
604
00:20:52,881 --> 00:20:54,718
- Anton, go!
- GUILLERMO: Pretend the ball
605
00:20:54,752 --> 00:20:58,660
- is Gail's head!
- I don't dislike Gail!
606
00:20:58,693 --> 00:20:59,829
(grunts)
607
00:20:59,862 --> 00:21:01,398
(screams) That was an accident!
608
00:21:01,431 --> 00:21:02,801
- Shit.
- NADJA: No, I-I did
609
00:21:02,835 --> 00:21:04,839
look out for her! Stop filming!
610
00:21:04,872 --> 00:21:06,819
- It was an accident! -NANDOR: Gail!
- ANTON: My Gail!
611
00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:08,589
- Oh...
- NADJA: I really like her. Please don't film it.
612
00:21:08,613 --> 00:21:10,316
I like this woman.
613
00:21:10,349 --> 00:21:12,588
You kicked a ball in her
head and now she's dead!
614
00:21:12,621 --> 00:21:14,725
- NADJA: Accidentally.
- My sweet Gail!
615
00:21:14,758 --> 00:21:16,829
- Stand aside, werewolf!
- (grunts)
616
00:21:16,863 --> 00:21:18,766
I know what to do.
617
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,436
(hisses)
618
00:21:28,018 --> 00:21:29,387
Ow.
619
00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:30,991
♪ ♪
620
00:21:32,761 --> 00:21:34,498
Breathe. Yummy.
621
00:21:34,532 --> 00:21:35,734
Mmm...(Gail exhales)
622
00:21:35,767 --> 00:21:37,604
Oh, yummy, yummy. Yes.
623
00:21:37,638 --> 00:21:39,007
- (gasps)
- GAIL: What happened?
624
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,744
She's alive!
625
00:21:40,777 --> 00:21:42,380
NADJA: I didn't kill her.
626
00:21:42,413 --> 00:21:43,626
- I didn't kill her.
- Where's my pocketbook?
627
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:44,885
NANDOR: Can you stand?
628
00:21:44,919 --> 00:21:46,364
- Can you stand?
- Yes, I can stand.
629
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:48,593
I'm old, but I'm not an invalid.
630
00:21:48,626 --> 00:21:50,062
- Oh...
- Hey, Gail.
631
00:21:50,095 --> 00:21:52,333
Now that you are a vampire,
632
00:21:52,366 --> 00:21:55,740
and we can spend the rest
of eternity together,
633
00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:57,978
there is something that
I would like to ask you.
634
00:21:59,515 --> 00:22:02,621
Gail Marie you-never-told-me-
your-last-name,
635
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,792
would you do me the honor
636
00:22:04,825 --> 00:22:06,496
of being my vampire bride?
637
00:22:06,529 --> 00:22:07,865
(laughing): Oh, Nandor.
638
00:22:07,898 --> 00:22:10,904
Yeah, I was married before
639
00:22:10,937 --> 00:22:14,043
and it is just...
it's just not for me.
640
00:22:14,077 --> 00:22:15,881
- (groans)
- But, hey, you know,
641
00:22:15,914 --> 00:22:18,653
maybe in 30 or 40 years
642
00:22:18,686 --> 00:22:20,790
down the road,
who knows? I mean,
643
00:22:20,824 --> 00:22:23,897
we have all eternity
644
00:22:23,930 --> 00:22:25,901
to figure this out.
645
00:22:25,934 --> 00:22:28,506
- That's ages, though.
- Yes. Listen.
646
00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:29,909
Will you wait for me?
647
00:22:29,942 --> 00:22:32,113
- Yes?
- Forever.
648
00:22:32,146 --> 00:22:33,550
- Found your pocketbook.
- Oh!
649
00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:35,085
All right, guys, I have
650
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,822
to fly to Buffalo
in the morning.
651
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:39,695
My daughter's
promotion fell through.
652
00:22:39,728 --> 00:22:41,499
- Oh...
- And then, with the weather
653
00:22:41,532 --> 00:22:43,402
that we've been having...
654
00:22:43,435 --> 00:22:44,838
I mean, I really,
655
00:22:44,872 --> 00:22:46,776
really need to get to
the airport early, okay?
656
00:22:46,809 --> 00:22:48,078
COLIN: Bye, Gail.
657
00:22:48,111 --> 00:22:50,049
- Ciao. Bye, guys.
- We love you. I like her.
658
00:22:50,082 --> 00:22:52,420
COLIN: Bye, Gail.(growling)
659
00:22:52,453 --> 00:22:53,656
- Oh!
- Whoa.
660
00:22:53,690 --> 00:22:55,459
NANDOR: Careful of the fence!
661
00:22:55,493 --> 00:22:57,698
- (groans, growls)
- Ah...
662
00:22:57,731 --> 00:22:59,133
ANTON: Bye, sweet Gail!
663
00:22:59,167 --> 00:23:01,071
NANDOR: Farewell, my Gail.
664
00:23:01,104 --> 00:23:02,708
♪ Night moves ♪
665
00:23:02,741 --> 00:23:04,745
NANDOR: I don't want
to click on this.
666
00:23:04,778 --> 00:23:06,816
This is my first website,
667
00:23:06,849 --> 00:23:08,485
and I think I did
a pretty good job.
668
00:23:08,519 --> 00:23:09,998
NADJA: Yeah. Maybe a
less exciting font.
669
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,527
- I don't like it.
- You don't like what?
670
00:23:12,561 --> 00:23:13,830
- I...
- (horn honking)
671
00:23:13,863 --> 00:23:15,767
NANDOR: Is that
what I think it is?
672
00:23:16,969 --> 00:23:18,472
- NADJA: Oh!
- LASZLO: Fancy a ride?
673
00:23:18,506 --> 00:23:20,677
Oh, I'll ride on you
anytime, my darling.
674
00:23:20,710 --> 00:23:22,122
- (Nadja laughs)
- LASZLO: Come on!
675
00:23:22,146 --> 00:23:23,759
- COLIN: How about me?
- NADJA: No, thank you.
676
00:23:23,783 --> 00:23:25,486
- COLIN: Oh.
- Gail...
677
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,865
- LASZLO: Take my hand.
- NADJA: Lovely. I remember this.
678
00:23:26,889 --> 00:23:28,559
♪ I remember, I remember... ♪
679
00:23:28,593 --> 00:23:30,497
- NADJA: Okay. You can let go now.
- Okay.
680
00:23:30,530 --> 00:23:32,109
- NANDOR: Is there room for one more?
- There certainly is.
681
00:23:32,133 --> 00:23:33,879
- GUILLERMO: For two more?
- You're going round the back.
682
00:23:33,903 --> 00:23:35,439
- ♪ Night moves ♪
- ♪ Ooh, working ♪
683
00:23:36,809 --> 00:23:39,882
- ♪ Working and practicing ♪
- ♪ Night moves ♪
684
00:23:39,915 --> 00:23:41,919
♪ Working and practicing ♪
685
00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:43,799
- ♪ Night moves ♪
- ♪ Oh, on the night moves... ♪
686
00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,829
- Ah...
- COLIN: All right, uh, everyone.
687
00:23:46,862 --> 00:23:47,965
- Get buckled in.
- (engine rumbling)
688
00:23:47,998 --> 00:23:49,033
Close the door.(door closes)
689
00:23:49,067 --> 00:23:50,469
Hold on to your butts!
690
00:23:50,503 --> 00:23:51,872
NANDOR: Wow, she
can really move!
691
00:23:51,906 --> 00:23:53,141
Can you honk the horn?
692
00:23:53,175 --> 00:23:55,112
- (horn honks)
- W-Werewolves!
693
00:23:55,145 --> 00:23:57,016
(screaming, clamoring)
694
00:23:57,049 --> 00:23:58,886
LASZLO: Hang on!(screaming)
695
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,559
- ♪ Oh, I remember ♪
- ♪ Night moves ♪
696
00:24:02,961 --> 00:24:05,700
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, I
remember ♪ - ♪ Night moves ♪
697
00:24:06,936 --> 00:24:08,506
- ♪ Oh... ♪
- ♪ Night moves ♪
698
00:24:08,539 --> 00:24:11,512
♪ I remember, yeah, I remember ♪
699
00:24:11,545 --> 00:24:13,650
- ♪ Lord, I remember ♪
- ♪ Night moves ♪
700
00:24:13,683 --> 00:24:16,054
♪ Ah, ah... ♪
701
00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:17,524
♪ Ooh ♪
702
00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:19,862
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪
703
00:24:19,895 --> 00:24:23,936
- ♪ Ooh... ♪
- ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
704
00:24:23,970 --> 00:24:26,742
- ♪ Ooh... ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh. ♪
51025
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