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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:02,630
Goodbye, Mr. Cookie President.
2
00:00:02,650 --> 00:00:04,340
Ugh!
3
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,052
Oh, thank you, Morty.
4
00:00:08,070 --> 00:00:10,240
You know, this cookie really
crumbled after Rick left.
5
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:12,515
Uh, sorry about that.
I-I-I think he was just hungry.
6
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:13,540
Look, I gotta run.
7
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,759
I-I'm sure you guys'll figure it out.
8
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,060
I-I believe in you!
9
00:00:18,790 --> 00:00:21,840
Morty! Can you help us
with this UFO-shaped hole?
10
00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:24,449
Sure, geez, but, y'know, only
because I was in the neighborhood.
11
00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:30,840
Morty, thank God!
12
00:00:30,860 --> 00:00:33,411
The beast emerged right
after your grandpa left
13
00:00:33,430 --> 00:00:35,260
and its gem went missing...
14
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,320
Geez, that is a crazy coincidence
15
00:00:37,340 --> 00:00:40,260
that I-I if I were you,
probably just best left alone.
16
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,380
He's right. We-We should celebrate.
17
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,500
- Feast?
- No time.
18
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:44,755
S-S-Sounds pretty classic though,
19
00:00:44,756 --> 00:00:46,299
don't let me hold you up!
20
00:00:50,270 --> 00:00:52,638
Son of a bitch. He marked it.
21
00:01:08,490 --> 00:01:09,614
_
22
00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:11,198
- Ah!
- _
23
00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:12,580
Phew.
24
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:16,480
Hah.
25
00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:20,160
What the...
26
00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:26,839
- Hey, what the hell?
- Agh! Jesus!
27
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,579
You got some of that green
stuff on you too, huh?
28
00:01:28,580 --> 00:01:30,380
Th-Th-This is bad.
Th-This is really bad.
29
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,469
Hey, how do you think I feel?
30
00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:34,520
I had the ultimate stash hole
and now I got a kid in my thigh.
31
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:07,090
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
32
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:09,340
Look, you seem like a perfectly
nice guy in my hand hole,
33
00:02:09,350 --> 00:02:11,600
but if I can't sort
this out, I'm dead...
34
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:14,340
What the hell, dude? Gross.
35
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,539
- I-I-I was just trying to...
- You're just trying to what?
36
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,000
Where'd this stuff come from?
37
00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:20,250
Garbage Goober, get out
here and eat this garbage.
38
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:23,630
Mmm, trash, I love trash, yum yum trash,
39
00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:25,719
- I wanna eat trash...
- Hell yeah, I love that lil guy.
40
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,180
Wait a minute.
41
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,850
Is that Mountain Dew in my
quantum transport solution?
42
00:02:29,870 --> 00:02:31,159
I-I saw you were marking the levels
43
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,380
- so I-I had to top it off.
- "Top it off?"
44
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,460
Do you know how dangerously
toxic this stuff is?
45
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,280
And you added it to my portal fluid?!
46
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,860
Only because you don't trust me!
47
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,190
Oh, that's great logic, Morty...
48
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:42,460
forgive me for not doing
the kissy chef gesture
49
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,199
since you probably spilled
this [BLEEP] everywhere
50
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,399
and I don't want to teleport my lips.
51
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,800
I did I did not spill it!
52
00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:48,779
I won't take your word for
that and I shouldn't have to,
53
00:02:48,780 --> 00:02:50,400
which is why I have sidekick rules.
54
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,800
If you can't follow them...
55
00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:54,120
I can be replaced, yeah,
yeah, so you keep telling me.
56
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,680
Excuse me? Did you just
try to call my bluff?
57
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:57,960
Have you ever seen me bluff?
58
00:02:57,980 --> 00:02:59,360
Fine. You know what, replace me!
59
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,940
Replace me, Rick! Just do it.
60
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,199
Good luck finding someone that
can be told 80 thousand times
61
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,228
how replaceable they are!
62
00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:06,500
Okay. I'll see your bluff
call and raise you reality.
63
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,840
I can't pretend I haven't been
looking forward to this.
64
00:03:08,860 --> 00:03:11,444
Behold my Wheel of Better
Things Than Morty.
65
00:03:11,450 --> 00:03:13,920
Wh-What are you eight?
I-Is this macaroni art?
66
00:03:13,940 --> 00:03:15,219
You expect me to believe you built this
67
00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:16,323
because you don't care?
68
00:03:16,324 --> 00:03:18,560
No, I built this because I
don't expect shit from you.
69
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:19,600
Come on, anything!
70
00:03:19,620 --> 00:03:22,420
Anything but Morty, let's go!
Come on baby, no whammies!
71
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,790
Duh-duh-duh-duh stop! Okay, that's it.
72
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,839
- Two crows. You're fired!
- You know what? Eat [BLEEP].
73
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,099
You're just trying to make
me feel worthless.
74
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:29,219
I never said you're worthless.
75
00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:31,299
In fact, I've given you a very
clear metric of your worth:
76
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:32,590
Two crows.
77
00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:34,300
Note I didn't say three!
78
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,290
Man, that is not a healthy relationship.
79
00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:39,120
I hope you don't mind me eavesdropping.
80
00:03:39,150 --> 00:03:42,260
Maybe we can figure out some sort
of sound-proof bandage solution.
81
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,602
Hey, did Garbage Goober
eat my porno magazines?
82
00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:46,340
So, were you like, a friend of Rick's?
83
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,420
- Were you?
- Good question.
84
00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:50,380
W-What's he doing, i-is
he out there making sure
85
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,530
you see him collecting two crows?
86
00:03:52,550 --> 00:03:53,890
And now you're thinking, gee,
87
00:03:53,910 --> 00:03:56,100
maybe if he cares enough
to hurt me this bad...
88
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,480
dot dot dot.
89
00:03:58,180 --> 00:03:59,480
Break the cycle, Morty.
90
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,620
Change the things that you can change.
91
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,120
That's what I did. And now I'm free.
92
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:08,760
Only cramming six years
into six minutes, fellas.
93
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:09,980
Take your time!
94
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,730
Now that's what I'm talking about!
95
00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:16,800
If ya nail this next one,
I've got bird quaaludes.
96
00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:18,000
And I might even share.
97
00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:20,100
Y-You know you can stop
doing that for my benefit.
98
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,320
Y'know, or-or keep doing it.
Doesn't matter. I'm out.
99
00:04:22,340 --> 00:04:24,683
- I'm walking away.
- Wait. Morty. Don't go.
100
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,268
Not until you see this!
101
00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:28,660
Commence bird on a wire!
102
00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,050
Yeeeeaaaahhhhh!
103
00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:36,360
Jerk.
104
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,230
Hey, let's hang out.
105
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:40,260
We're like brothers now,
106
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,190
we both got away, y'know,
w-where are you at?
107
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,020
Ooh, you know what, shoot, can't.
108
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,871
I'm an alien, um, so...
109
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,799
That's okay, Rick turned
my bike into a spaceship
110
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,940
for "solo adventures" like picking
up his Venusian foot ointment.
111
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,850
God, I'm seeing it so clearly now.
112
00:04:57,570 --> 00:04:59,330
Oh. Wait. I-It says
here you're on Earth.
113
00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:01,000
Yeah. Ah. Don't come here.
114
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:03,600
Why not? Look, I-I get it, my
room is sometimes messy too,
115
00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:06,170
I'll-I'll pick you up
right outside your...
116
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:08,561
- ... mental asylum.
- Busted.
117
00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:10,396
You literally said "I'm free."
118
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,620
I'm literally not free.
119
00:05:13,070 --> 00:05:15,700
Stop! That's my blanket!
120
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:16,777
How do you know Rick?
121
00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:18,580
Look, I came to your
place with him one night
122
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,740
after the bar closed.
123
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,620
I started messing around in your garage
124
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,880
and I spilled that portal stuff on me
125
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:26,500
and he... kind of launched
me to Australia...
126
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,980
like with this weirdly
primitive catapult, but...
127
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,160
But the ammunition is an
airtight carbon chamber,
128
00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:33,320
yeah, that-that... that's
how we lost our cable guy.
129
00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:35,420
Anyways, that kind of
experience shakes you up.
130
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,132
So, sorry I misled
you, have a nice life.
131
00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:41,302
Nick. You got a visitor.
132
00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:49,750
Damn, what happened to you?
133
00:05:49,770 --> 00:05:52,340
The guards like to beat us on Sundays.
134
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,760
- Still better than Mondays.
- Geez, what happens then?
135
00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:56,560
They lick our faces
when we're tied down.
136
00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:58,220
- Plus it's meat loaf day.
- Well...
137
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,270
- you're leaving now, buddy.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
138
00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:01,909
I-I swiped 'em off the
guard on my way in.
139
00:06:01,910 --> 00:06:05,310
I-I mean, sure, yeah, I could
undo my lock, but then what?
140
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:07,360
After the smartest guy in
the world's done with ya,
141
00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:08,919
it's kinda hard to find a footing again.
142
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,279
That's why I need to
get you out of here.
143
00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,920
We're not the problem, he is.
144
00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:14,780
And if you can have a fresh
start, then maybe I can too.
145
00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:17,959
It's not like it's a prison break.
146
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,259
We're just leaving, like, a hospital
147
00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:20,940
that wants to help you extra bad.
148
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,060
Follow me!
149
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,931
Hey, get back here, you
better open this door!
150
00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:31,920
- I can fly!
- Keep running, Nick.
151
00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:34,130
The more you sweat,
the saltier your cheeks.
152
00:06:34,150 --> 00:06:36,050
- Lick this!
- Thanks, Morty.
153
00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:37,566
That dude's got a tongue like a cat.
154
00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:41,100
Stop those Portal Boys!
155
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,770
Did you hear that? That's gonna stick!
156
00:06:43,790 --> 00:06:46,270
Damn. Just like Jackie Chan!
157
00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:48,650
Hah! I guess that makes me Chris Tucker.
158
00:06:48,670 --> 00:06:49,760
I-I guess?
159
00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:54,208
Gonna get you!
160
00:07:02,650 --> 00:07:04,280
Holy [BLEEP]! Did you see that?
161
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,719
I mean, you blinded a guy with puke!
162
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:06,850
Oh, it was insane.
163
00:07:06,870 --> 00:07:08,940
- Gimme dap.
- Am I doing it right?
164
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,160
D-D-Did I give you a dap yet?
165
00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:11,400
Look at us. We got out.
166
00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:13,680
And not just from the
asylum but from Rick.
167
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,060
You get to say what an adventure is now.
168
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:18,129
- You still got that list?
- Dude, we can't do that stuff
169
00:07:18,130 --> 00:07:19,149
without Rick's tech.
170
00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:22,820
Then it's time the Portal Boys
get themselves a portal gun.
171
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,559
Remember your training, crows.
172
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,080
The idol should be around that corner!
173
00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:36,179
Do you guys just follow training
when you feel like it?
174
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:38,320
That's not being trained,
that's being dicks.
175
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,338
Ah, now I see.
176
00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:42,860
The real treasure is empathy.
177
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,860
And that's worth way more
than any knick-knack.
178
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,553
You guys just earned yourselves
another adventure!
179
00:07:48,770 --> 00:07:50,240
The adventure is, you're fired.
180
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,260
Sorry, guys, if I wanted
another bleeding heart,
181
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,440
I'd inject reanimator serum
into an actual bleeding heart.
182
00:07:55,460 --> 00:07:57,140
Relax, this is an avian planet
183
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,760
with 40 million species of bird,
184
00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:00,200
even one day of working under me
185
00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:02,200
will make you apex geniuses down there.
186
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,739
Now hop into these pneumatic canisters
187
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:05,840
they used to use at bank
drive-thrus in the '70s.
188
00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:17,440
What the... Hey! Who's
tractor beaming me?!
189
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,440
- Nobody tractor beams me...
- _
190
00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:22,280
Nobody descrambles my tractor
beam scrambler to boot.
191
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,600
Sorry for the tractor beaming,
192
00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:29,760
but did you lose these two crows?
193
00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:31,920
Oh, uh, yeah, no, I-I dropped 'em off
194
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:33,720
'cause I-I can't hold a candle to them.
195
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:36,040
Y'know, it s-seemed like
a... the decent thing to do.
196
00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:38,500
Be your crows. Train yourself.
197
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,100
Crows are then trained.
198
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,419
I'm open to what you're describing
199
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:44,440
if it's easier than wiping an unearned
smirk off my grandson's face.
200
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:46,720
- W-What do I do?
- Look at your crows.
201
00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:48,280
Be your crows.
202
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:49,680
God I am so glad I'm a primate.
203
00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:51,825
Fine. Looking at my crows.
204
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,660
We train ourselves to stop training.
205
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,165
The trained are untrained,
we are untrained.
206
00:08:58,180 --> 00:09:00,510
All training is complete.
207
00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:02,628
Because no training was needed.
208
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:19,900
My God. I-I get it, now.
209
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:22,800
We are gonna shove this crow
shit down Morty's throat!
210
00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:25,340
Nick, m-maybe this isn't a good idea.
211
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:26,540
L-Like what if he catches us?
212
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:28,010
He could trap me in a Matrix again.
213
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,130
Listen to yourself.
214
00:09:29,150 --> 00:09:30,940
We wouldn't even be in this situation
215
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,940
if the dude hadn't [BLEEP] us both over.
216
00:09:33,970 --> 00:09:35,530
Damn it. He must be showing the gun off
217
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:37,500
to his stupid crows... i-it's not fair!
218
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,320
It's okay, we can still liberate
all this other stuff.
219
00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:42,440
Let's only grab what we need, though.
220
00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:44,336
Oh, no. [BLEEP].
That's Rick's can crusher!
221
00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:45,889
H-He spent three weeks perfecting that.
222
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:48,800
Morty, buddy, you forget
that we're in this together.
223
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:51,620
Besides, tell me that didn't
feel the slightest bit good.
224
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,120
I mean, yeah, but w-we
can't do that again.
225
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:55,510
Why the hell not?
226
00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,240
Whoa!
227
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:01,800
Haha!
228
00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:04,200
- Haha!
- Here we go, bitch!
229
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:06,566
Son, have you fallen in
with a weird stranger
230
00:10:06,567 --> 00:10:09,528
and are now trashing
your grandpa's place?
231
00:10:09,540 --> 00:10:10,660
'Cause I'll help!
232
00:10:12,260 --> 00:10:14,560
Dad? Psh, whatever, man.
233
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:16,940
- Ah. Yeah!
- Yeah! Now eat my ass, Rick!
234
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,360
Suck it, Sanchez!
235
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:20,940
Morty, is that what I think it is?
236
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,300
I mean, it's the equivalent of
an iPhone 3 and it's empty,
237
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,200
but it means the Portal
Boys be portal-ing!
238
00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:27,299
Rick incoming.
239
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:28,780
Oh, crap, we better skedaddle!
240
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,080
Moooooorty.
241
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:32,370
But what about my dad,
he-he's like a-a... puddle.
242
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,479
You heard the garage, Rick'll
turn him back into a solid
243
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,720
- when he gets here!
- Sorry, Dad, gotta go be heroes.
244
00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:38,510
G-Gonna take your car, love you!
245
00:10:44,100 --> 00:10:46,190
That's us down there
with the poop brown roof.
246
00:10:55,540 --> 00:10:57,840
- What is that?
- Oh. Ha. That?
247
00:10:57,860 --> 00:10:59,430
T-That's... nothing.
248
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,414
But I see "Two Crows"
written right here beside...
249
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:05,920
Gene with donkey brains,
half a Paul Giamatti,
250
00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:07,340
and... sentient shit.
251
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,100
I guess the "joke" being
that crows are stupid?
252
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,000
I think it's a little more
nuanced than that.
253
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:15,360
Right, because you just learned
empathy from us 10 minutes ago,
254
00:11:15,390 --> 00:11:17,800
but now we're going to learn
we don't get your humor?
255
00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:18,880
[BLEEP] horse shit.
256
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:21,225
Yeah, there's not a
ton to "get," genius,
257
00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:24,460
the "joke" is your grandson
was so replaceable
258
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,980
that "even" two crows could do it.
259
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,149
Haha. It's funny except it's not.
260
00:11:29,150 --> 00:11:31,760
Right, well, to be honest,
that is how I felt at the time.
261
00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:34,480
But I've-I've rounded a corner.
I seriously have, you guys.
262
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:39,640
Well, now it's time to round
the corner of death!
263
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:42,940
Let the crow-volution begin.
264
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:44,780
Aah!
265
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,240
Aw, that sound. What have you done?
266
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:51,790
Turned crows against dozens of
humans in a 300 meter radius.
267
00:11:51,810 --> 00:11:53,270
Heeeelllllp... pleaseee...
268
00:11:53,290 --> 00:11:55,270
Oh, now you beg for help?
269
00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:57,261
- That wasn't me.
- What do you mean?
270
00:11:57,270 --> 00:11:58,880
Dooooown here.
271
00:11:58,900 --> 00:12:00,479
Jerry, what the [BLEEP]?
Why are you a puddle?
272
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,250
You don't deserve these!
273
00:12:02,270 --> 00:12:03,820
- Haha.
- Genius.
274
00:12:03,850 --> 00:12:06,500
- Caaatch you at a baaad time?
- Yeah, Jerry.
275
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,440
They took my goddamn crows!
276
00:12:12,010 --> 00:12:14,440
Not now, Garbage Goober!
Get back in your hole!
277
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,070
Hohoho, our first adventure!
278
00:12:19,090 --> 00:12:20,580
This definitely the place?
279
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,599
Yeah, Rick's been ripping
these guys off for years,
280
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,800
they'll-they'll be really...
281
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:26,360
... uh, grateful.
282
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:28,440
- Y'know, there...
- Let's just get that fluid, bud.
283
00:12:28,470 --> 00:12:31,878
The Portal Boys are about
to be in portal business!
284
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,349
Here he is.
285
00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:37,384
This rat was skimming
your crystal harvest
286
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:41,160
and sending it to a spaceman
named Rick Sanchez.
287
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:42,900
- Bastard!
- Screw Rick! Kick his dick!
288
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:46,400
Yeah, right?! But me and Nick
here, we-we put a stop to that.
289
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:50,740
The people of Kuntak thank you.
290
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,220
He's a bad guy, right?
291
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,760
Y-You're gonna bring him to justice?
292
00:12:53,780 --> 00:12:55,620
Yeah, of course.
293
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:58,700
Uh, okay, p-pleasure doing business!
294
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,040
Not so fast, Morty.
295
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:02,440
We're not leaving until
we get what we came for.
296
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:04,300
- Funny, I'm prepared to.
- So, hey, look,
297
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,980
wh-what we want is portal fluid.
298
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:07,500
As our thanks.
299
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,020
Portal fluid?
300
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,400
You think I'd live in a lizard
mine if I had portal fluid?
301
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:15,980
Right, okay, or we could
just kill you for it.
302
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,020
He's kidding.
303
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,390
He's... t-the Portal Boys
only kill with kindness.
304
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,420
And with guns.
305
00:13:20,430 --> 00:13:24,349
Oh, no. Oh, no. I-I'm
not the one shooting!
306
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,266
- Kill them!
- I'm sorry.
307
00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:29,050
Stop! Stop! They're unarmed!
308
00:13:30,530 --> 00:13:34,441
Ahh! What the [BLEEP]?! Morty! Morty!
309
00:13:41,210 --> 00:13:44,350
Cool place ya got here. Very
Dark Crystal meets Hot Topic.
310
00:13:44,370 --> 00:13:45,910
Now where are my damn crows?
311
00:13:49,030 --> 00:13:50,750
Seriously?
312
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:53,126
Is there anything not on theme here?
313
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:06,370
Even now your primate storms our
ship to assert his dominance.
314
00:14:06,390 --> 00:14:09,070
Touch the sacred egg and ascend.
315
00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:12,353
No longer shall you take
orders from this beast.
316
00:14:12,354 --> 00:14:14,147
But taking orders from you i-is fine?
317
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,650
Silence, Ape!
318
00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:20,680
C'mon, if you think my crows are
gonna leave the great thing we have
319
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,650
for whatever high fantasy
bull[BLEEP] this is?
320
00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:25,560
You 're wrong. R-Right, guys?
321
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:27,570
Th-This is seriously a toss-up.
322
00:14:28,980 --> 00:14:31,220
Uh... someone wanna get that?
323
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,410
Oh. It's me, isn't it? Woof.
324
00:14:33,430 --> 00:14:35,960
Lemme just make sure it's
not an emergency... Yello.
325
00:14:35,980 --> 00:14:38,338
Rick, I'm so sorry, I-I messed up big!
326
00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:40,450
Morty? It's okay, y-ya can't
be worse off than me.
327
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,200
I-I got portal splashed, robbed you,
328
00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:43,680
jumped into a rebound with a psycho,
329
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,030
and-and left a trail of dead!
330
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,360
Wow, somebody's been busy.
331
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:47,839
I-I did it 'cause you hurt my feelings
332
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,160
w-when you chose the two crows!
333
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,220
Jesus, it was a bit, I'm
getting my ass kicked
334
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,860
by this dumb [BLEEP] crow
story, it's all gone tits up.
335
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,960
Ha, okay, I-I miss you, man.
336
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,317
Uh, goddamn it, might've
been a bit too frank there.
337
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,400
Yeah... gonna have to call ya back.
338
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:10,454
Ahh!
339
00:15:10,470 --> 00:15:12,790
Gah! Tiny-handed little brat...
340
00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:15,320
You think you can [BLEEP]
with me and get away with it?!
341
00:15:15,340 --> 00:15:17,740
Then you don't know Nick.
342
00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:28,820
Busted. You don't get it, do you?
343
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,610
As long as we have these portals,
344
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,960
- you can never escape me.
- What the hell, man.
345
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:35,228
I-I thought we were both
victims of Rick's abuse.
346
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,640
Maybe we are, maybe we're not.
347
00:15:36,660 --> 00:15:38,480
Maybe we both just drink at the same bar
348
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:41,080
and maybe one night I tried
to take his portal gun.
349
00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:43,660
See I thought Rick was my
ticket to something special,
350
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,480
but it turns out you were, Morty.
351
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:48,408
And look at me now... I'm a Portal Boy.
352
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:50,911
That name sucks! I was
just trying to yes-and!
353
00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:53,246
You don't get it, Morty.
354
00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:54,900
We're partners.
355
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,417
Now fall in line or I'll make
your life a living hell.
356
00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:59,085
No... thank... you.
357
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:03,310
Pity, I can't have you connected
to me if you're not on my side.
358
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:05,425
That means I gotta kill you.
359
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,860
The thing is, I already got a partner,
360
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,429
and there's no room for promotions.
361
00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:14,580
What the [BLEEP] did you just do?
362
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,470
Cut you out of my life.
363
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,400
Ahhh!
364
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:35,330
See how quickly your allies
abandon you, Rick Sanchez?
365
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,890
Lucky for me, abandonment's
my bread and butter.
366
00:16:42,754 --> 00:16:44,464
Oh, [BLEEP]. You were supposed to die!
367
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,840
I gotta hand it to you...
I was iffy about this one,
368
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:48,717
but crow tech slaps!
369
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:54,641
Finish him, you fools!
370
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:56,220
Go ahead. Do it.
371
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,271
You guys look so rad.
I deserve to go out this way!
372
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:07,946
Bird... qua... luudes.
373
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,029
Done.
374
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,661
Oh, my God, that was awesome.
375
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,640
Y-You could've killed me back there.
376
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,220
H-How did you guys ever forgive me?
377
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,300
Right, 'cause this toxic
thing I have with Morty
378
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,419
doesn't define us.
379
00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:24,620
Man, crows are empathetic as [BLEEP]!
380
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,592
Definitely saving this one!
381
00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:33,346
Rick and two crows!
382
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,019
Oh, my God, Morty.
383
00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:41,605
Here, here, come here,
l-let-let grandpa fix you up,
384
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,640
What do you want, a robot
hand? A lizard hand?
385
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:45,319
I can make it big again
like that one time?
386
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,443
Just my regular hand!
387
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:48,780
Right, not a time for bits, I get it.
388
00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:53,130
There ya go, good as new.
389
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,540
So we're like, back-back, right?
390
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,060
Rick and Morty, together again.
391
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,740
- Fu-Full reset?
- No.
392
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,220
No, Morty, I think we're done.
393
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,239
Be-Because I spilled the portal
fluid and didn't tell you?
394
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,780
No, Morty. 'Cause you were
too afraid to tell me.
395
00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:07,640
What we had was abusive. Don't you see?
396
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:10,216
I'm a bad partner because I
never made you a true partner.
397
00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:11,860
The crows made me see that.
398
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,279
I thought they were a joke like you,
399
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,449
but it turns out they're more
enlightened than any of us.
400
00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:17,724
O-Okay? And-And what's the undercut?
401
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:20,310
You're not hearing me.
I will never be the same,
402
00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:21,720
so I need to leave with the crows
403
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,159
and see what more they can teach me.
404
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,850
Oh. Oh.
405
00:18:25,870 --> 00:18:29,819
Here, I want you to have this.
406
00:18:29,830 --> 00:18:31,990
Oh, wow I...
407
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:35,170
You know what, Rick?
You really have changed.
408
00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:36,460
Thanks, Morty.
409
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,000
I'll always be your grandpa, Morty.
410
00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:42,040
Just kinda obsessed with crows now.
411
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:58,160
♪ Every day the sun burns brighter ♪
412
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:02,370
♪ With you by my side ♪
413
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:06,480
♪ And that we go on forever ♪
414
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:10,340
♪ Together you and I ♪
415
00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:13,940
Aww, shit! Rick and two crows!
416
00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:15,420
Kicking off my new franchise!
417
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,080
The galaxy is our telephone wire!
418
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:18,280
We'll do a thousand seasons,
419
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,620
14 episodes each, 9-9 seconds a pop
420
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,119
because that's the future of viewing...
421
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,000
shows on your shoes... Sneaki!
422
00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:25,459
That's when you've got
everybody's attention...
423
00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:26,879
when they're putting crap on their feet.
424
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,540
That's when they wanna laugh. Cry.
425
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,920
Or feel anything besides a
shoe going on their foot!
426
00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:32,500
Watch sitcoms on your sneakers!
427
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,967
The Rick and Two Crows Show,
428
00:19:33,980 --> 00:19:36,320
we're gonna be layin'...
layin' walnuts on the road
429
00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:39,020
for car tires to open em'
you know what I mean?
430
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,640
Forever, it's Rick and
two crows, forever!
431
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:49,240
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
432
00:20:18,940 --> 00:20:20,513
Where do you think you're going?
433
00:20:20,530 --> 00:20:22,120
Oh, well, ya know...
434
00:20:22,140 --> 00:20:24,934
the-the red light usually
means there's... garbage...
435
00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:27,187
Did you seriously not talk to Rick yet?
436
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,420
I kinda hinted at it.
437
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,740
L-Look, I know it's not
the job I came here for,
438
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,984
- but it's an honest living.
- Goddamn it, Harold.
439
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,420
What do they call you... Garbage Goober?
440
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,280
You are a doctor for God sakes!
441
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:39,180
Look, I don't know
how I let this happen,
442
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,160
but I-I've let it play out so
long that I can't stop now.
443
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:45,038
You're a coward.
444
00:20:45,050 --> 00:20:47,650
You're right. This ends here and now.
445
00:20:47,670 --> 00:20:50,420
Garbage Goober, we got
freshy trash trash for ya!
446
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,320
Extra stinky just the way you like it!
447
00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:56,840
Mmm, trash, I love trash...
448
00:20:56,870 --> 00:20:58,885
yum yum trash, I wanna eat trash.
449
00:21:00,345 --> 00:21:02,012
Did you get any of that?
34337
Can't find what you're looking for?
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