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1
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??????
2
00:00:06,230 --> 00:00:08,230
Argh...
3
00:00:08,910 --> 00:00:10,846
Well, I guess this is
the part of the trip
4
00:00:10,870 --> 00:00:12,766
where we start drinking our own pee.
5
00:00:12,790 --> 00:00:14,776
Well, what do you say?
You do me, and I do you?
6
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,960
We can't go on like this. We need...
7
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,136
water!
8
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Water! We're saved!
9
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[PANTING] What?
10
00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,226
No. No, no, no, no!
11
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:28,226
Benny! This water is dry!
12
00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:29,786
- What happened?
- Ah, don't worry.
13
00:00:29,810 --> 00:00:32,026
It just means that the heat's
starting to melt your brain.
14
00:00:32,050 --> 00:00:34,410
Guys! You made it!
15
00:00:35,810 --> 00:00:38,396
Dingus? I thought you were
chasing after Trig.
16
00:00:38,420 --> 00:00:40,556
I was, yeah, but then she shot my horse
17
00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:42,156
and left me stranded in the desert.
18
00:00:42,180 --> 00:00:43,756
Man, I thought I was a goner,
19
00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:46,636
until I stumbled across
this swingin' pool party!
20
00:00:46,660 --> 00:00:49,406
[CHUCKLES] Hold on.
Let me get out of the pool.
21
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Okay, he's gonna die.
22
00:00:50,830 --> 00:00:52,966
I want to introduce you guys
to my new friends.
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00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:54,326
Gentlemen, this is
24
00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:58,099
the brilliant Professor Von Ziegler.
25
00:00:58,123 --> 00:01:00,606
I almost had you in
that last chess match.
26
00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:03,976
[CHUCKLES] And this is the one and only
27
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,336
Mr. Marvellous!
28
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,209
Oh, that rabbit!
Did you see that rabbit?
29
00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:09,456
He was in there the whole time!
30
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- Wow.
- And last,
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the alluring countess.
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Enchant�.
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Okay, well, it was great
to meet all you folks
34
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but we really should get going.
35
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,631
Oh, no, no, no!
36
00:01:21,655 --> 00:01:24,415
They're just about to start
the limbo contest, so...
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00:01:25,940 --> 00:01:27,516
You grab his legs, I'll go for his arms.
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How low... can they go...
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- Okay.
- What are you guys doing?
40
00:01:31,545 --> 00:01:33,686
You're embarrassing me
in front of my new friends!
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00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:37,726
Countess! Write to me! I love you!
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
43
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All right, let's get these wagons
44
00:02:10,410 --> 00:02:11,946
roped up nice and tight!
45
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These mountains here
are the last things standing
46
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between us and Oregon.
47
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[ALL CHEER]
48
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,556
Oh, Dingus. You feeling any better?
49
00:02:18,580 --> 00:02:19,996
Yeah, a little better.
50
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:22,076
So it's, uh, looking like
I'll be riding with you guys
51
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,596
for a little while while I recuperate.
52
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,686
You know, I just wanted to clear the air
53
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,806
in case there's
any weirdness between us.
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00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,606
- Why would there be weirdness?
- You know,
55
00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:32,486
because I dumped you to start
bounty hunting Trig?
56
00:02:32,510 --> 00:02:34,606
Ah, water under the bridge, my friend.
57
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:36,486
My time spent with the Native Americans
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00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:38,856
gave me a completely different
outlook on life.
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00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,136
I've learned to shed my foolish ego.
60
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,336
Now I take pleasure
in the simple things,
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00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:45,496
like the rush of the wind,
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00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,976
or the beauty of a single leaf
on a tree.
63
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,346
Wow, you got all of that from one day.
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00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,746
What's a day? Oh, you mean a "moon."
65
00:02:52,770 --> 00:02:56,026
Sorry, I think of time
in terms of "moons" now.
66
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,786
And I think of distance
in terms of "canoes."
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00:02:58,810 --> 00:03:00,810
But more on that later. [CHUCKLES]
68
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,716
What's all this about?
69
00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:06,756
Getting ready to go
over the mountain. Remember?
70
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,756
We each agreed to do
an equal amount of the work?
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00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:11,481
Cool. Didn't ask for
your whole life story.
72
00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:13,296
I'm looking for the Reverend.
Have you seen him?
73
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,061
Oh! He and Prudence are having one of
74
00:03:16,085 --> 00:03:19,646
their special bible study
sessions in your wagon.
75
00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:23,291
Ah, my Ezekiel. He's such a good man.
76
00:03:23,315 --> 00:03:25,336
[LOUDLY] Unlike you filthy sinners!
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[HISSES]
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Bible studies, huh?
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[SCOFFS]
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- [WAGON RATTLING]
- ?? Go tell it on the mountain ??
81
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,336
PRUDENCE: Yes! Yes! Yes!
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00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,370
EZEKIEL [EXCITEDLY]:
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John!
83
00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:40,712
That was amazing.
84
00:03:40,736 --> 00:03:42,319
God, I've been married
to Todd for so long,
85
00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:43,924
I forgot sex is supposed to feel good.
86
00:03:43,948 --> 00:03:46,466
These have been the happiest
days of my life.
87
00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:48,671
It's so strange, I know the Bible says
88
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,516
what we're doing is a sin,
but everything about it
89
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,796
- feels so right.
- Maybe it is right.
90
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:55,556
I mean, we're both trapped
in bad relationships.
91
00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:57,281
Once we get to Oregon,
92
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,476
we'll come clean to our partners
93
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,071
and start our new life together.
94
00:04:00,095 --> 00:04:01,646
That sounds perfect.
95
00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:02,811
I just can't shake the feeling
96
00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:04,136
we're gonna be punished somehow.
97
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,701
TODD: Prudence! Ezekiel!
98
00:04:05,725 --> 00:04:06,806
PRUDENCE: Todd!
99
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,891
Uh, it's not what it looks like.
100
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,943
I should have known all along...
101
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:15,611
what an amazing man you are!
102
00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:16,936
Excuse me?
103
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,581
You're the reason
we're getting to Oregon.
104
00:04:18,605 --> 00:04:21,865
And I know I have been
a harsh critic at times.
105
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,901
I was wrong, okay?
106
00:04:24,925 --> 00:04:26,066
I apologise.
107
00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:28,511
Don't mention it.
Everyone makes mistakes.
108
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,236
And, on a personal note,
109
00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:34,146
I just want to thank you
110
00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:35,511
for all the special attention
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00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:37,836
that you've been paying
to my wife lately.
112
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,201
I know you've been
putting in the long hours
113
00:04:40,225 --> 00:04:41,916
with the bible study lessons.
114
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:46,316
I mean, I can hear her
screaming "Oh, God, oh, God."
115
00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:48,636
So I know that it's working.
116
00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:50,491
Can't really figure out
why the two of you
117
00:04:50,515 --> 00:04:52,693
are butt naked right now, but...
118
00:04:53,590 --> 00:04:55,286
I'm sure that's part of it, too.
119
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,166
Yeah, yeah, it is, mm-hmm.
120
00:04:57,190 --> 00:04:59,630
Well, I'll let you guys get back to it.
121
00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,416
Hey...
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00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,696
give it to her good, Rev.
123
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,960
The bible study lessons, I mean.
124
00:05:09,866 --> 00:05:13,106
- That went surprisingly well.
- [CHUCKLES]
125
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:14,746
Should we get back to our lessons?
126
00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:16,546
?? Go tell it on the mountain ??
127
00:05:16,570 --> 00:05:18,826
So, Phaedra, girl, fill me in!
128
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,986
You know, what's the hot goss
around the wagon train?
129
00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:23,106
Ooh, let me think. [GASPS]
130
00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:25,956
Juliette made one
of Martha's pie recipes,
131
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:29,400
and didn't give Martha any credit. What?
132
00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,956
That's not hot goss.
133
00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:34,076
I mean, that's not even warm goss.
134
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:37,286
That's like days-old,
left-out-on-the-counter goss.
135
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:39,310
Is this hot enough for you?
136
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,166
Round 'em up.
137
00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:44,246
[SCREAMING, CLAMOURING]
138
00:05:44,270 --> 00:05:47,491
Trig. We meet again.
139
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,426
Please don't kill me, okay?
140
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,656
You won, fair and square!
Just let me live
141
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,501
and I'll never chase you
again, I promise!
142
00:05:53,525 --> 00:05:54,776
Come on, man, have some dignity.
143
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,541
- I'm not here for you.
- [COCKS GUN]
144
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,936
I'm here for him.
145
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,000
Hey! Aah!
146
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:04,146
Zeke. Zeke!
147
00:06:04,170 --> 00:06:05,746
Look, I'm sorry, it's
my first time trying this.
148
00:06:05,770 --> 00:06:07,071
My heart's in the right place.
149
00:06:07,095 --> 00:06:09,095
No, that was good.
But something is wrong outside.
150
00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:14,676
I don't understand.
I thought you beat me already.
151
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,521
I thought I did, too,
152
00:06:16,545 --> 00:06:19,156
until I started reading the headlines.
153
00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:22,716
"Freight Train Robbed by
Daughter of Benny the Teen."
154
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:24,636
"Trig's Reign of Terror...
155
00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:27,846
Following in Daddy's Big Footsteps."
156
00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:30,211
Do you know how frustrating it is
157
00:06:30,235 --> 00:06:31,606
to be the number one bandit
158
00:06:31,630 --> 00:06:33,331
and still be compared to you?
159
00:06:33,355 --> 00:06:36,046
In all fairness, you're
a fantastic bandit, Trig,
160
00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:37,696
but Benny's the greatest of all time.
161
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,341
How can you say that?
162
00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:40,402
I mean, look at the stats.
163
00:06:40,426 --> 00:06:42,715
I'm beating him in lifetime murders,
164
00:06:42,739 --> 00:06:44,960
bank robberies, and riverboat heists.
165
00:06:44,984 --> 00:06:46,976
But you're looking at it
through an 1844 lens.
166
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,696
The game is way different
than it used to be.
167
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:49,906
The guns are heavier,
168
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,266
they didn't have zone shooting,
169
00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:53,791
not to mention all the
advancements in bandit nutrition.
170
00:06:53,815 --> 00:06:55,596
Yeah, but Trig is still a rising star.
171
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:56,961
I mean, she hasn't even
hit her peak yet.
172
00:06:56,985 --> 00:06:58,466
- Thank you.
- Now that's a fair point.
173
00:06:58,490 --> 00:06:59,866
What we gotta do is graph
174
00:06:59,890 --> 00:07:02,281
Trig's expected trajectory
with Benny's prime,
175
00:07:02,305 --> 00:07:03,506
- which was...
- 1823.
176
00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,145
What d'you know about that, boy?
Gimme some of that.
177
00:07:05,169 --> 00:07:07,196
Hey, you know what? Shut up, all of you!
178
00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,916
We don't have to speculate about
who the best of all time is,
179
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:13,451
because I'm gonna prove it right now.
180
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,006
- [CLANG]
- [ONLOOKERS GASP]
181
00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:17,270
Drop your guns,
or I'll pump you full of lead.
182
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,981
By the way, that whole
begging for my life thing
183
00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:29,056
I was doing earlier
was obviously just a ruse.
184
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,741
So when we get to Oregon,
can you not tell
185
00:07:30,765 --> 00:07:32,936
the other bounty hunters, please?
186
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,896
[GROWLS IN FRUSTRATION] Hey, pumpkin.
187
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,986
I bet you're happy to see this, huh?
188
00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:38,986
Benny the Teen, back on top.
189
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:40,786
No, you've got it all wrong.
190
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,106
I'm not the same man I used to be.
191
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,306
I have found internal peace
and happiness
192
00:07:46,330 --> 00:07:48,066
and I want to share
those gifts with you.
193
00:07:48,090 --> 00:07:51,081
I'm wanted dead or alive,
right? Can I choose dead?
194
00:07:51,105 --> 00:07:52,046
[SIGHS]
195
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:54,396
It is amazing you happened to be
196
00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:57,361
in the exact right place and
time to get the drop on Trig,
197
00:07:57,385 --> 00:07:58,916
and doing it in your underwear
198
00:07:58,940 --> 00:08:01,086
so she wouldn't hear
your clothes rustle!
199
00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:02,486
Smart!
200
00:08:02,510 --> 00:08:05,371
- Yeah, that's why we did that.
- Loud clothes, correct.
201
00:08:05,395 --> 00:08:06,928
Heroes.
202
00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:10,957
- Well, that was pretty lucky.
- That was more than lucky.
203
00:08:10,981 --> 00:08:12,821
Not only are we not being
punished for our affair,
204
00:08:12,845 --> 00:08:14,695
but it actually just helped everyone!
205
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,941
Maybe what we're doing
isn't a sin after all.
206
00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:20,096
Maybe... maybe God just
wants us to be happy.
207
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,856
- [THUNDER CRASHES]
- [LIGHTNING ZAPS]
208
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,306
??????
209
00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:27,866
Did you see that?
210
00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:29,946
A bolt of lightning just killed Claire.
211
00:08:29,970 --> 00:08:32,271
That's strange...
A single bolt of lightning
212
00:08:32,295 --> 00:08:33,751
on a perfectly clear day
213
00:08:33,775 --> 00:08:35,775
directly striking our lead ox?
214
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,276
Oh, well. Sure it's nothing.
215
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,476
Should we head up the mountain?
216
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,921
??????
217
00:08:42,945 --> 00:08:44,945
Oh, God.
218
00:08:45,687 --> 00:08:46,676
Heave!
219
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,566
[MEN GRUNTING]
220
00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:50,966
EZEKIEL: Heave!
221
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:53,006
- [WOOD CRACKS]
- JOHN: Aww!
222
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:55,326
Damn it! That's
the third broken wheel today.
223
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:57,326
Ever since we started coming up
this damn mountain,
224
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:59,206
everything's gone wrong.
It's like we're cursed!
225
00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:02,296
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
"Cursed" is a strong word, John.
226
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,296
- "Inconvenienced," perhaps.
- Well, how would you explain it?
227
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,736
People keep getting injured.
228
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,536
There's a mysterious plague
sweeping through the camp,
229
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,816
and Granny McGill keeps
spontaneously combusting.
230
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,146
Did somebody say my name?
231
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,106
Eeek! Ooh!
232
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:17,426
- Oh, not again!
- I mean, that... that's pretty normal.
233
00:09:17,450 --> 00:09:19,786
- I've seen that before.
- What is happening here?
234
00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:21,746
We are being led by a righteous man.
235
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,866
Our trip should be protected by God.
236
00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:25,316
I mean, nothing's changed, right?
237
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:26,956
You're still a completely faultless man
238
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:29,476
with nary a blemish of sin
on your perfect soul?
239
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,916
Oh, yeah, sure am. Totally.
240
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,156
Squeaky clean Zekey over here.
241
00:09:33,180 --> 00:09:35,180
- Um, excuse me a moment.
- Oh, yeah.
242
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,846
Oh, hey, Zeke. Crazy day, huh?
243
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,006
Levi's having a bit of a temper tantrum.
244
00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,846
[DEMON-VOICED] Salute Satanum!
245
00:09:42,870 --> 00:09:45,166
[CONTINUES SPEAKING LATIN]
246
00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:46,766
Now Levi, what did we say
247
00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,656
about praising Satan in ancient Latin?
248
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,816
[DEMON VOICE]
Shove it up your ass, bitch.
249
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,696
[CHUCKLES] He's such a scamp.
250
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,016
Are you not the tiniest bit concerned
251
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,616
that the sudden downturn
things have taken
252
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,336
might be our doing?
253
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,376
- What do you mean?
- I feel like God is punishing us
254
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,706
for the affair.
255
00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,346
Come on, not this again.
256
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,866
I thought you said you were over it.
257
00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:06,706
I thought I was, but look around you.
258
00:10:06,730 --> 00:10:08,506
Things are not going great right now.
259
00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:09,946
Everything's fine.
260
00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:11,266
You're just stuck in your own head.
261
00:10:11,290 --> 00:10:12,956
So, the wagon's free at lunch.
262
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,356
What do you say I help you
get out of your head, huh?
263
00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:18,316
[ROARS]
264
00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,940
I should probably deal
with this, but come by later.
265
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:23,796
[DEMON VOICE] Shove it
up your ass, bitch.
266
00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:25,286
You already said that one.
267
00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:27,446
[DEMON VOICE] Oops. Sorry about that.
268
00:10:27,470 --> 00:10:30,766
My name is Gorgeous Pete,
and I'm a bandit.
269
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:32,246
ALL: Hi, Gorgeous Pete.
270
00:10:32,270 --> 00:10:34,446
This is a painting I made of myself.
271
00:10:34,470 --> 00:10:36,006
It's a scary outlaw.
272
00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:38,536
But that's not the real me
on the inside.
273
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,056
I want to be a dancer.
274
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,960
You don't have to be
that guy anymore. Let it go.
275
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,456
All right, who wants to go next?
276
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,490
Uh, Trig?
277
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,290
Sure. Um...
278
00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:55,930
This is a painting of me.
279
00:10:56,410 --> 00:10:58,906
As you can see, I'm
giving you the middle finger.
280
00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:00,656
[LAUGHS] Okay.
281
00:11:00,696 --> 00:11:02,116
We have a hard case here, don't we?
282
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:04,836
I get it. I used to be just like you.
283
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:07,596
Every weekend I was out robbing banks,
284
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,796
sticking up stagecoaches,
285
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:11,716
but I felt empty on the inside.
286
00:11:12,113 --> 00:11:14,326
That is, until I did the work
287
00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:16,646
and I became
the fully enlightened person
288
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:18,046
that you see now.
289
00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:20,446
Oh, my God, I'm in hell. This is hell.
290
00:11:20,470 --> 00:11:22,566
No, Trig.
291
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:25,656
Why can't you achieve
the same level of growth as me?
292
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,376
Because it's bullshit.
293
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,536
One spiritual weekend retreat
does not change a lifetime
294
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,456
of being a selfish asshole.
295
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,456
Except in my case,
that's exactly what happened.
296
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:36,706
Because I did the work.
297
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,866
Stop saying you did the work!
298
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:40,400
What work? What does that even mean?
299
00:11:40,424 --> 00:11:42,386
It's the work. It's what I did.
300
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,847
- Yeah, he did the work.
- Shut up, Kevin!
301
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,706
Okay, all right, look,
why don't we move on
302
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:48,266
to our Kundalini exercises?
303
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,996
I think we need to release
304
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,836
the negative energy from our buttholes.
305
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:55,156
All right, everybody up. Come on.
306
00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:56,996
On your feet, and bend over.
307
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,356
- Yeah.
- [ALL GROAN]
308
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:00,726
Loosen those hips. Let it out.
309
00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:03,166
Hey, Zeke. Sorry I'm late.
310
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:05,406
There was a freak outbreak of frogs.
311
00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:07,406
Honestly, it was
just more random than bad.
312
00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:08,686
Whoa.
313
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:11,558
?? A-a-amen ??
314
00:12:11,582 --> 00:12:15,736
- Oh, hey.
- Hey. You decorated.
315
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,256
I thought our S-E-X
could use a little G-O-D?
316
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,336
That way, we can continue our affair
317
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,536
and appease our vengeful
lord and saviour.
318
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:26,826
Uh, I mean, it's a little distracting
319
00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:28,746
but if it's what you need...
320
00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:30,986
First, we set the mood
321
00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:34,146
with a naughty little
sprinkle of holy water.
322
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,906
Wow, you're really using a lot.
323
00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:37,061
Yeah. Make sure to get some
on your face.
324
00:12:37,085 --> 00:12:38,836
[SPUTTERS] Uh... very nice.
325
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:40,716
And can I interest my lady
326
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,436
in a taste of bitter ashes?
327
00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:44,996
Maybe we can just skip to the part
328
00:12:45,020 --> 00:12:46,876
- where we make out?
- Of course.
329
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:50,246
And I have the perfect thing for that.
330
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,046
What? What is that?
331
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:54,006
Just a little contraption I built.
332
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:57,366
The hammer will continuously
strike me in the testicles as we kiss,
333
00:12:57,390 --> 00:13:00,416
thereby removing all pleasure
from the sexual experience.
334
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,776
- Shall we take it for a spin?
- Uh, are you sure?
335
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,976
I don't think that's...
336
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,536
[SCREAMS IN PAIN]
337
00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:08,336
Oh, wow! That did damage!
338
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,056
Oh, one blow is utterly devastating!
339
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,986
I can't imagine doing that
even once more,
340
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,484
let alone for
an entire make-out session.
341
00:13:15,508 --> 00:13:17,026
Um, I'm sorry. Can we stop?
342
00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,506
This isn't working for me.
343
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:19,826
How's it supposed to make me feel
344
00:13:19,850 --> 00:13:21,506
that you have to punish
yourself to be with me?
345
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:23,466
It's just... it's the only thing
I've thought of
346
00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:24,950
to atone for our sins.
347
00:13:24,974 --> 00:13:26,974
Zeke, I'm ready to share
my whole life with you.
348
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:29,116
But I need you to be in it, too,
349
00:13:29,140 --> 00:13:31,036
and not think that
our relationship is a sin.
350
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,116
I'm sorry. No, no, no, no.
351
00:13:33,140 --> 00:13:34,876
Of course, of course
I want to be with you.
352
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,421
I... you're right. I am being ridiculous
353
00:13:38,477 --> 00:13:40,166
and if you will still have me,
354
00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:41,726
I'd like to make out with you
super hard right now.
355
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,750
There we go.
356
00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:46,526
[WAGON RATTLING]
357
00:13:46,550 --> 00:13:48,560
Oh, that's not good.
358
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,136
- Rockslide!
- We're all gonna die!
359
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,936
Jesus, Martha, we're right here!
360
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,296
You don't have to yell!
361
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,376
- Take cover!
- Oh, shit!
362
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,546
- Hurry up with that lock!
- I'm trying!
363
00:14:00,570 --> 00:14:02,986
- Aah!
- Ow! Ah!
364
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,546
- Oh...
- It's okay, Benny.
365
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:09,946
You taught us all how to
abandon our selfish ways.
366
00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:12,066
We'll all stick together
till the bitter end.
367
00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:13,878
Yeah, about that...
368
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,956
it's every man for himself. Good luck!
369
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:18,076
See ya, suckers!
370
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,836
- Ooh! Ee! Ow!
- Ah, ah!
371
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:23,420
- What's he doing?
- Being the same ol' Benny.
372
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,430
MARTHA: It's gonna collapse!
373
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:29,486
Well, at least we're together.
374
00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:31,510
[SCREAMING]
375
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:36,856
Dear Lord, I repent my wicked ways.
376
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,936
I committed the sin
of adultery with Prudence.
377
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,576
- The hell?
- I was too weak
378
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,696
to resist the temptation
of the harlot's flesh!
379
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,936
She bewitched me with
her devilish charms,
380
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,256
and ankles that just won't quit!
381
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,696
It was wicked and wrong,
382
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,410
and I promise I will never
disobey you again, oh, Lord!
383
00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:55,346
Yes! Yes! It worked! Thank you!
384
00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:57,426
Thank you, oh, Lord,
for your infinite mercy!
385
00:14:57,450 --> 00:15:00,756
Pru, you see that? We're saved.
386
00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:02,676
Well, I guess I know
how you really feel now.
387
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,220
Oh, Pru, wait.
388
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,208
[CHUCKLES]
389
00:15:09,232 --> 00:15:11,196
Oh, hey, guys.
390
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:12,262
[CHUCKLES]
391
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,514
So, that happened.
392
00:15:14,270 --> 00:15:16,270
Now this is hot goss!
393
00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:21,886
So, things got a little crazy there.
394
00:15:21,910 --> 00:15:23,206
Some personal stuff came to light
395
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:25,016
that I'm obviously
not particularly proud of.
396
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,536
But the main thing is
397
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,216
we are back on track
to make it to Oregon.
398
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,456
- So...
- Enough!
399
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,616
Why should we listen to you anymore?
400
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,536
You seduced me away
from my fellow Noonans
401
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,746
only to make the beast
with two backs with that wench.
402
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,146
You are not a righteous man,
Ezekiel Brown.
403
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,825
You are evil.
404
00:15:41,849 --> 00:15:43,946
No one messes with my girl Phaedra
405
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:45,026
and gets away with it.
406
00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:47,266
Team Phae-Phae for life, bitch!
407
00:15:47,290 --> 00:15:49,300
And... and... this...
This is how all of you feel?
408
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,756
None of you are Team Zeke-Zeke?
409
00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:54,516
I have an idea!
I can get my shunning kit!
410
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:57,196
[SQUEAKS HAPPILY]
Oh, uh, thank you, God.
411
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,476
This... this does help.
412
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,860
Hmph!
413
00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,126
[EXCLAIMING INCOHERENTLY]
414
00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:05,646
My God, how dare you betray me?
415
00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:08,446
You've made a proper
cuckhold of me. Oh, God.
416
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:10,846
I can feel my cuck's horns
growing in already.
417
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,296
I'm sorry, Todd.
418
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,056
Clearly, I made a mistake with Zeke.
419
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,376
How did you even find the time
420
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,376
to have an affair between
all the bible study sessions?
421
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,536
- Uh...
- Doesn't matter.
422
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,626
Just stay in the wagon. Try not to bone
423
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,650
too many dudes while I'm out.
424
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:31,706
God, that no good, stinking reverend!
425
00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:34,866
I never should've trusted him. Gosh!
426
00:16:34,890 --> 00:16:37,196
Hey there, Todd.
427
00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:39,220
Rough day, huh?
428
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:41,476
I shouldn't be talking to you.
429
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,356
Well, I just think it's
messed up what he did to you,
430
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:46,196
stealing your girl like that.
431
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,006
You know, everyone's laughing at you.
432
00:16:48,783 --> 00:16:50,246
- They are?
- Yep.
433
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:52,446
And it's all because of him.
434
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,566
Yeah! Though, if I'm
being honest with myself,
435
00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:58,206
I wonder if I had a small part
to play in this.
436
00:16:58,230 --> 00:17:00,096
I don't think I was always
a good husband...
437
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,136
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
438
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,776
You had it right the first time.
439
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,376
You're perfect, he sucks.
440
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,536
Yeah! That British little shit!
441
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,696
God, I wish there was a way
I could get back at him.
442
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,816
Maybe there is,
443
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,266
but first, you have to do
something for me.
444
00:17:14,290 --> 00:17:16,386
??????
445
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,026
[GRUNTS OF EXERTION]
446
00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:20,506
Put your backs into it!
447
00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:23,426
Oof, why did they make
these wagons so heavy?
448
00:17:23,450 --> 00:17:25,740
- Hey, I'm gonna take five.
- What?
449
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:29,596
Howdy, Rev.
450
00:17:29,620 --> 00:17:31,156
Oh, you're not supposed
to talk to me, remember?
451
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,356
- I am shunned.
- Eh.
452
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:33,756
How you holding up, anyway?
453
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:34,996
Yeah, not great.
454
00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,326
The beggar's cloth
455
00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:38,086
scratches my skin
with every step that I take
456
00:17:38,110 --> 00:17:39,486
And the stone of shame
457
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:40,726
feels like it's about to snap my neck.
458
00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:43,846
And I lost the love of my life
forever, so...
459
00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:46,766
[SIGHS] But, if it gets us
back on God's good side,
460
00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:47,886
all worth it, right?
461
00:17:48,092 --> 00:17:49,920
[TODD LAUGHS]
462
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,336
Todd? What are you doing?
463
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:58,056
This is what happens when you
disrespect Todd Aberdeen!
464
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,066
- No, no, no, no.
- [TODD LAUGHING]
465
00:18:00,090 --> 00:18:07,530
??????
466
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,700
[EXTENDED CRASHING]
467
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:19,836
JOHN: What the hell are you thinking?
468
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:22,076
How we gonna get off this mountain now?
469
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:25,310
You're not getting down. I am!
470
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:29,286
Help!
471
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,726
- Prudence!
- Zeke!
472
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,470
Help!
473
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:35,646
Ah, ah, ah! Not so fast, loverboy.
474
00:18:35,670 --> 00:18:37,416
And sorry I can't stick around
475
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,536
and listen to more
of your bullshit, Benny.
476
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,256
I gotta get back to being
the best bandit of all time.
477
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,416
Trig, wait!
478
00:18:43,814 --> 00:18:46,376
You're right. I haven't changed.
479
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,306
I'm still the same
selfish jerk I've always been
480
00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:51,106
but I... I'm trying.
481
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,626
And I meant it when I said
482
00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:56,250
I care about you
and I want you to be happy.
483
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:00,476
I don't believe a damn word you say.
484
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:02,516
The only thing that would make me happy
485
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:05,676
is you freezing to death
on top of this mountain.
486
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,338
Let's ride.
487
00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:15,406
??????
488
00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:17,590
You were saying something
about God protecting us?
489
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:21,526
"Congratulations on
your new Testicle Kicker 900,
490
00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:22,806
"the very latest in self-punishment
491
00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,696
from your friends
at the Ouch Corporation."
492
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,216
Uh... aha!
493
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,856
"Connect the testicle-crushing hammer
494
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,136
to slot C."
495
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,863
Where is slot C?
496
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,440
Seems like a really key piece
of information.
497
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,050
Ow.
498
00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,506
I know we're being cursed,
499
00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:44,306
but do you have
to make the print so tiny?
500
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,450
That seems unnecessarily cruel.
501
00:19:47,690 --> 00:19:50,196
Get in there, get in there,
get in there, aah!
502
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,620
Yes! Ha ha!
503
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:56,556
Oh! Yaa!
504
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,966
Aah, yes! Right in the junk.
505
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,990
Prudence is gonna love this.
506
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:06,590
Repair and Synchronization by
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