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1
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RACE COMMENTATOR:
'They're off...'
2
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:13,820
Hey-up, I'm onto a winner at last!
You needn't be walking with me.
3
00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:20,880
Fate keeps throwing us together.
No use fighting against it. It's better than accepting it!
4
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:26,940
I don't know why you waste money
in betting shops! Wait until my big treble comes up.
5
00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:33,440
It's thee and me for the big time.
I'll make you an attractive offer. You needn't bother.
6
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,820
You don't even know what it is.
I don't want to.
7
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:45,000
Tha'll be sorry. It could be thee
and me on the Orient Express. You couldn't afford the DAILY Express!
8
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:50,020
What about Wally's insurance?
I'm not too proud to be kept.
9
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,700
What's this?
A person in search of a hernia?
10
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:45,020
Always find the centre of balance.
11
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:51,560
You see? A tip I learned
from the former Mrs Truelove.
12
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:56,780
It's not me first ladder.
It handles much more easily.
13
00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:59,820
You can manoeuvre
with half the effort.
14
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,180
The fool was clearly speeding.
15
00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:10,880
If you need a witness, call me.
16
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:29,760
You can secure anything
with a small deposit.
17
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,340
How small? How small have you got?
18
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:38,920
Never mind. I get the message. You
couldn't put a deposit on a deposit.
19
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:43,040
It's just a temporary shortage.
Of trousers, too!
20
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:49,140
What are you after anyway?
A nice gift for a lady. I admire your ambition.
21
00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:56,220
I don't fancy your chances
in your financial state. I thought we might come to an arrangement.
22
00:02:56,220 --> 00:03:03,760
What did you have in mind? I've got
this house full of antiques that I don't know the value of.
23
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:08,840
I thought tha'd take a look, maybe
take your pick. We could do a swap.
24
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,940
How old is this stuff?
Oh, it's old. Very old.
25
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:18,020
Have you got some old furniture?
Have I got some old furniture?!
26
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:23,100
I could come round this afternoon.
Tha'll never regret it.
27
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:28,200
It's a buyer's market. How's
your heart? I'm not selling THAT!
28
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:32,260
Is it reliable? It's fine.
Just checking.
29
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:39,420
I don't want another one going
to pieces when I make an offer. I'll see you later.
30
00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:48,400
Ridiculous fuss.
31
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:53,460
I wouldn't say that. I was only
giving them a quick brush.
32
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:56,340
Not that. This fool in the paper.
33
00:03:56,340 --> 00:04:01,420
Stops some idiot choking in
a restaurant, suddenly he's a hero.
34
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:05,440
Big picture...
self-satisfied smile...
35
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,260
I'D have thought he was a hero.
36
00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:11,820
Especially
if it was ME that was choking!
37
00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:14,540
The action was decent enough.
38
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:20,780
It's all the fuss.
When I did something heroic, there was nobody around to make a fuss!
39
00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:23,880
Career-wise,
that's where I went wrong.
40
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:31,440
I should have sucked up
to the media more, instead of being Truly of The Yard, Man of Mystery.
41
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,160
I thought it was Man of MISERY.
42
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,780
On account
of the former Mrs Truelove.
43
00:04:37,780 --> 00:04:40,380
A case in point.
44
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,020
She was worth a medal!
45
00:04:43,020 --> 00:04:45,580
Women are funny.
46
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:48,820
From the front, anyway.
47
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:50,580
Funny?
48
00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:54,740
"Amuse me", she said.
I tried everything.
49
00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:57,380
I showed her how handcuffs work.
50
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,020
They always want more.
51
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:02,760
Mine bought me some slippers.
52
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,900
They were old fashioned.
Even I could see that.
53
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:13,340
So I knew that the keynote
was going to be comfort rather than anything excitable.
54
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,080
I felt better after that.
55
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:21,760
I know fellas whose mothers-in-law
were at death's door...
56
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,420
and mine wasn't even trying.
57
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,760
Would you say he's competent
up a ladder?
58
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,880
Howard's not all that competent
on the ground!
59
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:58,960
See how easy it would be to gain
a reputation for swift action in an emergency? It was always easy.
60
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:05,020
You just run the other way.
Not if you require your picture in the press!
61
00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:10,100
You want your picture in
the papers! Merely to demonstrate
62
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:15,180
how easy it is if one is that way
inclined. So where's the emergency?
63
00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:20,240
That's him up the ladder. Howard
is about to break his neck. No!
64
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:25,340
Howard's always up a ladder.
Pearl's trained him for ladders.
65
00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:32,100
She's done everything except
feed him bananas. I don't agree. Look at him.
66
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,000
Clearly incompetent up a ladder.
67
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,760
Not properly secured at the bottom.
68
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,480
He looks all right to me.
69
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:45,060
I have an instinct for these things.
70
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:52,680
See? Petrified.
Clearly aware of how dangerous it is.
71
00:06:52,680 --> 00:07:00,100
I was all right till you started
kicking the ladder! Kicking the ladder? I was testing for safety.
72
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:06,780
The first duty
of the emergency services. After ensuring that they're photogenic.
73
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:10,900
Howard, are you thinking
of falling off that ladder?
74
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:13,760
No, thank you very much.
75
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,580
There you are, Truly. Let's go.
76
00:07:16,580 --> 00:07:20,780
How can you take the word
of a total idiot?
77
00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:23,580
He's not fit to be left here.
78
00:07:26,340 --> 00:07:31,540
Let yourself go! Strong arms
are waiting to only just miss you.
79
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:48,820
You were right, Truly. You said
somebody was going to get hurt!
80
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:54,780
Compared with the former
Mrs Truelove, he's a novice with a wet cloth.
81
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:03,540
Morning, Mr Simmonite.
Morning, Barry.
82
00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:11,360
Out on building society business?
That's right. Big, that building society you work for? Very big.
83
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:16,780
Very successful? Very. We have
assets of several hundred millions.
84
00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:19,560
Several hundred millions?!
85
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,760
And all I want
is a loan of a few quid.
86
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,600
What are the chances? Not good!
87
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,800
I thought I'd ask.
No harm in asking. No.
88
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:37,940
Must be hard for thee, to turn down
a bloke for a few quid when tha's got several hundred million!
89
00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:41,980
Yes. We all have
sleepless nights over it(!)
90
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,800
Tha mustn't have sleepless nights.
91
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:49,780
If I owed thee a few quid,
I wouldn't have sleepless nights!
92
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:09,780
I've just been told I can't have
a loan from the building society.
93
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:14,580
What made you think
you were building society material?
94
00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:19,760
Just a guess. I think it must be
me age that's against me.
95
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:24,820
What were you wearing? Have you
thought of a ski-mask and a gun?
96
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:27,520
Why approach a building society?
97
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:33,740
Your financial moves
are all made at the betting office. Business is a bit slow.
98
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,560
And your horses even slower!
99
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:41,780
You have the right to remain silent,
but what do you want a loan for?
100
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:46,400
To give Nora a treat. No problem.
Move to Australia.
101
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:50,740
It's full of Aussies.
There's always a snag.
102
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:53,480
A treat for Nora Batty!
103
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,780
You're a little softie!
I am, Norm!
104
00:09:57,780 --> 00:10:02,860
Underneath that funny exterior,
there's an even funnier inside.
105
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:06,920
Listen! Sssh!
Thought I heard something.
106
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:12,000
Like what? The cry of distress.
It were a curlew.
107
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,760
Oh. A curlew in distress!
108
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,860
Whatever if was,
Truly of The Yard is always ready.
109
00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:23,940
What's he talking about, Norm?
He's determined to rescue somebody.
110
00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:30,000
To show how easy it is
to get in the papers. He can rescue me from poverty.
111
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:35,040
You wouldn't like not being poor.
There's too much responsibility.
112
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:53,680
Ye gods!
Is is raining THAT hard?!
113
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:58,800
I'm going fishing.
I'd never have guessed(!)
114
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,900
I didn't think
you were playing cricket.
115
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:10,000
I thought I'd have a cup of tea
before I go, then people will know I've gone fishing.
116
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:16,080
Even though you tell them
you're going fishing, people don't always believe you.
117
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:23,380
If you've got witnesses, they MIGHT
believe you. If Pearl inquires, I'll tell her you've gone fishing.
118
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:30,740
And it you haven't gone fishing,
she needn't worry cos you're not going to get up to much in THAT lot!
119
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:40,760
Experience tells us
that there's nothing to be gained by doing anything heroic
120
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,460
if there's no-one around to see.
121
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:49,540
I bet the first one never to be
around when heroics was needed was thee!
122
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:55,620
This chest would have been covered
with medals if there'd been witnesses to my deeds!
123
00:11:55,620 --> 00:12:02,980
THIS chest would have been covered
with previous convictions if there'd been witnesses!
124
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:07,080
This chest would have been covered
with embarrassment
125
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:13,080
if there'd been witnesses
to even half the things that life gets you into.
126
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,820
Even when you're not really trying.
127
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:23,320
Know what I hated about the war?
They gave you all that uniform, then took it away for every medical.
128
00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:30,780
Now, here you have your
standard accident waiting to happen.
129
00:12:30,780 --> 00:12:33,400
But it's all fenced off.
130
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:38,100
With a poncy bit of plastic
in two tasteful tones(!)
131
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:43,560
Who's gonna fall in there in broad
daylight? Here's one possibility!
132
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,540
What's up?
133
00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:53,220
There's a hole in the road.
Good heavens!
134
00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:03,400
Fancy! Who'd leave THAT there?
135
00:13:06,780 --> 00:13:13,260
There's something about
that gaping hole that reminds me of the former Mrs Truelove.
136
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:18,800
I'm getting ready for a drink.
Think of your fellow human beings!
137
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,200
I am.
I'm wondering which one's paying!
138
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,940
I give in. It's my turn.
139
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:30,160
Norman, I like thee better
than a building society!
140
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,780
And I don't close on Sundays.
141
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:35,340
Just a moment.
142
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:38,200
Let's examine the evidence here.
143
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:45,560
Have you two ever thought there
might be some sinister reason why there's no-one around that hole?
144
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,200
Where are the workmen?
145
00:13:49,780 --> 00:13:55,800
They've gone for a drink.
Unless...they're lying down there overcome by fumes.
146
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:59,820
Now, trust me.
I have an instinct for these things.
147
00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:11,980
Your Barry's at work then, is he?
Yes. He has a very responsible position.
148
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:19,180
It must be nice when you know where
they are. I ALWAYS know where Barry is. You've got one in a million.
149
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:24,240
Doesn't he have ANY peculiarities?
Not really. Not my Barry.
150
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,820
Seems unnatural.
151
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:32,840
Well, he occasionally plays
the saxophone. It's better than what MINE plays.
152
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,500
Mine plays the fool all the time.
153
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:40,760
He's gone fishing. He's got more
gear on than the average trawler.
154
00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,500
My Barry's not very sporting.
155
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:47,720
There's always a snag.
You can't have everything.
156
00:14:55,760 --> 00:15:01,360
Does he often listen to manholes?
I'd no idea he was musical!
157
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:06,360
Don't just stand there taking
the wee-wee. Come and listen!
158
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,460
I can't hear anything. Exactly.
159
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:22,520
I can't hear anything exactly
either. If they were alive, we should be hearing something.
160
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:29,820
None of our business. Which is why
your average innocent citizen gets into serious trouble.
161
00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:37,460
Other people go sauntering past
saying, "None of my business." Take your jacket off. What for?
162
00:15:37,460 --> 00:15:44,540
You don't want to be a vital part
of this rescue operation? What does thou think, Norman?
163
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:50,740
Take it off.
It's easier than arguing. People could be in trouble down there!
164
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,340
You cheeky bat!
165
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:03,100
Hello! Hello! Hello!
166
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,800
Are you all right down there?
167
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:10,800
If you can't speak, give one knock
for yes, two for no.
168
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,480
You see? No reply.
169
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,040
Must be fumes.
170
00:16:26,700 --> 00:16:31,780
In those days, in the grocery trade,
it were a very long apprenticeship.
171
00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:34,540
Not like these days, no.
172
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:41,160
There were so many things to learn.
I were 21 before they let me near the bacon slicer!
173
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:47,800
I ought to be...
These days, you see bits of kids hanging on bacon slicers!
174
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:54,580
You know, I can remember
spending my first three years cutting pats of butter.
175
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:58,820
It were all in a big lump
in one big tub.
176
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:04,880
Us butter patters,
we had to learn how to pat it into handy little pats of butter.
177
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:09,960
That's very interesting, but...
I don't think anyone round here
178
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:14,040
is a better butter patter
than I am.
179
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:18,120
If ever you need any butter patting,
let me know.
180
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,820
That's kind of you. Thank you.
181
00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:25,840
Barry, just the lad! The barmaid's
car won't start. Can you help me?
182
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:30,340
I-I'm working...
It won't take a minute. But...
183
00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:40,880
Before we hurry to rescue you,
perhaps you could advise us if the fumes are likely to be fatal.
184
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:48,600
I don't like this.
Someone's got to go down there.
185
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,780
I've done MY bit.
Tha's on my jacket.
186
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,540
Clegg, YOU'LL have to go.
187
00:17:55,540 --> 00:18:00,600
Why me? I'd rather go myself,
but I've got to stay and organise.
188
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:06,100
I want you to go down there and test
for fumes. How do I do THAT?
189
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:10,320
Whistle like a canary.
If it stops, get out.
190
00:18:11,740 --> 00:18:14,500
You do it in a scientific manner.
191
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,160
Go down there and have a good sniff.
192
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,060
Suppose it's poisonous?
193
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:24,220
Try to inhale no more
than the recommended dose.
194
00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:27,780
Oh, I'LL go!
195
00:18:27,780 --> 00:18:30,580
Stay calm. I'm on my way.
196
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:35,980
If there are any smokers down there,
this is not a good time!
197
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:38,740
I'm coming down nowwwwwwww!
198
00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:41,960
Ooops!
199
00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:47,740
When he goes down,
he REALLY goes down.
200
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:53,060
Is this yours?
201
00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:58,060
BOTH: Never seen him before!
202
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:06,820
I daren't get me clothes dirty.
I've got a client to see.
203
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:13,820
Of course you daren't.
Edie tells everybody how spotless and managerial you are.
204
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,560
Not quite managerial. Not yet.
205
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:21,800
I'LL do the grimy bits.
I was born to do the grimy bits.
206
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:26,780
You sit behind the wheel
and follow my instructions.
207
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,380
She's a bit chaotic inside.
208
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,160
Ever met a barmaid that wasn't?
209
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:40,180
Give the engine a turn.
You're giving ME a turn! Hold it.
210
00:19:41,740 --> 00:19:45,700
Can you come and hold this
a minute, Barry?
211
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,800
Fancy...
212
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:56,860
being trapped in your own home
with an Auntie Wainwright! I feel sorry for HER...
213
00:19:56,860 --> 00:20:02,120
if she has to turn his ferrets
upside down looking for the hallmark.
214
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,760
Oh, hello.
215
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,680
What are you two doing out here?
216
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,820
Where's the other one?
Inside. Engaged on business.
217
00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:21,260
HIM? Doing business? They don't
usually START from a position of bankruptcy. Usually takes a while.
218
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:28,400
I just think he's so brave. He's
got Auntie Wainwright in there looking to buy some of his things.
219
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,500
If she wants junk,
she's in the right place.
220
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:37,580
Is there a market
for his kind of junk? For firelighters.
221
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:43,760
Is that all...an egg cup?
It's the only thing your ferrets haven't been in.
222
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:49,260
All that furniture and that's all
you buy? You've got woodworm.
223
00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:55,300
Never mind ME,
what about the furniture? Just the egg cup, thank you.
224
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:58,140
I'll wait for the Antiques Roadshow.
225
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:01,060
Better off waiting for the dustcart.
226
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:08,220
There's very few people with taste
around here. There's stuff in there that goes back generations.
227
00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:10,940
And that's just your unpaid bills!
228
00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:15,020
She wouldn't even buy
this genuine wartime curio.
229
00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:21,760
I thought that was me.
It always felt like me, especially when I was on sentry duty.
230
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,840
It's a life jacket.
That could be useful.
231
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,860
I knew your place was damp,
but not THAT damp!
232
00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:40,760
Why don't we go for a drink?
I bet he finds a reason!
233
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:45,880
We don't go for a drink because
we're on safety patrol. I told you!
234
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:53,240
We'd be just as safe having
a drink. Not OUR safety, the safety of river-users and other passers-by.
235
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:58,340
You think it's hard to get into
the papers, but watch this space.
236
00:21:58,340 --> 00:22:04,400
We're equipped for a rescue.
We've got a life jacket. YOU'VE got a life jacket.
237
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:09,620
I'LL be going in. Ah-ha! That's
even better than going for a drink!
238
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:15,580
I shall have
the press pictures enlarged and sent to the former Mrs Truelove.
239
00:22:15,580 --> 00:22:18,500
Pass me that big spanner.
240
00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:23,300
Big spanner? The one
that's bigger than the others!
241
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,180
I think we're making progress now.
242
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:33,340
It's been a bigger job than
I thought. Lucky you were passing. Just what I was thinking(!)
243
00:22:33,340 --> 00:22:37,540
How long
are we gonna be stopping here?
244
00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:40,380
While ever lives are at risk.
245
00:22:40,380 --> 00:22:42,980
WHAT lives at risk?
246
00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:45,780
Well, there's Truly for a start.
247
00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:49,860
He'll be risking life and limb
going in!
248
00:22:49,860 --> 00:22:53,940
"Going in"?
You thought I meant all the way in?
249
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:59,760
Isn't that the idea? The idea
is to rescue people. Not to get wet!
250
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,500
Any fool can get wet.
251
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:07,500
I thought you wanted
to look heroic. Heroic and DRY.
252
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:12,820
The sensible thing,
when somebody falls in,
253
00:23:12,820 --> 00:23:20,260
is to stand well back until he stops
splashing and then fish him out with a pole. What's the lifejacket for?
254
00:23:20,260 --> 00:23:27,020
It looks better when the press
are taking pictures. You won't forget to look modest?
255
00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:34,060
A policeman is highly trained
at practising the right expression. Nobody's gonna fall in here!
256
00:23:34,060 --> 00:23:36,780
That angler might fall in.
257
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:41,820
He's sitting on his backside on
the bank! How's he gonna fall in?
258
00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:44,520
Here's a hypothetical case.
259
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:50,580
Someone is passing by with a pole
and catches him, THEN he might fall in.
260
00:23:50,580 --> 00:23:54,620
You wouldn't!
No, of course I wouldn't.
261
00:23:54,620 --> 00:23:57,300
Then again, I could be lying.
262
00:23:57,300 --> 00:24:00,560
Mine's gone fishing.
Oh, they do.
263
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:06,360
Mine even went on our honeymoon.
That must have been a relief.
264
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:12,400
I don't think my Barry's
ever been fishing. He's happy looking tidy in a suit.
265
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:17,500
Your father went fishing once.
When he came back, he was green.
266
00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:21,780
It was not quite a lime green,
more a sort of...
267
00:24:21,780 --> 00:24:24,520
Peppermint.
Yes.
268
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,980
They're unattractive
when they're green. Oh, yes.
269
00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:36,340
It didn't suit Wesley. It's obvious
why I've never grumbled at him for being covered in oil.
270
00:24:36,340 --> 00:24:39,580
He looks better black than green.
271
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:43,480
Mine goes a strawberry colour
when he's lying.
272
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:49,360
Barry and I have a policy
of being honest with each other.
273
00:24:51,180 --> 00:24:53,940
She's very young.
274
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:02,780
If this is gonna take any longer,
I'LL fall in. Tha can rescue ME.
275
00:25:02,780 --> 00:25:08,460
That's a very decent offer, but
people won't believe it. Why not?
276
00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:16,400
They'd never believe anyone would go
in to rescue YOU. That's nice! Not well-dressed enough to be rescued.
277
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:21,800
Besides, they'd think it was
a fiddle. But it IS a fiddle.
278
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:28,340
You're waiting here
to push somebody in! That's a wicked slander!
279
00:25:28,340 --> 00:25:33,380
Tha were gonna push that angler in!
I was saying how it MIGHT happen.
280
00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:39,900
I know how it MIGHT happen.
If we're gonna hang about much longer, I'LL push him in.
281
00:25:39,900 --> 00:25:45,340
Would you? There's a good chap.
Perhaps I've misjudged you.
282
00:25:45,340 --> 00:25:48,020
I were kidding!
BARKING
283
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,860
Dogs can swim.
I bet it's dying for a swim.
284
00:25:55,960 --> 00:26:01,000
Yes, that's right. This brave chap
is risking his all to save a dog.
285
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,760
Yes, the poor little mite.
286
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,460
Very dramatic. Heart-warming.
287
00:26:06,460 --> 00:26:09,220
A wonderful human interest story.
288
00:26:09,220 --> 00:26:12,060
Don't forget to bring a photographer.
289
00:26:12,060 --> 00:26:13,700
SQUELCH!
290
00:26:23,740 --> 00:26:27,760
You've got it going?
Sweet as a bird. You're a genius.
291
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:33,180
It's just a gift. And this young
man helped? He does the simple jobs.
292
00:26:34,700 --> 00:26:37,480
Oh, I think it's wonderful!
293
00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:45,340
Barry!
294
00:26:45,340 --> 00:26:49,740
It was your father.
He said, "Come and hold this."
295
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:01,780
When it comes to it, I don't think
he'll be able to do it.
296
00:27:01,780 --> 00:27:06,840
I don't think he'll be capable
of throwing that poor dog in.
297
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:11,400
I think he could throw the former
Mrs Truelove in!
298
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,120
Only if the papers were present.
299
00:27:18,580 --> 00:27:20,220
Now!
300
00:27:20,220 --> 00:27:22,940
Here, dog. I'm not going to hurt you.
301
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:53,980
Will it be in the papers? Of course
it'll be in the papers! Front page.
302
00:27:56,060 --> 00:27:59,500
Oh, Howard,
we're in the papers!
303
00:27:59,500 --> 00:28:05,780
He's in the papers?
I was the one that did the rescuing. I went in to save the dog.
304
00:28:05,780 --> 00:28:10,040
The dog's still dry.
See how successful I was?
305
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,700
Subtitles by Janice Hamilton
BBC - 1998
306
00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:41,300
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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