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1
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:48,480
What are you using?
Mmm? Oh...
2
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,080
Have you tried this?
3
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,020
I find it leaves fewer streaks.
4
00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:57,780
But does it go on easy? No problem.
5
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:03,360
Yours is dearer than mine.
You get what you pay for.
6
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:10,400
Ye gods,
I'm standing here wearing an apron discussing window cleaning fluids!
7
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:14,400
A thing like this
could alter your whole metabolism!
8
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,880
You don't tell anybody.
9
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,680
Your secret's safe with me, Cleggy.
10
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:45,760
TAPE PLAYS A JAZZY VERSION OF
"Last Of The Summer Wine" Theme
11
00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:52,900
Get something on!
I've got something on.
12
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:56,960
Not the something you should have on
in front of a lady.
13
00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:01,340
Well, tha'd better look upon it
as an old tracksuit.
14
00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:05,140
Not the kind of track
you'd find a lady on.
15
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:08,440
What DO you think
you're doing anyway?
16
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,260
Oh! I'm getting fit.
17
00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:17,080
You've left it a bit late, haven't
you? What are you getting fit for?
18
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,480
I haven't a clue.
19
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:27,240
But doesn't it do tha heart good
to know that if anything goes wrong tha's got a neighbour next door
20
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,760
in the peak of physical...
21
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,940
con...di... Condi...tion.
22
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,380
Here, get hold of this.
23
00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:50,780
I were going to buy Nora Batty
some perfume
24
00:02:50,780 --> 00:02:54,800
but all she ever uses
is detergent and bathroom cleaner.
25
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,340
Buy her some bathroom cleaner.
26
00:02:57,340 --> 00:03:01,660
What brand? Since when
could you afford bathroom cleaner?
27
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:05,660
A man has to make sacrifices
for those he loves.
28
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:10,080
You know what your problem will be
if ever you go senile...
29
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,540
No-one's going to notice.
30
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:16,980
He thinks I'm crackers, Norm.
Ah, well, only in the head.
31
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:22,120
I bet your elbow's quite sane. I
bet you're quite sane in the elbow.
32
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,500
You're both crackers.
33
00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:30,240
What about him, then?
What's he doing?
34
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,680
It's none of our business.
35
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,940
Then we ought to find out.
36
00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:40,940
I agree.
I think we should follow him.
37
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,500
What's he think he's doing?
38
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:55,540
Well, he's obviously checking
on something.
39
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:59,740
Bodies. If it's bodies,
I don't want to know.
40
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,000
Why should it be bodies? Why
should he be looking for bodies?
41
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:09,220
Some people do. Look at all the
old Egyptians they keep digging up.
42
00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:14,260
Well, they won't find
many Egyptians round here.
43
00:04:17,180 --> 00:04:22,360
He's got no shovels any road. I'm
always wary of people with shovels.
44
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:26,320
Before you know it,
they've got you digging.
45
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:34,880
Interesting area -
full of possibilities.
46
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,440
There's Nora Batty for a start.
47
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,780
We wondered
what you were looking for.
48
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:44,200
And wondering
if we could be of any assistance.
49
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,460
Make sure he hasn't got a shovel.
50
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:50,160
Well, you could get me down
from this wall.
51
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,440
Er, look, put your foot on him.
Why me?
52
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,100
Well, somehow you're more suitable.
53
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:06,100
Would you hold the instrument? Do
be careful. It's my own invention.
54
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,940
What is it?
55
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:15,300
What is it? It's brilliant, that's
what it is. And they said I was mad.
56
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:19,140
Who said tha were mad?
Mainly our Derek.
57
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:21,980
I think I'm with their Derek.
58
00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:24,480
He hates me being brilliant.
59
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,440
Yeah, people do. I've noticed that.
60
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,120
It looks like a cuckoo clock.
61
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:34,080
That's just what our Derek said.
Technical cretin!
62
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,820
It's a magnetometer. I knew it!
63
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:41,600
Immediately I saw if I said
to myself - that is a Uttoxeter.
64
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,080
What's it for?
65
00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:52,740
Are we alone? Alone?
66
00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:56,780
There are four of us.
We're nearly a small crowd.
67
00:05:56,780 --> 00:06:01,360
Especially him. He's nearly a
small crowd on his own. I am, Norm.
68
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,560
Chatter, chatter.
Let the man continue!
69
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,640
What my magnetometer is for...
70
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:12,400
and I tell you this
in the strictest confidence.
71
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,760
Oh, rest easy...
72
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:18,380
..security is a byword with me.
73
00:06:18,380 --> 00:06:23,200
It's a device that I have perfected
over a number of years
74
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,960
for locating the hidden forces.
75
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,180
Not bodies?
76
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,980
It's nothing to do with bodies.
77
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:36,220
And tha don't need a shovel?
Ignore them. Please go on.
78
00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:42,900
What kind of hidden forces?
The mysterious forces which underlie the universe.
79
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:45,880
Oh! Council taxes.
80
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,240
No. I mean the hidden energies.
81
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,720
The powers. Where the lines flow.
82
00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:57,760
The magnetic hot spots.
83
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:02,200
Just a minute. How does tha know
when tha's found em?
84
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,600
Because this thing
gives off a signal.
85
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,300
Oh!
86
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:11,960
Well, could you give us
a demonstration? Oh, certainly.
87
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,560
LOUD, HIGH-PITCHED WHINE
88
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:24,560
They go every year.
And back she comes looking brown.
89
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,120
She goes everywhere looking brown.
90
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:33,400
She never has a minute.
She has so many places to go to - JUST to look brown.
91
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,040
He never took
his first wife anywhere.
92
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:40,660
Well, I say anywhere,
I think they went to Blackpool.
93
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:45,680
People should have more respect for
each other than to go to Blackpool!
94
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:50,040
My Wally once took me
in the motorbike and sidecar.
95
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:54,040
Ah, well, yes,
in those days you DID.
96
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,640
People DID go to Blackpool.
97
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,820
We went up the tower.
98
00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:03,400
I remember
my Wally got quite excited.
99
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,340
Your Wally was excited?
100
00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:07,760
Yes.
101
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:12,320
Well, he found he could see
where he'd parked his motorbike.
102
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:19,380
Ah-ha! Now, if tha's looking
for personal magnetism,
103
00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:23,800
here's someone
that will get tha dynamo going.
104
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,500
Keep away! Get away!
105
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,060
Can I borrow your Uttoxeter?
106
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:37,760
What have you got? What is it?
107
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,220
Oooh, I've got something here.
108
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,640
Go and sit down!
109
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,640
Ouch.
110
00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:50,320
Magnetism comes
in big lumps round here.
111
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,680
Fetch your father in.
112
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,540
Oh, just a minute! Put that down.
113
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:05,760
Oh, Mother! I'm surprised
you let me father in to sleep!
114
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,860
Oh, he's all right. He's used to it.
115
00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:13,640
In fact, these days, he isn't comfy
unless he's standing on newspaper.
116
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,580
Weslah!
117
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,660
Weslah!
118
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,940
WESLEY! Get yourself in!
119
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,580
HIGH-PITCHED WHINE OF MACHINE
120
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:47,440
Did you see them?
Which way did they go?
121
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,680
Oh, no problem!
122
00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,140
That way!
123
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,140
Stand there. And don't move.
124
00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:05,420
Where?
There.
125
00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:08,740
Page three.
That'll do.
126
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:12,440
I could do with a change sometimes.
It was on page three yesterday.
127
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:17,820
Now, listen and pay attention -
this afternoon is the church outing.
128
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:20,440
I know.
I'm looking forward to it.
129
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,220
It's the one time
I get some peace.
130
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:24,780
Hard lines, Father.
131
00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:27,280
And you're going!
132
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,280
I'm going?!
133
00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:43,810
I reckon he's barmy.
134
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,590
In the nicest possible way.
135
00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:51,090
The older you get,
the more you appreciate barmy.
136
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,950
He's not doing it systematically.
137
00:10:53,950 --> 00:10:57,630
Can you go barmy systematically?
138
00:10:59,270 --> 00:11:02,030
I can't bear to see inefficiency.
139
00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:03,910
Hey up!
140
00:11:03,910 --> 00:11:11,330
When it comes to buying a round
I've never met anyone more inefficient at getting money out.
141
00:11:11,330 --> 00:11:14,690
That's not inefficiency,
that is caution.
142
00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:19,110
Unlike you, I don't believe
in throwing money about. Throwing?
143
00:11:19,110 --> 00:11:21,510
Tha hardly gives it a nudge.
144
00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:28,010
Nothing.
Very low on magnetism round here.
145
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:30,870
Hey up! Speak for tha self.
146
00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:36,010
If you wouldn't mind
a little professional advice...
147
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:39,030
He sounds just like our Derek.
148
00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:44,270
Maybe I shouldn't ask, but...
149
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:50,190
what happens when you find
a centre of magnetism? You form a power circle.
150
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,030
I knew I shouldn't have asked.
151
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:56,870
No. I'm interested in power.
152
00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:59,130
What kind of a circle?
153
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:04,170
You hold hands in a circle,
distributing the power.
154
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:07,590
Like "ring a ring o' roses,
all fall down"?
155
00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:13,190
Not like "ring a ring o' roses,
all fall down". It's a power circle.
156
00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:18,510
I'm not holding hands with people.
157
00:12:19,510 --> 00:12:21,990
I'm a trained killer.
158
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:26,810
What are people gonna think if they
see me holding hands with people?
159
00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:31,110
They'll think you're
a very friendly trained killer.
160
00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:37,910
I'd never be invited to the
regimental reunions ever again.
161
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:44,170
The regular driver's off sick
so you will have to drive the bus.
162
00:12:44,170 --> 00:12:49,030
Cheer up. It's only a church outing.
It's not like being called up.
163
00:12:49,030 --> 00:12:52,350
It feels like
I've been called up for something.
164
00:12:52,350 --> 00:12:56,390
Oh, if it feels like that, yes,
you've been conscripted!
165
00:12:56,390 --> 00:13:00,430
By 12 o'clock, I want you
in a presentable condition.
166
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:05,550
Though looking at the state of you,
that'll take some time. Start now!
167
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:10,310
I'm halfway through an engine.
We can see that. Half of it's on your overalls.
168
00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:14,350
So, get 'em off!
And let's have you in that bath!
169
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:18,990
It's terrible what can happen
when you least expect it.
170
00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:25,510
The circle
has always been a source of power.
171
00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:29,350
It were the back row of the stalls
when I were a lad.
172
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:35,050
Throughout history
primitive man used to dance and go round in circles.
173
00:13:35,050 --> 00:13:39,530
And modern man
is still going round in circles.
174
00:13:39,530 --> 00:13:44,270
But why do we have to hold hands?
To complete the circle.
175
00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:50,770
But holding hands doesn't appeal
instantly to the military mind.
176
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:53,510
I mean, dammit, it's not natural.
177
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:57,190
I mean, hands are for chopping,
and strangling.
178
00:13:57,190 --> 00:14:01,310
And trying to open items
sealed in plastic.
179
00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:05,990
Right! Now tha's found a place
for the Uttoxeter... Magnetometer!
180
00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:08,270
All right, please tha self.
181
00:14:08,270 --> 00:14:12,790
We've formed a circle,
we're holding hands, then what?
182
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:16,970
Your system gets flooded
with the power.
183
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:21,930
Well, his won't. It'll flood
through the holes in his trousers.
184
00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:25,790
He'll have
his wellies flooded with power.
185
00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:30,230
I hope it won't interfere
with my prospects of marriage.
186
00:14:30,230 --> 00:14:35,850
It's something that happens
internally at the molecular level.
187
00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:40,150
Oh, the old molecular level.
188
00:14:40,150 --> 00:14:43,010
You'll not feel a thing.
189
00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:48,070
So we're standing there flooded
with power at the molecular level...
190
00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:50,650
What's it supposed to do?
191
00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:54,110
Well - and you can laugh
as much as you like -
192
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:58,870
I'm telling you this is good
for general debility, rheumatism,
193
00:14:58,870 --> 00:15:02,510
hair loss and warts.
194
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:08,270
Did anybody with general debility,
rheumatism, hair loss and warts
195
00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:11,910
ought to be
holding hands with people?
196
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:17,870
Has tha got owt
for picking the gee-gees?
197
00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:24,630
I can't speak any louder.
198
00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:27,430
I shouldn't be speaking at all.
199
00:15:27,430 --> 00:15:32,390
Sometimes I terrify myself
with how reckless I am.
200
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:39,150
I suppose I've always been the type
to throw caution to the wind.
201
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:41,950
DOOR CLICKS
202
00:15:59,110 --> 00:16:00,910
Well?
203
00:16:02,490 --> 00:16:05,810
What are you doing
dressed like that?
204
00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:12,530
Well, it's quite obvious
you like "dressed like that". So, right, get your coat.
205
00:16:12,530 --> 00:16:15,070
Wh-wh-wh-where are we going?
206
00:16:15,070 --> 00:16:20,190
You're taking me out. You're going
to be seen out with ME for a change.
207
00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:24,710
You can't go out like that!
You're a married woman!
208
00:16:24,710 --> 00:16:28,550
Oh, it embarrasses you
when I do it, does it?
209
00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:31,110
Yes, it does.
Well, tough!
210
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:33,190
Get your coat!
211
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:50,410
Will it hurt? It doesn't hurt!
212
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,930
Not even at a molecular level?
It doesn't hurt!
213
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:58,990
Do I look the type who'd go around
inflicting pain? Except on our Derek.
214
00:16:58,990 --> 00:17:03,190
You don't mind pain, do you?
I DO. I really dislike pain.
215
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:07,950
When you've been wounded as often
as I have, you get used to it.
216
00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:14,710
I want a cast-iron guarantee
this is not going to interfere with my sexual magnetism.
217
00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:24,010
Hey up. You can break that up.
I'm not having that in here. Out!
218
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:28,070
This is a friendly pub,
but not that friendly. Out!
219
00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:43,910
When I said we were going for a walk
together, I meant TOGETHER.
220
00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:47,890
Together means being TOGETHER!
221
00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:50,670
I wish you'd get something on.
222
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:55,050
You're not embarrassed
when it's somebody else, are you?
223
00:17:55,050 --> 00:18:00,030
I don't know what you mean.
Somebody with skirts up to her nostrils.
224
00:18:00,030 --> 00:18:02,570
I don't know anyone like that.
225
00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:05,590
How do, Howard.
Hello, Eli.
226
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:07,910
How do, Marina.
227
00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:37,330
There he goes again. No system.
228
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:42,670
I don't know. He's doing all the
walking, I'm here on a park bench.
229
00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:47,330
That's not a bad system. THAT
is a system I can really handle.
230
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:51,370
Get your feet off.
People sit on that bench.
231
00:18:51,370 --> 00:18:54,050
Give over, pigeons crap all over it.
232
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,910
The last thing
tha need worry about are my feet.
233
00:18:57,910 --> 00:19:05,330
Well, I don't know though. If it's
a choice between pigeon poo and your feet, that's a tough decision.
234
00:19:05,330 --> 00:19:10,110
Well, it's not tough for me,
I'll go for the pigeons every time.
235
00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:19,890
I'm wasting me time here.
It's a magnetic desert.
236
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:24,050
I'm beginning to think
Yorkshire's got a flat battery.
237
00:19:24,050 --> 00:19:28,890
Well, you're not covering enough
ground. It's too much for one man.
238
00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:33,670
Now, if the four of us linked up,
we'd cover four times the ground.
239
00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:46,030
You call THIS together?
240
00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:48,810
I-I-It's nearly together.
241
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:51,570
It's going to be
nearlier together.
242
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:53,610
Hold me 'and!
243
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:57,950
You can't walk about in public
holding your wife's hand.
244
00:19:57,950 --> 00:20:00,670
I don't see why not!
245
00:20:03,150 --> 00:20:05,950
I-I-It's not civilised!
246
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:10,390
I-I-It's very unusual.
You'd better get used to it.
247
00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:14,350
Nobody round here
walks about holding hands.
248
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:31,330
I never felt easy
with her choice of wallpaper.
249
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:35,370
It was him I used to notice.
He used to stare!
250
00:20:35,370 --> 00:20:38,430
They say
he's good with a strimmer.
251
00:20:38,430 --> 00:20:43,190
I'd have made him sit facing the
wall. When we had visitors anyway...
252
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,990
What's Edie doing with Wesley?
253
00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:54,670
Lift your legs, lift your legs!
254
00:20:57,150 --> 00:20:59,710
It feels funny.
255
00:20:59,710 --> 00:21:04,470
Of course it feels funny. It's
a suit. You're allergic to suits.
256
00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:09,310
Whatever's the matter
with Wesley?
257
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:14,110
It's not Wesley, it's the suit. Keep
walking! Who said to stop walking?
258
00:21:18,350 --> 00:21:22,690
It's so long since he had it on,
it's lost its circulation.
259
00:21:22,690 --> 00:21:25,390
Keep walking, it needs the exercise.
260
00:21:34,510 --> 00:21:39,050
HIGH-PITCHED WHINE
I've got one! It's here!
261
00:21:39,050 --> 00:21:41,990
Oh, it's here! I've got one.
262
00:21:41,990 --> 00:21:45,810
There's one here.
Make a note of where we are.
263
00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:49,990
One day soon
people will be flocking round here.
264
00:21:49,990 --> 00:21:52,850
They'll build a great sanatorium.
265
00:21:52,850 --> 00:21:56,170
For warts? And general debilities.
266
00:21:56,170 --> 00:22:01,430
I could be in line for the Nobel
Prize. Oh, that'll stuff our Derek.
267
00:22:01,430 --> 00:22:05,570
He's been unbearable
since they got the Toyota.
268
00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:08,910
Can we go now?
I've got a new polish to try.
269
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:11,790
Go? We may be onto something here.
270
00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:16,790
That is, if the man is certain he's
found something. Try it yourself.
271
00:22:16,790 --> 00:22:19,590
Oh, right, thank you.
272
00:22:33,690 --> 00:22:36,230
HIGH-PITCHED WHINE
273
00:22:40,270 --> 00:22:45,270
It's there all right. You know,
I had an instinct it would be here.
274
00:22:45,270 --> 00:22:47,550
Tha didn't have a clue.
275
00:22:47,550 --> 00:22:53,350
We need a circle.
We need to form a power circle.
276
00:22:53,350 --> 00:22:58,410
What, round that lot? How are the
four of us gonna surround that lot?
277
00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:01,390
Ah, well, I have a solution.
278
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:05,790
We're going to need more people.
279
00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:10,210
How do you invite strangers
to hold hands with you?
280
00:23:10,210 --> 00:23:14,910
If tha does it right, petal,
tha won't be strangers for long.
281
00:23:14,910 --> 00:23:19,830
It's a scientific experiment and if
it's conducted with precision.
282
00:23:19,830 --> 00:23:22,290
And if it cures rheumatism.
283
00:23:22,290 --> 00:23:27,490
And warts. We're not only looking
for strangers to hold hands with...
284
00:23:27,490 --> 00:23:31,470
NOW we're looking
for strangers with warts.
285
00:23:39,090 --> 00:23:41,470
I can't go on, Howard.
286
00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:49,750
Have you got a puncture, love?
287
00:23:49,750 --> 00:23:52,230
Only in my heart, Howard!
288
00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:59,230
I hope the air
isn't leaking out of THAT!
289
00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:03,270
You've wounded me, Howard.
Me?! Yes, you!
290
00:24:03,270 --> 00:24:07,690
Just cos you've got a moustache,
don't be like Errol Flynn.
291
00:24:07,690 --> 00:24:10,470
I don't even own a sword.
292
00:24:10,470 --> 00:24:15,190
You've been toying with me.
Toying with you?
293
00:24:15,190 --> 00:24:17,970
We never have time for a toy!
294
00:24:17,970 --> 00:24:20,950
Not even a dinky toy!
295
00:24:23,850 --> 00:24:28,230
You were seen holding hands
with a woman in a miniskirt.
296
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:33,330
That was Pearl!
297
00:24:33,330 --> 00:24:36,110
I wasn't born yesterday, Howard.
298
00:24:37,470 --> 00:24:39,950
Not that I'm that old.
299
00:24:42,210 --> 00:24:45,670
How are we going to find anybody
out here?
300
00:24:45,670 --> 00:24:50,290
Well, we'll stop cars as they pass.
Oh, they'll enjoy that.
301
00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:52,770
How do you stop cars?
302
00:24:52,770 --> 00:24:59,030
You stand in the road
looking like you mean business and put your hand up.
303
00:24:59,030 --> 00:25:01,570
It's a question of dominating.
304
00:25:01,570 --> 00:25:05,050
Sounds like a question
of getting run over.
305
00:25:05,050 --> 00:25:11,650
How many people
do we need for this circle? To cover that, we'd need about 40.
306
00:25:11,650 --> 00:25:14,190
Some hope of finding 40 people here.
307
00:25:14,190 --> 00:25:20,190
The last time there were 40 people
out here, it was the Vikings.
308
00:25:29,390 --> 00:25:33,410
What's this lot doing here?
It's our church outing.
309
00:25:33,410 --> 00:25:37,850
He ran the bus off the road.
I didn't run the bus off the road.
310
00:25:37,850 --> 00:25:42,710
It was this suit. I was trying to
turn right and the suit turned left!
311
00:25:47,190 --> 00:25:52,570
It's providence. Fate. You wanted
40 people - there's 40 people here.
312
00:25:52,570 --> 00:25:55,730
Er, now, er, ladies...
313
00:25:55,730 --> 00:26:00,110
could you form up
in ranks of three, please. Three?
314
00:26:00,110 --> 00:26:04,130
Would you just...
left marker here. That's right.
315
00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:08,210
Other ladies here, three
at a time, please. Come along.
316
00:26:08,210 --> 00:26:10,950
Right-o! Attention!
317
00:26:10,950 --> 00:26:13,510
By the left! Quick march!
318
00:26:38,090 --> 00:26:40,150
May I?
319
00:26:40,150 --> 00:26:45,150
Now, ladies... Ladies, if I could
have your attention, please?
320
00:26:45,150 --> 00:26:47,730
On my signal...
321
00:26:47,730 --> 00:26:50,710
I would like you all to join hands!
322
00:26:54,970 --> 00:26:59,390
I wonder if he's got any cure
for THIS little wart!
323
00:26:59,390 --> 00:27:04,230
I haven't seen you on the church
outing before. Er...no, no.
324
00:27:04,230 --> 00:27:07,090
You want to come more often. Yes.
325
00:27:07,090 --> 00:27:09,310
He's a bit shy.
326
00:27:09,310 --> 00:27:13,690
You'll be all right with us, love.
We're very friendly.
327
00:27:13,690 --> 00:27:17,570
Right, now.
Has anybody got any questions?
328
00:27:17,570 --> 00:27:20,230
Why don't we get a move on?
329
00:27:21,310 --> 00:27:25,090
As soon as our man
has found the centre.
330
00:27:25,090 --> 00:27:29,710
Give us your hand.
It's been a day for surprises!
331
00:27:29,710 --> 00:27:33,330
When we get back,
you're going for a new suit!
332
00:27:33,330 --> 00:27:39,090
What do I want a new suit for?
You need one that doesn't turn left.
333
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:43,450
Can I have your attention?
Can we have your attention?
334
00:27:43,450 --> 00:27:48,570
All right, ladies, close up
the circle. Close up the circle.
335
00:27:48,570 --> 00:27:51,550
He's worse than our Derek!
336
00:27:55,370 --> 00:27:58,050
HIGH-PITCHED WHINE
337
00:28:14,090 --> 00:28:17,430
It works!
That cured his rheumatism!
338
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:22,030
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