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1
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,600
Can I use your phone? Do you have
to ask? Of course you can use it.
2
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:25,620
DIALS NUMBER
3
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:29,020
Hello. Is that the dating agency?
4
00:00:30,220 --> 00:00:34,060
That's right. It's me again.
How did you guess?
5
00:00:34,060 --> 00:00:37,560
..Distinctive voice?
That could be an asset.
6
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,160
Have you got that on my particulars?
7
00:00:41,460 --> 00:00:45,100
Have I had any replies?
..Still nothing.
8
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:50,280
Maybe we're aiming too high. Have you
looked through your ugly file?
9
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,480
Oh, you tried the uglies first.
10
00:00:56,860 --> 00:01:02,040
We're running out of options. There's
still things you can do. Such as?
11
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,900
You can pay me for that phone call.
12
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:07,120
Oh!
13
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,000
Lots of greens when you look.
14
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:52,120
Lots of Smiths and Joneses. It's
gonna be one of those days, is it?
15
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:58,840
I was thinking about death.
As long as you're not in a bad mood.
16
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:03,640
What brought it on was bumping into
Freddy Ridley yesterday.
17
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,680
How is he? He says he's dying.
18
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:09,760
He's been saying that for 20 years.
19
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,980
Obviously the man's serious
about it.
20
00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:17,500
He's toying with the idea
of sneaking away from Mrs Ridley.
21
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:22,600
I bet she wasn't there. He wouldn't
dare mention dying if she was.
22
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:29,560
You're not suggesting he can't die
without her permission?! He never goes anywhere without her permission.
23
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,880
How does he look?
24
00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,640
Like somebody married to Mrs Ridley.
25
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:41,080
Poor lad. Maybe he is dying.
26
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:45,380
He loved her, even at school.
27
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:50,120
Long before she became Mrs Ridley,
she was a Doreen Phelps.
28
00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:56,040
He used to stand with his mouth open
in the playground
29
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,600
watching her doing cartwheels.
30
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,140
Bet she's not done that for a while!
31
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:06,220
The cartwheel queen of class three.
Never stood a chance, did he? No.
32
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:11,280
She'd got him roped and tied before
he'd worn out his first pocket knife.
33
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:18,300
When Doreen tucked her frock into
her knickers, that was her upside down for the rest of playtime!
34
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:21,820
D'you know what's terrifying
about life?
35
00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:28,000
It's the fact that from a carefree,
long-limbed, playful Doreen Phelps...
36
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,940
could emerge a Mrs Ridley.
37
00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:35,860
How could poor old Freddy
ever spot that?
38
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:40,600
Especially when he'd probably
never seen her the right way up.
39
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,840
We think that butterflies go through
strange transformations,
40
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,320
but, wow! Mrs Ridley!
41
00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:03,220
You've got this frightening air
of confidence, Howard.
42
00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:07,060
A girl wonders if she'll be safe.
She will!
43
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:12,100
We'll hear a vehicle coming
for miles. And what we do is this.
44
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:22,100
Any passing motorist who sees
a bicycle in this position will just assume we're mending a puncture.
45
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:25,920
You're so resourceful
in some directions, Howard.
46
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:30,400
It's just a gift. Oh, Howard!
47
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,940
Oh, Marina!
48
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:51,580
How do, Howard! Sorry to see thee
love life's sprung a leak again!
49
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:01,700
Hello! It's overnight express!
50
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:05,580
You don't pull a face like that
without practice!
51
00:05:05,580 --> 00:05:09,900
It can't be from overwork.
That's not much of a load.
52
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:15,100
You should've seen it when I started.
I can't find my last delivery.
53
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:20,080
What are you looking for? If you
must know, I'm looking for love.
54
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:27,020
Don't look at me. I've devoted
my life to idleness and pleasure.
55
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:32,460
And I hold his coat. I'm fed up
of a lonely bachelor existence.
56
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:38,080
It's no good telling us, Smiler!
Save it for people who wear frocks.
57
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,900
I never meet any. When do I ever meet
anybody who wears frocks?!
58
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:47,760
What you need is somebody
who'll overlook all your faults.
59
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,620
You know, somebody really peculiar.
60
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:55,860
Don't give up hope, Smiler. The world
is full of really peculiar people.
61
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,580
How do, lads?
62
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,980
You see? I told you.
63
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:29,320
Oh, Mr Truelove, you have experience
of strange things. At one time, yes,
64
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:34,160
but I divorced it.
My Barry keeps going upside down.
65
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:39,480
My auntie had a budgie did that.
Did they find a reason?
66
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,680
Yes. It was dead.
67
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,580
Oh!
68
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:48,260
You've got a great bedside manner(!)
Come and see for yourselves.
69
00:06:57,980 --> 00:07:01,840
You see? Upside down.
70
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,900
Yes. It looked better with feathers.
71
00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:09,780
How long has your husband been
in the habit of going upside down?
72
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:14,300
I don't know. He only does it
when he thinks I'm not there.
73
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,860
You could ask him why he keeps going
upside down. I daren't.
74
00:07:18,860 --> 00:07:23,360
Suppose it's something fatal
he's trying to shelter me from.
75
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:28,620
His legs are a good colour, not
like the dead legs I used to see.
76
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:44,080
Barry, why were you upside down?!
77
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:48,620
Why are you bringing people round
to see me upside down?!
78
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:53,140
What will I tell me mother?!
Do you have to tell her?
79
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:57,160
Don't you think she'll notice
if you're upside down?
80
00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:02,500
I don't like interfering
in people's marital problems.
81
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:06,460
Agreed. Although I must admit,
that's a new one.
82
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:26,440
You've got faces like sore feet!
83
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,520
Have you considered taking
your business somewhere else?
84
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:37,140
Is there no good woman
who could ease the loneliness of a still relatively young man?
85
00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:40,020
In your case, probably not.
86
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:46,060
YOUNG man?!
I could dye me hair, do meself up a bit.
87
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:48,460
A LOT would be better.
88
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:53,060
Anyway, what's he depressed for?
89
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:57,020
Depressed?!
I'm too depressed to be depressed.
90
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,700
I passed depressed ages ago.
91
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:05,240
Me whole world's
just been demolished.
92
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,760
You know my associate - Mrs Avery?
93
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:11,780
Dotes on me, lives for me,
can't get enough of me.
94
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:14,300
She's just thrown me out.
95
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:27,480
- You can take that out!
- I can't. They get nicked.
96
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:31,380
There's a bond grows
between a man and his mount.
97
00:09:31,380 --> 00:09:36,860
Why have you got ONE roller skate?
Aren't they supposed to be a pair?
98
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:40,820
Lean it up in that corner...gently!
99
00:09:40,820 --> 00:09:43,760
And don't scratch me paintwork!
100
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,220
They'll be coming in
on motorcycles next!
101
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:56,060
You'd think anybody with a face
like that would have it surgically removed. ..What's up with them?
102
00:09:56,060 --> 00:10:01,420
His world's collapsed and he wants
something to ease his loneliness.
103
00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:06,560
They need a pair of scooters.
What are you doing on a scooter?!
104
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,100
I'm in training for a challenge.
105
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:09,180
Some big-gob down our street
needs to learn who's numero uno at scooter handling.
106
00:10:09,180 --> 00:10:15,560
Never liked the wife, either.
Her tongue can give you second-degree burns!
107
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,200
Here. Get that down you, lad.
108
00:10:29,180 --> 00:10:33,540
Can I ask you something...personal?
Ask away, lad.
109
00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:38,100
Did either of you ever have
midlife crisis?
110
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,820
They hadn't been invented then.
111
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:43,380
Besides, we couldn't afford them.
112
00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:47,920
We had to make do with
occasionally coming out in a rash.
113
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,040
At least there were no counsellors.
We just had ointment.
114
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:57,020
Do we gather that you're
in the middle of a midlife crisis?
115
00:10:57,020 --> 00:10:59,720
I am. I am. It's terrible.
116
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,700
That's why I keep going upside down.
117
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:07,620
It's yoga. I'm trying to
gain control of me inner self.
118
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:11,440
You mean it's running round loose
in there?!
119
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,360
Should you be upside down if it is?
120
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:19,840
I used to be steady and now I've got
a head full of disturbing fantasies.
121
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:24,660
Are you ready for this?
Ask him to bleep out the worst bits.
122
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:27,200
What kind of fantasies, lad?
123
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:32,240
Me life feels slow. I get these
urges for life in the fast lane.
124
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,480
And yoga's supposed to stop this?
They say it does.
125
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,380
If you concentrate,
you can empty your mind.
126
00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:43,400
Have you tried daytime television?
127
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:50,380
And why does this concentrating
have to be upside down? Oh, that's just one position.
128
00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:55,580
There are dozens, but some are
so alien to occidental legs,
129
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:58,360
you could strain yourself mortally.
130
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,220
At least I can manage upside down.
131
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:13,490
You see some funny positions in
the vice squad, but I've never heard a defence plea of yoga.
132
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:18,110
THEY PANT
133
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:23,490
Who's feeling better? There's
nothing like moving a bit nimbly,
134
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:28,430
especially when you've eaten
a hot chip. How do you feel now?
135
00:12:28,430 --> 00:12:30,970
Terrible. Hate it.
136
00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:36,170
I don't know where Robin Hood found
his merry men, but it wasn't here!
137
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:47,350
Shop!
Just a minute!
138
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:53,790
It'll do thee good to have
a bit of contact with un-depressed, normal human beings.
139
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:06,530
You call that normal?!
You hear about these funny pubs. Didn't used to be THIS funny!
140
00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:15,710
Is it some secret ceremony? Does it
involve the sacrifice of a barmaid?
141
00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:19,870
It's Barry. He's in midlife crisis.
142
00:13:19,870 --> 00:13:22,790
I know the feeling. And me.
143
00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:29,810
Why is everybody depressed when
we have our health and possibly even somebody who's about to buy a round?
144
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:39,330
If it was money he was after,
you can see why Robin Hood had to go to Nottingham.
145
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:45,930
Keep an eye on the lad if he's going
funny. I wouldn't say funny.
146
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:52,790
If he keeps going upside down,
it's close enough. There's probably a good explanation. Always,
147
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:56,290
but in my experience,
it's usually a lie.
148
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:04,970
You call that not going funny?!
It's not all that funny, Mother.
149
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:08,410
You won't find other grown-ups
on scooters.
150
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:17,590
SHE MOUTHS
151
00:14:21,330 --> 00:14:23,890
CRASH!
152
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:27,330
That's interesting.
A drive-through pub!
153
00:14:32,710 --> 00:14:37,710
Why do people keep bringing me this
load of misery?! Look at them!
154
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:42,690
Barry's in midlife crisis
and he's lost his inner tube.
155
00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:49,170
Inner SELF! I have this urge
to live in the fast lane.
156
00:14:49,170 --> 00:14:52,090
You've just been on a scooter!
157
00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:56,170
What's your excuse?
What's wrong with you?
158
00:14:56,170 --> 00:15:00,610
I'm homeless. I'll be living
in an old garden shed.
159
00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:05,030
Me father lived in an old
garden shed. He lived in a house!
160
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,750
But the decor was old garden shed.
161
00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:12,810
I think all this misery
could've started with Smiler.
162
00:15:12,810 --> 00:15:15,810
Maybe Smiler's become contagious.
163
00:15:18,110 --> 00:15:24,090
Smiler, the authorities will have to
class you as an notifiable disease.
164
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:29,530
My trouble is I'm fed up of living
alone. Could I make a suggestion?
165
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,850
Not if it's from the fast lane.
166
00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:38,750
Mr Simmonite's homeless
and Smiler's fed up of living alone,
167
00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:44,470
so why don't they...?
I'd sooner have the old garden shed!
168
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:48,190
I was thinking of a female
moving in with me.
169
00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:53,190
Tom could get you one of those.
Is he any good with the ladies?
170
00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:56,890
He's the number-one bird puller
in the area.
171
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:59,430
Who was telling me that recently?
172
00:15:59,430 --> 00:16:03,250
Probably Tom. It's just a gift.
173
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:08,550
Why don't you fetch your things, Tom?
174
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:12,510
We'll have a bachelor pad -
just the two of us.
175
00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:15,030
You can bring your lady friends.
176
00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:17,890
You realise it'd only be temporary.
177
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:22,290
Absolutely. You'll have to go
as soon as Mrs Right come along.
178
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:27,470
Well, that's two sorted.
What about him?
179
00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:31,930
At the risk of seeming to pry,
which, of course, I am,
180
00:16:31,930 --> 00:16:35,370
what have you got your mind set on,
Barry?
181
00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:40,350
I thought I was happy until I saw...
182
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:43,410
her. I knew it!
183
00:16:43,410 --> 00:16:50,710
Oh, dear!
Wanting two women is like wanting pneumonia twice!
184
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,230
What's she like, this, er...?
185
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:58,810
I'll show you a picture. They've
got as far as swapping pictures!
186
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:04,370
Look at that. Look at them lines.
Isn't she beautiful?
187
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:07,110
Oh.
188
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:11,950
She's a relief, is what she is!
We thought she was a female.
189
00:17:11,950 --> 00:17:17,070
She is a female. You can't think
she's a male with lines like that.
190
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,670
You're a good lad, Barry.
191
00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:24,170
I'm not. I'm being unfaithful
to a great little car.
192
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:27,790
I've got this terrible urge
for something faster.
193
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:32,370
I must get on. I'm in training
for this challenge match.
194
00:17:32,370 --> 00:17:37,010
What match? To show some big-gob
who's best man on a scooter.
195
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:40,130
Your wife's taken up scooting,
has she?
196
00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:43,850
No. Some other big-gob.
197
00:18:19,710 --> 00:18:22,170
Is this what you're looking for?
198
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:28,290
Barry? What's wrong with Barry?
199
00:18:28,290 --> 00:18:32,490
Midlife crisis.
He wants to live in the fast lane.
200
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:36,050
The Barry that's married
to my Glenda?!
201
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:38,610
Sounds like a fair description.
202
00:18:38,610 --> 00:18:43,710
The newsflash is he's developing
this lust for speed. Our Barry?!
203
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:48,750
We thought you might come up with
something that'd put him off speed.
204
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:51,210
It's funny you should say that.
205
00:18:56,210 --> 00:19:00,030
How about this? He's done that.
Not impressed.
206
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:02,570
He's not done this one.
207
00:19:02,570 --> 00:19:06,070
This one's got a motor on it.
Is she fast?
208
00:19:06,070 --> 00:19:10,590
Don't ask me. I've been waiting
for some idiot to try it.
209
00:19:10,590 --> 00:19:15,010
You've got one in the family!
Could be just the thing.
210
00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:20,630
How do I know you're any good
at pulling the birds?
211
00:19:20,630 --> 00:19:23,210
How do I know you can cook?
212
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:27,590
Don't spoil our relationship
with this suspicious nature.
213
00:19:27,590 --> 00:19:30,650
Well, I've only got your word for it.
214
00:19:30,650 --> 00:19:35,970
You want a demonstration? First bird
that comes round that corner.
215
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:44,290
Well, maybe the second bird
that comes round that corner.
216
00:19:44,290 --> 00:19:48,350
No. No backing out now.
You said the first.
217
00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:52,850
Let's see you in action.
Oh, you drive a hard bargain.
218
00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:04,590
(All right!)
219
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:11,890
I couldn't help but notice
how beautiful you are...
220
00:20:11,890 --> 00:20:14,570
Oh, Tom!
221
00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:31,130
Looks like you might not need
your bicycle.
222
00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:39,990
But you used to love this car.
That was the old me.
223
00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:43,530
This car's too comfortable, safe,
reliable.
224
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:48,970
I want the motoring equivalent of
a wild stallion, muscle and danger.
225
00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:53,410
But, Barry, I like the old you.
That's tough, kid.
226
00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:58,630
You'll have to get used to the new
me, the fast-lane me. Oh, Barry!
227
00:20:58,630 --> 00:21:05,470
I knew things were going wrong
when you wouldn't wear those new flannelette pyjamas.
228
00:21:05,470 --> 00:21:07,890
ENGINE REVS
229
00:21:07,890 --> 00:21:10,510
D'you think it might be dangerous?
230
00:21:10,510 --> 00:21:13,170
Oh, aye, it might be dangerous.
231
00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:17,130
Wesley's very calm
in the face of danger.
232
00:21:18,330 --> 00:21:21,690
I'm an engineer. We're noted for it.
233
00:21:21,690 --> 00:21:26,710
You're quite prepared to let your
son-in-law test this machine?
234
00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:30,810
Sooner him than me.
Well, if he lives for speed...
235
00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:33,010
If he lives!
236
00:21:40,070 --> 00:21:43,970
Wow! That Marina - she's dangerous.
237
00:21:48,310 --> 00:21:50,890
More dangerous than this?
238
00:21:52,370 --> 00:21:55,810
You must be joking.
That's a pussycat!
239
00:21:56,910 --> 00:22:00,630
How would you like to road-test
this pussycat?
240
00:22:00,630 --> 00:22:04,410
After what I've just gone through,
no problem.
241
00:22:14,070 --> 00:22:16,790
You've got one or two nice pieces.
242
00:22:16,790 --> 00:22:19,610
Are you buying, or just admiring?
243
00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:24,450
Have you ever tried bringing your
prices into line with reasonableness?
244
00:22:24,450 --> 00:22:27,970
I tried it when I was young
and stupid.
245
00:22:27,970 --> 00:22:33,510
I won't tell you what I tried when
I was young and stupid. I've heard.
246
00:22:33,510 --> 00:22:35,890
Oh, really?
247
00:22:38,010 --> 00:22:42,730
Have you anything to take my Barry's
mind off fast machines?
248
00:22:42,730 --> 00:22:46,650
I'm sorry, love.
I'm fresh out of other women.
249
00:22:46,650 --> 00:22:51,470
Mind you, if demand picks up,
I suppose I could arrange something.
250
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:55,830
I didn't know your Barry was one
for fast machines.
251
00:22:55,830 --> 00:22:59,890
I didn't either.
He's having a midlife crisis.
252
00:22:59,890 --> 00:23:03,970
And all he's interested in
is fast machines?
253
00:23:03,970 --> 00:23:07,830
Believe me,
it could be a lot worse, love.
254
00:23:07,830 --> 00:23:12,470
Have you ever thought of giving him
a bit of competition?
255
00:23:12,470 --> 00:23:17,250
How would he feel if you suddenly
became interested in speed?
256
00:23:25,010 --> 00:23:30,570
Why can't I do it? It's your turn in
a minute. Completely reckless, him!
257
00:23:30,570 --> 00:23:34,650
That's the way life's going to be
from now on.
258
00:23:34,650 --> 00:23:40,250
Now, Tom, make it look frightening
and dangerous. Put our Barry off.
259
00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:45,290
What d'you mean, make it LOOK
dangerous?! It IS dangerous!
260
00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:50,930
You caught me at a weak moment, when
I was still giddy from no Marina.
261
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:56,030
Stop before you get to the stream.
I'd already decided that.
262
00:23:56,030 --> 00:24:01,710
Is he gonna do it, or are we gonna
be here all day?! Oh, listen to it!
263
00:24:01,710 --> 00:24:04,370
Any last wishes, Tom?
264
00:24:05,430 --> 00:24:08,290
Yes. I wish Barry was doing it!
265
00:24:08,290 --> 00:24:13,370
I'll do it! Come 'ere.
He's only joking, Tom.
266
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:15,850
ENGINE STARTS
267
00:24:27,790 --> 00:24:31,530
Looks like fun, Barry. I can't wait.
268
00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:38,230
I know it's not easy to forecast,
but is Tom going to go in the water?
269
00:24:38,230 --> 00:24:41,530
He'll stop before he gets there.
Oh.
270
00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:51,930
He got that bit wrong, didn't he?
271
00:24:53,270 --> 00:24:55,850
Looks like it's time for the A Team.
272
00:24:58,490 --> 00:25:01,050
I can't go out like this!
273
00:25:01,050 --> 00:25:05,290
Wear your helmet.
Who's gonna recognise you?
274
00:25:05,290 --> 00:25:08,950
She no longer looks like
the average housewife.
275
00:25:08,950 --> 00:25:13,410
You'll certainly get
Barry's attention this time.
276
00:25:13,410 --> 00:25:18,070
Do you think so, Auntie Roz?
I'll stake my reputation on it.
277
00:25:18,070 --> 00:25:20,530
Can't you do better than that?!
278
00:25:29,150 --> 00:25:34,690
He's gonna go through the stream and
up the other side. He's determined.
279
00:25:34,690 --> 00:25:38,650
Not to mention crackers.
ENGINE REVS
280
00:25:53,430 --> 00:25:57,710
Glenda likes him in one piece.
I hope nothing's come off.
281
00:25:57,710 --> 00:26:00,990
That should've cured him. Cured me?!
282
00:26:00,990 --> 00:26:04,010
It's great! It's just the beginning.
283
00:26:04,010 --> 00:26:07,550
If you don't get it right,
you try again.
284
00:26:07,550 --> 00:26:10,290
I'm gonna be Evil Knievel!
285
00:26:10,290 --> 00:26:15,710
Barry the Bold! I'll shall probably
break every bone in me body!
286
00:26:15,710 --> 00:26:18,730
No, details, please!
HORN HONKS
287
00:26:30,490 --> 00:26:32,630
Glenda?!
288
00:26:32,630 --> 00:26:35,150
I've come to join you, Barry.
289
00:26:35,150 --> 00:26:39,550
You were right.
We'll have a life of speed together,
290
00:26:39,550 --> 00:26:42,930
both of us in the fast lane!
291
00:26:42,930 --> 00:26:48,770
You can't go about dressed like
that! I work for a building society.
292
00:26:48,770 --> 00:26:51,770
But what about speed, Barry?
293
00:26:52,890 --> 00:26:56,850
We'll do it indoors.
I'll buy a train set.
294
00:27:27,970 --> 00:27:30,850
What were you doing with that Tom?
295
00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:34,670
I wasn't doing anything,
except being friendly.
296
00:27:34,670 --> 00:27:37,570
There's such a thing as TOO friendly.
297
00:27:42,710 --> 00:27:46,250
He won't beat me next time,
the big-gob.
298
00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:51,530
He'll cheat if you take your eyes
off him. This man's ready for a pint.
299
00:27:51,530 --> 00:27:56,330
Do I hear two?
It's his legs. You can't fill them.
300
00:27:56,330 --> 00:27:58,850
Any time, Mr Hardcastle.
301
00:28:13,270 --> 00:28:17,730
Subtitles by Neil Gemmill
BBC Scotland - 2002
302
00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:22,330
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