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1
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:08,280
HE HUMS JAUNTILY
2
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:10,980
Howard. Yes, Honey Bun?
3
00:00:10,980 --> 00:00:15,240
You're very chirpy this morning.
You're up to summat.
4
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:21,080
Well, some days you just feel glad
to be alive. I must be slipping.
5
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:26,200
Don't ever change.
I like YOU just the way you are.
6
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,040
CONTINUES TO HUM
7
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,060
Clegg! I must warn you,
I intend to plead not guilty.
8
00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:19,520
Whatever he's done, I have an alibi.
Anyway, he's not here.
9
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:24,280
I know WHERE he is. It's HOW he is
that's worrying me. Is he poorly?
10
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,880
Oh, worse than that. He's cheerful.
11
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,600
There's nothing more sinister
than him being cheerful.
12
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,360
Maybe you could break
his leg or something.
13
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,240
He won't stay still long enough.
14
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:42,260
He's up to summat,
and I wondered if you had anything planned.
15
00:01:42,260 --> 00:01:48,580
Well, I haven't. Especially
if you have to be cheerful. You ought to have married again.
16
00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:52,980
With your gift for unexcitement,
you'd have made a good husband.
17
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:55,760
I don't want to rush into anything.
18
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,000
I see.
19
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:04,000
Well, if he's not up to summat with
you lot, he must have other plans.
20
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:17,760
And how are you
this bonny morning, Cleggy?
21
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,060
Ha-ah! She's right,
you're up to something.
22
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:27,400
They're all going out
on a ladies' outing this afternoon.
23
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,840
I've got the afternoon
completely free. Oh!
24
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,600
Your own little lady's outing.
25
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,280
I wouldn't say that.
26
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:40,600
I thought I might have
a little bicycle ride or something.
27
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,320
I wish you well, Howard.
28
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:50,100
I wish you a fair wind and
a chance meeting with a bicycle that doesn't have a crossbar.
29
00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:52,720
Stranger things have happened.
30
00:02:57,420 --> 00:03:00,100
You're never going to sell this lot.
31
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:05,260
Don't take that negative attitude.
We need some positive thinking.
32
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:09,380
Well, I'm positive
you'll never sell this lot.
33
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:13,740
No wonder your wife let you go
and kept the parrot.
34
00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:18,320
These are wonderful
all-terrain, go-anywhere mopeds.
35
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:24,760
Do you know anyone
who's looking for a wonderful all-terrain, go-anywhere moped?
36
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,400
No, but that's where you come in.
37
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,020
It's your job to go out
and convince people
38
00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:35,620
of the desirability of
all-terrain, go-anywhere mopeds. Me?
39
00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:40,440
You see, you've got it already.
You can be quite quick.
40
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:45,760
I wasn't talking about somebody
else. Sometimes I wish I WAS somebody else.
41
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:51,480
Sometimes I think you've nearly made
it. Oh, regard it as a challenge.
42
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:55,560
Well, get aboard.
Try and look like an enthusiast.
43
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:03,200
Oh, do I HAVE to ride it?
44
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:07,700
Well, I thought it might be
easier than carrying it.
45
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:18,180
Driving's bad enough,
but why do I have to wear a uniform?
46
00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:23,660
No. Let's get more specific. Why do
I have to wear a too-small uniform?
47
00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:28,020
Image is everything. Don't
worry about it, my little love.
48
00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:33,620
You look great.
I'll only get flustered. You've been driving a bus for ever.
49
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:40,160
You were driving a bus
when we met. My own bus. I don't like driving other people's.
50
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,680
Where's SHE going dressed like that?
51
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:47,600
Oh, doesn't she look terrific? That
air of quiet confidence, of command.
52
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,860
This is your captain speaking.
53
00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:55,080
She doesn't look very confident
to me. I get flustered.
54
00:04:55,080 --> 00:05:00,080
This is your captain hesitating.
She exaggerates.
55
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,520
Wearing that?
Has she got room for exaggerating?
56
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,080
I end up not knowing left from right.
57
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:13,280
You've only got two choices,
my little petunia, a good fifty-fifty chance at each junction.
58
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:17,080
That does it.
If there's going to be junctions...
59
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,840
Now turn round for Mrs Batty.
60
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:24,880
She's got a good eye for appearance.
Else she wouldn't wear those hats.
61
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,340
Doesn't she look well, Mrs Batty?
62
00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:31,180
Overall I'd say quite presentable.
63
00:05:31,180 --> 00:05:33,480
I admire how he takes care of you.
64
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,040
It must be nice living with someone
so thoughtful.
65
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,800
Oh, you should do it for him.
66
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,800
Well, why can't HE drive?
67
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,700
Because I shall be toiling away
at my allotment.
68
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:50,680
It's back-breaking, but I know
how much she loves her fresh veg.
69
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,100
Oh, bless him!
70
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,680
I hope he doesn't overdo it.
71
00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:01,040
He won't. Have you seen him
working at his allotment?
72
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,540
Show me your left.
73
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,380
Nearly.
74
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,120
Two teas, please, Ivy.
75
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,640
What's wrong with him? I don't know.
76
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:21,840
I just hope
nobody thinks it's MY cooking.
77
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,400
You've got a face on you, Billy.
78
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,040
The trouble is it's his own.
79
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:32,100
Feller phones me from Bolton.
Owns a chippy. Wears a moustache.
80
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:36,520
You could tell
all this over the phone? He told me.
81
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,840
This stranger rings you up
to tell you he's got a moustache?
82
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:46,080
He phoned me because he'd heard I was
a direct descendant of Robin Hood.
83
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:52,240
Billy, you've become famous
in Bolton, Lancs.
84
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:59,920
He was calling his new place
Robin Hood's Chippy. Could I open it next Tuesday?
85
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,440
Dressed as Robin Hood?
86
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,100
Well, it's not something
you can do out of uniform.
87
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:09,940
I still don't see why he told you
that he'd got a moustache.
88
00:07:09,940 --> 00:07:12,520
Well, it seems damned sinister now,
89
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:18,340
if you can't pick up a phone
without revealing whether you're wearing a moustache.
90
00:07:18,340 --> 00:07:22,380
He said, him and the mayor'd meet me
off the bus.
91
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:26,340
The mayor'd be wearing a chain
and he'd have a moustache.
92
00:07:26,340 --> 00:07:28,740
Which can't be ideal for a chippy,
93
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:32,640
with that under his nose
collecting the frying odours.
94
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:38,500
You're going by bus next Tuesday
dressed as Robin Hood?
95
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,940
I'm not going anywhere.
96
00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:45,880
We were just negotiating whether
the fee would be in halibut or cod,
97
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:51,660
when I heard this giggling
and I realised somebody was taking the wee-wee.
98
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:54,380
Maybe it was the mayor.
99
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,280
They DO take the wee-wee.
100
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:02,500
If you go on buses
dressed as Robin Hood...
101
00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:06,900
I'd have had me anorak over it.
Oh, I see. Plain clothes.
102
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:14,340
If you want to be a direct descendant
of Robin Hood, love, you don't need anybody's permission from Bolton.
103
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:19,060
Ivy's right. Let them pick
their own idiots not start on ours.
104
00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:24,420
It's good to be among friends.
105
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,140
I'm getting quite emotional.
106
00:08:32,814 --> 00:08:35,394
I think I'll take this, Barry.
107
00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:39,814
Oh, Barry, why did you back
into our patio umbrella?
108
00:08:39,814 --> 00:08:44,774
Yeah, I was wondering that.
How many people are taking tables?
109
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,334
We're all taking tables and chairs.
110
00:08:47,334 --> 00:08:50,494
We're not sitting about
on damp grass.
111
00:08:50,494 --> 00:08:56,634
Will it all go in the minibus?
Yes. There'll be plenty of room. It all folds up.
112
00:08:58,754 --> 00:09:03,854
Will you be all right while I'm away?
I don't usually go far without you.
113
00:09:03,854 --> 00:09:06,674
I'll be fine. You monster, Barry!
114
00:09:06,674 --> 00:09:13,434
If you're fine
while I'm away, that means the magic's wearing off of our marriage.
115
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:19,294
You can't wait to see
the back of me. I-I can wait to see the back of you.
116
00:09:19,294 --> 00:09:24,514
No, I'll try to be fine.
I'll try bravely. I'll be pining for you. You will?
117
00:09:24,514 --> 00:09:29,154
All the time. You know I will.
I'll stay, then. I'll not go.
118
00:09:29,154 --> 00:09:34,034
No, you've got to go. Your mother's
expecting you. I'll go.
119
00:09:34,034 --> 00:09:40,794
As long as I'm sure you don't want
me to. I'll try to telephone. Take your mobile.
120
00:09:40,794 --> 00:09:45,154
Yes! I'll get my mobile.
Then you can kiss me goodbye.
121
00:09:45,154 --> 00:09:48,454
On a mobile?
Oh, that won't catch on.
122
00:09:52,494 --> 00:09:54,894
Psst!
123
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:57,574
A newspaper with legs.
124
00:09:59,594 --> 00:10:02,474
It's the Daily Howard.
125
00:10:02,474 --> 00:10:07,174
How did you know it was me?
Oh, just a girl's intuition.
126
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:12,134
And I believe I remember those
socks from a previous occasion.
127
00:10:12,134 --> 00:10:18,054
I don't think we ought to be seen
together. Not this morning, anyway.
128
00:10:18,054 --> 00:10:21,694
But this afternoon
could be different.
129
00:10:21,694 --> 00:10:24,334
We're going for a bicycle ride.
130
00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:27,414
In broad daylight? In broad daylight.
131
00:10:27,414 --> 00:10:30,254
A few sandwiches, a glass of wine.
132
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,294
Oh, Howard!
133
00:10:32,294 --> 00:10:35,134
I shall see your socks again.
134
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:39,614
Oh, Marina.
Are you sure it'll be safe?
135
00:10:39,614 --> 00:10:43,654
All the ladies
are going for a picnic.
136
00:10:43,654 --> 00:10:46,454
Not ALL the ladies, Howard.
137
00:10:46,454 --> 00:10:52,434
There'll be one with you,
hoping that you'll return her in the same condition.
138
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:56,034
Don't I always? Every single time.
139
00:10:56,034 --> 00:11:00,994
Have no fear.
I know exactly where they're going.
140
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:06,154
So we will be in the other
direction. For good or ill.
141
00:11:06,154 --> 00:11:12,134
Do you like
cheese and onion flavour? I thought I'd bring us some crisps.
142
00:11:12,134 --> 00:11:17,774
So that's how it begins! They dangle
these little enticements before you.
143
00:11:18,894 --> 00:11:21,534
Surprise me, Howard.
144
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:29,574
Ooh, I hope it doesn't rain.
It's not going to rain.
145
00:11:29,574 --> 00:11:33,354
You said that last time.
I was misinformed.
146
00:11:33,354 --> 00:11:36,994
I know the feeling.
We've got umbrellas.
147
00:11:36,994 --> 00:11:40,254
We've got everything
except a cellar and an attic.
148
00:11:40,254 --> 00:11:45,394
- Well, we're not romping
on damp grass. - No, those days are over.
149
00:11:45,394 --> 00:11:51,674
Not before time. It's funny how
the things you used to find romantic now just give you arthritis.
150
00:11:51,674 --> 00:11:55,794
When did you feel
romantic with your Howard?
151
00:11:55,794 --> 00:11:58,734
Oh, it were before I met Howard.
152
00:11:58,734 --> 00:12:04,754
Oh, the ones that got away.
I never knew you had a boyfriend before me father.
153
00:12:04,754 --> 00:12:08,774
Well, as long as it wasn't after.
Drink your coffee.
154
00:12:08,774 --> 00:12:14,034
It's me, Barry. I said I'd ring.
No, we haven't got off yet.
155
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,674
We're waiting for the bus...
156
00:12:16,674 --> 00:12:20,254
She's very young.
I think it's sweet.
157
00:12:20,254 --> 00:12:22,934
Pointless, but sweet.
158
00:12:25,714 --> 00:12:30,654
Tom used to travel. He used
to be what he called a free spirit.
159
00:12:30,654 --> 00:12:36,114
Maybe he could advise me. If
I decide to go and live by my wits.
160
00:12:36,114 --> 00:12:39,074
That's not a lot to live on, Billy.
161
00:12:39,074 --> 00:12:44,894
The cheque's in the post. I'd let
you in but I can't control this dog!
162
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,654
FRANTIC BARKING
163
00:12:48,674 --> 00:12:52,814
Billy wants advice
on being a free spirit!
164
00:12:54,814 --> 00:12:58,714
Advice on being a free spirit
can come quite expensive, you know.
165
00:12:58,714 --> 00:13:02,414
I just want a hint or two,
not a degree course.
166
00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:05,094
Come in. We'll negotiate.
167
00:13:11,674 --> 00:13:15,234
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
168
00:13:21,394 --> 00:13:22,474
Hi.
169
00:13:22,474 --> 00:13:27,854
It's me, Barry. Are you all right?
We're just leaving. The bus is here.
170
00:13:27,854 --> 00:13:29,934
You're SURE you're all right?
171
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,874
I'm just going for a game of golf.
172
00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:36,174
Well, of course I'll be careful...
173
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,314
Lightning?
174
00:13:39,314 --> 00:13:41,754
Well, the forecast was good...
175
00:13:42,874 --> 00:13:48,174
No! I don't know any golfer
with his own lightning conductor.
176
00:13:48,174 --> 00:13:50,234
ENGINE STARTS
177
00:13:50,234 --> 00:13:55,034
I'll have to go, Barry. Don't
do anything dangerous. Bye, love.
178
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:58,254
Couldn't you have phoned
from the bus?
179
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:04,434
It's a private conversation.
You shouldn't be saying things that are not fit for your mother to hear.
180
00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:10,814
Are we ready, then?
Can we stop off at my place? Which way's that, then?
181
00:14:10,814 --> 00:14:13,594
Turn left at the end of the street.
182
00:14:16,754 --> 00:14:18,834
Left!
183
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:21,934
Left! LEFT! Sorry.
184
00:14:24,814 --> 00:14:28,494
Truly. Ta. Here.
185
00:14:28,494 --> 00:14:31,934
Ta. Freedom is a mental attitude.
186
00:14:31,934 --> 00:14:34,434
Well, you're halfway there, Billy.
187
00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:38,314
Are you often here
working in the allotments?
188
00:14:38,314 --> 00:14:41,014
Never stops. What's tha growing?
189
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,114
More idle. Apart from that.
190
00:14:44,114 --> 00:14:47,754
Growing? You mean
all that digging and stuff?
191
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:52,754
Are you not expected
to go home occasionally with armloads of vegetables?
192
00:14:52,754 --> 00:14:55,634
Well, yes, but you can buy them.
193
00:14:55,634 --> 00:14:57,094
DOORBELL CHIMES
194
00:14:57,094 --> 00:15:02,534
The cheque's in the post.
It'll only take three days to clear.
195
00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:05,934
Longer, I shouldn't wonder.
196
00:15:05,934 --> 00:15:13,594
They need some encouragement.
It must be dispiriting trying to get money from the likes of me.
197
00:15:13,594 --> 00:15:17,234
I wish he'd said that
before I got the beer.
198
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:20,134
DOORBELL CHIMES AGAIN
199
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:23,474
Grrwolll! Grr-grr!
200
00:15:23,474 --> 00:15:26,014
GROWLING CONTINUES
201
00:15:27,974 --> 00:15:30,834
Hey up! It's Smiler.
202
00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:33,434
Come in, Smiler.
203
00:15:34,694 --> 00:15:38,574
Aww, aww, oh, aww...
204
00:15:42,054 --> 00:15:44,674
What's happened?
205
00:15:44,674 --> 00:15:49,074
You know them
all-terrain, go-anywhere mopeds?
206
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:52,654
I've just found a place
where they WON'T go.
207
00:15:52,654 --> 00:15:55,314
Smells a lot like pig manure.
208
00:15:55,314 --> 00:15:57,914
It IS pig manure.
209
00:15:57,914 --> 00:16:01,534
Me hand slipped
on the throttle, you see.
210
00:16:01,534 --> 00:16:05,654
She shot forward, and
suddenly everything went black.
211
00:16:05,654 --> 00:16:08,254
Well, dark BROWN, anyway.
212
00:16:09,694 --> 00:16:14,954
Hey, what a pity it's so difficult
to package this stuff and sell it.
213
00:16:14,954 --> 00:16:21,154
Oh, I don't know, if we dried it,
sprayed it, put it in a fancy box and went for the health market....
214
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:26,354
Oh, I can't stand here dreaming
of untold wealth and manure.
215
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:32,954
Auntie Wainwright's
got six of them mopeds, and I've still got five more to test.
216
00:16:32,954 --> 00:16:36,454
We could give him a hand.
To do what?
217
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:41,294
To test five
all-terrain, go-anywhere mopeds.
218
00:16:41,294 --> 00:16:43,954
Oh, an afternoon in the hills -
219
00:16:43,954 --> 00:16:46,634
go-anywhere - I like it.
220
00:16:46,634 --> 00:16:49,074
Where you going?
221
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:51,154
Anywhere.
222
00:17:03,914 --> 00:17:07,014
Which way are you ladies heading?
223
00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:08,614
Why?
224
00:17:08,614 --> 00:17:10,854
Well, suppose you get lost.
225
00:17:10,854 --> 00:17:15,714
Get lost, Howard. Suppose
I have to send out a search party?
226
00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:19,314
Oh, I don't like
not knowing where you are.
227
00:17:19,314 --> 00:17:24,594
We've had too many years
together for me not to want to know where you are.
228
00:17:24,594 --> 00:17:26,814
Put the chairs on the bus, Howard.
229
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,754
I want you to be careful.
230
00:17:33,754 --> 00:17:39,694
Just because you think
I'm interested in other women, doesn't mean I don't care.
231
00:17:43,554 --> 00:17:47,014
Get off.
What do you think you're doing?
232
00:17:47,014 --> 00:17:51,414
I just want you to know, kid,
whose property you are.
233
00:17:51,414 --> 00:17:53,854
Wrap up, Howard!
234
00:17:57,094 --> 00:18:01,694
Uh, they're going Maddeley way. You
turn left at the first roundabout.
235
00:18:01,694 --> 00:18:04,014
Left? Oh, damn! Another left.
236
00:18:04,014 --> 00:18:06,354
First left.
237
00:18:14,714 --> 00:18:19,514
I'd off-road test them meself,
but I have to watch the shop.
238
00:18:19,514 --> 00:18:23,434
If you're going to do it,
do it right.
239
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:27,914
They'll do it right. They're
in trained police hands, madam.
240
00:18:27,914 --> 00:18:30,194
Put them through their paces.
241
00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:32,954
Now, are they ready, do you think?
242
00:18:32,954 --> 00:18:38,094
Are they psyched up? Are they ready
for a bit of rugged all-terrain?
243
00:18:38,094 --> 00:18:40,554
We're ready, we're ready.
244
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:43,794
Yeah...HE'S ready.
245
00:18:43,794 --> 00:18:49,914
All very well, but some of us
can't ride 'em on the road. We don't have the licence.
246
00:18:49,914 --> 00:18:54,874
You can ride them off-road.
Who's not got licences?
247
00:18:54,874 --> 00:19:00,934
Well, the others can tow you
as far as Wesley's, and he'll give you a ride in his Landrover.
248
00:19:00,934 --> 00:19:04,714
Now, just remember, a firm hand
249
00:19:04,714 --> 00:19:07,534
but basically, they're pussy cats.
250
00:19:07,534 --> 00:19:09,914
Any questions?
251
00:19:09,914 --> 00:19:13,374
Have you got one
that's been neutered?
252
00:19:18,314 --> 00:19:20,574
Do we turn left here or right?
253
00:19:20,574 --> 00:19:21,994
Right.
254
00:19:24,074 --> 00:19:26,674
No, no! Right.
255
00:19:26,674 --> 00:19:29,754
Right! Go right.
256
00:19:44,194 --> 00:19:47,934
How many times
is that bloke going to pass?
257
00:19:57,514 --> 00:20:02,574
You're getting sneaky with that
putting. You've been working on it.
258
00:20:02,574 --> 00:20:06,574
One day they'll know my name
in this golf club.
259
00:20:06,574 --> 00:20:07,874
Hey up!
260
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:12,674
It's the captain and his cronies.
Let's watch. Good idea.
261
00:20:12,674 --> 00:20:16,454
Move back, you people.
Not too close.
262
00:20:20,254 --> 00:20:22,794
Oh, the captain spoke to us.
263
00:20:22,794 --> 00:20:26,114
He called us "you people".
264
00:20:26,114 --> 00:20:28,554
He noticed us.
265
00:20:31,494 --> 00:20:35,074
Oh, look at the stance.
Look at that grip.
266
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:50,974
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
267
00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:05,354
What are you doing?
We should have arrived by now!
268
00:21:05,354 --> 00:21:08,174
Honestly!
269
00:21:08,174 --> 00:21:14,554
It's no good shouting at me,
I only get flustered. Anybody can make mistakes.
270
00:21:14,554 --> 00:21:18,654
It's a nice day. You've come
out to enjoy yourself. Relax!
271
00:21:22,894 --> 00:21:25,534
It's no good shouting at me.
272
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:30,194
I'm not coming back on that bus
till you all stop shouting at me.
273
00:21:30,194 --> 00:21:36,854
If we all take deep breaths
and try to stay calm, things will only get better.
274
00:21:52,294 --> 00:21:55,134
Oh, this is a nice place.
275
00:21:56,194 --> 00:22:00,834
We came for a picnic.
I suggest we have a picnic.
276
00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:05,854
Shouldn't we wait for the driver?
She didn't wait for us.
277
00:22:52,794 --> 00:22:56,874
Auntie Roz was right.
It IS a nice place.
278
00:22:56,874 --> 00:22:59,714
I'm enjoying the picnic.
279
00:22:59,714 --> 00:23:04,654
I used to come up here with Wally
on the motorbike in the sidecar.
280
00:23:04,654 --> 00:23:10,854
We had many
a Sunday afternoon ride. I know. Took him a week to get over it.
281
00:23:10,854 --> 00:23:13,414
They don't take instruction well.
282
00:23:13,414 --> 00:23:16,254
I've never been in a sidecar.
283
00:23:16,254 --> 00:23:20,294
Oh, I'm glad there's
something you've missed doing.
284
00:23:20,294 --> 00:23:25,394
They can't be very convenient
for building a relationship.
285
00:23:25,394 --> 00:23:28,994
Oh, there's a window
that slides open.
286
00:23:28,994 --> 00:23:34,534
We sometimes used to hold hands.
Before we were married, of course.
287
00:23:34,534 --> 00:23:37,354
I hope my Barry's all right.
288
00:23:37,354 --> 00:23:39,954
Well, I hope my Howard's all right.
289
00:23:39,954 --> 00:23:46,014
I punctured his bicycle before I
left. He hates getting punctures.
290
00:23:46,014 --> 00:23:49,394
Mine used to hate getting letters.
291
00:23:49,394 --> 00:23:52,714
Especially from their wives.
292
00:24:16,414 --> 00:24:21,194
Come on! I want to celebrate
the end of off-roading.
293
00:24:21,194 --> 00:24:26,974
You were getting the hang of it.
You could soon be opening chippies in Bolton.
294
00:24:28,774 --> 00:24:32,874
Petal, wh-where, where's your bus?
295
00:24:32,874 --> 00:24:35,774
Vanished. Just like that.
296
00:24:35,774 --> 00:24:40,154
One minute they were there,
the next - gone.
297
00:24:40,154 --> 00:24:45,114
I think she needs a drink. She's
clearly had a nasty experience.
298
00:24:45,114 --> 00:24:51,654
Oh, don't worry, my little
wallflower, we'll find your bus. You won't! It's gone.
299
00:24:51,654 --> 00:24:55,694
There are some mysterious things
happening round here.
300
00:24:55,694 --> 00:25:00,494
I'll get the drinks in.
Well, that's mysterious, for a start.
301
00:25:01,574 --> 00:25:05,274
You can't have lost a bus.
Not a whole bus.
302
00:25:05,274 --> 00:25:09,134
It's gone. Vanished. Without a sound.
303
00:25:09,134 --> 00:25:14,534
A bus full of ladies without
a sound! Now, that IS mysterious.
304
00:25:18,234 --> 00:25:22,874
Suppose some vehicle goes by
and sees us together.
305
00:25:22,874 --> 00:25:29,134
It won't be a vehicle
we'll have to worry about. It went in the other direction.
306
00:25:29,134 --> 00:25:36,154
They were going that way.
We're quite safe this way. A whole afternoon just to ourselves, Howard.
307
00:25:36,154 --> 00:25:40,994
Heaven knows how we're going
to fill every golden moment.
308
00:25:40,994 --> 00:25:45,614
I've brought us
some crisps and an orange.
309
00:25:45,614 --> 00:25:48,234
That's what they do.
310
00:25:48,234 --> 00:25:51,074
First they shower you with gifts.
311
00:25:51,074 --> 00:25:55,194
I know you like
cheese and onion flavour.
312
00:25:55,194 --> 00:25:59,434
Whatever happens,
you WILL treat me like a lady?
313
00:25:59,434 --> 00:26:01,874
I hope I always shall.
314
00:26:01,874 --> 00:26:04,654
Oh, Howard.
315
00:26:04,654 --> 00:26:07,974
Oh, Marina.
316
00:26:10,514 --> 00:26:13,274
VEHICLE APPROACHES
317
00:26:23,974 --> 00:26:26,674
What happened, Howard?
318
00:26:26,674 --> 00:26:29,534
Is it over? Was that it?
319
00:26:43,694 --> 00:26:46,794
Oh, come on, love... Come on...
320
00:26:49,214 --> 00:26:54,014
Perhaps she'll be better
lying down in the back.
321
00:26:59,634 --> 00:27:02,114
THUMP!
322
00:27:04,474 --> 00:27:08,874
I can't bear to see her
in that condition.
323
00:27:08,874 --> 00:27:11,534
I think I'd better ride in the cab.
324
00:27:16,254 --> 00:27:19,354
You threw me over the wall, Howard.
325
00:27:19,354 --> 00:27:23,454
Just be thankful
I'm only throwing your bicycle.
326
00:27:23,454 --> 00:27:27,014
I didn't throw you
over the wall, precious.
327
00:27:27,014 --> 00:27:30,114
It may have LOOKED like I was.
328
00:27:41,694 --> 00:27:45,094
Don't you want
your cheese and onion?
329
00:28:34,994 --> 00:28:38,334
VEHICLE APPROACHES
330
00:28:45,434 --> 00:28:50,034
Howard! What are
you doing among that woman?
331
00:28:53,134 --> 00:28:56,534
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332
00:28:56,584 --> 00:29:01,134
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