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1
00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:44,200
CHURCH BELLS RING
2
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,640
HE YAWNS LOUDLY
3
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,900
You look lovely every Sunday!
4
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,120
Why waste it on the vicar?!
5
00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:02,140
The road to paradise, lovely,
is in THIS direction!
6
00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:04,680
Get something on!
7
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:09,200
You've no right to talk
to a churchgoer in that condition.
8
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:16,300
If you get mice in your bedroom,
you'll need a good neighbour. Mice are better neighbours than you!
9
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:19,920
She's got a wicked tongue!
10
00:01:20,980 --> 00:01:25,640
I love a mature woman
with a wicked tongue!
11
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,700
Aaaaaaah!
12
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:46,260
Will you close your mouth?!
13
00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:51,260
How did you get planning permission
for a hole that size?
14
00:01:51,260 --> 00:01:56,300
Well, I were up before dinner,
seeing Nora Batty off to church.
15
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,820
That's the crack of dawn, is it?
16
00:01:58,820 --> 00:02:02,900
AND I were up half the night
with my ferret.
17
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:06,540
Sorry to hear that.
Anything serious?
18
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:09,060
No. He's just got too much energy.
19
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:12,040
He were exploring inside my clock!
20
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,000
Sneaks up your nostril, does he?
21
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,480
My chiming clock!
22
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:25,320
How odd it all seems to those of us
used to a ferret-free environment.
23
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:30,160
You just let it wander about?
24
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,180
I don't LET it. It doesn't ask
permission. It just gets out.
25
00:02:35,180 --> 00:02:37,460
And goes to the clock?
26
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:40,440
Every time! Straight to the clock!
27
00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:43,920
Why don't you buy him a wristwatch?
28
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,440
He just likes to ferret about
inside the works.
29
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:58,120
As a headmaster, I can tell you
small boys are like that. Into EVERYTHING.
30
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:03,160
The number of times I had to
replace Matron's hearing aid!
31
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,540
I suppose
their curiosity is natural
32
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:11,560
but I never dared employ
anyone with an artificial limb.
33
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,520
They'd have had it unscrewed
in a trice.
34
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,920
Hey, Norm, what's a trice?
35
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:25,960
Well, it looks like a jiffy,
but it has three wheels.
36
00:03:33,860 --> 00:03:38,920
Why do you think the world
is full of creepy crawlies?
37
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:43,980
Well, if you've no qualifications,
it's one way to get on in the world.
38
00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:50,480
I'm talking about
invertebrates - the insects and associated squigglies.
39
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:55,440
Are they an evolutionary mistake,
or is there a purpose?
40
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,440
Could you repeat the question?
41
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,460
We're not paying attention again,
are we?
42
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:09,980
Will he keep me in at playtime?
43
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:12,520
I wouldn't be surprised.
44
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:19,560
You should be interested
in these questions. You can't swan through life any old how.
45
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,460
I don't do badly.
I'm good at any old how.
46
00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:26,500
I'd say you were VERY good at it.
47
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:31,560
Look at the state of him.
Do you call that "not so bad"?
48
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:35,560
What have you done
to make people admire you?
49
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,060
I live next door to Nora Batty.
50
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,440
That's TRUE!
51
00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:45,980
One can only admire such STAMINA.
52
00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:52,980
You get medals for being in a war
but absolutely nothing for living next door to Nora Batty.
53
00:04:52,980 --> 00:04:55,260
Nothing to it!
54
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:57,840
Oh, he's so modest!
55
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:02,860
Makes you realise,
there will always be an England.
56
00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:06,540
CAR HORN TOOTS
57
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,480
Ey up! It's Jack Harry Teesdale.
58
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,520
'Ow do, lads?
59
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:16,000
And good day to you,
Jack Harry Teesdale.
60
00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,840
What's wrong with Mrs Teesdale?
61
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:24,580
If you want to know anything,
Seymour, just ask!
62
00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:29,160
She'll be all right.
We've had a great weekend.
63
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,380
She just hates the last bit.
64
00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:36,220
Coming home?
She hates coming home?
65
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:39,820
I do. I hate it.
I really hate it.
66
00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:43,140
You should try living in my place!
67
00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:47,220
She DOESN'T hate it.
I do. I hate it.
68
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:49,900
It SOUNDS like she hates it.
69
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:52,980
Well, don't stand there.
70
00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:55,440
Hop in, if you want a lift.
71
00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:04,080
I REALLY hate it.
72
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:17,980
Great weekend. Bit of fishing.
Bit of intensive bingo. She enjoyed it!
73
00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:22,000
I did.
I'm not hard to please.
74
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,540
My mother was a Wagstaffe.
75
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:30,600
I used to know your Eric.
He took early retirement.
76
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:38,600
At every opportunity!
He's not a good colour. I was saying that earlier.
77
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:43,600
But we always do enjoy it.
Caravanning is our cup of tea.
78
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,120
We get away every weekend.
79
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,360
Every weekend!
80
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:52,800
Every single weekend.
81
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:57,320
She loves it.
Can't keep her at home.
82
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,840
HE WHISTLES:
"I'M FOREVER BLOWING BUBBLES"
83
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:12,820
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Did you feel the benefit?
84
00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:15,340
It's a lot of bobbing up and down.
85
00:07:15,340 --> 00:07:18,400
I wouldn't call it a lot. No!
86
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,460
It's not excitable,
like foreign religions!
87
00:07:22,460 --> 00:07:27,380
^
You'll get used to it. Oh, I don't know.
88
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:33,540
You can get a lot
of quiet Christian amusement watching some of the hats.
89
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:37,520
I don't think
the hats are funny.
90
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,000
Not from where you're looking!
91
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,100
Didn't you feel a glow?
92
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:47,600
Even beginners
can admit to feeling a glow.
93
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,120
I felt a draught.
94
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,660
There WAS a draught!
95
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:55,420
You should sing louder, then.
96
00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:59,900
I don't think it's necessary
to sing loud.
97
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:04,940
I think it's more important
to look seriously Christian.
98
00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:07,880
I think YOU'VE cracked it!
99
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,440
I believe in singing loud.
100
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:14,740
That's where
the draught was from!
101
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,560
We weren't taught to sing quietly.
102
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:23,240
There's too many whispering
Christians in the Church.
103
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:27,500
But will it work?
Of course it will!
104
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:30,260
You aren't messing about here.
105
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,060
This is BIG medicine.
106
00:08:33,060 --> 00:08:37,120
I know our vicar
isn't very impressive
107
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:41,620
but you have to remember
the power of his firm!
108
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,360
Good day, Vicar. Very nice service.
109
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:59,300
Well, here we are then.
Safe and sound.
110
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,920
Yes, here we are, then.
111
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,460
Thanks, Jack. Any time!
112
00:09:05,460 --> 00:09:07,980
Ta-ta, then, love!
113
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:10,500
Oh, cheer up! It might not happen.
114
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:14,600
It always has. Every damn time.
Come along!
115
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,300
Let's not start prying.
116
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,820
I like a little pry.
117
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,120
She's not happy.
118
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:26,800
But what can you expect
when all she eats is handkerchiefs?
119
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,320
What colour IS her Eric?
120
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,360
A sort of pale, Eric colour.
121
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,900
I thought he was dead.
122
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:37,420
No wonder he's a funny colour.
123
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,880
No. The dead one is their Ronald.
124
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,420
Come on!
125
00:09:42,420 --> 00:09:45,740
Another foot! That way!
126
00:09:45,740 --> 00:09:48,260
Jack Harry looks cheerful enough.
127
00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:52,320
He always was.
I can't understand it.
128
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:57,840
In every other particular
he'd pass as perfectly normal.
129
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,340
Come on! Come on!
130
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,320
Another foot!
131
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,700
Which way?
132
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,740
Which way?
133
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:11,760
That way.
134
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,760
Left hand down or right hand down?
135
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:18,320
Left!
136
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,480
NO! NO! RIGHT! RIGHT!
137
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:27,060
STOP!
138
00:10:30,479 --> 00:10:34,039
I can't get over
Mrs Jack Harry Teesdale.
139
00:10:34,039 --> 00:10:36,519
Sitting there, eating handkerchiefs.
140
00:10:37,999 --> 00:10:40,539
Poor woman!
141
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:43,259
How long since their Ronald died?
142
00:10:43,259 --> 00:10:45,719
Must be two years.
143
00:10:47,079 --> 00:10:51,599
It's such an odd name
to be dead with, "Ronald".
144
00:10:51,599 --> 00:10:56,899
It just doesn't seem to fit
into the bigger cosmic conditions.
145
00:10:56,899 --> 00:10:59,419
What did he die of, anyway?
146
00:10:59,419 --> 00:11:02,779
He fell down a 200-foot cliff!
147
00:11:02,779 --> 00:11:05,339
He were on holiday.
148
00:11:05,339 --> 00:11:09,359
That's some holiday.
I think he was drunk.
149
00:11:09,359 --> 00:11:13,339
Witnesses said
he sang all the way down!
150
00:11:16,219 --> 00:11:18,439
I think that's terrible.
151
00:11:19,459 --> 00:11:21,499
Singing in public.
152
00:11:22,639 --> 00:11:30,259
Save your concern for the living.
What about poor Mrs Teesdale? She seems worried about something.
153
00:11:30,259 --> 00:11:35,239
You're very sharp today. Of course
she's worried about something.
154
00:11:36,839 --> 00:11:39,379
We've got to try to help her.
155
00:11:39,379 --> 00:11:43,419
I could help her better
with another pint!
156
00:11:43,419 --> 00:11:45,959
Suppose we can't help her at all?
157
00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:48,419
Suppose it's none of our business?
158
00:11:48,419 --> 00:11:53,459
I am a former headmaster
with wide experience of the world.
159
00:11:53,459 --> 00:11:57,959
I'm a former blood donor.
A former book club member.
160
00:11:57,959 --> 00:12:00,259
How can it be none of my business?
161
00:12:05,499 --> 00:12:07,359
RIGHT!
162
00:12:23,859 --> 00:12:26,359
If there's anything we can do...
163
00:12:26,359 --> 00:12:28,939
You can put a match to that caravan.
164
00:12:28,939 --> 00:12:34,999
I thought you liked caravanning.
I like GOING but I HATE coming home.
165
00:12:34,999 --> 00:12:41,039
He can never back it
into the damned drive. It happens every time.
166
00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:46,539
He gets me so I don't know my left
from my right, then he blames me.
167
00:12:46,539 --> 00:12:50,579
I was sorry to hear
about your Ronald.
168
00:12:50,579 --> 00:12:54,419
Our Ronald was a drunk.
He was useless.
169
00:12:54,419 --> 00:12:59,139
And I loved him dearly.
It's my husband I can't stand!
170
00:12:59,139 --> 00:13:04,179
Is that all it is? A question
of backing a caravan into a drive?
171
00:13:04,179 --> 00:13:06,699
You think it's nothing?
172
00:13:06,699 --> 00:13:11,739
It's almost ruining our marriage.
He won't speak to me all week.
173
00:13:11,739 --> 00:13:14,299
And he insults my cooking.
174
00:13:14,299 --> 00:13:21,659
Go indoors, dear lady.
Make yourself a cup of tea and leave everything to Seymour.
175
00:13:21,659 --> 00:13:24,199
Where will Jack Harry be?
176
00:13:24,199 --> 00:13:29,219
The White Horse. Every Sunday.
He practically lives there. Er...
177
00:13:29,219 --> 00:13:34,259
If he doesn't talk to you all week,
how can he insult your cooking?
178
00:13:34,259 --> 00:13:36,859
Facial expressions.
179
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:44,499
That man has a range
of miserable expressions handed down through generations of Teesdales.
180
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:51,019
She were right about the Teesdales.
181
00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:53,539
They could sulk a bit!
182
00:13:53,539 --> 00:13:57,579
You had to make
your own amusement in those days.
183
00:13:57,579 --> 00:14:02,639
They were very close. They used to
sulk together as a family!
184
00:14:02,639 --> 00:14:10,139
If I hadn't spotted that poor
woman's problem, that marriage could have ended in divorce.
185
00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:14,119
It's becoming more popular
than caravanning.
186
00:14:19,099 --> 00:14:21,619
Normally, she's not a bad lass.
187
00:14:21,619 --> 00:14:24,139
We've been reasonably happy.
188
00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:29,159
She's not too demanding -
we always get a good night's sleep.
189
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:31,959
She does a great Yorkshire pudding.
190
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:34,019
Onion gravy?
191
00:14:34,019 --> 00:14:37,979
Yes! What kind of barbarian
doesn't do onion gravy?!
192
00:14:37,979 --> 00:14:42,959
Marvellous. She's not bad
with a Black and Decker.
193
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:45,479
The simple jobs. You know.
194
00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:49,219
What about...relations?
195
00:14:49,219 --> 00:14:51,719
There's only their Eric.
196
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,699
And he's a funny colour!
197
00:14:55,699 --> 00:14:59,159
I mean normal
domestic arrangements.
198
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,979
Unless we're backing caravans, fine!
199
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:07,079
It's a wonderful bond
between two people.
200
00:15:08,399 --> 00:15:10,419
Onion gravy!
201
00:15:11,659 --> 00:15:15,739
If you're so fond of her,
why do you shout at her?
202
00:15:15,739 --> 00:15:22,759
Because she drives me flaming mad!
She doesn't know left hand down from right hand down.
203
00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:27,139
I don't know left hand down
from right hand down.
204
00:15:27,139 --> 00:15:32,219
Fair enough, but you LOOK like
a mechanical idiot!
205
00:15:32,219 --> 00:15:34,819
I wouldn't ask YOU to back a caravan.
206
00:15:34,819 --> 00:15:41,499
She's been doing it for six months
and it's the same damn performance every time.
207
00:15:41,499 --> 00:15:44,579
What will you do? What I always do.
208
00:15:44,579 --> 00:15:50,799
I'll wait here till dark
then hope we can back in with no-one looking.
209
00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:54,099
What time do you get backed in?
210
00:15:54,099 --> 00:15:56,559
The record was 2.30 in the morning.
211
00:15:57,559 --> 00:16:03,599
I use more chuffin' petrol
outside our house than I do going to Bridlington.
212
00:16:03,599 --> 00:16:08,619
A lot of women get dozy, you know.
About ferrets as well.
213
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:12,679
It needs a steady eye
to reverse a ferret.
214
00:16:12,679 --> 00:16:14,019
Yes.
215
00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:20,879
Relax, Jack Harry.
Your problems are over. WE will guide you in.
216
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,459
Thank you.
217
00:16:27,459 --> 00:16:33,719
So that's it? I go to church once
and my husband stops going astray?
218
00:16:33,719 --> 00:16:36,719
What do you mean, "once"?
219
00:16:36,819 --> 00:16:39,879
You start to go each week.
220
00:16:39,879 --> 00:16:41,879
Each week?
221
00:16:41,879 --> 00:16:44,359
Well, he goes astray each week.
222
00:16:45,459 --> 00:16:49,899
It's a wise move.
You'll have no cause for complaint.
223
00:16:49,899 --> 00:16:54,299
Get the strength of the insurance
companies behind you.
224
00:16:54,299 --> 00:16:57,339
How seriously does he go astray?
225
00:16:57,339 --> 00:16:59,899
We don't need details.
226
00:16:59,899 --> 00:17:03,139
He doesn't go SERIOUSLY astray.
227
00:17:03,139 --> 00:17:05,879
It's just that he's weak.
228
00:17:05,879 --> 00:17:08,859
Mmm. He LOOKS weak.
229
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:11,719
He gets talked into things.
230
00:17:11,719 --> 00:17:17,479
They do. It's often a blessing
when they go deaf.
231
00:17:17,479 --> 00:17:25,059
By the time they're old enough
to go deaf, people have usually stopped talking them into things.
232
00:17:25,059 --> 00:17:27,819
Does he wear a woolly vest?
233
00:17:27,819 --> 00:17:35,959
I always think that
if they're wearing one, they will act responsibly.
234
00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:38,459
Yes. Even if it's a thermal.
235
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:43,579
They don't like it
when you go to church.
236
00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:48,399
It makes them uneasy. Less inclined
to put their feet up on chairs.
237
00:17:48,399 --> 00:17:52,459
I wouldn't have that
even if I was an atheist.
238
00:17:52,459 --> 00:17:58,459
Dad used to think it was
his birthday if you let him get his bottom on a chair!
239
00:17:58,459 --> 00:18:01,039
No-one asked you to tell tales!
240
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:07,419
Nature designed your father
for laying under motor cars, not on my three piece suite!
241
00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,519
Quite right!
242
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:16,659
Listen, I can't thank
you blokes enough.
243
00:18:16,659 --> 00:18:21,219
You've no idea what a weight
it's taken off my back.
244
00:18:21,219 --> 00:18:25,979
Just to know for once
that I can back into my own driveway.
245
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,959
No problem!
246
00:18:47,339 --> 00:18:51,319
HE WHISTLES A TUNE
247
00:18:59,079 --> 00:19:01,079
Howard.
248
00:19:02,479 --> 00:19:04,479
Marina!
249
00:19:07,899 --> 00:19:10,739
How do, Howard.
250
00:19:12,059 --> 00:19:14,519
I don't know who you mean!
251
00:19:23,699 --> 00:19:26,139
How are you, Howard?
252
00:19:26,139 --> 00:19:28,999
I can't stop.
253
00:19:28,999 --> 00:19:31,799
Is our relationship cooling?
254
00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:37,939
It isn't cooling.
255
00:19:37,939 --> 00:19:40,999
How can you accuse me of cooling?
256
00:19:40,999 --> 00:19:44,079
I can hardly breathe in this stuff!
257
00:19:44,079 --> 00:19:47,039
You used to breathe a lot heavier.
258
00:19:47,039 --> 00:19:50,119
Do you no longer find me desirable?
259
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:54,299
All I know is that when I look
at your legs...
260
00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:58,519
..I have difficulty in swallowing.
261
00:19:58,519 --> 00:20:03,219
You really know
how to pay a girl a compliment.
262
00:20:05,219 --> 00:20:09,699
And here's me,
wearing your favourite blouse.
263
00:20:09,699 --> 00:20:14,519
Don't say any more!
I can't SWALLOW!
264
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:17,719
Oh, Howard!
265
00:20:17,719 --> 00:20:19,779
Oh, Marina!
266
00:20:19,779 --> 00:20:23,859
Oh, for crying out loud!
Hurry up, love birds!
267
00:20:23,859 --> 00:20:26,679
Are you coming or not?
268
00:20:26,679 --> 00:20:33,719
I don't know about this stranger,
but I'm just resting exhausted from a bicycle ride.
269
00:20:54,499 --> 00:20:56,759
INAUDIBLE
270
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,379
What's he doing?
271
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,959
We find it simplest never to ask.
272
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:30,139
Seymour never just jumps in
and makes a bog-hole of it. He works it all out very carefully.
273
00:21:30,139 --> 00:21:32,839
THEN he makes a bog-hole out of it!
274
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:37,779
It's a question
of angles and curves.
275
00:21:37,779 --> 00:21:41,899
Is that it? Is that
the best help I get?
276
00:21:41,899 --> 00:21:46,899
Just sit behind the wheel,
follow my instructions, and relax.
277
00:22:09,679 --> 00:22:12,279
That boy there! Come here!
278
00:22:13,839 --> 00:22:16,319
Here we go, Norm!
279
00:22:19,859 --> 00:22:22,379
Now, stand there!
280
00:22:22,379 --> 00:22:24,359
No, there!
281
00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:28,299
Now, don't move!
282
00:22:28,299 --> 00:22:30,919
Not an inch! You there!
283
00:22:36,299 --> 00:22:38,279
Yes, you!
284
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:43,319
Now! You stand...
285
00:22:45,619 --> 00:22:47,119
..there!
286
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,219
Right.
287
00:22:49,219 --> 00:22:56,699
Now, you musnt't move an inch,
either of you, or you'll throw all my calclations out of gear.
288
00:22:56,699 --> 00:22:59,159
And I won't have it! I...
289
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:09,519
All right, Norm?
290
00:23:09,519 --> 00:23:11,599
Not bad.
291
00:23:11,599 --> 00:23:15,059
I don't mind standing.
I can do standing.
292
00:23:15,059 --> 00:23:20,599
Boring though, isn't it?
I can handle boring, too.
293
00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:25,619
I've had a lot of practice
queuing at the Post Office.
294
00:23:25,619 --> 00:23:30,039
It gets you finely tuned
to boring.
295
00:23:30,039 --> 00:23:35,079
What we have here, Jack Harry,
are two important markers.
296
00:23:35,079 --> 00:23:40,099
At my command, I want you to begin
reversing towards the first marker,
297
00:23:40,099 --> 00:23:44,119
All the time
applying left hand lock.
298
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,659
Left hand lock as far as Compo.
299
00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:48,719
Right! Right!
300
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:53,899
When you get to your first marker,
you reverse on the opposite lock.
301
00:23:53,899 --> 00:23:58,979
Left hand lock as far as Compo,
right hand lock as far as Clegg.
302
00:23:58,979 --> 00:24:04,999
Correct! And as soon as
you draw abreast of Clegg, you begin levelling off.
303
00:24:04,999 --> 00:24:09,019
Then you'll glide gracefully
into your drive.
304
00:24:09,019 --> 00:24:11,539
I'll give it a whirl!
305
00:24:11,539 --> 00:24:15,579
Give it a whirl?
It's not a lottery!
306
00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:18,039
These are calculations!
307
00:24:20,399 --> 00:24:24,659
Right! Are we ready?
At my signal. Wait for it!
308
00:24:24,659 --> 00:24:27,599
Get on with it!
309
00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:29,479
BEGIN!
310
00:24:31,779 --> 00:24:35,059
Now right hand down to Clegg.
311
00:24:42,519 --> 00:24:43,919
And straighten up.
312
00:24:58,679 --> 00:25:00,719
And voila!
313
00:25:00,719 --> 00:25:03,259
Is the man a genius?
314
00:25:03,259 --> 00:25:05,799
Do I hear sounds of applause?
315
00:25:05,799 --> 00:25:08,839
All we can hear is tha big gob!
316
00:25:08,839 --> 00:25:12,999
Now what?
I mean, what's wrong with that?
317
00:25:15,379 --> 00:25:17,939
Is no-one ever satisfied?
318
00:25:17,939 --> 00:25:25,419
I didn't expect a vote of thanks,
but some small acknowledgement of one's efforts would be nice.
319
00:25:25,419 --> 00:25:27,879
It was poetry in motion.
320
00:25:34,439 --> 00:25:36,999
What's his wife doing next door?
321
00:25:36,999 --> 00:25:40,659
She's not next door.
WE'RE next door!
322
00:25:57,679 --> 00:26:02,119
Someone moved!
Own up, the boy that moved!
323
00:26:04,079 --> 00:26:07,099
Are you ready, now?
324
00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:08,559
GO!
325
00:26:30,159 --> 00:26:31,639
STOP!
326
00:26:32,679 --> 00:26:37,719
You begin to see the problem!
The man's an unskilled driver.
327
00:26:37,719 --> 00:26:42,739
I can see the problem.
It's thee, poking tha big nose in.
328
00:26:42,739 --> 00:26:45,299
Oh, come on. Be fair!
329
00:26:45,299 --> 00:26:50,279
Next time, YOU stand
behind the caravan! I'll do it!
330
00:26:50,279 --> 00:26:52,759
I don't mind standing behind it.
331
00:27:03,239 --> 00:27:07,279
Jack Harry Teesdale!
Where are you going
332
00:27:07,279 --> 00:27:11,979
in such a damned hurry!
THE WHITE HORSE!
333
00:27:11,979 --> 00:27:14,379
He sounds upset.
334
00:27:14,379 --> 00:27:18,419
He wants upsetting,
driving like that.
335
00:27:18,419 --> 00:27:21,519
I wonder what's upset him.
336
00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:27,119
The man's a menace behind the wheel.
337
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,659
He KNEW I was behind the van.
338
00:27:29,659 --> 00:27:32,199
Didn't you tell him I was there?
339
00:27:32,199 --> 00:27:34,699
He could HEAR you, there. Nag, nag!
340
00:27:34,699 --> 00:27:37,299
I thought I was a goner.
341
00:27:37,299 --> 00:27:41,459
It makes an unpleasant noise,
a crushed Seymour!
342
00:28:29,219 --> 00:28:33,199
Subtitles by Mary Thompson
BBC - 1989
343
00:28:33,249 --> 00:28:37,799
Repair and Synchronization by
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