Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:35,168 --> 00:00:37,948
Does that bike always
make that blasted noise?
2
00:00:40,008 --> 00:00:42,147
It's worse when I ride it.
3
00:00:42,148 --> 00:00:45,507
It's in poor taste
for a knocked-off bike.
4
00:00:45,508 --> 00:00:47,867
It's not knocked-off!
5
00:00:47,868 --> 00:00:50,527
I borrowed it off our Les.
6
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:53,747
Well that's as good
as a confession.
7
00:00:53,748 --> 00:00:59,147
I like their Les.
He can't stand kids.
8
00:00:59,148 --> 00:01:03,367
He's packed in thieving
since he got married.
9
00:01:03,368 --> 00:01:05,768
Sending her out now, is he?
10
00:01:18,908 --> 00:01:21,507
This is where they come to get slim.
11
00:01:21,508 --> 00:01:24,248
Well, it's nearer than Bangladesh
12
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,887
They say it's expensive.
13
00:01:26,888 --> 00:01:29,087
Bangladesh?!
14
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:32,568
Shouldn't have thought they could
find a buyer for THAT at any price.
15
00:01:33,548 --> 00:01:37,928
One - Two - Three - and Four
One - Two - Three - and Four...
16
00:01:46,168 --> 00:01:47,747
Know what this reminds me of?
17
00:01:47,748 --> 00:01:52,087
We haven't the slightest interest
but no doubt you'll tell us.
18
00:01:52,088 --> 00:01:54,327
It reminds me that I'm 'ungry.
19
00:01:54,328 --> 00:01:56,147
My belly's rumbling.
20
00:01:56,148 --> 00:01:58,168
Charming, isn't it?
21
00:01:59,228 --> 00:02:00,907
Not only his bike to listen to,
22
00:02:00,908 --> 00:02:04,527
now we've got the rattle
of his interior moving parts.
23
00:02:04,528 --> 00:02:07,687
Alright. Let's make a start
on the sandwiches.
24
00:02:07,688 --> 00:02:09,847
We haven't been going 20 minutes.
25
00:02:09,848 --> 00:02:11,808
I ain't 'ad any brekky!
26
00:02:12,588 --> 00:02:15,208
No! Definitely not!
27
00:02:16,448 --> 00:02:18,368
No sandwiches yet.
28
00:02:25,248 --> 00:02:28,648
Now, don't wolf them all
We'll have nothing left for lunch.
29
00:02:32,008 --> 00:02:33,968
Oh, my God - see what he's brought.
30
00:02:38,828 --> 00:02:39,928
What's wrong?
31
00:02:40,308 --> 00:02:43,928
How can you try things like that
without steel toes in your boots?
32
00:02:44,988 --> 00:02:47,148
Just thee watch.
33
00:02:51,368 --> 00:02:52,707
What was that?
34
00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:56,427
It sounds like the sort of noise
that makes you say...
35
00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:57,528
"What was that?"
36
00:02:58,568 --> 00:03:01,208
Give over, it's just a bird or rat.
37
00:03:01,388 --> 00:03:04,447
A rat?! All right,
don't go to pieces!
38
00:03:04,448 --> 00:03:06,288
They're never more than 8ft long.
39
00:03:08,468 --> 00:03:10,447
Listen...
40
00:03:10,448 --> 00:03:11,848
There it is again.
41
00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:16,707
I wish I knew the tormented
history of this old barn.
42
00:03:16,708 --> 00:03:19,568
I'm beginning to think
it's... haunted.
43
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,008
Ye great, big dollop!
44
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:26,107
But can't you... can't you feel it?
45
00:03:26,108 --> 00:03:29,927
Can't you feel it - that atmosphere
of foreboding and despair?
46
00:03:29,928 --> 00:03:32,707
Like Liverpool on a Sunday?
47
00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:35,287
No, of course you can't feel it.
48
00:03:35,288 --> 00:03:36,988
Listen!
49
00:03:38,168 --> 00:03:39,428
Will you pack it in?
50
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:45,347
You're totally insensitive
to anything you can't stuff down your gullet or place a bet on.
51
00:03:45,348 --> 00:03:47,727
Why should an old barn be 'aunted?
52
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,147
I must say I'm totally enchanted
53
00:03:50,148 --> 00:03:53,227
by the idea of some
muck-spreading old ghost,
54
00:03:53,228 --> 00:03:57,808
whose notion of a good haunt
is to put blackfly on broad beans.
55
00:03:58,848 --> 00:04:00,827
Aye, well I DON'T believe in 'em.
56
00:04:00,828 --> 00:04:05,287
You think that broad beans
are a figment of the imagination?
57
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,848
He believes nothing.
58
00:04:07,588 --> 00:04:10,787
I believe in four
square meals a day.
59
00:04:10,788 --> 00:04:13,568
There's no need to stuff
them all into one sandwich.
60
00:04:16,768 --> 00:04:18,728
There it is again.
61
00:04:18,848 --> 00:04:21,528
It's coming from over there.
62
00:04:22,648 --> 00:04:24,887
There's something in the shadows.
63
00:04:24,888 --> 00:04:26,388
Cobblers!
64
00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:28,927
Something white.
65
00:04:28,928 --> 00:04:30,828
White cobblers.
66
00:04:32,508 --> 00:04:36,907
I DON'T believe in GHOSTS
in draughty old barns.
67
00:04:36,908 --> 00:04:40,587
But suppose-suppose-suppose
Just suppose...
68
00:04:40,588 --> 00:04:45,388
Suppose this barn was the scene
of some... DIABOLICAL crime.
69
00:04:45,628 --> 00:04:49,627
IT WILL BE - If you stop me eating
this sandwich once more!
70
00:04:49,628 --> 00:04:52,647
The poor demented soul
could be DOOMED
71
00:04:52,648 --> 00:04:55,327
to linger here for all eternity.
72
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:56,847
In broad daylight?
73
00:04:56,848 --> 00:04:58,988
Maybe his watch is wrong.
74
00:05:00,408 --> 00:05:02,627
Listen. In the Far East,
75
00:05:02,628 --> 00:05:06,207
I've seen things that would
make your hair stand on end.
76
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:07,647
Really?
77
00:05:07,648 --> 00:05:12,188
Don't worry. Tha's perfectly safe
as long as tha doesn't marry one.
78
00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:17,367
The MT sheds in the barracks
at Sungei Baru were haunted,
79
00:05:17,368 --> 00:05:20,707
by the ghost of a...
a driver corporal,
80
00:05:20,708 --> 00:05:24,367
who was renowned for the
UNBELIEVABLE things he could do
81
00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:28,068
with his 15 cwt while under
the influence of native wine
82
00:05:32,268 --> 00:05:36,347
Sometimes... Sometimes
he could be heard on payday,
83
00:05:36,348 --> 00:05:40,127
in BROAD daylight
revvying his PHANTOM engine
84
00:05:40,128 --> 00:05:43,327
and blowing a COLD, CHILL note
85
00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:46,568
on what sounded very like
a battered old military horn.
86
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:58,527
'Ey up! By 'eck, it's a group!
87
00:05:58,528 --> 00:05:59,787
No. No. No. No.
88
00:05:59,788 --> 00:06:02,587
GROUPS daren't materialise
in daylight.
89
00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:05,748
Can you believe
in Adam and the Ants in daylight?
90
00:06:07,788 --> 00:06:10,007
Look at their STARING eyes.
91
00:06:10,008 --> 00:06:12,067
It's a close encounter!
92
00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:15,167
They've come to whip us off
to the nearest galaxy!
93
00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:18,327
Give over!
94
00:06:18,328 --> 00:06:21,407
It's that lot from the 'ealth Farm.
95
00:06:21,408 --> 00:06:23,588
All in their slimming trunks.
96
00:06:24,588 --> 00:06:28,107
I said I could sense this air
of foreboding and despair.
97
00:06:28,108 --> 00:06:30,308
It's these poor hungry devils.
98
00:06:30,468 --> 00:06:32,448
They've got their eye on our food.
99
00:06:32,528 --> 00:06:35,447
Excuse me. Excuse me.
100
00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:39,167
Thank you. Thank you.
101
00:06:39,168 --> 00:06:41,147
Slip them a sandwich, Foggy.
102
00:06:41,148 --> 00:06:43,727
And we'll just nip out
through yon window.
103
00:06:43,728 --> 00:06:45,427
Good idea, Norm.
104
00:06:45,428 --> 00:06:50,327
Better give them yours, that would
occupy them longer. Ger off!
105
00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:52,568
Em... What have you got?
106
00:06:53,608 --> 00:06:54,808
Pardon?
107
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:57,807
In your sandwich.
108
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,447
Oh! Oh, me sandwich! Yes.
109
00:06:59,448 --> 00:07:01,288
I've got cheese. Ooooh!
110
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,367
Oooh! Oooh! He's got CHEESE!
111
00:07:03,368 --> 00:07:05,507
With mustard? Aye. Look.
112
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,747
- With mustard!
- It's very acid-forming, you know.
113
00:07:08,748 --> 00:07:10,647
Shut up, Lapsley!
Shut up, Lapsley!
114
00:07:10,648 --> 00:07:13,427
We haven't all got cheese.
115
00:07:13,428 --> 00:07:16,607
I've got a little
LEAN CUT boiled ham.
116
00:07:16,608 --> 00:07:19,967
And, for a change, a little pate.
117
00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:22,808
Oh, God, he's got pate.
118
00:07:23,628 --> 00:07:26,467
Not only boiled ham -
LEAN CUT boiled ham...
119
00:07:26,468 --> 00:07:28,288
but Normandy pate! 'Ey up!
120
00:07:29,328 --> 00:07:31,347
NORMANDY PATE?
121
00:07:31,348 --> 00:07:35,247
It's potted meat
He just likes to swank, that's all.
122
00:07:35,248 --> 00:07:38,447
I'll thank you
not to disparage potted meat.
123
00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:41,527
I won't have a WORD said against it.
124
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,067
I can assure you, madam,
125
00:07:43,068 --> 00:07:47,207
despite the unsolicited voice
from the condemned wellies there,
126
00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:49,107
this is in fact GENUINE pate.
127
00:07:49,108 --> 00:07:52,467
I think perhaps we ought to be going.
They'll be waiting for us.
128
00:07:52,468 --> 00:07:56,827
It's time for carrot juice,
sauna and MANIPULATION.
129
00:07:56,828 --> 00:07:58,427
Let them wait Let them wait!
130
00:07:58,428 --> 00:08:01,287
Keep quiet, Lapsley!
Trouble-maker!
131
00:08:01,288 --> 00:08:04,767
Let them wait
for carrot juice, sauna AND manipulation.
132
00:08:04,768 --> 00:08:07,107
Meantime, I suggest we negotiate
133
00:08:07,108 --> 00:08:09,767
for the purchase
of these emergency rations?
134
00:08:09,768 --> 00:08:11,887
'Oh yes! Yes! Yes!'
135
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:14,387
Do you really think we ought?
136
00:08:14,388 --> 00:08:16,408
We'll open
with YOUR contribution.
137
00:08:16,648 --> 00:08:19,008
No! No!
Good idea! Come on, Lapsley!
138
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,925
No. It's RIGHT.
139
00:08:21,926 --> 00:08:24,706
I'm not sure about the cap.
140
00:08:26,026 --> 00:08:28,066
You'd destroy it
without the cap!
141
00:08:28,826 --> 00:08:30,385
What about me 'air?
142
00:08:30,386 --> 00:08:32,946
Yes... I don't like your 'air.
143
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,626
It comes with the 'ead!
144
00:08:38,626 --> 00:08:40,105
Could you wear it up?
145
00:08:40,106 --> 00:08:42,125
I suppose so.
146
00:08:42,126 --> 00:08:45,185
It gives me 'eadaches
and me husband 'ates it.
147
00:08:45,186 --> 00:08:47,205
But I suppose so.
148
00:08:47,206 --> 00:08:50,906
He HATES it?
You're lucky he even NOTICES
149
00:08:51,946 --> 00:08:53,825
It makes me look TALLER.
150
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:56,445
He's conscious of 'is size.
151
00:08:56,446 --> 00:08:58,585
Mine NEVER notices.
152
00:08:58,586 --> 00:09:01,825
After 30 years he still pretends
that I've not noticed
153
00:09:01,826 --> 00:09:04,526
he's an UNDERSIZED little idiot.
154
00:09:06,106 --> 00:09:10,065
MINE wouldn't notice unless
I fried the ends in batter.
155
00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:13,185
I sometimes think
ALL his senses have amalgamated
156
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,466
in a direct line to 'is belly.
157
00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:19,225
Well, ALL bar one, anyway.
158
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:23,185
♪ Hold my hand
I'm a stranger in paradise. ♪
159
00:09:23,186 --> 00:09:25,986
You're not too well known
in chapel either!
160
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:29,825
You needn't put your 'air up now.
161
00:09:29,826 --> 00:09:33,866
Yes, but that's the way
I want you turned out for weddings.
162
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,945
I'd be nervous
at a wedding function.
163
00:09:37,946 --> 00:09:39,165
No, you wouldn't.
164
00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,946
I always CRY.
165
00:09:42,046 --> 00:09:44,426
Not when
you're involved professionally.
166
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,145
You have a CERTAIN detachment.
167
00:09:48,146 --> 00:09:50,385
Instead of feeling
sorry for the bride,
168
00:09:50,386 --> 00:09:52,585
you're too preoccupied watching
169
00:09:52,586 --> 00:09:56,305
for the first drunken fool
to start swiping the cutlery.
170
00:09:56,306 --> 00:09:59,586
At a wedding? They don't, do they?
171
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,805
They DO. You'll see them.
172
00:10:01,806 --> 00:10:04,025
Both hands under the table.
173
00:10:04,026 --> 00:10:07,605
Then it's just a question
of DISCRIMINATION.
174
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:12,005
Are they feeling somebody's leg,
or sliding something into a handbag?
175
00:10:12,006 --> 00:10:13,965
How do you tell?
176
00:10:13,966 --> 00:10:18,125
By the expression
Watch their faces.
177
00:10:18,126 --> 00:10:20,045
I'll never learn!
178
00:10:20,046 --> 00:10:21,265
Yes you will
179
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:24,945
As an added incentive,
for every item missing,
180
00:10:24,946 --> 00:10:28,065
I'll deduct a token amount
from YOUR wages.
181
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:32,785
How can I tell from their faces
what they do under the table?
182
00:10:32,786 --> 00:10:36,126
If their mouths
are 'anging open, it's lust.
183
00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:41,085
If they're clamped
tight shut, it's larceny.
184
00:10:41,086 --> 00:10:43,625
There are some clamped tight,
it's lockjaw.
185
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:45,346
How long
have you been listening?
186
00:10:45,486 --> 00:10:47,406
Hanging on to every word.
187
00:10:47,586 --> 00:10:49,126
Oh! Damn and Blast!
188
00:10:49,506 --> 00:10:52,305
Oh! It's a good job
we weren't 'anging on
189
00:10:52,306 --> 00:10:54,485
to every word of that little lot!
190
00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:56,525
What's she dressed up for?
191
00:10:56,526 --> 00:10:59,465
Because I am DETERMINED
192
00:10:59,466 --> 00:11:02,025
to raise the tone
of this establishment
193
00:11:02,026 --> 00:11:05,705
It's about time we raised
this blood and snortin' counter.
194
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:08,865
The public want more than
bare tables and sauce bottles.
195
00:11:08,866 --> 00:11:10,705
They won't put up with it.
196
00:11:10,706 --> 00:11:14,425
They will if you shout at 'em
They're as good as gold then.
197
00:11:14,426 --> 00:11:17,545
No. If there's one thing
mass education has done,
198
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:21,805
it's taught people
to be afraid of bare tables and good plain food.
199
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,865
They've learned
to pay DAFT money
200
00:11:23,866 --> 00:11:26,526
for subdued lighting
and sub-standard chips.
201
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:31,766
The tone'll take some raising here.
202
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,505
'Ey up, Nora.
203
00:11:34,506 --> 00:11:37,906
I don't want you coming any nearer
Keep away!
204
00:11:39,386 --> 00:11:42,505
Tha looks very slinky
in that outfit.
205
00:11:42,506 --> 00:11:46,405
By 'ell, that makes me think
of breakfast in bed!
206
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,505
Keep off!
207
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,165
Are you interfering
with my staff?
208
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:53,225
Matter of fact,
I don't have the time,
209
00:11:53,226 --> 00:11:56,486
but if you'd like to
keep her warm till I get back!
210
00:11:57,506 --> 00:11:58,865
Waw! Waw!
211
00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:01,066
A vision in black!
212
00:12:02,146 --> 00:12:03,985
Right. Well now, Sidney...
213
00:12:03,986 --> 00:12:07,066
we would like a hundred
packets of crisps, please.
214
00:12:09,706 --> 00:12:11,065
How many?
215
00:12:11,066 --> 00:12:15,965
A hundred. But if that order
is too large we... No, say no more.
216
00:12:15,966 --> 00:12:18,325
Anything else? Yes...
217
00:12:18,326 --> 00:12:23,145
yes, here we are. There'll
be four dozen sausage rolls and three dozen meat pies,
218
00:12:23,146 --> 00:12:25,545
1½ gross assorted
chocolate biscuits,
219
00:12:25,546 --> 00:12:28,705
two dozen whirly walnut ripples
with cream centres,
220
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,226
10 jars of potted meat,
10lbs of cheddar...
221
00:12:39,086 --> 00:12:42,625
'Ey up, we can't just pedal
through the front gates.
222
00:12:42,626 --> 00:12:44,585
We'll have to sneak round the back.
223
00:12:44,586 --> 00:12:48,585
How can we SNEAK anywhere
with your damned noisy bike?
224
00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:52,165
Maybe I could oil it
with Sid's bread and butter.
225
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:54,746
Not at the price we can get here.
226
00:12:55,806 --> 00:12:57,245
Will THEY want it?
227
00:12:57,246 --> 00:12:58,585
Want it?
228
00:12:58,586 --> 00:13:02,585
You're only problem's going to be
moving your hand out of the way
229
00:13:02,586 --> 00:13:06,066
before THEY get their teeth
round your fingers. Come on.
230
00:13:12,806 --> 00:13:14,686
I saw this Western.
231
00:13:14,826 --> 00:13:18,325
There were these three blokes
trying to smuggle these guns
232
00:13:18,326 --> 00:13:20,605
to these half-crazy Indians.
233
00:13:20,606 --> 00:13:21,885
What happened?
234
00:13:21,886 --> 00:13:23,545
I daren't tell you.
235
00:13:23,546 --> 00:13:26,386
But if any of them slimmers
lights a fire...
236
00:13:26,486 --> 00:13:28,626
Don't wait. I'll be gone.
237
00:14:16,446 --> 00:14:18,805
Why is it me always goes first?
238
00:14:18,806 --> 00:14:21,625
Well... I've thought about that
239
00:14:21,626 --> 00:14:25,905
and I think it's because
you tend to be DAFTER than we are.
240
00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:27,205
Oh!
241
00:14:27,206 --> 00:14:31,345
You give him a position of trust
and he MOANS about it.
242
00:14:31,346 --> 00:14:35,545
It's time you were prepared
to accept a bit of responsibility.
243
00:14:35,546 --> 00:14:38,565
'Ey, mind where you're shoving!
Mind where you're shoving!
244
00:14:38,566 --> 00:14:46,345
I can assure you we don't intend
handling your trousers a moment longer than absolutely necessary.
245
00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:49,545
You're supposed to jump,
not just wriggle about.
246
00:14:49,546 --> 00:14:51,865
I'm not wriggling about!
247
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:55,146
Well, there's somebody
in there wriggling about,
248
00:14:56,206 --> 00:14:59,265
Watch out
You're scraping my chest!
249
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,786
If it's like your neck
it could do with it.
250
00:15:02,826 --> 00:15:04,325
What's wrong with my neck?
251
00:15:04,326 --> 00:15:08,645
Don't let go, you dozy wet! Arrgh!
252
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,426
See what you've done!
253
00:15:12,326 --> 00:15:15,346
YOU DOZY, GREAT PILLOCK!
254
00:15:17,246 --> 00:15:19,786
Ger off! Ger off! Ger off!
255
00:15:20,106 --> 00:15:21,866
Careful with the stock.
256
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:23,286
GER OFF!
257
00:15:26,066 --> 00:15:28,365
Now this time
on the count of three,
258
00:15:28,366 --> 00:15:30,725
you jump, we'll boost. Got that?
259
00:15:30,726 --> 00:15:33,206
I'm fed up with feeding slimmers.
260
00:15:34,406 --> 00:15:35,645
One!
261
00:15:35,646 --> 00:15:38,085
This business is gettin' my wick.
262
00:15:38,086 --> 00:15:40,965
Two! Supposing there's a guard dog.
263
00:15:40,966 --> 00:15:44,005
In there? They'd have eaten it.
264
00:15:44,006 --> 00:15:45,645
Ready?
265
00:15:45,646 --> 00:15:47,066
NO! Three!
266
00:16:15,386 --> 00:16:18,186
He's playing silly devils
Trying to frighten us.
267
00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:23,266
I think he's succeeding.
268
00:16:24,606 --> 00:16:27,026
It must be shrubbery over there.
269
00:16:29,586 --> 00:16:33,805
He couldn't hurt himself - landing
in the arms of a friendly bush.
270
00:16:33,806 --> 00:16:35,385
The ARMS?
271
00:16:35,386 --> 00:16:37,786
Maybe he got more the ELBOW.
272
00:16:38,866 --> 00:16:42,305
The thing is, normally,
when he injures himself,
273
00:16:42,306 --> 00:16:46,146
you can tell by this great rash
of four-letter words.
274
00:16:47,526 --> 00:16:50,305
I suppose there is LAND over there.
275
00:16:50,306 --> 00:16:53,786
We couldn't be on the edge of...
some old quarry?
276
00:16:55,586 --> 00:16:57,685
Shut up, man!
277
00:16:57,686 --> 00:17:01,726
I mean, h-h-h-how could we be
on the edge of an old quarry?
278
00:17:09,966 --> 00:17:13,725
Well, would you believe it?
You give a chap a little leg up
279
00:17:13,726 --> 00:17:15,945
and he goes shooting off into orbit!
280
00:17:15,946 --> 00:17:21,066
The FOOL. Well, it's the last time
I throw him over a wall.
281
00:17:56,006 --> 00:17:57,506
Are you al...? Oh!
282
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:14,866
Look.
283
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:24,085
Oh? Oh dear!
284
00:18:24,086 --> 00:18:26,925
Come 'ere, you low prawn!
285
00:18:26,926 --> 00:18:28,066
Come 'ere!
286
00:18:47,046 --> 00:18:49,305
It's not being used.
287
00:18:49,306 --> 00:18:54,846
We can set up our headquarters there
and make sorties to attract custom.
288
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:31,966
One, two, three, four, one, two,
three, four, one, two, three, four...
289
00:20:34,986 --> 00:20:36,245
Here you are.
290
00:20:36,246 --> 00:20:38,905
Hot pies! Mushy peas! Biscuits!
291
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,425
Let's 'ave your money.
Put it on the tray.
292
00:20:41,426 --> 00:20:44,266
One, two, three, four,
one, two, three, four...
293
00:20:46,986 --> 00:20:50,145
Oooh! Biscuits! Oooh! Ham!
294
00:20:50,146 --> 00:20:53,045
One - Two - Three - Four
One - Two - Three...
295
00:20:53,046 --> 00:20:55,506
Four - One.
296
00:21:39,826 --> 00:21:42,805
Haven't you ANYTHING
with fewer calories?
297
00:21:42,806 --> 00:21:44,346
Sorry.
298
00:21:58,186 --> 00:21:59,825
Pork?
299
00:21:59,826 --> 00:22:00,986
Yes.
300
00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:03,526
Thought it looked like pork.
301
00:22:03,926 --> 00:22:07,246
VERY attractive pie, I think.
302
00:22:08,246 --> 00:22:09,826
Pork.
303
00:22:10,366 --> 00:22:11,806
Very tasty.
304
00:22:12,066 --> 00:22:14,345
I like it
when you slice it in half...
305
00:22:14,346 --> 00:22:18,025
and you get the speckled effect
of tiny bits of red meat...
306
00:22:18,026 --> 00:22:21,246
and the delicate, translucent
whites of the fat.
307
00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:25,746
Give him a pie, for pity's sake!
308
00:22:26,246 --> 00:22:28,746
No! No! Please! You MUST not.
309
00:22:29,226 --> 00:22:32,605
What I want you to do
is to wait until I ask you...
310
00:22:32,606 --> 00:22:34,806
"How much is this pie?"
311
00:22:37,006 --> 00:22:38,586
Oooohhhh
312
00:22:42,366 --> 00:22:43,546
Then I want...
313
00:22:45,626 --> 00:22:48,285
Then I want you to quote me
a RIDICULOUS price.
314
00:22:48,286 --> 00:22:50,325
A totally EXTORTIONATE...
315
00:22:50,326 --> 00:22:52,865
INFLATIONARY, EXTORTIONATE...
316
00:22:52,866 --> 00:22:56,306
RIDICULOUS price
that not even a FOOL would pay.
317
00:23:00,966 --> 00:23:02,725
How much is this pie?
318
00:23:02,726 --> 00:23:04,005
£5.
319
00:23:04,006 --> 00:23:05,266
I'll pay it.
320
00:23:08,166 --> 00:23:10,346
Five quid!
321
00:23:11,386 --> 00:23:13,125
I've got this DEEP...
322
00:23:13,126 --> 00:23:16,665
lower bowel feeling of gloom
about these whole proceedings.
323
00:23:16,666 --> 00:23:19,806
You just have to look at it
as providing a service.
324
00:23:20,286 --> 00:23:22,366
It's better than backing gee-gees.
325
00:23:22,466 --> 00:23:25,685
We're tampering with elemental,
natural forces...
326
00:23:25,686 --> 00:23:27,445
and no good will come of it.
327
00:23:27,446 --> 00:23:29,105
Oh, yes it will!
328
00:23:29,106 --> 00:23:32,246
If we can only prize the money
outta nimble fingers.
329
00:23:32,566 --> 00:23:36,505
I'll share
it fairly at a convenient time and place.
330
00:23:36,506 --> 00:23:40,225
And at some distance from your
friendly local betting shop.
331
00:23:40,226 --> 00:23:43,125
Look I 'ave to bet my money
on the gee-gees.
332
00:23:43,126 --> 00:23:45,626
If not I just fritter it away!
333
00:23:46,346 --> 00:23:50,285
I'm thinking of those three in that
Western, smuggling guns to Indians.
334
00:23:50,286 --> 00:23:52,665
They thought they had a good thing.
335
00:23:52,666 --> 00:23:55,165
Next minute - in comes Geronimo...
336
00:23:55,166 --> 00:23:57,586
to give them a very short haircut.
337
00:23:58,086 --> 00:24:01,005
There's no Geronimo here.
338
00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:02,446
Caught you!
339
00:24:03,246 --> 00:24:05,026
Geronimo! Geronimo! Geronimo!
340
00:24:18,606 --> 00:24:19,866
Come on
341
00:24:20,646 --> 00:24:22,985
They'll never notice you in this.
342
00:24:22,986 --> 00:24:25,965
They should never
have noticed him in the summer house.
343
00:24:25,966 --> 00:24:27,946
It's quite obvious
somebody's squealed.
344
00:24:28,126 --> 00:24:32,366
Swine! If I catch him
I'll cut the string of his shorts.
345
00:24:33,526 --> 00:24:35,286
It could have been a woman.
346
00:24:35,466 --> 00:24:37,265
We shall find out, shan't we?
347
00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:39,026
When we cut the string
of his shorts.
348
00:24:41,366 --> 00:24:45,305
'ey up! It reminds me
of that film. What film?
349
00:24:45,306 --> 00:24:49,505
Albert RN. He took the place
of a bloke what escaped.
350
00:24:49,506 --> 00:24:54,705
It's alright for Alex here and
Lapsley - but who's to be Celia?
351
00:24:54,706 --> 00:24:58,466
We'll just have to draw lots...
and lots - and lots.
352
00:24:59,526 --> 00:25:02,746
You can 'ave this for a start.
353
00:25:02,966 --> 00:25:07,466
And... you'll need this.
354
00:25:09,606 --> 00:25:10,646
Somebody's coming.
355
00:25:11,406 --> 00:25:14,026
Here, Lofty - get hold of that.
356
00:25:14,786 --> 00:25:18,745
Sauna time, boys and girls,
and after, a nice LONG run
357
00:25:18,746 --> 00:25:22,306
in the countryside. Oh, jolly!
Oh, jolly, jolly!
358
00:25:23,866 --> 00:25:26,925
All the best Thank you.
359
00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:28,026
A minute.
360
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:39,805
Hup - hup - hup - hup - hup - hup -
hup.
361
00:25:39,806 --> 00:25:42,386
Hup - hup - hup - hup - hup - hup.
362
00:25:59,926 --> 00:26:04,266
Oooh! Oh-oh! Oh, dear. Whew!
363
00:26:07,486 --> 00:26:09,386
Oh! Ah! Oooh! Aaah!
364
00:26:16,606 --> 00:26:18,946
I bet I've lost 10 lbs.
365
00:26:19,966 --> 00:26:22,506
I think we're down to about 30 bob.
366
00:26:23,046 --> 00:26:25,066
Our finances have caught a draught.
367
00:26:25,966 --> 00:26:28,545
I caught a draught in that sauna.
368
00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:34,625
'Ey, Norm. Did you see that bird
with the ENORMOUS..? That'll do.
369
00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:37,426
She WAS trying to reduce them,
poor woman, wasn't she?
370
00:26:38,446 --> 00:26:42,365
Who was that dozy twit, who kept
flicking me with them twigs?!
371
00:26:42,366 --> 00:26:44,865
It was to improve your circulation.
372
00:26:44,866 --> 00:26:49,185
God know why, you'd already been
three times round that fat lady.
373
00:26:49,186 --> 00:26:52,385
Ah, well, I've had
some healthy exercise.
374
00:26:52,386 --> 00:26:56,385
And a mouthful of dirt.
Now we've got to traipse back
375
00:26:56,386 --> 00:26:59,266
for our lousy bikes
and the rest of our clobber!
376
00:27:00,366 --> 00:27:05,125
If you think that's suffering...
Try to think how the poor slimmer must have felt...
377
00:27:05,126 --> 00:27:07,866
who had to carry your socks back.
378
00:27:09,066 --> 00:27:12,165
I bet they made
little Lapsley do it.
379
00:27:12,166 --> 00:27:13,426
Trouble-maker!
380
00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:16,045
Oh, I liked him.
381
00:27:16,046 --> 00:27:18,125
There's still hope for the world...
382
00:27:18,126 --> 00:27:20,545
if it's full of timid little men.
383
00:27:20,546 --> 00:27:23,245
All right. You can take your hair
off now, Goldilocks..
384
00:27:23,246 --> 00:27:26,105
Not till I get my cap back.
385
00:27:26,106 --> 00:27:28,906
I've no intention
of catching a chill.
386
00:27:28,956 --> 00:27:33,506
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
29091
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
