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1
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,532
It'll be good to get
away for Christmas.
2
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:38,152
I'm enjoying it already.
3
00:00:38,153 --> 00:00:42,532
The only thing worse than
Christmas is goin' away for it!
4
00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:46,612
You'll love it once we're
there and that's an ORDER!
5
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:51,312
As a matter of fact,
I've found us a real snip.
6
00:00:51,313 --> 00:00:54,692
Depart Platform 2 at 0940 hours.
7
00:00:54,693 --> 00:00:55,892
I hope he's ready!
8
00:00:55,893 --> 00:00:57,472
I WARNED him to be ready.
9
00:00:57,473 --> 00:01:01,772
'You be packed and ready' I said
and left a list of what to take.
10
00:01:01,773 --> 00:01:05,192
You saw me - I've done all
the staff work.
11
00:01:05,193 --> 00:01:08,432
He's only had to get out of
bed and get his gear ready.
12
00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:12,592
You know what he's going to
find tricky, don't you?
13
00:01:12,593 --> 00:01:13,712
I TOLD him what to pack.
14
00:01:13,713 --> 00:01:18,452
It's not the packing,
it's the getting out of bed!
15
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:20,333
He wouldn't, would he?
16
00:01:22,953 --> 00:01:24,512
No answer.
17
00:01:24,513 --> 00:01:27,052
Give him a CHANCE to answer it.
18
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:30,252
How long's it take him?
It's not Bleinheim Palace.
19
00:01:30,253 --> 00:01:33,252
Y'can't expect him to rush it.
20
00:01:33,253 --> 00:01:37,613
A knock usually means they've
come to cut his electric off.
21
00:01:38,993 --> 00:01:41,892
This operation's been
carefully planned, y'know.
22
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,912
Try the door, twist the handle.
23
00:01:44,913 --> 00:01:47,773
I'll twist HIS handle if
he throws my schedule out!
24
00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:52,072
It's locked.
25
00:01:52,073 --> 00:01:54,392
Funny! Doesn't sound like him.
26
00:01:54,393 --> 00:01:57,232
Well if it's not locked,
it's stuck.
27
00:01:57,233 --> 00:01:59,493
That sounds more like him.
28
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:03,513
'Hey up!'
29
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,372
Break me door, why don't yer!
30
00:02:05,373 --> 00:02:07,232
Your MOTHER'S door used to stick.
31
00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:09,772
Not 'er BEDROOM door...
32
00:02:09,773 --> 00:02:13,612
'er bedroom door opened
like SILK.
33
00:02:13,613 --> 00:02:16,472
I thought that was
your Auntie Gladys.
34
00:02:16,473 --> 00:02:19,832
No! She just helped out sometimes.
35
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:23,952
What are y'doing in there?
36
00:02:23,953 --> 00:02:27,252
I live 'ere, you great tulip!
37
00:02:27,253 --> 00:02:31,272
He's in the bedroom - I knew it,
he's just got up!
38
00:02:31,273 --> 00:02:34,092
I 'aven't just got up!
I'm ready...
39
00:02:34,093 --> 00:02:36,113
I've been ready for an hour!
40
00:02:38,013 --> 00:02:39,852
Nearly an hour.
41
00:02:39,853 --> 00:02:41,912
About 5 minutes!
42
00:02:41,913 --> 00:02:45,112
It's this holiday excitement -
I couldn't sleep either!
43
00:02:45,113 --> 00:02:48,752
I kept thinking, 'Oh goody,
we're off in the morning!'
44
00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:51,512
What are y'doing still
in the bedroom?
45
00:02:51,513 --> 00:02:54,152
I'm collecting me ferrets.
46
00:02:54,153 --> 00:02:55,933
Wally's gonna take care of 'em.
47
00:02:58,533 --> 00:03:00,332
Ferrets in the bedroom?
48
00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:03,472
We're gonna miss all
these local customs.
49
00:03:03,473 --> 00:03:05,712
That's one I CERTAINLY
intend to miss.
50
00:03:05,713 --> 00:03:08,192
Love knows no boundaries, Foggy.
51
00:03:08,193 --> 00:03:12,872
I know - But FERRETS
in the BEDROOM?
52
00:03:12,873 --> 00:03:16,352
I've seen goldfish on sideboards...
53
00:03:16,353 --> 00:03:17,912
on embroidered doilies...
54
00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:22,552
at the mathematical centre of
highly polished sideboards!
55
00:03:22,553 --> 00:03:26,552
I've seen budgies hopping around
the contours of married ladies...
56
00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:28,233
where even HUSBANDS
would fear to tread!
57
00:03:29,653 --> 00:03:32,132
Don't worry! Daddy won't be long.
58
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,592
He's not dressed yet!
59
00:03:34,593 --> 00:03:37,672
'Course I am!
What d'y'think these are?
60
00:03:37,673 --> 00:03:39,592
We've often wondered...
61
00:03:39,593 --> 00:03:42,092
it's been the subject
of endless debate.
62
00:03:42,093 --> 00:03:46,433
But we can agree now they're NOT
suitable for going away with ME!
63
00:03:48,113 --> 00:03:51,032
Is 'e gonna be fussy
all the 'oliday?
64
00:03:51,033 --> 00:03:54,712
Hey, Norm! Did tha get
these for Christmas?
65
00:03:54,713 --> 00:03:55,852
Yes.
66
00:03:55,853 --> 00:03:57,913
1938!
67
00:04:00,953 --> 00:04:03,152
I thought you'd got a new suit?
68
00:04:03,153 --> 00:04:05,432
I've packed me new suit.
69
00:04:05,433 --> 00:04:08,952
Tha needn't think I were
wearin' it on a scruffy train!
70
00:04:08,953 --> 00:04:11,672
I like to relax when I travel.
71
00:04:11,673 --> 00:04:15,772
How are WE to relax with
you in THAT state?
72
00:04:15,773 --> 00:04:17,473
Can we put him in the guard's van?
73
00:04:19,153 --> 00:04:22,992
It's a freedom 'oliday, tha said!
Miles away from it all.
74
00:04:22,993 --> 00:04:26,792
No rules, self-catering -
do as you please.
75
00:04:26,793 --> 00:04:28,992
That's what tha said!
76
00:04:28,993 --> 00:04:32,392
You can take it free and easy
when you get there.
77
00:04:32,393 --> 00:04:34,792
We'll have to cover him up
with something.
78
00:04:34,793 --> 00:04:36,153
Like what?
79
00:04:37,793 --> 00:04:41,033
6 feet of earth springs to mind!
80
00:04:43,293 --> 00:04:46,212
It's true! You're goin' then?
81
00:04:46,213 --> 00:04:48,572
Just for a few days.
82
00:04:48,573 --> 00:04:49,652
How few?
83
00:04:49,653 --> 00:04:54,612
You'll not be back for Christmas?
There's no point in goin' if you're back for Christmas.
84
00:04:54,613 --> 00:04:57,452
We shan't be back for Christmas.
85
00:04:57,453 --> 00:04:59,792
I 'ope 'e's not just
sayin' that!
86
00:04:59,793 --> 00:05:02,792
No! Tha'll 'ave to manage
without me this time.
87
00:05:02,793 --> 00:05:06,292
Tha'll miss the excitement
under the mistletoe.
88
00:05:06,293 --> 00:05:08,872
Which mistletoe?
'Old me ferrets!
89
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:10,252
THIS mistletoe.
90
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:16,913
Put that woman down -
We've a train to catch!
91
00:05:19,813 --> 00:05:22,012
OOOHHH! It's passion, it is!
92
00:05:22,013 --> 00:05:25,173
Should he be doing that
while the train's in the station?
93
00:05:29,313 --> 00:05:33,672
It's not fair,
'e caught me at a disadvantage.
94
00:05:33,673 --> 00:05:38,312
'Ow can yer struggle
when you daren't let go of 'is ferrets?
95
00:05:38,313 --> 00:05:41,013
That'll 'ave to last yer
till after Christmas!
96
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,632
Goin' away for Christmas then?
97
00:05:47,633 --> 00:05:50,352
The family occasion of the year.
98
00:05:50,353 --> 00:05:55,072
I dunno 'ow yer can do it,
goin' away for Christmas.
99
00:05:55,073 --> 00:05:57,732
It's not as if I 'aven't tried.
100
00:05:57,733 --> 00:06:01,252
Is that all y'can say
when y'catch someone kissin' yer wife?
101
00:06:01,253 --> 00:06:03,752
It's Christmas, woman!
102
00:06:03,753 --> 00:06:07,452
So, what if it is?
You don't go round kissin' everybody.
103
00:06:07,453 --> 00:06:10,172
YOU don't kiss me at Christmas.
104
00:06:10,173 --> 00:06:14,072
Listen, I 'ave to be
pleasant to all your relatives.
105
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:16,213
Enough's enough!
106
00:06:17,513 --> 00:06:19,612
Merry Christmas, Wally,
Mind me ferrets.
107
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,652
I will, you KNOW I will.
108
00:06:21,653 --> 00:06:24,332
I don't mind ferrets
for Christmas.
109
00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:26,092
Oh, Wally.
110
00:06:26,093 --> 00:06:31,092
Before you go, will you be
using your motor bike coat?
111
00:06:31,093 --> 00:06:35,553
No 'e won't!
'E'll be stayin' indoors to ENJOY 'iself with 'is family.
112
00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:42,472
No I won't! I'll be stayin' indoors
to enjoy meself with me family!
113
00:06:42,473 --> 00:06:43,873
Here...
114
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,880
Hello, Sidney, we're all ready.
115
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:53,859
Which one's got the kitchen sink?
116
00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:56,819
It's self-catering,
we can't go empty handed.
117
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:59,419
I don't think anyone can accuse us
of being empty handed.
118
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:02,739
Tell you what, 'ave a cuppa
before I run yer to station.
119
00:07:02,740 --> 00:07:04,579
Very kind of you, Sidney.
120
00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:06,679
Least I can do.
121
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:11,339
It's good to help someone get away,
I feel like the Scarlet Pimpernel!
122
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:12,519
Where's... er?
123
00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:16,020
Him? He's sulking!
He's dawdling behind.
124
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:29,080
Oh, my God, the midget Haystacks!
125
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:31,559
What's 'e laughin' at me for?
126
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,379
Nobody's laughing at YOU,
it's all in your mind.
127
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:38,439
Why should anyone laugh at YOU?
128
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,700
Don't forget we've
to reorder some...
129
00:07:47,020 --> 00:07:49,879
There, SHE'S at it now!
130
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,899
I'm not wearin' this! No, no -
Keep it on, it suits you.
131
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,140
NOBODY'S laughing at you.
132
00:07:56,660 --> 00:07:58,439
How's it look, Norm?
133
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:02,500
Well, it looks sort of...
weatherproof.
134
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,479
Nobody's laughin' at yer.
135
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,419
Why should anyone be
laughin' at you?
136
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,780
THEY are! THEY'RE laughin'!
137
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,899
No, it's an all-weather coat -
German Generals used to wear them.
138
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,699
That's why they lost!
139
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:25,019
It's your luggage they'll
be laughin' at.
140
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,739
Ho! Ho! Ho!
141
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,399
What's wrong wi' me luggage?
142
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,399
It looks like fish
and chips - TWICE!
143
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,039
I've told yer,
me new suit's in there!
144
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,259
We'll say we're taking him
away for Christmas!
145
00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:40,099
We take ONE every Christmas!
146
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,779
We'd ALL love to spend it with 'im!
147
00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:47,080
Would you Ivy? Under this?
Git in that kitchen!
148
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,939
What are your plans for
Christmas, Sid?
149
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:03,179
None o' THAT! The house'll
be full of 'er relatives.
150
00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:04,259
What about Boxin' Day?
151
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,579
MY relatives!
152
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:07,359
Well, keep yer chins up!
153
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,340
AAAAH!
Don't go to pieces. I'll try!
154
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:19,019
It's... er, gone quiet!
155
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,699
Is he all right, d'you think?
156
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:23,039
Shouldn't you go and see?
157
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,920
You don't interrupt our
lass when she's busy!
158
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:32,920
Y'can't keep 'old of
'im in that coat!
159
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:39,700
Y'think you've got 'old of 'im and
all you've got is a bit of coat!
160
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:45,419
And suddenly 'e comes
at yer from another angle!
161
00:09:45,420 --> 00:09:46,300
Which angle?
162
00:09:46,301 --> 00:09:49,479
Never you mind which angle!
163
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:53,579
I don't care what they
say about Christmas...
164
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:55,980
it's not all bad!
165
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,039
What were you doing in there?
Nothin' much!
166
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,299
I can't keep me balance
in this coat!
167
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:07,499
It ruins all me best moves!
168
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,500
Not ALL!
169
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,620
Looks like we're goin' Norm!
170
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:51,319
Charming!
171
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:55,840
You'll be sorry if it turns out
I'm an eccentric millionaire.
172
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:11,680
By 'eck! It's warm in 'ere.
173
00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:16,699
Keep it on!
174
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:19,479
It's like a greenhouse in 'ere!
175
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,400
Well, sit down and try to
keep your roots covered.
176
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,759
Warm in 'ere missus! Eh?
177
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,619
Thank you, driver!
We can manage now.
178
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:33,659
DRIVER?
179
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:39,699
Don't worry - Sometimes he
gets ideas above his station - Not THIS station.
180
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,120
HOI! HEY! Terribly sorry!
181
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:49,839
I AM sorry! Somebody must
have nudged me arm...
182
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:54,059
Yes, that's it - Some fool
must have nudged me arm.
183
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:57,259
This one must be yours.
184
00:11:57,260 --> 00:12:00,899
Look at the state of this! And this!
185
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,119
Shut up!
186
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,459
Don't tell ME to shut up!
187
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:05,539
I didn't!
188
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:06,340
I 'eard!
189
00:12:06,341 --> 00:12:09,359
I 'eard 'im!
I was telling HIM to shut up!
190
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,719
Charmin'! Comes in 'ere
an' shreds yer paper.
191
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,319
And tells yer to shut up!
192
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,680
That's MY page 'e's given yer!
193
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:21,599
Well, thank you Driver
- We can manage now!
194
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:25,119
People come in here and wrap
their papers round your rod!
195
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,600
Hey you! Hey! Watch it!
196
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,919
We're goin' away for Christmas.
197
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,220
Really!
198
00:12:44,540 --> 00:12:46,939
You won't be needing that!
199
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:50,719
Oh, well! If she
don't mind, I don't!
200
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,500
Come on! Behave yourself,
will you?
201
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,779
We take him away every
year for a few days...
202
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,399
it gives his nurse a rest!
203
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:08,439
He's lying! I'm an
eccentric millionaire!
204
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,959
Just a few days by the sea -
we take a little cottage.
205
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,639
'We take a little cottage,
you know' - OUCH!
206
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,339
It's quite remote
and very peaceful.
207
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:22,939
I had a cousin like that!
208
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:25,020
She painted butterflies.
209
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:31,660
Not on paper, I mean
REAL butterflies!
210
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,599
We're taking this friend
this year as well.
211
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:42,739
It's just "inches from the sea"
- No walking, miles to the water.
212
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:44,639
Just "inches from the sea".
213
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,060
We want platform 5.
Oh John! Thank God!
214
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,660
Where have you been?
215
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,499
Oh, this isn't mine.
216
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,500
Really?
217
00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:01,380
OH no... um... er... I'm not the sort
to go around... er... What must you think? Er... it's his!
218
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:09,179
What I can't stand
about travelling is strangers who start conversations with you.
219
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:10,519
Come back you!
220
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,160
I've never seen that man
before in my life!
221
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:20,059
'E come in 'ere flashin' 'is
mistletoe an' interferin' with these gents newspapers.
222
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,099
Yeah!
That's right! 'E's the one!
223
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:24,539
You've been interfering
with my wife! No, no, no!
224
00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:26,780
That's right!
'E did it! 'E's the one!
225
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,719
Does 'e know yer
train's signalled? Don't worry!
226
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,060
E'll be comin' fast
any second now!
227
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,780
I'll say this for Foggy -
'E soon gets to know people!
228
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,739
This is somewhere
I've never been before!
229
00:15:44,740 --> 00:15:46,579
The end of the world!
230
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:51,519
I want a quiet Christmas -
I had enough excitement in that waiting-room!
231
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,699
Where am I gonna use my
mistletoe round 'ere?
232
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:55,939
It's not THAT kind of Christmas!
233
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:58,119
NOW 'e tells me!
234
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,659
Which way? This way!
235
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:04,379
How far?
Not to worry! We'll pick up a lift.
236
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:08,999
What from?
Well, if you're going to look for difficulties!
237
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:15,700
Listen Noddy, the only vehicle
we're likely to see around here is a REINDEER.
238
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:36,220
Down there.
239
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,179
Merry Christmas!
240
00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:53,940
Happy New Year!
241
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:12,259
Look at the view! This is going
to be our best Christmas ever!
242
00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:16,659
Just the 3 of us, the elements
and all this space.
243
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:23,920
Space? We're runnin' out of space!
It's like livin' on top of somebody's wardrobe!
244
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:29,540
I wonder if Argentina's
claiming this lot?
245
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,559
How're we gonna get
out for a drink?
246
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,799
You don't think
I'm a complete fool?
247
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:39,699
No, but I'll give yer
full marks for trying!
248
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,739
We'll be alright in the cottage.
249
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:49,740
There's transport provided
for guests - Can I pick 'em, or can I pick 'em?
250
00:17:55,480 --> 00:18:00,519
What a situation!
It's exhilarating, isn't it?
251
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,140
I must say the air's fresh...
252
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:08,799
and what a lot there is of it!
253
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,419
Just look at that view!
254
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,299
Marvellous, man!
255
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,319
It's for nothing!
256
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:18,340
Just look! One big wave and
we'll land up in 'Olland!
257
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,420
We're not gonna sink, are we?
258
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,840
Of course it won't sink!
259
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,480
It's not!
260
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,200
Well say something!
Tell us it's not!
261
00:19:17,380 --> 00:19:24,639
Of course not - Ours is a COTTAGE
It says so in the brochure - "Beechview Holiday Cottage".
262
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,879
Wow! I thought for a moment...
263
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,999
I know! Me 'eart
sank to me wellies!
264
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,200
Bet it didn't stay
long down there!
265
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:38,979
Look at it! What idiot's gonna
pay for a thing like that?
266
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:45,400
Just imagine! Some poor twonks
comin' all this way lookin' forward to their 'olidays!
267
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:51,319
I love that sentry box!
268
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,799
It's not a sentry box!
It's a... portable facility!
269
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,740
I'll always think of
it as a sentry box!
270
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:03,779
Where are you going, that man?
271
00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:08,239
I'm GOING to use the sentry box!
272
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,760
Well get a move on! We've
still got our place to find!
273
00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:21,059
YUK!
274
00:20:21,060 --> 00:20:25,779
What'a wrong with him?
Don't ask me! He just went 'YUK!'
275
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:27,660
He's no business going 'YUK!'
276
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:38,779
There must be some mistake!
277
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,679
There is! It's thee!
278
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,859
Just think! I could've been
at 'ome now full of plum duff!
279
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:48,040
Warmin' me 'ands on Nora Batty!
280
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:55,559
Well, alright - so there's not
a lot of glossy top show.
281
00:20:55,560 --> 00:21:00,459
That's true! There's NOT
a lot of glossy top show!
282
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,979
HELP! KNOCK!
You must admit it's a compact little place.
283
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:05,279
Let m'out!
284
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,979
It has every facility.
285
00:21:14,500 --> 00:21:16,659
Don't panic!
286
00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:18,979
I would if I were you!
287
00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:20,660
I'd panic!
288
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,159
You must admit, it's a
compact little place!
289
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:37,940
Oh aye! Fits like a glove!
It's very snug in 'ere!
290
00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:41,779
We'll be alright!
291
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:48,380
Yes, we are - IF we adopt
the right attitude!
292
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:55,999
Collect some driftwood -
Get a cozy fire going! Things'll look quite different!
293
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,960
They certainly do,
when yer upside down in a loo.
294
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:08,580
The key should be under the mat
It says so in the brochure.
295
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:28,880
Don't just give in
- Dig down a bit!
296
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:45,100
Alright... Alright...
Alright... ALRIGHT!
297
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,659
So! There doesn't appear
to be a key.
298
00:22:51,660 --> 00:22:54,160
Ow! Stop it! Stop, stop!
299
00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:59,199
Cafe closed then?
300
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,719
Yeah! Don't care if I
never see another turkey.
301
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:06,359
Which reminds me - How is she?
302
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:09,259
We're doin' last minute
shoppin' now.
303
00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:10,439
A've yer time for this?
304
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,359
I'll make time!
It's supposed to be Christmas!
305
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,140
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
306
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:22,319
How come you escaped
last minute shoppin'?
307
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,399
Well... What's yer secret?
308
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:29,299
I 'aven't escaped! I'm waitin'
for our lass - I was ordered to meet 'er 'ere!
309
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:37,300
Me too! Yer lead a clean life
- work 'ard, an' still y'end up doin' last minute shoppin'!
310
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:42,799
If I 'ad my time over again
I'd be a 'ippy - I really would!
311
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,679
A female bus conductress?
312
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,099
That's a clippy!
313
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:52,799
Oh, is it?
By gum, yer 'ad me wonderin' for a minute.
314
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,959
Foggy knew what 'e was doin'!
315
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,099
I suppose 'e's bound
to be right sometime!
316
00:23:58,100 --> 00:24:01,859
Goin' away for Christmas,
'e got it right that time, didn't 'e?
317
00:24:01,860 --> 00:24:05,519
You think you know people;
that you've got mates...
318
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,499
then they go missin'
just when y'need them!
319
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:12,779
It's a tactless time
of year to go off enjoyin' yerself.
320
00:24:12,780 --> 00:24:15,079
Come on!
We're not stayin' 'ere all day.
321
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,999
And YOU'VE still got
presents to get for your Donald's family.
322
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,419
He can't stand their
Donald's family...
323
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:26,599
Which means you 'ave to spend
TWICE as much to conceal it.
324
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,259
It needs so much thought,
buyin' for people yer don't like.
325
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:32,139
What did y'get 'im?
326
00:24:32,140 --> 00:24:34,800
Oh, 'e's no trouble!
327
00:24:36,260 --> 00:24:39,259
Scarf and gloves!
328
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:43,759
I used to spend more, but
y'get disheartened...
329
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:50,279
No matter what y'dress 'im in 'e
still looks an undersized idiot!
330
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:55,299
Pinin' for 'is pigeons!
What did y'give 'im?
331
00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:59,680
A wide birth,
if 'e's bought me another fancy nightie!
332
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,259
Does 'e?
333
00:25:02,260 --> 00:25:05,899
I keep tellin' 'im I'd
rather 'ave a cardigan!
334
00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:06,900
Come on!
335
00:25:09,260 --> 00:25:12,300
Absent friends - Lucky swine.
336
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,180
See if you can find
a loose window.
337
00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:30,739
Never mind - I've found one!
338
00:25:30,740 --> 00:25:31,959
Well done, Foggy...
339
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,259
very smooth!
340
00:25:34,260 --> 00:25:38,279
It's not as easy as it looks!
You have to know where to pull!
341
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:43,119
Oh, of course!
But who's climbin' in?
342
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:45,200
Funny you should say that.
Funny you should say that.
343
00:25:46,540 --> 00:25:52,879
Just... just... just a minute!
Why me?
344
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,359
Because you're dressed for it!
345
00:25:55,360 --> 00:26:00,659
Your costume's made for crawling
through scruffy places...
346
00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:01,939
that's the one!
347
00:26:01,940 --> 00:26:03,539
Now steady!
348
00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:04,740
STEADY!
349
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:11,439
Hey up! This
end needs decoratin'!
350
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:14,020
At this end too if you ask me!
351
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,279
He moves like a shadow,
doesn't 'e?
352
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,699
Go through and see if
you can open the door.
353
00:26:26,700 --> 00:26:29,099
Hey up! It smells damp in 'ere!
354
00:26:29,100 --> 00:26:30,559
It's near the sea!
355
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:34,399
A bit too near!
We'll soon get a fire going!
356
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:40,739
Look at that view! No walking
2 miles to get to the beach!
357
00:26:40,740 --> 00:26:42,740
What about the boozer?
358
00:26:43,740 --> 00:26:46,479
We've got transport here.
359
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,899
I don't book these things
without a lot of thought.
360
00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:51,339
These things aren't accidents...
361
00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:53,399
this is forward planning.
362
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,420
How many holiday cottages
offer the use of a vehicle?
363
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,259
A lifeboat.
364
00:27:05,260 --> 00:27:07,699
Well, that's even better!
365
00:27:07,700 --> 00:27:13,199
My God! What kind of tides are
there if we need a lifeboat?
366
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,100
What's wrong with this?
367
00:27:16,180 --> 00:27:20,599
It's not a lifeboat! It's here
for our convenience!
368
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:25,039
We'd be safer sailing
in THIS convenience.
369
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,100
Look at the woodwork -
That's craftsmanship!
370
00:27:29,740 --> 00:27:33,179
We'll really be able to sail now
- Get after the big stuff!
371
00:27:33,180 --> 00:27:35,179
How big?
372
00:27:35,180 --> 00:27:37,840
Or nip to the village
for provisions.
373
00:27:39,740 --> 00:27:43,659
Nip? You call that a nip?
374
00:27:43,660 --> 00:27:47,259
Or laze about... on the water!
375
00:27:47,260 --> 00:27:49,500
Come along that man!
Get thet door open!
376
00:27:50,580 --> 00:27:52,799
Come on! Get it open!
377
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,540
Open it, will you?
378
00:28:02,300 --> 00:28:04,620
It don't open properly!
379
00:28:05,660 --> 00:28:07,119
Where is 'e?
380
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:09,620
I'm under here!
381
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,560
Go and collect driftwood,
I'll get a fire going.
382
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:20,920
Go on!
383
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,140
Now, give the chimney
a good poke out.
384
00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:03,500
Hey! It's a bit wobbly!
385
00:29:04,460 --> 00:29:06,759
It's a bit wobbly!
386
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,760
It's just a bit springy
- You'll get the hang of it!
387
00:29:12,180 --> 00:29:13,580
Get on with it!
388
00:29:24,020 --> 00:29:28,299
'Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way...
389
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:31,519
Oh what fun it is to ride
on a one-horse open sleigh!
390
00:29:34,540 --> 00:29:38,500
Just what we needed -
A sunshine roof!
391
00:29:46,860 --> 00:29:49,079
Look who's dropped in!
392
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,319
Mother was right -
There IS a Father Christmas!
393
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,939
In this case,
so FAR, and no FARTHER!
394
00:29:55,940 --> 00:29:59,199
Hello, Santa! Just fill
my stocking and move on!
395
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,999
You great dozy prong!
396
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:06,820
'Great dozy prong!' That's
not Father Christmas talk!
397
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:17,400
Are you alright?
398
00:30:19,980 --> 00:30:21,500
Dunno, Norm.
399
00:30:23,660 --> 00:30:25,999
Would you check
my bits and pieces?
400
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,380
We'll check your pieces - As for
your 'bits', you're on your own!
401
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:35,039
My God! He's crippled for life!
402
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,779
I am Norm!
I'm crippled for life!
403
00:30:38,780 --> 00:30:40,379
Of course your not!
404
00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:44,540
Never mind, it's all
in a good clause!
405
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,879
Life wouldn't be the same if
I couldn't chase Nora Batty!
406
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:54,579
All the magic would go out of
my life if I couldn't chase 'er!
407
00:30:54,580 --> 00:30:57,700
I must check m'legs are mobile.
408
00:31:04,420 --> 00:31:07,299
Just watching this brings
me out in a sweat!
409
00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:10,340
Yes, it DOES seem warmer.
410
00:31:16,540 --> 00:31:22,100
When Foggy gets a fire going,
he REALLY gets one going!
411
00:31:37,620 --> 00:31:39,479
Can we go 'ome now?
412
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,880
No! I'll tell you
what we'll do...
413
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,619
we'll go home.
414
00:31:45,620 --> 00:31:48,079
No! By boat!
415
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,359
Dammit, we've paid for
the use of the boat!
416
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,460
Come on! Give me a hand.
417
00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:00,679
Let's see if we can pull 'er free.
418
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,020
Come on! All together!
419
00:32:04,060 --> 00:32:07,579
Right: 1,2,3...
420
00:32:07,580 --> 00:32:09,780
HEAVE!
421
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,380
In... out... in... out.
422
00:32:22,430 --> 00:32:26,980
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