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00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,810
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00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:19,074
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3
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,061
[upbeat music plays]
4
00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:43,075
(music) doctor, my eyes
have seen the years (music)
5
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:46,078
(music) and the slow parade
of fears (music)
6
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:47,746
(music) without crying (music)
7
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:51,417
(music) now I want to understand (music)
8
00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:55,754
(music) I have done
all that I could (music)
9
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:58,924
(music) I've seen the evil
and the good (music)
10
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,759
(music) without hiding (music)
11
00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:05,097
(music) you must help me
if you can (music)
12
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:09,768
(music) doctor, my eyes (music)
13
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,770
(music) tell me what is wrong (music)
14
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,940
(music) was I unwise (music)
15
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:21,880
(music) to leave them open
for so long? (music)
16
00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:30,255
(music) 'cause I have wandered
through this world (music)
17
00:01:30,323 --> 00:01:33,459
(music) as each moment has unfurled (music)
18
00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:35,127
(music) I've been waiting (music)
19
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:39,965
(music) to awaken
from these dreams (music)
20
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:43,135
(music) people go
just where they will (music)
21
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:46,305
(music) I never noticed them
until... (music)
22
00:01:46,372 --> 00:01:50,309
Hey. You Don't know me.
23
00:01:50,376 --> 00:01:52,911
I Don't know you.
24
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,482
Katie, voice-over:
Twice in my life,
25
00:01:56,549 --> 00:02:00,152
I've had to deliver bad news
to someone I'd never met.
26
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,653
Hey...
27
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:03,822
The first time
involved a cat
28
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:07,993
That ran out in the middle
of my driver's test.
29
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:10,329
This time
was a bit trickier.
30
00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:11,997
Hey...
31
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,932
[rings doorbell]
32
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,507
Are you waiting for me
to say something?
33
00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:22,608
No.
34
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:27,112
I Don't know
where to start.
35
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:30,115
Well, why Don't you start
from the beginning?
36
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:32,017
Ok. Ok. Um...
37
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,620
[telephone rings]
38
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,522
[music playing loudly]
39
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:37,956
Hello.
40
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:41,527
What?
41
00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:43,529
Grandma.
42
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:46,031
Turn that down!
43
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:48,033
Grandma, what's the matter?
44
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,536
Katie: My grandfather
always told me--
45
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,538
Never pick up the phone
on the first ring.
46
00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:53,872
What?
47
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,874
Katie:
And now he was dead.
48
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,043
What? What happened?
49
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,712
I was the first one
my grandmother called.
50
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:02,881
I waited until
I could see straight
51
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,950
Before I broke the news
to my dad.
52
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,052
He's sort of
a famous actor.
53
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,389
You may remember him
as the spiffy peanut butter kid.
54
00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:13,058
My dad's the one
with the spoon in his mouth.
55
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,726
What is it, son?
56
00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:17,062
Something is stuck
to my tongue.
57
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:18,564
[laughter]
58
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:22,334
Must be weird to have
your career peak at 8.
59
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,404
Hey, folks.
60
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,406
How many towels can I get
for you today?
61
00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:29,141
How many
have you got?
62
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,244
Katie: Now he works mostly
in obscure foreign films.
63
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:35,080
All right, but...
64
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,616
Only if I can watch.
65
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:40,252
Man: Keep looking
at them.
66
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,122
That's it. Oh, yeah.
Get turned on.
67
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:46,258
He's removing her clothes.
He's massaging her breasts.
68
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,960
Let me see that
in your eyes.
69
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:52,064
You're surprised.
Down go her pants. Ah!
70
00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:53,599
Maybe you're gonna
get caught.
71
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,434
They're not supposed
to be doing that.
72
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,302
[ring]
I'm sorry. That's me.
73
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,837
Hello.
Don't answer that.
74
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,272
Look sexy.
75
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:01,940
Oh, hey, sweetie.
76
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,308
Smoky eyes...
77
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:04,977
I want to see envy.
You want to be that guy.
78
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,111
What?
79
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,113
You want it.
80
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,048
He did?
81
00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:11,383
That's it.
Touch yourself.
82
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:14,119
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
83
00:04:14,187 --> 00:04:16,455
I'll call them.
I'll call them.
84
00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:18,190
Dearest judge--
85
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,491
Excuse me?
86
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,426
My client...
87
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,262
Name?
88
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,463
Uh...Lace.
89
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:26,131
Miss lace...
90
00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:29,968
Was engaged
in a consensual servicing
91
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:33,138
Of an entrapable member.
92
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,641
Are you an attorney?
93
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:37,676
Touch�, your highness.
94
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,012
[cell phone ringing]
95
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:50,956
Talk to me.
96
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,224
Counselor.
97
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,493
What?
98
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,194
Whoa.
99
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:59,164
Ok. Now put
the eggs down
100
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:02,267
Without breaking them
and without using your hands.
101
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,172
Come on, guys. We're--
102
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,840
What's he doing?
103
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,342
Watch.
104
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:15,047
We Don't have time
for this, guys. All right?
105
00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:16,948
No good
can come of this.
106
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:21,019
Nice. Can we go now?
107
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,354
Do a shoulder stand.
108
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,356
Guys, come on.
We've got this funeral.
109
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,091
Grandpa's not
going anywhere.
110
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,626
Get in the car.
111
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:30,862
Get the bowl onto the table
without spilling.
112
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,030
[crash]
113
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:33,265
Oh...
114
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,200
This is why
your mother left us.
115
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,702
She was a hack.
116
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,370
I've seen better
moms on TV.
117
00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:39,871
I know.
118
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,540
I Don't even know
why we're going.
119
00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:43,041
I mean,
he was your dad.
120
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,543
Maybe he left
you something.
121
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,378
Probably left it
all to wifey.
122
00:05:46,446 --> 00:05:47,546
Nana.
123
00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:49,948
I know.
124
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,550
He picked
the perfect time
125
00:05:51,617 --> 00:05:54,052
For this one,
didn't he? Huh?
126
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,254
Huh, Burt?
127
00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:59,057
You know it's 2 weeks
before his birthday,
128
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:01,226
The one day that was
more important to him
129
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,928
Than his goddamn job,
130
00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:06,298
And now he's managed
to fuck this up, too.
131
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,133
Sorry.
132
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,401
[sighs]
133
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,503
Nice work, pop.
134
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,672
Is everybody coming?
135
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:18,510
Yeah. The asylum
Will be full.
136
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:21,279
I can't believe grandpa's
not gonna be there.
137
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,348
I know, sweetie.
138
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:25,917
[beep]
139
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,586
You're doing
the right thing.
140
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:30,155
You're fully
experiencing the loss.
141
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,425
And when you're ready,
take a deep breath in...
142
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,760
[inhales deeply]
143
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:36,094
Like that.
144
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:37,763
Try to really maximize
the feeling.
145
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,331
Feel it
really intensely.
146
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,266
And then
as you exhale...
147
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,768
[exhales]
148
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:45,771
Just try to let
those feelings go, ok?
149
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:48,073
He just died.
150
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:50,275
Yeah...I know.
151
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,277
But believe me,
it's the way
152
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:54,446
Your grandfather
would have wanted it.
153
00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,348
To be dead?
154
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:33,919
Oh, where can she be?
155
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,490
Where's my little
tubby turtle?
156
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:41,460
I'm not a turtle.
I'm Katie.
157
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:43,328
Well, I'm looking
for someone
158
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:44,830
To help me eat...
159
00:07:44,897 --> 00:07:46,665
I will, pom pom.
160
00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,266
A hot-fudge sundae.
161
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,937
You ok?
162
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:55,273
Come on. Let's go
find your grandmother.
163
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,348
Don't see why
you want to wait.
164
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,850
[door opens]
165
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,518
They have
a right to know.
166
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,854
No. It's
my decision now.
167
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,355
Fair enough.
168
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:11,857
Man: Hello? Mom?
169
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:14,192
You have an appointment
with the parson tomorrow.
170
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,694
I Don't think so.
171
00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:17,229
Man: There she is.
172
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:18,864
Danny boy.
173
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:20,365
Hey, Lance.
174
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,933
Good to see
you, son.
175
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,034
Grandma.
176
00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:24,769
Oh, baby.
177
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,371
Oh...
You know what?
178
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,707
He loved you
and your daddy
179
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:32,210
More than anybody
else in the family.
180
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:34,045
I know that's
not true, but thanks.
181
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:35,514
No. Really.
182
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,048
He couldn't even
remember the names
183
00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:38,850
Of his other 2
children.
184
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:40,085
3 children.
185
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:42,621
Oh. Always thinking
of others.
186
00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:45,557
Hey, mom.
187
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,726
Woman: Burt.
Burt, did you grab...
188
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,928
I have to go.
189
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,596
Are you sure
you're ok?
190
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,899
I feel as if I
finally have a Chance
191
00:08:53,966 --> 00:08:56,101
To do something
with my life.
192
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,302
Good.
193
00:08:58,804 --> 00:08:59,905
Aah!
194
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:01,740
Alice.
Glad to see you.
195
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:03,909
Lance.
Katie, Katie, Katie.
196
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,912
Oh, Alice. What
are we gonna do?
197
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:10,081
I think I'll just
take my old room
198
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,216
And then...Danny.
199
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,918
Hey, Alice.
200
00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:15,587
Oh, I was just waiting
to see you on television, huh?
201
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,255
Well, you may not
have to wait very long.
202
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,590
I actually--
203
00:09:18,658 --> 00:09:20,125
Right. I'm just--
mother...
204
00:09:20,192 --> 00:09:22,260
God! I'm trying
to get to the sorrow.
205
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,564
I really am, but I
still feel so angry.
206
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:28,433
I mean, I want to just
grab him and shake him
207
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,502
And say,
"how dare you?
208
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,771
"how dare you go
out that back door
209
00:09:32,838 --> 00:09:34,940
"with your little
suitcase?
210
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:38,743
I mean, where in god's name
are you going this time?"
211
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:46,117
I'm ok, though.
I'm ok. I'm sorry.
212
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:49,321
Oh! I've never heard
you say that word.
213
00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:55,060
Well, we Don't have to make
a talk show out of it, do we?
214
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,795
Burt!
215
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:59,965
Don't tarry.
Don't tarry.
216
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:02,300
Hi, Burt.
Hi, kids.
217
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,368
Hey, Burt.
218
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,470
We've had a very
difficult trip.
219
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,472
So we should probably
just consider
220
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:08,974
What everybody
wants to eat,
221
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,376
And that way, we can
just make one dish
222
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,144
That suits the group...
223
00:10:13,212 --> 00:10:15,146
Katie, voice-over:
Alice and her husband Burt
224
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:17,849
Had managed to produce
3 silent children.
225
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,485
Alice: My tribe only eats
bread and American cheese
226
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,654
In various forms,
so I mean...
227
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:26,257
I could make this dish
I think everybody might enjoy,
228
00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:28,159
This little casserole
that I like to make.
229
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:29,828
I'm sort of famous
around my house for making it.
230
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,564
Have you said hello
to your grandmother?
231
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:36,034
Let me take a look
at you three.
232
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,169
Stop looking like
she's gonna bite you.
233
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:39,738
She's not gonna
bite you.
234
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,540
Stop it. Stop feigning
those fake little twitches
235
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:44,009
That you're doing.
We've talked...
236
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,477
Katie, voice-over:
My grandmother always said
237
00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:47,345
She wished Alice
came with a mute button.
238
00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,514
Alice: If you think
it's any better
239
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,016
At any of your
friends' house,
240
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,517
If you think it's any
better at their house,
241
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,185
You can just pack your bags
and move in with them.
242
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:55,186
[no audio]
243
00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:56,187
[doorbell rings]
244
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,223
Ah, that's better.
245
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,360
All right,
treat everybody
246
00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:04,362
With respect, ok?
Let's try not to be
247
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,364
The biggest freaks
in the circus.
248
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,033
What the hell
is that supposed to mean?
249
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,035
He wants us to say,
"no, thank you,"
250
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:12,037
Instead of
"eat my ass Jell-O."
251
00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:13,538
Hey, stop it.
All right?
252
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:14,873
Stop it,
for Christ�s sakes.
253
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,375
Where do you guys
learn that shit?
254
00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:20,545
Mom...
Sorry about dad.
255
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,347
Yeah...Mmm...
256
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,016
You remember
the boys.
257
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,519
How could I forget them?
258
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:28,720
Hey, g.
259
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:30,255
So, what did he
leave us?
260
00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:32,257
Your grandfather's will
won't be read
261
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:34,225
Until after the funeral.
262
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:35,960
Talk about
being early.
263
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,564
Seriously, man.
264
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,232
God, dude.
You always hit me first.
265
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,801
He pushed me.
266
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,235
Hey, skipper.
267
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,570
Hey.
268
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:49,541
Alice: Oh, why do terrible
things always come in threes?
269
00:11:49,608 --> 00:11:51,976
I see Alice is already
rifling through the drawers.
270
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,578
No. I'm looking
for ingredients.
271
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,281
I'm going to make us
all dinner tonight.
272
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:57,615
Hmm...
273
00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,250
Hey, uncle skip.
274
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:00,752
Hey. Hi.
275
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,253
Hey, boys.
276
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:03,688
Hi, Katie.
277
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,425
Katie, voice-over:
Uncle skip and the twins
278
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:09,427
Were a little heavy
with hormones,
279
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,763
But they were
at those ages.
280
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:14,232
I used to have
an aunt Lily, too,
281
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:16,601
But they scared her away.
282
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,603
Family legend
says it was
283
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:21,106
The night before
their eleventh birthday.
284
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,441
What the hell
is that?
285
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,443
It's your birthday cake.
286
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:28,046
I was hoping it
would be a surprise.
287
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,280
I'm more
than surprised.
288
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:30,615
I'm shocked.
289
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,117
This isn't
what we ordered.
290
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:34,119
You Don't order
your mother.
291
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:36,121
I spent 2 days making--
292
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:38,256
We ordered an erotic
cheesecake.
293
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:39,791
Excuse me?
294
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:40,925
You're excused.
295
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:43,228
We'll fix it.
296
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:47,999
Oh, no. Oh, god.
297
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:51,302
[Lily crying]
298
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,139
Oh...What?
299
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:56,040
What?
300
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,046
They ruined it.
301
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:04,983
They ruined it.
302
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:08,153
Well, it is
their birthday, right?
303
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:10,822
Where did they
even hear the term
304
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,791
"erotic cheesecake"?
305
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,993
Somebody's got to teach them
these things, right?
306
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:17,595
What..."things"?
307
00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:20,732
That you can make
a cheesecake
308
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,501
Look like
disembodied breasts?
309
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,572
Or an ass.
310
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,107
[piano playing]
311
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,353
Katie, sweetheart,
I want you
312
00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:44,689
To eulogize
your grandfather.
313
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:47,759
Oh, grandma, I Don't think
I can make a speech.
314
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,861
I wouldn't know
what to say.
315
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,697
If it were me,
I would want you
316
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:57,035
To say something
that made some...
317
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:59,704
Sense
out of my life,
318
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:02,173
Something
that honored me.
319
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,843
Hey, what about dad?
320
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,377
Or skip? Or Lucy?
321
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:08,213
Your grandfather
wanted you.
322
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,881
And you boys
are going to
323
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:11,749
Have to help
with the burial.
324
00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:15,386
Your father left
very specific instructions.
325
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:16,821
Ok.
326
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:19,691
Hi, everybody.
327
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:21,226
Hey, ladies.
328
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,560
You remember skip?
329
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:23,728
Yeah.
330
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,063
And these are
his 2 boys...
331
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,598
Tim and Jim?
332
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:27,765
Close enough.
333
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,567
Hi, guys. I'm, uh...
334
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:31,135
Lucy's life partner,
Judy.
335
00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:35,073
Lesbians.
Lesbians.
336
00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:38,743
Alice: I really can't
believe you brought her.
337
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,912
Hello, Alice.
338
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,948
No, it's just I thought
you'd come alone. It's family.
339
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:45,383
Are you starting
already?
340
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:47,585
Oh, no. It just...
It didn't occur to me
341
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,387
To bring my sex toys.
Did you bring any sex toys?
342
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,589
You wouldn't know
a sex toy
343
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,825
If it left a battery
in your vagina.
344
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,827
Oh. My vagina,
as you were
345
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,929
So whimsically about
to refer to it,
346
00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:00,098
Has served
as sacred passage
347
00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:02,600
For 3 anatomically
correct children.
348
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:04,636
So...
349
00:15:04,703 --> 00:15:07,138
Bad image.
Erase, erase.
350
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:08,673
So, who needs a drink?
351
00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:11,376
Let's drink.
352
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,015
Katie, voice-over:
My family still observes
353
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:19,717
The cocktail hour...
With a vengeance.
354
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,636
This isn't
about you, so...
355
00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:42,640
Are you talking
to the sex toy?
356
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,810
I'm sure you're
a very nice...Lesbian.
357
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,979
Is that
the preferred term?
358
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,315
No. No.
We prefer "whore."
359
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:54,986
I think all women do
these days.
360
00:15:55,054 --> 00:15:56,821
Well...
361
00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,924
I guess I owe you
an apology.
362
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,964
Are you working
up to it?
363
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,338
So...
364
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:16,841
What do you girls do?
365
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,812
What do you mean,
"what do we do"?
366
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,549
For fun.
367
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:28,252
We eat out,
go to the movies.
368
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,021
Oh, normal stuff.
369
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,856
Drinks.
370
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,358
Ladies.
371
00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:34,859
Thank you.
372
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,362
Thank you.
373
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,397
What did you
think we did?
374
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,532
No, I didn't have a...
375
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,534
I wasn't thinking
of something,
376
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:46,437
And I just...I...
377
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:50,441
I Don't know
what you do.
378
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,210
Do you think
we spend all night
379
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:53,845
Triple-tonguing
our cheese pots?
380
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:55,079
Ah...
381
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,719
It's my father's funeral,
382
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,721
So if you could
muster up
383
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:06,657
Just a little bit of respect,
that would be...
384
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:10,561
Don't worry...You know.
Don't worry about Alice.
385
00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:14,065
You think she's gone,
she comes back, you know...
386
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,867
Like herpes.
387
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,403
Thanks, skip.
388
00:17:18,470 --> 00:17:21,572
So, how are you
and Lucy doing?
389
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,408
Well, I mean...
390
00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:26,411
This is just awful.
391
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:29,080
I know. I hate being
around my family, too.
392
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,581
Oh.
393
00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:32,917
Yeah. But, I mean...
394
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:36,587
How are you doing...
You know...
395
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:38,356
Physically?
396
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,558
Physically?
397
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,894
Well, yeah. I mean,
like you said...What is it?
398
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:44,395
Triple-tonguing.
What is that?
399
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:47,231
Is that a thing...
What are you doing?
400
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,300
Go talk
to your mother.
401
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,968
You talk to her.
She's a downer.
402
00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:52,336
She's a widow.
403
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,038
She was
a downer first.
404
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,606
Just go talk
to your mother.
405
00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:56,941
Excuse me.
406
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:58,109
Ok.
407
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,444
Do you need
a punch?
408
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:00,778
Do you want me
to punch you?
409
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,080
You have
real problems.
410
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,614
You Don't do that.
You Don't throw
411
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:05,149
A lemon at me
in front of a lesbian.
412
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:06,951
Nice going.
413
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,120
Danny: Me nice going?
"the triple-tongue thing"?
414
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:10,521
Hi.
415
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:17,161
My dad died
when I was 11.
416
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:19,397
Oh.
417
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:20,965
I'm sorry.
418
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:23,134
I Don't know
why I said that.
419
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,639
What size are you?
420
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,074
Me?
421
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,848
Come upstairs.
422
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:39,617
This is the dress
I wore on the boardwalk
423
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:42,186
In 1956.
424
00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:45,022
It's...
It's so elegant.
425
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:47,758
It's yours.
I wore it once.
426
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:49,494
It was
a great night,
427
00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:51,496
Maybe the best
night of my life.
428
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:52,964
It's a lucky dress.
429
00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:54,499
I couldn't.
430
00:18:54,566 --> 00:18:56,200
Oh, please.
431
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,668
Take them all.
432
00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:00,004
I know we Haven't spent
that much time together,
433
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,839
But I already know
I like you better
434
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:03,541
Than I like Alice.
435
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,009
Ha ha!
436
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:09,113
And besides, Katie
and Lucy aren't my size.
437
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,450
Thank you.
438
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,454
[[indistinct conversation]
439
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,227
[stammers]
440
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:26,697
It's a little bit
runnier than usual.
441
00:19:26,765 --> 00:19:29,867
Think I just didn't
put--move it.
442
00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:32,703
Put enough
cheese in it.
443
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:36,541
This looks like it fell
out of a horse.
444
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:40,044
Thanks, but I already had
my mucus course for the day.
445
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,712
Listen. You shut
your spit cave,
446
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:43,047
You foul-mouthed
little shit fucker
447
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,349
Before I beat the living
snot out of you.
448
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:48,686
I'm going down to doc's
to pick up some lobster,
449
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:49,687
If anyone wants in.
450
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,055
Yes, please.
Good idea.
451
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:52,723
Yeah, it's
a good idea.
452
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:55,393
Get some big ones
with big meaty claws.
453
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,728
As a side dish,
it's fine.
454
00:19:57,796 --> 00:19:58,729
Well...
455
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:05,069
God, it's so good
to get out of there.
456
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:08,105
Katie, it's good
to see you.
457
00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:11,976
Oh, Luce, I'm so sorry.
458
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,078
Yeah. Well, it's ok.
459
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,746
Nobody else
in the family
460
00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:17,715
Seems to give
a crap.
461
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,584
Yeah, I've noticed.
462
00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:21,085
So, you coming?
463
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,320
Where?
464
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,921
To the wedding.
465
00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:25,590
What wedding?
466
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,959
Isn't that what
you're sorry for?
467
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:29,627
I'm sorry about grandpa.
468
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:34,165
Oh, Katie, nobody
blames you.
469
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,933
Two
for dinner?
470
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,935
No. I called in
an order for Collins.
471
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:39,604
Let me check
on that for you.
472
00:20:39,671 --> 00:20:41,272
What wedding?
473
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,341
Judy and I are
getting married.
474
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:44,775
Really?
475
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:46,777
Vows
and everything.
476
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:48,312
Congratulations.
477
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:50,114
I sent you
an invitation.
478
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,616
No, you didn't.
479
00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:53,117
It's ok. Everybody
in the family
480
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,619
Is pretending
they didn't get it.
481
00:20:54,686 --> 00:20:55,953
I didn't get one.
482
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:57,822
I distinctly
remember weeding
483
00:20:57,889 --> 00:21:00,024
The family invites
out early. No.
484
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,293
I went to the...
485
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:03,861
I put them...
Wait.
486
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,297
I mailed them.
I know it.
487
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:07,465
Ah!
488
00:21:07,532 --> 00:21:10,134
I am such
a bonehead!
489
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:14,905
Stupid! Stupid!
Stupid! Oh! Well...
490
00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:16,974
Here you go.
491
00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:18,309
What are you doing
down there?
492
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:19,477
It's Ryan.
493
00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:21,912
Little Ryan
from the be--aah!
494
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,716
What are you doing?
He could hear you!
495
00:21:32,524 --> 00:21:33,658
Hi.
496
00:21:33,725 --> 00:21:35,192
Katie, voice-over:
Little Ryan...
497
00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:37,094
My childhood friend.
498
00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:40,665
Since before
I can remember,
499
00:21:40,732 --> 00:21:43,000
We spent our summers
together.
500
00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:46,837
(music) two fire-filled
car mats (music)
501
00:21:46,905 --> 00:21:50,007
(music) never could
heed that warning (music)
502
00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:52,743
(music) stay in the Sky (music)
503
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:55,346
Katie, voice-over: He always
acted like he had a crush on me,
504
00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:58,582
And I always acted
like I didn't notice.
505
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:01,352
It seemed like nothing could
ever come between us...
506
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:05,523
Until the last night
of last Summer.
507
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:10,061
(music) a peculiar ride (music)
508
00:22:10,128 --> 00:22:16,033
(music) 'cause this is
our last Chance (music)
509
00:22:16,101 --> 00:22:20,871
(music) and to that big mistake (music)
510
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:26,711
(music) we are bound to make (music)
511
00:22:26,778 --> 00:22:28,713
Katie, voice-over:
His parents were off
512
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:30,715
Camping somewhere
with his little brother,
513
00:22:30,782 --> 00:22:32,717
And everything
was perfect--
514
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:34,719
The flicker
of the candlelight,
515
00:22:34,786 --> 00:22:38,222
The gentle dancing
of the rain on the roof,
516
00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:41,325
The familiar sound
of a car door slamming.
517
00:22:41,393 --> 00:22:42,860
[car door slams]
518
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:50,368
Katie. Katie. Katie!
519
00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:53,904
Katie, voice-over:
I never meant
520
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:55,740
For anything
to happen between us.
521
00:22:55,807 --> 00:22:57,742
I couldn't let there be
any witnesses.
522
00:22:57,809 --> 00:22:59,744
Woman: I could
heat up some lasagna
523
00:22:59,811 --> 00:23:01,579
If you boys
are hungry.
524
00:23:01,646 --> 00:23:03,547
Oh, hi...Katie.
525
00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,352
Nice to see
you again.
526
00:23:14,993 --> 00:23:17,261
Let's hear it.
527
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:18,329
No.
528
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:19,663
Come on.
Do it.
529
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:20,931
No.
530
00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:22,600
One last time.
531
00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:24,101
Ok.
532
00:23:24,169 --> 00:23:26,537
This one's
for dad.
533
00:23:30,008 --> 00:23:32,009
Something is stuck
to my tongue.
534
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,344
Oh! There it is.
535
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,478
Wow.
536
00:23:34,546 --> 00:23:36,647
If I ever...
537
00:23:36,715 --> 00:23:38,115
Single bullet.
538
00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:39,817
To my left eye.
539
00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:42,486
This is a good time.
540
00:23:42,554 --> 00:23:43,788
How can this be
a good time?
541
00:23:43,855 --> 00:23:45,122
Your dad just died.
542
00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:47,458
My family could use
a little good news.
543
00:23:47,526 --> 00:23:49,660
Trust me.
544
00:23:49,728 --> 00:23:54,298
Hey, everyone,
I have an announcement to make.
545
00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:56,300
We sent out
some invitations--
546
00:23:56,368 --> 00:23:58,302
Or at least,
I thought we did--
547
00:23:58,370 --> 00:24:00,971
And I was actually getting
pretty angry at all of you.
548
00:24:01,039 --> 00:24:03,307
I suspected
some sort of--ah.
549
00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:05,810
Anyway, myself and Judy--
550
00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:08,479
"Judy and I."
551
00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:10,481
Judy and I would like to--
552
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:12,316
[sniffles]
553
00:24:12,384 --> 00:24:14,118
What is it, Fred?
554
00:24:14,186 --> 00:24:15,786
It's Ted.
Ha ha ha!
555
00:24:15,854 --> 00:24:17,154
What are you
laughing at?
556
00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:18,489
I Don't know.
557
00:24:18,557 --> 00:24:20,157
But I can't wait
to find out what
558
00:24:20,225 --> 00:24:21,859
You 2 vaginiuses
are up to.
559
00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:23,194
What did you
just say?
560
00:24:23,261 --> 00:24:24,728
Nice vocab word.
561
00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:26,497
What did he
just call us?
562
00:24:26,565 --> 00:24:27,598
Vaginiuses.
563
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:29,700
It's a compound
compliment.
564
00:24:29,768 --> 00:24:31,335
You see what
I put up with?
565
00:24:31,403 --> 00:24:33,504
How can you tell me not to
scream my fucking head off?
566
00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:34,939
You're
losing it.
567
00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:37,174
No! These are the people
that you want at our wedding?
568
00:24:37,242 --> 00:24:39,677
Oh, is one of you
getting married?
569
00:24:39,744 --> 00:24:40,678
We both are.
570
00:24:40,745 --> 00:24:42,680
To who?
571
00:24:42,747 --> 00:24:45,015
To each other.
572
00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:47,251
Ha ha ha.
573
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,352
Awesome!
574
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:50,221
How many friends
can we bring?
575
00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:53,224
Alice: Ha ha ha.
576
00:24:53,291 --> 00:24:55,826
Oh, this is so rich.
577
00:24:55,894 --> 00:24:57,962
Katie: I think
it's great.
578
00:24:58,029 --> 00:24:59,697
Very great.
579
00:24:59,764 --> 00:25:01,932
Congratulations,
really.
580
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,868
So, where's
the wedding happening?
581
00:25:03,935 --> 00:25:05,836
In a dream?
582
00:25:05,904 --> 00:25:08,439
No, Alice.
In a town hall.
583
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:12,376
Oh. Look, I just think
it's sad, all right?
584
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:15,346
Two women pretending
to be married.
585
00:25:15,413 --> 00:25:17,214
I pretended I was married
for 12 years.
586
00:25:17,282 --> 00:25:18,716
And I think that
marriage is based
587
00:25:18,783 --> 00:25:20,551
On commitment
and communication
588
00:25:20,619 --> 00:25:23,254
And not necessarily
the presence of a penis.
589
00:25:23,321 --> 00:25:24,388
Thank you.
590
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:26,390
Excuse me. My children
are here, all right?
591
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:27,958
Watch your language.
592
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:30,394
What, are you worried
they're gonna repeat it?
593
00:25:30,462 --> 00:25:33,397
Burt, are you
gonna stand for this?
594
00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:34,899
Do you hear
what's going on here?
595
00:25:34,966 --> 00:25:37,601
[Burt laughing]
596
00:25:37,669 --> 00:25:39,069
I...Uh...
597
00:25:39,137 --> 00:25:42,406
Burt. Burt.
I mean...
598
00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:43,908
At least Burt
and me know
599
00:25:43,975 --> 00:25:45,409
How we're supposed
to fit together.
600
00:25:45,477 --> 00:25:46,577
"Burt and I."
601
00:25:46,645 --> 00:25:47,745
Is that what this
is all about?
602
00:25:47,812 --> 00:25:49,246
Is that what everyone
in this fucked-up family
603
00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:51,015
Needs to know--
how we go together?
604
00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:54,084
Well, we often start
by gently kissing...
605
00:25:54,152 --> 00:25:55,986
Oh, I am not
doing this.
606
00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:58,055
I said I am not
doing this.
607
00:25:58,123 --> 00:26:00,124
Fred: Aw, come back!
608
00:26:00,191 --> 00:26:02,259
Aunt Lucy was really
making her point.
609
00:26:02,327 --> 00:26:04,428
So, Luce, since you're
having people perform,
610
00:26:04,496 --> 00:26:06,430
You know, fake ceremonies
and stuff,
611
00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:08,432
Why Don't you
just have them
612
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:10,501
Announce you queen
or president?
613
00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:13,103
Shut it.
614
00:26:13,171 --> 00:26:15,105
Fred and Ted:
All right!
615
00:26:15,173 --> 00:26:17,942
Ok.
616
00:26:18,009 --> 00:26:19,944
Because, I mean,
there are programs--
617
00:26:20,011 --> 00:26:21,278
Shut your
goddamn mouth!
618
00:26:21,346 --> 00:26:23,113
Who just cast
a spell on you!
619
00:26:23,181 --> 00:26:24,582
Oh, here we go!
620
00:26:24,649 --> 00:26:26,951
Make you less afraid
of male genitalia.
621
00:26:27,018 --> 00:26:28,319
Shut it!
622
00:26:28,386 --> 00:26:29,954
Whoa! Whoa!
623
00:26:30,021 --> 00:26:31,956
When did you get
so much stronger than me?
624
00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:33,123
Shut it.
625
00:26:33,191 --> 00:26:34,458
Oh, I forgot.
You're not.
626
00:26:34,526 --> 00:26:35,526
Aah!
627
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:36,694
Table.
628
00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:37,962
Wuss.
629
00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:39,330
Oh, no.
630
00:26:39,397 --> 00:26:41,966
Whoa!
631
00:26:42,033 --> 00:26:42,900
[screaming]
632
00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:50,507
[doorbell rings]
633
00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:51,809
Guys!
634
00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:53,110
All right. That's
almost enough.
635
00:26:54,879 --> 00:26:56,480
Danny: God.
636
00:26:56,548 --> 00:26:58,482
I love this family.
637
00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:00,384
And you didn't
want to come.
638
00:27:03,388 --> 00:27:04,688
Katie, voice-over:
One thing about being
639
00:27:04,756 --> 00:27:07,157
In such
a theatrical family--
640
00:27:07,225 --> 00:27:08,826
It's easy to lose track
641
00:27:08,893 --> 00:27:11,996
Of everything that's
happening offstage.
642
00:27:12,063 --> 00:27:13,397
Grandma.
643
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:15,499
Grandma.
644
00:27:15,567 --> 00:27:16,834
Grandma.
645
00:27:16,901 --> 00:27:18,302
[knocking]
646
00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:19,637
Grandma, are you ok?
647
00:27:19,704 --> 00:27:21,005
Grandma:
I'm all right.
648
00:27:21,072 --> 00:27:22,339
Katie: Open up
the door.
649
00:27:22,407 --> 00:27:23,674
Mom.
650
00:27:23,742 --> 00:27:25,175
Clear.
What?
651
00:27:25,243 --> 00:27:26,477
Clear!
652
00:27:26,544 --> 00:27:27,911
Ow!
653
00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:31,015
Alice: What happened?
654
00:27:31,082 --> 00:27:32,683
What did you do?
655
00:27:32,751 --> 00:27:35,319
I just slipped,
and I spilled all this stuff.
656
00:27:35,387 --> 00:27:37,554
Somebody please get me
a glass of water.
657
00:27:37,622 --> 00:27:40,391
Get her some water.
658
00:27:40,458 --> 00:27:42,693
I'm fine.
Are you hurt?
659
00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:44,194
Can you get up?
660
00:27:44,262 --> 00:27:45,696
How did you fall down?
661
00:27:45,764 --> 00:27:46,930
She slipped.
662
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,001
Thank you all
so much.
663
00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:52,369
Grandma, what
are you doing?
664
00:27:52,437 --> 00:27:53,570
Mom!
I knew it!
665
00:27:53,638 --> 00:27:56,040
[P.A. Announcement]
666
00:27:56,107 --> 00:27:57,641
Stop it.
667
00:27:59,277 --> 00:28:00,711
Just stop it.
668
00:28:00,779 --> 00:28:02,546
I am not
doing anything.
669
00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:03,981
Man: Collins.
670
00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:06,216
I'm dr. Rice.
We pumped your mother's stomach.
671
00:28:06,284 --> 00:28:07,885
Alice: It was
an accident.
672
00:28:07,952 --> 00:28:09,553
How did she
accidentally chug
673
00:28:09,621 --> 00:28:11,188
Half a bottle
of sleeping pills?
674
00:28:11,256 --> 00:28:12,723
She was cleaning
them up.
675
00:28:12,791 --> 00:28:14,224
With her mouth?
676
00:28:14,292 --> 00:28:15,726
We need to keep her
for the night,
677
00:28:15,794 --> 00:28:17,394
But she's going
to be fine.
678
00:28:17,462 --> 00:28:19,396
She recently lost her husband,
and she slipped,
679
00:28:19,464 --> 00:28:21,899
And I think
she got confused with--
680
00:28:21,966 --> 00:28:24,735
Lucy? Little Lucy
toothy, is that you?
681
00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:26,236
It's been so long.
682
00:28:26,304 --> 00:28:27,604
Samantha, hi.
683
00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:30,407
Alice.
684
00:28:30,475 --> 00:28:33,444
How are you?
685
00:28:33,511 --> 00:28:35,079
Great.
Just great.
686
00:28:35,146 --> 00:28:37,548
When can we
take her home?
687
00:28:37,615 --> 00:28:38,749
Well, like I say,
just overnight,
688
00:28:38,817 --> 00:28:40,084
And then tomorrow
we'll sign her out
689
00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:41,285
And you can
take her home.
690
00:28:41,352 --> 00:28:42,753
Well, I think...
691
00:28:42,821 --> 00:28:44,588
Could you keep her
for another day,
692
00:28:44,656 --> 00:28:46,256
Just to be safe?
693
00:28:46,324 --> 00:28:48,092
Oh, my god.
694
00:28:48,159 --> 00:28:49,793
Bite me.
695
00:28:57,168 --> 00:28:59,703
[telephone rings]
696
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:02,873
Skip.
697
00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:06,543
Hey, sis. Did
they puke her?
698
00:29:08,346 --> 00:29:10,114
All right,
I'll spread it.
699
00:29:10,181 --> 00:29:12,015
All right. Bye.
700
00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:14,418
She unswallowed.
701
00:29:14,486 --> 00:29:16,620
Oh, thank god.
Poor grandma.
702
00:29:16,688 --> 00:29:18,122
Yeah.
703
00:29:18,189 --> 00:29:20,691
She just wants to be
the star of the funeral.
704
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,526
No, she doesn't.
705
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,461
Hey, Elvis killed himself
because someone
706
00:29:24,529 --> 00:29:26,697
Was gonna write a book
about his underwear wrestling.
707
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:28,966
What?
708
00:29:29,033 --> 00:29:30,400
What are you doing?
709
00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:34,805
Grandma asked me
to speak at the funeral.
710
00:29:34,873 --> 00:29:36,807
Huh. Nobody
asked me to speak.
711
00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:38,475
Do you want to?
712
00:29:38,543 --> 00:29:41,612
Because I have no idea
what to say.
713
00:29:41,679 --> 00:29:43,147
Just say...
714
00:29:43,214 --> 00:29:44,648
[sighs]
715
00:29:44,716 --> 00:29:46,316
He was away so much,
716
00:29:46,384 --> 00:29:48,318
It was weird
to have him around.
717
00:29:48,386 --> 00:29:49,820
[pouring cereal]
718
00:29:49,888 --> 00:29:52,489
I just want
to say something
719
00:29:52,557 --> 00:29:55,425
Beautiful
and poetic.
720
00:29:56,895 --> 00:29:58,662
Pop loved poetry.
721
00:29:58,730 --> 00:30:00,497
He did?
722
00:30:00,565 --> 00:30:02,666
Yeah.
723
00:30:02,734 --> 00:30:05,669
All the ones
about Nantucket.
724
00:30:05,737 --> 00:30:07,738
I think his favorite
was about
725
00:30:07,806 --> 00:30:09,406
A little
handicapped girl--
726
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:12,676
There once was
a girl who was crippled
727
00:30:12,744 --> 00:30:15,512
By the weight
of her overgrown nipple.
728
00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:17,181
Katie, voice-over:
I needed to talk to someone
729
00:30:17,248 --> 00:30:18,816
Who saw grandpa clearly.
730
00:30:18,883 --> 00:30:20,851
(music) as I remember your eyes (music)
731
00:30:20,919 --> 00:30:24,688
(music) were bluer
than Robin's eggs (music)
732
00:30:24,756 --> 00:30:27,357
(music) my poetry was lousy,
you said (music)
733
00:30:27,425 --> 00:30:28,859
[knock on door]
Katie: Dad.
734
00:30:28,927 --> 00:30:31,461
(music) where are you
calling from? (music)
735
00:30:31,529 --> 00:30:33,197
(music) a booth
on the midway (music)
736
00:30:33,264 --> 00:30:34,998
Dad, are you
in there?
737
00:30:35,066 --> 00:30:37,701
[knocking on door]
738
00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:43,373
(music) 10 years ago,
I bought you some cufflinks (music)
739
00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:45,375
(music) you brought me
something... (music)
740
00:30:45,443 --> 00:30:47,044
[turns down music]
741
00:30:47,111 --> 00:30:49,746
Dad, the door is locked,
and I need to talk.
742
00:30:49,814 --> 00:30:51,281
Katie?
743
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:52,716
Dad?
744
00:30:52,784 --> 00:30:54,218
Fuck!
745
00:30:54,285 --> 00:30:56,520
Coming.
746
00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:01,058
Dad.
747
00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:03,126
Coming.
748
00:31:06,297 --> 00:31:09,333
Fuck! Fuck!
749
00:31:10,969 --> 00:31:12,736
Ah!
750
00:31:12,804 --> 00:31:13,904
Dad.
751
00:31:15,807 --> 00:31:18,242
Coming.
Coming, sweetie.
752
00:31:19,811 --> 00:31:22,346
Goddamn it!
753
00:31:29,654 --> 00:31:32,322
Is that a joint?
754
00:31:33,992 --> 00:31:35,459
Ah!
755
00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:38,595
Dad?
756
00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:53,210
Yes, boys?
757
00:31:54,846 --> 00:31:58,916
So, uh...How's
that book going?
758
00:31:58,983 --> 00:32:00,717
It's hot.
759
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:07,791
Can we...Help you
with anything?
760
00:32:07,859 --> 00:32:12,162
Maybe, uh...
Intern with you?
761
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:19,569
You can rub my feet
if you want.
762
00:32:21,839 --> 00:32:23,974
Mom has that appointment
with the parson tomorrow.
763
00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:25,475
Yeah. Well,
Don't worry,
764
00:32:25,543 --> 00:32:27,144
Because I'm
gonna spring her.
765
00:32:27,211 --> 00:32:29,146
She was trying
to kill herself.
766
00:32:29,213 --> 00:32:31,315
Yeah. It's
pretty common.
767
00:32:31,382 --> 00:32:33,250
In fact, after
Scandinavians,
768
00:32:33,318 --> 00:32:34,818
It's the over-70
crowd
769
00:32:34,886 --> 00:32:36,820
That is the most
suicidal.
770
00:32:36,888 --> 00:32:39,222
Well, shouldn't we be doing
something to help her?
771
00:32:39,290 --> 00:32:40,824
No. Mm-mmm.
772
00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:43,160
Because once people
have their mind made up,
773
00:32:43,227 --> 00:32:44,828
There's really
very little
774
00:32:44,896 --> 00:32:46,496
That you could do
to stop them.
775
00:32:46,564 --> 00:32:49,466
There's got to be
something we can do.
776
00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:51,835
Do you remember
that game against Easton?
777
00:32:51,903 --> 00:32:54,338
Oh, yeah. They were
a very tough team.
778
00:32:54,405 --> 00:32:56,840
No, but do you
remember...
779
00:32:56,908 --> 00:33:01,378
Naomi in the hotel
with the oow-oow-oow?
780
00:33:01,446 --> 00:33:03,180
Do you remember?
781
00:33:03,247 --> 00:33:06,183
"oh, look at how silly
and normal I can act
782
00:33:06,250 --> 00:33:08,352
When I'm not
persecuting my sister."
783
00:33:08,419 --> 00:33:09,653
[mock laughter]
784
00:33:18,930 --> 00:33:20,864
So...
785
00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:24,368
How often
do you smoke?
786
00:33:24,435 --> 00:33:26,370
You know...
787
00:33:26,437 --> 00:33:28,538
Never
in the morning.
788
00:33:28,606 --> 00:33:29,873
Dad.
789
00:33:29,941 --> 00:33:31,708
I know. That
was really lame.
790
00:33:31,776 --> 00:33:33,210
I just...
791
00:33:33,277 --> 00:33:35,712
I Don't know what
I'm doing anymore.
792
00:33:35,780 --> 00:33:37,881
You're mourning.
793
00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:39,383
Yeah.
794
00:33:39,450 --> 00:33:40,851
What?
795
00:33:40,918 --> 00:33:42,552
You're mourning.
796
00:33:42,620 --> 00:33:44,554
Yeah. Yes.
I think I am.
797
00:33:44,622 --> 00:33:46,056
Yeah.
798
00:33:46,124 --> 00:33:48,892
You'd think I'd be
over it by now.
799
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,294
Well, dad,
it just happened.
800
00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:52,896
No.
801
00:33:52,964 --> 00:33:55,399
He's been dead
for years.
802
00:33:55,466 --> 00:33:56,900
What?
803
00:33:56,968 --> 00:33:58,902
If I just
would have gotten
804
00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:00,904
That stupid
toothpaste commercial.
805
00:34:00,972 --> 00:34:02,572
That was the moment.
806
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,074
I swear to god.
807
00:34:04,142 --> 00:34:06,443
What are we
talking about?
808
00:34:06,511 --> 00:34:07,911
I was the choice
809
00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:09,746
For this toothpaste
campaign.
810
00:34:09,814 --> 00:34:11,581
I was the guy,
and I just...
811
00:34:11,649 --> 00:34:13,583
I could not
say the line.
812
00:34:13,651 --> 00:34:15,252
I literally...
I couldn't say it.
813
00:34:15,319 --> 00:34:17,120
"it's the breath
freshiest."
814
00:34:17,188 --> 00:34:19,222
I just...
815
00:34:19,290 --> 00:34:21,925
Ok. I can't believe
I just said that.
816
00:34:21,993 --> 00:34:24,428
I have never been able
to say that before.
817
00:34:24,495 --> 00:34:26,063
It's like a tongue
twister for me.
818
00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:27,764
"it's the breath
freshiest."
819
00:34:27,832 --> 00:34:29,499
Oh, my god!
820
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,601
Ha ha...
821
00:34:31,669 --> 00:34:34,104
Fuck.
822
00:34:36,507 --> 00:34:39,242
Um, dad, are you ok?
823
00:34:39,310 --> 00:34:41,278
Yeah. I'm sorry.
824
00:34:41,345 --> 00:34:44,381
I'm sorry.
It's just...
825
00:34:46,184 --> 00:34:47,784
I just feel
sometimes
826
00:34:47,852 --> 00:34:49,786
Like I've spent
my whole life
827
00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:51,288
In this waiting room
828
00:34:51,355 --> 00:34:52,789
At an audition,
you know,
829
00:34:52,857 --> 00:34:54,958
And they finally called
my fucking name,
830
00:34:55,026 --> 00:34:56,626
And I just...
831
00:34:56,694 --> 00:34:58,628
And then somebody else
stood up, you know,
832
00:34:58,696 --> 00:35:00,130
And they got my role,
833
00:35:00,198 --> 00:35:01,965
And they've been
living my life,
834
00:35:02,033 --> 00:35:03,467
And I'm just groping.
835
00:35:03,534 --> 00:35:05,135
I've just been
stumbling around
836
00:35:05,203 --> 00:35:07,604
In the dark
ever since then.
837
00:35:07,672 --> 00:35:10,273
[sighs]
838
00:35:10,341 --> 00:35:12,309
Your mom knew.
Your mom knew.
839
00:35:12,376 --> 00:35:13,810
She always said,
840
00:35:13,878 --> 00:35:16,513
"we have to get out
of acting, Daniel."
841
00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:18,748
Mom was an actress?
842
00:35:22,220 --> 00:35:23,353
No.
843
00:35:23,421 --> 00:35:25,822
You just said, "we have to
get out of acting."
844
00:35:25,890 --> 00:35:28,492
No. I must have...
Misspelled something.
845
00:35:28,559 --> 00:35:29,926
What?
846
00:35:31,896 --> 00:35:33,029
What?
847
00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:34,998
You told me mom
was a social worker
848
00:35:35,066 --> 00:35:36,700
Who died
of caring too much.
849
00:35:36,767 --> 00:35:38,335
[stifling laughter]
850
00:35:38,402 --> 00:35:39,669
I said she...
851
00:35:39,737 --> 00:35:41,171
What did I say
she did?
852
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:42,839
Ha ha ha.
853
00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:44,341
Dad, did you lie to me?
854
00:35:44,408 --> 00:35:46,009
No, no, no, no.
855
00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:47,344
No?
856
00:35:47,411 --> 00:35:48,712
No. No.
857
00:35:48,779 --> 00:35:51,848
I probably was just...
Protecting you.
858
00:35:51,916 --> 00:35:55,018
So, mom was an actress?
859
00:35:55,086 --> 00:35:56,520
Well...
860
00:35:56,587 --> 00:35:58,755
Is there anything
I could see her in?
861
00:35:58,823 --> 00:36:00,690
No.
862
00:36:00,758 --> 00:36:02,192
No?
863
00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:03,693
No. Well...
864
00:36:03,761 --> 00:36:05,629
Uh...
865
00:36:05,696 --> 00:36:08,899
What kind of movies
did mom make, dad?
866
00:36:08,966 --> 00:36:11,034
Honestly,
it's not that bad.
867
00:36:11,102 --> 00:36:13,570
She never used
her real name.
868
00:36:13,638 --> 00:36:15,572
Katie: Do you have any...
869
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:20,043
Do you have any
cookie tushala movies?
870
00:36:20,111 --> 00:36:23,046
I'll check, but we're
probably all out.
871
00:36:23,114 --> 00:36:24,714
Is that
Katie Collins?
872
00:36:24,782 --> 00:36:26,049
Hi.
873
00:36:26,117 --> 00:36:27,884
Hi, Katie.
I Haven't seen you
874
00:36:27,952 --> 00:36:29,719
Since you were
at the house with...
875
00:36:29,787 --> 00:36:31,288
You're in luck.
876
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,056
And this one's
possibly her best,
877
00:36:33,124 --> 00:36:35,759
Just for its utter
lack of story.
878
00:36:35,826 --> 00:36:37,427
We heard about
your grandfather.
879
00:36:37,495 --> 00:36:39,729
Oh, yes. We didn't
know him very well,
880
00:36:39,797 --> 00:36:41,231
But we're very sorry.
881
00:36:41,299 --> 00:36:42,732
Oh, thanks so much.
882
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,234
Yeah.
That'll be $3.50.
883
00:36:44,302 --> 00:36:46,436
Does Ryan know
you're here?
884
00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:50,740
Oh. Wait till he hears
who we saw renting...
885
00:36:50,808 --> 00:36:52,375
Vagina town.
886
00:36:52,443 --> 00:36:54,744
Ha ha. Thanks.
887
00:36:54,812 --> 00:36:56,446
It's a classic.
888
00:36:56,514 --> 00:36:58,081
Ha ha ha.
889
00:36:58,149 --> 00:36:59,583
How would
I know?
890
00:36:59,650 --> 00:37:01,384
[doorbell jingles]
891
00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:03,386
Katie, voice-over:
All of my life,
892
00:37:03,454 --> 00:37:05,522
I've wished
I could see my mother.
893
00:37:05,590 --> 00:37:08,491
Be careful
what you wish for.
894
00:37:16,634 --> 00:37:18,535
[gunshots]
895
00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:24,741
[doorbell rings]
896
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:26,276
[western music playing]
897
00:37:26,344 --> 00:37:28,111
Man on videotape:
Howdy, ma'am.
898
00:37:28,179 --> 00:37:29,613
Fred: Coming.
899
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,450
I just rode into town
from a long ride on the trail.
900
00:37:33,517 --> 00:37:35,118
We didn't see this town
901
00:37:35,186 --> 00:37:37,954
On any of our
trail maps, ma'am.
902
00:37:38,022 --> 00:37:41,491
Ryan: Hey, dudes.
I'm looking for Katie.
903
00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:43,426
She's here
somewhere.
904
00:37:43,494 --> 00:37:45,128
Cousin Katie!
905
00:37:45,196 --> 00:37:47,130
Woman on videotape:
This here town
906
00:37:47,198 --> 00:37:48,798
Is unlike
any other town.
907
00:37:48,866 --> 00:37:50,300
Man on videotape:
Yes, ma'am.
908
00:37:50,368 --> 00:37:52,802
This is a very unusual town
you have here.
909
00:37:52,870 --> 00:37:54,638
Woman on videotape:
I Hope you boys
910
00:37:54,705 --> 00:37:56,306
Know how to ride
bareback.
911
00:37:56,374 --> 00:37:59,142
Holy Jesus!
His penis!
912
00:37:59,210 --> 00:38:00,477
Katie, voice-over:
Most people Don't even like
913
00:38:00,544 --> 00:38:02,379
To think of their parents
having sex with each other,
914
00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:05,649
Much less with multiple
bad actors.
915
00:38:05,716 --> 00:38:08,251
I had to do something.
916
00:38:14,725 --> 00:38:15,992
Alice: Morning.
917
00:38:16,060 --> 00:38:17,294
Katie: Morning.
918
00:38:17,361 --> 00:38:18,662
Coffee?
919
00:38:18,729 --> 00:38:20,163
No.
920
00:38:20,231 --> 00:38:22,666
Other families have
these sort of problems,
921
00:38:22,733 --> 00:38:25,168
But they Don't talk
about them, all right?
922
00:38:25,236 --> 00:38:28,538
I mean, I'm sorry.
I live in the real world.
923
00:38:28,606 --> 00:38:31,675
I work hard at raising
a decent family.
924
00:38:31,742 --> 00:38:33,009
Oh!
925
00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:35,845
You Don't see me prancing around
in my pajamas all day,
926
00:38:35,913 --> 00:38:38,448
Starting up pillow fights
with my topless girlfriend.
927
00:38:39,917 --> 00:38:41,751
What are we
talking about?
928
00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:44,354
It won't work.
Everyone knows
929
00:38:44,422 --> 00:38:47,190
That the only gay
relationships that last
930
00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:49,426
Are between people
of the same height.
931
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,862
Did you and Lucy
ever get along?
932
00:38:52,930 --> 00:38:54,364
Well, I guess.
933
00:38:54,432 --> 00:38:57,033
Well, when your grandfather
was around, of course.
934
00:38:57,101 --> 00:38:58,535
He kept the peace?
935
00:38:58,602 --> 00:38:59,869
No, no, no.
936
00:38:59,937 --> 00:39:02,272
He just kept us
on eggshells.
937
00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:05,542
He had us all so desperate
for his approval.
938
00:39:05,609 --> 00:39:07,544
Well, look
at your father.
939
00:39:07,611 --> 00:39:10,814
He made a career
out of it.
940
00:39:10,881 --> 00:39:11,881
Morning.
941
00:39:11,949 --> 00:39:13,383
Morning, Danny.
942
00:39:13,451 --> 00:39:14,718
Everybody
sleep ok?
943
00:39:14,785 --> 00:39:15,885
Never.
944
00:39:15,953 --> 00:39:18,788
Danny: Hey, did we have
a blackout last night?
945
00:39:18,856 --> 00:39:20,690
That's what I heard.
946
00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:22,726
We sure did. I couldn't
even find my room--
947
00:39:22,793 --> 00:39:23,727
What?
948
00:39:23,794 --> 00:39:25,228
You found
my room all right.
949
00:39:25,296 --> 00:39:26,730
It was dark.
950
00:39:26,797 --> 00:39:29,566
So you hid
in my closet?
951
00:39:29,633 --> 00:39:31,067
With your kids?
952
00:39:31,135 --> 00:39:32,736
We were lost.
953
00:39:32,803 --> 00:39:35,238
Hey, you guys,
listen to this.
954
00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:37,240
Tell me
how it sounds.
955
00:39:37,308 --> 00:39:39,743
"grandpa made us aware
that there is
956
00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:42,979
A whole world
of opportunity out there."
957
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:44,414
He did?
958
00:39:44,482 --> 00:39:46,082
Who are we
talking about?
959
00:39:46,150 --> 00:39:47,250
Grandpa.
960
00:39:47,318 --> 00:39:48,918
Tell her
about the time
961
00:39:48,986 --> 00:39:50,620
That dad built
us that swing.
962
00:39:50,688 --> 00:39:52,288
That was Carl,
the neighbor.
963
00:39:52,356 --> 00:39:53,990
Alice: Mr. Grabby.
964
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:56,092
Mr. Grabby
built the swing?
965
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,995
Mmm. Oh, he was
so creepy.
966
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:00,263
He'd put his hand
on your shoulder
967
00:40:00,331 --> 00:40:01,598
And announce,
"you're it."
968
00:40:01,665 --> 00:40:03,266
Then he wouldn't
run away.
969
00:40:03,334 --> 00:40:05,568
He wouldn't even
take his hand away.
970
00:40:05,636 --> 00:40:06,770
Right.
971
00:40:06,837 --> 00:40:08,438
Um...Hi, you guys.
972
00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:10,440
There was a lot
of paperwork,
973
00:40:10,508 --> 00:40:12,275
And I had to pull
some strings
974
00:40:12,343 --> 00:40:13,943
And sign
a lot of names,
975
00:40:14,011 --> 00:40:14,944
But she's back.
976
00:40:15,012 --> 00:40:16,613
Grandma.
There she is.
977
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,381
Hi, mother.
978
00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:20,283
Try it again,
I'll kill you myself.
979
00:40:20,351 --> 00:40:22,285
Alice.
980
00:40:22,353 --> 00:40:25,622
Well, I have to get
back to work, so...Bye.
981
00:40:25,689 --> 00:40:27,457
Thanks, Sam.
982
00:40:27,525 --> 00:40:29,459
What happened, grandma?
983
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:31,294
Nothing happened.
984
00:40:31,362 --> 00:40:33,630
I was just
a little confused.
985
00:40:33,697 --> 00:40:35,298
About what?
986
00:40:35,366 --> 00:40:38,134
I thought the vows
we took were forever.
987
00:40:38,202 --> 00:40:40,136
Katie: They were.
988
00:40:40,204 --> 00:40:42,372
It's just that
your forever
989
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,140
Was longer than
grandpa's forever.
990
00:40:44,208 --> 00:40:45,975
Hi, everybody.
991
00:40:46,043 --> 00:40:48,311
Hi.
Hey, Ryan.
992
00:40:48,379 --> 00:40:50,980
Hey, Ryan.
993
00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:52,882
How are you?
994
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:55,819
Good. Um...
995
00:40:55,886 --> 00:40:57,921
I'm sorry about
your grandfather.
996
00:40:59,723 --> 00:41:02,826
Hey. You know...
997
00:41:02,893 --> 00:41:06,696
He died. Ha ha.
998
00:41:06,764 --> 00:41:08,998
Yeah. Um...
You know, it's...
999
00:41:09,066 --> 00:41:11,401
You can't, uh...
1000
00:41:13,704 --> 00:41:16,105
You want to, like,
go for a walk or...
1001
00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:33,623
So...
1002
00:41:35,259 --> 00:41:37,026
So...
1003
00:41:37,094 --> 00:41:39,362
Still driving a taxi?
1004
00:41:39,430 --> 00:41:41,364
Yeah. Yep.
1005
00:41:41,432 --> 00:41:44,067
To save up money
for college.
1006
00:41:44,134 --> 00:41:46,035
Are you mad at me?
1007
00:41:46,103 --> 00:41:47,370
No.
1008
00:41:47,438 --> 00:41:48,538
Really?
1009
00:41:48,606 --> 00:41:52,041
Really. I mean it.
1010
00:41:52,109 --> 00:41:53,943
You're a great kid.
1011
00:41:57,114 --> 00:41:58,581
Um...Thanks, coach.
1012
00:42:01,585 --> 00:42:04,888
No, I just...
I just think that...
1013
00:42:04,955 --> 00:42:07,257
What happened
last Summer was--
1014
00:42:07,324 --> 00:42:08,625
What?
1015
00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:10,727
What happened?
1016
00:42:10,794 --> 00:42:13,496
At your house.
1017
00:42:20,804 --> 00:42:23,072
Oh, you
Don't mean...
1018
00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:25,241
That time when
you attacked me
1019
00:42:25,309 --> 00:42:26,910
At the movie
theater,
1020
00:42:26,977 --> 00:42:28,912
And then you came
over to my place
1021
00:42:28,979 --> 00:42:30,747
And took all
your clothes off
1022
00:42:30,814 --> 00:42:32,749
And then ran out without
saying good-bye.
1023
00:42:32,816 --> 00:42:35,418
Is that what you're
talking about?
1024
00:42:35,486 --> 00:42:36,619
Katie.
1025
00:42:36,687 --> 00:42:37,921
Knock-knock.
1026
00:42:37,988 --> 00:42:38,755
Who's there?
1027
00:42:38,822 --> 00:42:39,822
Salmon.
1028
00:42:39,890 --> 00:42:41,424
Salmon who?
1029
00:42:41,492 --> 00:42:42,659
Salmonella.
1030
00:42:42,726 --> 00:42:44,494
What are you doing?
1031
00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:46,262
Science experiment.
1032
00:42:46,330 --> 00:42:47,764
How many eggs
does it take
1033
00:42:47,831 --> 00:42:49,632
To make them
say something?
1034
00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:51,434
Speak,
young cousins.
1035
00:42:51,502 --> 00:42:54,537
Burt, you see
what's going on here?
1036
00:42:54,605 --> 00:42:56,439
Burt.
1037
00:42:56,507 --> 00:42:58,441
Oh. Uh...
1038
00:42:58,509 --> 00:43:00,276
Uh...
1039
00:43:00,344 --> 00:43:03,947
Ha ha ha.
1040
00:43:04,014 --> 00:43:05,448
Uh...
1041
00:43:05,516 --> 00:43:06,950
[egg cracks]
1042
00:43:07,017 --> 00:43:09,252
What has Alice done
to all of you?
1043
00:43:12,389 --> 00:43:14,791
Now, this is
my favorite.
1044
00:43:14,858 --> 00:43:17,293
Cherry,
inlaid Olive,
1045
00:43:17,361 --> 00:43:19,796
And real brass
fittings.
1046
00:43:19,863 --> 00:43:21,798
At just $32,000,
1047
00:43:21,865 --> 00:43:24,133
It's quite
a steal.
1048
00:43:24,201 --> 00:43:26,336
Just $32,000?
1049
00:43:26,403 --> 00:43:27,637
How much
does it cost
1050
00:43:27,705 --> 00:43:28,972
To stick him in
a garbage bag?
1051
00:43:29,039 --> 00:43:29,973
Mother!
1052
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:31,174
What does he care?
1053
00:43:31,241 --> 00:43:34,811
Mom, it's just
unbelievably disrespectful.
1054
00:43:34,878 --> 00:43:36,679
This isn't even
going in the ground.
1055
00:43:36,747 --> 00:43:38,047
What?
1056
00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:39,382
What do you mean?
1057
00:43:39,450 --> 00:43:42,051
Danny: Dad wanted us
to float him out
1058
00:43:42,119 --> 00:43:44,220
In a flaming boat.
1059
00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:46,322
I'm not sure
that's legal.
1060
00:43:46,390 --> 00:43:48,358
Great.
1061
00:43:48,425 --> 00:43:51,327
Well, my kids are not
staying for that.
1062
00:43:51,395 --> 00:43:53,863
Why doesn't he
want to be buried?
1063
00:43:53,931 --> 00:43:55,498
I Don't want
to be buried.
1064
00:43:55,566 --> 00:43:57,166
No. This is not
about you.
1065
00:43:57,234 --> 00:43:58,534
I hate bugs.
1066
00:43:58,602 --> 00:44:01,004
Yeah, I have to admit,
I Don't exactly get
1067
00:44:01,071 --> 00:44:03,206
The whole cemetery
thing myself.
1068
00:44:03,273 --> 00:44:04,540
A cemetery is like
1069
00:44:04,608 --> 00:44:07,210
An old-age home
for the dead,
1070
00:44:07,277 --> 00:44:10,346
A place where you can
visit your loved ones
1071
00:44:10,414 --> 00:44:11,948
Without the bother
1072
00:44:12,016 --> 00:44:14,050
Of daily care
and maintenance.
1073
00:44:14,118 --> 00:44:15,518
Daily care?
1074
00:44:15,586 --> 00:44:17,020
Oh, you'd be
surprised.
1075
00:44:17,087 --> 00:44:18,388
[door opens]
1076
00:44:18,455 --> 00:44:20,323
Ah, Parson Banker.
1077
00:44:20,391 --> 00:44:24,327
Sad business.
Sad business.
1078
00:44:24,395 --> 00:44:26,029
This is the surviving
Collins family.
1079
00:44:26,096 --> 00:44:27,530
I'm Alice Collins.
1080
00:44:27,598 --> 00:44:29,332
Hi. I'm Daniel.
1081
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,834
Daniel. Hi.
1082
00:44:31,902 --> 00:44:34,070
Hi.
1083
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:40,309
They're mourning the loss
of their beloved Edmund.
1084
00:44:41,612 --> 00:44:43,680
Ah. Ah.
1085
00:44:46,150 --> 00:44:48,051
I didn't know Edmund
1086
00:44:48,118 --> 00:44:50,253
As well
as I should have.
1087
00:44:52,156 --> 00:44:54,757
Perhaps if we
had ever met...
1088
00:44:59,463 --> 00:45:01,397
Katie.
1089
00:45:01,465 --> 00:45:03,066
Katie. Katie.
1090
00:45:03,133 --> 00:45:05,568
Katie, Katie, Katie,
I'm sorry.
1091
00:45:05,636 --> 00:45:07,704
I'm sorry.
1092
00:45:07,771 --> 00:45:09,405
I Don't want
anything that may
1093
00:45:09,473 --> 00:45:11,240
Or may not have
happened between us
1094
00:45:11,308 --> 00:45:12,942
To affect
our friendship.
1095
00:45:14,645 --> 00:45:16,446
You mean that?
1096
00:45:16,513 --> 00:45:19,749
Yeah. I Don't have
any friends like you.
1097
00:45:19,817 --> 00:45:21,417
So we'll be friends?
1098
00:45:21,485 --> 00:45:25,988
Yeah. Always were.
Right?
1099
00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:28,958
Thank you.
1100
00:45:38,335 --> 00:45:39,769
Well, I Don't know
why everything
1101
00:45:39,837 --> 00:45:42,772
Has to be such a production
with this family.
1102
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,607
We didn't need
to buy one.
1103
00:45:44,675 --> 00:45:46,642
The basement's
loaded with boxes.
1104
00:45:46,710 --> 00:45:48,277
You Don't bring
your own, mom.
1105
00:45:48,345 --> 00:45:50,613
But we did buy one.
We bought a box.
1106
00:45:50,681 --> 00:45:52,115
So it's over.
1107
00:45:52,182 --> 00:45:54,283
It looked more like
a shipping crate, but...
1108
00:45:54,351 --> 00:45:56,953
Your father would
have wanted a bag.
1109
00:45:57,020 --> 00:45:58,454
[dialing]
1110
00:45:58,522 --> 00:46:00,289
Look, could we just
try to act normal
1111
00:46:00,357 --> 00:46:01,791
For the next 2 days?
1112
00:46:01,859 --> 00:46:03,126
Would that be
possible?
1113
00:46:03,193 --> 00:46:04,627
Does that include you,
1114
00:46:04,695 --> 00:46:06,629
Or are you just telling
everybody else what to do?
1115
00:46:06,697 --> 00:46:08,131
Look, Don't cast me
in the role
1116
00:46:08,198 --> 00:46:09,632
Of crazed control
freak, all right?
1117
00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:11,300
Then stop
auditioning for it.
1118
00:46:11,368 --> 00:46:12,802
I just
wanted to put
1119
00:46:12,870 --> 00:46:14,470
My dead father
in a nice box.
1120
00:46:14,538 --> 00:46:16,405
You want to put
everyone in a box--
1121
00:46:16,473 --> 00:46:17,974
The ineffectual
mother box,
1122
00:46:18,041 --> 00:46:19,809
The struggling actor box.
1123
00:46:19,877 --> 00:46:21,644
People put
themselves in boxes.
1124
00:46:21,712 --> 00:46:23,146
I just label them.
1125
00:46:23,213 --> 00:46:26,182
Like the rebellious
teenage lesbian box
1126
00:46:26,250 --> 00:46:27,483
That you're still
stuck in at 35.
1127
00:46:27,551 --> 00:46:29,652
Stop it. Stop it!
1128
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:30,820
Ladies.
1129
00:46:30,888 --> 00:46:32,321
Don't start
your shit with me!
1130
00:46:32,389 --> 00:46:34,323
Don't tell me
what not to say!
1131
00:46:34,391 --> 00:46:38,194
Aah! Something
is stuck to my tongue!
1132
00:46:47,037 --> 00:46:49,138
Try not to worry
so much.
1133
00:46:49,206 --> 00:46:52,008
Everything is gonna work out
for you kids.
1134
00:46:52,075 --> 00:46:55,578
And always remember
to brush before bed.
1135
00:46:59,750 --> 00:47:01,217
[screaming]
1136
00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,588
Uh, guys...
1137
00:47:05,656 --> 00:47:08,024
[P.A. Announcements]
1138
00:47:08,091 --> 00:47:09,692
So, that was
really lucky.
1139
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,727
You guys were
right there, hmm?
1140
00:47:11,795 --> 00:47:13,930
Yeah. Um...
1141
00:47:13,997 --> 00:47:16,732
It was lucky.
1142
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,335
Um, you guys.
1143
00:47:19,403 --> 00:47:20,336
Sam.
1144
00:47:20,404 --> 00:47:21,704
Is she gonna
be all right?
1145
00:47:21,772 --> 00:47:23,606
Um, she's...She's
gonna be fine.
1146
00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:25,208
She snapped
a few bones,
1147
00:47:25,275 --> 00:47:28,044
Mostly shoulder
and face,
1148
00:47:28,111 --> 00:47:29,579
A couple of ribs.
1149
00:47:29,646 --> 00:47:31,380
They slapped her
in a halfie.
1150
00:47:31,448 --> 00:47:33,216
Oh, well, that's
good, right?
1151
00:47:33,283 --> 00:47:34,717
Can we see her?
1152
00:47:34,785 --> 00:47:36,219
Not until she hardens,
1153
00:47:36,286 --> 00:47:38,554
And even then, it might not be
a great idea.
1154
00:47:38,622 --> 00:47:41,224
She might want to be
left alone,
1155
00:47:41,291 --> 00:47:44,227
Because usually people
are kind of embarrassed
1156
00:47:44,294 --> 00:47:45,895
After an accident
like that.
1157
00:47:45,963 --> 00:47:47,930
It wasn't an accident.
1158
00:47:47,998 --> 00:47:50,399
Well, it is
what it is.
1159
00:47:50,467 --> 00:47:53,236
So, why Don't you guys
go home,
1160
00:47:53,303 --> 00:47:55,238
And then I'll give you
an update
1161
00:47:55,305 --> 00:47:57,006
When I get off of work.
1162
00:47:57,074 --> 00:48:01,077
Did she say anything
before she jumped?
1163
00:48:01,144 --> 00:48:04,480
"brush your teeth."
1164
00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:06,916
Oral hygiene freak.
1165
00:48:06,984 --> 00:48:08,885
Lucy: Shh!
1166
00:48:08,952 --> 00:48:11,888
I heard something.
1167
00:48:13,857 --> 00:48:17,627
Malice.
1168
00:48:17,694 --> 00:48:20,963
Yeah, what ever
happened to Alice?
1169
00:48:21,031 --> 00:48:23,966
Yeah. Who dumped her
in the bitch tank?
1170
00:48:24,034 --> 00:48:25,601
[laughter]
1171
00:48:25,669 --> 00:48:30,072
She wasn't like this
when we were kids.
1172
00:48:30,140 --> 00:48:33,142
Judy: Wait a second.
We're talking about Alice here?
1173
00:48:33,210 --> 00:48:37,780
Yeah. Alice was fun
and mischievous.
1174
00:48:37,848 --> 00:48:40,783
We're talking about
your sister Alice?
1175
00:48:40,851 --> 00:48:42,118
Yeah.
1176
00:48:42,185 --> 00:48:45,121
We had a dress code
in high school.
1177
00:48:45,188 --> 00:48:48,791
We had to wear skirts,
blouses, little vests.
1178
00:48:48,859 --> 00:48:54,196
And Alice talked a bunch
of girls, maybe 20,
1179
00:48:54,264 --> 00:48:56,866
Into protesting it,
so they come to school,
1180
00:48:56,934 --> 00:49:01,137
And they're wearing
jeans and hot pants,
1181
00:49:01,204 --> 00:49:03,139
And the headmaster
lost it.
1182
00:49:03,206 --> 00:49:06,909
He suspended them,
so the next week...
1183
00:49:14,718 --> 00:49:16,819
Next week?
1184
00:49:16,887 --> 00:49:18,487
What's next week?
1185
00:49:18,555 --> 00:49:19,822
Sweetie...
1186
00:49:19,890 --> 00:49:21,023
[laughter]
1187
00:49:21,091 --> 00:49:22,792
You were
telling a story.
1188
00:49:22,859 --> 00:49:24,627
Yeah, you were
telling a story--
1189
00:49:24,695 --> 00:49:26,362
Alice and the dress code.
1190
00:49:27,898 --> 00:49:31,500
Oh, god. We had
a dress code in high school.
1191
00:49:31,568 --> 00:49:35,237
We had to wear
these little uniforms--
1192
00:49:35,305 --> 00:49:36,872
No, no.
We got this part.
1193
00:49:36,940 --> 00:49:40,676
With the...With blouses
and things like this.
1194
00:49:40,744 --> 00:49:45,147
And Alice talked a bunch
of girls, maybe 20--
1195
00:49:45,215 --> 00:49:46,482
Fast-forward.
1196
00:49:46,550 --> 00:49:48,851
And they come
to school
1197
00:49:48,919 --> 00:49:52,922
Wearing hot pants
and jeans.
1198
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:54,857
And so the next week,
1199
00:49:54,925 --> 00:49:59,528
They come to the school
wearing the uniform,
1200
00:49:59,596 --> 00:50:01,197
But they had crew cuts.
1201
00:50:01,264 --> 00:50:04,500
[both laughing]
1202
00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:06,802
You weave
quite a yarn.
1203
00:50:06,870 --> 00:50:09,872
No. She was my hero.
I'll have some.
1204
00:50:09,940 --> 00:50:13,642
You've had quite
enough, my darling.
1205
00:50:21,952 --> 00:50:25,054
I Don't know if your
grandparents ever told you,
1206
00:50:25,122 --> 00:50:27,656
But I used to go up there
and hang out
1207
00:50:27,724 --> 00:50:29,392
When you weren't around,
1208
00:50:29,459 --> 00:50:33,095
Till your grandfather
hit me with a rock.
1209
00:50:33,163 --> 00:50:35,331
Yeah.
You coming?
1210
00:50:38,969 --> 00:50:42,071
He said he thought
I was a crow.
1211
00:50:42,139 --> 00:50:45,174
I was not
his favorite person.
1212
00:50:52,482 --> 00:50:54,717
What am I gonna
say about him?
1213
00:50:54,785 --> 00:50:57,420
What would you want
people to say about you?
1214
00:50:57,487 --> 00:50:59,855
What could you say
about me?
1215
00:51:02,325 --> 00:51:04,527
What would I say
about you?
1216
00:51:06,396 --> 00:51:10,833
When I die...
I want to be cremated.
1217
00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:11,934
Oh, me, too.
1218
00:51:12,002 --> 00:51:13,302
Yeah, me, too.
1219
00:51:13,370 --> 00:51:14,770
I want you
to take my ashes,
1220
00:51:14,838 --> 00:51:17,106
And I want you
to mix them with the ink
1221
00:51:17,174 --> 00:51:19,642
That the government uses
to print money.
1222
00:51:19,709 --> 00:51:21,077
[laughter]
1223
00:51:22,846 --> 00:51:26,749
Yes. And then
I'll be everywhere.
1224
00:51:26,817 --> 00:51:29,418
[laughter]
1225
00:51:29,486 --> 00:51:30,953
Mom said that dad
1226
00:51:31,021 --> 00:51:33,856
Wants us to put him
in his little rowboat.
1227
00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:36,325
I'm not kidding.
1228
00:51:36,393 --> 00:51:38,461
And light it on fire
1229
00:51:38,528 --> 00:51:40,996
And launch him
out to sea.
1230
00:51:41,064 --> 00:51:43,966
Ha ha ha.
1231
00:51:44,034 --> 00:51:45,968
Good thing he didn't
want us to eat him.
1232
00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:49,171
You know what I would say
if he was here?
1233
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:50,639
I would say, "hey, dad.
1234
00:51:50,707 --> 00:51:52,141
"hey, dad, you have
another kid.
1235
00:51:52,209 --> 00:51:53,642
"you have another kid.
1236
00:51:53,710 --> 00:51:56,312
Remember me?
Remember the skipper?"
1237
00:51:56,379 --> 00:51:58,380
[deep voice]
"oh, no. No.
1238
00:51:58,448 --> 00:52:00,983
"that's my boy.
That's my Danny boy.
1239
00:52:01,051 --> 00:52:03,319
He's my boy,
my Danny boy."
1240
00:52:03,386 --> 00:52:07,156
Well, what about me?
Look what I can do.
1241
00:52:07,224 --> 00:52:10,159
Look what I stuck
to my face, dad. Huh?
1242
00:52:10,227 --> 00:52:14,163
Can I be your boy?
Can I be your boy?
1243
00:52:14,231 --> 00:52:16,732
I'm right
in front of you!
1244
00:52:20,904 --> 00:52:23,005
This is good shit.
1245
00:52:23,073 --> 00:52:24,840
Oh, yeah.
1246
00:52:26,743 --> 00:52:29,011
Oh, it's drizzling.
1247
00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:32,014
It's nice.
1248
00:52:32,082 --> 00:52:34,617
Yeah. Yeah.
1249
00:52:36,753 --> 00:52:38,521
You know, Sam,
thanks.
1250
00:52:38,588 --> 00:52:41,023
Thanks for helping
us so much.
1251
00:52:41,091 --> 00:52:43,025
Oh, anything
for you, Alice.
1252
00:52:43,093 --> 00:52:45,361
Oh, that's nice.
All right.
1253
00:52:45,428 --> 00:52:48,030
Do you want to hear
something really pretty?
1254
00:52:48,098 --> 00:52:50,199
A song. I've been
listening to it.
1255
00:52:50,267 --> 00:52:51,534
Yeah. Ok.
1256
00:52:51,601 --> 00:52:53,135
On the way here.
1257
00:52:53,203 --> 00:52:54,703
I still think
this tree house
1258
00:52:54,771 --> 00:52:56,539
Needs
a second story.
1259
00:52:56,606 --> 00:52:59,542
That was one
of our better ideas.
1260
00:52:59,609 --> 00:53:03,679
Who knew...
That wood paneling
1261
00:53:03,747 --> 00:53:05,047
Wouldn't make
a solid floor?
1262
00:53:05,115 --> 00:53:07,049
You know.
1263
00:53:07,117 --> 00:53:08,551
Everybody.
1264
00:53:08,618 --> 00:53:10,052
Yeah, exactly.
1265
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,720
And they kept
telling us.
1266
00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:13,389
Yeah.
1267
00:53:13,456 --> 00:53:15,558
We had a dream.
1268
00:53:15,625 --> 00:53:17,126
We did.
1269
00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:19,662
Ha ha ha.
1270
00:53:21,631 --> 00:53:23,499
I still dream
about you.
1271
00:53:26,336 --> 00:53:28,003
[light rain falling]
1272
00:53:32,909 --> 00:53:34,677
[thunder]
1273
00:53:38,181 --> 00:53:40,082
[music playing on radio]
1274
00:53:40,150 --> 00:53:42,084
Hey, what ever happened
to that Guy
1275
00:53:42,152 --> 00:53:45,087
That you were
going with in college?
1276
00:53:45,155 --> 00:53:48,924
Um...Oh, nothing.
1277
00:53:48,992 --> 00:53:50,059
Mmm.
1278
00:53:51,761 --> 00:53:53,529
Hey, Alice.
1279
00:53:53,597 --> 00:53:55,431
You remember
when your father
1280
00:53:55,498 --> 00:53:58,033
Walked in on us
in the basement?
1281
00:54:05,175 --> 00:54:07,176
Were we doing this?
1282
00:54:11,681 --> 00:54:13,048
Kind of.
1283
00:54:15,018 --> 00:54:17,553
Were we doing this?
1284
00:54:20,957 --> 00:54:24,560
Um...Sort of.
1285
00:54:30,834 --> 00:54:33,969
(music) come running to me (music)
1286
00:54:34,037 --> 00:54:36,305
(music) when things get
out of hand (music)
1287
00:54:36,373 --> 00:54:38,340
[thunder rumbling]
1288
00:54:38,408 --> 00:54:42,111
(music) run into me (music)
1289
00:54:42,178 --> 00:54:44,647
(music) when it's more
than you can stand (music)
1290
00:54:44,714 --> 00:54:53,088
(music) I said I'm strong (music)
1291
00:54:53,156 --> 00:54:55,157
What are you guys
doing there?
1292
00:54:55,225 --> 00:54:56,659
Just looking.
1293
00:54:56,726 --> 00:54:58,327
He's fogging up
my window.
1294
00:54:58,395 --> 00:54:59,495
Stop.
1295
00:54:59,562 --> 00:55:00,896
What is that?
1296
00:55:09,739 --> 00:55:12,341
Ryan: We've got to
go inside. Come on.
1297
00:55:12,409 --> 00:55:14,843
Be careful.
1298
00:55:17,247 --> 00:55:19,281
What are you guys
looking at?
1299
00:55:19,349 --> 00:55:21,784
That's Samantha's car.
1300
00:55:21,851 --> 00:55:24,920
I love you guys.
1301
00:55:29,159 --> 00:55:31,260
Oh!
1302
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:33,028
Aah!
1303
00:55:33,096 --> 00:55:35,898
[shouting]
1304
00:55:35,965 --> 00:55:37,633
[alarm clock buzzing]
1305
00:55:40,770 --> 00:55:42,137
[buzzing stops]
1306
00:55:53,950 --> 00:55:55,784
Good morning.
1307
00:55:55,852 --> 00:55:57,886
I...
1308
00:55:57,954 --> 00:56:00,489
You...Ha ha ha.
1309
00:56:00,557 --> 00:56:02,891
Ok. Um...
1310
00:56:02,959 --> 00:56:05,961
Is Alice up?
1311
00:56:10,133 --> 00:56:13,135
Are you leaving?
1312
00:56:15,472 --> 00:56:17,306
Yes.
1313
00:56:19,309 --> 00:56:20,676
Ok.
1314
00:56:24,848 --> 00:56:26,081
Morning.
1315
00:56:26,149 --> 00:56:27,750
Morning.
Morning.
1316
00:56:27,817 --> 00:56:29,485
Where is she?
1317
00:56:29,552 --> 00:56:31,086
I Don't know.
1318
00:56:31,154 --> 00:56:33,255
She didn't leave
with Samantha?
1319
00:56:33,323 --> 00:56:34,590
Morning.
1320
00:56:34,657 --> 00:56:36,091
Morning.
Morning.
1321
00:56:36,159 --> 00:56:37,426
Where's, uh...
1322
00:56:37,494 --> 00:56:38,927
We Don't know.
1323
00:56:38,995 --> 00:56:40,429
Well, did she leave--
1324
00:56:40,497 --> 00:56:41,964
Skip: No, she didn't.
1325
00:56:42,031 --> 00:56:44,099
I saw her get out
of the car,
1326
00:56:44,167 --> 00:56:46,735
And I saw her
go towards the woods.
1327
00:56:49,005 --> 00:56:53,175
And then she just
became a...
1328
00:56:53,243 --> 00:56:56,278
Tiny...Screaming...
1329
00:56:56,346 --> 00:56:58,714
Katie: I'm sorry.
1330
00:56:58,782 --> 00:57:01,483
There are only 2 hours
before the funeral,
1331
00:57:01,551 --> 00:57:03,619
And I really need
some help here.
1332
00:57:03,686 --> 00:57:05,320
Skip: Are you
dressing up for this?
1333
00:57:05,388 --> 00:57:07,122
Hey, hey, hey,
you guys.
1334
00:57:07,190 --> 00:57:10,192
Could one of you
please tell me
1335
00:57:10,260 --> 00:57:16,432
One nice thing I can say
about your dead father?
1336
00:57:22,539 --> 00:57:25,741
He often called me
Andrea for no reason.
1337
00:57:27,377 --> 00:57:29,311
I was Barry.
1338
00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:30,979
Wait a minute.
What about...
1339
00:57:31,047 --> 00:57:32,381
Remember
thanksgiving,
1340
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:35,484
And that crazy lady
broke in the house?
1341
00:57:35,552 --> 00:57:37,486
Yes, that woman
with the red hair.
1342
00:57:37,554 --> 00:57:39,521
Yep, yep,
and remember.
1343
00:57:39,589 --> 00:57:41,323
She took the leg
off a turkey
1344
00:57:41,391 --> 00:57:43,192
And started banging
it on the table
1345
00:57:43,259 --> 00:57:45,093
And screaming
something about Easter?
1346
00:57:45,161 --> 00:57:46,829
That's...Easter.
That's right.
1347
00:57:46,896 --> 00:57:48,530
You remember
how cool dad was?
1348
00:57:48,598 --> 00:57:51,166
He leapt over the table,
swept her off her feet,
1349
00:57:51,234 --> 00:57:52,868
And carried her
out the front door.
1350
00:57:52,936 --> 00:57:55,204
"he protected us."
1351
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:58,006
What else?
1352
00:57:58,074 --> 00:58:01,343
Why Don't you...
1353
00:58:01,411 --> 00:58:04,346
Read a passage
1354
00:58:04,414 --> 00:58:07,349
From deathof a salesman?
1355
00:58:07,417 --> 00:58:09,351
Ha.
1356
00:58:09,419 --> 00:58:12,254
I Don't know any.
1357
00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:13,856
I do.
1358
00:58:13,923 --> 00:58:16,358
Put up your hands.
Goddamn you!
1359
00:58:16,426 --> 00:58:19,094
Put up your hands. Ha.
1360
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:25,200
What do you think you are,
better than everybody else?
1361
00:58:25,268 --> 00:58:27,202
You Don't know
everything!
1362
00:58:27,270 --> 00:58:30,539
You Don't know, you big
ignorant, stupid...
1363
00:58:30,607 --> 00:58:34,243
Put...Put up
your goddamn hands!
1364
00:58:34,310 --> 00:58:38,046
Put up your hands.
Attention must be paid.
1365
00:58:38,114 --> 00:58:39,715
[doorbell rings]
1366
00:58:39,782 --> 00:58:41,750
You ratted on us!
1367
00:58:41,818 --> 00:58:43,218
You ratted on us.
1368
00:58:43,286 --> 00:58:44,720
Skip: Shut up!
1369
00:58:44,787 --> 00:58:46,388
Hi, Katie.
1370
00:58:46,456 --> 00:58:48,991
Ryan.
How's your leg?
1371
00:58:49,058 --> 00:58:51,059
It's...You know...
1372
00:58:51,127 --> 00:58:52,995
Broken.
1373
00:58:53,062 --> 00:58:54,563
I'm sorry.
1374
00:58:54,631 --> 00:58:56,565
It's ok. Uh, here.
1375
00:58:59,235 --> 00:59:01,770
What's this?
1376
00:59:01,838 --> 00:59:03,105
The answer
to your question.
1377
00:59:03,172 --> 00:59:05,107
Could we go inside
and talk
1378
00:59:05,174 --> 00:59:07,242
Before
you read that?
1379
00:59:07,310 --> 00:59:10,112
It's kind of...
Crazy in there.
1380
00:59:10,179 --> 00:59:11,780
Could we maybe
meet tomorrow
1381
00:59:11,848 --> 00:59:14,483
Before I go back
to school or something?
1382
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:16,785
You Don't
want me to...
1383
00:59:16,853 --> 00:59:19,421
Come
to the funeral?
1384
00:59:19,489 --> 00:59:22,190
[sighs]
1385
00:59:25,328 --> 00:59:27,195
I'm gonna go.
1386
00:59:29,832 --> 00:59:32,367
Danny: Katie.
1387
00:59:32,435 --> 00:59:33,936
Katie.
1388
00:59:34,003 --> 00:59:35,771
What?
1389
00:59:35,838 --> 00:59:37,439
Katie.
1390
00:59:37,507 --> 00:59:39,374
What?
1391
00:59:41,010 --> 00:59:42,778
Do you see
my cell phone?
1392
00:59:42,845 --> 00:59:43,879
No!
1393
00:59:43,947 --> 00:59:45,514
[beeping]
1394
00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:46,615
Uh!
1395
00:59:46,683 --> 00:59:47,950
I knew you'd
kill yourself
1396
00:59:48,017 --> 00:59:49,551
If you missed your
husband's funeral.
1397
00:59:49,619 --> 00:59:51,720
Mmm...Mmm...Mmm...
1398
00:59:51,788 --> 00:59:54,056
Of course they're
all gonna be there.
1399
00:59:54,123 --> 00:59:56,725
Ok, you're ready.
1400
00:59:56,793 --> 00:59:58,460
Mmm!
1401
01:00:00,363 --> 01:00:02,297
Ok, here we go.
1402
01:00:02,365 --> 01:00:03,632
Mmm...
1403
01:00:03,700 --> 01:00:04,967
Yeah, I am hurrying.
1404
01:00:05,034 --> 01:00:06,134
Nurse.
1405
01:00:06,202 --> 01:00:11,473
Uh, I just have to get her
down to x-Ray stat.
1406
01:00:11,541 --> 01:00:13,809
I didn't order
any x-rays.
1407
01:00:13,876 --> 01:00:15,644
There.
1408
01:00:15,712 --> 01:00:17,679
And now...
1409
01:00:17,747 --> 01:00:19,815
[imitating drum roll]
1410
01:00:19,882 --> 01:00:21,416
Ta-da!
1411
01:00:21,484 --> 01:00:23,185
And for you,
1412
01:00:23,252 --> 01:00:26,588
A hat...
1413
01:00:26,656 --> 01:00:28,557
And...
1414
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:34,229
It's a look. Ok.
1415
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:35,964
Let's run
some lights.
1416
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:40,268
[organ playing softly]
1417
01:00:40,336 --> 01:00:42,004
Touch him.
1418
01:00:42,071 --> 01:00:43,538
You.
1419
01:00:43,606 --> 01:00:45,807
Looks like he's
gonna say something.
1420
01:00:45,875 --> 01:00:48,343
"could somebody please
scratch my nose?"
1421
01:00:48,411 --> 01:00:50,112
[both laughing]
1422
01:00:52,115 --> 01:00:54,850
We're gonna need
more gas.
1423
01:00:54,917 --> 01:00:58,320
I definitely Don't want
to do this twice.
1424
01:01:02,592 --> 01:01:04,192
I'm just asking
everyone
1425
01:01:04,260 --> 01:01:06,194
To stop at my office
after this.
1426
01:01:06,262 --> 01:01:08,030
It's on the way
to the lake.
1427
01:01:08,097 --> 01:01:09,531
Sure.
1428
01:01:09,599 --> 01:01:11,199
Katie, I'm
just asking--
1429
01:01:11,267 --> 01:01:13,702
Did you invite
any of his coworkers?
1430
01:01:13,770 --> 01:01:19,541
Well...Your grandfather
was more of a family man.
1431
01:01:19,609 --> 01:01:21,543
So it's just us?
1432
01:01:21,611 --> 01:01:23,545
Well, where's
your grandmother?
1433
01:01:23,613 --> 01:01:25,213
You didn't hear?
1434
01:01:25,281 --> 01:01:26,381
Grandma.
1435
01:01:26,449 --> 01:01:27,883
What in the world
happened?
1436
01:01:27,950 --> 01:01:29,384
Are you ok?
1437
01:01:29,452 --> 01:01:31,219
Mmm...Mmm...
1438
01:01:31,287 --> 01:01:33,722
She said
she's fine.
1439
01:01:33,790 --> 01:01:35,557
Mmm...Mmm...
1440
01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:37,492
She's happy
to be here.
1441
01:01:40,630 --> 01:01:42,931
I Don't know.
He looks different to me.
1442
01:01:42,999 --> 01:01:44,399
[sighs]
1443
01:01:44,467 --> 01:01:49,004
It's hard to picture him
without a twinkle in his eye.
1444
01:01:50,740 --> 01:01:53,241
He really loved you.
1445
01:01:53,309 --> 01:01:54,743
He did.
1446
01:01:54,811 --> 01:01:57,979
[sighs]
1447
01:02:08,591 --> 01:02:12,828
Something stuck
to my tongue.
1448
01:02:20,837 --> 01:02:22,537
Nice touch.
1449
01:02:27,176 --> 01:02:29,611
[parson clears throat]
1450
01:02:29,679 --> 01:02:31,947
Bye, dad.
1451
01:02:36,385 --> 01:02:38,553
[electronic feedback]
1452
01:02:49,165 --> 01:02:51,867
[crying softly]
1453
01:02:55,371 --> 01:02:57,139
Why...
1454
01:02:57,206 --> 01:03:00,876
Do people have to die?
1455
01:03:00,943 --> 01:03:03,812
[sighs]
1456
01:03:08,384 --> 01:03:10,252
I...
1457
01:03:10,319 --> 01:03:14,156
I...I, uh...
1458
01:03:14,223 --> 01:03:17,259
My uncle died recently.
1459
01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:22,330
He was really...
Really the one who...
1460
01:03:25,401 --> 01:03:27,169
Rai...
1461
01:03:27,236 --> 01:03:29,271
He raised me.
1462
01:03:29,338 --> 01:03:31,339
[sobbing]
1463
01:03:31,407 --> 01:03:34,843
Jimmy. Jimmy.
Uncle Jimmy.
1464
01:03:34,911 --> 01:03:37,012
Jiminy cricket.
1465
01:03:37,079 --> 01:03:39,214
[stammering incoherently]
1466
01:03:52,695 --> 01:03:53,695
[playing piano]
1467
01:03:53,763 --> 01:03:59,467
(music) I am not in love (music)
1468
01:03:59,535 --> 01:04:05,140
(music) but I'm open
to persuasion (music)
1469
01:04:07,476 --> 01:04:10,612
(music) east or west (music)
1470
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:13,281
(music) where's the best (music)
1471
01:04:13,349 --> 01:04:15,750
(music) for romancing? (music)
1472
01:04:15,818 --> 01:04:18,620
Lucy: This is bullshit.
1473
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,222
No. I'm sorry.
Screw her.
1474
01:04:20,289 --> 01:04:21,389
Come on, Luce.
1475
01:04:21,457 --> 01:04:23,091
No. She has made a business
out of persecuting me.
1476
01:04:23,159 --> 01:04:25,961
And I'm supposed to sit here
at my father's funeral
1477
01:04:26,028 --> 01:04:27,729
And watch her
fuck-sing at Samantha?
1478
01:04:27,797 --> 01:04:29,130
Screw that.
1479
01:04:29,198 --> 01:04:32,234
[Alice singing]
1480
01:04:32,301 --> 01:04:34,302
Jesus, Luce!
1481
01:04:34,370 --> 01:04:38,106
What is wrong
with this family?
1482
01:04:38,174 --> 01:04:39,407
Well...
1483
01:04:39,475 --> 01:04:41,009
I hadn't heard
Alice sing
1484
01:04:41,077 --> 01:04:42,844
Since you were
a baby.
1485
01:04:44,714 --> 01:04:47,649
She had a little trouble
with the high notes.
1486
01:04:47,717 --> 01:04:50,085
Is it too much to ask
that we bury my grandfather
1487
01:04:50,152 --> 01:04:53,121
With a little honor
and dignity?
1488
01:04:53,189 --> 01:04:55,690
I think it is,
sweetie, yeah.
1489
01:04:57,660 --> 01:05:00,262
Lance: You all know
how I felt about him.
1490
01:05:00,329 --> 01:05:03,265
He was somebody
I considered to be
1491
01:05:03,332 --> 01:05:06,368
A very close
personal friend.
1492
01:05:06,435 --> 01:05:10,705
I have here
his last will and testament.
1493
01:05:12,341 --> 01:05:16,177
He leaves his house
at 132 rolling drive
1494
01:05:16,245 --> 01:05:19,581
To his beloved wife Charlotte.
1495
01:05:19,649 --> 01:05:24,819
He leaves $1,000 cash
to Kate for expenses.
1496
01:05:24,887 --> 01:05:27,122
He also left
a videotape
1497
01:05:27,189 --> 01:05:30,025
That he instructed me
to play for you.
1498
01:05:30,092 --> 01:05:31,860
What about
his money?
1499
01:05:31,928 --> 01:05:35,130
He had no other assets.
I'm sorry.
1500
01:05:35,197 --> 01:05:37,065
You're sorry?
1501
01:05:37,133 --> 01:05:41,803
Hello, everybody.
Surprise!
1502
01:05:41,871 --> 01:05:43,305
[sighs]
1503
01:05:43,372 --> 01:05:44,806
Ha ha ha!
1504
01:05:44,874 --> 01:05:47,642
Before I leave,
I just want to say good-bye
1505
01:05:47,710 --> 01:05:50,612
And say a few
other things as well.
1506
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:53,014
First, I'm not
a salesman.
1507
01:05:53,082 --> 01:05:56,651
Hell, I couldn't sell
nose plugs to a proctologist.
1508
01:05:56,719 --> 01:05:58,553
I never did a day's work
in my life.
1509
01:05:58,621 --> 01:05:59,955
I never knew
how to do anything,
1510
01:06:00,022 --> 01:06:02,157
Except a little
acting maybe.
1511
01:06:02,224 --> 01:06:06,227
That's where my Danny boy
got it from.
1512
01:06:06,295 --> 01:06:11,299
There's something stuck
to my tongue, too.
1513
01:06:11,367 --> 01:06:16,571
Of course, Jerry was the one
with the film career.
1514
01:06:16,639 --> 01:06:20,375
What I'm trying
to tell you is...
1515
01:06:20,443 --> 01:06:23,044
There were 3 of you.
1516
01:06:23,112 --> 01:06:24,779
He always
forgets me.
1517
01:06:24,847 --> 01:06:26,915
One in Rhode Island,
1518
01:06:26,983 --> 01:06:30,819
One in Mexico,
and one in South Carolina.
1519
01:06:30,886 --> 01:06:32,220
Ha ha ha!
1520
01:06:32,288 --> 01:06:36,057
If you think raising 3 families
is a lot of work,
1521
01:06:36,125 --> 01:06:38,360
You try doing it
1522
01:06:38,427 --> 01:06:41,196
Without letting them
find out about each other.
1523
01:06:41,263 --> 01:06:42,964
Oh, that's a killer.
1524
01:06:43,032 --> 01:06:45,333
Talk about leaking money.
1525
01:06:45,401 --> 01:06:47,936
Ooh, when I was 20,
1526
01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:50,872
I inherited millions,
1527
01:06:50,940 --> 01:06:56,378
And now...I'm up
to my prostate in debt.
1528
01:06:56,445 --> 01:07:00,582
Ha ha! It was
a crazy life,
1529
01:07:00,649 --> 01:07:03,051
But I loved it...
1530
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:05,020
Because I love
my 3 wonderful wives
1531
01:07:05,087 --> 01:07:07,455
And my 9 Precious--
1532
01:07:07,523 --> 01:07:08,890
Lance on videotape: 11.
1533
01:07:08,958 --> 01:07:09,958
11?
1534
01:07:10,026 --> 01:07:13,561
[laughing]
1535
01:07:13,629 --> 01:07:16,331
11 children? My god.
1536
01:07:16,399 --> 01:07:18,466
No wonder I couldn't get
your names straight.
1537
01:07:18,534 --> 01:07:21,503
Anyway, I've had
a great life.
1538
01:07:21,570 --> 01:07:22,737
Mmm!
1539
01:07:22,805 --> 01:07:25,573
A full life...
1540
01:07:25,641 --> 01:07:27,409
3 full lives.
1541
01:07:27,476 --> 01:07:29,411
You should all be
so lucky.
1542
01:07:29,478 --> 01:07:31,946
Katie Collins,
I'd like you to find
1543
01:07:32,014 --> 01:07:35,350
My other 2 families
1544
01:07:35,418 --> 01:07:40,088
And inform them
of their loss.
1545
01:07:40,156 --> 01:07:41,356
Mmm!
1546
01:07:41,424 --> 01:07:44,592
Remember, I was just
as big a part of their families
1547
01:07:44,660 --> 01:07:47,162
As I was of yours.
1548
01:07:47,229 --> 01:07:50,632
If I've learned anything,
it's to be true to yourself.
1549
01:07:50,699 --> 01:07:51,933
Look it.
1550
01:07:52,001 --> 01:07:54,602
He clocked them.
1551
01:07:54,670 --> 01:07:56,971
All the way
from the grave.
1552
01:07:57,039 --> 01:08:00,875
All this time, I thought
you were his favorite.
1553
01:08:03,012 --> 01:08:05,814
Well, I mean, you were
his favorite one of us.
1554
01:08:05,881 --> 01:08:09,150
We could have been
his second-favorite family.
1555
01:08:09,218 --> 01:08:12,720
I left something
in the...
1556
01:08:14,523 --> 01:08:17,225
We could have been
his third.
1557
01:08:23,032 --> 01:08:24,866
Congratulations
on the thousand bucks.
1558
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:27,469
Thanks.
1559
01:08:34,443 --> 01:08:38,313
What makes you think
they know what they're doing?
1560
01:08:38,380 --> 01:08:41,049
This is actually the kind
of stuff they're good at.
1561
01:08:44,653 --> 01:08:46,988
Maybe we should watch
from over there.
1562
01:08:47,056 --> 01:08:48,423
Yeah.
1563
01:08:57,733 --> 01:09:02,504
(music) love is but a song
we're singing (music)
1564
01:09:02,571 --> 01:09:05,673
(music) fear's the way we die (music)
1565
01:09:05,741 --> 01:09:07,075
[coughs]
1566
01:09:07,143 --> 01:09:10,345
I never knew.
1567
01:09:10,412 --> 01:09:12,514
None of us did.
1568
01:09:12,581 --> 01:09:14,849
No. I mean,
I knew your family
1569
01:09:14,917 --> 01:09:18,019
Was, you know...
A little...
1570
01:09:18,087 --> 01:09:22,023
But I had no idea.
1571
01:09:22,091 --> 01:09:25,026
(music) though the bird
is on the wing (music)
1572
01:09:25,094 --> 01:09:28,029
(music) and you may not
know why (music)
1573
01:09:28,097 --> 01:09:29,531
You know, Sam,
I think
1574
01:09:29,598 --> 01:09:31,032
I'll catch up
with you later.
1575
01:09:31,100 --> 01:09:32,534
I'm gonna
have a word
1576
01:09:32,601 --> 01:09:34,035
With my brother
there.
1577
01:09:34,103 --> 01:09:35,537
Ok.
1578
01:09:35,604 --> 01:09:38,039
(music) everybody
get together (music)
1579
01:09:38,107 --> 01:09:42,243
(music) try to love one another
right now (music)
1580
01:09:42,311 --> 01:09:44,379
Dad, a little
assistance.
1581
01:09:44,446 --> 01:09:47,582
Listen, guys...
1582
01:09:47,650 --> 01:09:51,586
My pop never told me...
1583
01:09:51,654 --> 01:09:54,155
He never told me...
1584
01:09:55,958 --> 01:09:57,458
How much he--
1585
01:09:57,526 --> 01:09:58,993
Don't.
1586
01:09:59,061 --> 01:10:00,962
What?
1587
01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:03,164
You were gonna
say the "l" word.
1588
01:10:03,232 --> 01:10:05,066
I just want you
to know--
1589
01:10:05,134 --> 01:10:07,101
Dad, we know
how you feel.
1590
01:10:07,169 --> 01:10:09,170
Don't cheapen it
with words.
1591
01:10:09,238 --> 01:10:12,140
I Don't want to be
like him.
1592
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,442
So leave us
better instructions.
1593
01:10:14,510 --> 01:10:18,346
Now, could you
push?
1594
01:10:19,848 --> 01:10:21,583
I love you guys.
1595
01:10:21,650 --> 01:10:23,084
Dad!
Dad!
1596
01:10:23,152 --> 01:10:25,954
I know. It felt weird,
but I did it.
1597
01:10:26,021 --> 01:10:28,156
The fuse!
1598
01:10:31,427 --> 01:10:33,261
Oh, great.
1599
01:10:33,329 --> 01:10:36,030
No worries.
We came prepared.
1600
01:10:41,170 --> 01:10:43,404
Oh, great.
1601
01:10:43,472 --> 01:10:45,039
[inhaling deeply]
1602
01:10:47,176 --> 01:10:50,812
Hey, do you remember
Harry Barnes?
1603
01:10:50,879 --> 01:10:52,614
Don't give me crap
about that.
1604
01:10:52,681 --> 01:10:54,616
I'm not in the mood.
I Don't want to--
1605
01:10:54,683 --> 01:10:56,484
I'm not giving you
crap about it.
1606
01:10:56,552 --> 01:10:58,119
You remember him,
right?
1607
01:10:58,187 --> 01:11:00,121
How could I forget him?
He tortured you.
1608
01:11:00,189 --> 01:11:02,457
"hey, here comes
peanut butter boy..."
1609
01:11:02,524 --> 01:11:04,792
Or crunchy-munchy face
or roasted-toasted...
1610
01:11:04,860 --> 01:11:07,795
Yeah, I know.
I just...I wanted...
1611
01:11:07,863 --> 01:11:09,130
What?
1612
01:11:09,198 --> 01:11:10,798
I just wanted
to thank you.
1613
01:11:10,866 --> 01:11:12,867
I just want to
thank you for that.
1614
01:11:12,935 --> 01:11:17,138
Thank you for
looking after us,
1615
01:11:17,206 --> 01:11:19,841
Protecting us.
1616
01:11:19,908 --> 01:11:21,075
Really.
1617
01:11:24,380 --> 01:11:25,413
[inhaling]
1618
01:11:28,217 --> 01:11:30,018
He had a glass jaw.
1619
01:11:30,085 --> 01:11:31,152
[laughing]
1620
01:11:31,220 --> 01:11:32,820
What? He did.
1621
01:11:32,888 --> 01:11:34,155
Glass jaw.
1622
01:11:34,223 --> 01:11:35,657
He did.
1623
01:11:35,724 --> 01:11:37,158
You clobbered
that kid.
1624
01:11:37,226 --> 01:11:38,326
No.
1625
01:11:38,394 --> 01:11:39,827
Yes. You had
1626
01:11:39,895 --> 01:11:42,163
An unbelievable
right hand, Alice.
1627
01:11:42,231 --> 01:11:44,165
Alice, please.
1628
01:11:44,233 --> 01:11:46,167
You dropped
that boy.
1629
01:11:46,235 --> 01:11:48,169
You did. You--
1630
01:11:48,237 --> 01:11:49,837
Ha ha ha!
1631
01:11:49,905 --> 01:11:51,172
Ow. That...
1632
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:52,373
Ow!
1633
01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:55,176
I Hope
you hurt yourself.
1634
01:11:55,244 --> 01:11:57,679
That really hurt.
1635
01:11:57,746 --> 01:11:59,180
I can't remem--
1636
01:11:59,248 --> 01:12:00,848
When was
the last time
1637
01:12:00,916 --> 01:12:04,252
That the 2 of us just
hung out like this?
1638
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,120
I can't remember.
1639
01:12:12,761 --> 01:12:14,696
Lucy...I think
1640
01:12:14,763 --> 01:12:17,865
You owe your sister
a big apology.
1641
01:12:17,933 --> 01:12:20,301
I Don't have
a sister.
1642
01:12:27,476 --> 01:12:30,478
Did we miss
anything?
1643
01:12:30,546 --> 01:12:33,414
There's nothing
left to say.
1644
01:12:33,482 --> 01:12:35,650
He ended it all.
1645
01:12:38,454 --> 01:12:41,222
Well, let me see
what you got here.
1646
01:12:41,290 --> 01:12:43,725
You want a twizzler?
You sure?
1647
01:12:43,792 --> 01:12:45,326
Mm-hmm.
1648
01:12:47,162 --> 01:12:50,398
I can remember the day
that you were born.
1649
01:12:50,466 --> 01:12:53,735
I can. I remember
the doctor coming in
1650
01:12:53,802 --> 01:12:55,903
And saying,
"it's a girl."
1651
01:12:55,971 --> 01:12:59,674
I thought, "finally,
a baby sister.
1652
01:12:59,742 --> 01:13:03,311
I'm gonna have a friend
for the rest of my life."
1653
01:13:03,379 --> 01:13:05,346
Friend?
1654
01:13:08,317 --> 01:13:11,252
You've been making me
feel bad about myself
1655
01:13:11,320 --> 01:13:14,422
For the past 15 years.
1656
01:13:14,490 --> 01:13:18,593
I know. It wasn't
about you.
1657
01:13:18,660 --> 01:13:22,196
Oh, I was there.
It was all about me.
1658
01:13:23,832 --> 01:13:27,769
Well, maybe I thought
I was helping you.
1659
01:13:27,836 --> 01:13:30,438
Maybe you
didn't think.
1660
01:13:34,009 --> 01:13:36,043
All right.
1661
01:13:39,181 --> 01:13:42,450
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Lucy.
1662
01:13:42,518 --> 01:13:45,520
I'm so sorry.
1663
01:13:45,587 --> 01:13:47,955
For what?
1664
01:13:48,023 --> 01:13:51,726
For not being
there for you,
1665
01:13:51,794 --> 01:13:53,728
For not being
on your side.
1666
01:13:53,796 --> 01:13:58,499
That's...I wasn't
on your side.
1667
01:13:58,567 --> 01:14:02,069
Yeah. Well...
1668
01:14:11,213 --> 01:14:12,480
Dad?
1669
01:14:12,548 --> 01:14:13,981
You ready,
sweetie?
1670
01:14:14,049 --> 01:14:15,650
No.
1671
01:14:15,717 --> 01:14:18,319
There's a lot
of good stuff here.
1672
01:14:18,387 --> 01:14:21,322
You know, just maybe
skip the part
1673
01:14:21,390 --> 01:14:24,659
About him being a
salesman, you know.
1674
01:14:24,726 --> 01:14:26,327
You ready?
1675
01:14:26,395 --> 01:14:27,662
No.
1676
01:14:27,729 --> 01:14:29,831
Uh, everybody.
Can we gather?
1677
01:14:29,898 --> 01:14:33,501
Katie's going to honor
what's left of our father
1678
01:14:33,569 --> 01:14:35,670
With a eulogy.
1679
01:14:35,737 --> 01:14:37,672
Dad, lighter.
1680
01:14:37,739 --> 01:14:41,008
Be careful, guys.
I love this lighter.
1681
01:14:43,078 --> 01:14:45,179
We Don't have
a bagpipe player.
1682
01:14:45,247 --> 01:14:47,114
We know
the words.
1683
01:14:49,017 --> 01:14:50,785
[twins imitating bagpipes]
1684
01:15:00,095 --> 01:15:02,697
How many laws you suppose
we're breaking here?
1685
01:15:02,764 --> 01:15:04,999
Yeah, I should be
preparing a defense.
1686
01:15:09,771 --> 01:15:12,874
Um...We have gathered
here today
1687
01:15:12,941 --> 01:15:18,579
To honor my, uh...
Grandfather, Edmund Collins--
1688
01:15:18,647 --> 01:15:20,281
Shut it.
1689
01:15:20,349 --> 01:15:22,550
[twins stop
imitating bagpipes]
1690
01:15:22,618 --> 01:15:26,320
Edmund was more
than just a great father.
1691
01:15:26,388 --> 01:15:30,091
He was a great...Guy.
1692
01:15:30,158 --> 01:15:31,726
Use your aim,
guys.
1693
01:15:31,793 --> 01:15:34,896
Grandpa had
the playful habit
1694
01:15:34,963 --> 01:15:37,798
Of showering us
with unusual nicknames.
1695
01:15:37,866 --> 01:15:43,404
Grandpa protected us
while he was off...
1696
01:15:43,472 --> 01:15:45,907
[laughs]
1697
01:15:45,974 --> 01:15:49,644
And even though
he wasn't always around,
1698
01:15:49,711 --> 01:15:51,746
Let's face it,
more than anything,
1699
01:15:51,813 --> 01:15:55,383
My grandfather was
a family man.
1700
01:15:55,450 --> 01:15:56,918
[Alice laughing]
1701
01:15:56,985 --> 01:15:58,419
Sorry.
1702
01:15:58,487 --> 01:16:00,354
[all laughing]
1703
01:16:02,224 --> 01:16:04,191
Move me over there.
1704
01:16:05,961 --> 01:16:08,429
Ha ha ha.
What's so funny?
1705
01:16:08,497 --> 01:16:10,498
Your father's dead.
1706
01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:13,601
Maybe he wasn't the man
we all thought he was,
1707
01:16:13,669 --> 01:16:15,670
But he's the reason
we're all here.
1708
01:16:15,737 --> 01:16:20,441
So...Go ahead and laugh.
1709
01:16:20,509 --> 01:16:22,944
He made me laugh.
1710
01:16:23,011 --> 01:16:24,445
Just remember,
1711
01:16:24,513 --> 01:16:26,447
This is the last
Chance you have
1712
01:16:26,515 --> 01:16:29,483
To say good-bye
to your father.
1713
01:16:29,551 --> 01:16:31,719
Katie, I gave you
a job to do.
1714
01:16:31,787 --> 01:16:33,187
Get over here.
1715
01:16:33,255 --> 01:16:35,590
And just speak
from your heart.
1716
01:16:35,657 --> 01:16:38,559
[arrows continue
splashing]
1717
01:16:38,627 --> 01:16:40,895
All right, Katie.
1718
01:17:01,516 --> 01:17:04,485
"did you really
leave me again?
1719
01:17:04,553 --> 01:17:08,489
"after all the seasons
I spent waiting,
1720
01:17:08,557 --> 01:17:11,993
"watching
out the window,
1721
01:17:12,060 --> 01:17:14,261
"listening at the door,
1722
01:17:14,329 --> 01:17:17,498
"waiting for the news
of your return,
1723
01:17:17,566 --> 01:17:20,334
"for the news
that you realized
1724
01:17:20,402 --> 01:17:24,171
"that someone important
was waiting for you?
1725
01:17:24,239 --> 01:17:28,676
"a whole lifetime
I've been waiting.
1726
01:17:28,744 --> 01:17:32,179
"I can't believe
you're not coming back.
1727
01:17:32,247 --> 01:17:36,183
"I can't believe I'm supposed
to stop waiting.
1728
01:17:36,251 --> 01:17:39,453
I can't believe
you left me again."
1729
01:17:48,597 --> 01:17:52,033
Grandpa didn't leave
because of you.
1730
01:17:52,100 --> 01:17:55,703
It was because of you
that he kept coming back.
1731
01:17:55,771 --> 01:17:59,140
I Hope you all
realize that.
1732
01:18:06,815 --> 01:18:07,882
[thud]
1733
01:18:07,949 --> 01:18:10,151
Skip: Nice.
1734
01:18:20,796 --> 01:18:25,166
(music) papa was
a rolling Stone (music)
1735
01:18:25,233 --> 01:18:29,236
(music) wherever he laid his hat
was his home (music)
1736
01:18:29,304 --> 01:18:31,906
(music) and when he died (music)
1737
01:18:31,973 --> 01:18:34,041
(music) all he left-- (music)
1738
01:18:59,501 --> 01:19:02,603
So, after it stopped
raining grandpa,
1739
01:19:02,671 --> 01:19:05,639
I caught a ride here.
1740
01:19:05,707 --> 01:19:07,608
[sniffling]
1741
01:19:07,676 --> 01:19:10,111
I'm so honored
and touched.
1742
01:19:10,178 --> 01:19:12,680
Thank you for
sharing that with me.
1743
01:19:12,748 --> 01:19:14,281
I'm sorry.
1744
01:19:14,349 --> 01:19:16,183
I had no idea.
1745
01:19:16,251 --> 01:19:19,487
No wonder Edmund
was gone so often.
1746
01:19:19,554 --> 01:19:22,556
It's hard to believe.
It really is.
1747
01:19:24,693 --> 01:19:26,861
Poor Barbara.
1748
01:19:28,697 --> 01:19:29,997
What do you mean?
1749
01:19:30,065 --> 01:19:33,300
I Don't know
what to say.
1750
01:19:33,368 --> 01:19:34,969
You're not Barbara?
1751
01:19:35,036 --> 01:19:38,806
Edmund was the best
neighbor I ever had.
1752
01:19:38,874 --> 01:19:40,808
[crying]
1753
01:19:54,322 --> 01:19:57,658
Rod Stewart: (music) crying (music)
1754
01:19:57,726 --> 01:19:59,660
How'd it go?
1755
01:19:59,728 --> 01:20:01,662
Oh...
1756
01:20:01,730 --> 01:20:05,666
Pretty well, I guess.
1757
01:20:05,734 --> 01:20:07,668
I was starting
to think maybe
1758
01:20:07,736 --> 01:20:09,170
You ducked out
the back on me
1759
01:20:09,237 --> 01:20:10,604
Or something.
1760
01:20:10,672 --> 01:20:13,274
Ha ha ha!
1761
01:20:16,411 --> 01:20:20,581
(music) that's why I (music)
1762
01:20:20,649 --> 01:20:23,951
(music) I Don't cry (music)
1763
01:20:26,755 --> 01:20:29,290
(music) laughing (music)
1764
01:20:31,092 --> 01:20:35,529
(music) laughing sometimes does
somebody some good somehow (music)
1765
01:20:35,597 --> 01:20:37,198
(music) somehow (music)
1766
01:20:37,265 --> 01:20:39,366
Wait. Stop the car
for a second.
1767
01:20:39,434 --> 01:20:43,571
(music) that's why I (music)
1768
01:20:43,638 --> 01:20:47,741
(music) I'm laughing now (music)
1769
01:20:47,809 --> 01:20:50,211
(music) that's why I... (music)
1770
01:20:50,278 --> 01:20:52,479
I'll explain
on the way.
1771
01:20:52,547 --> 01:20:55,149
(music) I'm laughing now (music)
1772
01:20:57,285 --> 01:20:59,653
(music) loving (music)
1773
01:21:01,957 --> 01:21:05,893
(music) loving never did me
no good no how (music)
1774
01:21:05,961 --> 01:21:08,162
(music) no how (music)
1775
01:21:09,965 --> 01:21:12,900
(music) that's why I (music)
1776
01:21:12,968 --> 01:21:16,670
(music) can't love you now (music)
1777
01:21:18,807 --> 01:21:22,743
(music) that's why I (music)
1778
01:21:22,811 --> 01:21:25,246
(music) can't love you now (music)
1779
01:21:25,313 --> 01:21:31,185
"this tape will explain
what this note cannot."
1780
01:21:38,159 --> 01:21:40,928
[gunshots]
1781
01:21:40,996 --> 01:21:43,430
"vag...In...
1782
01:21:43,498 --> 01:21:45,599
A...Town."
1783
01:21:45,667 --> 01:21:48,702
What's a vag?
1784
01:21:51,006 --> 01:21:54,708
(music) you know I've never been
much like you (music)
1785
01:21:56,511 --> 01:22:01,282
(music) and so whatever, I guess
we just can't compare the 2 (music)
1786
01:22:01,349 --> 01:22:05,953
(music) and so you got to stay
tried and true (music)
1787
01:22:06,021 --> 01:22:10,958
(music) stick around for now,
it's gonna be all right (music)
1788
01:22:11,026 --> 01:22:16,297
(music) you've got the grace,
and I've got the time (music)
1789
01:22:16,364 --> 01:22:21,302
(music) you call me
your revelation (music)
1790
01:22:21,369 --> 01:22:26,640
(music) hold me
in anticipation (music)
1791
01:22:26,708 --> 01:22:31,145
(music) and all I got
is a fascination (music)
1792
01:22:31,212 --> 01:22:37,818
(music) for you (music)
1793
01:22:37,886 --> 01:22:41,088
(music) I guess I kind of
got lost in myself (music)
1794
01:22:42,891 --> 01:22:44,491
(music) and what's ahead of me
is better (music)
1795
01:22:44,559 --> 01:22:48,329
(music) but it's not for me
to tell (music)
1796
01:22:48,396 --> 01:22:52,833
(music) I got a feeling
it's just as well (music)
1797
01:22:52,901 --> 01:22:57,838
(music) take a ride,
is what you see inside ok? (music)
1798
01:22:57,906 --> 01:23:03,010
(music) and everything shines
in the light of the day (music)
1799
01:23:03,078 --> 01:23:07,848
(music) you call me
your revelation (music)
1800
01:23:07,916 --> 01:23:13,787
(music) for you (music)
1801
01:23:15,924 --> 01:23:17,858
[applause]
1802
01:23:17,926 --> 01:23:22,763
Alice: So, I think
that brings us to the toasts,
1803
01:23:22,831 --> 01:23:24,865
And I think we should
toast my sister
1804
01:23:24,933 --> 01:23:26,867
And my new sister-in-law.
1805
01:23:26,935 --> 01:23:31,972
So I think the lovely
and articulate Simon
1806
01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:33,207
Will do the honors, right?
1807
01:23:33,274 --> 01:23:34,708
Skip: Big skip.
1808
01:23:34,776 --> 01:23:37,878
Big skip.
Well, come and prove it.
1809
01:23:37,946 --> 01:23:39,813
[applause]
1810
01:23:41,616 --> 01:23:43,550
Thank you. Thank you.
1811
01:23:43,618 --> 01:23:46,053
Well, here they are.
1812
01:23:46,121 --> 01:23:48,889
We're here for these
2 lovely ladies
1813
01:23:48,957 --> 01:23:51,892
On this momentous occasion.
1814
01:23:51,960 --> 01:23:54,895
And we're all
happy for them.
1815
01:23:54,963 --> 01:23:58,232
Oh. Oh, I have a perfect joke
for tonight. Yes, I do.
1816
01:23:58,299 --> 01:24:00,401
It's not dirty.
It's not a dirty joke!
1817
01:24:00,468 --> 01:24:03,904
It's not a dirty joke.
Just let people have--
1818
01:24:03,972 --> 01:24:05,906
It's a simple joke.
1819
01:24:05,974 --> 01:24:08,909
These 2 gym teachers
walk into a hardware store--
1820
01:24:08,977 --> 01:24:10,911
That's it.
All right.
1821
01:24:10,979 --> 01:24:12,913
[electronic feedback]
1822
01:24:12,981 --> 01:24:15,916
(music) you call me
your revelation (music)
1823
01:24:15,984 --> 01:24:21,255
(music) hold me
in anticipation (music)
1824
01:24:21,322 --> 01:24:25,759
(music) and all I got
is a fascination (music)
1825
01:24:25,827 --> 01:24:30,597
(music) for you (music)
1826
01:24:30,665 --> 01:24:31,932
(music) for you (music)
1827
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:36,937
(music) you call me
your revelation (music)
1828
01:24:37,005 --> 01:24:41,942
(music) hold me
in anticipation (music)
1829
01:24:42,010 --> 01:24:46,613
(music) and all I got
is a fascination (music)
1830
01:24:46,681 --> 01:24:51,452
(music) for you (music)
1831
01:24:51,519 --> 01:24:55,956
(music) for you (music)
1832
01:24:56,305 --> 01:25:56,664
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