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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,994 --> 00:00:36,161 During the spookiest time of the year, 2 00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:37,579 there are a few guidelines 3 00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,833 all ghosts and goblins should follow. 4 00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:41,835 Always stay on sidewalks. 5 00:00:42,252 --> 00:00:44,169 Never go to a stranger's house, 6 00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:45,672 and never go out alone. 7 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:09,612 This was a great idea, honey, really. 8 00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:12,115 It's just magical. 9 00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:14,950 It makes me wish every night was Halloween. 10 00:01:14,951 --> 00:01:15,952 I'm sorry, Em. 11 00:01:17,579 --> 00:01:19,288 Wait, wait. Not yet. 12 00:01:19,289 --> 00:01:20,080 What? 13 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,166 You're supposed to keep it lit. 14 00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:22,499 Why? 15 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,085 I don't know, ancient tradition? 16 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:27,005 Henry, it's Halloween, not Hanukkah. 17 00:01:27,964 --> 00:01:29,882 - Baby, I'm lit and you're lit. - But honey-- 18 00:01:29,883 --> 00:01:32,135 But our little friend here, his night's over. 19 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,805 You know, you should be more careful. 20 00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,974 There are rules. You might upset someone. 21 00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:40,851 Oh, please. Who? 22 00:02:00,872 --> 00:02:01,831 What? 23 00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:05,043 Inside. Upstairs. 24 00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:07,795 Let's take all this crap down. It looks like a crime scene. 25 00:02:07,796 --> 00:02:10,380 - I'll do it in the morning. - No, you won't. 26 00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:12,132 You're gonna sleep until noon 27 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,676 and then play video games until four. 28 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:15,469 And besides, my mom is coming in the morning, 29 00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:17,679 and she'll have an aneurysm if she sees this place. 30 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,807 Really? 31 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,226 I'll do it. 32 00:02:30,652 --> 00:02:32,487 Go inside, put on the tape. 33 00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:46,626 I hate Halloween. 34 00:03:59,324 --> 00:04:00,950 What took you guys so long? 35 00:04:07,332 --> 00:04:08,499 Happy Halloween. 36 00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:25,974 Yeah! Oh, baby! 37 00:05:18,653 --> 00:05:19,696 Emma? 38 00:08:36,309 --> 00:08:40,145 Werewolves, zombies and demons of every variety, 39 00:08:40,146 --> 00:08:42,731 they've all descended on the normally sleepy town 40 00:08:42,732 --> 00:08:44,483 of Warren Valley, Ohio, 41 00:08:44,484 --> 00:08:47,152 where the holiday and all of its strange traditions 42 00:08:47,153 --> 00:08:49,237 are taken very seriously. 43 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:52,032 It's only 8:00 and the streets are already packed 44 00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:53,283 with costumed visitors, 45 00:08:53,284 --> 00:08:55,702 some to show off, others to blend in, 46 00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,246 but all to celebrate the magical night of Halloween, 47 00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:01,000 the one night a year when we can pretend to be 48 00:09:01,209 --> 00:09:03,001 the scariest thing we can think of. 49 00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:09,800 I am not wearing this. 50 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,552 It's too small. 51 00:09:11,761 --> 00:09:14,179 - My tits keep popping out. - That's the idea. 52 00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:15,598 I don't know why we drove here 53 00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:17,224 when there are good guys in the city. 54 00:09:17,225 --> 00:09:18,475 Fresh meat. 55 00:09:18,476 --> 00:09:20,227 It's what we do every Halloween, Laurie. 56 00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:21,811 What happened to trick-or-treating? 57 00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:22,938 Puberty. 58 00:09:22,939 --> 00:09:24,314 Last year we were in Tampa. 59 00:09:24,315 --> 00:09:25,815 And went as sexy nurses. 60 00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:27,567 No, Janet, Tampa was two years ago. 61 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,779 I remember because you puked doing a guy in his pickup. 62 00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:33,907 I ate some bad Mexican, and it was a Jeep. 63 00:09:33,908 --> 00:09:35,575 Last year was San Diego. 64 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,036 We dressed as sailors and ended up with sailors. 65 00:09:38,037 --> 00:09:40,205 Yeah, and Maria's sailor was a girl. 66 00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:41,665 So what? She had a nice ass. 67 00:09:41,666 --> 00:09:43,709 It all tastes the same to me anyway. 68 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:47,003 Ladies, there are children out here. 69 00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:50,340 Okay, all of you come out on the count of three. 70 00:09:50,341 --> 00:09:52,510 One, two, three. 71 00:09:57,848 --> 00:09:58,933 Nice. 72 00:10:06,065 --> 00:10:07,817 - Laurie, come on out. - No. 73 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,318 - Open up. - No. 74 00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:14,824 Open the door, or we'll huff and we'll puff... 75 00:10:15,825 --> 00:10:17,285 Come on, seriously, open up. 76 00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:20,329 Fine, just don't laugh, okay? 77 00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:33,467 Danielle, I look like I'm five. 78 00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,512 Shut up, you look great. 79 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:38,638 It's tradition. 80 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,683 Great. What does tradition say we do now? 81 00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,685 We meet our dates. 82 00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:46,981 Two thirty-three, 30-D. 83 00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:49,900 I mean, $234.33. 84 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,735 Thanks. 85 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,778 You know, this might sound kind of forward, but, 86 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,741 well, we're just in town for a party tonight, 87 00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:59,201 and I was wondering what time you get off work. 88 00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:02,037 Oh. Uh... 89 00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:03,997 In about 20 minutes, actually. 90 00:11:03,998 --> 00:11:06,333 Yeah? You know where Sheep's Meadow is? 91 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:07,792 Sure, yeah, of course. 92 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:10,129 All right. So why don't you meet me there in 45? 93 00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,715 Uh, okay, I guess. 94 00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:15,509 Don't forget your costume. 95 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,683 That can't be good for your diabetes, Charlie. 96 00:12:04,684 --> 00:12:06,184 Uh... 97 00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:07,937 Don't waste a good lie on this. 98 00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:10,439 It's just candy. 99 00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:12,358 Guess it's a good thing I got more. 100 00:12:12,942 --> 00:12:15,276 Why don't you sit down, stay for a minute? 101 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,404 Oh, I can't. I have-- 102 00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:18,572 Sit down, Charlie. 103 00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,784 Your problem is simple. 104 00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:23,827 You always wait for them to come to you. 105 00:12:23,828 --> 00:12:25,788 If you just tried a little harder, 106 00:12:25,955 --> 00:12:27,707 you wouldn't be a virgin at 22. 107 00:12:28,124 --> 00:12:29,958 What? Excuse me? 108 00:12:29,959 --> 00:12:31,584 It's practically stapled to your forehead. 109 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:32,669 Oh! 110 00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:34,839 Laurie, please, do not listen to them. 111 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:37,383 Okay, the key thing is to just be yourself. 112 00:12:38,384 --> 00:12:40,510 Being myself hasn't gotten me very far. 113 00:12:40,511 --> 00:12:41,928 Maybe I'm too old-fashioned, 114 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,097 but I've always wanted my first time to be-- 115 00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:45,891 - No, please, don't say it. - Special. 116 00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:48,936 Honey, listen, we've all been there, 117 00:12:49,145 --> 00:12:50,646 but you can't hesitate. 118 00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:52,481 Watch. 119 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,657 That's some big equipment you've got there. 120 00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:06,203 - Thank you. - I'm Maria. This is Janet. 121 00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:09,957 - And we have a small problem. - Really? 122 00:13:10,416 --> 00:13:12,626 We've got this great party to go to... 123 00:13:15,171 --> 00:13:16,672 But we don't have any dates. 124 00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:23,763 Here. Help yourself. 125 00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,474 It's for the pumpkin, not you. 126 00:13:27,475 --> 00:13:28,601 Promise. 127 00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,603 All of mine were dull. 128 00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:40,654 Ahh. Smashing jack-o'-lanterns? 129 00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,114 Stealing candy? 130 00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:44,407 It's okay. 131 00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:46,786 Believe it or not, I was just like you when I was a kid. 132 00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:49,788 Till my dad set me straight, that is. 133 00:13:49,789 --> 00:13:51,623 See, my dad taught me tonight 134 00:13:51,624 --> 00:13:54,043 is about respecting the dead, 135 00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:57,546 because this is the one night that the dead, 136 00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,465 and all sorts of other things, roam free... 137 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,010 ...and pay us a visit. 138 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:05,221 Sorry. 139 00:14:06,222 --> 00:14:07,640 All these traditions, 140 00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:09,642 jack-o'-lanterns, 141 00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:13,270 putting on costumes, handing out treats, 142 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,941 they were started to protect us, but nowadays... 143 00:14:18,943 --> 00:14:20,402 no one really cares. 144 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,279 Yeah. 145 00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:26,909 I didn't do such a good job, did I? 146 00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:29,161 What do you think? 147 00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:33,040 Hey. 148 00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:36,669 You okay? 149 00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:39,880 You need a root beer? 150 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,093 Oh, wait. 151 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,513 That's right. There's another tradition. 152 00:14:48,848 --> 00:14:50,307 A very important one. 153 00:14:53,269 --> 00:14:54,979 Always check your candy. 154 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,152 Hey. 155 00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,029 Trick or... 156 00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,128 Trick or treat! 157 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,758 - We know you're in there! - We can see you! 158 00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,013 - Hello! - Just a minute! 159 00:16:16,644 --> 00:16:18,686 Wait. No! 160 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:20,105 No. Shh! Shh! 161 00:16:23,943 --> 00:16:25,402 Great costume, Mr. Wilkins. 162 00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:28,279 Oh. Uh... 163 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,490 Uh... 164 00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:31,450 Oh, right, candy. 165 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,578 Thanks. 166 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,081 Principal Wilkins, do you think we might be able 167 00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:40,167 to have your jack-o'-lantern, please? 168 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:41,876 You're not gonna smash it, are you? 169 00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:43,963 No, it's a scavenger hunt 170 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,673 for UNICEF. 171 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:49,051 Anything for a good cause. 172 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,434 Happy Halloween. 173 00:16:58,769 --> 00:17:01,146 Yeah. Happy Halloween. 174 00:17:05,818 --> 00:17:06,986 Didn't you get one? 175 00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:22,333 We're going with that. 176 00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:23,584 Are you sure about this? 177 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,378 There's gotta be one or two extra guys there. 178 00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:28,007 - I could help you. - Go. I'll meet you there. 179 00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:30,425 Call me if you get into trouble. 180 00:17:30,426 --> 00:17:32,176 You're turning into Mom. 181 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:34,262 Ouch. 182 00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:37,391 - Just remember to be yourself. - But play hard to get. 183 00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:38,851 Bye, Danielle! 184 00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:03,042 Hmmm. 185 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:22,686 Happy Halloween. 186 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,319 Daddy! 187 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,738 I'm back from trick-or-treating! 188 00:18:33,739 --> 00:18:35,323 Billy. Shh. 189 00:18:35,324 --> 00:18:37,826 - Please, be quiet. - Why? 190 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,328 Because you'll bother the neighbors. 191 00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:42,247 Now go watch Charlie Brown 192 00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:44,290 and I'll be in in a minute. 193 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:48,337 - Charlie Brown's an asshole! - Billy Wilkins! Language. 194 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,660 Shh, shh! Uh... 195 00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,331 Wait, hold on. 196 00:19:27,501 --> 00:19:28,960 Come on. There you... 197 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:34,423 Ah? 198 00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,467 Mmm, yeah. 199 00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:37,678 Here you go. Go get it! 200 00:19:38,137 --> 00:19:39,138 Shit. 201 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,062 Spite! 202 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,320 Spite! 203 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:56,613 Get your ass in here. 204 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:00,784 Are you finished crapping or what? 205 00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,287 Who the hell is that? 206 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:08,500 I got an NRA membership in my pocket! 207 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,877 And a shotgun over the fireplace! 208 00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:13,505 - So, get out of here before-- - It's me, Mr. Kreeg. 209 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,425 Steven, Steven Wilkins. 210 00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:19,135 What in God's name are you doing down there, Wilkins? 211 00:20:19,136 --> 00:20:20,219 Hiding bodies? 212 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,390 What did you say? 213 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,433 Nothing. 214 00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:28,478 It's... The septic tank is acting up. 215 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:29,771 Is that what that smell is? 216 00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,480 I'm afraid so. 217 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:32,982 Then fix it! 218 00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:34,651 It stinks like a dead whore out here. 219 00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,362 I'm... 220 00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:39,322 ...trying. 221 00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:42,409 Keep your kid out of my yard! 222 00:20:43,911 --> 00:20:45,120 Goddamn freak. 223 00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,248 Happy Halloween. 224 00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:50,500 Screw you! 225 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,306 Daddy! 226 00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:07,266 I wanna carve the jack-o'-lantern now, 227 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:09,060 but I need your help with the eyes. 228 00:21:09,061 --> 00:21:10,562 In a minute, Billy. 229 00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:14,273 And can I go to the parade with you later? 230 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:16,360 No, Daddy has a date. 231 00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:17,693 Oh! 232 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:20,072 But we haven't done anything fun together. 233 00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:23,783 How about if we make some caramel apples, 234 00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:25,576 just like Grandpa used to? 235 00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:26,994 How about that? 236 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:27,996 When? 237 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,916 After we carve the jack-o'-lantern, 238 00:21:31,124 --> 00:21:33,543 but you have to be quiet. 239 00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:35,128 Okay. 240 00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:45,180 But don't forget to help me with the eyes! 241 00:21:59,778 --> 00:22:02,197 "Daddy, I wanna carve a pumpkin." 242 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,367 "Daddy, I wanna go to the parade." 243 00:22:06,243 --> 00:22:08,453 "Daddy, I wish Mommy was still alive." 244 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:21,758 Wilkins, over here! 245 00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:28,055 Help me! 246 00:22:28,056 --> 00:22:29,558 Screw you. 247 00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:38,191 Billy! 248 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:54,291 I gotcha. 249 00:22:59,338 --> 00:23:01,172 So, can we carve it now? 250 00:23:03,675 --> 00:23:04,843 Yeah. 251 00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:07,804 Let's go downstairs. 252 00:24:08,532 --> 00:24:11,368 Let's carve a scary face this time. 253 00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:14,996 A scary face it is. 254 00:24:35,892 --> 00:24:37,519 Wrap it around. 255 00:24:40,564 --> 00:24:43,316 But don't forget to help me with the eyes. 256 00:24:58,999 --> 00:25:01,167 Trick or treat! 257 00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:07,339 Aren't you guys adorable? 258 00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:09,217 Thanks, Mrs. Henderson. 259 00:25:09,593 --> 00:25:11,594 That's a great costume. 260 00:25:11,595 --> 00:25:12,846 I know. 261 00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:16,641 Isn't it just "purr-fect"? 262 00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:22,271 You want a drink or something? It'll be our little secret. 263 00:25:22,272 --> 00:25:23,607 Sure. 264 00:25:23,982 --> 00:25:24,983 No, thanks. 265 00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:27,401 - But, um... - All right, fine. 266 00:25:27,402 --> 00:25:28,819 I'll see what I got for you. 267 00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:31,448 Actually, Mrs. Henderson, we were sort of wondering if... 268 00:25:35,952 --> 00:25:38,120 - ...if you might... - Holy shit. 269 00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:39,789 ...have a jack-o'-lantern 270 00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:41,625 we could borrow. 271 00:25:42,209 --> 00:25:43,251 Here you go. 272 00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:46,004 Now, be safe. 273 00:25:48,298 --> 00:25:50,217 And watch out for monsters. 274 00:25:52,844 --> 00:25:54,804 I don't even know what that was. 275 00:25:55,180 --> 00:25:58,850 Coach Taylor was in a hot-dog costume butt-fucking a pig. 276 00:25:59,309 --> 00:26:02,270 - I think. And then-- - Chip. Let's just not. 277 00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:11,488 - Trick or treat. - What'd you find? 278 00:26:13,365 --> 00:26:14,657 That's it? 279 00:26:14,658 --> 00:26:17,243 Some asshole went down the street smashing all of them. 280 00:26:17,244 --> 00:26:18,619 But we have three. 281 00:26:18,620 --> 00:26:19,871 Isn't this enough? 282 00:26:21,248 --> 00:26:22,207 Almost. 283 00:26:30,423 --> 00:26:32,383 Macy, why didn't we just start here? 284 00:26:32,384 --> 00:26:34,427 I didn't know she'd do this. 285 00:26:37,097 --> 00:26:38,056 This is weird. 286 00:26:39,683 --> 00:26:41,433 Is that Rhonda the retard? 287 00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:43,727 She's not a retard, she's an idiot savant. 288 00:26:43,728 --> 00:26:44,980 Here she comes. 289 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:50,485 You're on, Schrader. 290 00:27:01,913 --> 00:27:03,373 Did you carve all these yourself? 291 00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:07,586 Yeah. Made my costume too. 292 00:27:08,086 --> 00:27:09,253 Like it? 293 00:27:09,254 --> 00:27:10,422 I do. 294 00:27:11,881 --> 00:27:12,841 I'm Schrader. 295 00:27:14,676 --> 00:27:15,677 Rhonda. 296 00:27:43,872 --> 00:27:45,415 Let's get another drink. 297 00:29:07,414 --> 00:29:08,540 Henry. 298 00:29:10,959 --> 00:29:12,251 I need help. 299 00:29:12,252 --> 00:29:13,920 She's just drunk, baby. Come on. 300 00:30:14,272 --> 00:30:15,899 You must really like Halloween. 301 00:30:16,441 --> 00:30:17,734 You mean Samhain? 302 00:30:18,067 --> 00:30:19,110 What? 303 00:30:19,402 --> 00:30:22,029 Samhain, also known as All Hallows' Eve, 304 00:30:22,030 --> 00:30:23,782 also known as Halloween. 305 00:30:24,115 --> 00:30:26,201 Pre-dating Christianity, the Celtic holiday 306 00:30:26,409 --> 00:30:29,536 was celebrated on the one night between autumn and winter 307 00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:32,247 when the barrier between the living and dead was thinnest 308 00:30:32,248 --> 00:30:36,377 and often involved rituals that included human sacrifice. 309 00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:42,342 I like your eye patch. 310 00:30:43,384 --> 00:30:44,344 Oh. 311 00:31:12,622 --> 00:31:14,081 Great, a rock quarry. 312 00:31:14,082 --> 00:31:16,083 Nice way to celebrate Halloween, Macy. 313 00:31:16,084 --> 00:31:17,543 Why are we here? 314 00:31:17,544 --> 00:31:19,045 To pay our respects to the dead. 315 00:31:19,587 --> 00:31:21,798 What happened? Did somebody die here? 316 00:31:22,340 --> 00:31:23,299 Wait. 317 00:31:24,050 --> 00:31:25,009 Is this where...? 318 00:31:25,927 --> 00:31:28,095 It is, isn't it? This is where that school-- 319 00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:29,388 Shut up, Sara. 320 00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:31,140 The Halloween School Bus Massacre. 321 00:31:31,641 --> 00:31:33,517 Just don't call it that. 322 00:31:33,518 --> 00:31:35,602 - What's she talking about? - It's this awesome town legend. 323 00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:36,937 There was this bus full-- 324 00:31:36,938 --> 00:31:39,440 Jesus, will you shut up and let me tell the damn story? 325 00:31:41,317 --> 00:31:42,610 You said a bad word. 326 00:31:48,449 --> 00:31:49,868 It happened 30 years ago... 327 00:31:51,244 --> 00:31:54,455 on a late Halloween afternoon. 328 00:32:03,965 --> 00:32:06,301 A school bus was on its usual route. 329 00:32:08,553 --> 00:32:10,555 But this wasn't your typical school bus... 330 00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:13,808 and they weren't your typical kids. 331 00:32:21,399 --> 00:32:22,650 There were eight of them... 332 00:32:23,568 --> 00:32:24,903 and they were different. 333 00:32:25,695 --> 00:32:26,738 Troubled. 334 00:32:27,113 --> 00:32:28,489 Disturbed. 335 00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:33,911 Every day, parents put their dirty secrets on this bus 336 00:32:33,912 --> 00:32:36,330 to be driven to a school miles outside of town. 337 00:32:36,331 --> 00:32:39,542 3260. 338 00:32:40,418 --> 00:32:43,504 3264. 339 00:32:44,505 --> 00:32:47,508 3266. 340 00:32:50,595 --> 00:32:51,846 But that day... 341 00:32:54,182 --> 00:32:55,934 the driver took a different route. 342 00:33:04,609 --> 00:33:05,693 Wrong way. 343 00:33:06,653 --> 00:33:07,612 Wrong way. 344 00:33:15,161 --> 00:33:16,120 Wrong way. 345 00:33:16,996 --> 00:33:18,915 And instead of taking the students home... 346 00:33:21,793 --> 00:33:23,920 he drove the bus to an abandoned rock quarry. 347 00:33:25,588 --> 00:33:27,507 This rock quarry. 348 00:33:41,229 --> 00:33:43,355 What the kids didn't know was that over the years, 349 00:33:43,356 --> 00:33:44,983 their parents had become exhausted, 350 00:33:45,525 --> 00:33:46,693 embarrassed. 351 00:33:53,574 --> 00:33:56,160 And they were willing to do anything to ease their burden. 352 00:34:00,498 --> 00:34:01,582 So, one day, 353 00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:04,836 the parents approached the bus driver and made him an offer. 354 00:34:14,178 --> 00:34:15,470 Shh. 355 00:34:15,471 --> 00:34:17,180 With the money they collected together, 356 00:34:17,181 --> 00:34:19,183 they asked him to do the unthinkable. 357 00:34:34,824 --> 00:34:36,367 It almost worked perfectly. 358 00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:38,953 Wrong way. 359 00:34:40,872 --> 00:34:41,831 Wrong way. 360 00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:48,629 Home. Home. 361 00:34:49,714 --> 00:34:50,757 I wanna go home. 362 00:34:53,593 --> 00:34:54,635 I wanna go home. 363 00:35:01,809 --> 00:35:02,894 Home. 364 00:35:10,276 --> 00:35:12,153 Home. Home. 365 00:35:15,865 --> 00:35:18,201 Home! Go home! 366 00:35:20,286 --> 00:35:21,329 Home. 367 00:36:00,868 --> 00:36:03,162 The driver was never heard from again. 368 00:36:20,805 --> 00:36:22,056 As for the bus, 369 00:36:22,431 --> 00:36:24,016 some say it sank so deep 370 00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:25,768 that it couldn't be found. 371 00:36:27,186 --> 00:36:30,189 Others say the town just didn't want it to be found. 372 00:36:31,774 --> 00:36:34,193 For all we know, it's still down there... 373 00:36:35,611 --> 00:36:37,071 and so are those kids. 374 00:36:45,079 --> 00:36:46,414 You are so full of shit. 375 00:36:47,290 --> 00:36:48,249 Really? 376 00:36:49,167 --> 00:36:51,043 Then I guess you won't mind being first. 377 00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:52,253 First what? 378 00:36:53,087 --> 00:36:54,296 Eight victims, 379 00:36:54,297 --> 00:36:55,923 eight jack-o'-lanterns... 380 00:36:57,049 --> 00:36:59,177 each one representing a lost soul. 381 00:37:00,219 --> 00:37:03,181 So, we're going to leave them by the side of the lake 382 00:37:03,347 --> 00:37:04,974 as an offering to those who died. 383 00:37:08,060 --> 00:37:09,061 Oh. 384 00:37:34,545 --> 00:37:35,796 Is that one of yours? 385 00:37:37,173 --> 00:37:38,132 Yes. 386 00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:40,509 It's very pretty. 387 00:37:42,428 --> 00:37:43,471 Thank you. 388 00:38:03,908 --> 00:38:06,535 It can only hold three... safely. 389 00:38:07,703 --> 00:38:09,247 I'll send the keys back up. 390 00:38:10,164 --> 00:38:11,414 You guys bring the rest. 391 00:38:11,415 --> 00:38:13,292 Uh... Okay. 392 00:39:09,098 --> 00:39:11,350 - Hello? - Who's your favorite big sister? 393 00:39:16,105 --> 00:39:17,356 You there? 394 00:39:20,192 --> 00:39:21,359 Yeah. Hi. 395 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,321 So, there's a guy here who really wants to meet you. 396 00:39:24,322 --> 00:39:25,488 Is he young? 397 00:39:25,489 --> 00:39:26,990 Cute? 398 00:39:26,991 --> 00:39:28,533 Uh... Yeah. 399 00:39:28,534 --> 00:39:29,952 Yeah, no, you could say that. 400 00:39:30,202 --> 00:39:32,579 He's, uh, he's really, really nice. 401 00:39:32,580 --> 00:39:33,998 So, he's hideous. 402 00:39:34,623 --> 00:39:37,251 Just get your ass over here. Beggars can't be choosers. 403 00:39:42,590 --> 00:39:43,591 Nice. 404 00:39:44,342 --> 00:39:45,384 Great. 405 00:39:46,552 --> 00:39:47,803 Not now, Andrew. 406 00:39:48,387 --> 00:39:50,056 - Josh. - Whatever. 407 00:39:57,229 --> 00:39:58,647 Werewolves. 408 00:40:01,525 --> 00:40:02,735 Very funny. 409 00:40:16,791 --> 00:40:18,500 That bus is around here somewhere. 410 00:40:18,501 --> 00:40:19,876 I think it's over here. 411 00:40:19,877 --> 00:40:22,295 Over where? I can't see shit in this fog. 412 00:40:22,296 --> 00:40:23,588 Think I found a dead retard. 413 00:40:23,589 --> 00:40:26,257 - That's me, asshole. - Like I said. 414 00:40:26,258 --> 00:40:28,677 Both of you shut up and keep looking. 415 00:40:29,220 --> 00:40:31,138 There's something moving by that rock. 416 00:40:31,305 --> 00:40:33,391 - I can't see. - Jesus, what is that? 417 00:40:33,766 --> 00:40:36,017 Help me! 418 00:40:36,018 --> 00:40:38,145 Sara! Where's Sara? 419 00:40:40,106 --> 00:40:41,232 Run! 420 00:40:41,857 --> 00:40:43,567 - Nowhere to go! - I wanna go back up! 421 00:41:00,584 --> 00:41:01,669 Macy? 422 00:41:02,002 --> 00:41:03,796 Schrader? Sara? 423 00:41:22,606 --> 00:41:23,649 Aren't you coming? 424 00:41:25,276 --> 00:41:26,443 Okay, stay here. 425 00:41:26,444 --> 00:41:28,404 Don't let the candles go out and they'll protect you, okay? 426 00:44:36,050 --> 00:44:37,760 Oh, shit. 427 00:44:41,972 --> 00:44:43,473 Is she dead? 428 00:44:43,474 --> 00:44:44,433 Hey. 429 00:44:49,730 --> 00:44:50,856 Rhonda? 430 00:44:52,274 --> 00:44:53,400 Rhonda? 431 00:45:07,373 --> 00:45:08,957 And it was all going so well. 432 00:45:11,001 --> 00:45:13,754 - You're all dead! - Rhonda, calm down. 433 00:45:14,755 --> 00:45:16,006 It was all just a trick. 434 00:45:16,965 --> 00:45:18,425 Look, none of this is real. 435 00:45:18,801 --> 00:45:20,177 It was just a trick. 436 00:45:21,178 --> 00:45:22,512 A bad joke. 437 00:45:22,513 --> 00:45:23,806 I'd say it was a pretty good one. 438 00:45:24,848 --> 00:45:25,933 Shut up. 439 00:45:30,979 --> 00:45:31,980 Here, let me see. 440 00:45:36,819 --> 00:45:37,778 Does it hurt? 441 00:45:47,204 --> 00:45:48,663 Go pack everything up. We're leaving. 442 00:45:48,664 --> 00:45:49,747 Says who? 443 00:45:49,748 --> 00:45:51,667 Macy, she's scared out of her mind. 444 00:45:51,834 --> 00:45:53,168 What else do you want? 445 00:45:58,674 --> 00:45:59,758 Let's go. 446 00:46:06,849 --> 00:46:08,100 This one's still lit. 447 00:46:17,025 --> 00:46:19,903 If this was all a trick, then how did the school bus get here? 448 00:46:20,446 --> 00:46:21,572 That part's true. 449 00:46:22,322 --> 00:46:23,824 What happened to the bus driver? 450 00:46:24,116 --> 00:46:25,409 I don't know, Chip. 451 00:46:25,701 --> 00:46:27,995 What? 452 00:46:28,495 --> 00:46:29,747 I didn't say anything. 453 00:46:32,332 --> 00:46:33,542 I'm not in the mood. 454 00:46:34,084 --> 00:46:35,376 It wasn't me. 455 00:46:39,131 --> 00:46:40,214 What is that? 456 00:46:49,725 --> 00:46:50,934 Not again. 457 00:46:53,312 --> 00:46:55,856 - Over here! - Wait here. 458 00:46:58,567 --> 00:46:59,985 Help us! 459 00:47:00,778 --> 00:47:01,987 Schrader! 460 00:47:12,456 --> 00:47:14,749 - Schrader! - What the hell? 461 00:47:14,750 --> 00:47:16,626 We have to go. We have to get out of here. 462 00:47:16,627 --> 00:47:18,377 - Calm down. - We have to go! 463 00:47:18,378 --> 00:47:19,962 - Look, Macy-- - Listen to me! 464 00:47:19,963 --> 00:47:22,799 We heard voices. There are other people here. 465 00:47:28,555 --> 00:47:29,681 What is that? 466 00:47:58,085 --> 00:47:59,878 No! Run! 467 00:48:05,509 --> 00:48:07,176 Rhonda, open the gate! 468 00:48:07,177 --> 00:48:08,971 - Let us in, please! - Open the gate! 469 00:48:11,014 --> 00:48:12,140 Open the gate, please. 470 00:48:20,315 --> 00:48:21,275 Come on. 471 00:48:25,070 --> 00:48:26,071 Open the gate! 472 00:48:31,410 --> 00:48:33,995 - No! Rhonda, look at me. - What are you doing? 473 00:48:33,996 --> 00:48:35,372 It's not a trick, it's real. 474 00:48:36,707 --> 00:48:37,749 Come back! 475 00:48:39,585 --> 00:48:40,711 Where is she going? 476 00:48:41,587 --> 00:48:43,255 Rhonda! 477 00:50:03,919 --> 00:50:06,046 I'm not in the mood, so just come on out! 478 00:50:20,394 --> 00:50:22,396 Oh, my God. She's so funny. 479 00:50:26,858 --> 00:50:28,068 No, thanks. 480 00:50:30,195 --> 00:50:32,155 She's a big girl. She can take care of herself. 481 00:50:33,281 --> 00:50:34,574 I wish that were true. 482 00:50:35,242 --> 00:50:37,869 Mom always said she was the runt of the litter. 483 00:50:47,004 --> 00:50:49,047 My, my, 484 00:50:49,548 --> 00:50:52,843 what big eyes you have. 485 00:50:56,638 --> 00:50:59,348 So, where's this guy you're setting her up with, 486 00:50:59,349 --> 00:51:00,308 the nice one? 487 00:51:14,156 --> 00:51:15,240 Laurie. 488 00:51:40,223 --> 00:51:41,475 Oh, my God. 489 00:51:46,104 --> 00:51:48,857 Please, help me. 490 00:52:06,249 --> 00:52:07,417 There she is. 491 00:52:10,170 --> 00:52:11,505 Laurie, what's going on? 492 00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:13,548 You're late. 493 00:52:14,508 --> 00:52:16,718 Sorry. It took longer than I thought. 494 00:52:18,178 --> 00:52:19,596 What did he do to you? 495 00:52:20,889 --> 00:52:23,266 I listened to their advice and played hard to get. 496 00:52:23,725 --> 00:52:24,684 He bit me. 497 00:52:28,814 --> 00:52:31,608 Well, at least you made it. Drink? 498 00:52:33,485 --> 00:52:34,568 Sure. 499 00:52:37,614 --> 00:52:38,573 Come here. 500 00:52:41,243 --> 00:52:43,327 Please. 501 00:52:43,328 --> 00:52:44,913 Say "ah." 502 00:52:55,423 --> 00:52:57,342 Huh. Not bad. 503 00:53:02,097 --> 00:53:03,306 What's your name, honey? 504 00:53:04,099 --> 00:53:06,225 Steven. 505 00:53:06,226 --> 00:53:08,895 - Steven? - Steven Wilkins. 506 00:53:09,521 --> 00:53:11,314 I'm glad you're her first, I really am. 507 00:53:12,149 --> 00:53:13,150 I like you. 508 00:53:14,109 --> 00:53:15,610 Who are you people? 509 00:53:49,519 --> 00:53:50,729 I'm nervous. 510 00:53:53,398 --> 00:53:54,441 Hey. 511 00:53:55,650 --> 00:53:57,027 You're gonna be fine. 512 00:53:58,403 --> 00:53:59,571 Just be yourself. 513 00:54:20,550 --> 00:54:23,011 It's my first time, so... 514 00:54:24,262 --> 00:54:26,264 just bear with me. 515 00:55:14,479 --> 00:55:15,605 What are you doing? 516 00:55:53,893 --> 00:55:55,729 My, my, 517 00:55:56,229 --> 00:55:59,858 what big eyes you have. 518 00:57:39,833 --> 00:57:42,669 Trick or... treat. 519 00:58:55,617 --> 00:58:58,035 You push it in, you slide the food in. 520 00:58:58,036 --> 00:59:00,121 It pops right out, okay? 521 00:59:00,413 --> 00:59:01,580 I'm gonna take this device. 522 00:59:01,581 --> 00:59:03,499 I've done it a few times already. 523 00:59:03,500 --> 00:59:05,125 Inside here... 524 00:59:05,126 --> 00:59:08,004 I'm gonna show the folks how to put it on the spit rod. 525 00:59:08,296 --> 00:59:09,671 It's so darn easy. 526 00:59:09,672 --> 00:59:12,257 I take the meat, and all I'm gonna do 527 00:59:12,258 --> 00:59:14,259 is just center it like this. 528 00:59:14,260 --> 00:59:15,220 It goes down. 529 00:59:16,971 --> 00:59:19,765 I'll put the wheel on. It's as simple as this. 530 00:59:19,766 --> 00:59:22,684 This is about a seven-pound pork loin roast. 531 00:59:22,685 --> 00:59:24,020 I'll put it in the machine, 532 00:59:24,354 --> 00:59:27,023 I'll slide it back, put up the window. 533 00:59:27,982 --> 00:59:30,526 - You set it, and...? - Forget it! 534 00:59:30,527 --> 00:59:34,155 Right. I'm gonna go over to the pork loin roast over here now... 535 00:59:35,156 --> 00:59:36,783 and I'm gonna take this one out. 536 00:59:37,283 --> 00:59:38,408 This has been done-- 537 00:59:38,409 --> 00:59:39,535 It's only eight o'clock 538 00:59:39,536 --> 00:59:41,662 and the streets are already packed with costumed visitors, 539 00:59:41,663 --> 00:59:44,081 some to show off, others to blend in, 540 00:59:44,082 --> 00:59:46,542 but all to celebrate the magical night of Halloween. 541 00:59:54,926 --> 00:59:56,969 Baked goods and crops were left out 542 00:59:56,970 --> 00:59:58,345 as offerings for the dead, 543 00:59:58,346 --> 01:00:00,264 a custom now known as trick-or-treating. 544 01:00:00,265 --> 01:00:01,266 Christ. 545 01:00:02,475 --> 01:00:04,101 ...revolutionary. Now look. 546 01:00:04,102 --> 01:00:07,062 Let me just start cutting this over here so that folks can see. 547 01:00:08,731 --> 01:00:11,441 Isn't this beautiful? Look at this over here, folks, huh? 548 01:00:58,406 --> 01:01:00,033 Happy Halloween. 549 01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:05,830 Spite? 550 01:01:06,956 --> 01:01:08,041 Spite? 551 01:01:21,220 --> 01:01:22,304 Spite. 552 01:01:22,305 --> 01:01:23,973 Get your ass in here. 553 01:01:31,981 --> 01:01:33,316 Are you finished crapping or what? 554 01:01:37,945 --> 01:01:39,947 Who the hell is that? 555 01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,494 I've got an NRA membership in my pocket... 556 01:01:45,036 --> 01:01:46,371 and a shotgun over the fireplace, 557 01:01:46,788 --> 01:01:48,121 so get out of here before I-- 558 01:01:48,122 --> 01:01:50,833 It's me, Mr. Kreeg. 559 01:01:51,459 --> 01:01:53,086 Steven. Steven Wilkins. 560 01:01:54,045 --> 01:01:57,465 What...? What in God's name are you doing down there, Wilkins? 561 01:01:59,008 --> 01:02:01,010 Hiding bodies? 562 01:02:03,596 --> 01:02:05,765 - What did you say? - Nothing. 563 01:02:06,099 --> 01:02:07,724 The septic tank is acting up. 564 01:02:07,725 --> 01:02:08,976 Well, fix it! 565 01:02:09,644 --> 01:02:11,604 It stinks like a dead whore out here. 566 01:02:11,979 --> 01:02:15,233 I'm... trying. 567 01:02:15,483 --> 01:02:17,026 Keep your kid out of my yard! 568 01:02:18,152 --> 01:02:19,320 Goddamn freak. 569 01:02:23,282 --> 01:02:24,492 Happy Halloween. 570 01:02:25,410 --> 01:02:26,536 Screw you! 571 01:02:44,137 --> 01:02:45,680 Get the hell off my...! 572 01:03:44,739 --> 01:03:46,699 Well, zip-a-dee-doo-dah. 573 01:04:00,254 --> 01:04:01,339 Spite? 574 01:04:35,665 --> 01:04:36,791 Spite? 575 01:06:42,041 --> 01:06:43,250 Who the hell are you? 576 01:08:32,735 --> 01:08:35,653 Wilkins! Wilkins! 577 01:08:35,654 --> 01:08:37,615 Over here! Wilkins! 578 01:08:37,823 --> 01:08:40,034 Wilkins, help me, goddamn it! 579 01:08:40,284 --> 01:08:42,620 Help me! Wilkins! 580 01:08:42,995 --> 01:08:44,121 Help me! 581 01:10:21,302 --> 01:10:24,429 - 911, please hold. - Hello? Hello? 582 01:10:28,392 --> 01:10:30,393 911, what is your emergency? 583 01:10:30,394 --> 01:10:33,146 Yeah, I-- I'd-- I'd like to report... 584 01:10:33,147 --> 01:10:34,356 Hello? 585 01:10:34,940 --> 01:10:37,109 Hello? Hello? 586 01:11:11,227 --> 01:11:13,145 You gotta be fucking kidding me. 587 01:12:02,945 --> 01:12:04,613 Oh, no. 588 01:14:58,704 --> 01:15:00,706 Trick or treat. 589 01:15:06,295 --> 01:15:07,546 Thank you. 590 01:15:10,424 --> 01:15:11,717 Thank you. 591 01:15:15,637 --> 01:15:16,804 Thanks, Mr. Kreeg. 592 01:15:16,805 --> 01:15:18,515 Great mummy costume. 593 01:15:42,915 --> 01:15:44,166 Thank you. 594 01:16:16,907 --> 01:16:18,867 This was a great idea, honey. 595 01:16:19,952 --> 01:16:21,410 It's just magical. 596 01:16:21,411 --> 01:16:23,205 It makes me wish every night was Halloween. 597 01:16:26,083 --> 01:16:27,375 I'm sorry, Em. 598 01:16:27,376 --> 01:16:29,127 Wait, wait. Not yet. 599 01:16:30,629 --> 01:16:31,630 What? 600 01:16:32,256 --> 01:16:33,464 You're supposed to keep it lit. 601 01:16:33,465 --> 01:16:34,550 Why? 602 01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:36,300 I don't know, ancient tradition? 603 01:16:36,301 --> 01:16:38,512 Henry, it's Halloween, not Hanukkah. 604 01:16:38,720 --> 01:16:40,806 Baby, I'm lit, and you're lit. 605 01:16:41,306 --> 01:16:43,600 But your little friend here? His night's over. 606 01:16:45,894 --> 01:16:48,813 You know, you should be more careful. There are rules. 607 01:16:48,814 --> 01:16:50,190 You might upset someone. 608 01:16:50,649 --> 01:16:52,442 Oh, please. Who? 609 01:17:27,644 --> 01:17:29,187 Trick or treat. 37699

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