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1
00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:05,705
♪♪
2
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:15,064
♪ Love ♪
3
00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:18,890
♪ exciting and new ♪
4
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:22,767
♪ come aboard ♪
5
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,736
♪ we're expecting you ♪
6
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,948
♪ and love ♪
7
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:34,830
♪ life's sweetest reward ♪
8
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:38,999
♪ let it flow ♪
9
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,000
♪ it floats back to you ♪
10
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:46,464
♪ the love boat ♪
11
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:51,506
♪ soon will be making
another run ♪
12
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,803
♪ the love boat ♪
13
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:59,308
♪ promises something
for everyone ♪
14
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,522
♪ set a course for adventure ♪
15
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:07,823
♪ your mind on a new romance ♪
16
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,201
♪ and love ♪
17
00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:15,329
♪ won't hurt anymore ♪
18
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:19,198
♪ it's an open smile ♪
19
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:23,627
♪ on a friendly shore ♪
20
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:28,298
♪ it's love ♪
21
00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:34,299
♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪
22
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,070
Hey, good --
there's the doc.
23
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,198
Now, trap him in the elevator,
and remember --
24
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,543
he's the only thing standing
25
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,498
between us
and half a million dollars,
26
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,368
so do your stuff, baby,
hmm?
27
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:08,126
Someday, somebody's going to
like me just for myself.
28
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,902
Well, hi.
29
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,649
[ Coughs ]
30
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,777
Which deck, please?
31
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:36,071
[ Hoarsely ] The one where
the doctor is, please.
32
00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:37,735
Oh, I'm the doctor.
33
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,534
[ Coughs ]
34
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:42,287
Sounds like you're coming down
with something.
35
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:45,370
I think it's just a frog
in my throat.
36
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,576
Well, nobody ever croaked
from that.
37
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,377
[ Laughs ]
38
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,421
A little medical humor.
39
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,755
[ Chuckles ]
40
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,880
That's my favorite kind...
41
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,297
Next to funeral jokes.
[ Chuckles ]
42
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,434
Well, why don't we go
to my office,
43
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,436
and, ahem, I can take
a look at you?
44
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:06,768
Thank you.
45
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,443
It'll only take a second.
46
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,942
Oh, take as much time
as you like.
47
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,446
I have no plans
for the evening.
48
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:21,909
Did anyone ever tell you
you're a very attractive man?
49
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,833
Well, yes,
quite a few times.
50
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,793
[ Normal voice ]
Really?!
51
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,423
[ Hoarsely ] I mean, I can
really understand that.
52
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,511
Would you pass me the salt?
53
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,889
Wanna pass me the salt?!
54
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:53,817
Would you pass me the butter,
please?
55
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,150
Thank you.
56
00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:57,204
I got a great idea --
57
00:03:57,278 --> 00:04:00,108
afterwards we can all go into
a phone booth for dessert.
58
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,318
[ Giggles ]
59
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,077
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
60
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:06,619
If you would behave yourself, we
wouldn't have to eat in here.
61
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,334
If you keep this up,
it's gonna cost me my job.
62
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:10,995
Ahh, horsefeathers!
63
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,214
Horsefeathers?
64
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,803
I read a book once.
65
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:15,458
Whatever.
66
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,626
I do not want you speaking to
your father like that.
67
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,625
He's not my father.
68
00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:22,637
I know that. I was only
practicing my character.
69
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,220
How was I?
70
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:28,635
You had warmth up to your
eyeballs, honey.
71
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:44,703
Ellen, let's go to dinner.
72
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:48,164
I'm not hungry.
You go on without me.
73
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,536
You all right?
74
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,042
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm -- I'm just tired.
75
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,875
I'm going to bed.
76
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,260
But I'm sure that you and Wendy
can carry on without me.
77
00:04:57,338 --> 00:05:00,338
Are you sure
you're all right?
78
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,965
Good night, bill.
79
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,010
Good night.
80
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,780
Well, now, miss --
81
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,280
Norma.
82
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:23,071
You see, you can't be too sick.
You remember your name.
83
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,066
[ Both laugh ]
84
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,368
I just love medical humor.
85
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,622
Um, it seems dark in here.
86
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:33,584
Are you sure you have enough
light to examine me?
87
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:36,706
Yeah, uh...Plenty.
88
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,094
Now, let's take a look
at those throats --
89
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,722
I-I mean, that throat.
90
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:44,638
I'm sure you'll make me feel
a lot better.
91
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,469
Well, I hope so.
Say, "ahhh."
92
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,265
Ahhhhh.
93
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:53,438
You'll have to open your mouth
for me to examine you.
94
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:57,649
Is, um, is that
your bedroom in there?
95
00:05:57,732 --> 00:06:02,282
Could you maybe examine me
in there?
96
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:06,951
Um, examination rooms
make me nervous.
97
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:11,043
Well, the patient, like the
customer, is always right.
98
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,003
Mmm, lovely room.
99
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,627
Well, thanks.
100
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,343
Julie helped me decorate.
101
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:26,764
Yes, it has a woman's touch.
102
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:30,184
Oh, I'm sorry.
What I meant was, well...
103
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:34,144
If I'd have decorated it,
I would have, uh --
104
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,727
well, take that lamp there --
105
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,943
I would have picked something
more manly,
106
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:43,534
like something to go with your
rugged personality...
107
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:46,161
Like something with a ship
motif.
108
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,489
I told Julie I had one just like
that, but she took it out.
109
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,155
She said it looked awful.
110
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,834
Oh.
111
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:56,122
Look, if you don't like this
one, I'll get rid of it.
112
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,957
I'll put it
in my waiting room.
113
00:06:58,042 --> 00:07:00,002
[ Normal voice ] Oh!
[ Giggles ]
114
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,546
What is it?
115
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,709
My throat --
it's all better!
116
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,969
You're the best!
117
00:07:10,429 --> 00:07:14,139
I'd like to thank the academy,
but especially miss Julie McCoy,
118
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,765
without whose help this could
have been a memorable evening.
119
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,367
What did you write down?
120
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:35,080
Well, I wrote down the day,
the date, and the time.
121
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,713
What for?
122
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:39,749
Well, when our grandchildren
come up and they say,
123
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,384
"when did you first kiss
grandmommy?"
124
00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,671
I'll have
the, uh, exact answer.
125
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:46,835
Oh, Paul!
126
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:52,719
I love you, Lisa.
127
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,925
I love you, Paul.
128
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,596
I hate to leave you.
129
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,725
Leave?!
You can't leave!
130
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,902
I have to.
We have a curfew.
131
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,071
I mean...
Can't you stay a couple minutes?
132
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,570
I can't.
133
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,111
No, no, don't go now.
134
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:10,195
Well...just a little while
longer.
135
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,760
Aw, no.
136
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,140
Well, that's long enough.
Night-night!
137
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,889
But, Paul!
138
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:35,140
I love you too much to get you
in trouble.
139
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,603
Nice talking.
140
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:38,943
Not bad.
141
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,938
While we're all cooped up
in the cabin,
142
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,940
you're playing games
with the cheerleader!
143
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,113
The wife's always
the last to know!
144
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,612
A cheerleader!
145
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:49,403
Give me a "k"!
Give me an "i"!
146
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,157
Give me an "s"!
Give me an "s"!
147
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,569
I'll tell you what
I'm going to give you --
148
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:55,447
well, together as always,
I see.
149
00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:57,124
Oh!
150
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,293
Just teaching my son how to
throw a knuckleballer.
151
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,633
Ah, wonderful.
152
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,128
Yes.
153
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,000
Should have been here a second
ago to see the curves.
154
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,088
Listen to dad.
He knows.
155
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:12,933
Seeing a family like yours gives
me a feeling right here.
156
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,930
It does me, too --
right here.
157
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,061
Don't ever lose them.
158
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,774
Now, where were we?
159
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,153
Oh, nothing like a hot bath
before bed.
160
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,987
You were in there long enough
to get webbed feet.
161
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,533
[ Laughter ]
162
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,786
Only me, girls --
bed check.
163
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,658
All the beds are here!
164
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,865
[ Laughing ]
165
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,865
[ Laughing ]
166
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,956
Jan, Paula, Stacey...
Where's Allie?
167
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:49,212
Ooh, when she wakes, be sure and
tell her "good night."
168
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,757
Good night.
169
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,757
Good night.
170
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,757
Good night.
171
00:09:54,593 --> 00:09:57,263
She looks like she's out
for the duration.
172
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:58,846
Out is right...
173
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:05,269
...with Mark in the moonlight.
174
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,035
Stella.
175
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:27,423
Elliot, I need to talk
to you.
176
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,171
Is it too late?
177
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:32,213
Of course not.
Come in.
178
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,338
Thank you.
179
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:39,386
I, um, have nothing to offer you
here, except myself.
180
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,222
Care to have any?
181
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,927
No, thank you.
182
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:45,057
I'm still allergic.
183
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,024
Aw, pity.
Well, sit down, please.
184
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,364
Thank you.
185
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,110
I was reluctant to come here
186
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:56,914
because you're probably
the wrong person to ask,
187
00:10:56,989 --> 00:11:00,079
but what I need to know is
how would you --
188
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,409
that is, if you wanted to --
189
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:06,285
spare an artist's feelings if
you didn't like their work?
190
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:10,254
Well, now, where is it written
that one has to?
191
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:15,216
A criticism, to have any meaning
at all, must be totally honest.
192
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:18,299
Truth as the critic sees it --
that's his job.
193
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:21,216
And if the truth hurts
once in a while,
194
00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:25,015
well, then the artist must
just learn to live with it.
195
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,771
I see.
196
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,602
Why did you want to know?
197
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,937
Are you having trouble with
somebody in the show
198
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,533
for tomorrow night?
199
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:36,398
Oh, no, this has to do with
that young playwright,
200
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,777
a friend of captain stubing's.
201
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:42,124
I just read his play,
and it is horrendous.
202
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,491
What?
203
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:46,407
It is banal, inane, trite.
204
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:50,207
The characters are cardboard.
The plot is ludicrous.
205
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:52,292
The dialogue is childlike.
206
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:56,048
It is the worst piece of trash
I have ever read.
207
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,553
What do I say to
captain stubing?
208
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:02,466
Hmm?
209
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,305
Captain stubing.
210
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,310
Uh...
211
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:11,272
Well, as I said,
be totally honest.
212
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:15,475
My instinct was to be...
213
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,608
Compassionate.
214
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:21,155
Well, I guess that's why
we have critics like you --
215
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,990
to protect audiences
from such garbage.
216
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,616
Thanks, Elliot.
217
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,504
Good night.
218
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,751
Mmm.
219
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,212
Good night.
220
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,916
[ Door slams ]
221
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,802
Garbage...inane...stupid...
222
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,558
She told me that.
223
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,140
[ Muttering ]
224
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,202
Gopher: Good morning
and welcome to acapulco.
225
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,203
We hope you enjoy your day.
226
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,865
Now, if Julie doesn't have that
lamp, we're in big trouble.
227
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,915
Let me do the talking, okay?
228
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:15,249
You always do the talking.
I never do -- always you!
229
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,546
You're the only one
who can talk.
230
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,549
I always have to be
as quiet as a clam.
231
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,380
Maybe our marriage
wouldn't be breaking up
232
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,505
if you let me talk
once in a while,
233
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,341
but no -- you --
234
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,341
Norma!
235
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:23,466
See? I told you.
236
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,183
Oh, hi!
237
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:29,234
Hi. Can we bother you
for a second?
238
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:32,438
No bother. Come on in if you
don't mind a little mess.
239
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,060
No problem.
240
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,060
Okay.
241
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,066
Listen,
we're going into acapulco
242
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,728
and thought maybe you could tell
us the best places to shop.
243
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,397
Sure.
What are you looking for?
244
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,736
Uh, c-clothes.
245
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:44,660
Clothes! Right.
Clothes for my wife. Right.
246
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,580
Oh. Well, in that case,
I really like the casa Rosa.
247
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,250
Write that down, sweetheart.
248
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,250
Oh? Okay.
249
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,579
Oh, do you know
what else we need?
250
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,535
Uh, I promised our son
that we'd get him a lamp.
251
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,586
You know, he's been dying
for one shaped like a --
252
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,881
do you know the address
of casa Rosa?
253
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,585
No, but it's right next
to the hotel Miranda.
254
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,466
He's been dying for one
shaped like a --
255
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,104
I hear the hotel Miranda's
really nice!
256
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,601
Yes, it's really nice --
really nice. Yeah.
257
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,314
About the lamp for our son --
he's, uh --
258
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,105
oh, I'm sorry.
How old is he?
259
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,228
7.
260
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,228
14.
261
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,275
I mean, well, he's 7 now,
262
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,739
but he's going to be
14...Someday.
263
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,410
[ Laughs ]
264
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,238
[ Laughing ] Yeah.
265
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,123
He's a great kid, and, uh,
266
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,120
and we promised him
a lamp for his desk,
267
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,963
one with a nautical motif --
268
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:36,288
you know, like with
a captain's wheel on it.
269
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:40,455
Oh, yes! You mean like this!
Oh, darn! I forgot --
270
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,506
I had one just like
you're describing,
271
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,431
but last night
Vicki came around
272
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:47,429
collecting donations
for the orphanage,
273
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,101
and she was taking clothes,
bedding, lamps, anything.
274
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,310
Vicki? Vicki?
275
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,850
Yes, that's the captain's
little girl.
276
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:56,484
Oh. Well, thank you.
You've been a great help.
277
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,312
Sure. Sure.
278
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,312
Let's go, sweetheart.
279
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:00,317
Do you know a nice place
for silver?
280
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:05,454
All right, everybody, this way.
281
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:06,989
Stick together, boys.
282
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:10,122
Be very, very careful,
especially you, pepito, eh?
283
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,290
Especially you.
284
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:12,828
Children, you know --
285
00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:15,961
they are so excited.
They couldn't wait to get here.
286
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,170
Oh, we couldn't wait
to see them.
287
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,790
Where are the others?
288
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:22,497
I think Vicki lured them
to the pool.
289
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,708
Captain...
290
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:25,007
Yes?
291
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,340
...miss Logan...
292
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,675
I don't know
the words to thank you
293
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:31,681
for your kindness
and your generosity,
294
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:34,024
but I think the expressions
on these faces
295
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,929
will give you an idea.
296
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,848
Yeah.
It's our privilege, padre.
297
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:40,476
Believe me,
working for the orphanage
298
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:42,194
has been a labor of love.
299
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,034
Lead on, mon capitaine.
300
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:45,529
Aye, aye.
301
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,901
Aw.
302
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:49,367
Oh, those poor kids!
303
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,028
They're not gonna have
an easy life.
304
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,037
So? Why should they be
different?
305
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,699
You're all heart!
306
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,868
Did you ever think
that having kids
307
00:15:57,956 --> 00:16:00,076
might have saved
our marriage?
308
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,247
Listen, dear Abby, Ann landers,
and Dr. Joyce brothers
309
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,916
on their best day couldn't have
saved our marriage.
310
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,125
Now, come on. Let's knock off
the sentimental stuff
311
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,966
and find Vicki, okay?
312
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,685
Can you help us?
313
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,685
Anytime.
314
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,935
We can't find Mrs. Ames
anywhere.
315
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,777
We've banged on her door
and called her cabin.
316
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,372
She left the ship
about a half-hour ago.
317
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:33,368
Oh. Well, then
she's in acapulco.
318
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:35,080
No, I think
she went to the airport.
319
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,870
She had her suitcase.
320
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,294
Airport? Why?
321
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,082
Well, I don't know why,
but we've got to find her.
322
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,495
Come on!
323
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,935
Hey.
324
00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:07,743
You look like a cheerleader
with nothing to cheer about.
325
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,068
Well put.
326
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,573
Oh?
327
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,284
How would you feel
if you gave a guy away,
328
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,615
then you decided
you wanted him back,
329
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:18,081
and somebody else
already had him?
330
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:18,872
Well...
331
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:21,334
You're talkin'
to the right girl.
332
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,285
It's the story of my life.
333
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,785
Sorry.
334
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,127
Oh, he's a wonderful man.
335
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:30,922
He lives in Alaska,
and he has two kids...
336
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:35,258
And he asked me to marry him,
but I wasn't sure.
337
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,765
I said I needed a little time.
338
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,428
What happened?
339
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,806
I took too much time.
340
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:46,364
While I was thinking,
"do I or don't I?"
341
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,530
Somebody else did.
342
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,492
The good ones don't come around
often enough
343
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,453
that we can afford
to give them away.
344
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,953
I think I'm too late.
345
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,995
Oh, no.
346
00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:03,168
It's only too late
after they say, "I do."
347
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:11,966
Hey, that must be Vicki.
348
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,799
Now, remember,
let me do the talking, okay?
349
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,184
Don't I always?
350
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,550
[ Grumbles ]
351
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,179
Hi. Uh, you Vicki?
352
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,515
Yeah. Hi.
353
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,520
Hi. Uh, Julie told us
354
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,902
you were collecting things
for the orphanage,
355
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:28,109
and, well, if you could tell us
where the bundle is,
356
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,070
we could add
some of our things to it.
357
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,900
That's really nice of you,
but the truck already came
358
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,856
and took everything
to the orphanage.
359
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:39,027
Oh. Oh, well, Julie mentioned
that you got a lamp from her --
360
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:41,747
a ship design
with a captain's wheel.
361
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,209
Oh, yeah.
Ramon loved it!
362
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,668
Ramon?
363
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,828
One of the orphan boys.
He took it for himself.
364
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,587
Uh, I -- w-w-w--
which one's Ramon?
365
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:51,510
Oh, he's not here.
366
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:53,718
Oh.
367
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,719
Oh, here's Ramon now.
368
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,761
It's no good, Vicki.
369
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,556
When I turn it on,
it goes "zzzzt!"
370
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,020
Hey, I can fix that for you,
Ramon.
371
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:07,401
No, no, no. Really, really.
I'm an electrician.
372
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:08,979
Huh? Huh? It's okay.
373
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:12,404
Now, you, uh,
you wait right here, okay?
374
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,574
Hey, Norma, come on.
Let's get going.
375
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:15,863
Norma!
376
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,356
So what's the rush?
377
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,067
Oh!
378
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,374
You know what i'm
in the mood for, dear?
379
00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:26,504
A good game of bridge.
380
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:30,092
Well, that's fine with me if we
can dig up two other players.
381
00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:31,208
Excuse me.
382
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:34,915
I didn't mean to eavesdrop,
but I'd love to play.
383
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,927
Oh, wonderful!
Then all we need is a fourth.
384
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,850
Maybe my boyfriend --
well, if he plays.
385
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:43,019
You see,
we just met on the ship.
386
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,598
Oh, how romantic!
387
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:46,943
Or we can get my new
vice-president
388
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,859
if he'll leave his wife
and family long enough.
389
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:55,490
There he is!
390
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:55,490
There he is!
391
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:56,899
Turner!
392
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,791
Your new boyfriend?
393
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,666
Wife and family?!
394
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,132
Hi, everybody.
395
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:20,085
Turner, you're fired.
396
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,257
Uh...
397
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:24,306
Sir?
398
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:27,729
Turner, we're through!
399
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,193
This mean lunch is off?
400
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,820
[ Chuckling ]
401
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,952
Oh, they're in there.
I can hear 'em.
402
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:43,620
Be careful! Remember,
Ramon says it goes "fffft!"
403
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,950
Well, of course
it goes "fffft!"
404
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:48,866
The diamonds are making it
short-circuit.
405
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,786
Or maybe it's the plug.
406
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:54,963
Aahhhhh!
407
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,915
Plug!! The plug!!
408
00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,166
Aahhh!
409
00:20:59,257 --> 00:21:01,547
Every little thing!
410
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:05,345
You're always yelling at me!
411
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,520
Oh!
412
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:08,520
Oh!
413
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,230
Half a million dollars!
414
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:15,652
Oh!
415
00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:19,442
$250,000 for you,
$250,000 for me,
416
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:23,158
and we can each start
a new life.
417
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,870
And live happily ever after.
418
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,831
Look -- there's a blue one,
and a there's a yellow one...
419
00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:59,903
Mother!
420
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,782
Please, I left the ship to avoid
this scene.
421
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:07,735
Look, I've lost a daughter,
and I've lost a fiancé.
422
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,746
At least leave me my dignity.
423
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:13,078
To think that I was afraid
you wouldn't like bill.
424
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,535
I know men your age prefer young
girls -- I accept that.
425
00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:19,206
That's a fact of life
I understand --
426
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:20,836
what in the hell
are you talking about?
427
00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:23,932
Wendy's a Dallas cowboy
cheerleader.
428
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,929
She's beautiful.
I understand that.
429
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:30,102
You'd be a fool
not to love her.
430
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,312
Well, of course
I love Wendy...
431
00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:34,313
As a daughter.
432
00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:37,444
Since when do you buy daughters
wedding rings?
433
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:38,942
That's right --
somebody saw you.
434
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,284
I didn't buy
any wedding rings --
435
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,780
Wendy did!
436
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:45,452
For you two!
437
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:47,570
It's your wedding present.
438
00:22:53,997 --> 00:22:57,497
I love you, Ellen --
you.
439
00:22:57,584 --> 00:23:00,094
Come, my love.
440
00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:05,300
Grow old with me,
for the best is yet to be.
441
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,644
Oh, bill!
442
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:09,259
Sweet pea.
443
00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:25,994
[ Playing piano ]
444
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,661
♪ Don't put your daughter on
the stage, Mrs. Worthington ♪
445
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:32,491
♪ don't put your daughter
on the stage ♪
446
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:34,867
♪ though they said
at the school of acting ♪
447
00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:37,165
♪ she was lovely as peer gynt ♪
448
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,209
♪ I'm afraid on the whole
an ingénue role ♪
449
00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:41,172
♪ would emphasize her squint ♪
450
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,343
♪ she a big girl ♪
451
00:23:43,421 --> 00:23:45,341
♪ and though her teeth
are fairly good ♪
452
00:23:45,423 --> 00:23:47,383
♪ she's not the type
I ever would ♪
453
00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:49,297
♪ be eager to engage ♪
454
00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:51,506
♪ no more buts,
Mrs. Worthington ♪
455
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,516
♪ nuts, Mrs. Worthington ♪
456
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:56,888
♪ don't put your daughter
on the stage ♪
457
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:02,192
Don't!
458
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,944
[ Laughs ]
459
00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:06,185
Now, Isaac, my friend,
tell me --
460
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,568
in all your
lifelong experience,
461
00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:12,365
how many drinks does it take the
average man to get blottoed?
462
00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:14,040
Oh, four...Or five.
463
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,749
Well, as I've always considered
myself above the average,
464
00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:20,381
you'd better leave
the whole bottle.
465
00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:22,378
Here's to you.
466
00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:24,210
Certainly.
467
00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:28,927
There you are!
468
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:32,719
Do you know that I have been
looking all over for you
469
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,514
the whole day long?
470
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:37,848
Be still, my foolish heart.
I've been right here.
471
00:24:37,934 --> 00:24:40,604
I, uh, regret being so harsh
472
00:24:40,687 --> 00:24:44,357
with that young playwright
last night.
473
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:46,781
Oh, please,
don't apologize to me.
474
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:49,740
You didn't like the play.
That's your prerogative.
475
00:24:49,821 --> 00:24:51,361
It means nothing to me.
476
00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:53,238
Oh?
477
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:57,075
Have you ever thought
of why you didn't like it?
478
00:24:57,162 --> 00:25:02,882
Could it be that you're afraid
to do a play...Now -- any play?
479
00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:04,749
Between you and me,
480
00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:08,916
you have been getting away with
murder for years, Stella.
481
00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:13,047
You know I love you very, very,
very much indeed,
482
00:25:13,136 --> 00:25:16,096
but you are a very limited
performer.
483
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:19,771
I choose to ignore
those remarks.
484
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:21,561
Of course you do.
485
00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:27,105
The ability to avoid reality
is a very special talent.
486
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:30,402
Elliot,
you have been drinking.
487
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:33,617
And now something new
has been added -- insight.
488
00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:36,118
Oh, Elliot.
489
00:25:36,201 --> 00:25:40,411
Why don't you stick to
organizing charities?
490
00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:42,747
You do that very well.
491
00:25:42,832 --> 00:25:45,092
Oh, Elliot,
this is ridiculous!
492
00:25:47,504 --> 00:25:48,804
Oh, captain stubing!
493
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,300
Yes?
494
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,302
Do you remember
the request you made to me
495
00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:54,144
the other day, when I
first came aboard ship?
496
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:56,759
You mean about appearing
in the show tonight?
497
00:25:56,846 --> 00:25:59,096
Yes. Well, I've decided
to take you up on that.
498
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,989
Oh, hi.
499
00:26:11,069 --> 00:26:13,319
Hi. I haven't seen you all day.
Can we talk for a minute?
500
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:15,275
Yeah. Well, a minute.
I don't want to be late.
501
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,365
I'm having an early dinner
with Allie.
502
00:26:17,450 --> 00:26:18,330
Oh.
503
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:20,660
Yeah, well, it's the last night
on the ship.
504
00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:22,865
I'm trying to squeeze in
every minute I can.
505
00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:25,326
I don't blame you.
Allie's a sensational girl.
506
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,037
She is. She's terrific.
I have to thank you for that.
507
00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:29,547
I never would have met her
if it hadn't been for you.
508
00:26:29,629 --> 00:26:30,839
I know.
509
00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:32,672
I mean, I know.
510
00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:35,177
Well, they're all terrific --
missy, jan, Liz, Paula --
511
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:36,800
all of 'em.
512
00:26:36,886 --> 00:26:38,886
I'm sorry.
I'm doing all the talking,
513
00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:41,312
and you wanted to talk to me.
Go ahead.
514
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:43,141
Um...it was really nothing.
515
00:26:43,226 --> 00:26:45,686
I just wanted to make sure you
were having a good time.
516
00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:47,310
Couldn't be better.
517
00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,937
That's really sweet of you
to be so concerned about me.
518
00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,397
See you later.
519
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:01,374
I know how you feel.
520
00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:04,333
I've been around
a lot longer than you,
521
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:06,174
and he fooled me, too.
522
00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:09,879
He best thing you can do
is to forget him...
523
00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,421
And his family.
524
00:27:11,504 --> 00:27:13,214
I'll try.
525
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:18,222
Darling...
526
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,553
Mr. Hartnett...
527
00:27:19,637 --> 00:27:21,807
I mean, darling,
Mr. Hartnett...
528
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:23,520
There's something
I gotta say to you.
529
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,480
Don't listen to him.
530
00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:26,689
We're not interested
in anything he has to say.
531
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:29,270
You're going to listen whether
you're interested or not.
532
00:27:29,356 --> 00:27:32,356
Well, first of all,
I'll admit that I was wrong.
533
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:36,572
And I'm sorry I lied
when I said I was married and I had a family.
534
00:27:36,654 --> 00:27:38,874
Just I knew you wouldn't hire
me in your company.
535
00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:41,868
I mean, I thought that once you
saw my work, it wouldn't matter.
536
00:27:41,951 --> 00:27:45,581
Then when you insisted that I
take my family on this trip,
537
00:27:45,663 --> 00:27:47,713
I did even a dumber thing --
538
00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:50,631
I went through a theatrical
agent and I hired one.
539
00:27:50,710 --> 00:27:53,050
Rent a family?
540
00:27:53,129 --> 00:27:57,009
You mean these people
are actors?
541
00:27:57,092 --> 00:28:01,432
I was afraid
you'd recognize me.
542
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:04,723
You're not really married?
543
00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:07,308
Oh, Lisa, I love you.
544
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:10,774
Well, um, that explains a lot.
545
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:13,775
Oh, you were just fooled by our
great performance, honey.
546
00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:16,818
But our company policy remains
unchanged.
547
00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:18,663
We only hire family men.
548
00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:24,615
Oh, well, uh, I mean,
i will be married...
549
00:28:24,702 --> 00:28:27,292
I hope.
550
00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:34,625
I'm glad someone's makin' out
on this tub.
551
00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:50,517
[ Laughter ]
552
00:28:50,603 --> 00:28:53,863
Brindemos, muchachos.
553
00:28:58,403 --> 00:28:59,953
Hey.
554
00:29:00,029 --> 00:29:01,869
Salud.
555
00:29:00,029 --> 00:29:01,869
Salud.
556
00:29:01,948 --> 00:29:04,328
Salud.
557
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:05,369
I am really --
558
00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:07,162
con permiso, padre.
559
00:29:07,245 --> 00:29:08,995
Por supuesto.
Por supuesto, Ramon.
560
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:13,330
What I am really afraid is one
of the boys is gonna get sick.
561
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:15,838
Muchas gracias
for fixing my lamp.
562
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,340
You're welcome, Ramon.
It was my pleasure.
563
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:19,973
You could say that again.
564
00:29:20,049 --> 00:29:21,299
You got kids?
565
00:29:21,384 --> 00:29:23,014
Uh...no.
566
00:29:23,094 --> 00:29:27,024
Aw, too bad.
You go good with kids.
567
00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:28,388
Adiós.
568
00:29:28,475 --> 00:29:30,015
Adiós.
569
00:29:30,101 --> 00:29:32,351
Why do you think
it'll be pepito?
570
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,517
Pepito -- he's the one who gets
sick most of the time.
571
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:37,187
Muy bien, Ramon.
572
00:29:37,275 --> 00:29:39,685
When I was a kid,
I lived in an orphanage.
573
00:29:39,777 --> 00:29:41,397
Oh, sweetheart --
574
00:29:41,488 --> 00:29:42,948
until I ran off.
575
00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:45,701
You know,
if I had people care for me
576
00:29:45,783 --> 00:29:48,333
the way those people
care for those kids,
577
00:29:48,411 --> 00:29:51,211
well, maybe I'd have
turned out different.
578
00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:52,749
It's never too late.
579
00:29:52,832 --> 00:29:54,002
Yes, it is.
580
00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:56,593
But I owe you this, Norma --
581
00:29:56,669 --> 00:29:58,879
when you were in that cabin
with gopher...
582
00:29:58,963 --> 00:29:59,923
Yeah?
583
00:30:00,006 --> 00:30:01,416
...i was jealous.
584
00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:04,178
Oh, Lou!
Lou, couldn't we --
585
00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:08,010
no, no, no, no.
It's too late, too late.
586
00:30:08,097 --> 00:30:12,097
What good is the money
and all my shopping...
587
00:30:12,185 --> 00:30:15,475
If I can't dress up
for the guy I love?
588
00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:21,239
You know
what our problem is?
589
00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:24,159
We're both too damn selfish.
590
00:30:29,452 --> 00:30:31,252
[ Drumroll ]
591
00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:35,079
Excuse me, muchacha, muchachos,
padre.
592
00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:42,261
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
593
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:43,380
Welcome.
594
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:48,561
I knew this was going to be
an extraordinary night.
595
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:52,428
I also know you didn't come here
to look at me,
596
00:30:52,517 --> 00:30:56,267
so here, let me introduce
the one, the only,
597
00:30:56,354 --> 00:31:01,654
the original Dallas cowboys
cheerleaders!
598
00:31:01,734 --> 00:31:03,954
[ Musical introduction plays ]
599
00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:14,955
Whoo!
600
00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:14,955
Whoo!
601
00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:14,955
Whoo!
602
00:31:15,039 --> 00:31:17,879
[ "Love boat" theme plays ]
603
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:22,864
Hey, did you see that?
Did you?
604
00:32:22,940 --> 00:32:24,320
She winked at me.
605
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,570
Yeah.
606
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:27,532
Who is "she"?
607
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:31,372
Who cares? Tonight's the night,
whoever she is.
608
00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:34,409
I'll tell you who that is --
that's my daughter.
609
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,874
Our daughter.
610
00:32:35,953 --> 00:32:38,373
Oh. How nice for all of you.
611
00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:41,706
[ Music continues ]
612
00:33:53,573 --> 00:33:54,913
[ Music stops ]
613
00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:57,701
[ Cheers and applause ]
614
00:34:01,831 --> 00:34:03,921
Hey, hey, hey!
615
00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:26,614
This evening is even more
than I had hoped for.
616
00:34:26,689 --> 00:34:30,489
Tonight I applaud you,
each and every one of you,
617
00:34:30,568 --> 00:34:32,488
for without your contributions,
618
00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:35,280
the acapulco orphanage
just wouldn't be.
619
00:34:35,364 --> 00:34:36,994
But because of you,
620
00:34:37,074 --> 00:34:40,124
a lot of children will be
smiling for another year.
621
00:34:42,371 --> 00:34:46,131
On behalf of all of them,
muchas gracias.
622
00:34:53,591 --> 00:34:56,681
Captain...
623
00:34:56,761 --> 00:35:02,231
I would like to donate $250,000
to the orphanage.
624
00:35:02,308 --> 00:35:04,138
Oh!
625
00:35:02,308 --> 00:35:04,138
Oh!
626
00:35:02,308 --> 00:35:04,138
Oh!
627
00:35:02,308 --> 00:35:04,138
Oh!
628
00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:07,107
[ Applause ]
629
00:35:12,068 --> 00:35:13,688
Thank you.
630
00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:17,238
Thank you from the bottom
of my heart. Thank you.
631
00:35:17,323 --> 00:35:20,873
Uh, captain, please,
there's been a mistake.
632
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:23,332
My wife
didn't mean to say that.
633
00:35:23,412 --> 00:35:25,332
She meant to say, uh...
634
00:35:25,414 --> 00:35:28,544
She meant to say...
635
00:35:28,626 --> 00:35:30,546
$500,000.
636
00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:31,838
Oh!
637
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,261
Oh!
638
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,261
Oh!
639
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,261
Oh!
640
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,261
Oh!
641
00:35:33,339 --> 00:35:35,259
[ Applause ]
642
00:35:38,135 --> 00:35:39,885
Thank you, sir, thank you.
643
00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:42,391
You and your wife
are the type of people
644
00:35:42,473 --> 00:35:45,103
that make this
a better world to live in.
645
00:35:55,486 --> 00:35:59,906
Truly an extraordinary evening.
How do you top it?
646
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:04,411
Well, if anyone can, here is
the lady who can do it --
647
00:36:04,495 --> 00:36:08,115
I am honored to introduce
our chairperson,
648
00:36:08,207 --> 00:36:12,917
a star who is loved and
respected the world over --
649
00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:16,344
the incomparable
miss Stella Logan!
650
00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:18,264
[ Cheers and applause ]
651
00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:25,934
[ Introduction to "love will
keep us together" plays ]
652
00:36:40,031 --> 00:36:41,951
♪ Love ♪
653
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:45,453
♪ love will keep us together ♪
654
00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:48,786
♪ think of me, babe, whenever ♪
655
00:36:48,873 --> 00:36:52,133
♪ some sweet-talkin' gal
comes along ♪
656
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,130
♪ singin' her song ♪
657
00:36:54,211 --> 00:36:55,961
♪ don't mess around ♪
658
00:36:56,047 --> 00:36:57,757
♪ you gotta be strong ♪
659
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,760
♪ just stop
'cause I really love you ♪
660
00:37:00,843 --> 00:37:02,353
♪ stop ♪
661
00:37:02,428 --> 00:37:04,718
♪ I'll be thinkin' of you ♪
662
00:37:04,805 --> 00:37:07,095
♪ look in my heart
and let love ♪
663
00:37:07,183 --> 00:37:10,943
♪ keep us together ♪
664
00:37:18,694 --> 00:37:20,534
♪ You ♪
665
00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:23,663
♪ you belong to me now ♪
666
00:37:23,741 --> 00:37:27,501
♪ ain't gonna set you free
now ♪
667
00:37:27,578 --> 00:37:30,958
♪ when some gal
starts hangin' around ♪
668
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,000
♪ talkin' me down ♪
669
00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:35,964
♪ hear with your heart
and you won't hear a sound ♪
670
00:37:36,045 --> 00:37:39,625
♪ just stop
'cause I really love you ♪
671
00:37:39,715 --> 00:37:41,215
♪ stop ♪
672
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:43,510
♪ I'll be thinkin' of you ♪
673
00:37:43,594 --> 00:37:46,144
♪ look in my heart
and let love ♪
674
00:37:46,222 --> 00:37:49,432
♪ keep us together ♪
675
00:37:57,441 --> 00:38:00,821
♪ Young and beautiful ♪
676
00:38:00,903 --> 00:38:03,863
♪ but someday
your looks will be gone ♪
677
00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:08,198
♪ when the others
turn you off ♪
678
00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:10,326
♪ who'll be turning you on? ♪
679
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,713
♪ I will, I will, I will ♪
680
00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:14,710
♪ I will ♪
681
00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:18,172
♪ be with you forever ♪
682
00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:21,844
♪ love will keep us together ♪
683
00:38:21,924 --> 00:38:25,184
♪ I said it before
and I'll say it again ♪
684
00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:27,391
♪ I won't pretend ♪
685
00:38:27,471 --> 00:38:30,731
♪ I need you now
and I'll need you then ♪
686
00:38:30,808 --> 00:38:34,058
♪ just stop
'cause I really love you ♪
687
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:35,685
♪ stop ♪
688
00:38:35,771 --> 00:38:37,771
♪ I'll be thinkin' of you ♪
689
00:38:37,857 --> 00:38:40,277
♪ look in my heart
and let love ♪
690
00:38:40,359 --> 00:38:43,779
♪ keep us together ♪
691
00:38:57,668 --> 00:38:59,208
[ Music stops ]
692
00:38:59,295 --> 00:39:01,045
[ Cheers and applause ]
693
00:39:54,183 --> 00:39:57,603
[ Slow music plays ]
694
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,115
Oh, did I step on your toe?
695
00:40:13,202 --> 00:40:14,912
No, I have a headache.
696
00:40:14,995 --> 00:40:17,705
Can I get some aspirin
and bring it to you?
697
00:40:17,790 --> 00:40:20,290
It's not that kind
of headache, doc.
698
00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:21,996
It's a heartache headache.
699
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:24,296
I think I just need
some time alone.
700
00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:27,130
Oh...sure.
701
00:40:27,216 --> 00:40:30,846
This is it --
she's leaving...Alone.
702
00:40:30,928 --> 00:40:32,298
Did she look unhappy?
703
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:34,098
I haven't seen
a face like that
704
00:40:34,181 --> 00:40:36,521
since my absent-minded aunt
put my uncle out
705
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,230
and went to bed
with the cat.
706
00:40:38,310 --> 00:40:39,690
That bad?
707
00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:41,360
You better hurry.
708
00:40:41,438 --> 00:40:43,818
I wouldn't want her
to be alone at the rail.
709
00:40:43,899 --> 00:40:46,029
Thanks for everything, Allie.
710
00:40:46,110 --> 00:40:47,360
Good luck.
711
00:40:46,110 --> 00:40:47,360
Thanks.
712
00:40:47,444 --> 00:40:49,364
Good luck, Mark.
713
00:40:47,444 --> 00:40:49,364
Good luck, Mark.
714
00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:03,504
Hi.
715
00:41:03,586 --> 00:41:05,916
Just the girl
I've been looking for --
716
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:08,165
I need your help,
uh, as a friend.
717
00:41:08,257 --> 00:41:09,217
What's the problem?
718
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:14,510
Well, um, you see,
I'm a little on the shy side.
719
00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:16,847
To tell you the truth,
I'm in love with one of the cheerleaders.
720
00:41:16,932 --> 00:41:18,102
I'm too bashful to tell her.
721
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:19,734
I was wondering
if you had any ideas.
722
00:41:19,810 --> 00:41:21,730
Why ask me?
723
00:41:21,812 --> 00:41:23,692
Because you're a woman.
724
00:41:23,772 --> 00:41:27,032
I'm surprised you've noticed
recently.
725
00:41:27,109 --> 00:41:29,109
You have any suggestions?
726
00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:32,695
Most women like the
straight-ahead approach, Mark.
727
00:41:32,781 --> 00:41:34,241
Be honest.
728
00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:36,695
Just say,
"Allie, I love you."
729
00:41:36,785 --> 00:41:40,075
Allie...
730
00:41:40,164 --> 00:41:41,924
I love you.
731
00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:44,249
Just like that.
732
00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:48,045
That's beautiful.
You'll make her very happy.
733
00:41:48,130 --> 00:41:50,590
Well, there's just
one thing wrong.
734
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:51,844
What?
735
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:55,046
You see, her name's
not Allie.
736
00:41:55,137 --> 00:41:58,717
It's Stacey.
737
00:42:05,022 --> 00:42:06,942
[ Cheers and applause ]
738
00:42:25,459 --> 00:42:27,629
Stella...
739
00:42:27,711 --> 00:42:29,761
Stella, don't go.
Please, please.
740
00:42:29,838 --> 00:42:32,588
There is something that I
would like to tell you.
741
00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:34,885
Well, if they're anything like
the other remarks,
742
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:36,299
I'd rather not hear them.
743
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:38,807
Oh, darling, those were
the ravings of an idiot
744
00:42:38,889 --> 00:42:41,479
who'd had a beaker too many
and not enough character,
745
00:42:41,558 --> 00:42:43,308
but, uh...
746
00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:46,364
I saw the show tonight,
and...
747
00:42:46,438 --> 00:42:50,778
You really are
the best there is.
748
00:42:50,859 --> 00:42:55,529
And, well, I-I guess
it's confession time,
749
00:42:55,614 --> 00:43:01,664
but I am the "young" playwright
whose work you said was, um,
750
00:43:01,745 --> 00:43:04,535
"banal, inane, and," um --
751
00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:05,923
trite?
752
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,170
Trite, thank you.
Thank you, mm-hmm.
753
00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:12,513
And when you tore it apart,
ouch.
754
00:43:12,589 --> 00:43:16,469
It hurt so much
that for the first time,
755
00:43:16,552 --> 00:43:20,472
I realized how much pain
I had been dealing out.
756
00:43:23,267 --> 00:43:26,057
Well, now that you're
confessing,
757
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:28,185
I may as well, too.
758
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:30,192
I knew it was your play.
759
00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:32,614
I've read your reviews
too long
760
00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:36,823
not to recognize
that inimitable style.
761
00:43:36,905 --> 00:43:39,025
And it's a wonderful play.
762
00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:40,946
I said the things I did
763
00:43:41,035 --> 00:43:45,365
because I wanted you to have
a taste of your own medicine,
764
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:48,876
and I've had terrible guilt
feelings ever since.
765
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:50,539
Say that again.
766
00:43:50,627 --> 00:43:52,707
I knew it was your play.
767
00:43:52,796 --> 00:43:55,666
No, no! I want to hear the part
where you said it's wonderful.
768
00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:58,218
Well, it is, and if you let
anybody else play it,
769
00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:00,052
I'll never speak to you
again.
770
00:44:00,137 --> 00:44:02,097
You know what that means,
don't you?
771
00:44:02,181 --> 00:44:03,221
Months of preparation.
772
00:44:03,307 --> 00:44:04,927
Oh, months -- of course.
773
00:44:05,017 --> 00:44:06,597
Constant rehearsals.
774
00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:08,395
Rehearsals -- naturally.
775
00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:12,189
We'll be together day...
And night.
776
00:44:12,274 --> 00:44:14,824
Day and night continuously.
777
00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:18,202
You think
we can stand each other?
778
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:21,280
Well, we haven't had
much practice.
779
00:44:24,536 --> 00:44:27,366
I suggest we start now.
780
00:45:04,576 --> 00:45:06,116
Don't worry, captain.
781
00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:09,163
You'll have our check for
$500,000 as soon as we get home.
782
00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:11,038
I'm not worried,
and thank you again.
783
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,285
Oh, don't thank us.
784
00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:16,957
You did a lot more for us
than we did for you.
785
00:45:17,047 --> 00:45:19,967
You know, you two
are really jewels.
786
00:45:20,050 --> 00:45:21,430
Jewels!
787
00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:22,890
[ Laughing ]
788
00:45:25,264 --> 00:45:27,314
Was that funny?
789
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:28,601
Jewels!
790
00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:30,274
[ Laughs ]
791
00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:35,773
[ Laughs ]
792
00:45:35,858 --> 00:45:37,988
You take good care of her.
793
00:45:38,068 --> 00:45:40,318
Oh, I will.
You know that.
794
00:45:40,404 --> 00:45:42,164
Oh, I hate to go.
I love you.
795
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:43,819
I love you, darling.
796
00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:45,277
And I love you.
797
00:45:45,367 --> 00:45:46,987
Goodbye, sweetheart.
798
00:45:45,367 --> 00:45:46,987
Bye-bye.
799
00:45:47,077 --> 00:45:48,327
You take care.
800
00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:50,002
Okay, bye-bye.
801
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,670
You know, in all my life,
I don't think I have ever
802
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,000
been surrounded
by quite so much beauty.
803
00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:59,335
Wendy, the cheerleaders --
they're all beautiful.
804
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:01,383
I'm talking about you.
805
00:46:01,467 --> 00:46:03,257
Oh, bill!
806
00:46:05,429 --> 00:46:07,179
Well, I expect to see you
in the office
807
00:46:07,264 --> 00:46:08,974
first thing Monday morning.
808
00:46:09,057 --> 00:46:12,187
I'm sorry, sir. We're going to
be in Las Vegas getting married.
809
00:46:12,269 --> 00:46:14,649
Oh, I just love weddings!
They make me cry.
810
00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:17,520
My baby.
811
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:19,488
I can't wait to meet
your real family.
812
00:46:19,568 --> 00:46:21,648
Oh, you'll love them, but
you'll have to wait a while.
813
00:46:21,737 --> 00:46:23,527
They're traveling
with the circus.
814
00:46:26,783 --> 00:46:28,793
Circus?
That's a thought.
815
00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:30,119
Hmm!
816
00:46:34,750 --> 00:46:36,250
...the best.
817
00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:39,045
Those orphan kids
will never forget you.
818
00:46:39,129 --> 00:46:41,919
Now, Stacey, don't you ever let
Mark go again, okay?
819
00:46:42,007 --> 00:46:45,257
Don't worry. The two of us are
going to be very happy together.
820
00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:47,434
The two of you?!
821
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:49,103
[ Laughter ]
822
00:46:49,181 --> 00:46:51,271
Stacey!
823
00:46:54,311 --> 00:46:57,361
Hey, I mean, two's company
and three's a crowd,
824
00:46:57,439 --> 00:46:59,479
but that's ridiculous!
825
00:47:02,486 --> 00:47:04,526
I sure hate to see
you people leave.
826
00:47:04,613 --> 00:47:06,703
Having you onboard
was a great thrill for me.
827
00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:08,282
Oh. It was that and more
for us.
828
00:47:08,367 --> 00:47:10,237
Oh, but you have
to come back
829
00:47:10,327 --> 00:47:12,617
or else I'll never get
another dancing lesson.
830
00:47:12,704 --> 00:47:14,874
Well, I'll try,
but you don't need me.
831
00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:17,127
You've got captain stubing
to teach you.
832
00:47:17,209 --> 00:47:19,419
Besides, he's as graceful
as a gazelle.
833
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:20,923
Oh!
834
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:20,923
Oh!
835
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:20,923
Oh!
836
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:20,923
Oh!
837
00:47:21,004 --> 00:47:22,924
Are you sure
you're all right?
838
00:47:23,006 --> 00:47:25,256
On second thought,
I'll send you a book.
839
00:47:25,342 --> 00:47:26,892
I taught him that.
840
00:47:26,969 --> 00:47:29,639
Excuse me, but I just
heard the good news --
841
00:47:29,721 --> 00:47:31,971
you two are going to be
working together.
842
00:47:32,057 --> 00:47:34,807
Well, it may go down as
the first miracle on water
843
00:47:34,893 --> 00:47:37,233
since the parting
of the red sea.
844
00:47:37,312 --> 00:47:39,942
I know this show's
gonna be a big hit.
845
00:47:40,023 --> 00:47:41,983
Well, we'll give it
our best.
846
00:47:42,067 --> 00:47:44,857
Should we, uh, ask
captain stubing now?
847
00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,525
He is the right type.
848
00:47:46,613 --> 00:47:49,583
He's perfect for the part,
if he's available.
849
00:47:49,658 --> 00:47:51,408
Wait a second --
850
00:47:51,493 --> 00:47:54,583
do you mean that you
want me to --
851
00:47:54,663 --> 00:47:56,963
I say we should make him
an offer.
852
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:58,750
I go along with that.
853
00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:01,464
Well, I'm flattered,
but I don't think so.
854
00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:04,125
I mean, the show could run
for years, and, uh,
855
00:48:04,214 --> 00:48:06,594
well, I've got my job
to think about.
856
00:48:06,675 --> 00:48:08,965
It'll only take
a few minutes.
857
00:48:09,052 --> 00:48:10,972
What kind of a part is that?
858
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:12,814
Best man at our wedding.
859
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:17,439
Congratulations.
860
00:48:17,519 --> 00:48:20,769
She did like your play
after all.
861
00:48:20,856 --> 00:48:22,476
[ Laughter ]
862
00:48:22,526 --> 00:48:27,076
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