Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,850 --> 00:00:08,310
Oh, thank you, Morty.
2
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:10,380
You know, this cookie really
crumbled after Rick left.
3
00:00:10,390 --> 00:00:12,850
Uh, sorry about that.
I-I-I think he was just hungry.
4
00:00:12,850 --> 00:00:13,990
Look, I gotta run.
5
00:00:13,990 --> 00:00:15,190
I-I'm sure you guys'll
figure it out.
6
00:00:15,190 --> 00:00:16,860
I-I believe in you!
7
00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:21,930
Morty! Can you help us
with this UFO-shaped hole?
8
00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:23,600
Sure, geez, but y'know
only because
9
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,800
I was in
the neighborhood.
10
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,000
Morty, thank God!
11
00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:33,470
The beast emerged right
after your grandpa left
12
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:37,410
and its gem went missing --
Geez, that is
a crazy coincidence
13
00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:40,350
that I-I if I were you,
probably just best left alone.
14
00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:42,420
He's right.
We-We should celebrate.
15
00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:43,680
Feast?
No time.
16
00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:45,020
S-S-Sounds
pretty classic though,
17
00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:46,850
don't let me hold you up!
18
00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:52,730
Son of a bitch.
He marked it.
19
00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:11,780
Ah!
20
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,380
Phew.
21
00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:19,520
Hah.
22
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,850
What the --
23
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:25,860
Hey, what the hell?
24
00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:27,260
Agh! Jesus!
25
00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:28,660
You got some of that green stuff
on you too, huh?
26
00:01:28,660 --> 00:01:30,330
Th-Th-This is bad.
Th-This is really bad.
27
00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:32,200
Hey, how do you think
I feel?
28
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,330
I had the ultimate stash hole
and now I got a kid in my thigh.
29
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,300
Look, you seem like a perfectly
nice guy in my hand hole,
30
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,910
but if I can't sort this out
I'm dead --
31
00:02:12,910 --> 00:02:14,570
What the hell, dude?
Gross.
32
00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:16,710
I-I-I was just trying to...
You're just trying to what?
33
00:02:16,710 --> 00:02:18,180
Where'd this stuff
come from?
34
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,180
Garbage Goober, get out here
and eat this garbage.
35
00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:23,580
Mmm, trash, I love trash,
yum yum trash,
36
00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:26,050
I wanna eat trash --
Hell yeah,
I love that lil guy.
37
00:02:26,050 --> 00:02:27,320
Wait a minute.
38
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,060
Is that Mountain Dew in my
quantum transport solution?
39
00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:31,190
I-I saw you were marking
the levels
40
00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:33,390
so I-I had to top it off.
"Top it off?"
41
00:02:33,390 --> 00:02:35,530
Do you know how dangerously
toxic this stuff is?
42
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,330
And you added it
to my portal fluid?!
43
00:02:37,330 --> 00:02:39,060
Only because
you don't trust me!
44
00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:40,470
Oh, that's great logic,
Morty --
45
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:42,540
forgive me for not doing
the kissy chef gesture
46
00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:44,200
since you probably spilled
this everywhere
47
00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:45,740
and I don't want
to teleport my lips.
48
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:47,270
I did I did not spill it!
49
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,940
I won't take your word for that
and I shouldn't have to,
50
00:02:48,940 --> 00:02:50,680
which is why
I have sidekick rules.
51
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,210
If you can't follow them --
52
00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:54,210
I can be replaced, yeah, yeah,
so you keep telling me.
53
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:56,820
Excuse me? Did you just try to
call my bluff?
54
00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:58,220
Have you ever seen me bluff?
55
00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,420
Fine.
You know what, replace me!
56
00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:01,150
Replace me, Rick!
Just do it.
57
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,560
Good luck finding someone
that can be told
58
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,290
80 thousand times
how replaceable they are!
59
00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:06,960
Okay. I'll see your bluff call
and raise you reality.
60
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,090
I can't pretend I haven't been
looking forward to this.
61
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,430
Behold my Wheel of Better
Things Than Morty.
62
00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:13,970
Wh-What are you eight?
I-Is this macaroni art?
63
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:15,170
You expect me to believe
you built this
64
00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:16,640
because you don't care?
65
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,700
No, I built this because
I don't expect shit from you.
66
00:03:18,710 --> 00:03:19,770
Come on, anything!
67
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:21,170
Anything but Morty,
let's go!
68
00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:22,580
Come on baby,
no whammies!
69
00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:24,040
Duh-duh-duh-duh stop!
70
00:03:24,050 --> 00:03:25,440
Okay, that's it.
Two crows.
71
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:27,110
- You're fired!
- You know what? Eat
72
00:03:27,110 --> 00:03:28,310
You're just trying
to make me feel worthless.
73
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,720
I never said
you're worthless.
74
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,650
In fact, I've given you a very
clear metric of your worth:
75
00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:32,920
Two crows.
76
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,650
Note I didn't say three!
77
00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:37,460
Man, that is not
a healthy relationship.
78
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,530
I hope you don't mind me
eavesdropping.
79
00:03:39,530 --> 00:03:40,790
Maybe we can figure out
some sort of
80
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,530
sound-proof bandage solution.
81
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:44,860
Hey did Garbage Goober
eat my porno magazines?
82
00:03:44,870 --> 00:03:46,600
So, were you like,
a friend of Rick's?
83
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,530
Were you?
Good question.
84
00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:50,540
W-What's he doing, i-is
he out there making sure
85
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,610
you see him collecting
two crows?
86
00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:55,010
And now you're thinking, gee,
maybe if he cares enough
87
00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:56,480
to hurt me this bad...
88
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,280
dot dot dot.
89
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,550
Break the cycle, Morty.
90
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:01,880
Change the things
that you can change.
91
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:06,750
That's what I did.
And now I'm free.
92
00:04:06,750 --> 00:04:08,890
Only cramming six years
into six minutes, fellas.
93
00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:13,490
Take your time!
94
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:15,030
Now that's what
I'm talking about!
95
00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:16,960
If ya nail this next one,
I've got bird quaaludes.
96
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,560
And I might even share.
97
00:04:18,570 --> 00:04:20,300
Y-You know you can stop
doing that for my benefit.
98
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,570
Y'know or-or keep doing it.
Doesn't matter. I'm out.
99
00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:24,900
I'm walking away.
Wait. Morty. Don't go.
100
00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:26,840
Not until you see this!
101
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,080
Commence bird on a wire!
102
00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:35,650
Yeeeeaaaahhhhh!
103
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,050
Jerk.
104
00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:39,520
Hey, let's hang out.
105
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,720
We're like brothers now,
we both got away y'know,
106
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:42,860
w-where are you at?
107
00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:44,190
Ooh, you know what,
shoot, can't.
108
00:04:44,190 --> 00:04:46,590
I'm an alien, um, so --
That's okay,
109
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:47,990
Rick turned my bike
into a spaceship
110
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,800
for "solo adventures"
like picking up
111
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,200
his Venusian foot ointment.
112
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,200
God I'm seeing it
so clearly now.
113
00:04:57,810 --> 00:04:59,610
Oh. Wait.
I-It says here you're on Earth.
114
00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:01,670
Yeah. Ah.
Don't come here.
Why not?
115
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,680
Look, I-I get it, my room
is sometimes messy too,
116
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,350
I'll-I'll pick you up
right outside your...
117
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:09,010
...mental asylum.
Busted.
118
00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:10,620
You literally
said "I'm free."
119
00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:13,350
I'm literally not free.
120
00:05:13,350 --> 00:05:15,960
Stop!
That's my blanket!
121
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,420
How do you know Rick?
122
00:05:17,430 --> 00:05:18,820
Look I came to your place
with him one night
123
00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:20,090
after the bar closed.
124
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,760
I started messing around
in your garage
125
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,500
and I spilled that portal stuff
on me and he...
126
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,570
kind of launched me
to Australia...
127
00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:29,030
like with this weirdly
primitive catapult, but --
128
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,240
but the ammunition is
an airtight carbon chamber,
129
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,370
yeah, that-that -- that's how
we lost our cable guy.
130
00:05:33,370 --> 00:05:35,370
Anyways, that kind of
experience shakes you up.
131
00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:39,710
So, sorry I misled you,
have a nice life.
132
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,580
Nick.
You got a visitor.
133
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,260
Damn,
what happened to you?
134
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:52,460
The guards like to beat us
on Sundays.
135
00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:54,730
Still better
than Mondays.
Geez, what happens then?
136
00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:56,930
They lick our faces
when we're tied down.
137
00:05:56,930 --> 00:05:58,460
Plus it's meat loaf day.
Well...
138
00:05:58,470 --> 00:06:00,130
you're leaving now, buddy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
139
00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:01,870
I-I swiped 'em off the guard
on my way in.
140
00:06:01,870 --> 00:06:05,610
I-I mean, sure, yeah, I could
undo my lock, but then what?
141
00:06:05,610 --> 00:06:07,470
After the smartest guy
in the world's done with ya,
142
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,740
it's kinda hard
to find a footing again.
143
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:10,340
That's why I need
to get you out of here.
144
00:06:10,350 --> 00:06:11,950
We're not
the problem, he is.
145
00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:17,080
And if you can have a fresh
start, then maybe I can too.
146
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,280
It's not like
it's a prison break.
147
00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:19,690
We're just leaving, like,
a hospital
148
00:06:19,690 --> 00:06:21,290
that wants to help you
extra bad.
149
00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:24,690
Follow me!
150
00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:27,730
Hey get back here,
you better open this door!
151
00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:32,300
I can fly!
Keep running, Nick.
152
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,500
The more you sweat,
the saltier your cheeks.
153
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,170
Lick this!
Thanks, Morty.
154
00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:40,110
That dude's got a tongue
like a cat.
155
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,440
Stop those Portal Boys!
156
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,440
Did you hear that?
That's gonna stick!
157
00:06:44,450 --> 00:06:46,510
Damn.
Just like Jackie Chan!
158
00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:48,910
Hah! I guess that makes me
Chris Tucker.
159
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,450
I-I guess?
160
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,990
Gonna get you!
161
00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:04,530
Holy [bleep]!
Did you see that?
162
00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:06,000
I mean you blinded a guy
with puke!
163
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,200
Oh, it was insane.
164
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,130
Gimme dap.
Am I doing it right?
165
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,340
D-D-Did
I give you a dap yet?
166
00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:11,740
Look at us.
We got out.
167
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:13,810
And not just from the asylum
but from Rick.
168
00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:16,340
You get to say
what an adventure is now.
169
00:07:16,340 --> 00:07:17,680
You still got that list?
170
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,280
Dude, we can't do that stuff
without Rick's tech.
171
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:24,420
Then it's time the Portal Boys
get themselves a portal gun.
172
00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:25,690
Remember your training,
crows.
173
00:07:25,690 --> 00:07:27,850
The idol should be
around that corner!
174
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,360
Do you guys just follow training
when you feel like it?
175
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,760
That's not being trained,
that's being dicks.
176
00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:42,700
Ah, now I see.
The real treasure is empathy.
177
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:44,840
And that's worth way
more than any knick-knack.
178
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:49,040
You guys just earned yourselves
another adventure!
179
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,440
The adventure is,
you're fired.
180
00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:52,450
Sorry, guys, if I wanted
another bleeding heart,
181
00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:55,520
I'd inject reanimator serum into
an actual bleeding heart.
182
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,380
Relax,
this is an avian planet
183
00:07:57,390 --> 00:07:58,850
with 40 million
species of bird,
184
00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:00,320
even one day of working
under me
185
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,320
will make you apex geniuses
down there.
186
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:03,790
Now hop into these
pneumatic canisters
187
00:08:03,790 --> 00:08:06,660
they used to use at bank
drive-thrus in the '70s.
188
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:17,470
What the...
Hey! Who's tractor beaming me?!
189
00:08:17,470 --> 00:08:19,470
Nobody tractor beams me --
190
00:08:19,470 --> 00:08:23,080
Nobody descrambles my tractor
beam scrambler to boot.
191
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,810
Sorry for
the tractor beaming,
192
00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:30,020
but did you lose
these two crows?
193
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:32,220
Oh, uh, yeah, no
I-I dropped 'em off 'cause
194
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,750
I-I can't hold
a candle to them.
195
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,290
Y'know it s-seemed like
a -- the decent thing to do.
196
00:08:36,290 --> 00:08:38,820
Be your crows.
Train yourself.
197
00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:40,360
Crows are then trained.
198
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,900
I'm open to what
you're describing if it's easier
199
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:44,430
than wiping an unearned smirk
off my grandson's face.
200
00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:46,970
W-What do I do?
Look at your crows.
201
00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:48,370
Be your crows.
202
00:08:48,370 --> 00:08:49,900
God I am so glad
I'm a primate.
203
00:08:49,910 --> 00:08:52,510
Fine.
Looking at my crows.
204
00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:54,840
We train ourselves
to stop training.
205
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,440
The trained are untrained,
we are untrained.
206
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,650
All training is complete.
207
00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:03,050
Because no training
was needed.
208
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,070
My God.
I-I get it, now.
209
00:09:20,070 --> 00:09:23,740
We are gonna shove this crow
shit down Morty's throat!
210
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:25,540
Nick, m-maybe
this isn't a good idea.
211
00:09:25,540 --> 00:09:27,270
L-Like what if
he catches us?
212
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,480
He could trap me in
a Matrix again.
Listen to yourself.
213
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:30,940
We wouldn't even be
in this situation
214
00:09:30,950 --> 00:09:34,210
if the dude hadn't
us both over.
215
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,550
Damn it.
He must be showing the gun off
216
00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:37,620
to his stupid crows --
i-it's not fair!
217
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,690
It's okay, we can still liberate
all this other stuff.
218
00:09:40,690 --> 00:09:42,620
Let's only grab
what we need, though.
219
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:44,490
Oh, no. [Bleep]
That's Rick's can crusher!
220
00:09:44,490 --> 00:09:46,030
H-He spent three weeks
perfecting that.
221
00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:48,960
Morty, buddy, you forget
that we're in this together.
222
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,830
Besides, tell me that didn't
feel the slightest bit good.
223
00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:54,170
I mean yeah, but w-we
can't do that again.
224
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:55,870
Why the hell not?
225
00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:00,710
Whoa!
226
00:10:00,710 --> 00:10:03,110
Haha!
227
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:04,440
Here we go, bitch!
228
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:06,910
Son, have you fallen in
with a weird stranger
229
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:10,050
and are now trashing
your grandpa's place?
230
00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:12,720
'Cause I'll help!
231
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,850
Dad?
Psh, whatever, man.
232
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:16,990
Ah. Yeah!
Yeah!
Now eat my ass, Rick!
233
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:19,590
Suck it, Sanchez!
234
00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:21,060
Morty, is that
what I think it is?
235
00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:22,860
I mean, it's the equivalent
of an iPhone 3
236
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:26,270
And it's empty but it means
the Portal Boys be portal-ing!
237
00:10:26,270 --> 00:10:27,470
Rick incoming.
238
00:10:27,470 --> 00:10:29,000
Oh, crap,
we better skedaddle!
239
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,400
Moooooorty.
240
00:10:30,410 --> 00:10:32,210
But what about my dad,
he-he's like a-a...
241
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:33,670
puddle.
You heard the garage,
242
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,270
Rick'll turn him back
into a solid when he gets here!
243
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,880
Sorry, Dad,
gotta go be heroes.
244
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,880
G-Gonna take your car,
love you!
245
00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:46,790
That's us down there
with the poop brown roof.
246
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,230
What is that?
Oh. Ha. That?
247
00:10:58,230 --> 00:10:59,770
T-That's...nothing.
248
00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:02,640
But I see "Two Crows"
written right here beside...
249
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,370
Gene with donkey brains,
half a Paul Giamatti, and...
250
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:07,710
sentient shit.
251
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,110
I guess the "joke" being
that crows are stupid?
252
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:12,310
I think it's a little more
nuanced than that.
253
00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:13,580
Right,
because you just learned
254
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:15,520
empathy from us
10 minutes ago
255
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,120
but now we're going to learn
we don't get your humor?
256
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,450
[Bleep] horse shit.
257
00:11:19,450 --> 00:11:21,250
Yeah, there's not a ton
to "get," genius,
258
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:24,660
the "joke" is your grandson
was so replaceable
259
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:27,260
that "even"
two crows could do it.
260
00:11:27,260 --> 00:11:29,130
Haha.
It's funny except it's not.
261
00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:31,870
Right, well, to be honest,
that is how I felt at the time.
262
00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:33,470
But I've-I've
rounded a corner.
263
00:11:33,470 --> 00:11:35,000
I seriously have,
you guys.
264
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:40,540
Well, now it's time to
round the corner of death!
265
00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:44,080
Let the crow-volution
begin.
266
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,410
Aah!
267
00:11:45,410 --> 00:11:47,150
Aw, that sound.
What have you done?
268
00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:51,950
Turned crows against dozens
of humans in a 300 meter radius.
269
00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:53,620
Heeeelllllp...
pleaseee...
270
00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:55,490
Oh, now
you beg for help?
271
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,360
-That wasn't me.
-What do you mean?
272
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:58,890
Dooooown here.
273
00:11:58,890 --> 00:12:00,960
Jerry, what the ,
why are you a puddle?
274
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,030
You don't deserve these!
275
00:12:03,030 --> 00:12:04,100
-Haha.
-Genius.
276
00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:06,830
Caaatch you at
a baaad time?
Yeah, Jerry.
277
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:08,670
They took my
goddamn crows!
278
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,040
Not now, Garbage Goober!
Get back in your hole!
279
00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:19,680
Hohoho,
our first adventure!
280
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,080
This definitely the place?
281
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,620
Yeah, Rick's been ripping
these guys off for years,
282
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:25,280
they'll-they'll be really --
283
00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:26,750
uh, grateful.
284
00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:28,420
Y'know, there --
Let's just get that fluid, bud.
285
00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:32,660
The Portal Boys are about
to be in portal business!
286
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:35,700
Here he is.
287
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:37,830
This rat was skimming
your crystal harvest
288
00:12:37,830 --> 00:12:41,170
and sending it to a spaceman
named Rick Sanchez.
289
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:43,370
-Bastard!
-Screw Rick! Kick his dick!
290
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:48,440
Yeah, right?! But me and Nick
here, we-we put a stop to that.
291
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,040
The people of Kuntak
thank you.
292
00:12:51,050 --> 00:12:52,510
He's a bad guy, right?
293
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,110
Y-You're gonna bring him
to justice?
294
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,650
Yeah, of course.
295
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,920
Uh, okay, p-pleasure
doing business!
296
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,320
Not so fast,
Morty.
297
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,460
We're not leaving until we get
what we came for.
298
00:13:02,460 --> 00:13:03,790
Funny,
I'm prepared to.
299
00:13:03,790 --> 00:13:06,330
So hey, look, wh-what we want
is portal fluid.
300
00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:07,860
As our thanks.
301
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:09,330
Portal fluid?
302
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,670
You think I'd live in a lizard
mine if I had portal fluid?
303
00:13:12,670 --> 00:13:16,540
Right, ok, or we could just
kill you for it.
304
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,470
He's kidding.
He's -- t-the Portal Boys
305
00:13:18,470 --> 00:13:20,810
only kill with kindness.
And with guns.
306
00:13:20,810 --> 00:13:24,340
Oh, no. Oh, no.
I-I'm not the one shooting!
307
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,610
-Kill them!
-I'm sorry.
308
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:30,680
Stop! Stop!
They're unarmed!
309
00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:32,350
Ahh!
What the [bleep]?!
310
00:13:32,350 --> 00:13:34,890
Morty! Morty!
311
00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:44,630
Cool place ya got here. Very
Dark Crystal meets Hot Topic.
312
00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:46,370
Now where are my damn crows?
313
00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:50,970
Seriously?
314
00:13:50,970 --> 00:13:53,440
Is there anything
not on theme here?
315
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:06,650
Even now your primate storms our
ship to assert his dominance.
316
00:14:06,650 --> 00:14:09,260
Touch the sacred egg
and ascend.
317
00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:12,460
No longer shall you
take orders from this beast.
318
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,260
But taking orders from you
i-is fine?
319
00:14:14,260 --> 00:14:15,930
Silence, Ape!
320
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:20,130
C'mon, if you think my crows
are gonna leave the great thing
321
00:14:20,140 --> 00:14:22,740
we have for whatever high
fantasy bull [bleep] this is?
322
00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:25,810
You 're wrong.
R-Right, guys?
323
00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:27,740
Th-This is seriously a toss-up.
324
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,680
Uh...someone wanna get that?
325
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:32,950
Oh.
It's me, isn't it?
326
00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:34,210
Woof.
327
00:14:34,220 --> 00:14:35,880
Lemme just make sure
it's not an emergency...
328
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,420
Yello.
Rick, I'm so sorry,
I-I messed up big!
329
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,820
Morty? It's okay, y-ya can't be
worse off than me.
330
00:14:40,820 --> 00:14:42,290
I-I got portal splashed,
robbed you,
331
00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:43,820
jumped into a rebound
with a psycho,
332
00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:45,290
and-and left
a trail of dead!
333
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:46,560
Wow,
somebody's been busy.
334
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:47,760
I-I did it 'cause
you hurt my feelings
335
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,230
w-when you chose
the two crows!
336
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:51,300
Jesus, it was a bit,
I'm getting my ass kicked
337
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,900
by this dumb crow story,
it's all gone tits up.
338
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:57,170
Ha, okay,
I-I miss you, man.
339
00:14:57,170 --> 00:15:00,110
Uh, goddamn it, might've been
a bit too frank there.
340
00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:09,920
Yeah...
gonna have to call ya back.
341
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,120
- Ahh!
- Gah!
342
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,050
Tiny-handed little brat --
343
00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:15,450
You think you can [bleep]
with me and get away with it?!
344
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:25,930
Then you don't know Nick.
345
00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:28,930
Busted.
You don't get it, do you?
346
00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:30,740
As long as we have
these portals,
347
00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:32,340
you can never escape me.
348
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:33,610
What the hell, man.
349
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:35,210
I-I thought we were both
victims of Rick's abuse.
350
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:36,740
Maybe we are,
maybe we're not.
351
00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:38,410
Maybe we both just drink
at the same bar
352
00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:41,150
and maybe one night
I tried to take his portal gun.
353
00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:43,680
See I thought Rick was my ticket
to something special,
354
00:15:43,690 --> 00:15:45,690
but it turns out
you were, Morty.
355
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:48,950
And look at me now --
I'm a Portal Boy.
356
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,560
That name sucks!
I was just trying to yes-and!
357
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,160
You don't get it, Morty.
358
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,430
We're partners.
359
00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:57,760
Now fall in line or I'll make
your life a living hell.
360
00:15:57,770 --> 00:16:00,170
No...thank...you.
361
00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:03,570
Pity, I can't have you connected
to me if you're not on my side.
362
00:16:03,570 --> 00:16:05,240
That means
I gotta kill you.
363
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,710
The thing is,
I already got a partner,
364
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,980
and there's no room
for promotions.
365
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:14,710
What the [bleep]
did you just do?
366
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,880
Cut you out of my life.
367
00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:27,190
Ahhh!
368
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:32,200
[ Beeps ]
369
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,400
See how quickly your allies
abandon you, Rick Sanchez?
370
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,240
Lucky for me, abandonment's my
bread and butter.
371
00:16:42,810 --> 00:16:44,610
Oh [bleep].
You were supposed to die!
372
00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:45,950
I gotta hand it to you...
373
00:16:45,950 --> 00:16:48,810
I was iffy about this one
but crow tech slaps!
374
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,950
Finish him,
you fools!
375
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,560
Go ahead.
Do it.
376
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:57,820
You guys look so rad.
377
00:16:57,830 --> 00:16:59,890
I deserve to go out this way!
378
00:17:05,770 --> 00:17:09,570
Bird...qua...luudes.
Done.
379
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:14,910
Oh, my god, that was awesome.
380
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,780
Y-You could've killed me
back there.
381
00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:19,180
H-How did you guys
ever forgive me?
382
00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,850
Right,
'cause this toxic thing
383
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:22,380
I have with Morty
doesn't define us.
384
00:17:22,380 --> 00:17:27,450
Man, crows are empathetic
as!
385
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:29,220
Definitely saving this one!
386
00:17:31,590 --> 00:17:33,390
Rick and two crows!
387
00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:39,200
Oh, my god, Morty.
388
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,400
Here, here come here
l-let-let grandpa fix you up,
389
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,540
What do you want, a robot hand?
A lizard hand?
390
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,470
I can make it big again
like that one time?
391
00:17:45,470 --> 00:17:46,870
Just my regular hand!
392
00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:49,180
Right, not a time for bits,
I get it.
393
00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,280
There ya go,
good as new.
394
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,820
So we're like,
back-back, right?
395
00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:57,150
Rick and Morty,
together again.
396
00:17:57,150 --> 00:17:59,890
Fu-Full reset?
No.
397
00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:01,490
No, Morty,
I think we're done.
398
00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:03,290
Be-Because I spilled the portal
fluid and didn't tell you?
399
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,890
No, Morty. 'Cause you were too
afraid to tell me.
400
00:18:05,890 --> 00:18:07,630
What we had was abusive.
Don't you see?
401
00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:10,560
I'm a bad partner because I
never made you a true partner.
402
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:12,100
The crows made me see that.
403
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,570
I thought they were a joke
like you,
404
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,370
but it turns out they're more
enlightened than any of us.
405
00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:17,900
O-Okay?
And-And what's the undercut?
406
00:18:17,910 --> 00:18:19,440
You're not hearing me.
407
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,780
I will never be the same so I
need to leave with the crows
408
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:23,580
and see what more
they can teach me.
409
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:26,050
Oh. Oh.
410
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:29,920
Here,
I want you to have this.
411
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,250
Oh, wow I...
412
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:35,520
You know what, Rick?
You really have changed.
413
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,320
Thanks, Morty.
414
00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:40,330
I'll always be your grandpa,
Morty.
415
00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,900
Just kinda obsessed
with crows now.
416
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:58,080
♪ Every day
the sun burns brighter ♪
417
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:02,680
♪ With you by my side ♪
418
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:06,750
♪ And that we go on forever ♪
419
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:12,160
♪ Together you and I ♪
420
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,160
Aww shit!
Rick and two crows!
421
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,490
Kicking off my new franchise!
422
00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,030
The galaxy is
our telephone wire!
423
00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,230
We'll do a thousand seasons,
424
00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:20,830
14 episodes each,
9-9 seconds a pop
425
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,170
because that's
the future of viewing --
426
00:19:22,170 --> 00:19:24,040
shows on your shoes --
Sneaki!
427
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,370
That's when you've got
everybody's attention --
428
00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:26,970
when they're putting crap
on their feet.
429
00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:28,570
That's when they wanna laugh.
Cry.
430
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:31,040
Or feel anything besides
a shoe going on their foot!
431
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:32,710
Watch sitcoms on your sneakers!
432
00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:34,250
The Rick and Two Crows Show,
433
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,380
we're gonna be layin' --
layin' walnuts on the road
434
00:19:36,380 --> 00:19:39,120
for car tires to open em'
you know what I mean?
435
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:43,320
Forever, it's Rick
and two crows, forever!
436
00:19:44,990 --> 00:19:46,860
♪ Oh, we go on ♪
437
00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:49,060
♪ You by my side ♪
438
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:51,200
♪ Forever ♪
439
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,870
♪ You and I ♪
440
00:19:52,870 --> 00:19:55,270
♪ We wreaked hell ♪
441
00:19:55,270 --> 00:19:57,670
♪ Every night ♪
442
00:19:57,670 --> 00:19:59,470
♪ Together ♪
443
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:01,740
♪ You and I ♪
444
00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:03,740
♪ Running on ♪
445
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,610
♪ Borrowed time ♪
446
00:20:05,610 --> 00:20:07,750
♪ Forever ♪
447
00:20:07,750 --> 00:20:09,950
♪ You and I ♪
448
00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:20,760
Where do you think
you're going?
449
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,230
Oh, well, ya know...
450
00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:24,430
the-the red light
usually means there's...
451
00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:25,430
garbage...
452
00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:27,230
Did you seriously
not talk to Rick yet?
453
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,570
I kinda hinted at it.
454
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:30,100
L-Look,
I know it's not the job
455
00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:32,170
I came here for but
it's an honest living.
456
00:20:32,170 --> 00:20:33,310
Goddamn it, Harold.
457
00:20:33,310 --> 00:20:35,440
What do they call you --
Garbage Goober?
458
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,440
You are a doctor
for god sakes!
459
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:39,250
Look, I don't know
how I let this happen
460
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:42,850
but I-I've let it play out
so long that I can't stop now.
461
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:45,450
You're a coward.
462
00:20:45,450 --> 00:20:47,850
You're right.
This ends here and now.
463
00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:50,460
Garbage Goober, we got
freshy trash trash for ya!
464
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:54,860
Extra stinky just the way
you like it!
465
00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:57,060
Mmm, trash,
I love trash...
466
00:20:57,060 --> 00:20:59,570
yum yum trash,
I wanna eat trash.
467
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,100
Did you get any of that?
35008
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
