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Ricky Boze, king of the closers.
2
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,661
- Hey Arliss, how you doing?
- Pretty good, man.
3
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,896
You mind if I talk to my man
Lieberthal down there for a while?
4
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:24,201
Yeah. Would you mind grabbing
a bat and standing in for me?
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00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:30,603
Arliss (narrating): I'm proud to say
that my client base is multi-national,
6
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:33,433
multi-ethnic, and multi-racial.
7
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,700
However, unlike some agents,
8
00:00:35,768 --> 00:00:38,608
I would never
exploit their heritage.
9
00:00:38,671 --> 00:00:43,081
Listen, uh, Mike, you are the only
Jewish ball player in the major leagues.
10
00:00:44,143 --> 00:00:45,613
I want you to think
about this year
11
00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:47,648
sitting out Rosh
Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
12
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,164
- Just not playing the games.
- I'm not a religious ball player.
13
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,463
Yeah, well, we're really not
talking about religion, Mike.
14
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,149
We're talking about marketing.
15
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:56,790
I've got firm offers
from El-Al Airlines,
16
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:59,186
Manischewitz and
Hebrew National Franks
17
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:00,529
for you to be their spokesman.
18
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:02,903
Now, listen, Mike. Look
at it... look at it this way.
19
00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:05,602
I see a unique opportunity here.
20
00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:08,165
You know, how many Jewish
sports heroes are there?
21
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,804
We've got Sandy Koufax,
22
00:01:09,869 --> 00:01:12,609
before that Hank Greenberg,
and before that, David.
23
00:01:12,672 --> 00:01:13,872
That's goin' back a while.
24
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,280
What about Moses Malone?
25
00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:18,946
Any... anyway, I want
you to think about it,
26
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,282
but if nothing else goes,
27
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what do you think about this?
28
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- Huh? Huh?
- Arliss, get outta here.
29
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I got the slogan.
"Mike's a mensch." Huh?
30
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♪ ♪
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Arliss (narrating):
For most of us,
32
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the dream of becoming a champion
33
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,101
remains a fantasy.
34
00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,766
But for a special few,
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it is very much a reality.
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We cheer them.
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We live through them.
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Athletes are our last warriors.
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My job is to make
their dreams come true.
40
00:01:54,847 --> 00:01:57,317
My name is Arliss Michaels.
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00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,723
I represent athletes.
42
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These are my stories.
43
00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:05,528
♪ Don't know what it is
that makes me love you so ♪
44
00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:09,032
♪ I only know I never
wanna let you go ♪
45
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:12,525
♪ 'Cause you started
something, oh, can't you see ♪
46
00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:16,269
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
47
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♪ It happens to be true ♪
48
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♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
49
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:27,146
♪ I just wanna be
beside you everywhere ♪
50
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:30,853
♪ As long as we're
together, honey, I don't care ♪
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00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:34,287
♪ 'Cause you started
something, oh, can't you see ♪
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00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:37,894
♪ That ever since we met
you had a hold on me ♪
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00:02:37,957 --> 00:02:41,527
♪ No matter what you do ♪
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♪ I only wanna be with you ♪
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Arliss (narrating): People ask
what the toughest part of my job is.
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00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,639
Unquestionably,
dealing with the media.
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00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:54,765
They can ride you
to fame or fortune,
58
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,681
or leave you in the
bottom of a hole.
59
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,547
However, I try to
be accommodating.
60
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:01,012
Excuse me, Mr. Michaels?
61
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,280
- Yes?
- Hi, Greg Reem with the Los Angeles Voice.
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00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,419
- Mm-hmm.
- Freelancing.
63
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,424
And you want to
interview one of my clients.
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00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,046
Well, normally, we
don't talk to papers
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00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,261
you get free at laundromats.
66
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,122
Well, wait, no, Mr. Michaels.
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00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:13,090
Actually, I want to
do the feature on you.
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00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,334
Unless it's the LA Voice.
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Walk with me.
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00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:19,097
What was your name? Roam?
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00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,395
Reem.
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00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:22,536
Let me tell ya something about
the world of the sports agent.
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It's not all fun and
games like it looks.
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00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:25,810
Next on the tee...
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perennial all-star
first baseman...
76
00:03:29,575 --> 00:03:31,635
Will Clark!
77
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(applause)
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00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,383
Arliss: Let's go, Thrill!
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(crowd gasps, applauds)
80
00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,291
- Eh...
- Not bad.
81
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:46,226
Not bad? Brings a
tear to a glass eye.
82
00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:48,732
Golf Barker: Next on the tee...
83
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:51,825
all-star record-setting reliever
84
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,068
of the Chicago Cubs...
85
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:55,273
Trevor Heath!
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(applause)
87
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:02,978
Ooh! Not bad!
88
00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:04,237
Not bad?
89
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,680
If I hit that any further,
it'd be driving Miss Daisy.
90
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,047
Hey, Trevor?
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00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,525
Are you still represented
by your lawyer?
92
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:13,090
I fired him. I represent myself.
93
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,562
Figure if I'm gonna give half
my income to the government,
94
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why do I wanna give 10% to
some agent or some lawyer?
95
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,591
Well, I get 5%,
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00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,689
but I can increase
your income by 40.
97
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:22,901
Do the math.
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00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:24,932
Golf Barker: Next on the tee...
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sports agent extraordinaire
100
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Arliss Michaels!
101
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(applause)
102
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(crowd applauds)
103
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Ooh! Nice shot, Arliss.
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00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:39,854
You sandbagger!
105
00:04:39,912 --> 00:04:43,282
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh, that felt good.
106
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,349
It felt good.
107
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:45,487
Next on the tee...
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00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,546
Oh! Excuse me.
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00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,259
Former all-American quarterback,
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and local tavern favorite...
111
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Kirby Carlisle!
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(laughter and applause)
113
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Early night?
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Everything's comped.
115
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(ball whizzing)
116
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- (woman screams)
- Crowd: Ooh!
117
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:04,773
(body thuds)
118
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:08,883
Hey, Will, let me
ask you a question.
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00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:09,951
How'd you do against Trevor
120
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,216
when you were in
the National League?
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00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:12,714
Toughest pitcher
I've ever faced.
122
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:14,359
But at least I was
consistent against him.
123
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:16,820
I was seven times
up. Seven strike outs.
124
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,953
Yeah, but you killed
us in the playoffs in '89.
125
00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:20,688
Batted about .500 against us.
126
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:22,293
- It was .650.
- Ooh!
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00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:25,315
Arliss, who's the toughest
pitcher you've ever faced?
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00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:26,691
Neddy Gepp.
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Pitched Wiffle ball for
the Jaboos of South Street.
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00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:30,635
None of you pussies
would've touched him.
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00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:31,863
I took him deep!
132
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:33,331
(guys laughing)
133
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,567
Golf Barker: Next on the tee...
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00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:40,536
former all-American
running back from USC,
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00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:43,236
former Heisman trophy winner,
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00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:48,079
actor, and Hall-of-Fame running
back from the Buffalo Bills...
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00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:50,147
♪ ♪
138
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Kirby: The art of
eating a jelly donut
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is sucking the jelly out first.
140
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,255
(sucking)
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00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:05,455
Oh. Oral sex!
142
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,871
No, man. You gotta eat the jelly
143
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:10,044
and the dough together
144
00:06:10,102 --> 00:06:11,902
to appreciate the flavor.
145
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,941
You're missing the essence.
146
00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:19,650
Are we all set
with Trevor Heath?
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Yeah, he's expecting
you and Kirby
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up at his ranch in
Oroville tomorrow night.
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00:06:23,115 --> 00:06:27,385
Yes! We are looking at a
possible $20 million client, sister.
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00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:28,963
And he wants his
client agreement set up
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so he can take a look at it
before you guys get up there.
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00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:32,963
I like that. Look, I hate
to interrupt your shopping,
153
00:06:32,992 --> 00:06:34,492
but could you
Fed-Ex the contracts?
154
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Like, now?
155
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:39,831
Like, okay!
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00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,868
(slurping)
157
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,453
Oh, hey! Hey, careful, Nate.
158
00:06:52,511 --> 00:06:53,851
Every pound over
the weight limit
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costs you $1,000.
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00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:58,345
So think, "Bearclaw: $100."
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00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,517
"Eclair: $250."
162
00:07:02,154 --> 00:07:04,964
Okay, I just got off
the phone with Jerry.
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00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:06,194
Here's what he's got to say.
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00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,030
Oh my God.
165
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,772
In order to fit under
the salary cap,
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00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,904
Jerry wants to
restructure your contract.
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00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:19,709
Instead of paying you $2
million over the next two years,
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00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,412
he wants to pay you
$250,000 over the next 12.
169
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,605
He's putting me on lay-away?
170
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:27,377
All because of Deion? Damn!
171
00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:30,146
Sorry to interrupt, but there's
something I have to show you...
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00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,446
in your office.
173
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:33,748
Can it wait?
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00:07:33,819 --> 00:07:35,519
I'm afraid not.
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00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:37,518
Oh, that!
176
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:39,130
Well, why don't you
just read me the parts
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00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:40,288
that tell me how great I am?
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00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,898
Mind if I read it to
you in your office?
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00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,170
Excuse me, Nate. This
will just take a moment.
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00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:52,307
What?
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00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:53,971
"Arliss fondly
recollects his youth
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"in the mean streets of Newark.
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00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,938
"'Ever since I was a
kid in the neighborhood,
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00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:01,280
"'playing ball
against the Jaboos,
185
00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:04,047
I knew one way or other
that my destiny lay in sports.'"
186
00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:06,854
Yeah. So?
187
00:08:07,853 --> 00:08:09,293
Oh! Well, let me continue.
188
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,155
"Ironic musings for a man
189
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"whose Mercedes
and Gulfstream jet
190
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:17,596
were largely paid for by the
sweat and toil of his black clients."
191
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,833
What?!
192
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,067
That's outrageous!
193
00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:25,665
I make money off of the
sweat and toil of all my clients!
194
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,707
I was at the car
wash this morning!
195
00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:32,975
I thought this might make
nice reading to pass the time.
196
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,205
But it made me sick.
197
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,850
Not only me, but my
fellow "Jaboo" brother...
198
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:39,547
who was getting
his BMW detailed.
199
00:08:39,618 --> 00:08:41,218
Wait a minute.
200
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,817
Do you think that
"jaboo" is racist?
201
00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:45,589
Well, I've never
heard it before,
202
00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:48,888
but then again, you guys mint new
words for us every day, don't you?
203
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,831
"Jaboos of South Street" was
the name of the liquor store
204
00:08:51,897 --> 00:08:53,297
that sponsored
the Wiffle ball team
205
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,596
I played against
when I was a kid!
206
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:57,298
Hell, they weren't even black!
207
00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:01,511
Oh, come on!
208
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,714
Look at me. Look at this face.
209
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,584
Is this the face of a racist?
210
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,580
No.
211
00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:10,718
Sexist, maybe.
212
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:12,073
Stanley?
213
00:09:12,069 --> 00:09:13,349
Didn't sound like you.
214
00:09:13,419 --> 00:09:15,789
Because it isn't me!
215
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:18,015
Oh, forget about this rag.
216
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:20,160
Come on. Let's
everybody get back to work.
217
00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:23,604
Okay, so we believe you.
218
00:09:23,662 --> 00:09:26,832
- What about the public?
- The public? Nobody reads this handout!
219
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,429
Reporter: There he is! Go!
220
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:29,771
Move! Move!
221
00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:32,605
Arliss Michaels, any
comment on your racial slurs
222
00:09:32,671 --> 00:09:34,031
- in the LA Voice?
- Call security!
223
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,553
No, no, no. This is
an invasion of privacy.
224
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:37,694
Are you the token minority at
Arliss Michaels Management?
225
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,380
What?! I'm offended by that!
226
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:40,455
- Security. No, no, no!
- Miss!
227
00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:42,549
(enunciating) Are you legal?
228
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:44,125
- Do you have a green card?
- I beg your pardon!
229
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,750
We're trying to help you!
230
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:48,018
- We're here to help... ow.
- Get out! Get out! Get out!
231
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:50,785
When's lunch?
232
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,486
(door opens)
233
00:09:53,959 --> 00:09:55,639
Nate, I'm gonna have
to postpone our meeting.
234
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,131
An emergency just came up.
235
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,556
That's okay. I'm here all week.
236
00:09:58,631 --> 00:09:59,671
We can do this tomorrow.
237
00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:00,772
Fine. Let me walk you out.
238
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,540
Hey, hey! What are
you, on Slim-Fast?
239
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:05,642
What are you down
to now? 320? 310?
240
00:10:05,704 --> 00:10:07,274
Hey, man, I'll
follow you anywhere.
241
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:09,944
Oh, look!
242
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,439
(laughs) Hi, guys.
243
00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,678
Question is, are
today's sports agents
244
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:17,377
really like modern-day
plantation owners?
245
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,350
We're talking, of course, of
the Arliss Michaels incident.
246
00:10:20,419 --> 00:10:22,249
Joining us now, Ice T...
247
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:27,091
Did you folks hear this? President
Clinton is finally sending an emissary
248
00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:28,959
to deal with the church
burnings in the South.
249
00:10:28,994 --> 00:10:30,734
- (applause on TV)
- That's right, yeah.
250
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:34,126
Yeah, unfortunately, he's
sending Arliss Michaels.
251
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,370
(laughter)
252
00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:36,539
(mocking laugh)
253
00:10:37,736 --> 00:10:40,436
What's with this cat
Arliss Michaels, huh?
254
00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:41,586
This guy makes Mark Fuhrman
255
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,210
look like Al Sharpton's
medallion caddie.
256
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,676
It's like the Ebola virus
with no cure in sight.
257
00:10:49,748 --> 00:10:52,518
This is horseshit.
Bernie, you're my lawyer.
258
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,085
Who can I sue?
259
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,923
Aren't you innocent
until proven guilty?
260
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:58,028
No, no, you're confusing
the law with journalism here.
261
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,957
Have we found anyone
who will back up my story?
262
00:11:00,025 --> 00:11:03,395
I found a teammate of yours
who remembers a Jaboo Liquors.
263
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:05,562
Uh, a man named Sammy Gianelli.
264
00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,431
Sammy G! Sammy G! Yes!
265
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,830
Get a statement!
266
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:11,441
Finally! A ray of sunshine!
267
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,074
Eclipsed by a thunder cloud.
268
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:14,809
Riddick Bowe just
called. He wants out.
269
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,614
So do Nick Van Exel
and Rodney Peete.
270
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,635
All of my black clients
are now leaving me,
271
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,551
because of this bogus story!
272
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,723
Uh, your white and
Hispanic clients, too.
273
00:11:22,781 --> 00:11:24,851
Harris Barton,
Pudge Rodriguez...
274
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:27,287
Alright, alright, the crisis
needle's hugging red here.
275
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,293
You're gonna have
to issue an apology.
276
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,715
An apology?!
277
00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:32,189
Yeah. You give 'em one of those
278
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,188
"I'm sorry if I've
offended anyone."
279
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:38,060
There's no way I'm gonna
apologize for something I didn't do!
280
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:40,130
There's not a racist
bone in my body!
281
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,740
Cheese Nip?
282
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,373
Oh, come on!
283
00:11:45,437 --> 00:11:48,107
- Come on!
- I think we're beyond apologies.
284
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,514
We need to make a
public gesture of goodwill.
285
00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:53,206
Set up some sort of foundation.
286
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,599
A college scholarship fund.
287
00:11:54,598 --> 00:11:55,918
A foundation?
288
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:57,121
That's gonna cost me money.
289
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,693
Yes! It costs you money,
so it won't cost you "money."
290
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,255
Get me Charley Steiner.
291
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,189
Foundation.
292
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:09,760
(scoffs)
293
00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:11,898
Arliss! Hey, man, how you doing?
294
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:14,034
Fine! Excellent! Shitty!
295
00:12:14,099 --> 00:12:15,899
Yeah, I can imagine.
What can I do to help?
296
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:17,938
Charley, I want to
go on the air with you
297
00:12:18,003 --> 00:12:19,313
and tell my side of the story.
298
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:22,011
Bump Payne Stewart!
299
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,184
Great, no problem.
300
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:25,682
You can be on the air live
with me in my studio tonight.
301
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:28,184
Tonight? Uh, could
you hold one second?
302
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:30,177
- He wants me to go on tonight.
- Great!
303
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,819
Oh, tonight? We're supposed
to go up to see Trevor!
304
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:35,385
- I'm all packed.
- I know, but this is more important.
305
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,694
Rita, call Trevor. Tell
him we have to postpone.
306
00:12:37,756 --> 00:12:40,086
More important, he may be
the only client we have left!
307
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:42,479
Kirby, what do you want me
to do? I gotta stop the bleeding!
308
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,156
Charley, tonight's great!
309
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:46,531
Arliss, understand this.
310
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,569
I'm gonna be
tough, but I'll be fair.
311
00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,104
I wouldn't expect anything less.
312
00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:51,799
- Arliss?
- One second.
313
00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:54,340
Trevor says he has a
friend at a local TV station.
314
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:55,836
You could do a feed from there.
315
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:58,983
Charley, could we do the hook up
316
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,654
from a TV station in
Northern California?
317
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:01,823
Doesn't sound like a problem.
318
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:05,217
Great! You've got
yourself an exclusive.
319
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,564
- See you tonight!
- We're gonna be able to make this work.
320
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:10,286
Now, I can relax.
321
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,826
♪ Old mountain home ♪
322
00:13:12,891 --> 00:13:14,461
♪ The Lord shines upon you ♪
323
00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:15,726
♪ And your rugged peaks... ♪
324
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,164
Arliss: No reporters.
325
00:13:17,229 --> 00:13:19,269
No cameraman.
Nobody in your face.
326
00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,031
I could see myself
living up here.
327
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,400
Yeah. No ESPN.
328
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,539
500 miles from
your country club.
329
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:26,874
Wild animals everywhere.
330
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,439
You're gonna live here? Right.
331
00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,737
- Arliss, I appreciate you coming up here.
- Oh.
332
00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:32,449
If you're gonna take five
percent of my income,
333
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,518
I want to look you in the
eye when I shake your hand.
334
00:13:34,546 --> 00:13:36,816
Well, then, what do you
say we sign those contracts?
335
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:39,032
- Have ourselves a little celebration?
- What contracts?
336
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:40,851
The contracts. The
client agreements.
337
00:13:40,919 --> 00:13:42,889
I haven't received
any contracts.
338
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,916
Uh, we had them overnighted.
339
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:48,791
Well, that explains it. Out here
overnight mail takes two days.
340
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:50,831
I'm sure they'll arrive
first thing tomorrow.
341
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:53,626
Good, good. Listen, it'll
give us a chance to hunt, fish,
342
00:13:53,699 --> 00:13:56,399
you know, get to know
each other a bit better.
343
00:13:56,468 --> 00:14:00,108
♪ And the coonskin hunters
stalk their prey at night ♪
344
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,142
♪ Shotgun house
with a hard dirt floor ♪
345
00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:04,477
We have never had a
person of your persuasion
346
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:05,653
sit for dinner with us before.
347
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,648
My persuasion?
348
00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,183
An agent.
349
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:10,478
Oh! (laughing)
350
00:14:10,549 --> 00:14:12,789
Trevor just likes
being in control.
351
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,121
Don't ya, hun?
352
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:16,554
The Cubs tried to
make me a starter.
353
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,533
I said uh-uh. I'm a closer.
354
00:14:19,591 --> 00:14:21,531
Last line of defense.
355
00:14:21,593 --> 00:14:23,363
When I'm on a mound,
game on the line,
356
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,759
it's just me and the batter.
357
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:27,470
And that batter is not gonna
take the game away from me.
358
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,703
Nobody takes what's
mine away from me.
359
00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:33,639
And that's what makes
you the best in the business.
360
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,376
- See, I got plans. I got opportun...
- (crow cawing)
361
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:37,037
Shh!
362
00:14:37,109 --> 00:14:38,139
- What?
- (crow continues)
363
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,450
That crow.
364
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:42,723
What about him?
365
00:14:42,781 --> 00:14:44,431
Predatory little bastard's
been swooping down,
366
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:46,050
scaring the hell
out of the kids.
367
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:49,218
Well, maybe he just wants to see
what member of the family we just ate.
368
00:14:52,991 --> 00:14:54,061
Trevor: Hold still.
369
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:55,176
Just one...
370
00:14:55,178 --> 00:14:56,228
(gun cocks)
371
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,230
more...
372
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,536
- Kirby's in there.
- Second.
373
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:07,244
No, no, no! Kirby's in there!
374
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:08,506
(gunshot)
375
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,184
Jesus Christ! What
the fuck is going...?
376
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,742
Missed him. Damn it!
377
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,380
You fucking maniac!
378
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:14,845
(sighs heavily)
379
00:15:16,281 --> 00:15:18,221
Hey! Look at the time!
380
00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:19,693
We gotta get to the TV studio.
381
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:20,892
Uh, here we go.
382
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,763
- Bill: Hey!
- Bill. Bill Paul, Arliss Michaels.
383
00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:25,192
- Nice to meet you!
- You, too.
384
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:26,867
Listen, we've got you
set up right over here.
385
00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:28,602
I hope this chair's
gonna be alright for ya.
386
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:30,427
You've got a live feed
going out to Bristol,
387
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,096
and Derek here'll
set a mike up on you.
388
00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:33,414
And I want you to
know something.
389
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,312
It's a real pleasure to
have you with us here today.
390
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:36,904
- Do I need make-up?
- (laughs) Make-up!
391
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,189
That's funny.
392
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,408
(all laughing)
393
00:15:41,673 --> 00:15:43,113
Stage Manager: Thirty seconds.
394
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:46,449
Kirby, I look alright?
395
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,082
- Good.
- Sure I don't need make-up?
396
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,377
No, no, no. You're perfect.
397
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,818
Maybe a little bit
around the eyes?
398
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:51,923
You're fine.
399
00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:53,494
Stage Manager: Fifteen seconds!
400
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:56,790
(breathing deeply)
401
00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,285
(chokes)
402
00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:00,157
- Arliss!
- On the bell, people.
403
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:01,425
(bell rings)
404
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:03,803
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I
can't have that behind me!
405
00:16:03,862 --> 00:16:06,132
- Why not?
- Well, hey, I'm all for free speech,
406
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,308
But, you know, some people
might misinterpret the message.
407
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:09,443
You know how the media is.
408
00:16:09,501 --> 00:16:10,701
Yeah, fuck the media!
409
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:12,049
They're just a bunch
of New York fags
410
00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:13,240
who celebrate weird holidays.
411
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,045
- Yeah, but consider... consider...
- Listen to me.
412
00:16:15,073 --> 00:16:16,453
Reason I'm gonna
sign with you is 'cause
413
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,785
you didn't back
down from that article.
414
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,210
You didn't apologize!
415
00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:22,179
You're not afraid to
call a spade "a spade."
416
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:23,947
Bill: Ready, people!
417
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:25,316
Five, four...
418
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:27,294
- Kirby?
- Three, two...
419
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,060
Where there are
multi-millionaire athletes,
420
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:34,133
inevitably, there are the
multi-millionaire agents.
421
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,533
Tonight, my guest
is one of them.
422
00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:38,255
We've had the Al
Campanis affair,
423
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:41,130
the Billy Packer
controversy, Jimmy the Greek.
424
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,540
- Now, it's the Arliss Michaels incident.
- Kirby.
425
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:45,442
He's a natural.
426
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:48,844
Charley: Is Arliss Michaels
a good agent doing his job?
427
00:16:48,907 --> 00:16:51,537
Or is he a five percent racist?
428
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:55,480
Well, Arliss, are you a racist?
429
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:56,847
(buzzing)
430
00:16:56,915 --> 00:16:58,895
(static)
431
00:16:58,902 --> 00:17:00,892
Arliss? Arliss?
432
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:04,263
We appear to have
lost Arliss Michaels.
433
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,260
Oh, shit. I was
just getting going.
434
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,409
I could tell.
435
00:17:11,415 --> 00:17:12,495
It was a set-up.
436
00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:14,534
Listen, I've got
to get back to L.A.
437
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,940
- Kirby'll stay and wait for those contracts.
- Me?
438
00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:19,202
- You don't mind, do you, Trevor?
- Sure.
439
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:23,283
Me and Kirby'll do some
hunting in the morning.
440
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,582
Won't we?
441
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:28,676
(reporters clamoring)
442
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:30,317
No comment, no
comment, no comment.
443
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,522
(arguing indistinctly)
444
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:32,648
It's okay! Easy!
445
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,186
Bad night?
446
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:37,274
I'm telling ya, ten more
seconds and this firm was history.
447
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,559
- And you still want to represent this guy?
- Hell, yes!
448
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,925
So what if he's nuts?
I'm a sports agent.
449
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,434
If I eliminated all lunatics,
450
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:44,735
I'd have no client base at all.
451
00:17:44,796 --> 00:17:46,366
I can't believe you left
Kirby up there alone.
452
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,708
Hey, hey, at least
with Kirby there,
453
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,573
I know everything's
gonna stay right on target.
454
00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:51,501
(arrows twanging)
455
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,376
You, uh, use a crossbow much?
456
00:17:56,441 --> 00:17:58,721
Well, you gotta be pretty experienced
to handle one of these things.
457
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,154
You know, you just look
at it wrong and it'll go off.
458
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,379
Knock a moose
right off its feet.
459
00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:06,620
(chuckles)
460
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:08,085
(laughs nervously)
461
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:09,623
- Wanna try?
- No, thanks.
462
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:11,758
I'll stick to the
old-fashioned shotgun.
463
00:18:11,823 --> 00:18:14,693
Trevor! Kirby! The
contracts arrived!
464
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:17,268
Just a second.
I'll be right back.
465
00:18:17,296 --> 00:18:18,296
Okay.
466
00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:26,196
(crow cawing)
467
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,413
Okay, crow.
468
00:18:33,478 --> 00:18:34,808
This is it.
469
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,250
- (gunshot)
- (crow shrieks)
470
00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:37,435
- Got him!
- (wings flapping)
471
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:39,560
- (twang)
- (arrow whizzing)
472
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,785
(Trevor screaming)
473
00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:46,963
So, what's the
upside of signing him?
474
00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:50,255
The upside is five percent
of a $20 million contract.
475
00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:52,759
Yeah, but I really don't
think we should be doing this.
476
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:55,871
Would you rather he give his
money to the United Uzi Way?
477
00:18:55,934 --> 00:18:58,574
Or the Junior
Goosesteppers of America?
478
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,007
(phone rings)
479
00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:03,113
Arliss Michaels' office.
480
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:04,235
Yeah, okay, hold on.
481
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,309
It's Kirby.
482
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,681
Kirby, Kirby! Did he sign?
483
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:10,116
As a matter of fact, he didn't.
484
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,422
Uh, there's something
wrong with his writing hand.
485
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:14,835
What do you mean?
486
00:19:14,838 --> 00:19:16,288
Uh, um, I mean, um...
487
00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:19,385
(groaning in pain)
488
00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:23,256
I mean, I don't think
those free agent offers
489
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:24,428
are gonna be pouring in.
490
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,065
(sets receiver down)
491
00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:32,166
Bad news?
492
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,612
Trevor shot himself
with an arrow.
493
00:19:37,275 --> 00:19:38,425
An arrow?
494
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,578
Oh.
495
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,805
So, what's the bad news?
496
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,882
Why are you punishing me?
497
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,621
I pledged. I gave!
498
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,417
Maybe it's time for an apology.
499
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,829
I will not apologize for
something I didn't do!
500
00:19:55,293 --> 00:19:56,663
No need for an apology.
501
00:19:56,728 --> 00:19:58,528
And the truth shall save him!
502
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:02,001
From your long lost
friend, Sammy Gianelli.
503
00:20:13,011 --> 00:20:15,551
Now, the Jaboos were named after
504
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,254
the Jaboos Liquors
on South Street.
505
00:20:17,315 --> 00:20:21,415
And these guys had this big
old fat guy named Franco Benetti.
506
00:20:21,486 --> 00:20:23,956
And that sonuvabitch could
hit a ball into the Hudson.
507
00:20:24,956 --> 00:20:26,216
It's true.
508
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,931
The Jaboos were the best
Wiffle ball team I ever seen play.
509
00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:32,062
Those were great days.
510
00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:33,900
I miss the old neighborhood.
511
00:20:33,965 --> 00:20:36,365
Course now it's all full of
moolies, spics and slopes.
512
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:38,745
But I don't mind them too much,
at least they have good food.
513
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:39,950
Forget about the other people.
514
00:20:39,971 --> 00:20:41,541
Moronskis, ragheads.
515
00:20:41,606 --> 00:20:43,606
It's another country. I
don't even know it anymore.
516
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:45,906
Now what?
517
00:20:45,977 --> 00:20:48,277
♪ ♪
518
00:20:48,346 --> 00:20:50,846
Today, we're not only here for
519
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,686
the building of
the Arliss Michaels
520
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,122
Colors of the
Rainbow Youth Center,
521
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:58,717
but to continue our
understanding of each other.
522
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,770
Arliss (narrating): There
are some who view the media
523
00:21:00,792 --> 00:21:02,362
as a necessary evil.
524
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,997
A moody creature that
forces people into doing things
525
00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:07,173
they wouldn't ordinarily do.
526
00:21:07,232 --> 00:21:08,532
Not me.
527
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,300
I see them as protectors
of the public trust.
528
00:21:11,369 --> 00:21:14,239
Freedom of the press
is our most precious gift,
529
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,006
and frankly, I, for one,
530
00:21:16,074 --> 00:21:19,514
would not have
have it any other way.
531
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:23,048
(applause)
532
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,375
Thank you, Fred Williamson,
533
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:26,049
and thank all of
you for being here.
534
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,318
With this dedication,
535
00:21:28,386 --> 00:21:31,686
I am happy to finally put
this incident behind us.
536
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:34,127
So that we can
all come together,
537
00:21:34,192 --> 00:21:36,802
and work on common
ground for the greater good.
538
00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:39,262
My name is Arliss Michaels.
539
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:41,101
I represent athletes.
540
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,396
These are my stories.
541
00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,638
And I wish to thank
all of you for coming.
542
00:21:45,704 --> 00:21:47,214
Councilman Lopez,
543
00:21:47,272 --> 00:21:48,642
Rabbi Flender,
544
00:21:48,707 --> 00:21:50,737
the Honorable Abdul Shabazz,
545
00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,439
Deacon Delbert Henry,
546
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:53,651
Ravi,
547
00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:56,152
and the Learned Elders
of the Arapaho Nation.
548
00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:58,384
I'm proud to have
all of you here
549
00:21:58,450 --> 00:21:59,820
as part of the Arliss Michaels'
550
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,045
Colors of the Rainbow
Youth Foundation
551
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,560
and Scholarships Fund.
552
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:06,632
♪ ♪
553
00:22:06,682 --> 00:22:11,232
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