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1
00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:05,437
Earl, I told you to mop the entrance.
2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,873
That floor is dirtier than Bob Saget
3
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:11,143
at a Comedy Central roast.
4
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,614
You know what it sounds like you need,
cranky lady?
5
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:19,051
A Midol and a Dove bar.
6
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,886
You watch it, too, Oleg.
7
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:23,255
Like Earl's hip, you can be replaced.
8
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:30,062
Have you noticed since Max
and Caroline have been away,
9
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:33,132
Han is getting a little
big for his bitches?
10
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:36,168
Did I say bitches?
11
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,204
'Cause I meant to.
12
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,373
I will not be bossed around by someone
13
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,975
40 years younger than me.
14
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:44,943
He is not my second wife.
15
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:52,317
I am calling diner security.
16
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:55,687
What's up, Earl?
17
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,323
I mean, besides your blood pressure.
18
00:00:58,325 --> 00:01:00,092
When are you coming back?
19
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,994
We're coming back tomorrow night.
20
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:03,829
Caroline's about to
sign the movie contract,
21
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:06,899
which means I don't have
to come home UPS Ground.
22
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,536
Are you on the phone with the diner?
23
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,538
I feel like I can smell it.
24
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:14,106
I don't think any of us
25
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,774
are gonna make it past tomorrow.
26
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,410
Han's been walking around
like he owns the place.
27
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:22,047
I do own the place!
28
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:45,737
Boy,
Uber drivers do not like to be tickled.
29
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:49,141
And speaking of things
no one would see coming,
30
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:52,244
I used the F-word with Randy.
31
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,612
Who wouldn't see that coming?
32
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,882
You use the F-word all the time...
33
00:01:56,884 --> 00:02:00,152
usually around children or clergy.
34
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:03,422
No, the F-word as in "future."
35
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:06,225
Max, you made plans for the future?
36
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,327
You won't even make
dinner plans with me.
37
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:11,663
You always say, "Who knows if
we'll still be friends by then?"
38
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:15,667
Well, you always ask me, like,
five hours ahead of time.
39
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,971
Max,
I'm gonna go ahead and use the C-word.
40
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:22,074
I'm calling you and Randy a couple.
41
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,842
I'm gonna say something,
42
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,777
and I don't want it to go to your head.
43
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:28,580
You're right, bitch.
44
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,082
See, Max, it all worked out,
45
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:32,784
right up until what I'm
about to say right now.
46
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,787
We have to take the shuttle
to the airport tomorrow,
47
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:39,158
'cause we're still poor for
another 27 business days.
48
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:43,795
Let's go out in style
and get a party bus.
49
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,264
After all these years, we still have
50
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:47,466
such different concepts of style.
51
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,001
Come on!
52
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:50,102
With a stripper pole
53
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:53,338
and a Crock-Pot of cocktail weenies.
54
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,774
I danced on a party bus for a year,
55
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:59,111
not for money.
56
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:01,346
We are not taking a party bus.
57
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,882
This isn't your super sweet 16.
58
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,217
I didn't have a sweet 16.
59
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:08,820
I was in plumbing school.
60
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,856
Hey, everybody.
61
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,457
I don't know what's going on,
62
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:16,228
but people on the elevator
were looking at me funny.
63
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,296
Sophie!
64
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,697
What?
65
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:21,333
Do I have spinach in my teeth?
66
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,903
Uh, no spinach,
but about 25 needles stuck in your face.
67
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,207
Yeah, they're helping me get pregnant.
68
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:31,310
My healer Audra sent me to Mao,
69
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,512
the acupuncturist to the stars.
70
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:37,316
Yep, he's poked more famous
people than John Mayer.
71
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,588
Sophie, you're not supposed
to leave with those needles,
72
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:46,358
just like we're not supposed
to leave with these vases.
73
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,860
Tell you what,
I'm gonna do what I used to do
74
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,029
for my Aunt Becky at the Elks Lodge.
75
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,098
I'm gonna get some
pricks out of your face.
76
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,937
Max,
do you think Randy invited me to dinner
77
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:02,007
to witness him asking
you to be bicoastal?
78
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,009
'Cause I don't think this
mascara's waterproof,
79
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,245
and I'm definitely gonna cry
80
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:09,748
happy and a few jealous tears.
81
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,917
I'm never been bicoastal.
82
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,619
I was bisexual for a week,
83
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,455
but that's mostly because
I was hitchhiking.
84
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,259
There they are.
85
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,628
Oh,
this is the table where we first met,
86
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,763
and you thought I was a cheap hooker.
87
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:28,533
And you were only half right.
88
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:32,804
Here they come,
more jealous than I expected.
89
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:34,373
Let's celebrate.
90
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,974
It's a big night for both of you.
91
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,743
Caroline, your movie deal closed,
92
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,145
and Max, I found your sock.
93
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:41,780
It was under my refrigerator.
94
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,415
Oh, that makes sense.
95
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,550
I was trying to fish an
M&M out from under there
96
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:48,654
with a fishing hook I made
with a fork and my sock.
97
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,322
I was so excited about getting the M&M
98
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,591
that I abandoned the sock.
99
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,393
Max,
you know you don't have to eat candy
100
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,295
that fell on the floor anymore.
101
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:59,898
I still will,
but it's nice to know I don't have to.
102
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,401
Oh, my God, your whole life is changing.
103
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:05,971
We're just waiting for someone else.
104
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,506
Oh, no, did you invite a guy for me?
105
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,241
I wish I'd known,
106
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:11,576
'cause I only shaved up
to the bottom of my dress.
107
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,480
It's not a date for you.
108
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,282
It's someone here for me and Max.
109
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,351
Wow, I don't usually bring up threesomes
110
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,720
till the one-month mark when
things start to go stale.
111
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:28,126
Oh,
definitely wasn't picturing this guy.
112
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,295
Hello, I'm Elliot Charles.
113
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:34,666
Okay, two first names,
slightly more interesting.
114
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,203
So doing the orgy math here,
there's four of us,
115
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:41,406
and out of the four,
Max and I can't touch naked.
116
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:46,311
Her rule, not mine.
117
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,780
Oh, I'm not here in a sexual capacity.
118
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,549
I'm Randy's therapist.
119
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,317
And I guess we should get started.
120
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,119
I do have a 9:00 in the valley.
121
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:57,489
A 13-year-old girl is coming
out to her vegan parents
122
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,524
as meat-curious.
123
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:05,564
Um, what's happening?
124
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:08,467
Look, Max... Elliot?
125
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:13,505
Look, Max, my patient, Randy,
126
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:16,508
is breaking up with you.
127
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,243
What?
128
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:21,646
Max, I know this sounds abrupt.
129
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,515
Elliot?
130
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,384
Max, in my practice, I developed
131
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,519
the ripping-the-Band-Aid-off technique.
132
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,488
You'll read about it in my book someday,
133
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,856
if I ever finish it,
134
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,825
but that's between me and my therapist.
135
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,494
He's not speaking to me right now
136
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,529
because of a couch spill.
137
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,331
And I'd be mad as hell about it
138
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:42,000
if I didn't completely understand it!
139
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:47,739
And now, again, what's happening?
140
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,409
Because it seems like
you're breaking up with me
141
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:52,277
using a therapist.
142
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:54,613
It does seem that way.
143
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,681
Elliot?
144
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,618
He is breaking up with
you using a therapist.
145
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:04,256
Look, Randy?
146
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:05,624
Caroline.
147
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:13,365
Look, Elliot,
you tell Randy to be a grown-up
148
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:17,269
and break up with her over text.
149
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:20,439
At least send her a "Bye,
Felicia" bitmoji.
150
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,743
- Let's go.
- Max, don't go like this.
151
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,878
Elliot, don't let Max go like this.
152
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,613
Max, you're hurt.
153
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,382
You're feeling abandoned.
154
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:33,418
What would be really
helpful to you right now
155
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:37,489
is my book,
if I can just get one chapter on paper.
156
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:40,826
I think people would
benefit a lot from the book.
157
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,160
Well, we're leaving.
158
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,495
This is shocking,
159
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:44,596
and it's really hard to shock me
160
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,897
since that time I saw a mouse
161
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,500
dry-humping a potato on my couch.
162
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:51,903
You know what?
163
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,306
You can keep my sock.
164
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,408
On second thought, I need it.
165
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:57,676
Max, wait.
166
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,778
I am just gonna go,
because the last time
167
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:03,181
I was this mad, someone lost an eyebrow.
168
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,618
And it took me a long time
169
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,553
to grow it back.
170
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,600
Thank you.
171
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,101
Max, hurry!
172
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,303
We have to leave now to
take Sophie to the healer
173
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,539
and still be at the airport by noon.
174
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:31,109
I brushed your hair when
you were passed out.
175
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,778
I can't move any faster.
176
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,947
I think this escalator's broken.
177
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:41,119
I tried to stop you from
drinking bottle number 32,
178
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:44,189
which was sriracha.
179
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,692
But you tied me to that chair so well.
180
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,028
Well, since drinking that hot sauce,
181
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:53,398
I've been tied to a different chair.
182
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,134
I have something to
make you feel better.
183
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,536
I doubt it.
184
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,538
Unless it's a diaper full of ice.
185
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,576
It's not that. I'll meet you outside.
186
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:12,050
Okay, okay, remember that party bus
187
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:16,054
I never wanted and you
probably don't want now?
188
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,823
- Surprise!
- Good timing.
189
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,659
I'm feeling suicidal,
and I've always wanted
190
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,727
to be buried in something like this.
191
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,932
Aw, come on, Max, cheer up.
192
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:30,368
You're getting two poles
for the price of one.
193
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,037
This is the first time a party bus
194
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:35,040
hasn't fixed every problem I have.
195
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,541
Well, you haven't seen
196
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,511
my "Stars and Stripes Forever" routine.
197
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,297
Um, Bert, is this rum
198
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:02,601
supposed to have a cigarette butt in it?
199
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,603
If you gonna puke,
please aim for the floor.
200
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:06,404
I can hose it down.
201
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,641
Otherwise, I'm finding corn
in the pleather for months.
202
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:13,745
Well, if I throw up today,
it's not 'cause I'm having fun.
203
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,714
I'm just happy because, finally,
204
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:19,084
there's ladies in the bus
not wearing penis helmets.
205
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:22,220
Nope, they were all out of penises,
206
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,555
so I had to settle for balls.
207
00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:25,156
Here, girls.
208
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,392
Nope, I will day drink on a bus,
209
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,295
but I will not put balls on my head.
210
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:34,099
And you wonder why you're single.
211
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:37,135
Ugh,
there's that crazy expensive sushi place
212
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,903
where Randy and I ate.
213
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,972
And there's the taco place
we had to eat at afterwards
214
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,774
'cause we were still hungry.
215
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:46,011
Max, please,
you have to put Randy behind you.
216
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:49,948
And there's the parking spot
where I put Randy behind me.
217
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,750
Bert, did we sign up for the Hollywood
218
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,351
relationship death tour?
219
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:57,522
If so, I'd like to hit
the Affleck-Garner house.
220
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,992
And right up there is where he lives.
221
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,461
We'd make a right at that
super ripped homeless guy,
222
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,431
and in two or three blocks,
we'd be at Randy's house.
223
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:09,434
Oh, no, "we do this," and "we do that."
224
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,602
She's "we"- ing.
225
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:12,804
As long as nobody wees on the seats,
226
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,673
we'll be fine.
227
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:16,708
Bert, turn off there, up that street.
228
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,443
No, wait, what are you doing?
229
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,011
You're getting closure.
230
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,480
I want him to face you
without that lame therapist.
231
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:26,151
Just you and him face-to-testicle.
232
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:29,688
Ladies,
just how stalker-y are we getting here?
233
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,290
Like a drive around the cul-de-sac?
234
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:36,227
Or a full-on Demi Moore outside
of Mila Kunis' yoga class?
235
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:37,529
Ooh, there it is.
236
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:39,030
Up there on the left.
237
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,498
Yep, there it is.
238
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,900
And there he is letting the dog out.
239
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:45,737
Oh, and he's only wearing a towel.
240
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,306
Ah, yeah.
241
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,542
Now I get it, Max.
242
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,243
Bert, go. This was a bad idea.
243
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:53,978
No, this is a great idea.
244
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,847
I am not letting you
take this bad feeling
245
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,215
back to New York.
246
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,317
Bert, open the door. I'm going out.
247
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,924
Bert, close the door. Let's roll.
248
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,698
I, uh, wanted to put some clothes on,
249
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,433
but Caroline wouldn't let me.
250
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,203
Oh, that's the smartest
thing Caroline's done
251
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,438
since I've met her.
252
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,173
Max.
253
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,609
I'm not here.
254
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:27,779
Max,
I can see your balls behind that pillow.
255
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:30,014
I can see your balls behind that...
256
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,083
Sophie! Come on.
257
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,618
This is sad.
258
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,920
Oh, well not from where I'm sitting.
259
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,891
Max, I'm sorry about the
way I handled things.
260
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,693
I just don't know how
to break things off.
261
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:42,894
It's why I was the lawyer
262
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:46,297
on the last three Adam Sandler movies.
263
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,632
Why?
264
00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,467
I just need to know why.
265
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,803
Because I'm too young? I'm too old?
266
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,272
Is there someone else?
You're married? You're gay?
267
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,208
With a body like that,
gay is definitely on the table.
268
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,213
You want the truth?
269
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,215
I like you too much.
270
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:05,717
That's why I didn't break it off sooner.
271
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:07,585
I didn't want it to end.
272
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,621
That's why you're breaking up with me?
273
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:12,724
Because you like me too much?
274
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:15,160
At least have another family in Mexico.
275
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,395
Max, I've done the long-distance thing.
276
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,764
It's just putting off the inevitable.
277
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:22,400
You have a life there.
I have a life here.
278
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,569
It doesn't work.
279
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:27,572
Please don't hate me.
280
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,407
Be easier if I could.
281
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,977
Yep, here they come.
282
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,347
Pardon me?
283
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:40,018
Are we still firing
your housekeeper today?
284
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,620
Oh, nice hat.
285
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,789
Confirms that theory that women in LA
286
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,324
are the ones with balls.
287
00:13:53,466 --> 00:13:54,833
This is it, girls.
288
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:59,437
This is where my healer
does all her magic.
289
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,506
Yeah, you know,
she must sweat a lot doing it,
290
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:05,944
'cause it smells like it looks in here,
right?
291
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,046
What do you think's in those jars?
292
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:12,550
Every fart that's ever
been held in at yoga?
293
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,952
Are you okay, Max?
294
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,286
I guess.
295
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,788
I just wish you told me closure
296
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,289
feels like someone just slammed my nuts
297
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:21,559
in the trunk of a Pontiac.
298
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,962
Sophie,
we have to be at the airport in an hour.
299
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:27,332
Yes, but Audra is my last
chance at getting pregnant.
300
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,367
She'll be ready when she's ready.
301
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,002
I mean, look around.
302
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,737
She's a professional.
303
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,178
Have you seen an orange cat?
304
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,982
A little depressed, Sagittarius?
305
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,918
Wait, Garfield lives here?
306
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,887
Audra, this is Max and Caroline.
307
00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,723
You know, I rarely say this to a lady,
308
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:56,194
but...oh, put a baby in me.
309
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,863
Absolutely.
310
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,265
Hmm?
311
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:03,868
You think...you don't...okay.
312
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,838
Go ahead.
313
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,908
I'm sorry, I'm just conferring
with my spirit guides.
314
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:13,311
Well, if you all talk at once,
I can't understand you.
315
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:19,717
Got it.
316
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,220
They're telling me that someone here
317
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,389
just had their heart broken.
318
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,424
It's you.
319
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,192
Oh, my God, Max.
320
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,895
Come closer to me. Come over here.
321
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,931
Oh, gosh, thanks a lot.
322
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,933
You're bogarting my witch.
323
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:39,070
These spirits don't lie.
324
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,305
Mm-mm.
325
00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:42,240
A little too honest sometimes.
326
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:45,243
I mean,
I didn't ask them if they like my bangs,
327
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,645
but they sure told me.
328
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:51,082
It was a whole thing.
329
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,116
You don't need to help me.
330
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,885
I'll get over the Randy thing.
331
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,219
I've been through worse things,
332
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:56,554
like this right now.
333
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:57,989
No.
334
00:15:57,991 --> 00:16:00,058
They're insisting that I help you.
335
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,293
Grab me a jar.
336
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,629
That's where we store the pain...
337
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,564
and lentils, once you're healed.
338
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,974
Great.
339
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,810
No guy, but now I have a
middle-aged lesbian lover.
340
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,160
All right, it's out.
341
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:45,436
I thought I was gonna have
to move to a bigger jar.
342
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,973
You must've really liked this guy.
343
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:50,541
He was okay.
344
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,977
Well, he's crushed.
345
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,546
He really liked you too.
346
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,281
Never thought a jar
could make me feel better
347
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,717
that wasn't filled with peanut brittle.
348
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:03,955
Oh, please, spirits, put a baby in me!
349
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:08,659
All right, here we go.
350
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,862
Quiet, everybody.
351
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,163
Let me just close the door.
352
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,665
Okay.
353
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,035
Oh, wait.
354
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:21,172
There's still some other unrest here.
355
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:27,245
Oh, no, that's way too big.
356
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,253
It's something else.
357
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:41,993
Oh, really?
358
00:17:41,995 --> 00:17:44,395
Oh, you're telling...
359
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,398
Sure, sure.
360
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,601
Okay. Hold on.
361
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,404
I can't put a baby in you.
362
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,239
Sorry, Sophie.
363
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,508
You can't?
364
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:01,712
You made me put needles in my eyes.
365
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,248
Put me on with them.
366
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,517
Hey, I'm on your side.
367
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,153
Her bangs are ridiculous.
368
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,595
Hey, Earl, we're back.
369
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,232
Hi, girls.
370
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,434
Let me be the first to say welcome back,
371
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,537
and also, my deepest sympathies.
372
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:27,905
How are you, Max?
373
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,107
I just flew in from LA,
374
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,609
and boy, are my arms tired
375
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,278
from hitting the person next to me.
376
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,114
They would not stop fidgeting.
377
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:40,051
I had to pee,
and you wouldn't let me out.
378
00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:42,253
Max, Caroline, you're back!
379
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:45,156
I mean... hello, how are you?
380
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,093
Han, did you miss us?
381
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:54,799
Oh, please, I miss you like
America misses RadioShack.
382
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:58,302
Surprisingly, it left a hole.
383
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:01,005
I saw you leave a hole once...
384
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,373
on Groundhog Day.
385
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:07,011
Max, Caroline, where's Sophie?
386
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:08,112
I missed her so much.
387
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,847
You know what they say:
388
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:14,152
absence makes me have to
masturbate almost constantly.
389
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,821
So what did the healer say?
390
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,123
We'll let her tell you.
391
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:22,360
Hey, everybody!
392
00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:25,163
I'm back from California.
393
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,131
I hope I didn't, like,
394
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:31,035
totally pick up an accent, dude.
395
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:34,005
Oh, I was worried Jeremy Renner
396
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:37,275
would make you the last
thing he'd ever be in.
397
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:43,881
And I was worried you'd say
something exactly like that.
398
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,784
Well, I'll be in my booth.
399
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:50,288
So what did the healer say?
400
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:53,324
How soon can we get a baby in you?
401
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:58,863
Oh, well, the truth is, Oleg,
402
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,065
the healer said that
she wouldn't be able
403
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:03,834
to help me get pregnant.
404
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:07,205
Oh, Sophie. Why not?
405
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:10,308
Well, the reason
406
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,911
that I can't get pregnant is...
407
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,748
I'm already pregnant!
408
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:22,420
Yeah!
409
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:23,921
I'm gonna be a father?
410
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:26,257
Yes, I'm three months along.
411
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:28,226
Yeah, no, that's the last time
412
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:32,396
I'll buy a pregnancy test off a boat.
413
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,432
Well, let's bust out the very cheap,
414
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,400
non-alcoholic champagne.
415
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,236
Non-alcoholic?
416
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,404
Yeah,
Sophie can't drink when she's pregnant.
417
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,706
Oh, all right.
418
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:43,708
Well, then, the five martinis
419
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:46,777
that I had on the plane were my last.
29736
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