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1
00:00:14,197 --> 00:00:16,188
[Keys Jingling]
2
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,668
Sounds like someone's at the door.
3
00:00:24,756 --> 00:00:27,054
Oh, fiddlesticks!
4
00:00:27,029 --> 00:00:32,023
Now look what you've done, Lily.
Oh, Herman. And never mind that.
5
00:00:31,896 --> 00:00:36,230
I was hoping you'd come home.
We have a much more serious problem.
6
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:39,024
Really? Did Grandpa
blow up the dungeon again?
7
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:42,305
No. But Marilyn came home
from school in tears.
8
00:00:42,239 --> 00:00:45,402
She said she'd been asked
not to return to college.
9
00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:47,369
What happened?
I don't know.
10
00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:49,352
She was too upset to talk.
11
00:00:49,346 --> 00:00:52,440
Poor thing's up in her room now
crying her eyes out.
12
00:00:52,388 --> 00:00:55,323
Oh, my. I did that once
when I was younger...
13
00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:57,864
and had a terrible time
getting them back in.
14
00:00:58,824 --> 00:01:03,056
Well, we'll just have to get her down here
and find out what the trouble is.
15
00:01:02,955 --> 00:01:05,116
Do you suppose
it could be her marks?
16
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,192
Well, it could be.
17
00:01:07,181 --> 00:01:11,083
Uh, after all,
she's your sister's child, you know.
18
00:01:10,991 --> 00:01:13,619
She doesn't have
the Munster brains like I do.
19
00:01:14,513 --> 00:01:19,974
Is that so?
And what line were you in when they passed out the brains?
20
00:01:19,828 --> 00:01:22,797
You're forgetting, dear.
I didn't stand in line at all.
21
00:01:22,741 --> 00:01:24,868
They brought everything to me.
22
00:01:24,855 --> 00:01:27,449
I got curb service.
23
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:29,408
Oh, Herman.
24
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,550
Imagine, throwing you out of school.
25
00:02:34,527 --> 00:02:36,495
I'll fix that college.
26
00:02:36,481 --> 00:02:40,918
I'll turn myself into a California student
and upset the whole campus.
27
00:02:40,803 --> 00:02:42,964
Now take it easy, Grandpa.
28
00:02:42,948 --> 00:02:45,178
Uh, there must be some explanation.
29
00:02:45,157 --> 00:02:49,025
[Sighs]
Here's the notice they gave me at school.
30
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,426
I just don't understand it.
31
00:02:53,227 --> 00:02:56,025
"Tuition in arrears
for the last quarter"?
32
00:02:55,980 --> 00:02:59,040
The college told me
I couldn't come back till it was paid.
33
00:02:58,990 --> 00:03:00,958
Oh, I was just so ashamed.
34
00:03:00,943 --> 00:03:03,878
But, Lily, you handle the checkbook.
35
00:03:03,824 --> 00:03:06,190
Uh, didn't...
didn't you ever pay this?
36
00:03:06,162 --> 00:03:09,689
I'm almost sure I did.
I'll look it up.
37
00:03:09,619 --> 00:03:11,610
This is most embarrassing.
38
00:03:11,605 --> 00:03:14,574
No one in our family has ever been
thrown out of school...
39
00:03:14,518 --> 00:03:18,750
since the time they caught Grandpa hanging
from the rafters at Vassar.
40
00:03:18,649 --> 00:03:21,948
I only flew in there
to get out of the rain.
41
00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:23,578
For two weeks?
42
00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:26,708
See now. I paid the gas bill,
43
00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:29,281
the telephone,
our water-hardening service...
44
00:03:29,247 --> 00:03:32,011
But can't you find
a check stub for the tuition?
45
00:03:31,968 --> 00:03:36,132
[Sighs]
I'm sorry, Marilyn. I was so sure that I paid it.
46
00:03:36,035 --> 00:03:39,027
Well, maybe it's just
one of those checks I forgot to enter.
47
00:03:38,981 --> 00:03:42,178
Well, we can't let them
treat our niece this way.
48
00:03:42,119 --> 00:03:45,611
That's right.
I'll go down there and handle it.
49
00:03:45,545 --> 00:03:49,072
- I'll throw a scare into them.
- Uh, no, no, Grandpa.
50
00:03:49,002 --> 00:03:51,300
I'll take care of this.
51
00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:54,540
I'll go down to that school tomorrow
and straighten the whole thing out.
52
00:03:54,478 --> 00:03:56,969
Oh, thank you, Uncle Herman.
53
00:03:56,943 --> 00:04:00,379
But... But will you be able
to take time off from the parlor tomorrow?
54
00:04:00,305 --> 00:04:03,741
I think I can duck out around 4:00
and the boss will never miss me.
55
00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:07,831
Anyway, he's gonna be busy
all afternoon interviewing new box boys.
56
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:18,985
What'd you say
this kid's name was again, Coach? Mallory. Moose Mallory.
57
00:04:18,908 --> 00:04:22,605
He's been playin' high school
basketball somewhere in Kentucky for the past six years.
58
00:04:22,526 --> 00:04:24,994
It took him six years
to get through high school?
59
00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:28,156
Jerry, our scouts' reports show
that this guy's got everything...
60
00:04:28,097 --> 00:04:31,533
footwork like a gazelle,
hands like a gorilla, and he's tall as a giraffe.
61
00:04:31,459 --> 00:04:33,620
Who's sponsoring him?
The S.P.C.A.?
62
00:04:33,604 --> 00:04:36,903
Okay, so he's a big dumb ape
from the hills.
63
00:04:36,838 --> 00:04:38,863
But Dean Haggerty
doesn't know that yet.
64
00:04:38,855 --> 00:04:41,016
We're gonna enroll the Moose
on a scholarship,
65
00:04:41,001 --> 00:04:44,937
and by the time he flunks out,
our team will get national recognition,
66
00:04:44,843 --> 00:04:48,802
and yours truly
will have left Westbury for bigger and better things.
67
00:04:48,717 --> 00:04:52,448
That Mallory was
supposed to be here at 3:30. Do you suppose the bus was late?
68
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:54,358
I don't know.
69
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,443
His first time in the city.
Maybe we should have met him.
70
00:04:58,387 --> 00:05:01,686
That big goon could be
wandering around like some kind of a zombie.
71
00:05:04,566 --> 00:05:08,502
I guess you need a college education
to figure out the signs.
72
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:12,641
Oh, uh...
Uh, uh, pardon me, sir. Could you tell me how to get to...
73
00:05:14,492 --> 00:05:17,120
Oh. Uh, sorry.
74
00:05:17,085 --> 00:05:19,610
L... I thought you were alive.
75
00:05:25,122 --> 00:05:28,455
Uh, you look just like
my wife's brother standing there.
76
00:05:36,361 --> 00:05:39,194
Coach, maybe we oughta
call the bus station. It's almost 4:30.
77
00:05:39,146 --> 00:05:41,637
We'll give this Moose another
10 minutes. Maybe he can...
78
00:05:41,612 --> 00:05:43,910
[Knocking On Door]
[Door Opens]
79
00:05:44,877 --> 00:05:49,337
Oh, uh, uh, pardon me, gentlemen.
Uh, could you help me?
80
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:55,122
Do you suppose this is...
Has to be.
81
00:05:55,091 --> 00:05:57,958
Couldn't be two like that.
82
00:05:57,909 --> 00:06:00,343
Come on in. This is the place
you're looking for.
83
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,540
Oh. Thank you.
84
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:07,521
I'm looking for the dean's office.
85
00:06:07,515 --> 00:06:10,279
Uh, there's a matter of tuition
I'd like to straighten out.
86
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:14,468
Don't worry. You'll get to see
the dean, and we'll straighten out that little matter of tuition.
87
00:06:14,367 --> 00:06:17,234
Fine.
Uh, first I'd like to ask a few questions.
88
00:06:17,184 --> 00:06:20,449
Have a chair.
Uh, all right.
89
00:06:21,826 --> 00:06:24,488
Uh, could we get rid of this?
90
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,093
Now, how tall are you?
91
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,972
I'm, uh, 7 foot 3.
In your stocking feet?
92
00:06:39,885 --> 00:06:42,445
No. In my stocking feet
I'm 7 foot 4.
93
00:06:42,415 --> 00:06:44,406
I wear very thick socks.
94
00:06:45,969 --> 00:06:48,369
Well, you're gonna take
a pretty big sweat suit,
95
00:06:48,338 --> 00:06:51,102
but I think we've got one around
you can squeeze into.
96
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:55,326
- Sweat suit?
- Yeah. No use you seeing the dean till we run you through a little tryout.
97
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,961
- How are you at passing?
- Oh, pretty good.
98
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:03,492
I passed two trucks
and a station wagon on the way over here.
99
00:07:04,411 --> 00:07:07,608
Jerry, show him
where the locker room is.
100
00:07:07,549 --> 00:07:10,177
Right, Coach.
101
00:07:10,143 --> 00:07:12,134
Come on, Moose.
102
00:07:12,128 --> 00:07:14,119
Moose?
103
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:19,242
You college kids and your nicknames.
104
00:07:28,425 --> 00:07:32,122
[Man On P.A.]
Bus from Nashville and points south now unloading.
105
00:07:33,484 --> 00:07:35,850
Well, uh, what do you think, Pa?
106
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:38,484
Purty fancy bus depot, Moose.
107
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:42,834
Look, they sell them paperback novels
right out in the open.
108
00:07:45,651 --> 00:07:49,747
I don't see none of them hotshot
college fellers here to meet ya.
109
00:07:49,653 --> 00:07:54,955
Well, uh, the bus was two hours late
on account of hittin' that mule.
110
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:59,745
Maybe them hotshot college fellers
got tired of waitin' on us. They musta.
111
00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:03,206
Reckon we-uns
will have to track down the college ourself.
112
00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:05,830
Well, we best get walkin'.
113
00:08:05,791 --> 00:08:07,782
Walkin'?
114
00:08:08,673 --> 00:08:12,905
Look, just as soon
as you start basketballing it for that Westbury College,
115
00:08:12,803 --> 00:08:15,601
you ain't gonna have to do
no more walkin'...
116
00:08:15,557 --> 00:08:18,253
have your own "cornvertible."
117
00:08:18,214 --> 00:08:20,239
You done lost me, Pa.
118
00:08:20,231 --> 00:08:24,497
How can a little old
college basketball player afford a "cornvertible"?
119
00:08:24,394 --> 00:08:28,091
Son, if you keep actin'
as dumb as you look,
120
00:08:28,011 --> 00:08:30,571
us Mallorys are in real trouble.
121
00:08:30,541 --> 00:08:32,634
You just play with
that little old ball...
122
00:08:32,622 --> 00:08:34,954
and leave the thinkin' to me.
123
00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:38,762
Sorry, Pa.
Well, we best get walkin'.
124
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,658
Give me your hand.
125
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:50,220
I just don't understand, gentlemen,
why I can't see the dean now.
126
00:08:50,104 --> 00:08:52,664
Because one of the rules here says...
127
00:08:52,634 --> 00:08:57,867
that before we see the dean,
we have to play a little basketball.
128
00:08:57,725 --> 00:09:01,058
Now, we don't mind doing that
for Coachie, do we?
129
00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:02,959
Well, I guess not.
130
00:09:03,841 --> 00:09:07,299
But I'll just bet you they don't have
rules like this at Princeton.
131
00:09:07,235 --> 00:09:10,033
Come on, Moosie.
Let's see you sink a couple of baskets, huh?
132
00:09:09,988 --> 00:09:13,219
- Uh, uh, that...
that basket down there? - That's right.
133
00:09:14,182 --> 00:09:18,516
Sure. If... If... If it'll get me
to see the dean. [Chuckles]
134
00:09:18,409 --> 00:09:21,708
But why don't you
give yourself a break and go near the foul line...
135
00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:24,373
Wow!
Sensational!
136
00:09:24,332 --> 00:09:28,166
Yeah, that's great.
Let's see you do a few layups. You're fantastic.
137
00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:30,569
You really think so?
[Laughs]
138
00:09:30,544 --> 00:09:33,707
Just watch this.
[Laughing]
139
00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:03,241
[Coach]
He's great.!
140
00:10:05,892 --> 00:10:09,794
Look at that.!
Holy mackerel.!
141
00:10:22,415 --> 00:10:24,610
Wow.!
142
00:10:24,592 --> 00:10:26,560
[Chuckles]
143
00:10:32,628 --> 00:10:34,596
[Laughing]
144
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,618
Now can I see the dean?
145
00:10:41,593 --> 00:10:44,619
Son, after that demonstration,
you don't need to see the dean.
146
00:10:44,571 --> 00:10:46,937
Uh, but there's a matter of tuition.
147
00:10:46,908 --> 00:10:49,308
My boy, you just sign this paper,
148
00:10:49,277 --> 00:10:52,838
and believe me,
you'll never have to worry about tuition again.
149
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,860
Really? Oh.
150
00:10:57,539 --> 00:10:59,666
Well, thank you very much.
151
00:10:59,652 --> 00:11:02,815
Uh, uh, can I go and change
my clothes and leave now?
152
00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:05,318
Sure, go ahead.
Yeah. We'll be seeing you, Moose.
153
00:11:05,287 --> 00:11:07,278
Oh. Thank you.
154
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,821
Jerry, my boy, we're
gonna have the greatest
155
00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:35,721
basketball season in the
history of Westbury.
156
00:11:35,685 --> 00:11:38,848
Yeah, Coach. This Moose Mallory
is just about the... [Knock On Door]
157
00:11:39,688 --> 00:11:43,522
Excuse us. Do you reckon
we're in the right place?
158
00:11:43,434 --> 00:11:46,733
No, fellas.
The course in television acting is just down the hall.
159
00:11:46,668 --> 00:11:49,102
We don't know nothin'
about no playactin'.
160
00:11:49,069 --> 00:11:53,369
This here's Moose Mallory,
the basketball star, and I'm his pa.
161
00:11:53,263 --> 00:11:57,563
He can't be Moose Mallory.
Moose Mallory was just in here, and the coach signed him up.
162
00:11:57,458 --> 00:11:59,449
Sure. We just...
163
00:12:01,781 --> 00:12:03,715
Jerry.
164
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,532
Look.
165
00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:08,453
"Herman Munster."
166
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,568
You mean that...
that wasn't Moose Mallory that we signed up before?
167
00:12:11,514 --> 00:12:15,177
Must have been some other athlete
that stumbled in here by mistake.
168
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,796
Well, then this guy must be
the real Moose Mallory.
169
00:12:17,758 --> 00:12:20,955
What are we gonna do?
Look, let's not argue with fate.
170
00:12:20,896 --> 00:12:23,091
Whoever this Munster is
that fell in our laps,
171
00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:25,906
he's gonna make
any other basketball player look like a creep.
172
00:12:25,858 --> 00:12:28,224
But how are you gonna
get rid of these hillbillies?
173
00:12:28,196 --> 00:12:31,256
They came here
all the way from Kentucky. Easy.
174
00:12:31,206 --> 00:12:34,437
I'll just politely and graciously
explain the matter to them...
175
00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:37,173
in the fine sporting tradition
of college athletics.
176
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:40,025
Moose.
Yes, sir?
177
00:12:40,011 --> 00:12:42,411
The, uh, job is filled.
Huh?
178
00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:45,975
Get lost, ya bum.
[Father Protesting]
179
00:12:55,251 --> 00:13:00,120
That's right, Marilyn.
Tomorrow morning, you can go to college without a worry in the world.
180
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:02,891
They assured me
your tuition is all taken care of.
181
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,831
Oh, thank you, Uncle Herman.
182
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:07,020
Did you have any trouble
down there, dear?
183
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,528
No. Uh, not a bit.
184
00:13:09,499 --> 00:13:13,026
They have a rather strange rule
before they'll give you an interview,
185
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:16,416
but after a brief workout in the gym,
they were most cooperative.
186
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,248
A workout in the gym?
187
00:13:19,234 --> 00:13:23,193
Yes. Uh, you see, when I walked in,
there were these two men... [Eddie] Hey, Pop.! Pop.!
188
00:13:23,107 --> 00:13:26,201
The evening paper just came,
and it's got your name in it.
189
00:13:26,149 --> 00:13:28,913
My name?
Yeah. Right here on the sports page.
190
00:13:28,871 --> 00:13:30,805
On the sports page?
191
00:13:30,792 --> 00:13:34,956
"Coach Roger Denman
this afternoon predicted a winning season on the courts...
192
00:13:34,859 --> 00:13:39,319
with the enrollment of
a local athlete, Herman Munster, at Westbury College."
193
00:13:39,213 --> 00:13:42,148
Local athlete?
You, Herman?
194
00:13:42,095 --> 00:13:44,495
You enrolled at college.
195
00:13:44,464 --> 00:13:46,728
Boy, Pop! Wait till I tell the guys!
196
00:13:46,705 --> 00:13:50,197
Now why would he do a thing like that?
You went down there... [All Chattering]
197
00:13:50,132 --> 00:13:52,828
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
198
00:13:52,789 --> 00:13:55,451
The... The, uh...
There must be a mistake.
199
00:13:55,414 --> 00:13:59,783
A-All I did was put on a sweat suit
like they asked me and shot a few baskets.
200
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:01,664
They said that was one of the rules.
201
00:14:01,658 --> 00:14:05,458
Then when I signed that paper,
they said the tuition was all taken care of.
202
00:14:07,741 --> 00:14:10,539
They meant your tuition,
not Marilyn's.
203
00:14:11,648 --> 00:14:17,348
Ooh, Herman, you signed a contract
to play basketball on a scholarship.
204
00:14:17,186 --> 00:14:19,120
Oh, boy!
205
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:23,135
Sometimes I think
you just don't have enough sense to come in out of the rain.
206
00:14:23,046 --> 00:14:25,480
Oh, yes, I do.
207
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,916
I've... I've done it lots of times.
208
00:14:27,881 --> 00:14:30,111
Herman, you're so gullible.
209
00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:33,321
Why, this is even worse
than the time you went to that television show...
210
00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:36,058
and almost wound up
as Queen for a Day.
211
00:14:37,166 --> 00:14:41,227
Now they still won't let me
back in school tomorrow.
212
00:14:41,137 --> 00:14:43,196
Oh.
213
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:45,814
You've goofed it again, Herman.
214
00:14:46,868 --> 00:14:50,634
Well, don't just sit there
with that vacant look on your face.
215
00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:53,849
Aren't you the least bit worried
about the... the mess you've gotten into?
216
00:14:53,784 --> 00:14:55,809
You're... You're darn right I'm worried.
217
00:14:55,802 --> 00:14:59,829
I'm trying to figure out
a way to get in shape before the basketball season starts.
218
00:15:02,525 --> 00:15:04,516
"Herman Munster."
219
00:15:04,510 --> 00:15:09,846
Moose, that must be the fella
that rinky-dinked you out of your basketball scholarship.
220
00:15:10,594 --> 00:15:12,585
Yeah.
221
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:17,380
As soon as we hit the bus depot
I shoulda knowed this town is full of fancy dudes.
222
00:15:17,253 --> 00:15:21,485
How come?
When I tried that 10-cent machine in the washroom,
223
00:15:21,384 --> 00:15:25,821
instead of giving me a pocket comb,
it squirted "prefume" all over me.
224
00:15:25,706 --> 00:15:27,640
I don't notice it none.
225
00:15:28,524 --> 00:15:31,459
Well, maybe I didn't
get enough on me to take.
226
00:15:31,405 --> 00:15:35,569
Moose, is that Munster slicker's
address in the paper?
227
00:15:35,472 --> 00:15:39,033
Uh, "1313 Mockingbird Lane."
228
00:15:38,962 --> 00:15:40,896
Come on. Let's go.
229
00:15:40,883 --> 00:15:43,351
Me and you are gonna find that Yankee,
230
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:46,809
and we're gonna rearrange his bones
Kentucky-style.
231
00:15:46,743 --> 00:15:48,734
Hot dog!
232
00:15:48,728 --> 00:15:51,925
His face'll look like
Annie Lou Humphrey...
233
00:15:51,866 --> 00:15:54,528
when she fell in the feedin' trough...
234
00:15:54,491 --> 00:15:58,757
and them swill-happy hogs
just about tromped her to death.
235
00:16:02,848 --> 00:16:04,907
Now, Herman, I phoned the college,
236
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:08,333
and they said the coach will be
working in his office all evening.
237
00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:12,389
Yes. Grandpa and I want you
to go down there right now and straighten this mess out...
238
00:16:12,294 --> 00:16:14,285
so that Marilyn can
go to school tomorrow.
239
00:16:14,278 --> 00:16:17,270
But, Lily,
I'll... I'll be so embarrassed.
240
00:16:17,224 --> 00:16:20,284
Those nice men might yell at me.
241
00:16:20,234 --> 00:16:25,365
Oh, Herman.
What are you anyway? A man or a mouse?
242
00:16:25,229 --> 00:16:28,824
Now, Lily.
After all these years,
243
00:16:28,751 --> 00:16:30,912
you... you can't
tell the difference?
244
00:16:35,987 --> 00:16:38,581
[Wolf Howling]
245
00:16:45,368 --> 00:16:51,000
Now, Moose, I ask ya...
did you ever see a house like this in all your born days?
246
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,108
I sure didn't, Pa.
247
00:16:53,085 --> 00:16:57,078
Ain't nobody back home
could afford nothin' this fancy.
248
00:16:56,991 --> 00:16:59,892
I don't care if the Munsters
do live in a mansion.
249
00:16:59,841 --> 00:17:02,366
It ain't gonna slow me down none.
250
00:17:09,382 --> 00:17:12,374
[Heavy Footsteps Approaching]
251
00:17:17,227 --> 00:17:21,288
Yes?
What do you think, Pa?
252
00:17:21,198 --> 00:17:24,827
I think the hogs already
tromped on this boy's face.
253
00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:27,982
And then when this coach feller
throwed us out...
254
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:31,619
and we read that you had
latched on to Moose's scholarship,
255
00:17:31,539 --> 00:17:36,135
we just come over here to marinate
your gizzard in sheep-dip.
256
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:40,391
Uh, uh, good heavens.
I'd hate to put you to all that trouble.
257
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:45,741
As a matter of fact,
Herman signing up to play basketball was only the result of a mix-up.
258
00:17:45,595 --> 00:17:47,790
Yeah, of course.
Why, when you knocked,
259
00:17:47,773 --> 00:17:50,606
he was on his way down
to straighten it all out.
260
00:17:50,558 --> 00:17:53,322
He was. Weren't you, Herman?
261
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,875
Yes. L... l... I was at that.
262
00:17:56,802 --> 00:17:59,168
In the interest of fair play...
263
00:17:59,139 --> 00:18:01,869
and, uh, my gizzard.
264
00:18:01,829 --> 00:18:05,765
Well, now, that makes
a mite difference, don't it, Moose?
265
00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:09,437
It does iffen I get
my athletic scholarship.
266
00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:11,344
Uh, uh, uh, tell you what.
267
00:18:11,339 --> 00:18:15,002
Why don't you nice gentlemen
sit here while I go down and speak to that coach.
268
00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:20,864
Oh, that's a fine idea, Herman.
And while you're gone, I'll try to make our friends feel at home.
269
00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:24,749
See you later.
Gentlemen, make yourselves comfortable.
270
00:18:24,658 --> 00:18:26,956
Well, thank you.
271
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:31,732
You'll have to pardon me, mister,
for staring at your suit, but... [Chuckles]
272
00:18:31,606 --> 00:18:35,235
If you was to come to our town
duded up like that,
273
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,857
folks would bury you
before you could blink an eye.
274
00:18:38,778 --> 00:18:40,939
Oh, thank you.
275
00:18:40,924 --> 00:18:43,484
I'll consider that an invitation.
276
00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:47,549
Oh, my, Grandpa.
That fire's gone out again. Would you mind?
277
00:18:47,455 --> 00:18:49,946
Oh, I'd be delighted.
278
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,912
And I'll go and fix some tea.
279
00:18:56,997 --> 00:18:58,988
Hey, Pa.
280
00:18:58,982 --> 00:19:00,711
What is it, Moose?
281
00:19:00,711 --> 00:19:03,236
You're closer to my feet
than I am.
282
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,473
Would you mind
puttin' out the fire?
283
00:19:05,449 --> 00:19:08,885
Okay, son, but don't expect me
to do it every time.
284
00:19:18,738 --> 00:19:20,729
Thank you, Pa.
285
00:19:21,747 --> 00:19:25,547
What do you mean
you won't play basketball for this noble institution of learning?
286
00:19:25,462 --> 00:19:29,330
Are you out of your skull?
Oh. Oh. Uh, no, sir.
287
00:19:29,239 --> 00:19:31,605
L... I haven't been out of it in years.
288
00:19:32,473 --> 00:19:35,636
But, you see, I just cannot accept
this basketball scholarship.
289
00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:37,775
Oh, you want more money?
No, sir.
290
00:19:37,756 --> 00:19:39,849
You want a convertible?
No, sir.
291
00:19:39,837 --> 00:19:41,805
A little something
under the table, huh?
292
00:19:41,791 --> 00:19:43,725
O-Of course not.
293
00:19:43,712 --> 00:19:47,341
It's just that this basketball scholarship
does not rightfully belong to me.
294
00:19:47,266 --> 00:19:49,234
It belongs to another.
295
00:19:49,219 --> 00:19:51,619
I believe you should
withdraw my name from the team...
296
00:19:51,588 --> 00:19:53,954
and award this honorarium
to Mr. Mallory...
297
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,759
in the interests of justice
and fair play.
298
00:19:56,712 --> 00:19:58,873
He is out of his skull.
299
00:20:03,339 --> 00:20:05,432
Come right this way, Mr. Mallory.
300
00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:07,650
This here is our kitchen.
301
00:20:07,630 --> 00:20:09,928
Oh, a separate room
for eatin' vittles,
302
00:20:09,903 --> 00:20:13,669
and now look at all these
"modren cornveniences."
303
00:20:13,585 --> 00:20:17,146
Lookee here, Pa.
There's no pump.
304
00:20:17,075 --> 00:20:20,306
The water just comes splattering
right outta the pipe end.
305
00:20:20,245 --> 00:20:25,478
Yeah, son. That's, uh...
That's one of them new, uh, automatic dishwashers I've heared tell about.
306
00:20:26,329 --> 00:20:28,320
- Oh.
- And this is our icebox.
307
00:20:29,755 --> 00:20:33,282
Ooh, land of Goshen!
Look at all them eggs.
308
00:20:34,814 --> 00:20:40,047
- And big uns too.
- Oh, yes. And we keep our own vultures out in the back.
309
00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:44,170
Ooh-ee. L-I'd sure hate to
reach under one of them critters when they was nestin'.
310
00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:46,001
Wouldn't you, Pa?
311
00:20:45,988 --> 00:20:47,979
I didn't know
you had company, Aunt Lily.
312
00:20:47,973 --> 00:20:53,001
Oh, Marilyn, this is
Mr. Moose Mallory and his father.
313
00:20:52,872 --> 00:20:56,774
How do you do?
I'm mighty glad to meet you, ma'am.
314
00:20:56,682 --> 00:21:00,140
I declare, you're prettier
than a bucket full of hog livers.
315
00:21:00,076 --> 00:21:02,010
Oh, thank you very much.
316
00:21:01,997 --> 00:21:06,161
Yeah, I guess, uh, you could say
she is the pick of the litter.
317
00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:10,660
Marilyn, uh, why don't you
take the young man out back and show him our garden?
318
00:21:10,546 --> 00:21:14,107
Oh, all right.
Ooh-ee.
319
00:21:14,036 --> 00:21:18,097
Oh, uh, be careful.
D-Don't step on the poison ivy.
320
00:21:18,006 --> 00:21:20,065
It's just beginning to bloom.
321
00:21:22,425 --> 00:21:26,794
Oh, ma'am, I sure hope
that your husband can work things out...
322
00:21:26,684 --> 00:21:29,278
and get my son
on that basketball team.
323
00:21:29,245 --> 00:21:31,509
I just can't wait
to move up here...
324
00:21:31,486 --> 00:21:35,445
and live high on the hog
like y'all do.
325
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,294
Munster, will you knock it off?
326
00:21:37,281 --> 00:21:40,182
You signed this paper,
and you're going to play.
327
00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:45,535
- Yeah. Where's your sportsmanship?
- I am not tearing up this contract and signing Mallory.
328
00:21:45,382 --> 00:21:48,647
But I tell you I won't play!
329
00:21:48,584 --> 00:21:50,518
I will not play!
330
00:21:50,506 --> 00:21:53,805
I won't! I won't! I won't!
331
00:21:56,013 --> 00:21:59,949
Now, uh, uh, uh,
what are you gonna do about it?
332
00:22:01,839 --> 00:22:04,330
Like I said,
333
00:22:04,305 --> 00:22:08,401
I'm going to, uh,
tear up this contract and, uh, sign Mallory.
334
00:22:12,982 --> 00:22:15,382
[Man On Radio]
And now for the local sports scene.
335
00:22:15,351 --> 00:22:19,014
Moose Mallory, the sensational
high-scoring forward of Westbury College,
336
00:22:18,937 --> 00:22:21,872
led his team
to its 15th straight victory.
337
00:22:21,819 --> 00:22:26,119
The Moose scored 68 points
and set an all-time conference record.
338
00:22:26,013 --> 00:22:30,313
Coach Denman sees his team going to
the national championships undefeated.
339
00:22:30,208 --> 00:22:34,201
[Laughs]
That's what I wanted to hear. And now for the local weather...
340
00:22:34,114 --> 00:22:37,140
It's nice to know
the boy's doing so well in college.
341
00:22:37,092 --> 00:22:39,356
And he has you to thank for it, dear.
342
00:22:39,334 --> 00:22:42,826
Well, Lily, if we can't
help a young man up the ladder of success,
343
00:22:42,759 --> 00:22:45,956
we're pretty sorry excuses
for human beings.
344
00:22:46,954 --> 00:22:49,354
[Horn Honks]
Good night, everybody. That's my date.
345
00:22:49,323 --> 00:22:51,723
- I'm going out with Moose Mallory.
- Oh.
346
00:22:51,692 --> 00:22:54,286
Good night.
347
00:22:55,215 --> 00:22:58,878
That sweet boy must see something
in Marilyn that we don't.
348
00:22:58,801 --> 00:23:01,361
[Grandpa]
Well.
349
00:23:01,330 --> 00:23:03,321
What are you gonna do, Grandpa?
350
00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:07,046
I'm gonna do a little peeking at Moose and Marilyn.
That's what I'm gonna do.
351
00:23:07,862 --> 00:23:10,695
Well, why didn't he say so?
352
00:23:10,647 --> 00:23:12,638
[Chuckles]
Come on.
353
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:19,729
You know, Herman, it must be hard for a boy like Moose to struggle
through college on a scholarship.
354
00:23:19,581 --> 00:23:23,347
You're right, Lily.
I'll bet it calls for many sacrifices.
355
00:23:23,263 --> 00:23:25,731
Mmm.
356
00:23:30,083 --> 00:23:32,074
Wow!
357
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,714
Get a load of that car.
358
00:23:42,666 --> 00:23:46,329
He... He must have a job working nights
at the school cafeteria.
359
00:23:46,379 --> 00:23:50,929
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