Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:12,053
♪♪
2
00:00:25,217 --> 00:00:28,777
America, we've had some
good times together, right?
3
00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,264
So now you know me.
4
00:00:30,339 --> 00:00:33,149
Even with the television show,
I'm still Bernie Mac.
5
00:00:33,225 --> 00:00:35,815
I still say the things
you want to say, but you can't.
6
00:00:35,894 --> 00:00:37,494
I'm not saying it's easy.
7
00:00:37,562 --> 00:00:40,362
See, every week somebody's
in my face, talking about
8
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,200
"Bernie Mac, you can't say this.
Bernie Mac, you can't say that."
9
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:46,616
I told you television
was not going to change me,
10
00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:47,866
and it hasn't.
11
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,078
I still say what I want.
12
00:00:50,158 --> 00:00:51,318
You hear me?
13
00:00:52,211 --> 00:00:53,501
I'm still not sure
what the problem is.
14
00:00:53,578 --> 00:00:55,388
Is Bryana hurt?
15
00:00:56,164 --> 00:00:58,724
Oh, something she said.
16
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:02,512
Well, what did she say?
17
00:01:02,587 --> 00:01:06,137
You don't want to discuss it
over the phone?
18
00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:08,226
Okay, I'm on my way.
19
00:01:10,262 --> 00:01:11,672
What did baby girl say?
20
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:16,361
I thought in the time
it would take you to get here
21
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:19,398
I would have the courage
to repeat it.
22
00:01:19,479 --> 00:01:20,349
But, um...
23
00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:21,580
You can't say?
24
00:01:22,941 --> 00:01:25,581
Well, can you write it down?
25
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,172
I already did.
26
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:34,996
Baby girl said this?
27
00:01:35,078 --> 00:01:36,918
Now, see, what
I cannot understand, Mr. Mac,
28
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,071
is where she could have
heard it.
29
00:01:38,148 --> 00:01:39,258
I mean, who would have said
30
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,813
such an ugly,
hateful, angry thing?
31
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,267
Hey, baby?
32
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:49,481
Hmm?
33
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,850
The phone bill's
kind of high this month.
34
00:01:52,929 --> 00:01:54,399
Look at that.
35
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:56,061
Oh, Vanessa was
doing good in school
36
00:01:56,141 --> 00:01:57,441
so I let her
call some friends.
37
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:58,567
Nessa?
38
00:01:58,643 --> 00:01:59,863
Mm-hmm.
39
00:01:59,936 --> 00:02:01,566
You still got
to watch her, baby.
40
00:02:01,646 --> 00:02:03,566
I mean, she already
thinks we're rich.
41
00:02:03,648 --> 00:02:06,278
Well, compared to
where she's from...
42
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:09,539
Yeah, but she thinks
we're all country club rich.
43
00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:11,793
Old money rich.
44
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:14,625
Shoot, we're just
nigga rich.
45
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,879
What?
46
00:02:18,955 --> 00:02:20,505
Look at that.
47
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:25,224
I don't mean to talk
out of turn,
48
00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:27,595
but we here at Wellington
49
00:02:27,672 --> 00:02:30,932
don't consider this to be
appropriate language.
50
00:02:31,009 --> 00:02:32,599
You know, I agree,
51
00:02:32,677 --> 00:02:34,437
and I'm going to talk
to baby girl,
52
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,941
and I guarantee you she will
never use that word again.
53
00:02:37,015 --> 00:02:38,105
Well, that's great.
54
00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:39,237
-But, Mr. Mac?
-Yes?
55
00:02:39,318 --> 00:02:41,988
I don't mean to talk
out of turn again,
56
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:45,162
but I'm not sure that
57
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:48,826
it's appropriate
for anyone to say.
58
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:49,952
Well, it's...
59
00:02:50,028 --> 00:02:52,288
Look, I don't mean to overstep.
60
00:02:52,364 --> 00:02:53,504
No, no, no. Step.
61
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,963
I mean, maybe I'm not in
a position to say...
62
00:02:55,033 --> 00:02:56,833
No, no, you're in a position.
63
00:02:56,910 --> 00:03:00,130
-If I'm speaking
out of turn... -It's your turn to speak.
64
00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:04,665
But isn't this such an ugly,
65
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:07,691
hateful,
angry word?
66
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:14,642
You know, let me explain.
67
00:03:14,719 --> 00:03:17,979
I'm not quite sure
I really know how to explain,
68
00:03:18,056 --> 00:03:20,316
but when I was growing up,
69
00:03:20,392 --> 00:03:24,492
we used this word
in many different ways,
70
00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:28,781
and we didn't really
mean anything by it.
71
00:03:28,858 --> 00:03:31,748
For example, if someone
did something ridiculous,
72
00:03:31,828 --> 00:03:35,658
we would say,
"Look at that crazy..."
73
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:37,620
Or if a brother
was real tough,
74
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:41,211
we'd say,
"That's one bad..."
75
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:43,628
You know, or if
a cat smelled real bad,
76
00:03:43,707 --> 00:03:45,217
we would say,
"Old stinkin'..."
77
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,766
Okay. Thank you, Mr. Mac.
78
00:03:47,844 --> 00:03:49,974
I understand your point.
79
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,950
Now hold up, America.
80
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,350
See, Bernie Mac is not condoning
the use of this word.
81
00:03:54,426 --> 00:03:56,176
I'm just trying to explain
to her
82
00:03:56,261 --> 00:03:57,561
how I used it in the past,
83
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,727
and I'm quite sure
some of you...
84
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,016
But that's all right.
85
00:04:01,099 --> 00:04:02,819
Bernie Mac ain't mad at you.
86
00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:04,902
Anyway, I've used it, too.
87
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,698
See, I'm just being truthful,
88
00:04:06,771 --> 00:04:09,241
so before y'all start
casting stones,
89
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:11,746
let's move on.
90
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,416
Let me sh...
91
00:04:17,499 --> 00:04:19,369
No, y'all don't need to see
everything.
92
00:04:19,451 --> 00:04:21,711
You don't need to know
everything.
93
00:04:21,786 --> 00:04:24,046
She said ...
94
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,336
(water running)
95
00:04:25,415 --> 00:04:28,045
(talking while
brushing teeth)
96
00:04:28,126 --> 00:04:30,386
...everybody watching me,
and I ain't got no privacy.
97
00:04:30,462 --> 00:04:32,722
I understand, baby.
98
00:04:32,797 --> 00:04:35,927
But we should watch
what we say in front of Bryana, though.
99
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,229
Honestly, sweetheart,
100
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,942
I didn't know
she was over there.
101
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,562
I wasn't trying
to hurt nobody.
102
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:43,112
She over there
eavesdropping.
103
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,733
Honey...
104
00:04:44,809 --> 00:04:47,569
I think it's more
than that, you know?
105
00:04:47,645 --> 00:04:49,565
When it was just
you and me in the house,
106
00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:51,407
there were certain things
that we could do,
107
00:04:51,483 --> 00:04:53,283
certain things
that we could say,
108
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:56,124
and now we have
a house full of kids.
109
00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:59,616
We're role models now.
110
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:00,709
Role models!
111
00:05:00,784 --> 00:05:02,134
Role model?
112
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,422
Huh. I'm already a role model.
113
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:05,850
Oh, come on, America.
114
00:05:05,922 --> 00:05:07,422
Y'all see me every week.
115
00:05:07,499 --> 00:05:09,419
I feed those kids,
I keep them in line
116
00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:11,341
I put a roof over their head
117
00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:13,089
and you're going to tell me
I'm not a role model?
118
00:05:13,171 --> 00:05:14,761
Please. Now granted,
119
00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:16,769
sometimes my methods are
a little coarse,
120
00:05:16,841 --> 00:05:18,641
but I don't have any
outside kids,
121
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,118
you know what I'm saying?
122
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,232
Now, see, Bernie Mac,
he's one of those...
123
00:05:22,305 --> 00:05:23,805
Uncle Bernie?
124
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,900
Did I say something bad?
125
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,829
Come here, baby girl.
126
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:30,646
Oh...
127
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,820
You know...
128
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,300
I said something bad,
129
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:37,787
and I shouldn't
have said it. My big mouth.
130
00:05:37,862 --> 00:05:40,122
And I don't ever want you
to say it again, okay?
131
00:05:40,198 --> 00:05:41,788
Okay.
132
00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:43,076
Uncle Bernie?
133
00:05:43,159 --> 00:05:44,179
Hmm?
134
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:47,000
Are you going
to say it anymore?
135
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,800
I'm going to try
my best not to,
136
00:05:48,873 --> 00:05:51,133
and I want you to pray for
your Uncle Bernie, okay?
137
00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:52,869
Okay.
138
00:05:52,945 --> 00:05:54,255
Now do me a favor.
I want you to go in the kitchen,
139
00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:56,137
pour yourself
some chocolate milk,
140
00:05:56,214 --> 00:05:57,764
and I'm going
to come in there,
141
00:05:57,833 --> 00:06:00,233
-and we're going to have
some together, okay? -Okay.
142
00:06:00,301 --> 00:06:03,111
Hey, I love you.
143
00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:05,528
You didn't say nothing back.
144
00:06:08,059 --> 00:06:09,649
There you have it, America.
145
00:06:09,727 --> 00:06:12,357
I guess Bernie Mac
can't say whatever he wants.
146
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,159
All right,
I learned my lesson.
147
00:06:14,232 --> 00:06:15,762
End of story.
148
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,703
Sorry, America,
I guess it's a short one tonight
149
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:21,158
and I don't think
I need to tie up any loose ends,
150
00:06:21,239 --> 00:06:22,609
you know what I mean?
151
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,873
So, what can I possibly say
right now?
152
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:26,461
What could be said?
153
00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:27,706
Come on, Mr. Cooley.
154
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,707
What do you meanwe got a problem?
155
00:06:29,789 --> 00:06:32,469
No, I said
"potential problem."
156
00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:33,842
Potential problem?
157
00:06:33,918 --> 00:06:35,508
Well, Mr. Mac,
158
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,851
the teacher doesn't want
to talk out of turn,
159
00:06:37,922 --> 00:06:39,942
but she's concerned about
your choice of words
160
00:06:40,016 --> 00:06:42,136
around the children.
They seem hostile to her.
161
00:06:42,218 --> 00:06:45,948
Hostile? Cooley, I ain't said
nothing hostile to those kids.
162
00:06:46,022 --> 00:06:48,402
Well, weren't you angry
about a phone bill?
163
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,355
Yeah, I was ang...
164
00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:52,235
I mean, I wasn't angry
when I said...
165
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:54,362
Um...
166
00:06:54,439 --> 00:06:56,069
I know she told you
what I said.
167
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,239
Once again, she didn't want
to talk out of turn.
168
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:01,078
For somebody who doesn't want
to talk out of turn, she sure is bumping her gums.
169
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:02,844
-Mr. Mac...
-Come on!
170
00:07:02,914 --> 00:07:04,614
You've known me
for a while now.
171
00:07:04,683 --> 00:07:07,423
I'm a good person.
I do good by those kids, man.
172
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:10,128
You know, and I mean,
to some other kid,
173
00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:11,675
I'd probably be a role model.
174
00:07:13,625 --> 00:07:15,215
I'm not going
to file a report.
175
00:07:15,293 --> 00:07:17,553
This was obviously
a misunderstanding.
176
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:20,053
All right, fine, that's
what I'm talking about.
177
00:07:20,131 --> 00:07:21,101
So we're cool again, right?
178
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,904
Just one word of advice.
179
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,356
I know her kind.
180
00:07:24,436 --> 00:07:27,436
She's one of those
touchy-feely Berkeley types.
181
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,398
Just be extra-careful
what you say around her,
182
00:07:29,474 --> 00:07:31,404
especially in anger.
183
00:07:31,476 --> 00:07:33,566
Oh, come on now,
Cooley, come on...
184
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,739
Then you won't have
to have somebody like me
185
00:07:35,813 --> 00:07:38,623
coming around
and wasting your time.
186
00:07:44,405 --> 00:07:45,655
I want to go play.
187
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,792
No, you don't.
You're going to sit right there
188
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:48,997
and you're going to
wait on your sister.
189
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,377
Come on, Uncle Bernie.
190
00:07:50,462 --> 00:07:52,962
Jordan, I said sit there
and wait on your sister.
191
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,879
That's what I mean.
192
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:56,218
You want to race?
193
00:07:57,502 --> 00:07:58,952
No, I don't want to race.
194
00:07:59,029 --> 00:08:02,599
I just want to sit right here
and wait on your sister.
195
00:08:02,674 --> 00:08:03,974
There she is.
196
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,144
(door thumps)
197
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,808
Jordan! No, you don't.
198
00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:08,806
You better not have
put a dent in my car, I swear.
199
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:10,268
There's a dent,
I'll put your hand
200
00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:11,268
right in the door and smash it.
201
00:08:11,349 --> 00:08:12,439
I'm not kidding.
202
00:08:12,517 --> 00:08:14,317
Every time I try to tell you
something...
203
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,044
(yells)
Oh, Jordan!
204
00:08:16,112 --> 00:08:17,612
What's wrong with you?
205
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:18,823
Are you blind?
206
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:19,762
Huh?
207
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:20,942
What do I have to do to put
208
00:08:21,017 --> 00:08:22,047
some sense in your head,
Jordan?
209
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:23,616
Beat you in the head
with a dictionary?
210
00:08:23,695 --> 00:08:24,885
It ain't going
to do no good,
211
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:26,121
'cause you ain't
going to see it coming,
212
00:08:26,197 --> 00:08:28,957
your big, thick pop-bottle
glasses you got on.
213
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:31,083
Jordan, I swear,
you make me so doggone angry,
214
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:34,844
I just want to wring your neck,
you stupid little beetle!
215
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,184
You...
216
00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:39,629
Hi, Uncle Bernie!
217
00:08:39,711 --> 00:08:41,471
Stupid little beetle?
218
00:08:41,546 --> 00:08:43,556
Oh, Lord...
219
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,147
Hi.
220
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,948
The boy dented my car, Cooley.
221
00:08:53,024 --> 00:08:55,154
I'm not saying that
you're not justified.
222
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,460
What you saying, then?
223
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,446
I get peeved myself.
You're not a bad man.
224
00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:01,162
It's just the words you chose.
225
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,986
-Cooley...
-Look..
226
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:05,907
it's not like I'm here
to take away the kids.
227
00:09:05,987 --> 00:09:07,827
You know what, Cooley?
228
00:09:07,905 --> 00:09:09,285
That's not a bad idea.
229
00:09:09,365 --> 00:09:11,065
That's a solution.
230
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:13,460
You need to
take away the kids. I'm a bad man, Cooley.
231
00:09:13,536 --> 00:09:15,456
Okay, Mr. Mac, if I
thought you were serious,
232
00:09:15,538 --> 00:09:17,088
I'd be worried,
233
00:09:17,165 --> 00:09:18,845
but I know that your heart's
in the right place, okay?
234
00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:22,840
Okay, man, that's it.
235
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,410
Well, not quite.
236
00:09:24,489 --> 00:09:26,649
I'm going to have to
visit you periodically
237
00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:29,925
-over the next week
for observation. -What?
238
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:31,685
Just to make sure
this isn't a hostile environment.
239
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:33,477
See, Cooley,
there you go again
240
00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:35,646
with that doggone word
"hostile."
241
00:09:35,725 --> 00:09:37,475
What do you mean by "hostile"?
242
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,820
Well, it's just
standard procedure.
243
00:09:38,895 --> 00:09:41,315
Oh, Cooley, you...
244
00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:42,527
Mr. Mac,
245
00:09:42,607 --> 00:09:44,867
this is nothing to be
overly concerned about.
246
00:09:44,942 --> 00:09:47,882
Just watch your words.
247
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:51,412
Watch my words.
248
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:55,384
Come on, America, how am I
suppose to watch my words?
249
00:09:55,453 --> 00:09:58,053
(mutters)
250
00:09:58,122 --> 00:10:00,432
What the hell is this?
251
00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:05,441
Let's move on.
252
00:10:10,927 --> 00:10:12,247
What?
253
00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:13,349
Did you remember to sign
my permission slip
254
00:10:13,429 --> 00:10:16,059
for the Covina meet?
255
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,110
You do your homework?
256
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,113
Yeah.
257
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:19,194
All of it? Your math?
258
00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:20,868
Yeah.
259
00:10:25,066 --> 00:10:27,616
Well, Nessa, if you
did your homework,
260
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,124
you'd know that
your permission slip
261
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:30,235
inside your math book.
262
00:10:30,321 --> 00:10:32,231
Nessa, you just
lied to me.
263
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,417
Just for that,
you spend two days in your room.
264
00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:36,752
Two days? That's not fair.
265
00:10:36,828 --> 00:10:39,088
You know what? You're right.
Let's make it three.
266
00:10:39,163 --> 00:10:40,763
Two plus one is three.
267
00:10:40,832 --> 00:10:42,132
You'd know that if
you did your math.
268
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,308
-But...
-But nothing.
269
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:44,838
What you mean "but"?
270
00:10:44,919 --> 00:10:47,759
You keep on talking, you
get a life sentence.
271
00:10:47,839 --> 00:10:49,429
You'll never see the sun.
272
00:10:49,507 --> 00:10:52,477
Now, go to your
room, Nessa.
273
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,562
You little liar.
274
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,601
Baby girl, come on,
put some clothes on.
275
00:10:56,681 --> 00:10:58,521
But I'm Beach Barbie.
276
00:10:58,599 --> 00:11:02,529
Baby... baby girl, look.
Look.
277
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,567
It's too cold for you
to wear that.
278
00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:06,567
You going to mess around,
you're going to get sick.
279
00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:08,489
But Beach Barbie
wears a bikini.
280
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:11,948
But Beach Barbie
can't catch a cold, baby.
281
00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:13,449
(sighs)
282
00:11:13,531 --> 00:11:15,791
Okay, you want to wear that,
283
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,141
you're going
to catch the flu.
284
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,418
And if you catch the flu
and start throwing up,
285
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:21,155
I'm not going to do nothing.
286
00:11:21,238 --> 00:11:23,308
And if you start throwing up,
I'm going to make you lie in it.
287
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,563
-Now, you want to do that?
-No.
288
00:11:25,635 --> 00:11:28,255
Baby girl, could you please
put on some clothes?
289
00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:31,977
-Okay.
-Thank you.
290
00:11:35,219 --> 00:11:36,859
Now, that's good parenting.
291
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,280
Jordan, put that ice cream up.
You're about to eat dinner in a few minutes.
292
00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:44,442
Oh, but I'm hungry now.
293
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,280
I didn't ask you that.
I said put it up.
294
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:48,275
Oh, come on, Uncle Bernie.
295
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:49,417
If I tell you again, Jordan,
296
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,764
you're going to
be holding the carton
297
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:51,775
to the lump I put
on your head. Put it up.
298
00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:53,001
Aw...
299
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,853
What's that you're writing,
Jordan?
300
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:08,005
Nothing.
301
00:12:08,085 --> 00:12:09,465
Let me see it.
302
00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:11,095
Move.
303
00:12:11,172 --> 00:12:13,512
"State of California,
Department of Social Service."
304
00:12:13,591 --> 00:12:14,971
What the hell is this?
305
00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:16,851
That's a standard
Social Services form.
306
00:12:16,928 --> 00:12:18,468
For what?
307
00:12:18,546 --> 00:12:22,106
Well, sometimes in our
passionate expressiveness,
308
00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:24,483
we can be careless with
the words we choose.
309
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,490
And this is just
a little exercise
310
00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:27,862
to help us with
our awareness.
311
00:12:27,939 --> 00:12:29,529
It's an awareness exercise.
312
00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:31,617
Oh, Cooley, I'm aware.
313
00:12:31,701 --> 00:12:33,701
I'm aware I got a couple
of stool pigeons
314
00:12:33,778 --> 00:12:36,118
trying to send me down
the doggone river, Cooley.
315
00:12:36,197 --> 00:12:39,867
No, Mr. Mac, they're just
writing down your words.
316
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:42,835
Uh, for instance,
Vanessa said here
317
00:12:42,912 --> 00:12:44,342
that you would lock her
in her room
318
00:12:44,413 --> 00:12:46,103
and she would never
see the sun?
319
00:12:46,174 --> 00:12:48,474
Uh-uh, now-now,
Cooley, Cooley, that was...
320
00:12:48,543 --> 00:12:50,133
that was taken out of context.
321
00:12:50,211 --> 00:12:53,351
Well, not seeing the sun
in any context is harsh.
322
00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:55,012
Let's move on.
323
00:12:55,091 --> 00:12:56,351
Okay.
324
00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:59,353
Jordan said he'd have
to hold ice cream
325
00:12:59,428 --> 00:13:01,648
to the lump you gave
him on his head.
326
00:13:01,722 --> 00:13:05,022
No, no, no,
I'm-I'm not going down for that.
327
00:13:05,101 --> 00:13:07,031
I was referring
to the ice cream.
328
00:13:07,103 --> 00:13:09,363
Well, lump on a child's
head is hostile.
329
00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:11,528
Wh-Wh-What'd you suggest I say?
330
00:13:11,607 --> 00:13:15,157
Knot? Bump? Contusion?
331
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,370
I'm just saying that
a head injury to a child
332
00:13:17,446 --> 00:13:18,696
is inappropriate.
333
00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:22,381
Oh... that's bull!
334
00:13:22,451 --> 00:13:23,321
"Bull."
335
00:13:23,394 --> 00:13:24,634
Can you believe this?
336
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,264
They got the kids diming on me.
337
00:13:27,331 --> 00:13:28,631
All right, cool.
338
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,168
Let them twist
Bernie Mac words
339
00:13:30,251 --> 00:13:32,971
to sound like they're angry
or hostile.
340
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:34,845
I'm going to tell you
what I'm going to do, America.
341
00:13:34,922 --> 00:13:36,902
I'm going to slap the taste
out of one of their mouths.
342
00:13:36,975 --> 00:13:38,185
That's right.
I can see them now.
343
00:13:38,268 --> 00:13:40,308
"Uncle Bernie,
I can't taste my breakfast."
344
00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,566
That's because Uncle Bernie
345
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,436
slapped the taste
out of your mouth.
346
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,608
Did I go too far?
347
00:13:45,683 --> 00:13:48,783
Stool pigeon. Rats. Tricks.
348
00:13:48,853 --> 00:13:52,203
"How would you like
a four-knuckle tattoo"?
349
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:54,447
No, no, no, no, now hold on.
Hold on, now, Cooley.
350
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:57,619
I never said nothing...
351
00:13:57,695 --> 00:13:59,125
Let's... let's move on.
352
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,880
"Jump down your throat
and stomp on your liver"?
353
00:14:04,952 --> 00:14:06,392
Hold... Cooley, hold on.
354
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,130
Now, you know that's not even
physically possible.
355
00:14:08,205 --> 00:14:09,125
You know that, Cooley.
356
00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:11,336
"Nanny-nanny boo-boo.
357
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,927
Stick your head in doo-doo."
358
00:14:14,003 --> 00:14:17,763
What? That's good, right?
359
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,640
"I'm going shopping
for a tiny pink coffin"?
360
00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:22,969
Look... look here.
361
00:14:23,046 --> 00:14:24,646
I was talking about
the little Barbie doll.
362
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:25,991
There's no way in heck
363
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,145
I was talking about
little baby girl like that.
364
00:14:28,225 --> 00:14:30,475
Come on, you know I wouldn't say
nothing like that.
365
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:31,585
Cooley, I swear. Come on.
366
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:34,486
I can't eat... but I...
367
00:14:34,565 --> 00:14:36,485
See, that's...
368
00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:38,617
I can't say...
369
00:14:38,694 --> 00:14:43,164
All right, fine. Fine.
370
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,800
I ain't saying nothing.
371
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:55,175
-No, you don't.
-Yes, I do!
372
00:14:55,252 --> 00:14:56,062
-No, you don't.
-Be quiet!
373
00:14:56,137 --> 00:14:57,967
You baby, be quiet!
374
00:14:58,047 --> 00:14:58,887
You stupid jerk!
375
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,095
Cut it out!
376
00:15:00,174 --> 00:15:01,484
-Shut up!
-Leave me alone!
377
00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:03,389
-You always
get your way. -No, you don't.
378
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,309
-Yes, I do!
-No, I don't!
379
00:15:05,388 --> 00:15:06,768
Yes, you do!
380
00:15:06,847 --> 00:15:08,617
-No, I don't!
-Yes, you do, little baby!
381
00:15:08,691 --> 00:15:11,111
-No, I don't!
-Yes, you do, little ugly baby!
382
00:15:11,185 --> 00:15:12,985
So what happened?
383
00:15:13,062 --> 00:15:16,112
Yo, all kinds of stuff.
384
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:17,450
She had this little paddle.
385
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:20,655
Wanted me to act like
a naughty boy.
386
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:22,996
(laughs)
387
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,462
This girl was fine,
too, man.
388
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,003
I'd take a spanking
from her.
389
00:15:27,076 --> 00:15:28,126
-Would you?
-Yeah, I would.
390
00:15:28,202 --> 00:15:29,932
Would you take one now?
391
00:15:30,004 --> 00:15:33,014
Give me all the chips,
baby, all the chips.
392
00:15:33,082 --> 00:15:34,802
Yes, sir.
393
00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:36,525
Hey.
394
00:15:36,611 --> 00:15:38,801
I took five dollars off
your dresser for nail polish.
395
00:15:38,879 --> 00:15:39,689
Oh, okay.
396
00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:42,970
(chuckles)
397
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:43,980
Hey, man.
398
00:15:44,051 --> 00:15:44,981
Uh-huh.
399
00:15:45,052 --> 00:15:46,142
You all right?
400
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,900
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm fine.
401
00:15:47,972 --> 00:15:49,812
I think she said she
took your money, man.
402
00:15:49,890 --> 00:15:50,820
I heard her.
403
00:15:50,891 --> 00:15:52,151
Yo, yo, man, uh,
404
00:15:52,226 --> 00:15:54,816
you want me to
handle up on this?
405
00:15:54,895 --> 00:15:56,985
Look, fellas, I'm fine.
406
00:15:57,064 --> 00:15:59,164
Come on, I thought we
were going to play cards.
407
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:00,583
Okay, I'll deal, then.
408
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,830
Yeah, well, just
deal the cards.
409
00:16:02,903 --> 00:16:03,903
Bernie.
410
00:16:05,406 --> 00:16:08,666
You sure you're
all right, man?
411
00:16:08,743 --> 00:16:11,433
I'm fine.
You all right?
412
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,384
When the last time
you had a physical?
413
00:16:12,455 --> 00:16:13,835
Six months ago.
414
00:16:13,914 --> 00:16:15,044
You check your hearing?
415
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,673
I said I'm fine.
You fine?
416
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,585
Deal the damn cards.
Deal them.
417
00:16:18,669 --> 00:16:20,509
-All right.
-Oh, go on, man. I'm fine.
418
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,728
Damn. Let's play some cards.
419
00:16:27,428 --> 00:16:29,518
Ooh, Chewy Bears.
420
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,817
Ugh, those are...
I hate those.
421
00:16:31,899 --> 00:16:33,149
Hey!
422
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:36,945
Jordan, baby girl,
stop it, please.
423
00:16:40,941 --> 00:16:42,701
What you looking at?
424
00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:45,041
Did I say anything to you
when you picked about, what,
425
00:16:45,112 --> 00:16:46,872
15, 16 items?
426
00:16:46,947 --> 00:16:49,077
Don't turn your back on me
when I'm talking to you.
427
00:16:49,158 --> 00:16:50,328
You the one started it.
428
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,009
Yeah, you better walk away.
429
00:16:52,086 --> 00:16:54,706
Yeah, walk away and judge
somebody else's kids.
430
00:16:54,789 --> 00:16:57,089
That's right.
What everybody looking at?
431
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:58,646
Everybody all in my business.
432
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,636
America, you know
what need to be done.
433
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,180
You know what they need.
I can't do nothing.
434
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:03,324
My hands are tied.
435
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:06,217
Look, they took that
away from me.
436
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:09,444
America, I am truly sorry
about that.
437
00:17:09,512 --> 00:17:11,562
I just couldn't hold it in.
438
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,729
I shouldn't have
taken it out on her.
439
00:17:13,808 --> 00:17:16,068
If any one of you all
know her out there,
440
00:17:16,143 --> 00:17:19,243
please tell her that Bernie Mac
is sorry, please.
441
00:17:19,313 --> 00:17:20,483
I know better than that.
442
00:17:20,556 --> 00:17:21,566
I was brought up
better than that.
443
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,069
Big Mama gave me home training.
444
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,450
I just act like I drank
or something. I don't...
445
00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:26,788
Ignorant.
446
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:33,012
Uh, dog!
447
00:17:34,995 --> 00:17:36,465
Huh!
448
00:17:38,165 --> 00:17:40,215
Wanda!
449
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,086
What's wrong, baby?
450
00:17:41,168 --> 00:17:42,598
Come here.
451
00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:46,394
Bernie, you all right?
452
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:47,805
No, I ain't all right.
453
00:17:47,884 --> 00:17:48,924
I almost broke
my doggone neck
454
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:50,732
because you got a million
pair of shoes up in here.
455
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,556
Why you got so many shoes?
You only got two feet.
456
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,438
Bernie, I'm not going
to argue with you about these shoes.
457
00:17:55,516 --> 00:17:57,106
I'm not arguing, Wanda.
458
00:17:57,184 --> 00:18:00,784
I'm just telling you
how I feel.
459
00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:02,619
What's going on?
460
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,953
Wanda, I can't take it.
I swear I can't take it.
461
00:18:07,027 --> 00:18:08,787
I keep biting my tongue
around these kids,
462
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,297
I'm going to pop,
I'm going to lose it.
463
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:12,161
I can't be myself,
I can't be Bernie Mac.
464
00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:13,721
And if I can't be
Bernie Mac,
465
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,171
this is how it's
going to come out.
466
00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:16,264
Somebody got
to pay the price.
467
00:18:16,337 --> 00:18:17,717
You all I got.
468
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,678
Can you hold me, baby?
469
00:18:27,131 --> 00:18:28,271
I'm pitiful, Wanda.
470
00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:29,729
That's okay, baby.
471
00:18:32,386 --> 00:18:34,306
Jordan says you gave him
a threatening look.
472
00:18:34,388 --> 00:18:37,148
But I'm not going
to put that down.
473
00:18:37,224 --> 00:18:38,774
And Vanessa says
474
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,654
that you mumbled
something incoherently.
475
00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:41,327
That's not a big deal.
476
00:18:41,404 --> 00:18:43,784
So it seems like things
have gotten a lot better.
477
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:46,486
Yeah, Uncle Bernie's been
on excellent behavior.
478
00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:49,157
His word choice
has been phenomenal.
479
00:18:49,236 --> 00:18:50,406
I learned that.
480
00:18:50,487 --> 00:18:52,297
Heh, heh, heh.
481
00:18:52,373 --> 00:18:54,123
Yeah, he's much more
pleasant to be around.
482
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,710
Great. Okay.
483
00:18:55,784 --> 00:18:57,014
Mr. Mac, you have
anything to add?
484
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,668
Nothing?
485
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:02,198
For what, Cooley?
486
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,175
Anything I say is going
to get twisted around,
487
00:19:04,251 --> 00:19:06,101
and you're going to write
down in that little pad.
488
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,799
Actually, no.
Anything that's said within this meeting
489
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,431
is between us
and goes no further.
490
00:19:10,507 --> 00:19:12,017
It's completely confidential.
491
00:19:12,092 --> 00:19:13,352
Completely confidential?
492
00:19:13,427 --> 00:19:15,147
Yes, like an attorney-
client privilege.
493
00:19:15,229 --> 00:19:16,689
-Really?
-Yes.
494
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:19,114
So I can say anything
I want, right?
495
00:19:19,183 --> 00:19:21,863
As long as it's within
the context of this meeting.
496
00:19:21,936 --> 00:19:23,816
So I can talk about grabbing
somebody by the ponytail,
497
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,816
shaking their head till
they're damn near dizzy,
498
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:27,528
till water start
pouring out their eyes,
499
00:19:27,608 --> 00:19:29,488
you know what
I mean, Nessa?
500
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:30,738
I can talk about
that, can't I?
501
00:19:30,819 --> 00:19:31,999
And you, Jordan,
you know doggone well
502
00:19:32,079 --> 00:19:34,039
you're not supposed
to throw no candy.
503
00:19:34,114 --> 00:19:36,584
As a matter of fact,
you're not supposed to throw anything.
504
00:19:36,659 --> 00:19:38,799
I should've put a dent
in your head the same way you did in my car.
505
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,708
It's all right for me
to do that, Cooley?
506
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,582
And you, baby girl, yeah.
507
00:19:42,657 --> 00:19:46,217
You're just too cute.
That's the only way you get away with it.
508
00:19:46,293 --> 00:19:47,583
But that's not going to last.
509
00:19:47,661 --> 00:19:48,881
It'll last
till you're around six.
510
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,495
What are you,
five and three-quarters?
511
00:19:50,581 --> 00:19:52,811
Yeah, and then you'll be
right along with them.
512
00:19:52,883 --> 00:19:54,823
And you know what,
when you get with them,
513
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,824
POW! Slap all
three of y'all.
514
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,106
Boy, I feel so much better,
Cooley.
515
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,069
See, the beauty of it
516
00:20:03,143 --> 00:20:05,073
you all ain't hearthe real Bernie Mac
517
00:20:05,145 --> 00:20:06,585
two-piece. Pow-pow!
518
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:07,663
So you ain't going
to see the second one,
519
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,210
'cause the first one
knocked you out.
520
00:20:09,283 --> 00:20:13,203
Mr. Mac, I can no longer be
a party to this abusive tirade.
521
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,849
No, come on, Cooley.
522
00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:15,960
I can't keep
watching what I say in front of these kids.
523
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,670
It's going to come
out like this.
524
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,745
You leave me
no other choice.
525
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:21,457
Jordan, you got
one more time
526
00:20:21,537 --> 00:20:22,797
to sit at that breakfast table
527
00:20:22,872 --> 00:20:24,422
and chew your food
with your mouth open,
528
00:20:24,498 --> 00:20:25,758
breathing through your nose.
529
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,423
I'm going to give you a jab
in the bread basket.
530
00:20:27,501 --> 00:20:29,341
I swear that'll clear up
your sinuses.
531
00:20:29,354 --> 00:20:30,744
Oh, Mr. Mac.
532
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:31,863
No, you're not
there, Cooley.
533
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:32,999
You don't see them
every morning--
534
00:20:33,074 --> 00:20:35,224
-(nasal smacking)
-This has got to stop.
535
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:36,771
This has been going on
for over an hour.
536
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:37,844
Look here, Cooley,
537
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,560
I'm just starting
to enjoy myself.
538
00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:41,558
I ask you, you going
to come tomorrow?
539
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,774
I wasn't planning to.
540
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:44,190
Well, come on, hey, kids,
541
00:20:44,268 --> 00:20:45,398
don't y'all want to see
Brad Cooley tomorrow?
542
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:46,437
Say yes.
543
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:50,240
Please, Mr. Cooley,
make him stop.
544
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:52,116
Very good, Mr. Mac.
545
00:20:52,192 --> 00:20:53,912
Very good.
546
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,906
Bernie Mac is back, baby.
547
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,578
I can say what I want again.
548
00:20:57,656 --> 00:20:59,046
Well, for the most part.
549
00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,445
But you know
what I'm talking about.
550
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:03,496
Life is good, America.
Life is good.
551
00:21:03,579 --> 00:21:05,799
These kids taking me
through all that.
552
00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:07,393
They're just
a pain in the ass.
553
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:11,427
That's what they are, America,
just a pain in the ass.
554
00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:13,473
Y'all got kids, you know.
555
00:21:13,547 --> 00:21:15,597
I just deal with mine
up front.
556
00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:18,484
I don't go behind the curtain,
you know.
557
00:21:18,552 --> 00:21:19,682
Just a pain in the ass.
558
00:21:19,754 --> 00:21:21,114
Ooh, every time you know
it's a kid around.
559
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:23,149
When your booty start hurting,
it's a kid around.
560
00:21:23,223 --> 00:21:24,663
A kid is close.
561
00:21:24,734 --> 00:21:26,284
Ooh, my booty hurt.
It's a kid somewhere.
562
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:27,652
Ow!
563
00:21:27,728 --> 00:21:28,818
It's children.
564
00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:31,816
Bryana, what did you
just say Billy was?
565
00:21:31,899 --> 00:21:33,989
I said Billy
was a pain in the...
566
00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:35,208
Ass?
567
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,653
I understand, baby.
568
00:21:40,724 --> 00:21:44,594
We should watch
what we say in front of Bryana though.
569
00:21:44,661 --> 00:21:47,461
Honestly, baby, I didn't
know she was over there.
570
00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:49,299
I didn't mean nothing by it.
571
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,765
She over there eavesdropping.
572
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:54,094
Honey, I think
it's more than that.
573
00:21:54,171 --> 00:21:55,771
You know, when it was just
you and me in the house,
574
00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:58,468
certain things
we could do,
575
00:21:58,550 --> 00:21:59,750
certain things
we could say.
576
00:21:59,827 --> 00:22:01,477
But we have a house
full of kids where...
577
00:22:01,553 --> 00:22:04,813
(faucet sputtering)
578
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:06,610
-(man laughs)
-(bleeping)
579
00:22:06,683 --> 00:22:08,153
-MAN: Cut!
-Did you pay the bill?
580
00:22:08,227 --> 00:22:09,987
Captioned by VISUAL DATA
581
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:14,587
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
41145
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.