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1
00:00:04,744 --> 00:00:06,224
Oh! Seven in a row!
2
00:00:06,268 --> 00:00:07,312
That's seven for Kevin!
3
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,445
We're in Seventh Kevin, baby!
4
00:00:09,489 --> 00:00:11,404
Hey, one more and
that's a sweep, son,
5
00:00:11,447 --> 00:00:13,840
and that means a naked
lap for you, Neil!
6
00:00:13,884 --> 00:00:16,017
God, not again.
7
00:00:16,061 --> 00:00:17,887
Patty, what do you
care? You're my sister.
8
00:00:17,931 --> 00:00:19,672
You used to change my diapers.
9
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,632
Which is weird 'cause you're
three years older than me.
10
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,243
Come on.Alright. Watch this.
11
00:00:25,287 --> 00:00:26,245
Here we go. Kevin.
12
00:00:26,288 --> 00:00:27,245
Larry Bird!
13
00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:28,724
Aah!
14
00:00:28,769 --> 00:00:32,032
I mean, sorry, Mom.
15
00:00:32,077 --> 00:00:34,687
Neil, what is our
one house rule?
16
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:36,733
Yankees suck.
17
00:00:36,776 --> 00:00:39,910
No. Don't call me Mom.
18
00:00:39,953 --> 00:00:43,044
And, yes, of course,
Yankees suck.
19
00:00:43,087 --> 00:00:44,523
Well, this looks fun.
20
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,264
This is practice.
21
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,093
Can't lose the beer
pong tournament
22
00:00:48,136 --> 00:00:50,138
at our anniversary party.
23
00:00:50,181 --> 00:00:52,358
Okay, yes, well,
about the party.
24
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,552
I've been thinking... Patty: Oh.
25
00:00:53,576 --> 00:00:55,838
Man. No!
26
00:00:57,797 --> 00:00:59,886
That maybe, instead of a rager,
27
00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:01,888
we could celebrate
our 10th anniversary
28
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,587
with something more... adult.
29
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:06,936
Like a threesome?
Like a threesome?
30
00:01:06,981 --> 00:01:08,983
Um, no. No.
31
00:01:09,026 --> 00:01:11,767
Like, maybe a-a grown-up
dinner together.
32
00:01:11,811 --> 00:01:13,987
I mean, we are 35.
33
00:01:14,031 --> 00:01:17,644
Yeah, but you're lady
35 and I'm boy 35.
34
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:18,993
What's the difference?
35
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:21,429
Well, I'm just hitting
my prime, and you...
36
00:01:21,474 --> 00:01:23,650
Hmm?
37
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,868
Are, too.
38
00:01:25,912 --> 00:01:29,569
Very quick. I think
she bought it.
39
00:01:29,612 --> 00:01:30,874
Come on.
40
00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:32,833
You love the Anniversa-rager.
41
00:01:32,876 --> 00:01:35,008
You always say, "I
don't want one!"
42
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,707
But I know you
have the best time
43
00:01:37,751 --> 00:01:40,144
putting it together and... Oh!
44
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,582
I do love a planning phase.
45
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:44,061
That's my girl.
46
00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:47,543
Nothing says "party"
like your flowcharts.
47
00:01:47,587 --> 00:01:49,022
Alright.
48
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:49,980
Let's get this all
cleared up, okay?
49
00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:51,174
'Cause dinner's almost ready.
50
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,939
- Oh, come on!
- I'm up next!
51
00:01:52,983 --> 00:01:54,941
No, see, this is why
I call you "Mom."
52
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:57,204
Guys, leave her alone, alright?
53
00:01:57,249 --> 00:01:59,293
Someone has to be
responsible. Right?
54
00:01:59,338 --> 00:02:01,121
Thank you.
55
00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:04,037
Okay, babe, how about
this... How about next year,
56
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:07,041
we will celebrate our
anniversary your way, 'kay?
57
00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:08,607
Okay. Yoink.
58
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:11,566
Game on!
59
00:02:11,611 --> 00:02:14,179
Game over! It's
naked lap time, Neil!
60
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:15,353
Hey, babe. Yes?
61
00:02:15,397 --> 00:02:16,398
Can you grab us freshies?
62
00:02:16,441 --> 00:02:17,572
Oh!
63
00:02:17,617 --> 00:02:19,575
Allison, avert your eyes.
64
00:02:19,619 --> 00:02:21,403
I can't have you
leaving Kevin for me.
65
00:02:46,254 --> 00:02:47,907
I'm fine!
66
00:03:59,066 --> 00:04:00,936
Ugh.
67
00:04:02,809 --> 00:04:04,984
Okay.
68
00:04:10,903 --> 00:04:12,513
I just stepped on
a very large roach.
69
00:04:12,557 --> 00:04:14,689
Aw, no. Did you kill it?
70
00:04:14,734 --> 00:04:18,912
Worcester Harvest Fair has a
contest for biggest vermin.
71
00:04:18,955 --> 00:04:20,956
'Course we do.
72
00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:23,350
Next time, just, uh,
sweep 'im into your shoe.
73
00:04:23,395 --> 00:04:26,701
It was bigger than my shoe.
74
00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:30,532
God. I hope he had babies.
75
00:04:30,576 --> 00:04:32,838
Uh, what have I said
about green stuff?
76
00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,056
It's garnish.
77
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,321
On scrambled eggs and hot dogs?
78
00:04:36,364 --> 00:04:37,713
Yes.
79
00:04:37,756 --> 00:04:39,323
Uh. Nom-nom-nom-nom-nom.
80
00:04:39,367 --> 00:04:40,977
Yum.
81
00:04:44,328 --> 00:04:46,417
Ke... Mm. Kevin,
when I bought you
82
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,376
those Curt Schilling coasters,
you promised you'd use them.
83
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:52,119
This coffee table's
from Pottery Barn.
84
00:04:52,162 --> 00:04:54,948
Pottery Barn from
Goodwill is just Goodwill.
85
00:04:54,991 --> 00:04:58,212
It's like getting
lobster from McDonald's.
86
00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,996
It's the nicest thing
we have in this house.
87
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,956
Uh, I think you're forgetting
about my Wade Boggs rookie card.
88
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,306
No, I'm not.
89
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:09,136
Hey. We've been here
for 10 years now.
90
00:05:09,179 --> 00:05:10,592
Don't you think it's time
we take some of the money
91
00:05:10,616 --> 00:05:12,573
we've saved and
invest in our future?
92
00:05:12,617 --> 00:05:15,924
Wade Boggs only appreciates.
93
00:05:15,968 --> 00:05:18,580
You never get that feeling that
maybe change wouldn't be so...
94
00:05:18,624 --> 00:05:20,321
Nope.
95
00:05:20,364 --> 00:05:21,800
Well, look at the time.
96
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:25,631
You really should get...
Really should get going.
97
00:05:25,674 --> 00:05:27,285
Aw. Man.
98
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,242
Can't we switch
places for the day?
99
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,852
How'd that work?
100
00:05:30,896 --> 00:05:34,422
Well, uh, you can wear a
fat suit and install cable,
101
00:05:34,465 --> 00:05:36,424
and I can work at the
happiest place on Earth.
102
00:05:36,468 --> 00:05:40,254
It's a liquor store.
I know what I said.
103
00:05:40,297 --> 00:05:42,037
It's no fair that
you get to work there
104
00:05:42,081 --> 00:05:43,736
while I have to
watch my snobby boss
105
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:46,956
give the fiber optic job
to Brenda. To Brenda.
106
00:05:46,999 --> 00:05:48,174
That job was mine.
107
00:05:48,218 --> 00:05:50,220
Well, it pays the same.Psh.
108
00:05:50,263 --> 00:05:54,049
You can't put a
price on prestige.
109
00:05:54,093 --> 00:05:56,530
Tell that to Pottery Barn.
110
00:05:58,924 --> 00:06:01,622
Okay. Well, I'm gonna go run
some errands before work.
111
00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:03,451
Oh. Uh, hey, if you're looking
112
00:06:03,494 --> 00:06:06,018
for an anniversary
gift idea for me,
113
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:09,761
they make alcoholic snow
cones now, so, just an idea.
114
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:12,285
I saw the note you left
on the bathroom mirror.
115
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,766
You know that's
permanent marker, right?
116
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:18,292
Well, that's 'cause it's
a permanent reminder.
117
00:06:18,335 --> 00:06:21,513
And I'm sure you're wondering what
I'm gonna get you for the occasion,
118
00:06:21,556 --> 00:06:24,665
so tell Neil what to get and he'll tell me.
Tell Neil what to get and he'll tell you.
119
00:06:24,689 --> 00:06:25,691
Okay.
120
00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:26,866
Love you.
121
00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:28,736
Love you.
122
00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:18,047
Hey. Hey.
123
00:07:43,986 --> 00:07:45,510
Pick up your trash.
124
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,468
It's not that hard.
125
00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:04,703
No!
126
00:08:08,227 --> 00:08:09,751
Aah!
127
00:08:09,794 --> 00:08:11,665
Why would anyone put
a trash can there
128
00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,494
in the first place?
129
00:08:13,537 --> 00:08:15,583
Ugh!
130
00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:17,185
It's yours if you want it.
131
00:09:17,209 --> 00:09:20,256
Oh.
132
00:09:20,299 --> 00:09:22,954
I don't think it's wanting
it enough that's the problem.
133
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:24,434
Well, a new listing came in.
134
00:09:24,477 --> 00:09:26,480
I thought of you
the minute I saw it.
135
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,089
What?
136
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:29,806
Sellers are motivated,
it's within the gates,
137
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:32,660
but on the smaller side,
and you only need 5% down.
138
00:09:32,703 --> 00:09:34,096
Wow.
139
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:37,011
That's, like, all our savings.
140
00:09:37,055 --> 00:09:38,424
10 years' worth just
for a down payment?
141
00:09:38,448 --> 00:09:39,841
I don't think I could... Eh.
142
00:09:39,885 --> 00:09:42,103
Math is workable.
143
00:09:42,147 --> 00:09:43,410
Math is workable?
144
00:09:43,453 --> 00:09:45,150
Come on in, we'll
do some crunching.
145
00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:46,847
I'll take your coat.
146
00:09:46,891 --> 00:09:49,068
Come on. Here.
147
00:09:49,111 --> 00:09:50,982
Um, let me, um... Just a sec.
148
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:51,983
Sorry. Oh!
149
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:53,637
God, what the hell?
150
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,464
Oh, my God. I am so sorry.
151
00:09:55,509 --> 00:09:57,424
Oh, no. I just bit my tongue.
152
00:09:57,467 --> 00:09:58,817
Can I... No, no.
153
00:09:58,860 --> 00:10:00,514
Just come in, and we
can discuss the...
154
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:01,862
You know what?
It's... It's fine.
155
00:10:01,906 --> 00:10:03,928
'Cause I don't think this
actually would really make
156
00:10:03,952 --> 00:10:05,997
a lot of sense for us right now.
157
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,390
Mm. Yeah.
158
00:10:07,434 --> 00:10:09,654
But you should really ice that.
159
00:10:29,847 --> 00:10:31,892
Hi. Excuse me.
160
00:10:31,937 --> 00:10:33,678
Hi. Hi.
161
00:10:33,721 --> 00:10:36,332
Um, could you tell me what
shade of red is right?
162
00:10:36,376 --> 00:10:38,117
I-It's my anniversary coming up,
163
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,120
and I've always loved kind of
the classic red lip, you know?
164
00:10:41,163 --> 00:10:43,035
But when I try, I always choose
165
00:10:43,078 --> 00:10:45,689
the wrong shade of red
and end up looking trashy.
166
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,996
With you? Impossible.
167
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,694
Come on. No, no.
168
00:10:49,737 --> 00:10:51,193
I think whatever you're
wearing now is perfect.
169
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,652
I totally agree.
170
00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:54,437
This whole look
really works for you.
171
00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:55,873
Yeah.
172
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,833
Well, it's just
tinted ChapStick.
173
00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:00,313
Oh.
174
00:11:04,708 --> 00:11:06,666
Well, you coulda told me.
175
00:11:18,069 --> 00:11:21,682
And a Powah Ball quick pick,
bonus numbah 11 for Edelman.
176
00:11:21,726 --> 00:11:23,573
And, uh, throw in a couple
of the wheel scratchers.
177
00:11:23,597 --> 00:11:25,120
My girl likes 'em.
178
00:11:30,996 --> 00:11:33,171
Allison.
179
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:34,781
There's my girl. How are ya?
180
00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,565
Hey, D. I'm... I'm good.
181
00:11:36,609 --> 00:11:38,307
How are you?
182
00:11:38,351 --> 00:11:40,415
Eh, you know, better than your
Uncle Chuck with his back.
183
00:11:40,439 --> 00:11:41,963
They call it a slipped disc?
184
00:11:42,006 --> 00:11:43,897
More like it tripped down
three flights of stairs.
185
00:11:43,921 --> 00:11:45,140
But
186
00:11:45,184 --> 00:11:46,924
what can you do, right?
187
00:11:46,968 --> 00:11:48,969
Physical therapy?
188
00:11:49,014 --> 00:11:51,712
Oh, sweetie, you
got a little snag.
189
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:53,757
Ooh. What's in the fancy bag?
190
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,454
You bring your auntie
something nice.
191
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:56,586
Uh, no. It's for Kevin.
192
00:11:56,630 --> 00:11:59,415
I got him a watch
for our anniversary.
193
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:02,156
Mm. La-de-da.
194
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,203
What'd he get you? Nothing yet.
195
00:12:04,246 --> 00:12:06,378
He wants me to tell
him what I want.
196
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:07,988
Mm. Good man.
197
00:12:08,032 --> 00:12:10,818
O-Our first anniversary,
Chuck got me running shoes.
198
00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:12,993
Yeah. Can you imagine?
199
00:12:13,038 --> 00:12:14,996
These knees don't run.
200
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,780
Don't make men guess.
201
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,784
Tell him you want a Dyson
or a Pandora's bracelet.
202
00:12:19,827 --> 00:12:22,525
Well, I-I don't
want any of that.
203
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,310
Sign of a good life.
204
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:27,791
Hmm?
205
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,401
You got lucky, honey.
206
00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:30,620
Mm?
207
00:12:30,664 --> 00:12:32,231
We both did.
208
00:12:34,886 --> 00:12:37,017
Ah.
209
00:12:37,062 --> 00:12:38,237
Ah.
210
00:12:42,458 --> 00:12:43,808
Kevin?
211
00:12:43,851 --> 00:12:45,809
Present. Oh, good, you're home.
212
00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,202
I'm home and I'm screwed.
213
00:12:47,246 --> 00:12:48,594
Uh-huh.
214
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:49,876
Word of the party
got around work.
215
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,033
All the way up to
Bossman Harrison.
216
00:12:52,077 --> 00:12:53,468
Uh-huh.
217
00:12:53,512 --> 00:12:56,036
Now he's coming
and he cannot hang.
218
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,213
I found what I want
for our anniversary.
219
00:12:58,256 --> 00:12:59,823
I told you to tell Neil.
220
00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:02,217
I did. He's crying next door.
221
00:13:04,698 --> 00:13:06,046
Happy anniversary.
222
00:13:06,091 --> 00:13:07,788
What's this?
223
00:13:07,832 --> 00:13:09,223
We're moving!
224
00:13:17,711 --> 00:13:19,079
Okay, so we need to
get a credit report
225
00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:21,019
and fill out an application.
226
00:13:21,062 --> 00:13:23,126
And you paid off that student
loan a while back, right?
227
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,458
Why would I pay it back if
you never went to college?
228
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,112
Because you still used it.Yeah.
229
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:31,506
To invest in Neil's
Hooters for Butts business.
230
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:33,291
Ah, yes. Only a matter of time
231
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,815
till you see that back-end.
232
00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:37,469
Can you, uh, hand me the tablet?
233
00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:43,563
Why are you doing that?
234
00:13:43,606 --> 00:13:46,347
Well, ladies always
do it in the movies,
235
00:13:46,391 --> 00:13:48,481
and I wanted to feel fancy.
236
00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:55,704
Kev, thisis fancy.
237
00:13:55,748 --> 00:13:58,925
Look, it's got granite
countertops and a mudroom.
238
00:13:58,969 --> 00:14:01,275
We could be Amherst Gates
residents in one month.
239
00:14:01,319 --> 00:14:02,495
It's great, babe. It is.
240
00:14:02,538 --> 00:14:04,496
But, I mean
241
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,324
do we have to go?
242
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:09,544
Can't some things just
stay the same anymore?
243
00:14:09,588 --> 00:14:12,373
We've saved for so long. We
can cover the down payment.
244
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,072
We can own a home.
245
00:14:14,115 --> 00:14:16,639
Is it really that much
better than this place?
246
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,343
It's not about the
house, you know?
247
00:14:24,386 --> 00:14:25,953
It's a fresh start.
248
00:14:25,996 --> 00:14:28,913
We can be everything
we always wanted.
249
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:32,045
I don't know what
else we could be, but,
250
00:14:32,089 --> 00:14:33,786
but okay.
251
00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:35,049
Okay.
252
00:14:35,093 --> 00:14:38,096
What Allison wants,
Allison gets.
253
00:14:38,139 --> 00:14:39,924
Good.
254
00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:41,161
'Cause I've already made
an appointment at the bank
255
00:14:41,185 --> 00:14:42,337
first thing Monday
morning after the party.
256
00:14:42,361 --> 00:14:44,579
Ah. What party?
257
00:14:44,623 --> 00:14:48,410
It's useless now that High
and Mighty Harrison is coming.
258
00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:50,586
Being around him
is constant work.
259
00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:54,415
Oh, you say the same thing
about shoes with laces.
260
00:14:54,459 --> 00:14:57,723
I don't even see the
point of a party anymore.
261
00:14:57,766 --> 00:14:59,290
Oh, God.
262
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,771
I've lost the will to rage!
263
00:15:02,815 --> 00:15:04,687
What is there even
to live for anymore?
264
00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:15,001
Oh.
265
00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:17,135
Look at that closet space.
266
00:15:17,178 --> 00:15:18,396
Wow.
267
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:21,747
So much room for
cleaning products.
268
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,401
Oh, and that bedroom.
269
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,359
Ooh, I never wanna
leave that bedroom.
270
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,842
I can see us now.
271
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,799
Lying in that bed.
272
00:15:30,843 --> 00:15:34,194
You're wearing some
hot little thing.
273
00:15:34,238 --> 00:15:36,197
I'm wearing
274
00:15:36,241 --> 00:15:39,635
just a T-shirt.
275
00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:44,161
And we can finally do that
thing you say we'll never do.
276
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,991
We've had this discussion.
277
00:15:47,034 --> 00:15:48,775
Gotta embrace change, baby.
278
00:16:39,738 --> 00:16:41,673
You know, we never got to
have parties in the seminary.
279
00:16:41,697 --> 00:16:44,017
So that's why you had to have
sex with nuns... the boredom.
280
00:16:44,048 --> 00:16:46,006
What can I say?
281
00:16:46,049 --> 00:16:47,224
I got in the habit.
282
00:16:49,227 --> 00:16:50,837
Come on!
283
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,404
It was just one nun,
284
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,579
and please don't talk about
my parents having sex.
285
00:16:55,972 --> 00:16:57,408
I thought for a
second you canceled.
286
00:16:57,452 --> 00:16:58,671
Ah. Never!
287
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,194
I had one of my
strokes of genius!
288
00:17:00,238 --> 00:17:01,674
I wish I'd have those.
289
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,284
You know, instead of
the regular strokes.
290
00:17:04,328 --> 00:17:06,722
I realized, I spend
every Anniversa-rager
291
00:17:06,765 --> 00:17:08,289
putting out fires.
292
00:17:08,332 --> 00:17:11,030
That was one time, and
your eyebrows grew back.
293
00:17:11,075 --> 00:17:13,293
Mr. Harrison is a tiny hiccup.
294
00:17:13,338 --> 00:17:15,861
We just gotta keep him
away from our party.
295
00:17:15,905 --> 00:17:19,170
So, we're gonna have another
fancy, boring-person party
296
00:17:19,213 --> 00:17:22,215
for him in the living room
that you get to throw.
297
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:24,088
"Get to"?
298
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,133
You'll distract
Harrison with wine
299
00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:27,916
and tiny crackers
in the living room,
300
00:17:27,961 --> 00:17:29,789
and I'll take care
of the real party.
301
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:31,245
Okay, but you really think
he's not gonna notice
302
00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:33,052
a party in the next room?
303
00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:37,057
We're having our party
in the backyard, Allison.
304
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,406
Think of the kitchen as
a buffer between the two,
305
00:17:39,451 --> 00:17:42,322
and you... you're the most
important part of the plan.
306
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:43,715
You're the gatekeeper.
307
00:17:43,759 --> 00:17:45,152
Like St. Peter.
308
00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:46,501
But more judgmental.
309
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,592
I have always wanted to have
the boss over for dinner.
310
00:17:51,636 --> 00:17:53,508
It's what people
do, right? Great.
311
00:17:53,551 --> 00:17:55,944
Then since it's also yourparty,
312
00:17:55,989 --> 00:17:58,383
you get to pick up the supplies.
313
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,601
"Get to"?
314
00:18:00,645 --> 00:18:02,908
Okay, but if I do this,
you have to behave, okay?
315
00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:04,911
No liquor. Only beer.
316
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,410
We have that appointment at
the bank first thing tomorrow.
317
00:18:06,434 --> 00:18:08,957
Hey, I'll take it easy
like Sunday morning.
318
00:18:09,001 --> 00:18:10,221
It's Monday morning. What?
319
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,961
Huh?
320
00:18:12,004 --> 00:18:13,615
Just don't go crazy, okay?
321
00:18:13,658 --> 00:18:15,399
We need the bank guy to believe
322
00:18:15,443 --> 00:18:17,116
that we're the kind of people
who deserve a new house.
323
00:18:17,140 --> 00:18:19,578
You're not actually
moving, right?
324
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,729
This is like when you said
you were going back to school?
325
00:18:21,753 --> 00:18:24,147
Or when you wanted
to go to Paris?
326
00:18:24,191 --> 00:18:25,995
Yeah, we'll just kinda
all pretend it's happening
327
00:18:26,019 --> 00:18:27,889
until you come to your senses?
328
00:18:27,934 --> 00:18:29,761
Nope. You and your sister
329
00:18:29,805 --> 00:18:31,415
are gonna have new
neighbors to torture.
330
00:18:31,459 --> 00:18:33,026
It's happening, Neil.
331
00:18:35,942 --> 00:18:38,030
Oh.
332
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,466
I don't want you to overreact...
333
00:18:39,511 --> 00:18:41,599
I'm dying inside!
334
00:18:44,385 --> 00:18:45,994
And outside!
335
00:18:49,825 --> 00:18:51,392
Should we... I'm good.
336
00:19:22,379 --> 00:19:24,164
Give me the lip
stain in candy apple.
337
00:19:27,906 --> 00:19:29,386
Please.
338
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,438
Ugh.
339
00:19:38,482 --> 00:19:40,092
Kevin?
340
00:19:40,136 --> 00:19:43,313
Oh. Talk slower.
341
00:19:43,357 --> 00:19:44,576
Okay.
342
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,055
Please stop saying "meats."
343
00:19:46,098 --> 00:19:47,926
Meats!
344
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:50,015
I just found out that
Mr. Harrison goes nuts
345
00:19:50,059 --> 00:19:51,973
for those fancy cheese
and meat plates,
346
00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:54,194
so I need you to pick one up.
347
00:19:54,238 --> 00:19:55,847
Because I'm busy.
348
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,589
I'm auditioning Tom Brady
look-alikes for the party.
349
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:05,684
Tampa Bay is trash, man.
350
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,119
People adore you here.
351
00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:13,257
You should've stayed.
352
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,450
Well, I had a great run
in New England, and I...
353
00:20:14,474 --> 00:20:16,260
Why does everybody leave?!
354
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,653
Neil, buddy, take it easy.
355
00:20:18,696 --> 00:20:20,873
We're gonna be okay.
356
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,656
Meats and cheeses.
357
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,932
Man: Hey, honey.
358
00:20:36,975 --> 00:20:39,282
A smile looks nice on you.
359
00:20:39,326 --> 00:20:41,415
Hey, you wanna see if
you pass inspection?
360
00:20:41,459 --> 00:20:42,460
No thanks. It's a joke.
361
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:43,938
It's a joke.
362
00:20:43,982 --> 00:20:44,678
If you wanna party in
the back, though...
363
00:20:44,722 --> 00:20:46,245
No.
364
00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:48,250
Well, I'm here all the
time, you change your mind.
365
00:21:04,742 --> 00:21:06,178
Um, hi.
366
00:21:06,222 --> 00:21:07,765
I was hoping to get a
coffee and that maybe
367
00:21:07,789 --> 00:21:09,661
you had a charcuterie plate.
368
00:21:09,703 --> 00:21:11,879
The charcuterie plate
is on our catering menu,
369
00:21:11,924 --> 00:21:13,074
so you'd have to
place those order...
370
00:21:13,098 --> 00:21:14,360
Aah. Aah!
371
00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:15,492
Shit. Shit.
372
00:21:15,536 --> 00:21:17,538
Oh!
373
00:21:17,581 --> 00:21:18,626
Sam.
374
00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:20,193
Allie.
375
00:21:20,236 --> 00:21:22,107
Hi.
376
00:21:22,151 --> 00:21:24,153
Thought I might see
you at some point.
377
00:21:24,196 --> 00:21:25,894
You look... No.
378
00:21:25,937 --> 00:21:27,678
Exactly the same.
379
00:21:29,028 --> 00:21:32,944
Uh, h... wh... You,
uh, moved back?
380
00:21:32,988 --> 00:21:35,599
And you work at a diner?
381
00:21:35,643 --> 00:21:37,558
Close. I moved back,
382
00:21:37,601 --> 00:21:40,560
and I owna diner.
383
00:21:40,605 --> 00:21:42,780
This is yours?
384
00:21:42,824 --> 00:21:44,478
Okay.
385
00:21:44,521 --> 00:21:47,437
Oh, yeah, well, I'm surprised
I didn't recognize you.
386
00:21:47,481 --> 00:21:49,917
Well, market research
shows people in New England
387
00:21:49,962 --> 00:21:53,791
like diners where they think
a white lady cooks the food.
388
00:21:53,835 --> 00:21:56,011
Doesn't market research
also show that.
389
00:21:56,055 --> 00:21:58,207
Worcester is not the best
place to open a yuppie diner?
390
00:21:58,231 --> 00:21:59,537
You'd be surprised.
391
00:21:59,579 --> 00:22:00,972
Worcester's an
up-and-coming city.
392
00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:02,713
No, it's not. No, it's not.
393
00:22:02,757 --> 00:22:05,499
Oh.
394
00:22:05,542 --> 00:22:06,761
But I wanted to come back.
395
00:22:06,805 --> 00:22:09,286
But why? You got out.
396
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,242
You got to live
in New York City.
397
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:12,244
Well, Syracuse.
398
00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,029
Okay, well, aNew York city.
399
00:22:17,293 --> 00:22:19,383
So, what'd I miss
the last 15 years?
400
00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:21,036
In Worcester?
401
00:22:21,079 --> 00:22:23,038
Um.
402
00:22:23,081 --> 00:22:24,561
Oh.
403
00:22:24,605 --> 00:22:26,999
There were, like,
three new traffic plans
404
00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:28,869
for Kelly Square that
you missed out on.
405
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,395
So... condolences.Mm.
406
00:22:31,437 --> 00:22:33,657
I must be crazy
coming back here.
407
00:22:33,701 --> 00:22:36,964
Yeah. So, um, why did you?
408
00:22:37,009 --> 00:22:40,578
Kinda just pulls you back.
409
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:43,624
Yeah. I get it.
410
00:22:43,667 --> 00:22:46,192
Uh, so, how long you been
back, and where you staying?
411
00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:49,542
Well, uh, Jenn's parents are
still in their old house.
412
00:22:49,587 --> 00:22:50,892
Right.
413
00:22:50,935 --> 00:22:52,043
We're actually
renovating a place
414
00:22:52,067 --> 00:22:53,547
down near the old water tower.
415
00:22:53,590 --> 00:22:54,765
Ah.
416
00:22:54,809 --> 00:22:57,985
Happy for you.
417
00:22:58,030 --> 00:23:00,640
Okay. Um, well, I'm
gonna get going.
418
00:23:00,684 --> 00:23:02,314
Hold on. I can make that
charcuterie plate for you.
419
00:23:02,338 --> 00:23:03,837
No, don't worry about it. I
don't mind. Really, I'm...
420
00:23:03,861 --> 00:23:06,733
I can take care of it.
421
00:23:06,778 --> 00:23:08,432
But thank you.
422
00:23:22,315 --> 00:23:23,882
Hmm.
423
00:23:23,924 --> 00:23:25,468
I shoulda known you'd be
trouble when you tried
424
00:23:25,492 --> 00:23:27,406
to drop your accent
in high school.
425
00:23:37,677 --> 00:23:39,723
Meats.
426
00:23:45,946 --> 00:23:47,687
Hey. Hey.
427
00:23:49,690 --> 00:23:52,126
What?
428
00:23:52,171 --> 00:23:53,738
Nothing.
429
00:24:06,358 --> 00:24:08,447
Wow. Some party.
430
00:24:08,492 --> 00:24:09,884
Uh, it's
431
00:24:09,927 --> 00:24:11,103
elegant.
432
00:24:11,145 --> 00:24:14,193
It's understated. It's dead.
433
00:24:14,235 --> 00:24:16,170
Can't you get some of the people
from outside to come in here?
434
00:24:16,194 --> 00:24:17,152
I could use a few bodies.
435
00:24:17,195 --> 00:24:19,546
Babe, it's ouranniversary.
436
00:24:19,589 --> 00:24:20,914
Of course I'm not
gonna ask my friends
437
00:24:20,938 --> 00:24:23,115
to come to this lame thing.
438
00:24:23,157 --> 00:24:24,571
You can ask some of
your dad's friends.
439
00:24:24,595 --> 00:24:26,528
No, no, no. They're outside
revving up the tattoo gun.
440
00:24:26,552 --> 00:24:28,293
Oh.
441
00:24:28,337 --> 00:24:30,078
This whole event is a
finely tuned machine.
442
00:24:30,121 --> 00:24:31,403
Why are you trying
to mess with it?
443
00:24:31,427 --> 00:24:33,733
I'm anxious. We
have to be up early.
444
00:24:33,778 --> 00:24:35,300
I'm already thinking
about cleanup.
445
00:24:35,344 --> 00:24:36,930
So, we're having a party
and you're thinking
446
00:24:36,954 --> 00:24:38,652
about cleaning up?
447
00:24:38,695 --> 00:24:41,175
I always forget mental
illness runs in your family.
448
00:24:43,527 --> 00:24:45,484
I brought the name tags.
449
00:24:45,529 --> 00:24:47,748
I'm pretty sure we already
know each other's names.
450
00:24:47,791 --> 00:24:49,184
"Kelvin"? Yeah.
451
00:24:49,228 --> 00:24:51,404
Kevin McRoberts
has some complaints
452
00:24:51,447 --> 00:24:53,100
on the ol' cable company record,
453
00:24:53,145 --> 00:24:55,190
so when Bossman
Harrison got hired,
454
00:24:55,233 --> 00:25:00,979
I introduced myself
as Kelvin McLoberts.
455
00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,023
Hey, no permanent marker
on the coffee table.
456
00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:04,524
This is from
Pottery... Goodwill.
457
00:25:04,548 --> 00:25:06,549
It's Pottery Barn.
458
00:25:06,592 --> 00:25:09,248
I gotta get outside,
control the flow.
459
00:25:09,290 --> 00:25:11,618
I can't be stuck in here waiting
for my pain-in-the-ass boss,
460
00:25:11,642 --> 00:25:13,686
Mr. H-Harrison.
461
00:25:13,731 --> 00:25:15,427
Welcome.
462
00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:18,518
We were just discussing
a new TV show.
463
00:25:18,561 --> 00:25:19,998
"Ass Boss."
464
00:25:22,827 --> 00:25:24,175
Kelvin. Whoa.
465
00:25:24,219 --> 00:25:25,960
Geez.
466
00:25:26,003 --> 00:25:27,546
Haven't had something this
fancy since communion.
467
00:25:27,570 --> 00:25:28,963
Oh.
468
00:25:29,007 --> 00:25:31,357
Mr. Harrison, so
glad you could come.
469
00:25:31,399 --> 00:25:32,750
Mrs. McLoberts.
470
00:25:32,792 --> 00:25:34,446
Strong handshake
from a little lady.
471
00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,710
Most women develop
osteoporosis by 50.
472
00:25:36,753 --> 00:25:38,145
Good for you.
473
00:25:38,190 --> 00:25:39,452
50? I'm not even close.
474
00:25:39,495 --> 00:25:41,801
Ooh, is that a
charcuterie plate?
475
00:25:41,846 --> 00:25:44,195
It sure is.
476
00:25:44,239 --> 00:25:47,851
Oh, thank God. You're
needed outside ASAP.
477
00:25:47,895 --> 00:25:50,418
The Tom Bradys are saying they
can beat anyone at flip cup,
478
00:25:50,463 --> 00:25:51,985
and they called you out by name.
479
00:25:56,599 --> 00:25:58,819
Mr. Harrison? Uh, this
is my neighbor Neil.
480
00:25:58,863 --> 00:26:03,171
Hi, I'm Kelvin's neighbor
and closest companion, Neil.
481
00:26:03,214 --> 00:26:04,627
He needs me to help
him with a problem
482
00:26:04,651 --> 00:26:05,826
in his house for a moment.
483
00:26:05,869 --> 00:26:07,435
His plumbing... Caught on fire.
484
00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:12,745
Yup. His plumbing
caught on fire.
485
00:26:14,835 --> 00:26:16,595
The gas lines got tangled
up with the water pipes.
486
00:26:16,619 --> 00:26:18,185
It happens more than you think.
487
00:26:18,230 --> 00:26:20,145
Yeah. I should go
deal with that.
488
00:26:20,187 --> 00:26:22,016
Yeah. Now?
489
00:26:22,059 --> 00:26:23,582
'Cause the party just started.
490
00:26:23,626 --> 00:26:25,802
I know. But I'm
needed elsewhere.
491
00:26:35,551 --> 00:26:37,728
It's nice to have
good neighbors.
492
00:26:37,770 --> 00:26:39,556
Yeah.
493
00:26:42,253 --> 00:26:44,299
Well, uh, don't
ruin your dinner.
494
00:26:44,342 --> 00:26:45,909
I made quail. Oh.
495
00:26:52,742 --> 00:26:55,658
Can I just ask
496
00:26:55,702 --> 00:26:59,010
do you have a mudroom?
497
00:26:59,052 --> 00:27:01,055
I do.
498
00:27:01,098 --> 00:27:02,622
Great.
499
00:27:16,156 --> 00:27:19,203
I...
500
00:27:19,246 --> 00:27:21,075
like your coffee table.
501
00:27:21,118 --> 00:27:22,424
Thank you.
502
00:27:30,301 --> 00:27:33,130
Can I get you a glass of wine?
503
00:27:33,174 --> 00:27:34,915
Alright.
504
00:27:34,959 --> 00:27:36,134
Great.
505
00:27:36,176 --> 00:27:37,701
I'll be right back.
506
00:28:12,344 --> 00:28:14,085
No, no, no. Where'd he go?
507
00:28:18,219 --> 00:28:20,308
Guys, guys, be cool. I
don't think he's into this.
508
00:28:20,351 --> 00:28:22,876
- What the hell?
- Gah!
509
00:28:24,964 --> 00:28:27,576
Kelvin, I never... I-It
was Allison's idea!
510
00:28:27,619 --> 00:28:29,709
I never get to be
one of the boys!
511
00:28:30,927 --> 00:28:32,103
Wait, what?
512
00:28:32,145 --> 00:28:34,105
Nobody invites me anywhere!
513
00:28:34,147 --> 00:28:35,975
People forget that
behind the grandeur
514
00:28:36,020 --> 00:28:38,152
of "regional director
of installation,"
515
00:28:38,195 --> 00:28:40,459
I'm just a man.
516
00:28:40,501 --> 00:28:42,678
A man who likes the
simple things in life.
517
00:28:42,722 --> 00:28:44,549
Like shotgunning
brewskies with guys
518
00:28:44,592 --> 00:28:47,422
who slightly resemble Tom Brady.
519
00:28:47,465 --> 00:28:49,990
He's my fourth cousin.
520
00:28:50,033 --> 00:28:52,210
Sure he is, bro.
521
00:28:52,252 --> 00:28:54,472
I knew you were
gonna be a good time.
522
00:28:54,515 --> 00:28:56,016
That's why I made sure
Brenda invited you.
523
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,606
She didn't.
524
00:28:57,649 --> 00:28:58,651
She didn't invite me.
525
00:28:58,694 --> 00:29:00,392
Aw. Damn Brenda!
526
00:29:00,434 --> 00:29:02,742
Doesn't think I can hang.
527
00:29:02,786 --> 00:29:03,829
What?
528
00:29:03,874 --> 00:29:06,832
Has she seen you do that?
529
00:29:06,876 --> 00:29:08,878
I'm so glad I made it.
530
00:29:08,922 --> 00:29:13,447
And now that the party's
finally getting good, thank God.
531
00:29:13,492 --> 00:29:14,816
Why don't you join
us in the backyard?
532
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,842
We can do another beer
bong hit out there.
533
00:29:16,886 --> 00:29:19,411
Uh, you think we can do it
with a nice Pinot this time?
534
00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:20,673
Sure.
535
00:29:43,869 --> 00:29:45,349
Mm.
536
00:30:14,683 --> 00:30:15,902
Everyone!
537
00:30:15,945 --> 00:30:17,207
Everyone!
538
00:30:17,251 --> 00:30:18,686
Listen up!
539
00:30:18,731 --> 00:30:21,080
This has truly been
my best party yet!
540
00:30:22,473 --> 00:30:23,867
Happy anniversary!
541
00:30:23,909 --> 00:30:25,868
Oh. Is it somebody's
anniversary?
542
00:30:25,912 --> 00:30:29,262
Congrats! Thank you!
543
00:30:29,307 --> 00:30:31,438
But I also wanna use my party
544
00:30:31,482 --> 00:30:35,617
to share some news about
a life-changing move.
545
00:30:35,661 --> 00:30:37,315
Where's Allison?
546
00:30:37,357 --> 00:30:38,682
Can we get Allison up
here? There she is.
547
00:30:38,706 --> 00:30:39,838
Come here, babe.
548
00:30:41,753 --> 00:30:44,670
Come on up. Yeah,
up here. Come on.
549
00:30:44,713 --> 00:30:47,541
Uh, we both want to thank
you all for coming, uh,
550
00:30:47,586 --> 00:30:50,067
but especially Mr. Harrison.
551
00:30:50,109 --> 00:30:52,503
Yeah. Terry.
552
00:30:52,547 --> 00:30:54,636
Because Terry has
just offered me
553
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,117
the opportunity of a lifetime.
554
00:30:57,161 --> 00:31:03,036
Terry is moving me over
from cable to fiber optics.
555
00:31:03,079 --> 00:31:04,732
So, you know what that means.
556
00:31:04,777 --> 00:31:06,560
No.Wait.
557
00:31:06,605 --> 00:31:08,520
Are you saying... Oh, yes, Neil.
558
00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:10,739
We decided we're staying.
559
00:31:10,782 --> 00:31:11,782
We did?
560
00:31:20,010 --> 00:31:22,098
I thought you said this
was from Pottery Barn.
561
00:31:32,761 --> 00:31:34,762
He's drunk. He's not
gonna remember this.
562
00:31:34,807 --> 00:31:37,327
We're going, we're going, we're
going, we're going, we're going.
563
00:31:42,858 --> 00:31:44,382
Ow! God!
564
00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:45,512
Crap! Mother eff...
565
00:31:45,557 --> 00:31:47,732
My God.Oh.
566
00:31:47,776 --> 00:31:49,560
Just swear.
567
00:31:49,604 --> 00:31:51,432
"Eff" is so much worse.
568
00:31:54,957 --> 00:31:56,568
You throwing a little
tantrum out here?
569
00:31:56,610 --> 00:31:58,743
Just getting some fresh air.
570
00:31:58,787 --> 00:32:00,571
Oh. And the mailbox
offended you.
571
00:32:02,138 --> 00:32:03,791
Oh.
572
00:32:03,836 --> 00:32:05,403
It's a party.
573
00:32:05,445 --> 00:32:06,751
Not death row.
574
00:32:09,886 --> 00:32:11,123
Do you ever think about
maybe trying to have
575
00:32:11,147 --> 00:32:13,759
just a little bit of fun?
576
00:32:13,801 --> 00:32:15,605
I'm not talking about
scoring crack or anything,
577
00:32:15,629 --> 00:32:20,243
but maybe indulge
in a hard seltzer?
578
00:32:20,287 --> 00:32:21,767
I don't feel like celebrating.
579
00:32:21,809 --> 00:32:24,596
Oh, right. Silly me.
580
00:32:24,638 --> 00:32:26,660
We're all in mourning 'cause
Barbie lost out on her.
581
00:32:26,684 --> 00:32:28,773
Dream House. It's
not about the house!
582
00:32:31,037 --> 00:32:33,605
I'm just s-so tired.
583
00:32:33,647 --> 00:32:36,173
Yeah. Who sleeps these days?
584
00:32:36,215 --> 00:32:38,217
Oh, Jesus, I mean mentally.
585
00:32:38,261 --> 00:32:41,003
Aren't you?
586
00:32:41,047 --> 00:32:42,614
I wake up, I go to the salon,
587
00:32:42,656 --> 00:32:44,025
I come home, I watch
a game with the guys.
588
00:32:44,049 --> 00:32:46,574
In between, there are
a few Dunkie's coffees
589
00:32:46,617 --> 00:32:48,140
and a pack of menthols.
590
00:32:48,184 --> 00:32:50,099
You're okay with that?
591
00:32:50,143 --> 00:32:51,990
Everyone knows what their
life's gonna look like in 10,
592
00:32:52,014 --> 00:32:54,320
20 years.
593
00:32:54,365 --> 00:32:58,020
Pretending things'll change is
how they sell washing machines.
594
00:32:58,063 --> 00:33:00,414
I'm just... I'm tired of trying.
595
00:33:02,721 --> 00:33:04,941
I feel like nothing
I do is ever enough.
596
00:33:07,159 --> 00:33:12,383
I really think if I could start
over and go somewhere else
597
00:33:12,425 --> 00:33:13,992
and just do everything
right this time,
598
00:33:14,037 --> 00:33:15,428
I can finally be
599
00:33:17,735 --> 00:33:21,043
like, done.
600
00:33:21,087 --> 00:33:22,696
Is that insane?
601
00:33:27,441 --> 00:33:30,270
You know how many people
come to my salon every week
602
00:33:30,313 --> 00:33:33,707
thinking a perm will
solve all their problems?
603
00:33:33,751 --> 00:33:36,059
I mean
604
00:33:36,101 --> 00:33:38,844
maybe you're insane,
605
00:33:38,886 --> 00:33:39,932
but you're not alone.
606
00:33:43,717 --> 00:33:47,417
Calling me crazy is the
nicest you ever been to me.
607
00:33:47,461 --> 00:33:48,984
You're welcome.
608
00:33:51,551 --> 00:33:54,425
But this isn't just a perm.
609
00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:57,036
I'm not giving up
on this. I can't.
610
00:33:57,079 --> 00:33:59,212
I can get Kevin to that
bank tomorrow morning.
611
00:33:59,255 --> 00:34:01,040
I-I don't care if he's still
612
00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:04,521
taking pulls off a
handle of tequila.
613
00:34:04,565 --> 00:34:07,741
I know it doesn't seem like it,
but I know how to work Kevin.
614
00:34:07,786 --> 00:34:09,570
He's capable of stuff.
615
00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:11,529
Like how I got him to
remember our anniversary.
616
00:34:11,572 --> 00:34:14,226
You just have to make him
think that it's his idea.
617
00:34:14,271 --> 00:34:15,315
You know? We can still...
618
00:34:15,358 --> 00:34:18,317
Jesus, Allison.
619
00:34:18,362 --> 00:34:19,666
What?
620
00:34:19,710 --> 00:34:22,496
Come on. Wake the hell up.
621
00:34:22,540 --> 00:34:25,108
There's no "we" in there.
622
00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:28,023
What the hell do you know?
623
00:34:28,067 --> 00:34:29,566
Nobody thinks that we're
leaving, but I promise you...
624
00:34:29,590 --> 00:34:31,157
The account's empty.
625
00:34:34,333 --> 00:34:36,771
What?
626
00:34:36,815 --> 00:34:40,340
The weekly savings thing.
627
00:34:40,384 --> 00:34:43,777
It's gone.
628
00:34:43,822 --> 00:34:45,146
That's not possible,
'cause I was there
629
00:34:45,170 --> 00:34:47,956
when we opened the account.
630
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,221
Like 10 years ago, and then you
let himkeep track of the money.
631
00:34:51,264 --> 00:34:53,483
'Cause I'm bad with money.
632
00:34:53,527 --> 00:34:56,181
You think he's better?
633
00:34:56,226 --> 00:34:57,965
Come on. How many times a week
634
00:34:58,009 --> 00:34:59,489
does a package
come to this house?
635
00:34:59,532 --> 00:35:00,814
All you gotta do
is pay attention.
636
00:35:00,838 --> 00:35:02,362
He wouldn't go
into that account.
637
00:35:05,148 --> 00:35:07,585
A few years ago, he
got into some hot water
638
00:35:07,628 --> 00:35:11,501
trading fake sports memorabilia.
639
00:35:11,545 --> 00:35:15,679
He asked Neil for money,
who of course came to me.
640
00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:18,335
He said you have nothing.
641
00:35:21,641 --> 00:35:26,299
But we were gonna
leave... start over.
642
00:35:26,342 --> 00:35:28,692
He said that things
were gonna change.
643
00:35:36,179 --> 00:35:38,746
They were never gonna change.
644
00:35:41,661 --> 00:35:43,186
They're never gonna change.
645
00:35:50,628 --> 00:35:51,585
Oh.
646
00:35:51,628 --> 00:35:54,413
I'm sorry.
647
00:35:54,458 --> 00:35:56,067
Fuck!
648
00:36:43,462 --> 00:36:45,291
Gah!
649
00:36:50,253 --> 00:36:53,038
That's littering, sweetie.
650
00:36:53,081 --> 00:36:54,387
You can get in trouble for that.
651
00:37:07,357 --> 00:37:10,708
I'm a bad driver.
I've accepted that.
652
00:37:10,750 --> 00:37:13,623
I'm a bad driver with
split ends and an overbite.
653
00:37:17,715 --> 00:37:20,500
Ah.
654
00:37:20,543 --> 00:37:22,458
When my husband's in the
car with me, he says,
655
00:37:22,501 --> 00:37:25,375
"Oh, you shouldn't
drive so slow.
656
00:37:25,418 --> 00:37:27,135
Oh, don't let so many people
pull out in front of you.
657
00:37:27,159 --> 00:37:30,728
Uh, you should use
your horn more."
658
00:37:30,771 --> 00:37:32,076
I get nervous behind the wheel,
659
00:37:32,119 --> 00:37:34,427
and driving's all
about confidence.
660
00:37:34,471 --> 00:37:37,561
So, that's why I'm
not a good driver.
661
00:37:37,603 --> 00:37:38,866
I'm a bad driver.
662
00:37:41,782 --> 00:37:45,177
But, you know,
I've been thinking.
663
00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:47,527
I've never been in an accident.
664
00:37:47,570 --> 00:37:50,965
And I can drive stick,
I can parallel park,
665
00:37:51,009 --> 00:37:52,750
I can merge, and, you know,
666
00:37:52,793 --> 00:37:56,884
I actually think that I
actually used to enjoy driving.
667
00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:01,498
Oh, I like this.
668
00:38:04,456 --> 00:38:06,764
But we have one car, and he
doesn't have to share it.
669
00:38:06,806 --> 00:38:08,547
He doesn't have
to share anything.
670
00:38:08,592 --> 00:38:10,288
He gets me all to himself,
671
00:38:10,333 --> 00:38:11,942
'cause I never went
back to school,
672
00:38:11,985 --> 00:38:13,572
and he says that's 'cause
I never finish things.
673
00:38:13,596 --> 00:38:16,599
But do I never finish things,
674
00:38:16,643 --> 00:38:18,992
or does he take them from me?
675
00:38:22,431 --> 00:38:24,737
Am I bad at driving, or
does he want the car?
676
00:38:27,045 --> 00:38:29,308
As long as I had this
thing... this just...
677
00:38:29,351 --> 00:38:31,962
Like, this image of what I...
678
00:38:32,005 --> 00:38:35,052
What we could be, I had
something to hope for.
679
00:38:35,096 --> 00:38:38,491
But now I try to picture
anything good, and...
680
00:38:45,454 --> 00:38:46,954
Like, what the hell
are you supposed to do
681
00:38:46,978 --> 00:38:48,434
if you can't close your
eyes and picture a future
682
00:38:48,458 --> 00:38:50,329
where everything's okay?
683
00:38:50,373 --> 00:38:52,112
Because dreaming's
useless with him around,
684
00:38:52,157 --> 00:38:55,378
so, what, do I just go numb?
685
00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:58,597
Oh, yeah, that'll happen.
That shit's real pure.
686
00:38:58,641 --> 00:39:01,558
What?
687
00:39:01,601 --> 00:39:02,949
No.
688
00:39:02,994 --> 00:39:04,996
You aren't listening.
689
00:39:05,038 --> 00:39:07,563
I'm a... I'm a customer,
690
00:39:07,607 --> 00:39:11,654
and you couldn't be bothered
just to pay attention?
691
00:39:11,697 --> 00:39:13,657
Is the sound of my voice
impossible to hear?
692
00:39:13,699 --> 00:39:16,616
'Cause if you're having trouble,
I can go louder, you dick!
693
00:39:16,659 --> 00:39:18,226
Aah!
694
00:39:18,270 --> 00:39:19,358
What the hell, lady?!
695
00:39:19,402 --> 00:39:20,967
Oh, my God.
696
00:39:21,012 --> 00:39:23,188
Oh, shit, Marcus, that
bitch bitch-slapped you.
697
00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:25,103
Oh, I am so sorry.
698
00:39:27,235 --> 00:39:29,020
No, you know what?
699
00:39:29,063 --> 00:39:31,152
I'm not sorry.
700
00:39:31,195 --> 00:39:32,806
The hell with that. I deserve...
701
00:39:32,849 --> 00:39:34,286
Oh! I'm sorry.
702
00:39:34,329 --> 00:39:36,244
Sorry.
703
00:39:36,288 --> 00:39:38,159
You should really ice that.
704
00:39:51,737 --> 00:39:54,306
Patty: Wow.
705
00:39:54,349 --> 00:39:56,177
Kevin thought you
were out for a run.
706
00:39:56,221 --> 00:39:58,831
What the hell have
you been doing?
707
00:39:58,875 --> 00:40:01,444
Um, I was sort of running.
708
00:40:01,487 --> 00:40:03,096
Why are we talking like this?
709
00:40:03,141 --> 00:40:04,771
Kevin's in the kitchen.
He's gonna surprise you.
710
00:40:04,795 --> 00:40:07,101
With what?
711
00:40:07,145 --> 00:40:09,451
Hold on.
712
00:40:09,494 --> 00:40:11,061
Oh.
713
00:40:11,105 --> 00:40:13,237
Oh. Caught me.
714
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,326
I, uh, had a bit
of a rough morning
715
00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:17,721
and I needed a few
jelly Munchkins.
716
00:40:18,808 --> 00:40:23,248
So, um, did you tell him
I know about the account?
717
00:40:23,291 --> 00:40:25,380
Tell Kevin I ratted
him out? Come on.
718
00:40:25,424 --> 00:40:29,688
He had a feud with the mail
woman and got her deported.
719
00:40:29,733 --> 00:40:31,603
Yeah.
720
00:40:31,648 --> 00:40:33,344
That's why you waited
years to tell me?
721
00:40:36,347 --> 00:40:37,828
Hey.
722
00:40:39,655 --> 00:40:42,222
Are you okay?
723
00:40:42,266 --> 00:40:44,400
I have no idea.
724
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:52,058
Uh... babe, I'm
sorry I passed out
725
00:40:52,103 --> 00:40:54,322
in your rose bushes last night.
726
00:40:54,366 --> 00:40:56,933
We don't have rose bushes.
727
00:40:56,976 --> 00:40:58,500
Well, where'd you pass out?
728
00:40:58,543 --> 00:41:01,112
'Cause you look
729
00:41:01,154 --> 00:41:03,505
wonderful.
730
00:41:03,549 --> 00:41:06,246
Very quick. I think
she bought it.
731
00:41:06,291 --> 00:41:07,945
This looks fun.
732
00:41:07,987 --> 00:41:10,425
Yeah, well, I know I had
too much liquor last night,
733
00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:13,516
and when I woke up with
rose thorns in my tongue,
734
00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:15,431
I realized you're right.
735
00:41:15,474 --> 00:41:17,389
It's time to grow
up. I gotta change.
736
00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:20,565
So, no more Anniversa-ragers.
737
00:41:20,610 --> 00:41:24,483
Wow. I decided that we
should celebrate your way,
738
00:41:24,527 --> 00:41:26,353
do what you wanted
this whole time...
739
00:41:26,398 --> 00:41:28,052
A boring dinner.
A grown-up dinner!
740
00:41:28,094 --> 00:41:29,967
A grown-up dinner.
741
00:41:30,009 --> 00:41:32,186
In the morning.
742
00:41:32,230 --> 00:41:34,145
Wait. If this is dinner,
743
00:41:34,188 --> 00:41:37,190
that means beers are fair game.
744
00:41:37,235 --> 00:41:41,152
Neil, ideas like that are
why I keep you around.
745
00:41:41,195 --> 00:41:44,764
Allison, you mind?
746
00:41:44,808 --> 00:41:47,201
And, babe, uh, about moving?
747
00:41:47,244 --> 00:41:49,203
You know, that money
in the bank is...
748
00:41:49,246 --> 00:41:52,032
It's only gonna grow, and if
you pick up a few more shifts
749
00:41:52,076 --> 00:41:54,121
at the package store,
we're gonna be able to move
750
00:41:54,165 --> 00:41:56,384
wherever your little
heart desires.
751
00:41:56,427 --> 00:41:59,431
What Allison wants,
Allison gets.
752
00:42:16,143 --> 00:42:17,797
Shit, Kevin!
753
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,233
Kevin! What did you do?!
754
00:42:38,904 --> 00:42:41,038
What?
755
00:42:41,081 --> 00:42:43,518
You... broke it.
756
00:42:46,608 --> 00:42:49,175
Whoa! Ms. Hercules over here!
757
00:42:50,308 --> 00:42:51,657
Is that blood?
758
00:42:51,701 --> 00:42:53,224
It doesn't mean you
get to be moody.
759
00:42:53,266 --> 00:42:55,139
You already used that
excuse once this month.
760
00:42:57,489 --> 00:42:58,837
I'll be fine.
761
00:42:58,882 --> 00:43:01,188
Honey, go bandage that hand.
762
00:43:01,232 --> 00:43:03,016
We still got dinner
at breakfast,
763
00:43:03,059 --> 00:43:05,192
and I can't wait to see
what you're gonna cook.
764
00:43:28,128 --> 00:43:30,608
On the next "Kevin
Can Himself"...
765
00:43:30,652 --> 00:43:33,742
I'm the gift that
keeps on giving, baby.
766
00:43:33,786 --> 00:43:36,136
- That's crazy.
- That's marriage.
767
00:43:37,529 --> 00:43:39,574
You blew up my life.
Was that just for fun?
768
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,054
I felt sorry for you.
769
00:43:42,186 --> 00:43:43,882
I actually wanted to talk.
770
00:43:43,927 --> 00:43:45,145
To me?
771
00:43:45,188 --> 00:43:46,625
How did you do it?
772
00:43:46,668 --> 00:43:49,105
I killed him with oxycodone,
and made it look like an OD.
773
00:43:49,148 --> 00:43:50,148
Yeah!
53172
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