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1
00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:05,173
[music playing]
2
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:42,099
[music - "carol of the bells"]
3
00:01:52,095 --> 00:01:53,805
Ah, Christmas.
4
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,483
Yeah, that time of year again.
5
00:01:55,557 --> 00:01:57,067
Oh, it's my favorite
time of the year.
6
00:01:57,142 --> 00:01:58,082
I love it.
7
00:01:58,159 --> 00:01:59,479
I know what you mean.
8
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,953
It's like the whole world
takes on a kind of a glow,
9
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,492
you know?
10
00:02:03,565 --> 00:02:05,275
Like everything
you see and hear,
11
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:09,158
taste and smell says, it's a
very special season, the kind
12
00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:11,497
of season to maybe just
take a little time,
13
00:02:11,573 --> 00:02:13,083
show a little love
for everybody,
14
00:02:13,158 --> 00:02:15,418
to all your fellow men,
because it's Christmas.
15
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,127
[chuckles]
16
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,293
[tires squealing]
17
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:18,630
Hey!
18
00:02:18,705 --> 00:02:20,545
Hey, you jerk, what do you
think you're doing here?
19
00:02:20,624 --> 00:02:21,974
What are-- you
don't own the road!
20
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,132
Part of it's mine, you know?
21
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:24,260
- Mark, Mark, Mark.
- Jerk!
22
00:02:24,336 --> 00:02:25,836
- Mark.
- What?
23
00:02:25,921 --> 00:02:28,141
Christmas, remember?
24
00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:29,305
I know that.
25
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:39,890
Oh, excuse me.
26
00:02:39,968 --> 00:02:40,978
I'm looking for Mr. Burke.
We're the temps.
27
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:42,281
PAUL BURKE: The temps!
28
00:02:42,354 --> 00:02:45,664
[laugh] Great, there
is a God in heaven.
29
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:46,952
Come on in.
30
00:02:47,025 --> 00:02:48,465
Thank you.
31
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,245
Hi, I'm Paul Burke.
32
00:02:53,332 --> 00:02:55,082
This is my junior
partner, Matty Burke.
33
00:02:55,158 --> 00:02:56,628
How ya doin', junior partner.
34
00:02:56,701 --> 00:02:57,731
I'm Jonathan Smith.
35
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:58,291
This is Mark Gordon.
36
00:02:58,370 --> 00:02:59,470
Here's our resumes.
37
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,416
Smith, Gordon.
38
00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,668
Smith, you're the
attorney, and Gordon,
39
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,050
you're the investigator.
40
00:03:06,127 --> 00:03:09,797
15 years Oakland
PD, last three years
41
00:03:09,881 --> 00:03:13,731
you've been freelancing in
human resource development?
42
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,492
Yeah.
43
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,562
PAUL BURKE: Been a while since
you practiced law, Smith?
44
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:20,229
Yeah, it's been
a little while.
45
00:03:20,308 --> 00:03:22,818
How are you on Santa Claus?
46
00:03:22,894 --> 00:03:23,864
Santa Claus?
47
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,607
Yeah, I want to
take Matty down
48
00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:27,779
to Newman's to meet the fat
man, you know what I mean?
49
00:03:27,857 --> 00:03:31,697
And, uh, I have to appear
before a crotchety judge.
50
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,408
So what I was thinking
was that you guys
51
00:03:34,489 --> 00:03:36,459
would come on down
with us, keep an eye
52
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,083
on Matty until I get back.
53
00:03:38,159 --> 00:03:39,509
What do you say?
54
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:40,706
No problem.
55
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:41,807
PAUL BURKE: Great.
56
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,458
You follow me over
with your car.
57
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:45,550
[buzz]
58
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,925
WOMAN (ON INTERCOM): Mr. Burke,
I've got your ex on the line.
59
00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:48,933
Oh, right.
60
00:03:49,004 --> 00:03:50,394
Uh, OK.
61
00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:53,183
One minute-- I got a
little negotiation here.
62
00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:55,098
Uh, hi, Donna?
63
00:03:55,176 --> 00:03:56,886
Yeah, listen, I've run
into a little snag here.
64
00:03:56,970 --> 00:04:01,230
And I won't be able to get
Matty home until 8:00, OK?
65
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:04,398
Uh-- wait-- wait a minute.
66
00:04:04,477 --> 00:04:06,237
Slow down, will you?
67
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,033
Would you hold on
a minute, will you?
68
00:04:08,106 --> 00:04:12,076
What is the difference whether I
bring him home at 6:00 or 8:00?
69
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:12,986
Fine.
70
00:04:13,069 --> 00:04:14,119
Super.
71
00:04:14,195 --> 00:04:15,865
I just want you
to know one thing.
72
00:04:15,947 --> 00:04:18,037
I have Matty this Christmas.
73
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:19,366
I was going to bring
him by to see you,
74
00:04:19,451 --> 00:04:21,261
just as a little gesture.
75
00:04:20,803 --> 00:04:23,553
But if you insist on playing
this petty game with me,
76
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:26,795
you can forget about
seeing Matty on Christmas.
77
00:04:26,809 --> 00:04:28,469
Fine!
78
00:04:28,543 --> 00:04:30,263
I don't need to be at
Matty's birthday party.
79
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,521
We'll make our own party.
80
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,269
Let's go see Santa.
81
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,228
[music playing]
82
00:04:42,307 --> 00:04:45,447
[crowd murmuring]
83
00:04:51,274 --> 00:04:53,584
Gosh, look at the
size of that line.
84
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:55,990
Well, you better get a place
if you want to see Santa today.
85
00:04:56,071 --> 00:04:57,031
Right!
86
00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:01,059
Listen, Smith,
I hate to do this,
87
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,754
but I might have to leave
before he's finished.
88
00:05:02,827 --> 00:05:04,957
So you'd really be
doing me a favor if you
89
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,298
dropped Matty off at my ex's.
90
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:08,297
Sure, no problem.
91
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,635
Ever been married, Smith?
92
00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:11,588
Ah, once, a long time ago.
93
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:12,983
So you know what it's like.
94
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,428
CASHIER: Well, you
know, I think--
95
00:05:19,511 --> 00:05:21,121
[register beeping]
96
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:22,106
--I think the underwire
in that one would
97
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,609
hold up a lot better after--
98
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,605
Excuse me.
99
00:05:24,691 --> 00:05:25,601
I'm looking for the Santa thing.
100
00:05:25,675 --> 00:05:26,605
Could you tell me where?
101
00:05:26,684 --> 00:05:28,124
Right through that door.
102
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,065
Oh, thank you very much.
103
00:05:30,146 --> 00:05:31,366
The lace insert
on this would--
104
00:05:31,448 --> 00:05:32,708
Merry Christmas.
105
00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:44,528
You're number 28.
106
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,631
Have a seat and fill
that out, please.
107
00:05:46,704 --> 00:05:49,264
Oh, no, no, no, I'm just here
for the Santa thing, you know?
108
00:05:49,332 --> 00:05:50,342
This is it.
109
00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,504
Have a seat.
110
00:05:51,577 --> 00:05:52,727
No, no, I don't want a job.
111
00:05:52,803 --> 00:05:54,723
I just want to know
where Santa is.
112
00:05:54,796 --> 00:05:57,006
Well, you want the toy
department, third floor.
113
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,480
Oh, thank you.
114
00:06:01,853 --> 00:06:03,483
Well, old-time, I
hope you get the job.
115
00:06:03,555 --> 00:06:05,225
I already got it.
116
00:06:05,306 --> 00:06:06,906
I am Santa.
117
00:06:06,983 --> 00:06:09,783
But thanks for the kind wish.
118
00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:10,903
What's your name?
119
00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:12,573
Mark, Mark Gordon.
120
00:06:12,647 --> 00:06:13,777
Got it.
121
00:06:13,857 --> 00:06:17,027
I'm putting you on the list.
122
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,830
Right.
123
00:06:18,903 --> 00:06:20,873
Well, good luck.
124
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,917
All right, number 14, you
can get started right away.
125
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,382
Go into the back and
get fitted for a suit.
126
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,547
Oh, thanks, but
I brought my own.
127
00:06:31,374 --> 00:06:33,894
[imitating gunfire]
128
00:06:42,177 --> 00:06:44,227
Boy, trying to find a
parking place around here
129
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:45,194
is ridiculous.
130
00:06:45,263 --> 00:06:46,113
Tell me.
131
00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:47,669
Where's Burke?
132
00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,359
Oh, he had to take
off for that court date.
133
00:06:49,434 --> 00:06:51,704
Oh, it's rough being
a single parent, yeah.
134
00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:54,528
Really rough, it's
rough on all of them.
135
00:06:54,606 --> 00:06:56,566
That's the assignment, isn't it?
136
00:06:56,649 --> 00:06:57,819
Yeah, we got to
figure out a way
137
00:06:57,901 --> 00:06:59,161
to get the Burke's
to stop being lawyers
138
00:06:59,235 --> 00:07:02,075
and start being parents again.
139
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,745
And you'll get everything he
want come Christmas morning.
140
00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,974
You be a good little girl now.
141
00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:10,253
Well, children, Santa's going
to take just a little break,
142
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,920
and he'll be right back.
143
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,268
Hey, but I was next.
144
00:07:13,341 --> 00:07:16,231
And you'll be first in
line when Santa comes back.
145
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:19,263
Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!
146
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:22,889
Merry Christmas, ho, ho, ho!
147
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:24,607
What a gyp.
148
00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:26,023
He's probably going back
to the hit the bottle.
149
00:07:26,095 --> 00:07:30,015
That's what they get to play
Santa, a bunch of old drunks.
150
00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:31,939
But he isn't Santa, isn't he?
151
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:34,738
Yeah, I bet you believe
in the tooth fairy too.
152
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:38,446
I ain't waiting for that bum.
153
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:42,575
Oh, boy, am I glad
my shift is over.
154
00:07:42,654 --> 00:07:44,624
This is worse than
dinner theater.
155
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:46,917
Listen, if the kid doesn't
know what he wants,
156
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,915
the manager wants you to
push the machine guns.
157
00:07:48,993 --> 00:07:51,543
There's a pile of them
right next to the chair.
158
00:07:51,621 --> 00:07:54,921
They want Santa to
push machine guns?
159
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:58,803
Well, machine guns, machetes,
grenades, the whole arsenal.
160
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:00,478
Oh, and don't take too
much time with them,
161
00:08:00,555 --> 00:08:01,925
and keep them moving.
162
00:08:02,006 --> 00:08:03,926
I've been at
this a while, Fred.
163
00:08:04,008 --> 00:08:05,518
I think I can handle it.
164
00:08:05,593 --> 00:08:06,653
Good luck.
165
00:08:17,021 --> 00:08:21,571
This Christmas, ask me
about becoming a member
166
00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:24,581
of the exterminator team?
167
00:08:24,654 --> 00:08:27,414
What kind of Christmas is that?
168
00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:29,330
[grunting]
169
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,839
[laughter]
170
00:08:33,329 --> 00:08:34,389
Who's next?
171
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,813
Me, I guess.
172
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,186
[groans]
173
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:43,063
You forgot to say ho-ho-ho.
174
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:46,639
Well, I don't feel
particularly jolly when I
175
00:08:46,718 --> 00:08:50,268
see a bunch of junk like that.
176
00:08:50,346 --> 00:08:52,396
Well, what's your name, sonny.
177
00:08:52,473 --> 00:08:53,653
Matty Burke.
178
00:08:53,725 --> 00:08:55,355
I don't know if I've
been good or not.
179
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:56,685
How come, Matty?
180
00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:59,699
Because everybody's mad
all the time, even you.
181
00:08:59,781 --> 00:09:02,911
Oh, I'm not mad, Matty.
182
00:09:02,984 --> 00:09:04,994
Just a little ticked
off when I see
183
00:09:05,069 --> 00:09:07,409
what they're doing
to Christmas, what
184
00:09:07,488 --> 00:09:10,748
they're trying to do to me.
185
00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:17,835
Oh, but Matty, I have been
watching you all year.
186
00:09:17,915 --> 00:09:20,755
And let me tell you,
you're trying to be good,
187
00:09:20,835 --> 00:09:25,925
you're trying to do better,
and that's what counts.
188
00:09:26,007 --> 00:09:28,067
You want to tell
Santa what you want?
189
00:09:31,512 --> 00:09:34,202
Oh, Matty that's a--
190
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,824
kind of rugged.
191
00:09:35,892 --> 00:09:39,242
Wouldn't you like something
the elves can paint?
192
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:42,322
Uh-uh, that's what I want.
193
00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:46,538
Well, son, I won't lie to you.
194
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,080
Santa doesn't lie.
195
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:54,495
I can't promise you that I
can get you what you want.
196
00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:56,587
But I'll work on it.
197
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:57,553
Fair enough?
198
00:09:57,622 --> 00:09:58,762
Fair enough.
199
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,551
Aw.
200
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:06,426
And Merry Christmas.
201
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:09,766
Santa, can I have
a word with you?
202
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:11,182
You'll have to stand in line.
203
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:13,024
These kids are first.
204
00:10:13,096 --> 00:10:17,226
I am Mr Grinchley,
the manager.
205
00:10:17,308 --> 00:10:20,608
Who authorized you to
take down that sign?
206
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,857
And who authorized
you to use my name
207
00:10:22,939 --> 00:10:26,449
to push a bunch of machine guns
so kids could play like they're
208
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:27,916
killing each other?
209
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:30,754
Does that sound like
Christmas to you?
210
00:10:30,822 --> 00:10:33,792
It sounds like business to me.
211
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:38,706
Well, we've got the whole
problem there, haven't we, Bob?
212
00:10:38,788 --> 00:10:40,918
Christmas isn't supposed
to be a business.
213
00:10:40,998 --> 00:10:43,468
It's supposed to be a spirit.
214
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,263
And you guys are using
it and me to cram
215
00:10:46,337 --> 00:10:50,307
these kids heads full
of hate and violence,
216
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,683
instead of peace and love.
217
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,690
And it's ticking old Santa off.
218
00:10:54,762 --> 00:10:56,702
You guys want to make
a buck, go ahead.
219
00:10:56,773 --> 00:10:59,953
But don't you use Santa
to be a gunrunner for you.
220
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,736
You catch my drift, Grinchley?
221
00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:04,492
You're fired.
222
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,574
Take off that suit.
223
00:11:06,649 --> 00:11:08,659
This suit was made
for me by my missus,
224
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,415
so get your mitts off it.
225
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:14,455
And you can't fire me 'cause
I didn't get the job from you.
226
00:11:14,532 --> 00:11:17,882
I got it from the boss upstairs.
227
00:11:17,952 --> 00:11:22,172
I am the boss from upstairs.
228
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:24,378
SANTA: No, you're not.
229
00:11:24,459 --> 00:11:27,049
You're just little
Billy Grinchley.
230
00:11:27,128 --> 00:11:29,138
And you're the same
brat now you were
231
00:11:29,213 --> 00:11:31,853
40 years ago, only
now you're not just
232
00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:33,814
picking on your little brother.
233
00:11:33,885 --> 00:11:37,815
You're messing with
the fat man now!
234
00:11:37,897 --> 00:11:43,567
Children, all of
this isn't Christmas.
235
00:11:43,644 --> 00:11:47,294
Christmas doesn't belong
to any department store.
236
00:11:47,365 --> 00:11:49,695
It belongs to you.
237
00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:52,986
It's what you feel
in your heart.
238
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:58,080
And you can't get that
with a credit card.
239
00:11:58,159 --> 00:12:01,009
[applause]
240
00:12:04,373 --> 00:12:05,263
Wee!
241
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:07,587
[laughter]
242
00:12:07,668 --> 00:12:09,208
Ha!
243
00:12:09,287 --> 00:12:12,047
That's the-- the only thing
around here that's kind of fun.
244
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:14,021
You got the right
spirit, old-timer.
245
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,030
Listen, I think
you got a bum deal.
246
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:19,732
[laughs] That turkey
thinks he can fire me.
247
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,176
Listen, my partner's
an attorney, right?
248
00:12:21,258 --> 00:12:23,398
He's on another
assignment right now.
249
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,976
Here's our card.
250
00:12:25,052 --> 00:12:26,072
If you want to fight to
try to get your job back,
251
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:28,695
maybe, I mean maybe
we can help you.
252
00:12:28,773 --> 00:12:31,453
Well, that's very nice of you.
253
00:12:31,526 --> 00:12:32,606
Don't mention it.
254
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:33,285
We'll see you later.
255
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,300
[doorbell]
256
00:12:42,203 --> 00:12:43,833
Hey, Mommy.
257
00:12:43,904 --> 00:12:45,174
Oh, Matty, darling, I was
beginning to wonder about you.
258
00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:46,058
It's past 6:00.
259
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:47,422
Mrs. Burke, I'm
Jonathan Smith.
260
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,300
I work for your husband.
261
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,766
He asked if we--
262
00:12:49,844 --> 00:12:51,444
OK, so he couldn't even
bring him by himself?
263
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:54,813
Look, you tell Mr Burke
that the next time he--
264
00:12:54,882 --> 00:12:57,062
[sighs] What's the use?
265
00:12:57,134 --> 00:13:00,064
Matty, darling, Maria's
going to give you dinner.
266
00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:02,097
Mommy has an important meeting.
267
00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:03,521
But when I get home,
I'm going to come
268
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:04,569
in and kiss you goodnight.
269
00:13:04,642 --> 00:13:06,942
And I'll see you tomorrow, OK?
270
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,783
Mommy, I saw Santa today!
271
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,006
You did?
272
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:11,981
Well, that's great.
273
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,698
Now you hurry up and go wash up.
274
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,371
JONATHAN SMITH: Mr Burke?
275
00:13:16,445 --> 00:13:17,785
Yes.
276
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,184
I know it's none
of my business.
277
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:20,396
But if you knew you
were going to be out,
278
00:13:20,475 --> 00:13:22,155
wouldn't it have been
better for the boy
279
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:23,084
to have dinner with his
father instead of with me?
280
00:13:26,747 --> 00:13:28,767
You're right, Mr Smith.
281
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:31,472
It's none of your business.
282
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:32,474
[bells jingling]
283
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:36,055
[music playing]
284
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:49,282
[groans] Pat, do
you have any aspirin?
285
00:13:49,353 --> 00:13:51,993
You bet.
286
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:54,574
Starting the day off
with a smile, huh?
287
00:13:54,650 --> 00:13:56,450
Oh, I don't believe my ex.
288
00:13:56,527 --> 00:13:59,247
She's taking me back
to court over my kid.
289
00:13:59,322 --> 00:14:02,672
She's filed a motion that says,
for his emotional stability,
290
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:06,002
it's better that he should
spend Christmas with his mother.
291
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:07,748
I don't believe that--
292
00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:09,010
where's Smith, Gordon?
293
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,261
I want them to take
some of the load off
294
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:12,143
so I can find something
that I can nail
295
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,468
the former Mrs. Burke with.
296
00:14:14,545 --> 00:14:18,055
They're in the conference
room with a client.
297
00:14:18,132 --> 00:14:19,522
A client?
They're temps.
298
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,182
They don't have clients.
299
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:22,352
Yeah, maybe you ought
to tell them that.
300
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,548
It'll probably get
them off the hook.
301
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:26,160
They've got a real dilly from
off the streets in there.
302
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:27,982
What are you talking about?
303
00:14:28,059 --> 00:14:32,279
Does the phrase
ho-ho-ho ring a bell?
304
00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:36,065
I'll tell you, it makes
me so mad I could spit.
305
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:38,200
Morning, Smith, Gordon.
306
00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:40,237
Mr Burke.
307
00:14:40,321 --> 00:14:42,371
And you are?
308
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,538
Santa Claus.
309
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,497
The Santa Claus?
310
00:14:46,577 --> 00:14:49,087
Kind of awesome, ain't it?
311
00:14:49,163 --> 00:14:51,883
In Bermuda shorts
and a Hawaiian shirt?
312
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,092
This is LA, kid.
313
00:14:53,167 --> 00:14:55,377
It's 85 degrees out there.
314
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:58,051
You get a little
sticky in red flannels.
315
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,560
JONATHAN SMITH: This, uh--
this gentleman was employed
316
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,993
as a department store Santa.
317
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,418
He objected to the
use of Santa Claus
318
00:15:03,494 --> 00:15:05,984
to help promote the
sale of machine guns.
319
00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:08,895
And commando knives
and flamethrowers.
320
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:10,979
Flamethrowers!
321
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:15,740
They want Father Christmas to
help them haul flamethrowers.
322
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:18,365
By golly, it'll be
a frosty day in--
323
00:15:18,442 --> 00:15:21,452
Uh, when he objected,
they canned him.
324
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,703
And now he wants us to help
him get his job back, right?
325
00:15:23,781 --> 00:15:25,831
MARK GORDON: Well, yeah,
that's kind of the idea, yeah.
326
00:15:25,908 --> 00:15:29,458
Not the idea, that's
not the idea at all.
327
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:31,087
I don't need the job.
328
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:32,593
I've got the job.
329
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,215
I've had it for 100 years.
330
00:15:35,292 --> 00:15:38,842
They can't take diddly
squat away from me.
331
00:15:38,921 --> 00:15:42,431
But what they can do
is take Christmas,
332
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:45,938
the spirit of Christmas,
away from their children.
333
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:48,942
What are you gonna do,
buzz them in your sleigh?
334
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:53,779
[chuckles] It's just
a little joke, Santa.
335
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,653
Look, I'm a busy man.
336
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:57,240
Give my love to the elves.
337
00:15:57,314 --> 00:15:59,284
I'll leave some cookies
for you by the fireplace.
338
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:02,628
But I got to go prepare a
brief against my ex-wife.
339
00:16:02,704 --> 00:16:05,794
SANTA: Those guys over at
Newman's are using my likeness
340
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,285
without authorization.
341
00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:09,706
And if that isn't an
invasion of privacy,
342
00:16:09,785 --> 00:16:11,995
I don't know reindeer
from bean dip.
343
00:16:12,079 --> 00:16:12,969
Wait, wait, wait a second.
344
00:16:13,047 --> 00:16:14,297
Those guys where?
345
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:18,593
At Newman's department
store, that's where.
346
00:16:18,669 --> 00:16:22,679
Mr. Claus, consider yourself
represented by counsel.
347
00:16:22,757 --> 00:16:25,217
Smith, Gordon, I want you to
drop everything else you're
348
00:16:25,301 --> 00:16:27,531
doing, and I want you
to devote full time
349
00:16:27,603 --> 00:16:31,653
to the case of Claus versus
Newman's Department Stores,
350
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,864
Inc.
351
00:16:34,935 --> 00:16:36,445
We'd be happy to, Mr. Burke.
352
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,649
But do you mind telling me
why he changed your mind?
353
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,275
Mrs. Burke.
354
00:16:41,358 --> 00:16:42,158
Mrs. Burke?
355
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,405
[music playing]
356
00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:46,656
The lovely ex Mrs. Burke,
who just happens to be
357
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:50,749
chief corporate counsel for
Newman's Department Stores,
358
00:16:50,826 --> 00:16:53,886
Inc. [laugh]
359
00:17:07,051 --> 00:17:07,931
John.
360
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:09,310
Hmm?
361
00:17:09,386 --> 00:17:12,186
Is this is guy Santa Claus?
362
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:14,624
I mean, he isn't really.
363
00:17:14,692 --> 00:17:15,822
Is he?
364
00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:17,273
I can't tell.
365
00:17:17,345 --> 00:17:18,525
What do you mean
you can't tell?
366
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:19,714
You're an angel.
367
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,069
I mean, I can't tell.
368
00:17:21,148 --> 00:17:22,158
I'm his lawyer.
369
00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:23,453
He told me who he is in private.
370
00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:25,156
I can't divulge that
kind of information.
371
00:17:25,236 --> 00:17:27,446
It's-- it's like part of
lawyer-client privilege.
372
00:17:27,530 --> 00:17:29,300
Oh, that's cute, John, cute.
373
00:17:35,246 --> 00:17:36,246
Let's get it in gear.
374
00:17:36,330 --> 00:17:38,010
What do you say?
375
00:17:38,082 --> 00:17:39,102
Here we go.
376
00:17:41,919 --> 00:17:45,179
Ladies and gentlemen, we've
call this press conference
377
00:17:45,256 --> 00:17:47,466
today to announce
certain legal actions
378
00:17:47,550 --> 00:17:50,850
that have been filed with the
court on behalf of our client.
379
00:17:50,928 --> 00:17:52,698
My name is Jonathan Smith.
380
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,390
I'm here on behalf of
the attorney of record,
381
00:17:54,465 --> 00:18:00,025
Mr. Paul Burke, who represents
our client, Santa Claus.
382
00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:01,494
This is a joke, right?
383
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:03,374
JONATHAN SMITH: Well, not
as far as we're concerned.
384
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,449
We have this day
requested that the court
385
00:18:05,526 --> 00:18:07,826
issue an injunctive order
against Newman's Department
386
00:18:07,903 --> 00:18:10,873
Store, Incorporated,
demanding that they cease
387
00:18:10,948 --> 00:18:13,578
and desist from using our
client's name and likeness
388
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:17,039
in the promotion of
products and values
389
00:18:17,121 --> 00:18:20,131
that are contrary to
the spirit of peace,
390
00:18:20,207 --> 00:18:24,547
love, and goodwill toward all--
391
00:18:24,628 --> 00:18:28,098
the very essence of Christmas.
392
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:32,564
Santa is ready to take
your questions now.
393
00:18:32,636 --> 00:18:33,476
Hi.
394
00:18:33,554 --> 00:18:36,024
Is this a publicity stunt?
395
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:38,358
I don't need any
publicity, son.
396
00:18:38,434 --> 00:18:41,614
I'm pretty well known as
it is, don't you think?
397
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,317
[laughter]
398
00:18:43,397 --> 00:18:45,447
What do you hope
to gain by all this?
399
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:46,604
Gain?
400
00:18:46,676 --> 00:18:49,236
I don't hope to gain anything.
401
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,830
Gain isn't my business.
402
00:18:51,906 --> 00:18:55,966
Giving is, the spirit of giving.
403
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:57,673
And nobody has to gain it.
404
00:18:57,745 --> 00:19:01,505
All you got to do is
give, and you got it.
405
00:19:01,582 --> 00:19:03,222
And let me tell
you something else,
406
00:19:03,292 --> 00:19:05,182
while we're on the subject.
407
00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:08,762
I think all moms
and dads out there
408
00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:13,889
ought to take the money that
they would spend on one big toy
409
00:19:13,969 --> 00:19:18,939
and give that money to
charity, to cure a disease
410
00:19:19,016 --> 00:19:23,486
or clothe the homeless or
feed the hungry or brighten
411
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:27,782
some less fortunate
child's Christmas.
412
00:19:27,858 --> 00:19:29,828
And I think they ought
to tell their kids
413
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:34,002
that that's what they're
doing in their names out
414
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,537
of their love for them.
415
00:19:36,617 --> 00:19:40,337
Because that way, you
can give your kids
416
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:47,182
the most precious gift
of all, the gift giving.
417
00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,643
MAN (ON TV): --the LA Press
Club, where the opening salvos
418
00:19:49,713 --> 00:19:52,683
in the courtroom drama of Claus
versus Newman's Department
419
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,388
Store have just been
fired, by a man claiming
420
00:19:55,469 --> 00:19:57,439
to be Saint Nick himself.
421
00:19:57,513 --> 00:19:58,813
And from the
response he's gotten
422
00:19:58,889 --> 00:20:01,319
from some awfully
cynical reporters here,
423
00:20:01,392 --> 00:20:03,822
he might just be Santa at that.
424
00:20:03,894 --> 00:20:05,364
Back to you, Bart.
425
00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:07,907
Who the hell does
he think he is?
426
00:20:07,982 --> 00:20:10,662
Santa Claus, Mr. N-Newman.
427
00:20:10,734 --> 00:20:13,914
I know who he thinks he
is, Grinchley, you twit.
428
00:20:13,988 --> 00:20:15,618
I'm not talking about him.
429
00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:18,668
I'm talking about your
husband, Mrs. Burke.
430
00:20:18,742 --> 00:20:20,462
Who does that two-bit
shyster think he
431
00:20:20,536 --> 00:20:23,296
is filing suit against me
on behalf of that overweight
432
00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:24,862
mentally incompetent?
433
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,722
He's doing this to
get at me, Mr. Newman.
434
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:27,642
I know him.
435
00:20:27,718 --> 00:20:28,808
I know how his mind works.
436
00:20:28,886 --> 00:20:31,426
Well, that's where
you're wrong, Mrs. Burke.
437
00:20:31,505 --> 00:20:32,885
He's doing this to me.
438
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:37,935
And I suggest you do it to
him before I do it to you.
439
00:20:38,012 --> 00:20:39,402
With pleasure.
440
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:42,311
With pleasure.
441
00:20:42,391 --> 00:20:43,821
I would have
loved to have seen
442
00:20:43,892 --> 00:20:46,152
her face when that
press conference
443
00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:47,608
came on in their boardroom.
444
00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:49,308
[laughs]
445
00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:51,867
Paul, we're not doing
this to get at your wife.
446
00:20:51,942 --> 00:20:54,702
We're doing this to
do something positive.
447
00:20:54,778 --> 00:20:56,578
Nailing my ex-wife
is the most positive
448
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,325
thing that I can think of.
449
00:20:58,407 --> 00:20:59,917
[knocking]
450
00:21:01,035 --> 00:21:02,205
Excuse me, are you Mr. Burke?
451
00:21:02,286 --> 00:21:03,636
That's me.
452
00:21:03,713 --> 00:21:05,923
I have a singing
telegram for you, sir.
453
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:10,378
[tone] (SINGING) Oh, jingle
bells, your lawsuit smells.
454
00:21:10,461 --> 00:21:12,391
I've one more thing to say.
455
00:21:12,463 --> 00:21:14,263
This is a restraining order.
456
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:15,730
Stick it in your sleigh.
457
00:21:18,352 --> 00:21:20,022
This is for you, Santa.
458
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,859
Merry Christmas.
459
00:21:22,931 --> 00:21:23,781
Let me see that.
460
00:21:28,479 --> 00:21:34,199
Oh, the old wolverine
has fired back.
461
00:21:34,276 --> 00:21:35,576
Well, I'm due in court.
462
00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:37,491
We'll handle that
when I get back.
463
00:21:37,571 --> 00:21:38,701
Hang in there, Santa.
464
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,230
We've just begun to fight.
465
00:21:46,622 --> 00:21:49,552
What is that gobbledygook?
466
00:21:49,625 --> 00:21:51,295
Ah, it's a John Doe
restraining order.
467
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:54,297
What it says is, since
there is no Santa Claus,
468
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:56,150
since Santa Claus is
a mythical creation,
469
00:21:56,223 --> 00:21:58,523
you're hereby ordered to
cease and desist from posing
470
00:21:58,592 --> 00:22:00,772
as said mythic character.
471
00:22:00,844 --> 00:22:02,224
You're ordered to
cease and desist
472
00:22:02,296 --> 00:22:03,936
making any and all
statements concerning
473
00:22:04,014 --> 00:22:05,884
Newman's Department Store.
474
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:07,978
And until a hearing can be held
to make the order permanent,
475
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,400
you are enjoined from
wearing a red suit,
476
00:22:10,479 --> 00:22:13,699
saying ho-ho-ho, Merry
Christmas, or any and all
477
00:22:13,774 --> 00:22:15,154
other phrases
normally associated
478
00:22:15,226 --> 00:22:18,036
with the mythic character
known as Santa Claus.
479
00:22:18,112 --> 00:22:20,452
Is that legal, Jonathan?
480
00:22:20,531 --> 00:22:22,871
The judge signed it.
481
00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:26,460
It's legal, at least
until the hearing.
482
00:22:26,537 --> 00:22:28,207
I can't wear the suit?
483
00:22:28,288 --> 00:22:30,088
Can't say ho-ho-ho?
484
00:22:30,165 --> 00:22:34,335
Can't even wish anybody a Merry
Christmas, for goodness' sake?
485
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:39,260
What kind of goofball judge
would sign a thing like that.
486
00:22:39,341 --> 00:22:42,181
Judge Henry T. Clawson.
487
00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:44,055
He's off the list!
488
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:46,112
I'll tell you right now, boy.
489
00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:48,566
Old Hank could stick a mountain
of cookies by the fireplace,
490
00:22:48,642 --> 00:22:51,322
and they'll be selling air
conditioners at the North Pole
491
00:22:51,329 --> 00:22:52,279
before I--
492
00:22:52,354 --> 00:22:53,694
No, no, no, come on, now.
493
00:22:53,764 --> 00:22:55,054
Losing your temper
isn't going to help.
494
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:56,704
You can think this
is losing my temper?
495
00:22:56,775 --> 00:23:01,495
I'll show you what
losing my temper is!
496
00:23:01,572 --> 00:23:03,122
Where are you going?
497
00:23:03,198 --> 00:23:06,798
To Newman's Department Store!
498
00:23:06,877 --> 00:23:08,917
Look at this
beauty, boys and girl.
499
00:23:08,996 --> 00:23:10,336
How would you like
Santa to bring
500
00:23:10,414 --> 00:23:12,214
you this for Christmas, Johnny?
501
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:14,375
He wouldn't!
502
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:16,050
And you're not Santa.
503
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:17,678
You're a gunrunner.
504
00:23:17,754 --> 00:23:22,394
How dare-- that is
N-N-Newman property!
505
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:23,848
Well, it's my face and name.
506
00:23:23,927 --> 00:23:25,977
And get your finger
off my chest.
507
00:23:26,054 --> 00:23:27,864
Or what?
508
00:23:27,931 --> 00:23:28,991
Or that!
509
00:23:29,066 --> 00:23:29,896
Oh!
510
00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:30,935
And that!
511
00:23:30,952 --> 00:23:32,322
And that!
512
00:23:32,394 --> 00:23:34,324
And that!
513
00:23:34,396 --> 00:23:36,316
Ah!
514
00:23:36,398 --> 00:23:38,618
Arrest that man.
515
00:23:38,692 --> 00:23:41,792
[music playing]
516
00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:55,473
[sighs] What
happened to you, Spike?
517
00:23:55,542 --> 00:23:57,802
I got caught.
518
00:23:57,878 --> 00:23:59,338
What's it look like, pops?
519
00:23:59,421 --> 00:24:00,891
No, no, no, I
didn't mean that.
520
00:24:00,964 --> 00:24:04,734
I mean, what happened to you.
521
00:24:04,801 --> 00:24:07,731
You didn't start out a bad boy.
522
00:24:07,804 --> 00:24:09,154
You were a good kid.
523
00:24:09,223 --> 00:24:10,073
Yeah.
524
00:24:12,559 --> 00:24:14,899
How do you know?
525
00:24:14,978 --> 00:24:16,898
I remember.
526
00:24:16,980 --> 00:24:20,620
I remember a long time
ago, you must have
527
00:24:20,692 --> 00:24:23,702
been four or five years old.
528
00:24:23,779 --> 00:24:26,539
Your dad had run out on
you and your brothers.
529
00:24:26,615 --> 00:24:29,455
Your mother was doing
everything she could
530
00:24:29,535 --> 00:24:31,885
to hold the family together.
531
00:24:31,962 --> 00:24:36,472
And there wasn't any
money that year for toys.
532
00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:42,602
And you were all sad because
you couldn't buy a gift for her.
533
00:24:42,673 --> 00:24:44,193
You loved your ma, Spike.
534
00:24:47,427 --> 00:24:49,037
That was so long ago.
535
00:24:52,099 --> 00:24:56,609
I hadn't even thought
about her in years.
536
00:24:56,687 --> 00:25:00,747
She was the only one
who ever, ever loved me.
537
00:25:03,235 --> 00:25:04,495
After she died, I--
538
00:25:07,739 --> 00:25:09,579
how do you know?
539
00:25:09,658 --> 00:25:12,258
You did give
her a gift, Spike.
540
00:25:12,336 --> 00:25:14,256
Nah, there wasn't any money.
541
00:25:14,338 --> 00:25:17,668
SANTA: Oh, no, no, no, but this
was something more important
542
00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:20,629
than money, something
money can't buy, something
543
00:25:20,711 --> 00:25:23,551
they don't keep in safes.
544
00:25:23,630 --> 00:25:24,940
[music playing]
545
00:25:25,015 --> 00:25:29,475
She was there,
crying at the table.
546
00:25:29,553 --> 00:25:31,483
And you put your arm
around her and said,
547
00:25:31,555 --> 00:25:33,555
don't worry, Ma, I love you.
548
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,610
And I'm going to make
something out of myself.
549
00:25:35,684 --> 00:25:37,164
I'm going to make you proud.
550
00:25:39,730 --> 00:25:45,410
And she put her arm around
you and said, Theodore,
551
00:25:45,485 --> 00:25:46,745
you already have.
552
00:25:50,073 --> 00:25:51,303
Theodore.
553
00:25:53,827 --> 00:25:55,257
No one's called me that since--
554
00:25:58,749 --> 00:26:01,849
SANTA: What would she
think if she saw you today?
555
00:26:07,424 --> 00:26:10,394
It's not too late, my friend.
556
00:26:10,403 --> 00:26:12,523
It's up to you.
557
00:26:12,596 --> 00:26:17,976
This could be the first day
of a whole new life for you,
558
00:26:18,060 --> 00:26:23,360
or just another
day in the slammer.
559
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:24,330
It's up to you.
560
00:26:30,947 --> 00:26:34,827
My main man, the Claus.
561
00:26:34,910 --> 00:26:36,190
What is it, Clarence?
562
00:26:36,270 --> 00:26:38,500
CLARENCE: Visitation,
Claus-- your lawyer.
563
00:26:38,580 --> 00:26:39,640
Thanks.
564
00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:43,230
Think it over, Spike.
565
00:27:07,275 --> 00:27:09,325
So have you got that cat
burglar thinking you're
566
00:27:09,403 --> 00:27:10,623
really Santa?
567
00:27:10,696 --> 00:27:12,236
And you don't, Clarence?
568
00:27:12,314 --> 00:27:14,584
Hey, Claus, you're a nice old
guy, but you ain't no Santa.
569
00:27:14,658 --> 00:27:15,538
Trust me.
570
00:27:15,617 --> 00:27:16,747
I know.
571
00:27:16,827 --> 00:27:18,247
You sound pretty
sure of yourself.
572
00:27:18,328 --> 00:27:19,468
Yeah.
573
00:27:19,547 --> 00:27:20,747
Well, I got four
little ones to raise.
574
00:27:20,831 --> 00:27:22,591
How much you think a
jailer makers, huh?
575
00:27:22,666 --> 00:27:24,306
Not enough.
576
00:27:24,385 --> 00:27:26,255
How do you tell a five-year-old
he can't have that shiny train
577
00:27:26,336 --> 00:27:28,476
set he has his heart set
on, that there's just
578
00:27:28,555 --> 00:27:30,555
not enough money to go around?
579
00:27:30,632 --> 00:27:32,682
You think money
buys happiness?
580
00:27:32,759 --> 00:27:34,059
Well, if it
don't, you can sure
581
00:27:34,136 --> 00:27:35,596
pay unhappiness to stay away.
582
00:27:35,679 --> 00:27:36,489
[chuckles]
583
00:27:36,563 --> 00:27:38,563
Could be.
584
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,730
Are your children
healthy, Clarence?
585
00:27:40,809 --> 00:27:42,109
Knock wood.
586
00:27:42,185 --> 00:27:44,105
Well, I know a
lot of rich folks
587
00:27:44,187 --> 00:27:47,247
who would give all they have
and then some just to trade
588
00:27:47,324 --> 00:27:48,624
places with you.
589
00:27:48,692 --> 00:27:50,242
I'll tell you
one thing, my man.
590
00:27:50,318 --> 00:27:53,498
They wouldn't find no takers
with me on that bargain.
591
00:27:53,572 --> 00:27:55,122
I didn't think so, Clarence.
592
00:27:55,198 --> 00:27:59,838
Ah, but it still would be
fun to get my boy a train.
593
00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:02,795
We tried to get a hold of
Mr. Burke, but he was out.
594
00:28:02,873 --> 00:28:04,313
The first thing
tomorrow morning,
595
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:06,881
we're going to see if we
can get in front of a judge,
596
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,720
get you out on your
own recognizance.
597
00:28:08,795 --> 00:28:10,365
That's OK.
598
00:28:10,447 --> 00:28:14,887
I got a nice bed, a real
friendly fella named Clarence
599
00:28:14,968 --> 00:28:16,438
who takes good care of us.
600
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,110
I got some pretty decent
roommates, too, if I could
601
00:28:20,182 --> 00:28:23,482
just get them to see that.
602
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,290
One day more is no problem.
603
00:28:25,362 --> 00:28:27,192
Listen, I don't know
how to tell you this,
604
00:28:27,264 --> 00:28:31,414
but I don't think they're
going to let you out.
605
00:28:31,485 --> 00:28:32,865
But I got to get out.
606
00:28:32,944 --> 00:28:37,004
Christmas Eve is
only two days off.
607
00:28:37,073 --> 00:28:39,963
We'll do everything we can.
608
00:28:40,035 --> 00:28:42,745
And unfortunately, I think
it's partly my fault.
609
00:28:42,829 --> 00:28:44,349
We just let it get out of hand.
610
00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:46,011
I mean, this thing has
turned into a vendetta
611
00:28:46,016 --> 00:28:48,756
between Burke and his ex-wife.
612
00:28:48,835 --> 00:28:50,715
I know.
613
00:28:50,796 --> 00:28:53,306
You don't know how it pains me.
614
00:28:53,390 --> 00:28:55,470
MARK GORDON: Hey,
look, man, I don't
615
00:28:55,542 --> 00:28:57,732
know if you're Santa Claus or
if you are not Santa Claus,
616
00:28:57,803 --> 00:28:58,733
you know?
617
00:28:58,804 --> 00:29:00,104
But I do know a few things.
618
00:29:00,171 --> 00:29:02,361
And one of the
things that I know
619
00:29:02,366 --> 00:29:07,526
is that if you really are
Santa, you got the stuff.
620
00:29:07,538 --> 00:29:08,828
You know, the stuff.
621
00:29:08,906 --> 00:29:10,606
So why don't you
just use the stuff?
622
00:29:10,624 --> 00:29:12,274
And the next thing
you know, it's up,
623
00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:14,030
Donner, up, Blitzen,
you know what I mean?
624
00:29:14,110 --> 00:29:16,370
Mark, I can't do that.
625
00:29:16,446 --> 00:29:19,006
Well, sure you can,
if you got the stuff.
626
00:29:19,082 --> 00:29:21,042
And what kind of
an example would
627
00:29:21,117 --> 00:29:23,627
that set for the children?
628
00:29:23,703 --> 00:29:26,213
Santa busts out of jail.
629
00:29:26,289 --> 00:29:28,879
No, my friend, I'm
afraid you're just
630
00:29:28,959 --> 00:29:32,679
going to have to go into
court and prove to a judge
631
00:29:32,754 --> 00:29:34,764
that I'm Santa.
632
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,980
[music playing]
633
00:29:45,433 --> 00:29:47,193
Your honor, I must
protest counsel's
634
00:29:47,269 --> 00:29:49,989
cheap theatrical publicity
stunt of arranging for children
635
00:29:50,063 --> 00:29:51,703
to come down to
the precinct where
636
00:29:51,773 --> 00:29:53,403
he puts on some sort of a--
637
00:29:53,475 --> 00:29:54,655
Your honor, I didn't
arrange for anything.
638
00:29:54,734 --> 00:29:57,204
A reporter called for an
interview with my client.
639
00:29:57,279 --> 00:29:59,369
I simply told the man
where my client was,
640
00:29:59,447 --> 00:30:00,957
and I guess he did the rest.
641
00:30:01,032 --> 00:30:03,252
I hardly think it's in the
best interest of the children
642
00:30:03,326 --> 00:30:05,376
counsel purports to be so
concerned about to have them
643
00:30:05,453 --> 00:30:07,213
trooped down to the city jail.
644
00:30:07,289 --> 00:30:08,799
I'm not the one
that put Father
645
00:30:08,874 --> 00:30:10,344
Christmas in the slammer.
646
00:30:10,417 --> 00:30:12,677
MRS. BURKE: He is the Father
Christmas, and you know it.
647
00:30:12,752 --> 00:30:15,222
And if you're so concerned about
giving more toys to children,
648
00:30:15,297 --> 00:30:17,167
then how come you
gave Matty that--
649
00:30:17,249 --> 00:30:19,769
that drooling monster, the one,
that mutant with the saliva
650
00:30:19,843 --> 00:30:21,113
dripping down its fangs?
651
00:30:21,186 --> 00:30:23,396
The mutant with
fangs is your mother.
652
00:30:23,471 --> 00:30:25,371
Oh, you--
653
00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:27,479
And the reason I gave Matty
the stuffed Godzilla baby was--
654
00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,479
HENRY CLAWSON: Have
you two finished?
655
00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:32,401
May I remind you,
this is my courtroom
656
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,160
and not a marriage encounter?
657
00:30:35,233 --> 00:30:36,993
We are not
married, your honor.
658
00:30:37,068 --> 00:30:38,648
We're divorced.
659
00:30:38,728 --> 00:30:39,828
HENRY CLAWSON: And I
can't imagine a couple
660
00:30:39,905 --> 00:30:41,995
better suited for it than you.
661
00:30:42,073 --> 00:30:43,503
But this isn't
about your divorce.
662
00:30:43,575 --> 00:30:45,665
This is about two
separate injunctions
663
00:30:45,678 --> 00:30:48,168
and whether or not your
client can be released
664
00:30:48,246 --> 00:30:49,336
on his own recognizance.
665
00:30:49,414 --> 00:30:50,924
MRS. BURKE: Your
honor, the man is
666
00:30:50,999 --> 00:30:53,049
an itinerant with no
permanent address, no means--
667
00:30:53,126 --> 00:30:55,176
PAUL BURKE: The North
Pole is not exactly
668
00:30:55,253 --> 00:30:56,553
what you call temporary.
669
00:30:56,630 --> 00:30:58,310
MRS. BURKE: --no means
of support and no assets.
670
00:30:58,315 --> 00:31:02,345
And he has already shown himself
to be of a violent nature.
671
00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:05,347
Yes, well, when
I miss my lunch,
672
00:31:05,430 --> 00:31:07,190
I have rather a violent nature.
673
00:31:07,265 --> 00:31:08,765
So we'll adjourn for
an hour, and then I'll
674
00:31:08,850 --> 00:31:10,570
hear your witnesses.
675
00:31:10,644 --> 00:31:12,864
But I must warn you, Mr.
Burke, unless you can produce
676
00:31:12,938 --> 00:31:14,778
something that'll
change my mind,
677
00:31:14,856 --> 00:31:17,366
I'm rather inclined to
agree with Mrs. Burke.
678
00:31:17,442 --> 00:31:18,792
Court is adjourned.
679
00:31:26,034 --> 00:31:27,684
Excuse me, Mrs. Burke?
680
00:31:27,753 --> 00:31:30,053
I was just wondering if we all
couldn't go sit down somewhere
681
00:31:30,121 --> 00:31:31,411
and talk.
682
00:31:31,490 --> 00:31:33,340
I don't think there's
anything to talk about.
683
00:31:33,416 --> 00:31:35,046
Maybe there isn't.
684
00:31:35,127 --> 00:31:36,277
But I don't see any reason
why personal problems
685
00:31:36,361 --> 00:31:38,511
get in the way of
professional courtesy.
686
00:31:38,588 --> 00:31:40,138
All right, I think
there's an office
687
00:31:40,215 --> 00:31:41,475
down the hallway we can use.
688
00:31:51,768 --> 00:31:53,528
Now, Mr. Burke, I
know I work for you,
689
00:31:53,603 --> 00:31:55,033
and I may be stepping
way out of line.
690
00:31:55,105 --> 00:31:56,345
But I've got to tell
you, you two are
691
00:31:56,423 --> 00:31:58,413
acting like a couple of jerks.
692
00:31:58,483 --> 00:31:59,573
OK Smith, that's enough.
693
00:31:59,651 --> 00:32:00,951
All right, just let him talk.
694
00:32:01,027 --> 00:32:02,247
Why?
695
00:32:02,329 --> 00:32:04,079
Just because I told
him to shut up?
696
00:32:03,756 --> 00:32:05,206
If I had said, let him talk, you
would have said, let him sh--
697
00:32:05,290 --> 00:32:06,580
Would you listen
to yourselves?
698
00:32:06,658 --> 00:32:08,578
I mean, that's exactly
what I'm talking about.
699
00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:09,920
Look, you couldn't
live together.
700
00:32:09,995 --> 00:32:11,305
Fine, you got a divorce.
701
00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:12,748
Why are you still
using everything
702
00:32:12,822 --> 00:32:14,422
you can get your hands
on to hurt each other?
703
00:32:14,499 --> 00:32:16,169
You don't have to hurt
each other anymore.
704
00:32:16,251 --> 00:32:17,221
You've made your decision.
705
00:32:17,293 --> 00:32:18,733
Get on with your lives.
706
00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:19,654
That's just what
I'm trying to do.
707
00:32:19,729 --> 00:32:20,759
That's what I'm
trying to do too.
708
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:21,999
Oh, no, it isn't.
709
00:32:22,074 --> 00:32:23,644
You're still fighting
out your marriage.
710
00:32:23,651 --> 00:32:25,431
First you use your child
to hurt each other.
711
00:32:25,510 --> 00:32:26,980
Then you use Santa Claus
to hurt each other.
712
00:32:27,053 --> 00:32:28,693
It's ridiculous.
713
00:32:28,763 --> 00:32:31,193
Don't you think it's time you
two grew up, for everybody's
714
00:32:31,266 --> 00:32:32,736
sake, including your own?
715
00:32:37,022 --> 00:32:37,872
Maybe he's right.
716
00:32:40,525 --> 00:32:43,115
Yeah, maybe he is.
717
00:32:43,194 --> 00:32:44,914
I mean, this whole
thing has gotten
718
00:32:44,988 --> 00:32:46,748
really absurd, hasn't it?
719
00:32:46,823 --> 00:32:48,673
Well, look who
started the whole thing.
720
00:32:48,742 --> 00:32:51,792
Playing Look Who Started
It is not going to end it.
721
00:32:51,804 --> 00:32:54,814
And we can end it, right
here, the two of us.
722
00:32:58,376 --> 00:32:59,426
Yeah, you're right.
723
00:32:59,502 --> 00:33:03,142
It's-- it's really simple.
724
00:33:03,214 --> 00:33:06,274
Yes, yes, it really
is, very simple.
725
00:33:06,342 --> 00:33:08,142
I mean, we're
scuffling and hassling.
726
00:33:08,219 --> 00:33:11,909
And the solution is right
here in the palm of our hands.
727
00:33:18,989 --> 00:33:20,829
What do you say, counselor?
728
00:33:23,568 --> 00:33:27,078
You're a bigger man than
I gave you credit for, Paul.
729
00:33:27,155 --> 00:33:29,825
I'll tell Mr Newman that
you're dropping the injunction.
730
00:33:29,842 --> 00:33:30,672
Right.
731
00:33:30,742 --> 00:33:32,542
Right after you drop yours.
732
00:33:32,619 --> 00:33:33,999
Me?
733
00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:36,499
Yeah, that's why he's in jail.
734
00:33:36,581 --> 00:33:38,841
He's in jail because
he brought it on himself.
735
00:33:38,917 --> 00:33:40,127
No, no, I take that back.
736
00:33:40,210 --> 00:33:41,430
That poor old man
was just a pawn.
737
00:33:41,503 --> 00:33:42,893
You brought this on.
738
00:33:42,962 --> 00:33:44,892
Now you drop yours
and we'll drop ours.
739
00:33:44,964 --> 00:33:46,644
PAUL BURKE: I'll drop
mine after you drop yours.
740
00:33:46,716 --> 00:33:48,576
MRS. BURKE: If you don't drop
yours, I won't drop mine.
741
00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:50,890
How do I know that if I
drop mine, you'll drop yours.
742
00:33:50,970 --> 00:33:51,860
Drop yours and find out.
743
00:33:51,938 --> 00:33:52,978
Drop yours.
744
00:33:53,056 --> 00:33:54,136
You drop yours.
745
00:33:54,216 --> 00:33:55,436
PAUL BURKE: I'm
not dropping mine.
746
00:33:55,517 --> 00:33:56,367
MRS. BURKE: Well, then
I'm not dropping mine.
747
00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:57,611
PAUL BURKE: Fine.
748
00:33:57,686 --> 00:33:57,896
MRS. BURKE: Fine?
- Fine.
749
00:33:57,977 --> 00:33:59,257
Fine.
750
00:33:59,338 --> 00:33:59,688
I'll see you in
court, counselor.
751
00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:00,865
Right.
752
00:34:00,947 --> 00:34:02,697
The gloves are off, baby.
753
00:34:02,708 --> 00:34:05,488
This is war!
754
00:34:05,568 --> 00:34:07,918
[kinds chanting, "free santa!"]
755
00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:27,468
BOY: Hey, mister, would you
like to contribute to the Free
756
00:34:27,549 --> 00:34:29,179
Santa bail fund, sir?
757
00:34:29,259 --> 00:34:32,229
Well, my fine little
fella, Santa's right in there
758
00:34:32,303 --> 00:34:33,803
in our toy department.
759
00:34:33,739 --> 00:34:37,019
You can go right in
and see for yourself.
760
00:34:37,034 --> 00:34:39,404
Oh, no, sir, Santa's in jail.
761
00:34:39,477 --> 00:34:42,647
This mean guy named
Newman put him in there.
762
00:34:42,730 --> 00:34:44,750
And that's just
where he'll stay.
763
00:34:47,652 --> 00:34:49,242
You hear that, Burke?
764
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,820
I'll show you what
it means to mess
765
00:34:50,898 --> 00:34:53,748
with the biggest week of retail
sales in the fiscal year.
766
00:34:53,825 --> 00:34:57,585
You want war,
Bucko, you got war.
767
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,220
This court is now ready
to hear whatever witnesses
768
00:35:06,296 --> 00:35:07,776
you choose to call.
769
00:35:07,855 --> 00:35:10,965
But I must warn you, Mr
Burke, that this court will
770
00:35:11,050 --> 00:35:12,770
not be swayed by sentiment.
771
00:35:12,844 --> 00:35:14,774
And Christmas Eve
or no Christmas Eve,
772
00:35:14,846 --> 00:35:17,016
if this man is Santa
Claus, you're going
773
00:35:17,098 --> 00:35:18,368
to have to prove it to me.
774
00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:26,197
Your honor, I find myself
in the rather absurd position
775
00:35:26,274 --> 00:35:28,124
of having to disprove a myth.
776
00:35:28,193 --> 00:35:31,083
Now, Mr. Burke and Mr. Smith
may call various members
777
00:35:31,154 --> 00:35:33,964
of the clergy or what
have you in their attempt
778
00:35:33,966 --> 00:35:37,876
to verify their claim of
the reality of this myth.
779
00:35:37,952 --> 00:35:40,802
I, however, have turned to the
world of empirical evidence
780
00:35:40,872 --> 00:35:43,302
in calling to the stand
the foremost psychiatrist
781
00:35:43,374 --> 00:35:45,854
in the state, Dr. Carl Erhart.
782
00:36:02,602 --> 00:36:04,492
Do you swear to tell the
truth, the whole truth,
783
00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:05,962
and nothing but the
truth in the matter now
784
00:36:06,039 --> 00:36:07,659
pending before this
court, so help you?
785
00:36:07,732 --> 00:36:08,582
I do.
786
00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:16,370
Please state your name.
787
00:36:16,449 --> 00:36:18,169
Carl Erhart.
788
00:36:18,243 --> 00:36:19,583
And are you a doctor?
789
00:36:19,661 --> 00:36:24,341
I am a psychiatrist,
MD, MA, PhD.
790
00:36:24,415 --> 00:36:26,545
Do you believe in
Santa Claus, doctor?
791
00:36:26,626 --> 00:36:28,256
No, I don't.
792
00:36:28,336 --> 00:36:30,846
And has it been your
experience as a psychiatrist
793
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:33,262
that adults believe
in Santa Claus.
794
00:36:33,341 --> 00:36:35,181
As a rule, no.
795
00:36:35,260 --> 00:36:38,520
And if an adult believed
he was Santa Claus,
796
00:36:38,596 --> 00:36:40,856
what would your diagnosis be?
797
00:36:40,932 --> 00:36:45,492
If he really believed he
was Santa Claus, delusions
798
00:36:45,495 --> 00:36:48,195
of grandeur, schizophrenia.
799
00:36:48,273 --> 00:36:49,083
Thank you.
800
00:36:49,157 --> 00:36:50,827
No further questions.
801
00:36:55,989 --> 00:36:57,709
Doctor, let me ask you,
when you were a little boy,
802
00:36:57,782 --> 00:36:59,372
did you believe in Santa Claus?
803
00:36:59,450 --> 00:37:01,540
CARL ERHART: Yes,
I suppose I did.
804
00:37:01,619 --> 00:37:03,289
Were you mentally
ill at the time?
805
00:37:03,371 --> 00:37:06,811
(LAUGHING) No, I was a child.
806
00:37:06,883 --> 00:37:10,643
And also, I did not
believe I was Santa Claus.
807
00:37:10,712 --> 00:37:12,222
There is a difference.
808
00:37:12,297 --> 00:37:14,427
JONATHAN SMITH: But children
do believe in Santa Claus,
809
00:37:14,507 --> 00:37:15,807
do they not?
810
00:37:15,884 --> 00:37:17,934
CARL ERHART: On the whole, yes.
811
00:37:18,011 --> 00:37:19,731
Is there anything
wrong with that?
812
00:37:19,804 --> 00:37:23,444
No, perfectly
harmless fantasy.
813
00:37:23,516 --> 00:37:25,186
Might it not even
be a positive one
814
00:37:25,268 --> 00:37:26,358
with positive values?
815
00:37:26,436 --> 00:37:28,396
Yes, I suppose so.
816
00:37:28,479 --> 00:37:30,239
Do you have any children?
817
00:37:30,315 --> 00:37:31,535
Yes, and grandchildren.
818
00:37:31,616 --> 00:37:32,906
Congratulations.
819
00:37:32,984 --> 00:37:34,374
Do your grandchildren
believe in Santa Claus?
820
00:37:34,444 --> 00:37:36,164
Oh, yes!
821
00:37:36,237 --> 00:37:38,457
Well, why haven't you
told them there is no Santa?
822
00:37:41,367 --> 00:37:44,337
Well, because, uh--
823
00:37:44,412 --> 00:37:46,812
because they're children.
824
00:37:46,881 --> 00:37:48,971
And to them, Santa is real.
825
00:37:49,042 --> 00:37:50,102
CARL ERHART: Yes.
826
00:37:50,176 --> 00:37:51,966
As real as you or I?
827
00:37:52,045 --> 00:37:54,505
Yes.
828
00:37:54,589 --> 00:37:57,059
I will say this.
829
00:37:57,133 --> 00:38:00,603
There is a reality
of the Santa Claus.
830
00:38:00,678 --> 00:38:03,608
It exists in the
minds of children.
831
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,610
Thank you very much, doctor.
832
00:38:09,687 --> 00:38:12,657
And Merry Christmas.
833
00:38:12,732 --> 00:38:14,542
Merry Christmas
to you, too, sir.
834
00:38:18,613 --> 00:38:21,123
Your name is Clarence Edwards.
835
00:38:21,199 --> 00:38:22,429
That's right.
836
00:38:22,508 --> 00:38:23,918
You're employed as a
jailer in the precinct
837
00:38:23,993 --> 00:38:25,293
where my client is being held.
838
00:38:25,370 --> 00:38:27,000
Correct.
839
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:28,670
As part of your duties,
you identify the prisoners
840
00:38:28,748 --> 00:38:30,378
and fill out a
report on each one?
841
00:38:30,458 --> 00:38:31,598
That's right.
842
00:38:31,676 --> 00:38:33,596
Is this the report
that you filled out
843
00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:34,758
on the prisoner in question?
844
00:38:34,837 --> 00:38:36,447
Yeah, that's it.
845
00:38:36,522 --> 00:38:38,892
Would you read the names under
which the prisoner was booked?
846
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:43,140
Claus, Santa, alias Kringle,
Kris, alias Christmas,
847
00:38:43,221 --> 00:38:45,771
Father, alias
Nicholas, Saint, alias
848
00:38:45,848 --> 00:38:47,018
Nicholas Jolly Old Saint--
849
00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:49,360
PAUL BURKE: That'll
be enough aliases.
850
00:38:49,435 --> 00:38:52,025
Did you fingerprint the
prisoner and run those prints?
851
00:38:52,105 --> 00:38:53,055
Yes, I did.
852
00:38:53,140 --> 00:38:54,880
Did those prints
show the prisoner
853
00:38:54,957 --> 00:38:57,157
to have any other identity
but that which he gave?
854
00:38:57,235 --> 00:38:59,445
Well, he came up clean
as a whistle-- no arrests,
855
00:38:59,529 --> 00:39:02,999
no priors, no driver's license,
no social security card,
856
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:04,774
nothing.
857
00:39:04,851 --> 00:39:06,501
So as far as you're concerned,
the name of the man that you
858
00:39:06,577 --> 00:39:08,127
have in your holding cell is--
859
00:39:08,204 --> 00:39:09,924
Santa Claus.
860
00:39:09,997 --> 00:39:11,457
PAUL BURKE: That'll
be sufficient,
861
00:39:11,541 --> 00:39:13,291
no further questions.
862
00:39:16,012 --> 00:39:18,182
Have you never had
another prisoner who did not
863
00:39:18,190 --> 00:39:21,930
show any means of
identification, whose prints
864
00:39:22,009 --> 00:39:25,649
didn't show up anywhere, who
had no arrests, no priors,
865
00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:27,015
no driver's license, et cetera?
866
00:39:27,098 --> 00:39:29,518
Yeah, we get guys like
that, but not ones that
867
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,030
call themselves Santa Claus.
868
00:39:31,102 --> 00:39:33,362
And when you get someone
who has no driver's license,
869
00:39:33,438 --> 00:39:36,108
no place of employment,
no social security card,
870
00:39:36,190 --> 00:39:38,370
or any other means
of identification,
871
00:39:38,443 --> 00:39:41,953
what, in your professional
nomenclature, do you call him?
872
00:39:42,029 --> 00:39:42,949
A bum.
873
00:39:42,798 --> 00:39:45,918
[music playing]
874
00:39:56,486 --> 00:39:57,926
Any further witnesses
to call, Mr Burke?
875
00:39:58,004 --> 00:39:59,474
No your honor.
876
00:39:59,547 --> 00:40:01,347
Yes, your honor.
877
00:40:01,424 --> 00:40:02,724
Which is it, yes or no?
878
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,680
I have two more witnesses.
879
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:07,980
They better be
good, Mr. Smith.
880
00:40:08,055 --> 00:40:09,805
Your honor, we
would like to call
881
00:40:09,891 --> 00:40:14,031
an expert witness to testify as
to the reality of Santa Claus.
882
00:40:14,103 --> 00:40:17,613
Oh, this I got to see.
883
00:40:17,690 --> 00:40:19,290
And you will.
884
00:40:19,367 --> 00:40:21,367
Mrs. Burke called her own
expert witness, who testified,
885
00:40:21,444 --> 00:40:24,954
and I quote, "There is a
reality to Santa Claus.
886
00:40:25,031 --> 00:40:28,371
It exists in the minds
of children," end quote.
887
00:40:28,451 --> 00:40:32,091
We, therefore, would like to
call our own expert witness.
888
00:40:32,163 --> 00:40:34,553
We call Matthew Burke.
889
00:40:34,624 --> 00:40:35,974
BAILIFF: Call Matthew Burke.
890
00:40:41,681 --> 00:40:43,411
Your honor, I protest.
891
00:40:43,491 --> 00:40:45,221
That's my son, and I
don't give my permission.
892
00:40:45,235 --> 00:40:49,855
Your honor, I have custody
this week, and I give mine.
893
00:40:49,939 --> 00:40:52,409
HENRY CLAWSON: Swear
in the witness.
894
00:40:52,484 --> 00:40:54,444
BAILIFF: Do you swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth,
895
00:40:54,519 --> 00:40:56,029
and nothing but the
truth in the matter now
896
00:40:56,103 --> 00:40:57,743
pending before this
court, so help you?
897
00:40:57,813 --> 00:40:58,873
Sure.
898
00:41:03,027 --> 00:41:04,697
Now, Matty, are you a child?
899
00:41:04,779 --> 00:41:05,749
Yes, sir.
900
00:41:05,821 --> 00:41:07,051
I see.
901
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:08,751
And how long have
you been a child?
902
00:41:08,824 --> 00:41:10,044
Seven years.
903
00:41:10,117 --> 00:41:12,167
Mm, that seems like
enough experience to me.
904
00:41:12,245 --> 00:41:14,295
Matty, is there a Santa Claus.
905
00:41:14,372 --> 00:41:15,962
Uh-huh.
906
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,760
How do you know?
907
00:41:17,833 --> 00:41:20,803
'Cause Mama told me.
908
00:41:20,878 --> 00:41:22,428
JONATHAN SMITH: Oh.
909
00:41:22,505 --> 00:41:27,015
Do you see Santa Claus
anywhere in this courtroom?
910
00:41:27,093 --> 00:41:28,603
Yeah, he's right there.
911
00:41:28,678 --> 00:41:29,638
Hi, Santa.
912
00:41:29,713 --> 00:41:31,993
[laughter]
913
00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:36,610
Your honor, let the
record show that the witness
914
00:41:36,686 --> 00:41:38,776
has indicated our client.
915
00:41:38,854 --> 00:41:39,914
That was very good, Matty.
916
00:41:39,989 --> 00:41:42,489
Thank you.
917
00:41:42,567 --> 00:41:44,037
Your witness, counselor.
918
00:41:46,821 --> 00:41:47,871
Hi, Matty.
919
00:41:47,947 --> 00:41:48,957
Hi, Mom.
920
00:41:52,201 --> 00:41:53,931
Uh, no questions, your honor.
921
00:41:57,933 --> 00:42:00,053
Son, you may step down.
922
00:42:00,126 --> 00:42:01,556
Thank you, sir.
923
00:42:01,636 --> 00:42:02,676
JONATHAN SMITH: We
call Santa Claus.
924
00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:03,767
BAILIFF: Santa Claus.
925
00:42:03,846 --> 00:42:06,936
[crowd murmuring]
926
00:42:18,352 --> 00:42:20,192
Do you swear to tell the
truth, the whole truth,
927
00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:21,991
and nothing but the
truth in the matter now
928
00:42:22,064 --> 00:42:23,964
pending before this
court, so help you?
929
00:42:24,033 --> 00:42:25,253
So help me God.
930
00:42:33,843 --> 00:42:34,833
How ya doin', Santa?
931
00:42:34,910 --> 00:42:37,040
Hi, Jonathan.
932
00:42:37,121 --> 00:42:39,261
Santa, aside from one other
person in this courtroom,
933
00:42:39,332 --> 00:42:41,632
you know more about me than
anybody else in this world,
934
00:42:41,709 --> 00:42:43,039
don't you?
935
00:42:43,119 --> 00:42:44,889
Yes, Jonathan, I suppose I do.
936
00:42:44,962 --> 00:42:46,972
And you know I've been
working on another case,
937
00:42:47,048 --> 00:42:48,848
another assignment,
as it were, that
938
00:42:48,924 --> 00:42:50,434
hasn't been going too well.
939
00:42:50,509 --> 00:42:51,389
I know, kid.
940
00:42:51,469 --> 00:42:53,349
I know.
941
00:42:53,429 --> 00:42:54,739
So I'm going to ask
you to help me Santa
942
00:42:54,814 --> 00:42:58,574
with my assignment, and
maybe, just maybe, it might
943
00:42:58,643 --> 00:43:00,153
solve all of our problems.
944
00:43:00,227 --> 00:43:02,357
I'll do anything I can.
945
00:43:02,438 --> 00:43:04,818
You know that.
946
00:43:04,899 --> 00:43:06,739
Santa, what did
Matty Burke tell
947
00:43:06,751 --> 00:43:08,411
you he wanted for Christmas?
948
00:43:08,486 --> 00:43:12,196
Oh, Jonathan, I
can't tell you that.
949
00:43:12,281 --> 00:43:14,921
That's between the boy and me.
950
00:43:14,992 --> 00:43:18,422
That's privileged information.
951
00:43:18,496 --> 00:43:19,616
Matty?
952
00:43:22,958 --> 00:43:24,378
It's OK, Santa.
953
00:43:24,460 --> 00:43:25,310
Go ahead.
954
00:43:29,965 --> 00:43:32,475
Santa, what did Matty tell
you he wanted more than anything
955
00:43:32,551 --> 00:43:35,191
else in this world?
956
00:43:35,262 --> 00:43:41,072
Well, he wanted his mom and
dad to stop fighting over him.
957
00:43:41,143 --> 00:43:45,703
He wanted them to stop
using him to hurt each other
958
00:43:45,773 --> 00:43:49,583
and to stop trying to
make him take sides.
959
00:43:52,121 --> 00:43:55,581
The boy loves you both.
960
00:43:55,658 --> 00:44:01,298
And he's living proof that
once you loved each other.
961
00:44:01,372 --> 00:44:06,302
You're bound by the love your
child has for both of you.
962
00:44:06,377 --> 00:44:13,267
And yet, you can't do the best
for your son if you're enemies.
963
00:44:13,342 --> 00:44:15,432
Now, you may not
be married anymore,
964
00:44:15,511 --> 00:44:18,481
but you're still his parents.
965
00:44:18,556 --> 00:44:20,226
And you can't do
the best for him
966
00:44:20,307 --> 00:44:26,317
if you're not friends, because,
with all your differences,
967
00:44:26,397 --> 00:44:28,317
you still have
the most important
968
00:44:28,399 --> 00:44:30,779
thing in the world in common.
969
00:44:30,860 --> 00:44:34,330
You both love him.
970
00:44:34,405 --> 00:44:38,245
Neither of you has to win, and
neither of you has to lose.
971
00:44:38,325 --> 00:44:44,335
All you got to do is love your
son and work together, even
972
00:44:44,415 --> 00:44:48,585
if you're apart, to raise him.
973
00:44:48,669 --> 00:44:49,519
You know what I mean?
974
00:44:58,554 --> 00:44:59,914
Your honor--
975
00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:00,899
HENRY CLAWSON: Mr.
Newman, please be seated
976
00:45:00,973 --> 00:45:02,613
and refrain from interrupting.
977
00:45:02,683 --> 00:45:06,123
But I can save the
court a lot of time.
978
00:45:06,195 --> 00:45:07,945
Let him go.
979
00:45:07,956 --> 00:45:09,776
If he isn't Santa,
he ought to be.
980
00:45:09,857 --> 00:45:10,867
[crowd murmuring]
981
00:45:10,950 --> 00:45:13,160
You wish to drop
the injunction?
982
00:45:13,169 --> 00:45:16,499
You bet I do.
983
00:45:16,572 --> 00:45:18,882
Well, boys and
girls, looks like we're
984
00:45:18,958 --> 00:45:22,838
never going to find out whether
I think he's Santa or not.
985
00:45:22,912 --> 00:45:23,962
It's Christmas Eve.
986
00:45:24,038 --> 00:45:24,998
Let's get out of here.
987
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:26,800
Case dismissed.
988
00:45:26,874 --> 00:45:28,764
[applause]
989
00:45:28,834 --> 00:45:30,354
Congratulations.
990
00:45:36,717 --> 00:45:38,017
Yeah.
991
00:45:38,027 --> 00:45:39,057
Mwah.
992
00:45:39,136 --> 00:45:40,346
Yeah.
993
00:45:40,429 --> 00:45:42,229
Come on, son, we got
a tree to decorate.
994
00:45:42,306 --> 00:45:45,316
Merry Christmas, Mom.
995
00:45:45,392 --> 00:45:47,112
Merry Christmas, Matty.
996
00:45:47,186 --> 00:45:48,236
See you Monday.
997
00:45:52,608 --> 00:45:55,418
[music playing]
998
00:45:57,279 --> 00:45:58,369
Maybe just this
once we could be
999
00:45:58,447 --> 00:46:00,167
friends and spend it together.
1000
00:46:00,249 --> 00:46:02,679
What do you say?
1001
00:46:02,752 --> 00:46:03,832
You're on.
1002
00:46:07,122 --> 00:46:08,432
I got a client
to say goodbye to.
1003
00:46:11,377 --> 00:46:12,387
Where'd he go?
1004
00:46:14,939 --> 00:46:16,469
Where's Santa?
1005
00:46:16,549 --> 00:46:19,849
Mr. Burke, you
got to be kidding.
1006
00:46:19,927 --> 00:46:22,057
It's Christmas Eve.
1007
00:46:22,137 --> 00:46:24,657
[engine stalling]
1008
00:46:45,119 --> 00:46:47,209
Hey, Clarence, need a lift?
1009
00:46:47,288 --> 00:46:48,458
I guess.
1010
00:46:48,539 --> 00:46:50,879
If it's not one
thing, it's another.
1011
00:46:50,958 --> 00:46:54,178
I'd sure appreciate it, if
it's not out of your way.
1012
00:46:54,253 --> 00:46:55,313
No problem at all.
1013
00:47:02,136 --> 00:47:04,596
Your kids waiting
for you, Clarence?
1014
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,480
Uh, no, they're over
their grandmothers.
1015
00:47:06,557 --> 00:47:08,437
I thought I'd be late tonight.
1016
00:47:08,517 --> 00:47:10,897
I'll pick them up
in the morning.
1017
00:47:10,978 --> 00:47:15,698
[laughs] That old fool, he's
really something, isn't he?
1018
00:47:15,774 --> 00:47:17,164
That he is.
1019
00:47:17,234 --> 00:47:19,914
Kind of made me wish
I was a kid again,
1020
00:47:19,987 --> 00:47:23,287
so I really could believe.
1021
00:47:23,365 --> 00:47:25,705
You know what I mean?
1022
00:47:25,784 --> 00:47:27,594
Believe me, I know
exactly what you mean.
1023
00:47:40,933 --> 00:47:42,033
Thanks a lot for the lift.
1024
00:47:42,109 --> 00:47:42,879
Hey, it was our pleasure.
1025
00:47:42,861 --> 00:47:43,771
Goodnight.
1026
00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:45,268
Goodnight.
1027
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:47,810
Oh, Clarence.
1028
00:47:47,890 --> 00:47:49,840
Remember, there'll
always being Santa
1029
00:47:49,917 --> 00:47:55,107
Claus, because there'll always
be a little kid in all of us.
1030
00:47:55,189 --> 00:47:58,489
You have a Merry Christmas.
1031
00:47:58,567 --> 00:48:01,657
Yeah, Merry Christmas.
1032
00:48:01,737 --> 00:48:03,707
[music playing]
1033
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:29,360
[chugging]
1034
00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:19,455
[music playing]
1035
00:49:19,505 --> 00:49:24,055
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