All language subtitles for The Munsters s01e08 Herman the Great

Now, Wilbur, I'll show you
something special.

[Chuckles]

[Metal Creaking]

There you go, Wilbur.

Gee, thanks, Mr. Munster.

Well, Eddie, I, uh,
can't sit around here
tying knots all day.

The car has a flat,
and I promised Grandpa
I'd hold it up...

while he changes the tire.

Good-bye, Wilbur.
Good-bye, sir.

Boy, Eddie, you got
the neatest father
in the whole neighborhood.

Jerry, look.
If we can sign up this guy,
Herman Munster,

we'll have the greatest gimmick
in wrestling since the Swedish Angel.

Yeah. Why,

he ties knots in steel bars.

A-A-And lifts automobiles
off the ground.

Mm-hmm.
No, his kid goes to school
with my Wilbur.

No, I haven't met him yet,
but believe me,

when he climbs into the ring,
he'll have the people
falling in the aisles.

Oh. This Chinese tea always acts up
when we put it in the Russian samovar.

That certainly was
a very nice dinner
you served tonight, Lily.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Oh, the soup was delicious.

But the croutons
kept crawling out of the bowl.

Don't worry about that, Grandpa.
They always come back.

Lily, uh, uh,
did you read this article?

It says here that 35% of the parents
who want to send their children
to college...

don't have the money
when the time comes.

Oh, that shouldn't
worry us now, Herman.

Eddie won't be ready for college
for a long time yet.

No, but it says
we should start planning now.

Set a little bit aside every year.

Back in the Old Country,
we always buried a little something
in the backyard for a rainy day.

You know,
Eddie should go to college.

After all, his father
was a college man.

How long were you at
the Heidelburg University, dear?

How long?

I was in their medical school
for six years...

in several different jars.

Yes, Lily, your husband
was a man of parts.

You know, we've got to
send Eddie to college,

even if it means
I have to borrow the money.

[Grandpa]
Telephone.
What?

The telephone in the hall?
It's about to ring.
Why wait till the last minute?

Oh. Thank you, Grandpa.

[Phone Ringing]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

Hello?

Mr. Ramsey?
Wilbur's father.

Mr. Munster,
I have a proposition
to make you.

Really? A proposition?

I hope that's not
another salesman on the phone,
trying to sell cemetery plots.

We have enough trouble
making the payments on this place
without thinking of resort property.

Well, I could, uh, use
the $200 or $300 extra a week,
but wrestling?

[Chuckles]
My goodness.

What would my family
and friends think?

If it's your friends and family
you're worried about,
nobody has to know.

We'll put a hood over your head
and bill you as The Masked Marvel.

It'll be a great gimmick.

The Masked Marvel?
Uh, you mean, nobody
could see my face?

Well, I sure could use the money.

Uh, I just might go for it.

Uh, listen, Mr. Ramsey.
Just give me a few days
to get in shape,

and I'll get in touch with you.

Mum's the word, now.
Bye.

He ties knots in steel bars
and needs to get in shape?

[Laughing]
Our problems are solved.

When you grow up,
you're gonna go to college
after all.

Oh, isn't that wonderful.
Now maybe you'll grow up to be
half the man your father is.

Oh, boy!
You're gonna be your daddy's
big, smart, successful son.

[Laughs]

[Crash]

[Laughing]

Gee, Dad, do it again.
Will ya? Huh?

[Pounding]

There goes Uncle Herman
with that pounding again.

I wish he'd tell us
what he's doing
down there in the lab.

He's been spending
most of his time down there
now for three days.

He won't even let me in.
He says he's just in training
for his new job.

I wonder what he meant
when he said it's night work.

There's only one decent kind
of night work I know of,

and I haven't done any
since I left the Old Country.

Ah, for the good old days
on the graveyard shift.

[Pounding Continues]

There he goes again.

[Crash]

[Growls]

[Growls]

[Yells]

[Chuckles]

[Squeaking]

Hmph!
Igor, will you go away?

Can't you see I'm busy?

[Squeaking Continues]

It's not Igor, Herman.
It's me.

I just had to fly down here
to see what you're up to.

Grandpa, don't you know
that curiosity killed the bat?

But satisfaction
brought him back.

Oh, wrestling.

Now, this is the night work
you've been coming down here
training for.

Grandpa, I didn't want
anyone to know.

Some promoter's offered me
$300 a week if I'll appear
as The Masked Marvel.

[Laughs]
The Masked Marvel?

You, a wrestler?

You won't even draw flies.

Oh, on the contrary,
I'm sure I will.

But why you?
Of all people, lowering
the Munster dignity.

Because I want my son
to go to college.
[Sighs]

I misjudged you, Herman.
But don't worry.

I won't tell anyone
your secret. Shh.

Thank you, Grandpa.
Thank you.

Uh, but now I gotta
be sure I'm in shape.
I'm due in the arena tonight.

[Spits Twice]

I guess I'd better quit.

I don't wanna overtrain.

[Clamoring]

[Crowd Cheering]

[Bell Rings]
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

for the featured match of the evening
on our all-star wrestling card,

presenting on my left,
at 270 pounds,

standing 6 foot 4,

our local champion,
Tarzan McGirk.

[Bell Rings]
And as his opponent tonight,

Tarzan takes on a newcomer,
weighing 387 pounds,

7...
7 foot 3!

7 foot 3,
a mystery mangler...

The Masked Marvel!

[Crowd Jeering]
[Bell Rings]

Your referee for the main event
this evening will be TigerJoe Marsh.

[Crowd Cheering]

[Crowd Jeering]

Uh, how do you do?
Pleased to meet you.

- Huh?
- Back to your corners.

All right, here we go.
Tarzan McGirk,
The Masked Marvel.

Okay, wrestle!
[Bell Rings]

Grandpa, do we have to
watch wrestling?

Well, I just thought wrestling
might be nice for a change.

Yeah, leave it on.
Wrestling's my favorite show.

They begin to circle one another
as each looks for an opening.

[Crowd Cheering]
Uh-oh, Tarzan McGirk clamps on
his famous headlock.

Yes, there's action
here tonight.

Hey, that Tarzan guy's neat.
He always plays the good guy.

But that other fellow with the mask,
he's so much bigger.

[Grandpa Mouthing Words]
Working hard at it.

Oh, oh! The sleeping giant
has come to life!

Look at that big bully.

Come on, Tarzan.
Don't let him do that.

The Masked Marvel is really mad.
[Continues, Indistinct]

He has completely
dominated the match.

Here we go.
[Continues, Indistinct]

And just look at him go
at Tarzan McGirk!

No! No!
Come on! No!
Boo! Boo!

McGirk goes down again!

He's such a brute.
I can't watch.

What's he doing?

The back vault!
Wow! Ladies and gentlemen,

now The Masked Marvel
is really mad.

Oh, oh. Doesn't look
as though he has a chance.

[Crowd Jeering]

The Masked Marvel
is really something.

This is the match of the century.
I'm certainly glad
that Masked Marvel...

got the worst of it.
I am too.

They shouldn't let
a big bully like that
in the ring.

McGirk won.
I can't understand it.

I do, Grandpa.

I think the bad guy
was supposed to win.

But that Masked Marvel's so dumb,
he forgot he was the bad guy
and let that good guy win.

Oh, well, I'm not feeling so well.
I think I'll take a ride in the car.

Yeah, and on the way home,
I'll pick up Herman from work.

Grandpa, couldn't you just give us
a little hint about what kind
of work he's in?

L-I'm sorry, Lily. I can't.
But I can tell you this though.

That boy is sure
starting at the bottom.

I can't understand it, Herman.
I saw the match on television.

I haven't seen such a dive
since I was forced down
by a vulture over Transylvania.

Grandpa, I just couldn't
help myself.

Every time I got Tarzan McGirk
down on the mat,
he talked to me.

Talked to you?
Yeah.

Well, I didn't have the heart
to beat him.

Do you know that
he's supporting four children?

And that his wife's sister
is living with them?

And that he has to send
his sick grandmother in Ireland
money for medical expenses?

What kind of
medical expenses?
Oh, it's pathetic.

She's too poor to afford a doctor,

so every week she buys
nine dollars worth of moldy bread...

and makes her own penicillin.

Oh, boy! And for this
you threw the fight!

I didn't throw the fight.

L-I just couldn't be mean to McGirk
after he told me all his troubles.

He's really a very nice man.
His troubles?

What about your troubles?
Eddie's education is at stake.

You've gotta climb
into that ring, son,
not as Herman Munster...

but as every proud father
fighting for his little boy.

This is not just
a wrestling match.
This is a shining crusade.

A contest
on the battlefield of life...

that will leave you
a stronger and nobler person.

Really?

Of course.
The next bum comes along,
get in there and kick him in the teeth!

[Wind Whistling]

Boy, you should have
been here last night, Pop.

We watched wrestling
on television.

Yes, Herman, they had
some big awful bully
called The Masked Marvel.

Yeah, he was clobbering
some guy smaller than him,

but then The Masked Marvel
turned chicken and rolled over
on his back.

I've never seen anything
like it, Uncle Herman.

Yeah, Pop, you should have been here
to see that big dope coward.

Yeah, yeah,
I should have been here.

Well, how could he be here?
He was away working
on his new job.

That's right.
I can't be in two places
at once... anymore.

Herman, I've been looking up
colleges for Eddie,
for when he grows up,

and I wanna go over them
with you.

Please, Lily. Let's just see
how the new job works out
before we decide on a school.

Herman's right.
One thing at a time.

You know the old saying:
No sense in putting
the hearse before the horse.

[Crowd Cheering]

I tell ya... if I lose this match,
my son has to drop out
of med school.

Uh, good heavens, man!
Why didn't you tell me?

[Crowd Cheering]

[Bell Rings]

[Crowd Jeering]
Break it up!
I said break it up!

But if they repossess
my sister's banjo,

she'll be kicked out
of the Boston Symphony.

Really?
L-I had no idea.

[Crowd Cheering]

[Bell Rings]

But I've gotta get my kid brother
the plane fare to Africa.

Albert Schweitzer needs him.

[Crowd Cheering]

Hey, boss, when you gonna
dump this Munster guy?

He's lost eight matches in a row.
Even the crowd's getting tired
of booing him.

Look, Jerry,
I've got one more gimmick
that might appeal to the fans.

Beginning tonight,
I'm offering $50 a minute...

to any cluck from the audience...

for as long as he can stay
in the ring with The Masked Marvel.

Uh, what is it I'm supposed
to do again, Mr. Hansen?

Strangler, you saw
the sign outside.

Fifty bucks a minute
for any amateur who stays
in the ring with this guy.

Well, tonight, you walk up
like any schnook from the audience...

and toss him around
for about 25 minutes.

Yeah, but, uh,
this guy's pretty big.

What if I can't handle him?

Well, how did you handle
the other guys...

uh, Iron Man Mallory,
Benny Sampson
and Charlie the Choker?

You put sleeping pills
in their drinking water.

Okay. So tonight
I do the same thing
to The Masked Marvel.

I'm gonna dump this whole bottle
in the water cooler
in his dressing room.

He'll be so groggy,
your biggest problem will be
keeping him awake during the match.

You're sure a smart fella,
Mr. Hansen.

But ain't this just
a little bit dishonest?

Fifty dollars a minute.

We walk out
with 1,250 bucks.

I withdraws the question.

Oh, Eddie, you're not going to
turn on wrestling again tonight.

I don't think I can watch
that Masked Marvel
one more time.

He's nothing but a bully
and a coward, and he loses
all the time.

I know, but the paper
says it's amateur night.

I just wanna watch
this one match.

Who knows? The big dope
might win this time.

[Bell Rings]
Ladies and gentlemen,

a nonprofessional
from the audience,

Mr. John Smith
versus The Masked Marvel...

for $50 a minute.

[Crowd Cheering]

Boy, this is gonna
be good tonight.

I hope Grandpa gets back
in time to see it.

The Masked Marvel
and the challenger from the audience.
Wait a minute, Eddie.

Isn't that Grandpa there?

Well, it is.!
I didn't know Grandpa
was this interested in wrestling.

It looks like the battle
of titans here tonight, folks.

This is really a match, folks.

Wow!
He may be an amateur,

but if he ever manages
to sit on that Masked Marvel,
the match will be over.

Wow, thatJohn Smith
is murdering him.

Look at that big oaf.
He's not even fighting back.

Come on, Herman.
Don't let him do that.

Stay with it, Strangler.

Strangler?

Now, Herman,
what kind of a sob story
did this guy tell you?

You're letting him kill you.

Who's letting him?
I can hardly see him.

[Yawns]

I'm so sleepy,
I can barely stand up.

[Herman Yelling]

That... That smarts!

Marilyn, doesn't that
sound like Herman?
[Herman Groaning On TV]

Yes, it does, Aunt Lily.
[Announcer, Indistinct]

[Eddie]
Hey, that is Daddy.

Heavens to betsy.

This... This must be
the night work
he's been doing.

Come on, Pop.
Clobber 'im!

Come on, Uncle Herman.
Don't let him do that to you.

Come on.
Don't let him do that!

Hit him!
Come on!

[Herman Yelling]

Come on, Murphy!
Give it to him, Strangler.

The pills are working.
We got it made!

Murphy? Strangler?

You mean that's Strangler Murphy,
who was suspended in Chicago...

for bringing tire chains
into the ring?

No. It just spilled out.

That's John Smith,
that's who it is.

So, you brought
a ringer in, huh?

That's Strangler Murphy!
He's no amateur.

It's a frame-up!
[Crowd Jeering]

[Announcer On TV, Indistinct]
Uh-oh, what's Grandpa
gonna do?

I don't know, but he better do it quick.

You wanna play games?
I'll show you how to play games.

Abracadabra, acey-docey,
alakazam and Bela Lugosi!

[Electrical Surge]

Boss, we gotta stop the fight.
Are you kidding?

No, no, no.
There's a fire broke out
in the storage room out back.

Al and the boys
are trying to put it out.

Look. This is the best attraction
we ever had.

Tell 'em to close the fire door.
That oughta hold it back
till the fight's over.

But, Duke...
Go do it, will you?

Bombs away, Herman!

Hey, Munster!

We got a little fire
out in back.
Really?

Yeah, yeah. You gotta
make an announcement
to clear the arena.

I'll... I'll try.
Good.

Ladies and gentlemen,
you must leave.

[Herman Continues, Indistinct]

Uh... Uh, you see... uh...

Was that quick enough
for you, Mr. Ramsey?

Mr... Mr. Ramsey?

Mr. Ramsey?

Mr. Ramsey?

"Last night
at the Meadow Brook Stadium,

"a newcomer to the wrestling game,
Herman Munster,

"persuaded a capacity crowd
to clear the building
in five seconds flat,

"thus preventing a panic,
when a small fire
was discovered backstage.

"Fire Chief Davenport
has awarded Mr. Munster...

the city's annual
$1,000 Fire Safety Award
for his heroic action."

Oh, that's wonderful,
Uncle Herman!

You must have done
some quick thinking, dear.

I don't really remember
too much about it.

I was kind of groggy at the time.

I guess in the emergency,
I just said the right thing.

And you really clobbered
that other wrestler, Pop.

You're the bravest guy
in the whole world.

Thank you, Eddie.
Uh, but, Eddie,

I did it all for you.

And that thousand dollars
is going in our vault...

as a beginning
on your college fund.

Gee, thanks, Pop.
You're swell.

Toss me up in the air again,
will ya?

All righty.
[Chuckles]

Up we go!
[Laughs]

Oh, don't worry, Herman.
Have your hotcakes.

He'll be down
before breakfast is over.