All language subtitles for Swan Sooong

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Good evening.

I'm Mister Pat.

and I'm... and I am...

back.

Good afternoon, residents.

Lunch will be served
in five minutes.

Our special item of the day,
fruit cocktail.

Good, Pat.
Keep those legs moving.

A word?

What's it, Doc?
What's it say?

I wouldn't suggest a...

No, I don't think so,
the words are too small.

You guys gonna go outside?

- I wouldn't. I'm not going...
- You're going outside?

- ...or I think I will.
- No, no.

I'll help you get out there.

We'll have
a little picnic outside.

It won't hurt my hair
or anything if it's windy.

You're not getting hurt
by any of that.

You're not gonna
let me go outside with you?

Sure, it'll be fine.

I don't know. I don't know.

I think my daughter
is coming today.

How is
your book coming along?

It's not very interesting.

Why do you keep reading it?

I haven't
got anything else to do.

That's too bad.

Eunice!

Eunice!

Pat! You're still alive?

What did I tell you about

keeping your head elevated?

What am I gonna do with you?

There you go.

I saw that, bitch.

Girl, you are too much.

Good morning, everyone.

Good morning, miss.

A Mr. Shanrock here to see you.
Says he's an attorney.

Should I tell him you dead?

Patrick Pitsenbarger!
It's been years.

Have you seen
The Register today?

I'm sorry to let you know that,

a former client has passed away.

We've lost...

Rita Parker Sloan.

Rita specified in her will
that you

were to do her hair
and make-up for the funeral.

Uh, first showing is day
after tomorrow at 11:00 a.m.

Ransom Funeral Home will require
your services tomorrow night.

That photo is from a year ago.

Perhaps you could recreate
the same hairstyle?

- Split ends and all?
- He speaks!

Oh, I'll... I'll never forget...

how you used to make up Rita
for her Christmas parties

at the mansion.

Boy oh boy, Patrick...

you made Rita Parker Sloan

the most glamorous woman
in town.

She should
have updated her will.

I entered
her final revisions personally

a week before she died.

Rita left me as a client.
You remember?

I also remember
you were close friends,

dear friends.

I haven't pulled hair in years.

Naturally,
the will makes a provision

for services rendered.

Rita wants to make things right.

I'm retired.

Let bygones be bygones,
Patrick.

It's not healthy
to hold a grudge.

You would deny
a great woman her dying wish?

Show the gentleman the door.

Mr. Shanrock?

Bury her with bad hair.

The medication window

is now open. The medication...

You smoking in here, Pat?

Uh-uh.
Well, let's elevate your head.

Okay, stay calm, stay calm.

Breathe.

How many times
have you promised?

Where they at, Pat?

I know they are around here
somewhere.

Sometimes I think you want
to have another stroke.

Shaundell, that's all I have.

Miss Gertie
always had beautiful hair.

Remember this one?

Beautiful.

Don't worry.

We will clean it up.

Here, it's open.

- Morning.
- Hello.

Is the Ransom Funeral Home
still downtown?

Yes, sir.

Water Street, just down past
the Parker Sloan Mansion.

Have a nice day.

It's some hike
from here though.

Sir, are you all right?

Lemme give you a hand.

I'm fine.

Can I give you a ride to Ransom?

No, no, no.

I'm going shopping.

- Pack of Mores.
- Mores? For real?

Folks don't ask
for these nowadays.

Your wife still smokes Mores?

She adores them.

Knapp Beauty Supply,
still on Tiffin Avenue?

No clue, dude.

Uh, there's a fabulous salon
down by the waterfront,

Dee Dee Dale's place.

She's still alive?

- Dee Dee has everything.
- Thank you, miss,

but my client demands
high quality beauty products.

Like Vivanté.

They still make Vivanté?

5.23.

For one pack?

You can charge it instead?

- You cash checks?
- Personal?

Government.

I know what you're thinking.

"How could someone so flawless,

possibly be on Social Security?"

You took the words
right out of my mouth.

Two more packs of Mores
for the road.

21.92 is your change.

And some tickets.

Two, "Some Like it Hot",
eight, "Casino Royale"

and one,
"Fastest Road To One Million."

Hit me.

Hm.

That rock sure is different.

There are plenty more
where this came from.

David gave them all to me
and each one has a story.

I'll bet.

- I have a job to do.
- What's that?

I have to make a lady beautiful.
Her hair.

Is that what you do?

- You are a beautician?
- Yeah.

I was. Yeah, yeah.

I'm a hairdresser,
I was very successful...

- Oh!
- ...when I was young in this beautiful town.

I had the best clients,
the richest woman.

- Who was that?
- And then...

- What?
- Who was that?

Rita.

And then, my assistant opened
her own store

right across from me.

And took one of my most
important clients with her.

- That took some nerve.
- Yeah, and then my friend died.

Your friend, David?

Yeah, David died.
And I took a second mortgage.

But, the nephew took everything.
He got everything. I lost it.

- What did David die of?
- AIDS.

Hello.

Sandusky.

Now, you know, there's a lot
of things that I am not,

- and the one is one of them.
- I know that.

I know that, girl. I know it.

Honey, you are
a fiery one yourself too.

- This used to be...
- White?

My beauty supply store.

- I had an account.
- Oh.

You goin' way back in the day.

Whatchu looking for?

Perfect Powder Bleach
and Vivanté.

You won't get that here.

And baby, that smack
don't stick to nappy heads.

Now, if you want some
Kizzy's Daughter Pomade,

or Miss Zora's Buttercream.

Hell, even some juicy ass
Jerri Curl, I got you.

- Try Dee Dee Dale's downtown.
- I'd rather swallow mucus.

Oh!

Why don't you tell us,
how you really feel?

He right though, I graduated with
Dee Dee and she nasty.

Well, Dee Dee's the only game
in town these days, for real.

Aw, baby. You look
like your poodle just died.

I mean, we lost
our Sally Beauty.

Unless you finna drive
all the way out to Lorain.

Whoa, hold up, baby.
Slow your roll.

Now, your poor, white head
turned to a hot damn crisp.

Yes, it is.

I don't suppose
you sell sunscreen?

Sunscreen! You...

Oh, bless his heart.
Help him out.

Hmm.

Here, take Erma's hat.

I don't wanna hear nothing
about no skin cancer.

And Erma won't miss it?

No, baby. Erma's dead.

Erma don't miss shit.

Come on, sashay.

"Hattitude."

- "Hattitude"
- Ro Ro: Yes. That girl!

- My goodness.
- A mess.

Oh, child.

102.7.

It's gonna be another
scorcher out there, Sandusky.

Checking the weather,
it is hot!

Let's go.

What?
Oh!

- Bye.
- Bye.

Hey, mister.

Everyone's here.

Come out to the garden.

Can you hear me?

You tore my house down?

- She was just too far gone.
- We feel sick.

Did you find
anything down there?

- Like what?
- There was a box of Vivanté.

Ooh! Don't go anywhere.

Please, let's step outside.

Here, David and I
planted the calla lilies.

And there, was the fountain.

Oh, is that what that was?

My client,

Rita, donated the tiles
she brought back from Italy,

to do her master bath.

But then she changed her
mind about the color.

David built it.
Everything from scratch.

- Sounds like quite a guy.
- But he didn't have a will.

Oh.

His nephew inherited everything.

Well, at least something like
that can never happen today.

- Yeah. Great.
- Surprise! Remember this?

Where's my shampoo?

This was all that was
left in your old house.

I think I should go.

Will you come back
and visit sometime?

Yeah.

- Bye, Pat.
- Bye.

Thanks for the lunch!

Sandusky, here I come.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Eunice?

Eunice?

Eunice.

Shanrock and Shanrock.

Uh, Walter Shanrock,
please.

He's at the
courthouse until 4:00.

- What's this in reference to?
- Rita Parker Sloan.

Uh, cream and sugar.

Try Dee Dee Dale's downtown.

Dee Dee has everything.

I graduated
with Dee Dee. She nasty.

That'll be 83 cents.

Thank you.

Hey, mister.

Come to the garden.

So sorry
to hear about Rita.

Yes, great woman.

Mr. Shanrock.

- Mr. Shanrock?
- Pat?

I'll do Rita. One condition.

I need cash now.

Oh, I'm sure,
Rita would be tickled pink.

But there's a protocol, Pat.

I can't just make a withdrawal
from First Sandusky.

Oh no?
Your brother owns the bank!

We will be delighted to
prepare a certified check

for 25,000 dollars after
the estate clears probate.

- And how long will that take?
- No more than six months.

Six months?
I'll be dead by then!

Listen, buster. I know
we've had our ups and downs.

But like I told you,

when your partner's next
of kin retained the firm,

to settle his estate,
I don't make the rules.

And I most certainly
don't walk around town

with my client's money.

I have expenses. I have
to purchase beauty products.

Give me a loan. Some
kind of advance, please.

Would two tens help?

The Ransoms will have
Rita ready by 7:00 p.m. tonight.

Please be prompt. You know
Sherman doesn't like to wait.

Please stop!
Please stop! Please stop!

- Jeffrey, keep the change.
- Why, thank you.

I don't have
a two, I don't have three,

I don't have four,
but I have five.

Linda,
I'm gonna take you at five.

We're gonna do the straightener.

- Do you have an appointment?
- No.

Okay. I'm just gonna
put this in for you.

And, here's five percent off
of your next

and you'll have Caroline.
She's so good. Okay, darling?

- Thank you very much.
- Of course.

- Have a wonderful day.
- You too.

Oh my God.

Pat?

Is it you?

No.

You look so...

athletic.

Wow. Come on in.

Now, Tristan, check this out.

This man gave me
my first job in the business.

And now he is,
mopping your Vivanté.

Well...

he shouldn't have done that,
but after all,

you gotta catch this guy a break
'cause, he really is a legend.

This is Patrick Pitsenbarger.

He did all the socialites
of Sandusky back in the day.

That's right. Once upon a time.

Well, I can dust that off
for you if you want.

Yeah, you know,
I started off sweeping hair,

and then, I worked my way all
the way up to second chair.

I was so proud when Dee Dee
opened up her own shop.

Right across the street
from mine.

You know, Patrick
was always so particular.

And Dee Dee was very nice
to my clients.

In fact, she took my best
one with her when she quit.

Well, Sandusky is...

having a real comeback
right now, huh?

Maybe...

My business is doing great.
I know that.

I mean, I've had to expand
this place and make it

a multi-service salon
with all the amenities.

Clients want craft, Dee Dee,
not bells and whistles.

No...

God forbid, you ever listened
to anybody about anything.

You know what, they, uh...

they've discontinued the Vivanté

because it's...
It's got too high VOCs.

But you know,
I mean, there's plenty

of green and clean technologies

you know, that came up after you
lost your little shop.

But that's okay.
It's Rita's favorite.

Oh.

Well, maybe, you're gonna have
to tell Rita that in Heaven.

I mean,
you don't even know this,

but Rita kicked the bucket
this week.

My dear,
I'm on the way to Ransom.

No, you're not.

Sherman is doing her, in house.

Shanrock came personally.
And he begged me.

He begged me to do her hair.

Really?

In death, Rita remembered
that she had taste.

Taste or dementia? You decide.

But anyway, you know,
whatever you gotta do

to feel good about yourself.

Guess what, I'm gonna give
this to you for 2.49.

That's a dead stock discount.

Oh, you don't have the money?

Aw, I'm sorry.
I can't give it to you.

Because guess what,

I'm still waiting
for my last three paychecks.

All right... silly!

So it's...
I'm gonna give it to you.

It's just, I mean, I...

I don't know how much it's gonna
do you because, you know...

all the bald spots.

I didn't steal Rita
from you, Mister Pat.

You dropped the ball
and I was there to catch it.

Eunice?

Eunice!

WCPZ...

Hmm.

- You made me blonde.
- Excuse me?

I wasn't sure at first,

but then I saw the rings
and I knew.

I came to you
when I was nineteen. Remember?

Yes.

I wouldn't think
you would remember.

I only came in there once.

I'm sorry.

Are you kidding me?
You were wonderful.

I had a young one
at the time

and I couldn't keep up
with the blonde maintenance.

Or the price, as I recall.
You weren't cheap.

No?

I'm surprised
you still remember me.

Who could forget the
"Liberace of Sandusky?"

Was I that butch?

Can I help you find something?

How about everything?

Oh! Give me one second.

Ta-da!

I've been saving it
for the right customer.

Try it on?

So, how's it fitting?

Not sure
I can still pull it off.

Show me.

Don't move.

The icing on the cake.

You're starting
to look like you again.

Thank you, Sue.

How did you know my name?

You came for a perm

and I talked you
into a "Dorothy Hamill."

And you told me that you
dropped out of nursing school

because you got pregnant.

And the name of your son,
is Danny.

You know, sometimes,
it takes a while.

But it's all up there somewhere.

My husband thought
the "Dorothy Hamill" cut

was too short, by the way.

But, looking back...
I never felt prettier.

It's still in there.

I wish.

I must tell you something.

I don't have any money.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Sandusky.

Sandusky!

Pat is back.

It's a win-win proposition.

We...
We'll sharpen our pencils

and make it happen.

Uh, that's the funeral home.
Let me circle back to you later.

Mr. Ransom.

No, it's 50 extra chairs,
not 30.

She was very specific.

Oh, I appreciate you going
the extra mile for grandma.

Thank you, sir.

Hello?

I can still see you there.

- What do you want?
- I'm the hairdresser.

Oh my God. Pat?

I'm Dustin.

Rita's grandson.

So nice to finally meet you!

I remember when you were born.

Well, this calls for a highball.
Please.

Welcome. Please, come in.

Thank you.

We had hospice in the home.

Come.

Did you style her wedding?

All three of them.

Grandma chose all the photos
for her funeral display.

She was...
She was quite the perfectionist.

Is that what you call it?

So, how did you put up
with her all those years?

Canadian whiskey. Rocks.

I'll get it.

You must have some
great memories of this house.

I never set foot inside.

What?

What about all those parties?

I always knew my place.

I'll get some ice.

You have reached
Rita Parker Sloan.

Please leave a message,

and I shall return your call
at my earliest convenience.

Pat?

Another double, please.

- Oh, thirsty, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

In five minutes...

I'm supposed to make a
dead bitch look human.

Not sure
I'm up for the challenge.

At least she won't complain.

For once.

Was she a handful?

Oh! A demanding,
Republican monster,

but she had great taste,
in shoes.

Sounds like a nightmare.

I adored her.

Nobody remembers me.

I used to perform here...
every Saturday night.

Really?
What was your drag name?

Mister Pat.

Must have been before my time.

Yes. It was before
you were conceived.

- You see that stage?
- Uh-huh.

My lover, David, built that.
He was, uh, very handy.

In more ways than one.

I sewed the curtains,

and Eunice
put the glitter in the paint.

Every queen in town pitched
in to open this dump.

But maybe you're too young
to know who Tim and Mike was.

They opened the bar.

There were so many people
I remember.

Miss Cheesecake, Dirty Ankle?

And there was one very
interesting customer.

Harry.

He was a truck driver
and he came every Saturday

to see me perform.

"Mister Pat."
He was very nice.

Well, I heard
that most of the regulars

stopped coming out. But...
But maybe your friends will

will make it tonight,
for old times' sake.

This place was family.

What's happened with
the crystal chandelier,

that hung above the dance floor?

It got old. They took it down.

Huh.

Another of Rita's hand-me-downs.

If she would have known,
what these crystals have seen.

Oh!

- What? Where?
- Tonight's the last night.

I don't understand.

Harvey sold out to
some young gay couple.

They're turning
the whole building into this

straight, gastro micro brew pub.

"Gastro" what?

They are installing giant tanks
to brew artisan craft beer.

But where will we dance?

- Here. Keep the change.
- Hey, big spender.

I'm back.

Why don't you see me?

I'm right here.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Pick it up, guys.
We're falling behind.

Send that arrangement back.
Everything must be perfect.

Taxi!

- Where to?
- I don't know. Just drive!

Grandma chose all the photos

for her funeral display.

Rita wants
to make things right.

God forbid

you ever listen
to anybody about anything.

Eunice?

Eunice.

Yeah?

Holy hell!

Pat, you're still alive?

- You're still sucking cock?
- Christ on the cross, queen.

A bitch can't even
powder her nose

without getting
the third degree.

Now, step back,
lemme get a good look at you.

You look fantastic.

Shit, I just saw your shoes.

Oh baby, I missed you.

I missed you too.
Don't overdo it.

Oh, I always do.

Hmm.

I heard the Fruit and Nut
is closing. You going?

I haven't set foot in years.

Why not?

Gay bars are so '90s.

The Velvet Slipper's gone
in Lorain

and the bar in Mansfield's
about to close too.

- Our safe places.
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, who needs
the Fruit and Nut

when they can
hold hands at Applebee's?

Besides, that place
made me a goddamn drunk.

Do you remember what we
performed for the opening night?

Oh, and thank God
I talked you out

of that Marlene Dietrich number.

But your Shirley Bassey
routine brought down the house!

And you did both,
the Peaches and Herb.

- At the same time.
- At the same time.

Girl, you taught me everything
I never wanted to know.

- You got a call.
- Oops.

- One of your boys?
- Lemme tell ya something.

The trade on here,
would make your head spin.

Show me.

Ah!

I do better on here,
than I ever did in the bars.

Yet, here you are,
cruising the tearoom.

I like to cover my bases.

What on earth?

What on earth are they doing?

These daddies with their...

- babies.
- Mm-hmm.

I wouldn't even know
how to be gay anymore.

Tell that to your pantsuit.

Great. Great job, buddy.

I'm happy for them.

And jealous as hell.

Those kids will remember them,

long after they have gone.

And who will remember us?

- You left a big mark.
- On who?

Those gay dads should
drop to their knees

and kiss your rings.

Which one?

Especially the cubic zirconia
on your left ring finger.

'Cause bitch, you know that's
the only one that's real.

You evil bitch.

I went to see David today.

Is he still dead?

My name was on the tombstone.

No shit.
You paid for the damn thing.

Today was
the first time I saw it.

Don't tell me, you are
still mad at that old whore.

Jesus, honey,
when are you gonna move on?

Why didn't you tell me
about my house?

I went there.
There was nothing there.

You don't tell someone
in the goddamn nursing home

their house has been demolished.

It's bad etiquette.

But you could have come
and said, "Hi."

At least you had a home.

And a David.

I had a house, and a David.

And both are gone.

But you are here.

You're not gone.

Eunice.

Eunice.

And you old bitch,
sitting next to me.

How did it go?

I quit the bitch.

Frozen fucking pizza lit
the toaster oven on fire.

But I extinguished
the blaze, girl.

- I am here, I am alive!
- And did you select a song?

I barely survive
a DiGiorno inferno

and you trifle me
for song selection?

Shame on you, Gabriel. Shame.

Is Velma all right?

One Coco Roco
and she will be just fine.

Look like you seen a ghost.

Gabriel sent on me
to check on you.

I dropped this bitch
on a Crockpot.

It's the last night,
I have no idea what I'm doing.

Take the edge off.

Gorgeous skin.

- Where are you from?
- Hancock Street.

Nice.

You been there lately?

- Been performing long?
- Two years.

I finally start to get good
and they close the damn bar.

What's your act?

Batten down the hatches, boys,

man your harpoons and make way
for Miss Velma Humpback!

- "Thar she blows!"
- Aw, yes, queen.

Forget this little town,
Miss Velma.

You'd be big in Cleveland.

Well, ain't you
just the sweetest thing?

- Oh, hell no.
- Sit down. Close your eyes.

I'm a professional. No peeking.

No peeking.

Voila.

- I love your rings.
- Thanks. Each one has a story.

Oh yeah? What are they?

I don't remember.

I forgot how much
I missed this.

- Dancing?
- Our people!

Slay, girl!

Sir.

Sir, you sustained
a serious head injury!

Please get back in your room.

I'm late for my funeral.

Sir,
get your ass back here.

Get the hell out of the way.

Bitch.

Sherman.
I'm... I'm sorry!

You're too late.

Oh. Hey, Pat.

She's a real hot mess in there.

Total resting bitch face.

Resting dead bitch face.

She needs your touch.

Get Dee Dee back.

Don't you dare.

Dee Dee would do a better job.

Bullshit.

I didn't know
that you looked that bad.

Well then fix me, goddammit.

When David died,
you didn't come to the funeral.

And now you want me
to rescue yours?

Pat, for Christ's sake,
I never even met David.

We talked about him,

every Friday at 4:00
for 33 years.

You know,
I don't do well at funerals.

Really?

I adore them.

You're not making this easy,
Patrick.

I'm trying to make this right.

I know I was your servant...

but I thought I was your friend.

You knew every
goddamn secret I ever had.

And you never listened once
to mine.

It was another world
back then, Pat.

People evolve, they let go.

Maybe you should too.

Have a fun funeral.

I was embarrassed! Okay?

About how David died.

When I did let you know...

how much it hurt...

...that you weren't there.

Because I needed you there
at that moment.

Where were you?

I left you.

And the whole town followed.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

You're going to be beautiful.

I'll make you beautiful.

Yes.

Pat.

Thank you.

May I share something with you?

I was 15 when Grandma Rita
sat me down

and asked me if there was
anything I needed to tell her.

We were so conservative.

I was scared to death
to tell her the truth.

But finally...

I did.

"Don't worry," she said.

"My best friend's gay too."

We stayed up all night.

She told me all about
you and David.

Even though
I never really knew you...

I want you to know
you changed my life.

Oh, baby, I missed you.

Hey, mister.

Bye, everybody!

Come and see me sometimes.

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