All language subtitles for Hack My Life s03e15 Co-Hackitation.eng

Brooke: Life hacks are supposed
to make your life better.

Kevin: So if any of these hacks
make it worse,

stop what you're doing
immediately.

Brooke:
Hack at your own risk, hackers.

Aaah!

Kevin: "Hack 911" is filmed
on location as it happens.

Man: Attention, all units,
we have reports of a couple

just moved in together

after only six
months of dating.

-Oh!
-God!

-Yikes!
-Let's go!

[ Siren wails ]

Let's go.

♪♪

[ Siren wails ]

Man: This is stupid.
I had it under --

hack 911 coming in!
I'm gonna kill you!

No, no, this is --
whoa, whoa, whoa!

You are doing exactly
what I'm talking about.

Everyone,
calm down right now.

Tell us what's going on.

We're late for another
dinner reservation.

Every time we have plans,
he waits until we're there

to realize that he may
have left the stove on.

-Ooh.
-What?

Everything
is gonna be fine.

I have the solution
for you guys.

Okay?
Stand back.

Wait, are you calling
for backup?

No, I am taking a photo
of the stove.

That way, the next time
panic starts to set in,

all you have to do
is look at the photo

instead of driving
all the way home.

-That's it?
-That's it.

Thanks, guys.
I'll show you the door.

[ Glass shatters ]

-Whoa!
-Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Brooke: Tonight,
on "hack my life"...

-Godspeed.
-Look out below!

-Oh!
-Kevin lets go of his baggage

to test hacks
for safeguarding souvenirs?

Oh!

Kevin: Lazy trainer Brooke shows
you how to make massive gains

without setting foot in a gym.

You got to paint it
and want it!

Brooke: Plus, a hack that
promises to transform your baby

into a mopping machine.

You missed a spot.
Get back in there.

Kevin:
Prepare yourself to move...

You can rest
when you're dead!

...groove, and get bruised.

This is "hack my life."

Hey, vacation's over, friend.

It's time to pack your bags
and fly home with your tan

and your highly
breakable souvenirs.

[ Chuckles ]

Ooh.

If there's one thing you can
count on when you're traveling,

it's that your luggage
is going to get manhandled,

so today, we're
testing out some hacks

that could keep the fragile
stuff in your suitcase

nice and safe as it arrives
to its final destination.

This is hack vs. Hack.

[ Cheering ]

Today, I'm here
with the Neal family.

We've got papa Steve, mom Alice,
and their son Joshua,

who are wrapping up
a whirlwind trip

to the city of angels.

You've got the souvenir t-shirt.

Did you amass a lot of souvenirs
while you were in town?

Way too many.

Yeah, I love Hollywood
boulevard, it was awesome.

Really? The graffiti
and shattered dreams?

Smell of desperation
every morning?

I'm sorry,
I'm a miserable person.

Oh, that's okay.

[ Laughs ]

Well, in case
you didn't notice,

each one of you have
two snow globes in front of you,

but they're very, very fragile.

So today, we want to test out
some hacks that could protect

these delicate snow globes
from mishandling

as you travel back home to Ohio.

The three hacks are right here
underneath this sheet.

Are you ready to see them?

-Yes.
-Sure.

Here...

They are!

-Oh.
-Cool.

We've got popcorn,
pool floaties, and magazines.

You each get to choose one,
then you'll pack your suitcases.

The winner of this hack vs. Hack
will be the person

who has the most snow globes
intact when I am done dropping

your precious memories
from that ladder.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

All right, Joshua,
you are the first pick.

Which hack would you like?

Um, I'm gonna have to go
with the popcorn.

I'm pretty hungry.
Alice?

Oh, the floaties,
for sure.

All right, Steve,
you've got the magazines.

All right, you've got
two minutes to safely

pack your snow globes.

Let's get packing.

Joshua, the tactic here
is just gonna...

-Well, not all of it.
-...Dump the popcorn.

Not all of it, no.

Okay, we're off
to a great start.

Joshua is eating his hack.

Steve is ripping away.

Alice is just drowning
in floaties.

That's ironic.

[ Alice laughs ]

And there goes junior
filling popcorn

around the edges of the bag.

And there's mom pulling
for a second floatie.

Alice: Oh, my gosh.

Dad is ripping
the magazine pages

and layering them
between the snow globes.

Sounds like a sound strategy.

Well, it sounds good
in my mind.

Time is almost up.

3...

2...

1.
Time is up.

Hands off your hacks.

All right, the suitcases
are stuffed.

Let's drop some bags.

♪♪

All right, Joshua,
you're up first.

Godspeed.

-Ahh!
-Oh.

[ Laughter ]

No glass crackage.

But who knows?

Alice, you're up next.

Goodbye, snow globes.
[ Laughs ]

She made peace
with her souvenirs.

Good luck to you, Alice.

-Huh!
-Aww.

-Oh, no!
-Ohh!

[ Laughter ]

-Oh, no.
-That one's a goner.

Steve, unless
this thing explodes...

I hope it does.

All right.
Here we go, magazines.

3, 2...

Oh, I dropped on 2.

Ooh, that's dented.

That one hurt me.

-Should we take a look?
-Yeah.

Oh!

Still have one, though.

Yeah, there we go.
That's solid, okay.

Let's see how
the floaties fared.

Oh, gosh.

Ooh.

Okay, all right.
We got one.

But I remember all the fluid
leaking out, so there must be.

It just shattered --
look at it.

Okay, that one's
definitely shattered.

So floatie and popcorn
are officially tied.

Dad, I haven't seen
any leaking yet.

Ah.
One survived.

One survived.
Oh, that's one in perfect condition.

Is there
a subtle leak here?

I don't see it.

Winner!

That's two
perfect snow globes.

Congrats to you, Steve.

Hashtag, "dad winning,"
right there.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

♪♪

Brooke: Whoo!

[ Grunting ]

Yeah!

Ugh!

Ugh.
Hey, guys.

If you're anything like me,
you hate going to the gym.

But did you know that all of
those chores and procrastinating

that you do to avoid exercise
is actually exercise?

Hell, yeah.

So today, we're gonna hack
some ways to burn calories

without it feeling anything
like a gym routine.

Mopping the floor for an hour
straight burns over

300 calories.

How many calories does it burn
to call a cleaning lady?

Significantly less.

Now we're gonna hit
the next station.

Just 58 more minutes.

For all you hackers who believe
in the Chinese discipline

of feng shui, good news,

redecorating your space
for 30 minutes

can burn up to 200 calories.

You are crushing it
with the calories

and crushing it
with your design acumen.

-Feel good.
-But you know what?

I don't feel like you want it
'cause this room is a mess.

Let's redecorate, okay?

You can rest when you're dead.
You can rest when you're dead.

I'll be at the next station.

In the hour it takes
to paint a large room,

you can burn over 200 calories.

Yes!
Push through the pain.

You got to paint it and want it.

Spend an hour in a tub
filled with 104 degree water

and you'll melt away
130 calories.

All right, Mara, relax.

Oh, yeah.

I don't know. I don't see you
relaxing hard enough.

I need to see you relax harder.
Do you want it?

Do you believe
in this relaxation?

That's my girl.

Mara's the modified version
of the bathtub workout.

She's already ingested
half a bottle of wine

and a few quaaludes.

Okay, we're moving on
to another workout.

[ Sighs ] I'm exhausted.

I don't think I could make it
to the gym if I wanted to.

Plus, I don't need to
because sleeping

for an hour burns 63 calories.

I've Brooke Van poppelen,
your lazy trainer,

and I want you to get out there
and live your best lazy life...

As soon as you wake up.

Kevin: Coming up, can you crawl
your way to clean?

Soak it up, babies!

And later, a hack that
takes the frustration

out of pitting fruit.

You like that, pomegranate!

Kevin: It's all happening
when the hack strikes back.

Kevin:
We now return to "hack 911."

[ Glass shatters ]

-Ahh! I can't this anymore.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Everything was fine
just a second ago.

What happened?

When we were dating, you never
had a single dirty dish

in your house.

I just don't get it.

I just -- I hid the dirty dishes
under the bed before you came.

-Boo.
-What?

Doesn't that take more effort
than just washing them?

This relationship is doomed.

No.
No, it is not.

Not while
we're on the case.

All you got to do is put
a little cling wrap

on your plate before you eat,

and then remove it
when you're done.

Just like that,
dinner is served.

Maybe disgusting, but better
than dishes under the bed.

See, guys, moving in together
can be messy,

but your dishes
don't have to be.

Looks like our
job here is done.

Bye, guys.

You left
the stove on.

There are some hackers
who are so good

they can actually sell
their hack on the Internet.

But if hacks can be ordered,
don't we at least owe it

to our audience to try them out?

And if it's a good hack,
we decide whether to keep it

or send it back.

Kevin: This is hack delivery.

-[ Gasps ]
-Ta-da!

So, this is
the baby mop.

It's essentially a onesie
with mop pieces

sewn in strategic places

so that your child can clean
the floor while it crawls.

$6 American dollars
worth of material.

Should we put it to the test?

Yeah.

Before trying out
the real thing,

we made some mini versions
for these creepy robot dolls.

So we're gonna test them out
with some spilled milk.

All right, babies,
do your thing.

[ Dolls squealing ]

Soak it up!
Soak it up, you little critters.

There you go!
There they go!

Don't just splash it around.

There you go.
Come to daddy.

Come to daddy.
Got a little traction issue.

You missed a spot.
Get back in there.

Get back in there.

This floor
is looking drier.

It took
a lot of guidance...

Yep.
...And a fleet of robo-babies

to clean up
a very small spill,

but an actual baby
crawling around,

doing natural zig-zags
and patterns and stuff

as opposed to just
straight robotic line,

that might actually work.

Kevin, what are you --

hi, buddy.

Oh, no.

This is wolf.

He's a mop!
He's so ready to clean.

Yeah, let's try
a little liquid lunch.

Oh, boy.
Put that mop to the test.

Ready?
How's your baby mop outfit?

There you go.

Ohh...boy.

He's gonna get this, Brooke.
Yeah, he's gonna.

He's gonna crush this.

Okay, we just got to get the mop
on there and less the hands.

Leave.
Oh, there we go.

Super absorbent.
There we go.

[ Crying ]
I know, okay.

Okay, okay.
Aww, mister!

Buddy, I know.

[ Crying ]

You almost got it.
I know.

Ohh.

That's how we feel
about this hack, too.

Oh, there you have it,
the baby mop.

You know, kev, let's start out
with a few of the positives.

It fit the baby.

But the biggest problem was that
the baby absolutely hated it.

Yeah.
So what do you say, kev?

Oh, I say
we send it back.

Don't put your baby
in a mop costume, all right?

Goodbye, baby mop.

♪♪

♪♪

Kevin: Joining the office
carpool seemed like a good idea.

"It'll save money," you thought.

"It's good for the environment,"
you reasoned.

-Come on, get in.
-Let's go!

I'm gonna be late
for my meeting.

Now you're stuck
shuttling the goons

you call co-workers around.

And to keep your sanity,
you'll need

a hack line of defense
against your commuter chaos.

Nancy from hr
loves her morning coffee,

but given how much her
to-go cup leaks,

she must hate
your car's interior.

To keep the fabric
on your car seats

from getting an unsolicited
brown finish,

folding a straw in half
will make the perfect plug

to keep that caffeine contained.

Here's to a "java" well done.

Frank in accounting always
hits the gym before work.

Really, uh, really hit it hard
this morning, eh, frank?

-Oh, yeah.
-His funk is powerful.

But not as powerful
as the odor-defeating power

of this hacked
car air freshener.

Just add pine scented essential
oil to a wooden clothes pin

and clip it to your car's vent.

This air freshener will blow
frank's funk away

every time you turn on the a/c.

[ Horns honking ]

Uh-oh.

All this stop-and-go traffic
isn't sitting well

with Denise from admin.

Denise: [ Belches ] I think
I'm gonna be sick.

She's carsick, and there's
no time to stop.

Help Denise get a grip
on her stomach

by gently grabbing her hand.

Hey, let me show
you something.

Then, using your thumb,
make a circular pattern

on her inner wrist
for two to three minutes.

That's actually
kind of working.

It's a pressure point,
and applying slow,

steady motion reduces nausea.

Okay, that's good.

You made it to work,
and just in time,

because Denise looks like
she needs some personal space.

Time to ask for that raise
because you've got

a hack line of defense.

[ Alarm beeps ]

Get your game face on
'cause it's time for a pop quiz.

Trying to get seeds out of
a pomegranate is the pits.

Get out,
you little maggots!

Hey, we've all been there,
but don't torture yourself.

There's a simple solution
right at your black,

leather-clad fingertips.

It's time for a pop quiz.

Ohh,
I loves quizzes.

Okay. To get the seeds out
of a pomegranate, should you,

"a," squeeze lightly around
the middle of the fruit?

"B," give the pomegranate
a tap with a wooden spoon?

Or, "c," scrape out
the seeds with the heel

on those very
intimidating-looking stilettos.

So my options are either
choke out the seeds,

spank out the seeds,

or walk all over this little
pathetic piece of fruit

until it breaks down?

I feel like you're twisting
my words a little bit,

but yeah, those are
basically your choices.

I'll say "a,"
choke out the seeds.

All right, that might work
for your client over there,

but the answer
is actually "b,"

the wooden spoon technique.

Cut your pomegranate in two
and give each half a nice,

firm thwack.

[ Grunting ]

You like that,
pomegranate, huh?

Oh, it likes it.

Oh, look at that.
Let's get back to work.

Want to stick around?

Uh-oh, looks like my bubble's
floating away.

Up next, hear that?

It's our spot the hack
speaker test.

Behind here
is the answer.

Ohh!

Find out if these speakers
are trash or treasure

when we return.

Hack heads, who's ready to unbox
some hacks with me today?

That was a rhetorical question
because I'm gonna unbox

these hacks whether
you're ready or not.

So let's get to it.

This is hax unboxed.

Today, I have a pair
of water-bottle sandals.

You can go to
an exclusive night club,

show off on your tinder date.

Look at this --
this foot has six toes.

I'm gonna send this
to my cousin Eddie.

He's got six toes.

Step one, empty the bottle.

Are you kidding me?
I have to drink all of this?

I ain't got time for that.

Oh, I already
don't want anymore.

♪♪

Oh, we have to gently
smash the bottles.

I think we're smashed.

All right, so now that I am
ready to put this on,

all you got to do is make sure

that you have some leeway
in here, little divot there.

Then you just slide it on.

Look at that.

Okay, you just got to just
sometimes just wiggle it on.

Boom.
These look great.

So I'm gonna walk around in
these and see how they hold up.

It's not the easiest --

oh! Oh, you got
to break these in.

♪♪

Interesting.
Not what I was expecting.

More work than what it's worth,

but continue to like,
comment, subscribe,

and keep on hacking
'cause it's fun.

So you've spent hours
curating a party playlist

of the frothiest jock jams,

and you want to blast it out
to all your friends,

but you know
that's gonna set you back

the cost of a pricey
smartphone speaker.

Or is it?

This is spot the hack.

So to hack your own
smartphone speaker,

you're just gonna
need a few items.

We need a paper tube,
some plastic cups,

and a pair of scissors.

So first you want to cut a slit
in your paper towel holder,

preferably the size
of the device

that you're gonna
be fitting inside.

Then you want to cut some
holes into these plastic cups

because you will be jamming
the paper towel holder

inside of them.

Perfect.

Once the phone is inserted,
you can aim the plastic cup

wherever you want
the sound to go.

It's time to get
this party started.

To test if people can hear
the difference,

we set up two
listening booths.

We've hidden our
hacked speaker in one

and the store-bought
speaker in the other.

So let's see who can
spot the hack.

Step right up, see if you
can spot the hack.

I've got music.

Anybody wants to do it?

Hello, there.
Hi, there.

How you doing?
You have a quick second?

-Uh...
-Just two seconds, two seconds.

I'm Kevin.
Scott.

What if I told you that you
could hack a portable speaker

that's just as good
as that $20 thing

that you bought online --
would you believe me?

I don't think so.

You really don't,

but we're gonna put it
to the test right now.

I have
two soundproof rooms.

There's a store-bought
smartphone speaker.

The other has something
that I hacked together

in 15 seconds
for 15 cents.

All right.
So I'm gonna have you go

into each room,
listen to some music,

and then come on out and tell me
if you can spot the hack.

Okay.

[ Music playing ]

All you have to do
is hire a couple friends,

have them stand
around with cameras,

you can get people
to do whatever you want.

[ Music playing ]

This is the trunk of my
oldsmobile, hop right in.

Don't worry about
the tarp and the rope.

This is gonna end well for you.

Come on out, Scott.

All right.
Step right up.

First room is the blue room.

All right.
They're very trustworthy.

Sounds like a speaker
from the '80s.

Yeah.

Doesn't sound bad.

[ Music playing ]

[ Music stops ]

-We're done.
-Song's over.

Kevin: Keep that music
in your head.

Let me let you into
the old yellow room here.

Try to pay attention
to what sounds different.

Start the music.

[ Music playing ]

Okay, this is
a little less sharp.

[ Music continues ]

All right, come on out.

So which room do you think
contains our hack?

I would say
the yellow one.

The blue one, the music
sounded a lot clearer,

whereas the yellow one
sounded a little awful.

From the blue room,
that speaker definitely sounded

a little bit louder
and a little bit sharper.

I thought this one was much
better than the one

in the blue room.

The yellow one
has the hack speaker.

I think the blue one
has the hack.

I think the yellow room
contains the hack.

-Yellow.
-I think it's the blue one.

Kevin: All right, so five people
think that the speaker

in the yellow room is our hack.

Let's check out the yellow one.

Behind here is the answer.

Is the yellow booth our hack?

No, it's not.
It's the store-bought speaker.

Oh!

So let's find out what fooled
your highly trained ears.

Ready to see
this hack?

Yes.

No way! Oh, my gosh!

Wow.

Two plastic cups
and a paper towel roll.

That is cool.
I like that.

-That's it.
-Oh, my gosh.

Stop wasting your money
on expensive sound systems!

The hack version,
it works just as good.

If you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go get laughed at.

♪♪

Brooke: Coming up,
Kevin gives an old shoebox

the Hollywood treatment.

TV magic!

See if this home theater hack
is worthy of the big screen

when we return.

Kevin: We now return for
the conclusion of "hack 911."

You know, we actually,
one time on our job,

saved a couple who'd only been
together for like six months.

That just happened
on this shift.

Sorry, is it too soon
to reference a job well done?

Man: Attention, all units,
we have reports of

a bright light assault
from a couple

who just moved in together.

Too soon!

Hack 911 coming in.

Eyes! Aah!

-Hey.
-Hey!

What happened?

Oh, my eyes.

I'm blind.

He blinded me.

-I --
-whoa!

-Goodness!
-Ned! Ned!

I don't know what happened.
I was just using my phone

as a flashlight, and I guess
it's brighter than I thought.

Just turn it off.

I need to read to fall asleep.
It's my thing.

Okay, slowly put the phone
on the ground

and slide it over to me.

Slowly.

When are people gonna learn
these things are not toys?

You've got to use them
responsibly.

That means taking
a bottle of water

and putting it
on your phone,

diffusing the light to create
a soft personal lantern.

Wow.
Incredible.

Now I can read
without blinding you.

And in the soft light
of that lantern,

now I can see
what really matters.

Living together
is about compromise.

It's not about how long
we've been dating.

It's about making it work
because we want to be together.

It's a little bit about the
hacks, too, though, right?

-Jack.
-What?

You guys
are still here?

-We get it.
-Good night, guys.

Kevin:
"Hack 911," to protect and hack.

♪♪

Hey, welcome to
"let's make a thing!"

Where one man's trash
is another man's treasure.

Let's see what's in our box.

Oh.

A water bottle.

A shoebox.

Little magnifying glass.

Ah, but look
a little bit closer

'cause we're gonna use
this lens to hack movie night

and turn a shoebox
into a full-blown projector.

The lens of our projector's
going to go

on the shorter side of the box.

We're just gonna
trace around it.

Got to cut a hole
for the image to go through.

It's a circle.

Look at that,
the circle's cut out.

TV magic!

But there's gonna be
a little bit of gap,

so you want to close that

by just lining the hole
with some tape.

Now we take our magnifying glass
and secure it to the box.

Next, you'll need
your smartphone.

The smartphone's going
to be the screen

with which the image
is being projected from.

We need something to hold it
inside the box,

and that is where the
water bottle comes into play.

So half of it should be
a little shallow.

And you want it to come up
higher in the back.

Pop the cellphone inside,
it will rest comfortably

inside our projector.

A few things -- you want
to put your screen

brightness all the way up.

Two, you want to lock
the orientation settings

on your phone.

You want to put the phone
in upside down.

This magnifying glass
is a convex lens,

which is going to
magnify the image,

but in process,
going to reverse it.

That said, we can press play
on our video, dim the lights,

and let the fun begin.

[ Laughing ]

Get her off, he's great!

Oh, man.
It works!

Not only does it work, but it
just so happens to be playing

the best show on TV,
the best show on the Internet,

and now it's best show
from a shoebox

because we just hacked a thing.

Shh, the best part.

Shut up!

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0