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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,838
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
2
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:08,876
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
3
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:12,946
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,950
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
5
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:21,054
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo ♪
6
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:23,490
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
7
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:24,491
[laughs]
8
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,626
Ooh! [growls]
9
00:00:26,511 --> 00:00:27,913
Mommy!
Aaaaaaah!
10
00:00:27,979 --> 00:00:30,015
Duncan!
Duncan!
11
00:00:33,485 --> 00:00:37,556
♪ Ah, Papa's in the kitchen
flippin' them pancakes ♪
12
00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,057
♪ Making 'em bitchin' ♪
13
00:00:39,124 --> 00:00:41,593
Duncan, I can make
a quarter disappear, watch.
14
00:00:41,660 --> 00:00:43,829
[blows sharply]
No, that's my lunch money.
15
00:00:43,895 --> 00:00:46,298
Aww, it didn't work.
16
00:00:46,365 --> 00:00:47,532
Oh, thank God.
17
00:00:47,599 --> 00:00:49,134
It's fries as an entrée day.
18
00:00:49,201 --> 00:00:52,170
Ugh, I need to be magic
by Wednesday for showandtell.
19
00:00:52,237 --> 00:00:54,873
Bradley's bringing in
a big seashell.
20
00:00:54,940 --> 00:00:56,675
When they hear
you're from Boca Raton,
21
00:00:56,742 --> 00:00:59,044
they're gonna lose their minds.
22
00:00:59,111 --> 00:01:00,579
Mmm, mmm, mmm,
23
00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:04,816
black on the outside,
liquid on the inside.
24
00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:06,051
Where's Kimberly?
25
00:01:06,118 --> 00:01:08,086
Okay, Kimberly,
you just gotta say,
26
00:01:08,153 --> 00:01:10,088
"Marcus,
you wanna get Froyo sometime?"
27
00:01:10,155 --> 00:01:12,924
You can do this.
[line rings]
28
00:01:12,991 --> 00:01:14,993
Oh, hey, Marcus.
[meekly] It's me, Kimberly.
29
00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:18,130
I was just calling to see, um,
if there's school today.
30
00:01:18,196 --> 00:01:20,298
On a weekday?
Yeah, there's school.
31
00:01:20,365 --> 00:01:23,235
Interesting. Interesting.
[chuckles nervously]
32
00:01:23,301 --> 00:01:27,639
Mm, yup.
So I gotta go...to school.
33
00:01:27,706 --> 00:01:29,474
Right, right. Froyo?
34
00:01:29,541 --> 00:01:30,575
What?
35
00:01:30,642 --> 00:01:31,943
Bye.
36
00:01:34,045 --> 00:01:36,248
[sniffles] Morning.
37
00:01:36,314 --> 00:01:38,116
You sound and look terrible,
honey.
38
00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:41,686
But I took that vow,
so here I am.
39
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,255
Call in sick, Mom.
Watch "Maury."
40
00:01:43,321 --> 00:01:45,157
It's uncles who dress
like sluts day.
41
00:01:45,223 --> 00:01:47,959
Tempting, but I've never
taken a sick day.
42
00:01:48,026 --> 00:01:49,961
The people in this town
count on me
43
00:01:50,028 --> 00:01:52,631
to keep our streets
uncongested and running.
44
00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:53,832
Speaking of running,
45
00:01:53,899 --> 00:01:56,802
you have some snot
running into your mouth.
46
00:01:56,868 --> 00:01:59,604
As long as we both shall live.
47
00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:02,874
My medicinal shake
will clear this right up.
48
00:02:02,941 --> 00:02:05,677
Let's see.
Warm ginger ale.
49
00:02:05,744 --> 00:02:08,113
Add a little
apple cider vinegar,
50
00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:12,417
equal parts DayQuil and NyQuil,
and a touch of Grammy's ashes.
51
00:02:12,484 --> 00:02:14,553
[liquid fizzing]
52
00:02:14,619 --> 00:02:16,455
[gulping]
53
00:02:16,521 --> 00:02:17,823
Ah!
54
00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:20,492
Parking scofflaws
of Oakdale, beware.
55
00:02:20,559 --> 00:02:24,863
The streets will run red with
the ink of my fuzzy troll pen.
56
00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:26,965
Let's get 'em.
57
00:02:27,032 --> 00:02:30,368
I'm pouring Grammy
on my pancake.
58
00:02:34,039 --> 00:02:35,874
Hate to do this to you,
Coach Walters,
59
00:02:35,941 --> 00:02:38,577
but you're parked in front
of a fire hydrant.
60
00:02:38,643 --> 00:02:40,145
It was an emergency!
61
00:02:40,212 --> 00:02:42,481
Mega Ball
hit $60 million today.
62
00:02:42,547 --> 00:02:43,648
Well, I hope you win,
63
00:02:43,715 --> 00:02:45,484
but I still have
to give you this.
64
00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:46,651
I don't recognize
65
00:02:46,718 --> 00:02:48,753
the authority
of a woman in pants.
66
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:49,821
[grunts]
67
00:02:49,888 --> 00:02:51,656
[gasps]
[fabric rips]
68
00:02:51,723 --> 00:02:53,124
Mm.
69
00:02:54,359 --> 00:02:55,460
Hmm?
70
00:02:57,896 --> 00:02:59,030
Excuse me, ma'am.
71
00:02:59,097 --> 00:03:00,565
Your truck is parked
in two spots,
72
00:03:00,632 --> 00:03:01,933
but you only fed one meter.
73
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,969
Ain't my fault
I got a big un.
74
00:03:04,035 --> 00:03:06,171
Maybe your spots are too small.
75
00:03:06,238 --> 00:03:10,041
I'm citing you for being over
the line and a naughty bumper.
76
00:03:10,108 --> 00:03:13,345
Your son did not kick
my honor student's ass.
77
00:03:13,411 --> 00:03:15,046
That ain't
how the sticker tells it.
78
00:03:15,113 --> 00:03:18,383
Suck my fumes, lady.
79
00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:20,218
[coughing]
80
00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:26,458
Neil LaDouche.
81
00:03:26,525 --> 00:03:28,426
Oh!
82
00:03:28,493 --> 00:03:29,794
When are you due?
83
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,196
When are you due?
84
00:03:31,263 --> 00:03:32,731
You did not just say that.
85
00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:34,199
Sorry, I'm hormonal.
86
00:03:34,266 --> 00:03:35,600
Okay, we're done with this.
87
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:37,202
Oh, my water's breaking.
88
00:03:37,269 --> 00:03:38,870
[shouts]
89
00:03:38,937 --> 00:03:41,306
[growls] Eat it, LaDouche.
90
00:03:41,373 --> 00:03:42,707
Eat it.
Swallow.
91
00:03:42,774 --> 00:03:45,310
This is a miscarriage...
of justice.
92
00:03:45,377 --> 00:03:46,978
[gasps]
93
00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:48,680
[camera shutter snaps]
94
00:03:50,448 --> 00:03:53,251
"Eat it, LaDouche.
Eat it. Swallow."
95
00:03:53,318 --> 00:03:54,986
What do you have to say
for yourself?
96
00:03:55,053 --> 00:03:57,822
Everyone in this town sucks
and treats me like crap.
97
00:03:57,889 --> 00:03:59,491
You're suspended for a week.
98
00:03:59,558 --> 00:04:01,493
No! I love this job.
99
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,496
Turn in your ticket book.
[sighs]
100
00:04:04,563 --> 00:04:06,398
And the one in your sock.
101
00:04:06,464 --> 00:04:07,866
Damn it.
102
00:04:09,701 --> 00:04:11,803
But who's gonna take my place?
103
00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:13,572
Hey, Duncan's hotheaded mom.
104
00:04:13,638 --> 00:04:16,007
Mr. Mitch? You're a teacher.
105
00:04:16,074 --> 00:04:18,209
What do you know about dealing
with ungrateful people
106
00:04:18,276 --> 00:04:20,946
that don't realize you just
want what's best for them?
107
00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,614
I took
the civil service test.
108
00:04:22,681 --> 00:04:24,015
I could do any government job.
109
00:04:24,082 --> 00:04:25,951
Next week,
I'm postmaster general.
110
00:04:26,017 --> 00:04:27,919
Come on,
I'll give you a lift home.
111
00:04:27,986 --> 00:04:28,720
[grunts]
112
00:04:28,787 --> 00:04:30,689
If your back feels
a little wet,
113
00:04:30,755 --> 00:04:32,791
don't worry,
it's just my tears.
114
00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:36,494
[upbeat music]
115
00:04:36,561 --> 00:04:38,830
Time to get branch.
116
00:04:38,897 --> 00:04:39,898
[grunts]
117
00:04:39,965 --> 00:04:41,600
Can't start the day
without that.
118
00:04:41,666 --> 00:04:43,902
[grunts]
I got mad ups.
119
00:04:43,969 --> 00:04:46,004
Bam, shoutout
to my growth spurt.
120
00:04:46,071 --> 00:04:47,706
Come on, big D, branch it up.
121
00:04:47,772 --> 00:04:50,041
That's so stupid, right, Mia?
122
00:04:50,108 --> 00:04:52,177
Jumping up
and hitting a branch?
123
00:04:52,243 --> 00:04:54,179
What does it even mean?
Yeah, totally.
124
00:04:54,245 --> 00:04:56,014
It's just a stupid
immature ritual
125
00:04:56,081 --> 00:04:57,782
that separates the alphas
from the betas.
126
00:04:57,849 --> 00:05:00,885
Be right back.
[shouts]
127
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,021
Come on, Duncan,
do something tight.
128
00:05:03,088 --> 00:05:06,024
Uh, I had a big breakfast
and I'm wearing my lowtops,
129
00:05:06,091 --> 00:05:08,326
and I actually jumped
so high yesterday
130
00:05:08,393 --> 00:05:10,962
that my doctor said
I should stay on the ground.
131
00:05:11,029 --> 00:05:13,198
It's okay if you can't do it,
Duncan.
132
00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:17,202
It just feels so, so good
when you can.
133
00:05:17,268 --> 00:05:18,737
So good.
134
00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:21,172
Ugh, okay, I'll do it.
135
00:05:22,607 --> 00:05:23,875
[grunting]
136
00:05:23,942 --> 00:05:25,944
Hup, hup!
[grunting]
137
00:05:26,011 --> 00:05:29,414
Whoaho, ass over teakettle.
138
00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:30,949
[gasps]
[ducks quacking]
139
00:05:31,016 --> 00:05:33,952
Hey, you're treading water.
That's tight.
140
00:05:34,019 --> 00:05:36,321
[ducks quacking]
141
00:05:38,123 --> 00:05:42,160
Get that muffler fixed,
you noisy jerk. Ugh!
142
00:05:42,227 --> 00:05:44,963
You parked in the red zone,
pally.
143
00:05:45,030 --> 00:05:46,197
[tires squealing]
144
00:05:46,264 --> 00:05:47,365
all: Aww!
145
00:05:47,432 --> 00:05:51,636
[howls]
Wolf, no car surfing!
146
00:05:51,703 --> 00:05:52,704
You'll break your neck!
147
00:05:52,771 --> 00:05:54,072
Honey, the neighbors called.
148
00:05:54,139 --> 00:05:56,207
They asked
if you would please shut up.
149
00:05:56,274 --> 00:05:59,911
Where are they?
Show yourselves, cowards!
150
00:05:59,978 --> 00:06:02,781
Ugh, what am I supposed to do
for a week, Jack?
151
00:06:02,847 --> 00:06:05,417
I literally have nothing
in the world
152
00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:07,285
as fulfilling as my job.
153
00:06:07,352 --> 00:06:08,486
Your children? Me?
154
00:06:08,553 --> 00:06:10,021
Nothing.
155
00:06:10,088 --> 00:06:12,557
Look, Annie, you can't just
sit out here yelling at cars
156
00:06:12,624 --> 00:06:14,125
and throwing beer cans
at people.
157
00:06:14,192 --> 00:06:17,896
You gotta redirect it and find
something that gives you joy.
158
00:06:17,962 --> 00:06:19,998
Okay, I'll check in with you
159
00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:22,067
when you're in a less
throwy mood.
160
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:26,137
Without my job
I just have no purpose.
161
00:06:26,738 --> 00:06:30,975
[chirping]
162
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:34,245
Either I'm drunk,
or that can's tweeting.
163
00:06:36,381 --> 00:06:37,615
Oh, no.
164
00:06:37,682 --> 00:06:39,484
Hang on little one,
I'll help you.
165
00:06:39,551 --> 00:06:40,685
[warm music]
166
00:06:40,752 --> 00:06:42,120
[chirping]
167
00:06:42,187 --> 00:06:43,254
No need to thank me.
168
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:44,856
It just felt good to help you.
169
00:06:44,923 --> 00:06:47,726
[gasps] Are you my new purpose?
170
00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:50,195
[burps]
How much beer did you have?
171
00:06:50,261 --> 00:06:53,031
I can't let you
fly home like this.
172
00:06:53,098 --> 00:06:55,366
Come inside.
I'll make some coffee.
173
00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:02,640
This cereal
needs some berries.
174
00:07:02,707 --> 00:07:06,111
Some for me, some for you.
175
00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:06,945
Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp.
176
00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:09,748
Ah, I wish I knew
what I was saying to you.
177
00:07:09,814 --> 00:07:11,216
Is Mom losing her mind?
178
00:07:11,282 --> 00:07:13,752
'Cause if she is, we should
keep her in the basement.
179
00:07:13,818 --> 00:07:15,186
I still wanna
have friends over.
180
00:07:15,253 --> 00:07:17,789
Your mom's having
a tough time without her job,
181
00:07:17,856 --> 00:07:19,758
and that bird seems
to make her happy.
182
00:07:19,824 --> 00:07:22,360
So for the next week,
let's just smile
183
00:07:22,427 --> 00:07:23,928
and nod supportively.
184
00:07:23,995 --> 00:07:26,264
all: Mmhmm.
185
00:07:27,265 --> 00:07:30,268
Ugh, I'm not eating that.
That touched beak.
186
00:07:30,335 --> 00:07:31,069
[wolf whistle]
187
00:07:31,136 --> 00:07:32,637
Well, when you put it
that way.
188
00:07:32,704 --> 00:07:33,938
[grunts]
189
00:07:34,005 --> 00:07:36,908
Mommy, can you tie my ribbon?
190
00:07:36,975 --> 00:07:39,611
Aww, he thinks I'm Cinderella.
191
00:07:40,178 --> 00:07:42,847
He's picking out
my gray hairs.
192
00:07:42,914 --> 00:07:45,450
So long, Annie's mascara.
193
00:07:45,984 --> 00:07:48,887
What the
He's cleaning your teeth.
194
00:07:48,953 --> 00:07:51,055
No brushing? Have at it.
195
00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:53,992
See, isn't he adorable?
His name's Kyle.
196
00:07:54,058 --> 00:07:56,995
That's great.
He looks like a Kyle.
197
00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:58,930
You seem so happy.
You know what?
198
00:07:58,997 --> 00:08:00,932
Instead of us playing
video games while you run
199
00:08:00,999 --> 00:08:03,067
our Saturday errands,
we're gonna do 'em for you.
200
00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:06,738
You stay home and relax
with your feathered friend.
201
00:08:06,805 --> 00:08:07,906
Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp,
202
00:08:07,972 --> 00:08:09,274
chirp, chirp, chirp,
chirp, chirp.
203
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,277
[grunts]
Easy money.
204
00:08:12,343 --> 00:08:13,344
Hup, hup!
205
00:08:13,411 --> 00:08:14,646
Aww, come on.
206
00:08:14,712 --> 00:08:16,447
[chirping]
207
00:08:16,514 --> 00:08:18,583
Well, hello there.
208
00:08:18,650 --> 00:08:20,785
I'm Annie.
[chirping]
209
00:08:20,852 --> 00:08:23,388
Well, this is just
delightful.
210
00:08:23,454 --> 00:08:25,790
Am I a bird person?
211
00:08:25,857 --> 00:08:28,760
[upbeat music]
212
00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:31,396
That uniform fits you nicely,
Mavis.
213
00:08:31,462 --> 00:08:32,497
[grunts]
214
00:08:32,564 --> 00:08:33,832
I'm not just saying that.
215
00:08:33,898 --> 00:08:36,434
Uhoh. Parking bad guys.
216
00:08:37,802 --> 00:08:39,470
Please don't write
that ticket.
217
00:08:39,537 --> 00:08:40,705
Okay.
218
00:08:40,772 --> 00:08:42,407
Oh, come on,
I only left it there
219
00:08:42,473 --> 00:08:44,509
because I didn't feel like
paying for
220
00:08:44,576 --> 00:08:46,211
did you say okay?
Yeah.
221
00:08:46,277 --> 00:08:49,214
You seem like a decent dude,
and you said please.
222
00:08:51,149 --> 00:08:52,851
Are you gonna give me
a ticket?
223
00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:54,152
I was thinking about it.
224
00:08:54,219 --> 00:08:55,653
Don't you have
anything better to do
225
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,522
than gouge
lawabiding citizens
226
00:08:57,589 --> 00:09:00,091
for not abiding by the law?
227
00:09:00,158 --> 00:09:01,626
You know what? I do.
228
00:09:01,693 --> 00:09:04,128
Mavis and I are going to get
a couple's massage.
229
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,964
You got room for one more?
230
00:09:06,030 --> 00:09:09,634
Not really the definition
of couple, but sure, why not?
231
00:09:09,701 --> 00:09:11,102
[barks]
232
00:09:11,169 --> 00:09:14,105
♪ ♪
233
00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:18,109
Okay, we need berries,
a sports bra, contact lenses,
234
00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:20,745
a backyard screenedin porch,
and a big old candle.
235
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:21,913
Who's coming with me,
236
00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:23,848
and who's waiting
in a hard plastic chair?
237
00:09:23,915 --> 00:09:24,749
Chair.
238
00:09:24,816 --> 00:09:26,184
Chair.
Chair.
239
00:09:27,986 --> 00:09:30,788
Wanna see my magic trick?
You bet, Jing. Okay.
240
00:09:30,855 --> 00:09:32,590
Does anybody in the audience
have a quarter?
241
00:09:32,657 --> 00:09:33,958
How about you, lady?
242
00:09:34,025 --> 00:09:35,760
Fine, here.
243
00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:37,195
[blows sharply]
244
00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:39,797
[gasps] I did it.
I'm magic.
245
00:09:39,864 --> 00:09:41,666
I'm going to win
showandtell tomorrow
246
00:09:41,733 --> 00:09:44,636
and that Fun Size Snickers
is mine.
247
00:09:44,702 --> 00:09:46,004
Hmm?
248
00:09:46,905 --> 00:09:48,673
[gasps] I'll be right back.
249
00:09:48,740 --> 00:09:50,341
[panting]
250
00:09:50,408 --> 00:09:53,044
It's just Froyo, Kimberly.
Just ask him to Froyo.
251
00:09:53,111 --> 00:09:54,913
[line rings]
What's up?
252
00:09:54,979 --> 00:09:57,248
Hey, Marcus.
It's Kim...berly.
253
00:09:57,315 --> 00:10:00,919
We don't have school
'cause it's Saturday.
254
00:10:00,985 --> 00:10:02,287
[laughs]
255
00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:04,956
Saturday, where did you
come up with that?
256
00:10:05,023 --> 00:10:06,624
Yeah, I gotta go.
Wait.
257
00:10:06,691 --> 00:10:08,293
I can see what you're wearing.
258
00:10:08,359 --> 00:10:09,060
What?
259
00:10:09,127 --> 00:10:11,329
I mean
I'm in men's underwear.
260
00:10:11,396 --> 00:10:13,131
[shrieks]
261
00:10:13,798 --> 00:10:15,433
So where'd the quarter go?
262
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:18,336
A magician never
reveals her tricks.
263
00:10:18,903 --> 00:10:21,005
Oh, I can't lie to you.
It was in my pocket.
264
00:10:21,072 --> 00:10:23,508
I'll be crying
in the dumpster.
265
00:10:23,574 --> 00:10:25,009
Okay.
Bye, lady.
266
00:10:25,076 --> 00:10:27,512
Mr. Mitch, I checked the
daily count of parking tickets,
267
00:10:27,578 --> 00:10:30,214
as all mayors do,
and you haven't busted anyone.
268
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,884
Yeah, turns out,
I don't like being the man.
269
00:10:32,951 --> 00:10:34,953
I want people to be happy
to see me.
270
00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:36,854
Like that Publishers
Clearing House dude.
271
00:10:36,921 --> 00:10:38,723
He gives out giant checks
and balloons,
272
00:10:38,790 --> 00:10:39,958
and they give him hugs.
273
00:10:40,024 --> 00:10:41,693
Because of you
coddling these idiots,
274
00:10:41,759 --> 00:10:44,996
people think they can just park
wherever they want.
275
00:10:45,063 --> 00:10:47,498
I'm gonna walk around
City Hall hitting on women.
276
00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:48,633
Okay to leave it here?
277
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:49,801
I don't see a problem
with that.
278
00:10:49,867 --> 00:10:51,970
You're the best.
279
00:10:52,036 --> 00:10:54,706
He said I'm the best.
That's a verbal hug.
280
00:10:54,772 --> 00:10:56,874
[whimpers]
Mmmm.
281
00:10:56,941 --> 00:10:58,609
Wait till your mom
sees this tiny bird mirror
282
00:10:58,676 --> 00:10:59,610
I bought for Kyle.
283
00:10:59,677 --> 00:11:02,246
She's gonna flip.
284
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:03,748
all: What?
285
00:11:03,815 --> 00:11:07,518
Welcome to Jurannie Park.
286
00:11:07,585 --> 00:11:10,688
[birds chirping]
287
00:11:10,755 --> 00:11:12,056
[dramatic orchestral music]
288
00:11:12,123 --> 00:11:14,959
Honey,
what the hell happened?
289
00:11:15,026 --> 00:11:16,928
Uh, long story short,
one thing led to another,
290
00:11:16,995 --> 00:11:18,730
and now we have a lot of birds.
291
00:11:18,796 --> 00:11:20,665
Did you know we have
a store in town
292
00:11:20,732 --> 00:11:22,567
that sells nothing
but bird supplies?
293
00:11:22,633 --> 00:11:24,102
Neither did I.
294
00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:26,504
But they've been here 50 years
and they deliver and install.
295
00:11:26,571 --> 00:11:27,805
Have a seed bell.
296
00:11:27,872 --> 00:11:29,474
How much did all this cost?
297
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:32,677
You'd be surprised. A lot.
There were no sales at all.
298
00:11:32,744 --> 00:11:34,912
I think it's beautiful.
299
00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:37,115
[with Jing's voice]
I think it's beautiful.
300
00:11:37,181 --> 00:11:38,649
How did he do that?
301
00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:40,718
Birds are really smart.
302
00:11:40,785 --> 00:11:43,121
Some exotic birds
are naturalborn mimics.
303
00:11:43,187 --> 00:11:44,088
That's kind of cool.
304
00:11:44,155 --> 00:11:45,923
[with Duncan's voice]
That's kind of cool.
305
00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:48,359
Ugh, is that really
what my voice sounds like?
306
00:11:48,426 --> 00:11:49,227
Afraid so.
307
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:51,262
Wait, they can sound
like anybody?
308
00:11:51,329 --> 00:11:52,830
[with Kimberly's voice] Wait,
they can sound like anybody?
309
00:11:52,897 --> 00:11:53,998
This one's mine.
310
00:11:54,065 --> 00:11:56,167
I told you,
they're really smart.
311
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:58,136
I know I probably should have
checked with you,
312
00:11:58,202 --> 00:12:01,139
but these birds
bring me so much joy.
313
00:12:01,205 --> 00:12:03,041
They're always so happy
to see me,
314
00:12:03,107 --> 00:12:05,109
unlike the grumps in this town.
315
00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:06,344
And they're so sweet.
316
00:12:06,411 --> 00:12:08,713
I mean, who couldn't love
this face?
317
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,648
Oh, my.
Not that face.
318
00:12:10,715 --> 00:12:13,051
This face.
Are you okay with this?
319
00:12:13,117 --> 00:12:15,653
Well, you did put up
with my cowboy boot years,
320
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,555
so I guess I can support this.
321
00:12:17,622 --> 00:12:18,790
Thank you.
322
00:12:18,856 --> 00:12:20,191
And I promise
you'll get used to this
323
00:12:20,258 --> 00:12:22,927
and eventually love
these birds like I do.
324
00:12:22,994 --> 00:12:25,596
Oh, make sure when you leave,
you walk backwards,
325
00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:27,065
because if he sees your butt,
326
00:12:27,131 --> 00:12:28,833
he's gonna try
to mate with you.
327
00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:30,668
Don't ask how I know.
328
00:12:30,735 --> 00:12:32,937
[birds chirping]
329
00:12:33,004 --> 00:12:35,073
Okay,
Marcus thinks I'm crazy.
330
00:12:35,139 --> 00:12:37,809
That's why you, a bird,
are gonna take my place.
331
00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:40,578
Froyo. Got it?
332
00:12:40,645 --> 00:12:41,779
Froyo. Got it.
333
00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:42,814
[line ringing]
334
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,982
[rock music playing over TV]
335
00:12:45,049 --> 00:12:46,717
'Sup?
'Sup?
336
00:12:46,784 --> 00:12:48,319
I don't know, chilling.
337
00:12:48,386 --> 00:12:49,520
Chilling.
338
00:12:49,587 --> 00:12:51,889
When you're not spazzing
about what days we have school,
339
00:12:51,956 --> 00:12:53,991
you're actually
pretty easy to talk to.
340
00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:56,561
[gasps]
I'll take it from here.
341
00:12:56,627 --> 00:12:58,429
Mm.
342
00:12:58,496 --> 00:13:00,965
So where were we?
343
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:03,901
And did I mention
344
00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:08,372
this seashell
is from... Boca Raton?
345
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:09,474
[all gasp]
346
00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,776
Oh, he showed and told.
347
00:13:11,843 --> 00:13:15,580
Okay, Jing,
good luck following that.
348
00:13:15,646 --> 00:13:17,215
Showtime, little man.
349
00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:21,052
I cannot tell a lie.
You're gonna crush this, Jing.
350
00:13:21,119 --> 00:13:25,256
Lil' Joey, would you verify
this is an ordinary quarter?
351
00:13:25,323 --> 00:13:25,923
[chomps]
352
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:27,658
That's George, all right.
353
00:13:27,725 --> 00:13:29,660
I place the quarter
in my hand,
354
00:13:29,727 --> 00:13:32,163
wave the wand, and
355
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:34,799
Hi, am I too late
for Jing's magic act?
356
00:13:34,866 --> 00:13:37,969
Ey, check out the "boids"
on that broad.
357
00:13:38,035 --> 00:13:40,071
Kids, Jing didn't
finish her trick.
358
00:13:40,138 --> 00:13:43,007
Yeah, but you've got birds.
You win.
359
00:13:43,074 --> 00:13:46,077
Look, Jing, I got
a Fun Size Snickers bar.
360
00:13:46,144 --> 00:13:48,079
[annoyedly] Tada.
361
00:13:48,146 --> 00:13:50,481
Hold me up.
I wanna see the birds.
362
00:13:50,548 --> 00:13:52,416
[growls]
363
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:55,520
Is it just me, or does lunch
taste better on a branch?
364
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:58,789
I would eat every meal
on a branch if I could,
365
00:13:58,856 --> 00:14:00,525
even soup, dude.
366
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,527
Duncan, jump up and join us.
367
00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:04,762
Yeah, sorry, I can't.
368
00:14:04,829 --> 00:14:06,063
My hammies are tight
369
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:08,766
from dunking a basketball
all night...in a hoop.
370
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,401
Yeah, and my future's bright.
371
00:14:10,468 --> 00:14:11,736
[laughter]
372
00:14:11,802 --> 00:14:13,504
Duncan,
everyone in their life
373
00:14:13,571 --> 00:14:16,174
has a branch they're just
trying to jump and reach.
374
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,142
For me,
it's reversing climate change
375
00:14:18,209 --> 00:14:20,077
and equality for women
at the workplace.
376
00:14:20,144 --> 00:14:23,080
For you, it's
well, it's that branch.
377
00:14:23,147 --> 00:14:24,315
I believe in you, Duncan.
378
00:14:24,382 --> 00:14:27,818
Uh, usually that's all it
would take 'cause you're you,
379
00:14:27,885 --> 00:14:29,554
but I forgot my lunch.
380
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,389
Duncan, I brought your lunch.
381
00:14:31,455 --> 00:14:33,958
Cleopatra, take this
to your brother.
382
00:14:36,494 --> 00:14:37,828
[squawks]
[laughter]
383
00:14:37,895 --> 00:14:39,530
Hup, hup!
[grunts]
384
00:14:39,597 --> 00:14:40,698
Mom, make her give it to me.
385
00:14:40,765 --> 00:14:42,567
Oh, for crying out loud.
386
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:44,235
Hup, hup! [grunts]
387
00:14:45,937 --> 00:14:48,472
Damn, she got that off vert.
388
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:51,609
[birds squawking]
389
00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:54,378
Mama's coming.
Mama's coming.
390
00:14:54,445 --> 00:14:57,114
Annie, we need to talk
about the birds.
391
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,883
Okay, but choose
your words carefully.
392
00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:00,851
They understand everything.
393
00:15:00,918 --> 00:15:03,821
They stole my thunder
at showandtell today.
394
00:15:03,888 --> 00:15:04,956
And that one took my man.
395
00:15:05,022 --> 00:15:08,726
We haven't made love in days
without them watching,
396
00:15:08,793 --> 00:15:10,361
and they're so judgmental.
397
00:15:10,428 --> 00:15:11,662
[with Jack's voice]
I'm so sorry.
398
00:15:11,729 --> 00:15:13,331
This never happens.
399
00:15:13,397 --> 00:15:15,666
We know how much happiness
this brings you, Mom,
400
00:15:15,733 --> 00:15:16,667
but we're over it.
401
00:15:16,734 --> 00:15:19,203
Where are those birds?
You made a fool of me.
402
00:15:19,270 --> 00:15:21,706
So now I'm eating your cousins.
403
00:15:21,772 --> 00:15:24,275
[slowmotion chomping]
404
00:15:24,342 --> 00:15:25,643
[birds squawking]
405
00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:27,645
[gasps]
406
00:15:27,712 --> 00:15:29,146
Ow, ow! Ow, ow!
407
00:15:29,213 --> 00:15:31,682
Kris, Caitlyn,
Kourtney, Kim, Khloé, Kendall,
408
00:15:31,749 --> 00:15:34,385
Kylie, Scott Disick,
put him down.
409
00:15:34,452 --> 00:15:35,653
[grunts]
410
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:36,954
Everyone get behind me.
411
00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:38,689
I learned
this control technique
412
00:15:38,756 --> 00:15:40,057
from "Jurassic World."
413
00:15:40,124 --> 00:15:43,527
[dramatic music]
414
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,930
That's right, listen to Mama.
415
00:15:45,997 --> 00:15:47,865
See?
There's no reason
416
00:15:47,932 --> 00:15:50,234
we can't all
live together in harmony.
417
00:15:50,301 --> 00:15:53,571
Whaa!
418
00:15:53,638 --> 00:15:55,640
[squawks]
[birds squawking]
419
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:57,241
[all scream]
420
00:16:00,211 --> 00:16:01,078
[all sigh]
421
00:16:01,145 --> 00:16:02,113
That was close,
422
00:16:02,179 --> 00:16:04,382
but we showed them
who the superior species is.
423
00:16:04,448 --> 00:16:06,350
Uh, guys.
424
00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:08,619
[birds squawking]
425
00:16:08,686 --> 00:16:11,289
I hate them,
but that's pretty cool.
426
00:16:11,355 --> 00:16:13,658
[all scream]
427
00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:21,065
♪ ♪
428
00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:27,171
They took our home.
429
00:16:27,238 --> 00:16:29,540
The age of humans is over.
430
00:16:29,607 --> 00:16:32,677
The age of birds has begun.
431
00:16:32,743 --> 00:16:34,645
Well, how would you
describe it?
432
00:16:37,715 --> 00:16:38,883
[birds squawking]
433
00:16:38,949 --> 00:16:40,751
Well, this was a fun place
to grow up.
434
00:16:40,818 --> 00:16:42,119
Where to next?
435
00:16:42,186 --> 00:16:45,089
Intercourse, Pennsylvania?
[laughs] Nice.
436
00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:46,791
Can we move
to Pepperidge Farm?
437
00:16:46,857 --> 00:16:48,659
The commercials look fun.
438
00:16:48,726 --> 00:16:50,094
We're not leaving.
439
00:16:50,161 --> 00:16:53,364
Step aside.
This is a job for the Jack man.
440
00:16:53,431 --> 00:16:55,833
Helen,
I need to borrow your gun.
441
00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:57,568
All right,
but what am I gonna wave
442
00:16:57,635 --> 00:17:00,271
at my ex if he comes back
for his power tools?
443
00:17:00,338 --> 00:17:04,175
Oh, Helen, we all know
he's never coming back.
444
00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:04,875
That hurts.
445
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,510
[gasps] Don't hurt them.
446
00:17:06,577 --> 00:17:07,812
I'm sorry, honey.
447
00:17:07,878 --> 00:17:11,382
But it's time
to fight feathers with bullets.
448
00:17:11,449 --> 00:17:13,017
[shouts]
449
00:17:13,084 --> 00:17:14,685
[birds squawking]
450
00:17:14,752 --> 00:17:16,153
Well, they have a gun now.
451
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:18,923
Ugh, who would have thought
that using wild birds
452
00:17:18,989 --> 00:17:22,393
to deal with my psychological
issues would backfire?
453
00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:23,928
Don't blame yourself.
454
00:17:23,994 --> 00:17:25,629
Okay, then whose fault is it?
455
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,398
It's yours, Mommy.
456
00:17:27,465 --> 00:17:28,532
She's right.
457
00:17:28,599 --> 00:17:30,034
If you had just called in sick
and watched "Maury"
458
00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:32,536
like I said, none of this
would have happened.
459
00:17:32,603 --> 00:17:34,405
I begged you to watch "Maury."
460
00:17:34,472 --> 00:17:36,741
Yeah, this one
is kind of on you, Mom.
461
00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:41,445
Hey, the houses in Knob Lick,
Missouri, have good Zestimates.
462
00:17:41,512 --> 00:17:43,114
[laughs]
Duncan, stop.
463
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,816
Zestimates are lies
that are dividing our country.
464
00:17:45,883 --> 00:17:47,852
[sighs] You're all right.
465
00:17:47,918 --> 00:17:49,987
I brought this on myself.
466
00:17:50,054 --> 00:17:53,758
I inspire the hatred of people
and birds alike.
467
00:17:53,824 --> 00:17:55,493
Just leave me
on the side of the road
468
00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:57,495
to die like a caribou.
469
00:17:57,561 --> 00:17:58,662
We can't do that here,
470
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:01,899
but we can do it
in Dildo, Canada.
471
00:18:01,966 --> 00:18:03,734
[laughs] Canada.
472
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:05,136
Duncan's mom?
473
00:18:05,202 --> 00:18:06,604
What are you doing
on the side of the road
474
00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:07,838
like a dying caribou?
475
00:18:07,905 --> 00:18:09,540
Annie, I need you back.
476
00:18:09,607 --> 00:18:12,877
Mr. Mitch is too much of
a softie to give out tickets.
477
00:18:12,943 --> 00:18:15,613
I just like to be liked.
[barks, grunts]
478
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:16,914
I know, you warned me.
479
00:18:16,981 --> 00:18:18,149
Turns out,
the money generated
480
00:18:18,215 --> 00:18:19,784
by your overzealous ticketing
481
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:21,318
pays for our
school lunch program,
482
00:18:21,385 --> 00:18:23,087
and your boy
does not brown bag it.
483
00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:25,656
Without cartons, I have
to carry milk to school
484
00:18:25,723 --> 00:18:26,857
in my hands.
485
00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:28,325
Maybe you need me back,
486
00:18:28,392 --> 00:18:30,461
but the townspeople
don't want that.
487
00:18:30,528 --> 00:18:31,762
They hate me.
488
00:18:31,829 --> 00:18:34,131
No, we don't.
I just hate your pants.
489
00:18:34,198 --> 00:18:37,401
Truth is, I miss trading
verbal blows with you.
490
00:18:37,468 --> 00:18:38,436
Makes me feel alive.
491
00:18:38,502 --> 00:18:40,805
And you're the only one
who ever reads
492
00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:43,340
my naughty bumper stickers.
493
00:18:43,407 --> 00:18:44,542
Thanks for seeing me.
494
00:18:44,608 --> 00:18:46,310
[howls]
495
00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:47,344
[grunts]
496
00:18:47,411 --> 00:18:49,113
And without you to tell me
to stop car surfing
497
00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:51,248
or I could break my neck,
I could break my neck.
498
00:18:51,315 --> 00:18:54,018
Aww, well, I've learned
that I need you, too,
499
00:18:54,084 --> 00:18:56,320
for my life's purpose
and health insurance.
500
00:18:56,387 --> 00:18:58,456
But I have a house full
of birds that turned on me.
501
00:18:58,522 --> 00:18:59,790
Thoughts?
502
00:18:59,857 --> 00:19:01,792
This looks like a job
for Animal Control.
503
00:19:01,859 --> 00:19:04,562
All right, let's see.
Bird infestation.
504
00:19:04,628 --> 00:19:05,863
Oh, this is easy.
505
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:07,331
They'll fly south
in the winter.
506
00:19:07,398 --> 00:19:08,632
It's August.
507
00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:10,501
In that case, you got a gun?
508
00:19:10,568 --> 00:19:11,802
Not anymore.
509
00:19:11,869 --> 00:19:14,138
Okay, you elected me,
Mayor Jen,
510
00:19:14,205 --> 00:19:18,542
to solve your problems,
so I'm actually going to help.
511
00:19:18,609 --> 00:19:20,478
Wait, you voted for me, right?
512
00:19:20,544 --> 00:19:22,646
Uh, yeah, of course.
513
00:19:22,713 --> 00:19:26,617
[festive music]
514
00:19:26,684 --> 00:19:28,452
[laughs]
515
00:19:28,519 --> 00:19:32,323
♪ ♪
516
00:19:32,389 --> 00:19:35,259
[motors whirring]
517
00:19:35,326 --> 00:19:37,495
♪ ♪
518
00:19:37,561 --> 00:19:39,897
[squawking]
519
00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:46,804
[gasps] It's working.
They think it's winter.
520
00:19:46,871 --> 00:19:47,905
I'm a hero.
521
00:19:47,972 --> 00:19:50,307
Spending the town's
emergency funds.
522
00:19:50,374 --> 00:19:51,909
Vote Jen.
523
00:19:53,711 --> 00:19:55,045
[ball thudding]
[whistles]
524
00:19:56,247 --> 00:19:57,314
[laughter]
525
00:19:57,381 --> 00:20:00,651
[both squawking]
526
00:20:00,718 --> 00:20:03,254
They're coming back.
Close the house.
527
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,021
[all panting]
528
00:20:04,088 --> 00:20:06,090
Duncan, your window's open.
529
00:20:07,224 --> 00:20:08,993
[whimpers]
530
00:20:09,527 --> 00:20:10,628
Hup, hup!
531
00:20:10,694 --> 00:20:12,229
[grunts]
532
00:20:12,296 --> 00:20:14,398
[dramatic orchestral music]
533
00:20:14,465 --> 00:20:16,300
[grunting]
534
00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:18,802
♪ ♪
535
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,771
He got roof.
536
00:20:20,838 --> 00:20:22,139
Roof beats branch any day.
537
00:20:22,206 --> 00:20:24,275
I knew you could do
something tight.
538
00:20:24,341 --> 00:20:28,279
♪ ♪
539
00:20:28,345 --> 00:20:29,680
[squawks]
540
00:20:32,082 --> 00:20:34,285
I'll never forget you either,
Kyle.
541
00:20:34,351 --> 00:20:36,453
[chirping]
542
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:38,856
Enjoy Florida.
543
00:20:38,923 --> 00:20:41,258
Well, the house
really stinks, honey.
544
00:20:41,325 --> 00:20:44,094
Oh, yeah, we're gonna have
to gut the place.
545
00:20:47,064 --> 00:20:48,232
Welcome back to "Maury."
546
00:20:48,299 --> 00:20:51,268
I'm Maury Povich, and I sold
my journalistic soul years ago.
547
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:53,637
Kimberly, Marcus has
brought you on the show today
548
00:20:53,704 --> 00:20:56,373
because he has something
he wants to say to you.
549
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,642
[gasps]
A proposal on "Maury."
550
00:20:58,709 --> 00:21:00,277
Dreams do come true.
551
00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:03,514
Kimberly, I'm cheating on you
with a bird.
552
00:21:03,581 --> 00:21:06,350
[cheers and applause]
553
00:21:06,417 --> 00:21:07,585
That's right, bitch.
554
00:21:07,651 --> 00:21:09,553
I introduced you!
555
00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:10,721
[growls]
556
00:21:10,788 --> 00:21:12,022
[grunting]
557
00:21:12,089 --> 00:21:14,792
Uh, uh, uh, Kimberly, no,
he's not worth it.
558
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:16,060
Go to hell, Maury.
559
00:21:16,126 --> 00:21:18,796
You got me here
under false pretenses.
560
00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:20,464
Ow! Please, Kimberly.
561
00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:22,499
Ah! I'm 82 years old.
562
00:21:24,168 --> 00:21:27,137
He looks great for 82.
I like this show.
563
00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:28,772
Kick her ass, Maury.
564
00:21:28,839 --> 00:21:31,642
I am so glad
I took a sick day for this.
565
00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:36,242
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