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1
00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:06,705
You're probably wondering
why I've called you here.
2
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:09,541
I'm actually wondering why this
place hasn't been condemned.
3
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,910
I want you guys to see
something.
4
00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:12,780
Uh, Dan?
5
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,070
I'm leaving. You guys
have fun playing
6
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,414
"Guess That Rash."
7
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:18,584
No, wait! Look at this scratch.
8
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,252
Wow. Fascinating.
9
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,170
What about it?
10
00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:23,480
I have no memory of how
it happened. Mr. Mumbles
11
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,857
says it wasn't her.
12
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,358
(mr. mumbles, meows)
13
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,894
Isn't it odd that I
would have no memory
14
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:31,730
whatsoever of this injury?
15
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,034
Well, you HAVE taken a lot
of head trauma over the years...
16
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,301
Don't you see?!
17
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,538
There's only one
possible explanation for this.
18
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:43,175
I've been abducted by aliens.
19
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,746
All the signs line up!
Crop circles!
20
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:50,482
Nostradamus! Reykjavik!
21
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,051
Hey! Get off me!
22
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:54,853
Aqueducts! Neoprene!
Sauerkraut!
23
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:59,558
You're just saying words!
24
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,727
Which one of you is Dan?
25
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:02,961
Who wants to know?!
26
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:06,165
The trilateral
commission? Freemasons?
27
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,666
ohh!
28
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,103
L.A. Superior Court, buddy.
You've been served.
29
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:12,371
Jury duty?
30
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,207
We tried to notify you by mail,
but you never responded.
31
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:18,277
I don't open mail
from the government.
32
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,611
That's what they
want you to do.
33
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:20,913
We'll see you in court.
34
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:24,283
But my friends and I need to
drive around until we find
35
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,784
the aliens that abducted me!
36
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:30,856
We have to make them
pay for what they did!
37
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:34,193
Whatever it was,
I'm sure it wasn't pleasant.
38
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:37,963
You show up for jury duty, or
you go to jail. Your choice.
39
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:41,266
Ha, ha. Dan has to
perform his civic duty!
40
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:44,269
Don't worry Dan.
Elise and I will drive you.
41
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,804
Elise? You're Elise?
42
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,106
ohhh!
43
00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:50,242
Oh, come on!
44
00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:54,513
JURY DUTY!!!
45
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:08,060
I'VE been served?!
46
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:12,097
I'll serve you up the
backside of your stupid...
47
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:15,534
That's what I should have
said...
48
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,069
I don't know why he's upset.
49
00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:18,804
Usually when someone tells
Dan they'll see him in court,
50
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,272
they mean as a defendant.
51
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:23,542
I can't believe I have to waste
a whole day at the courthouse.
52
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,643
Well I'm not going.
53
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,445
They pay you.
54
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:30,449
I mean, sure, I'd rather
be alien-hunting,
55
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:33,719
but if they wanna compensate
me for my time...
56
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:34,887
Sure.
57
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:36,522
How much it it, anyway?
58
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:37,890
Uh... Five, I think.
59
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:40,359
Five hundred? I'm worth more.
60
00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,793
Maybe I can negotiate.
61
00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:42,761
No Dan. Five.
62
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,764
Five DOLLARS!?
63
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,399
Before taxes.
64
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,568
Forget it! Let me out!
65
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:03,248
So THAT'S why you replaced our
back windows with plexiglass.
66
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:04,883
I try to think two moves ahead.
67
00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:16,295
Security has gotten so
tight at the courthouse lately.
68
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:17,496
For good reason.
69
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,531
Do you know what kind of
lunatics walk through this
70
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,668
door every day?
71
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,136
Huh. Forgot I had this.
72
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:27,139
You guys go ahead.
I'll catch up.
73
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:29,841
Uh... we'll just go ahead then.
74
00:03:32,111 --> 00:03:32,711
GRENADE!
75
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:52,965
Tee-hee! Stop it!
76
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,700
Please proceed to the sobriety
test.
77
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,802
I'll be right with you to
administer the lie detector.
78
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,446
Are you affiliated with any
group that is plotting
79
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,648
the violent overthrow
of the United States?
80
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,817
I'm not really a "joiner."
81
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:15,153
I'm more of a "He was
acting alone" kind of guy.
82
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,498
Great, now I have to ride an
elevator with a bunch of
83
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,567
stupid, ugly criminals!?
84
00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,270
Dan? Stop talking.
85
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:34,306
Don't be afraid of these
troglodytes, Chris.
86
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:37,242
We're in a building full
of cops, and these doors
87
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,544
will open any second now.
88
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,146
(grinding noise)
89
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,848
Please don't let us be stuck.
90
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,483
Well, at least we--
91
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:46,250
Huh.
92
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,254
Hey, honest mistake.
93
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:49,921
I hate you.
94
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:54,926
You may all be seated.
95
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:55,727
Fry him!
96
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,129
That's the judge, Dan.
97
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,864
I know that! Fry him!
98
00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:02,167
I assume you're trying to
get out of jury duty?
99
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,303
Shirk your civic
responsibility?
100
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:07,172
That hurts, your honor.
101
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:13,779
In fact, I'm so upset I
think I'd best go home.
102
00:05:15,548 --> 00:05:17,082
Don't even think about it.
103
00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:25,557
Magnifico the Magnificent
does not serve on... JURIES!
104
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,359
(claps)
105
00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:30,330
Excused.
106
00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:36,635
I'm sorry ma'am, but being
pregnant does not excuse
107
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,370
you from jury duty.
108
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,039
No, your honor, I--ooh!
109
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,408
I'm actually in the
process of --whoa!
110
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:47,312
That was a big one--
giving birth right now.
111
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,447
You're excused.
112
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,748
Please name the child after me.
113
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:56,588
Your honor, I am also in
the process of giving birth.
114
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,026
And I'm also
emotionally fragile,
115
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,694
having been recently
abducted by aliens.
116
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,900
Alternate juror?
117
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,310
That's even worse!
118
00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:12,970
I still have to be here, but I
can't send anyone to prison!
119
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:15,640
I'm just happy to be
of service to my community.
120
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:20,011
By the way, that's Olaf.
He doesn't speak any English.
121
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,114
Then how do you know
what his name is?
122
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,716
Oh I'm like, totally
fluent in Danish.
123
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,885
Anyway, Olaf isn't
even a juror.
124
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,855
He wandered in by mistake when
he was looking for the bathroom.
125
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,990
I'm tunneling out.
126
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,258
Don't go yet, bro-face.
127
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:36,628
They're supposed to give us
food pellets in like an hour.
128
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:37,630
(clang)
129
00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:39,190
Useless!
130
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:43,802
Under the layer of newspaper
there's just more bars.
131
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,037
Has the jury selected a foreman?
132
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,806
We have, your honor. It's me.
133
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,207
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
134
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,208
(clapping)
135
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:55,147
(elise sighs)
136
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:57,416
(whisper-yelling)
CHRIS!
137
00:06:57,418 --> 00:07:00,385
Hey, Chris!
138
00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:06,224
You've got to bust me
out of here.
139
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,560
I'm not "busting you
out" of jury duty.
140
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,596
Just go to my
apartment, all right?!
141
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,166
In my closet, you'll
find a a plastic gun,
142
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:18,236
a block of thermite, a wig,
makeup, petroleum jelly...
143
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,071
But sadly, no clean clothes.
144
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,506
(clank clank)
145
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:24,009
Are you trying to influence
one of my jurors,
146
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:27,546
or just disturbing the
proceedings?
147
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,348
Uh, the... second one?
148
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,221
I'll just wait out
here, then...
149
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:39,524
Please bring in the defendant.
150
00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:50,302
Look at that weasel!
151
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:51,260
Guilty!
152
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:52,130
(gavels) Order!
153
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,340
You are accused of stealing a
wrecking ball and destroying
154
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,175
the Burger Bonanza restaurant.
155
00:07:57,177 --> 00:08:00,679
The place across
the street from Ninja Dave's...
156
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,315
I hate those guys.
157
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:05,784
They never give you
enough ketchup.
158
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:08,954
The charges state that this was
the result of an argument about
159
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:12,123
the amount of ketchup you
received at the drive-through?
160
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,926
Right on, brother.
161
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,863
Do you wish to change
your plea?
162
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:21,266
Still not guilty, your honor.
163
00:08:21,268 --> 00:08:23,335
I said not guilty, right?
164
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,170
He's more than not guilty.
165
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,539
He's a hero.
166
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:30,475
Wow. Hero.
167
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:34,713
We have a civic duty to perform,
whatever your name is.
168
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:37,082
To make sure that
man goes free.
169
00:08:46,798 --> 00:08:49,838
While it is true that my client
was hauled away from the
170
00:08:49,838 --> 00:08:52,308
establishment screaming
"I swear I will destroy this
171
00:08:52,308 --> 00:08:55,808
place..." ...and yes,
the place WAS in fact,
172
00:08:55,808 --> 00:08:57,878
destroyed later that night.
173
00:08:57,878 --> 00:09:02,448
But I think that's
probably coincidence.
174
00:09:02,448 --> 00:09:07,218
I've got to get on that jury.
175
00:09:07,228 --> 00:09:10,358
I need your long,
spindly arms.
176
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:10,950
Take them.
177
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,710
And do with them as you will.
178
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,220
Well done.
179
00:09:21,968 --> 00:09:22,908
Now, we just...
180
00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:26,650
(thud)
181
00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:30,500
Oh, dude, poor Olaf,
he just knocked himself out!
182
00:09:30,518 --> 00:09:34,718
Perfect. Cover him in cedar
shavings. Then you hide, too.
183
00:09:34,718 --> 00:09:36,648
Also, I need his underwear.
184
00:09:43,898 --> 00:09:48,198
Just got to take out one
juror... But which one?
185
00:09:51,238 --> 00:09:52,268
Goodnight, Elise.
186
00:09:55,008 --> 00:09:57,978
(crack and a whimper)
187
00:09:59,838 --> 00:10:00,638
Drat!
188
00:10:02,908 --> 00:10:04,178
Uh... Your honor?
189
00:10:04,178 --> 00:10:08,288
I think this juror needs
medical attention.
190
00:10:08,288 --> 00:10:11,388
Please bring one of the
alternates to the jury box.
191
00:10:17,328 --> 00:10:18,398
Who, me?
192
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,680
This is more like it.
193
00:10:28,468 --> 00:10:29,938
Hey! Nothing.
194
00:10:40,948 --> 00:10:44,088
There we go... Come to papa...
195
00:10:44,758 --> 00:10:48,628
Ahh! Oof! Heavy!
196
00:10:50,298 --> 00:10:52,028
It's vital that we find
my expert witness
197
00:10:52,028 --> 00:10:53,458
as soon as possible!
198
00:10:53,468 --> 00:10:55,898
We know he checked in, but we
don't know where he went.
199
00:10:55,898 --> 00:10:57,868
I'm told he's a
big guy in an orange shirt.
200
00:10:57,868 --> 00:11:01,408
Should be easy to spot, right?
201
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:04,238
Hey, could you guys help
me out here?
202
00:11:04,238 --> 00:11:06,108
There you are, Olaf!
203
00:11:06,108 --> 00:11:07,038
Uh, what?
204
00:11:08,978 --> 00:11:11,518
What were you doing trapped
under this vending machine?
205
00:11:11,518 --> 00:11:12,878
I was hungry.
206
00:11:12,888 --> 00:11:14,618
Well let's go.
Trial's in an hour.
207
00:11:14,618 --> 00:11:16,418
We need to prep you, talk
about your testimony...
208
00:11:16,418 --> 00:11:17,518
I think you're mistaking--
209
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,720
Come on, it's chili
dog day in the cafeteria.
210
00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:20,430
I'm buying.
211
00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:21,410
Okay.
212
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,350
So you're from Denmark?
213
00:11:23,358 --> 00:11:24,128
Yes I am.
214
00:11:27,398 --> 00:11:32,098
In your opinion, Officer-
Ahh! Ow!
215
00:11:32,998 --> 00:11:34,338
This guy's terrible!
216
00:11:34,338 --> 00:11:38,278
The lawyers on TV never
trip over their own feet!
217
00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:39,738
Well, he doesn't
have a lot to work with.
218
00:11:39,748 --> 00:11:42,308
It's pretty clear the guy's
guilty.
219
00:11:42,308 --> 00:11:45,048
Don't say that!
Keep hope alive!
220
00:11:45,678 --> 00:11:46,548
Where am I?
221
00:11:49,218 --> 00:11:51,018
So, Doctor Magnussen...
222
00:11:51,018 --> 00:11:53,058
Please, call me Olaf.
223
00:11:53,058 --> 00:11:55,558
Can you tell me,
in your expert opinion,
224
00:11:55,558 --> 00:11:58,028
whether my client's factory
could have caused such
225
00:11:58,028 --> 00:12:00,828
widespread environmental
damage?
226
00:12:00,828 --> 00:12:02,298
When I describe the effect
of flow pollutants,
227
00:12:02,298 --> 00:12:04,498
it helps to think of
the environment as a
228
00:12:04,498 --> 00:12:07,968
big slice of meatloaf...
229
00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:09,838
That was fantastic!
230
00:12:09,838 --> 00:12:12,778
The way you related it in terms
the jury could understand...
231
00:12:12,778 --> 00:12:13,878
Thank you!
232
00:12:13,878 --> 00:12:15,648
Thank YOU for the chili dogs.
233
00:12:15,648 --> 00:12:17,908
Do you have any other
areas of expertise?
234
00:12:17,918 --> 00:12:21,048
My firm always needs
reliable expert witnesses.
235
00:12:21,048 --> 00:12:23,918
Why don't we discuss
it over some lobster bisque?
236
00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:24,618
You're buying.
237
00:12:27,458 --> 00:12:29,258
And, I think that's about it.
238
00:12:29,258 --> 00:12:32,528
So, defense rests, I think
I did a pretty good job.
239
00:12:32,528 --> 00:12:34,098
Your honor, I object!
240
00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:35,620
Dan? What are you doing?
241
00:12:35,810 --> 00:12:37,340
This guy sucks!
242
00:12:37,420 --> 00:12:40,760
He didn't do any of the
things lawyers do on TV!
243
00:12:40,768 --> 00:12:44,408
He didn't yell at anyone, he
didn't reveal any shocking,
244
00:12:44,408 --> 00:12:48,478
heretofore unforeseen
details about the witnesses...
245
00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:52,278
He didn't even spin on
his heel dramatically!
246
00:12:52,278 --> 00:12:56,048
You are aware that this is not a
court drama on television?
247
00:12:56,048 --> 00:12:57,548
Of course!
248
00:12:57,558 --> 00:13:00,388
But television is based
on real life.
249
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,188
And I've watched enough TV
250
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:05,670
to know a lousy lawyer
when I see one!
251
00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:08,820
Now that we've heard the
concluding arguments,
252
00:13:08,828 --> 00:13:12,438
I hereby release the jury
to the deliberation room.
253
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,930
You, I will see in my chambers.
254
00:13:20,078 --> 00:13:22,948
A little disappointed
in our legal system?
255
00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:25,170
Well, yeah!
256
00:13:25,178 --> 00:13:28,148
I was expecting a bunch
of "Isn't it true?"
257
00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:32,058
And "If that IS your real name!"
258
00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:34,188
That's why I got into law.
259
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:38,058
They don't tell you until third
year that that never happens.
260
00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:39,398
There wasn't even a last-minute
261
00:13:39,398 --> 00:13:42,398
hail mary in which new
evidence was introduced!
262
00:13:42,398 --> 00:13:46,068
Yeah, turns out that's actually
not legal.
263
00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:47,538
But- but-!
264
00:13:47,538 --> 00:13:49,138
Look, Dan?
265
00:13:49,138 --> 00:13:52,508
What I need you to do is go
into the deliberation room
266
00:13:52,508 --> 00:13:54,478
and discuss the case you heard.
267
00:13:54,478 --> 00:13:56,548
Can you do that for me?
268
00:13:56,548 --> 00:13:58,678
I guess.
269
00:13:58,678 --> 00:14:00,978
May I collect my
thoughts for a moment?
270
00:14:00,988 --> 00:14:03,918
Of course. Take your time.
271
00:14:11,598 --> 00:14:14,458
Now, when we talk
about "reasonable doubt,
272
00:14:14,468 --> 00:14:16,068
let's really think about
what's reason a--
273
00:14:16,068 --> 00:14:18,498
It's all right everybody, I'm
here now.
274
00:14:18,498 --> 00:14:20,298
You can stop listening to Elise.
275
00:14:20,308 --> 00:14:21,608
What are you wearing?
276
00:14:21,608 --> 00:14:23,438
These old things?
277
00:14:23,438 --> 00:14:25,108
Oh, the judge gave them to me.
278
00:14:25,108 --> 00:14:29,108
Because I'm the new
Juror-in-Chief.
279
00:14:29,108 --> 00:14:30,748
There's no such thing.
280
00:14:30,748 --> 00:14:32,218
Isn't there?
281
00:14:32,218 --> 00:14:36,548
Then why did he give me
his gavel?
282
00:14:36,558 --> 00:14:38,288
You obviously stole--
283
00:14:38,288 --> 00:14:39,088
(banging the gavel)
284
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,260
You are out of order!
285
00:14:40,260 --> 00:14:44,120
Don't make me hold you in any
more contempt than I already do.
286
00:14:44,128 --> 00:14:45,558
I'm out of what?!
287
00:14:45,558 --> 00:14:46,958
As Juror-in-Chief,
288
00:14:46,968 --> 00:14:50,868
I command you to sit quietly
while the grown-ups talk.
289
00:14:50,868 --> 00:14:54,868
As my mother used to say,
you are cruisin' for a bruisin'.
290
00:14:54,868 --> 00:14:56,338
You better do what he says.
291
00:14:56,338 --> 00:14:57,838
He has the gavel.
292
00:14:57,838 --> 00:14:59,138
Jurors don't have gavels!
293
00:14:59,138 --> 00:15:00,038
BANG! BANG!
294
00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:02,308
I beg to differ.
295
00:15:02,308 --> 00:15:04,608
Elise, please. Sit down.
You're causing a disruption.
296
00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:06,510
I don't believe this.
297
00:15:06,540 --> 00:15:07,410
Thank you.
298
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:11,610
Now, the judge has asked me to
convey the following message:
299
00:15:11,618 --> 00:15:15,888
We are to disregard all the
testimony we've heard so far.
300
00:15:15,888 --> 00:15:18,088
Really? All of it?
301
00:15:18,098 --> 00:15:19,358
Absolutely.
302
00:15:19,358 --> 00:15:21,258
And he asked that we
find the defendant
303
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:24,968
innocent on all counts.
304
00:15:24,968 --> 00:15:25,738
Dan!
305
00:15:25,738 --> 00:15:27,338
Well, if the judge said so...
306
00:15:27,338 --> 00:15:29,468
He didn't say so! Dan's lying!
307
00:15:29,468 --> 00:15:31,808
But he has the robes.
308
00:15:31,808 --> 00:15:36,308
When's the last time you saw a
judge in a powdered wig? 1812?
309
00:15:36,318 --> 00:15:38,648
Let's take a vote.
All in favor of acquittal?
310
00:15:40,078 --> 00:15:41,548
Good, then it's unanimous.
311
00:15:41,548 --> 00:15:43,218
No it's not!
312
00:15:43,218 --> 00:15:45,758
Why are you being
so difficult, Elise?
313
00:15:45,758 --> 00:15:47,788
Whose pocket are you in?
314
00:15:47,788 --> 00:15:50,058
I will come around this
table and smack you so hard
315
00:15:50,058 --> 00:15:51,228
Mr. Mumbles will feel it.
316
00:15:51,228 --> 00:15:56,228
Isn't it true that someone tried
to bribe you this very morning!?
317
00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:56,960
Yes, Dan.
318
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,430
YOU offered me ten
dollars to throw the case.
319
00:15:59,438 --> 00:16:00,898
The answer's still no.
320
00:16:00,908 --> 00:16:03,368
Maybe this will change your
mind.
321
00:16:10,508 --> 00:16:11,978
(dan o.s.)
Hey! Give that back!
322
00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:15,888
Elise stole your
gavel, your honor.
323
00:16:15,888 --> 00:16:16,948
I tried to stop her.
324
00:16:19,318 --> 00:16:22,728
As your new jury foreman, it
behooves me to tell you that I
325
00:16:22,728 --> 00:16:26,298
haven't been paying attention,
like, at all this whole time.
326
00:16:26,298 --> 00:16:27,898
So, what's been happening?
327
00:16:27,898 --> 00:16:28,798
Tell me.
328
00:16:30,068 --> 00:16:31,498
I blame you.
329
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,330
Can't believe I'm
stuck here with
330
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:48,400
stupid Elise for a neighbor.
331
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:52,700
(chokes, sputtering coughing)
332
00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:57,840
Dan, are you okay?
333
00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:58,840
Not that I care too much.
334
00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,480
Neighbor!
335
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,180
Well, it's nicer than what
you usually call me.
336
00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:05,280
No! I just realized something!
337
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,990
Can you get us out of this cage?
338
00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:08,620
Sure.
339
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:11,000
Then hurry up and do it!
I'll explain in the car.
340
00:17:11,590 --> 00:17:13,760
Why exactly would I help you?
341
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,530
Elise, I'm sorry I snapped at
you.
342
00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:18,130
You're a good person
and you have
343
00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:19,830
excellent taste in footwear.
344
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,470
Buttering me up won't work.
345
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:22,870
How about begging?
346
00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:27,040
Please? Please. Please
Please Please Please!
347
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,970
Okay, okay. Stop it!
348
00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:31,560
Help me dig to the
bottom of the cage.
349
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:35,680
Uh... Did you know there's
a dead guy in here?
350
00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:38,220
He's not dead, he's just Danish.
351
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,550
How's my expert witness feeling?
352
00:17:41,630 --> 00:17:42,180
Great!
353
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,320
At first I was doing this
for the food, but you know,
354
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,890
I really enjoy being asked my
opinion about important issues.
355
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,730
Yes, I am an expert in
child psychology.../
356
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:56,470
My field is particle
physics.../ Neuroscience.../
357
00:17:56,470 --> 00:17:58,000
Animal husbandry.
358
00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:03,510
What's that?
359
00:18:03,510 --> 00:18:04,320
Laser torch.
360
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,010
It doesn't set off metal
detectors.
361
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:07,850
I had to leave most of
my good stuff in the car.
362
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:13,950
We're through.
363
00:18:18,590 --> 00:18:19,490
So where are we going?
364
00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:20,790
Ninja Dave's.
365
00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:22,530
If you've talked me
into breaking out of
366
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:25,030
the courthouse for a
cookie run, so help me...
367
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,300
It's not like that!
368
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:26,830
...though I do
369
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:28,990
suggest we get some
cookies while we're there.
370
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:35,610
It's easiest to think of
the space time continuum
371
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:38,580
as if it were a big
plate of nachos...
372
00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:41,550
Uh, you're our
expert in child psychology...
373
00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:42,680
Right.
374
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:47,250
That's also like a big plate
of nachos. Only smaller.
375
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,090
For children.
376
00:18:52,190 --> 00:18:53,420
That was terrible!
377
00:18:53,430 --> 00:18:56,130
I'm sorry, I got confused!
378
00:18:56,130 --> 00:18:57,360
You are fired!
379
00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:02,600
Best job I ever had...
380
00:19:02,970 --> 00:19:05,070
Chris, there you are!
381
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:05,940
Hey, guys.
382
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:07,570
There's no time for small talk.
383
00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:10,910
We have to get this tape into
the courtroom and stop an
384
00:19:10,910 --> 00:19:13,510
innocent man from
going to jail!
385
00:19:13,510 --> 00:19:14,980
You sure you don't want
to review it first?
386
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:16,380
There's no time!
387
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:18,650
There was time to stop
for a hamburger.
388
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:19,920
Do you have a point?
389
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:24,450
Has the jury reached a verdict?
390
00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:26,490
We have, o Rumpole
of the Bailey.
391
00:19:26,490 --> 00:19:27,520
We find the defendant--
392
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:30,890
Stop right there!
393
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:31,900
(gasps)
394
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,600
If it may please the court,
395
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,870
I would like to call
someone to the stand.
396
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,570
Your honor, I object.
397
00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:39,140
The trial is over. I"m tired.
398
00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:41,840
And isn't this one of
our jurors?!
399
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,240
Overruled.
400
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,530
I want to see where this goes.
401
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,580
Thank you, your honor.
402
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,110
I call...
403
00:19:47,110 --> 00:19:48,580
You!
404
00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:49,850
(more gasps)
405
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,820
Isn't it true, sir, that
you are a terrible lawyer?
406
00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,090
I object!
407
00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:59,920
Overruled!
408
00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:01,460
Your honor?!
409
00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:03,290
I'll allow it.
410
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,160
You are terrible.
411
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,730
Do you know what is across
the street from Burger Bonanza?
412
00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:10,300
Uh... No.
413
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,240
It's Ninja Dave's cookie shop.
414
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,710
And were you aware,
Mr. Public Defender,
415
00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:20,780
if that is your real name,
that Ninja Dave recently
416
00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:23,410
added video surveillance
to his security system?
417
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:27,120
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,
418
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:30,420
here is the security tape
from the night in question.
419
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,470
Now we'll see
who the real culprit is!
420
00:20:43,370 --> 00:20:45,170
Ah, ha! You see?!
421
00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:47,970
It's... Oh.
422
00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:49,140
(chris o.s.) It's Dan!
423
00:20:49,140 --> 00:20:52,780
Huh... I guess I forgot
about doing that.
424
00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:55,080
Bailiff, take this
man into custody.
425
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,910
The defendant is free to go.
426
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:00,320
Hey, not so tight!
427
00:21:01,550 --> 00:21:03,020
Well, that has to be a first.
428
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:05,020
We were totally
gonna find the guy
429
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:06,590
"Not Guilty" anyway...
430
00:21:06,590 --> 00:21:08,390
Don't worry about me, guys.
431
00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:10,660
Now that I know
how a jury works,
432
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,660
I'll be back on the
street in no time.
433
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:16,600
If you need an expert witness...
434
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:17,470
(door slams)
435
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:22,070
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