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1
00:00:15,510 --> 00:00:19,310
Thanks for the lift, Charlie.
Pick me up around 9:00 tomorrow morning.
2
00:00:23,862 --> 00:00:26,422
Lily, pussycat is home.
3
00:00:31,094 --> 00:00:34,188
Good evening, dear.
Good evening, dear.
4
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:36,694
I see the carpool
dropped you off again.
5
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:39,859
Yes, and it was quite
restful riding in the back.
6
00:00:44,821 --> 00:00:47,119
Oh! Mail, dear?
7
00:00:47,093 --> 00:00:50,062
No, but it's something
I'm very upset about.
8
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:53,134
I was putting up
some new cobwebs in Marilyn's room,
9
00:00:53,077 --> 00:00:57,241
and I, um, accidentally found this
hidden in her bureau drawer.
10
00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,837
Oh, a love letter.
[Laughs]
11
00:00:59,797 --> 00:01:02,288
Let's read it.
Herman, it's not a love letter.
12
00:01:02,261 --> 00:01:05,662
It's an announcement
of a parents' night at Marilyn's school.
13
00:01:05,588 --> 00:01:08,921
It's next Saturday night
and she hasn't even asked us yet.
14
00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:13,585
I have a feeling she doesn't
want us to be seen at her school for some strange reason.
15
00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:16,759
And I think we ought to get
to the bottom of this at supper.
16
00:01:16,692 --> 00:01:18,853
Well, it may not be
that serious, Lily.
17
00:01:18,836 --> 00:01:21,066
L-It may just have
slipped her mind.
18
00:01:21,044 --> 00:01:23,239
Things are always
popping out of my head.
19
00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:26,553
Yes, but with you,
we can always put them back in.
20
00:02:31,122 --> 00:02:33,056
Now remember, Herman,
21
00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:37,808
we have to find out why Marilyn
hasn't mentioned parents' night at school.
22
00:02:37,681 --> 00:02:40,149
But we have to be
very subtle about it.
23
00:02:40,113 --> 00:02:42,206
Be very subtle. I see.
24
00:02:44,049 --> 00:02:46,108
How do we do that?
25
00:02:46,097 --> 00:02:48,122
Well, we lead up
to it gradually.
26
00:02:48,113 --> 00:02:51,776
First I'll bring up
the subject of cars. Cars.
27
00:02:51,697 --> 00:02:55,155
That'll lead to driving.
Driving.
28
00:02:55,089 --> 00:03:00,527
And then I'll bring up
the subject of driving to school. Driving to school. Of course.
29
00:03:00,368 --> 00:03:02,598
And that'll lead up to...
30
00:03:02,577 --> 00:03:04,738
[Together]
Parents' night.
31
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,120
Gotcha.
[Door Opens]
32
00:03:07,088 --> 00:03:10,888
Oh, my! Everything looks
so delicious, Lily.
33
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,768
Oh, thank you,
Grandpa.
34
00:03:17,712 --> 00:03:19,577
[Clears Throat]
35
00:03:22,224 --> 00:03:26,183
Uh, Marilyn, how do you feel
about the new cars?
36
00:03:26,096 --> 00:03:29,122
New cars?
Well, I think that...
37
00:03:29,072 --> 00:03:31,768
And how come you didn't
ask us to parents' night at school?
38
00:03:33,871 --> 00:03:37,307
Parents'night? Well,
where did you hear about that?
39
00:03:37,232 --> 00:03:40,531
Well... Well, dear,
I was dusting your room,
40
00:03:40,464 --> 00:03:42,898
and I just happened
to come across the invitation.
41
00:03:42,863 --> 00:03:45,730
It's, uh, next Saturday night,
isn't it?
42
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:49,013
Yes, Marilyn.
Don't try to hide anything.
43
00:03:48,943 --> 00:03:53,346
You know, in this family
nothing ever stays buried.
44
00:03:53,231 --> 00:03:55,358
The reason I didn't mention it
was because...
45
00:03:55,343 --> 00:03:58,073
Well, because of you,
Uncle Herman.
46
00:03:58,031 --> 00:04:02,900
Me? Well, why wouldn't you
want me, of all people, to go to parents' night?
47
00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:05,234
Well, I just didn't think
you'd care for it.
48
00:04:05,198 --> 00:04:07,689
It's going to be sort of
a dinner dance.
49
00:04:07,662 --> 00:04:10,597
Oh. [Chuckles]
Dancing.
50
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:14,911
Why didn't you say so?
Dancing has never been one of my strong points.
51
00:04:14,798 --> 00:04:17,961
I guess you could say
I have two left feet.
52
00:04:17,902 --> 00:04:21,565
Well, that's what happens
when they put someone together in the dark.
53
00:04:22,382 --> 00:04:23,849
Herman,
54
00:04:25,326 --> 00:04:27,260
I think we should go.
55
00:04:27,246 --> 00:04:31,148
I mean, at your age,
it's high time you took up dancing.
56
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:34,921
Lily, you know I hate dancing.
I've always hated to dance.
57
00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:40,268
I'm not going through with it.
I am not going down there at the risk of making a fool out of myself.
58
00:04:40,109 --> 00:04:42,509
I am not going dancing!
59
00:04:48,430 --> 00:04:50,523
And one, two, three.
60
00:04:50,509 --> 00:04:54,502
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
61
00:04:54,413 --> 00:04:56,540
One, two, three. One...
62
00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:59,721
Herman. Herman, relax.
You're so stiff.
63
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:01,719
Yeah, Herman, let everything go.
64
00:05:01,709 --> 00:05:03,643
Well, I'll-I'll try,
65
00:05:03,629 --> 00:05:06,757
but the last time I let everything go,
some of it didn't come back.
66
00:05:10,764 --> 00:05:14,393
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
67
00:05:14,316 --> 00:05:17,046
One, two, three.
68
00:05:17,004 --> 00:05:21,805
One, two, three.
One, two...
69
00:05:24,396 --> 00:05:26,660
One, two, three.
70
00:05:26,635 --> 00:05:29,331
One, two, three.
One, two...
71
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,233
One, two, three.
72
00:05:34,219 --> 00:05:36,687
I think I'm getting the knack of it.
[Laughs]
73
00:05:44,108 --> 00:05:46,804
Timber!
74
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,754
Herman...
[Harp Thrums]
75
00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:54,362
You know something, Lily,
76
00:05:54,347 --> 00:05:56,872
I just got a new respect
for Lawrence Welk.
77
00:05:58,539 --> 00:06:01,235
Marilyn, Eddie!
What happened?
78
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,685
Come and help
your Uncle Herman.
79
00:06:03,659 --> 00:06:05,593
Careful.
80
00:06:06,475 --> 00:06:08,409
[Exhales]
81
00:06:09,963 --> 00:06:13,091
Listen, Lily.
They're playing our song.
82
00:06:14,154 --> 00:06:16,088
Ah!
83
00:06:16,074 --> 00:06:19,874
If that Herman wants to dance,
I'll mix him something that'll make him dance.
84
00:06:19,786 --> 00:06:22,914
Ho, ho! Now, let me see.
Ah, yes, now I know.
85
00:06:24,042 --> 00:06:26,067
A little potassium.
86
00:06:26,058 --> 00:06:28,788
?? [Humming]
87
00:06:28,746 --> 00:06:30,976
A pinch of chlorophyll.
88
00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:36,523
Two fingers of Geritol.
89
00:06:38,474 --> 00:06:40,408
A dash of bitters.
90
00:06:42,185 --> 00:06:45,245
And now for the secret ingredient!
91
00:06:46,857 --> 00:06:49,951
A pair of Fred Astaire's
dancing shoes.
92
00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,801
[Shoes Tapping, Shuffling]
93
00:06:55,689 --> 00:06:57,680
Go, Fred, go.
94
00:06:58,921 --> 00:07:00,855
Grandpa?
95
00:07:03,529 --> 00:07:07,829
Grandpa, are you
making lasagna again? You're smelling up the whole house.
96
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:14,186
No, as a matter of fact, I'm whipping up
a batch of my secret dancing potion.
97
00:07:14,056 --> 00:07:16,991
This will make you
a wonderful dancer.
98
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:20,099
No, sir. I'm not drinking
anything you mix up.
99
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:23,703
Okay. Go to
the parents' night dance.
100
00:07:23,624 --> 00:07:26,559
Disgrace poor Marilyn.
Make a fool of yourself.
101
00:07:26,504 --> 00:07:29,962
I'm not gonna
disgrace anybody. Listen to this.
102
00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:32,387
I found an ad in the newspaper,
and they're gonna make me...
103
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:35,056
an accomplished ballroom dancer
in three easy lessons.
104
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,011
Listen:
"Happyland Ballroom.
105
00:07:38,983 --> 00:07:42,612
"Fox-trot, tango, samba, watusi.
All the latest steps.
106
00:07:42,536 --> 00:07:45,232
"Gain poise, popularity.
Make friends.
107
00:07:45,191 --> 00:07:47,216
Free trial lesson.
Private and group rates. '"
108
00:07:47,207 --> 00:07:49,675
Herman, listen to me.
109
00:07:49,639 --> 00:07:52,301
There are plenty
of good dancing schools,
110
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,891
but you gotta watch out
for the shysters.
111
00:07:54,855 --> 00:07:56,880
Shysters?
112
00:07:56,871 --> 00:07:59,203
Uh, but look what it says...
113
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:02,871
"Let us bring out the inner you
at our low monthly rates."
114
00:08:02,791 --> 00:08:07,319
And it's signed,
"Happy Havemeyer, Doctor ofTerpsichore."
115
00:08:08,199 --> 00:08:10,565
Okay. If that's
what you want to do.
116
00:08:10,534 --> 00:08:15,972
That's exactly what I want to do.
I'm going to go down there and sign up first thing in the morning.
117
00:08:15,814 --> 00:08:17,782
Hm.
118
00:08:17,766 --> 00:08:19,734
Hm!
119
00:08:26,118 --> 00:08:29,781
All right, fine.
Yes, that'll be okay. Bye-bye.
120
00:08:31,334 --> 00:08:33,564
Miss Valentine,
if you would.
121
00:08:36,038 --> 00:08:37,972
Miss Valentine,
122
00:08:37,958 --> 00:08:42,361
since you're a new instructor
here at Happyland, I'd like to acquaint you with our policy.
123
00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:44,645
Most of our clients are older people,
124
00:08:44,613 --> 00:08:47,548
misfits, widowers,
people searching for friendship.
125
00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:51,122
Some are rather bewildered,
and they come to us looking for guidance.
126
00:08:51,045 --> 00:08:53,070
We have a definite approach
to these folks.
127
00:08:53,061 --> 00:08:56,929
- What's that, Doctor?
- We take 'em for all they've got.
128
00:08:57,924 --> 00:08:59,858
Uncle Herman left early,
didn't he?
129
00:08:59,844 --> 00:09:03,678
Yes, the sweet thing went downtown
to take dancing lessons.
130
00:09:03,588 --> 00:09:06,955
He's so anxious
to make a good impression at the parents' night dance.
131
00:09:06,884 --> 00:09:09,648
I'm surprised that he never learned
to dance when he was younger.
132
00:09:09,604 --> 00:09:13,438
Well, when other young men
were going to parties and dances,
133
00:09:13,348 --> 00:09:15,839
I'm afraid he was always tied up
in the laboratory.
134
00:09:17,412 --> 00:09:20,870
You know, they have
women teachers down at those dancing schools.
135
00:09:20,804 --> 00:09:25,070
I just hope one of them
doesn't fall in love with your Uncle Herman's gentle charms.
136
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:28,900
[Screams]
Doctor Havemeyer.! Doctor Havemeyer.!
137
00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:32,967
Calm down, Miss Valentine.
What happened?
138
00:09:32,868 --> 00:09:36,497
Well, l-I know you said
there'd be a lot of weirdos and misfits around here,
139
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:39,685
but you should've seen
what just walked in and wanted to take dancing lessons.
140
00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:42,747
You gotta see him!
Now, now. There's no need for me to see him.
141
00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:44,784
Didn't I tell you
to expect all kinds?
142
00:09:44,771 --> 00:09:48,070
Now, you get back in there,
turn on the charm.
143
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:50,836
Flatter him. Tell him
how great a dancer he is.
144
00:09:50,787 --> 00:09:54,587
And then when you got him hooked,
get him to sign our 10-year contract.
145
00:09:54,499 --> 00:09:58,265
[Chuckles]
Well, I'll try.
146
00:09:58,179 --> 00:10:01,808
It's times like this I wish I'd stayed
with the Roller Derby.
147
00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:05,945
Oh, there you are, miss.
148
00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:09,587
Was there some emergency?
You left here so fast, I thought the place was on fire.
149
00:10:09,507 --> 00:10:11,668
[Laughs]
No such luck.
150
00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:13,982
Well, shall we start?
Alrighty.
151
00:10:15,106 --> 00:10:17,131
?? [Jazz]
152
00:10:17,122 --> 00:10:19,215
Uh, excuse me.
153
00:10:23,522 --> 00:10:28,016
Yeah, that's better.
Now, the first thing you have to do is put your arm around me.
154
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:30,736
Oh, uh...
155
00:10:35,105 --> 00:10:37,266
I saw Robert Montgomery
do that once.
156
00:10:38,849 --> 00:10:40,976
Ready?
Ready.
157
00:10:40,961 --> 00:10:43,191
And... one...
158
00:10:43,169 --> 00:10:48,471
And... one and two
and one and two.
159
00:10:48,321 --> 00:10:50,482
And three and four.
160
00:10:50,465 --> 00:10:54,128
Now one and two
and three and four...
161
00:10:54,049 --> 00:10:57,746
and one and two
and three and four.
162
00:10:57,665 --> 00:11:00,793
Tell me, Mr. Munster,
have you ever danced professionally?
163
00:11:00,737 --> 00:11:03,365
Professionally?
Heavens no!
164
00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:06,263
I would have
never known.
165
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:08,142
Really?
166
00:11:08,128 --> 00:11:10,323
[Laughs]
167
00:11:12,736 --> 00:11:15,796
[Herman]
Yoo-hoo, Lily. I'm home.
168
00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:18,736
Oh, welcome home, dear.
169
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:25,464
Well, how did my sweetheart
make out at dancing class?
170
00:11:25,376 --> 00:11:28,743
How did I make out?
I made out just beautifully, Lily.
171
00:11:28,672 --> 00:11:33,132
Miss Valentine said
after just one lesson, I was a natural born dancer.
172
00:11:33,024 --> 00:11:36,858
She's never seen such a talent.
Oh, that's wonderful!
173
00:11:36,768 --> 00:11:39,532
I just know that when I
dance with you at the ball,
174
00:11:39,488 --> 00:11:41,956
every eye in the room
will be on us.
175
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,855
And, Lily, Miss Valentine
said that Dr. Havemeyer...
176
00:11:44,799 --> 00:11:47,962
might even make me a teacher
after a few more lessons.
177
00:11:47,903 --> 00:11:49,666
A teacher!
178
00:11:49,663 --> 00:11:52,689
And, Lily, I was reading today
in a fan magazine...
179
00:11:52,638 --> 00:11:56,938
You know, that's the way
Gene Kelly started out... as a dancing teacher.
180
00:11:56,830 --> 00:11:59,094
Then he starred in Pal Joey,
181
00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:01,903
then he was a big smash
in For Me and My Gal,
182
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:05,187
and then there was
Gene's biggest hit, Singing in the Rain.
183
00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:10,522
? I'm singing in the rain
just singing in the rain?
184
00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:14,428
? What a glorious feeling
I'm happy again?
185
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:18,202
? I'm laughing at clouds?
[Laughs]
186
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:20,544
? So dark up above?
187
00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:24,241
? The sun's in my heart
and I'm ready for love??
188
00:12:24,158 --> 00:12:26,991
[Laughs]
189
00:12:26,942 --> 00:12:28,876
[Harp Thrums]
190
00:12:28,862 --> 00:12:31,956
Marilyn, Grandpa.
Come on.
191
00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:37,229
Oh, boy. He's got
his head in the harp again.
192
00:12:37,181 --> 00:12:40,207
[Caws]
What a crack-up.!
193
00:12:41,053 --> 00:12:44,181
Please, watch the face.
I'm gonna be a star.
194
00:12:47,197 --> 00:12:51,395
?? [Jazz]
195
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:13,282
[Laughing]
196
00:13:16,316 --> 00:13:18,944
?? [Ends]
197
00:13:21,244 --> 00:13:24,736
Mr. Munster!
Mr. Munster!
198
00:13:25,563 --> 00:13:28,794
What is it?
The music has stopped.
199
00:13:28,732 --> 00:13:30,859
Don't bring me back now.
I'm too far out!
200
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,642
Oh, Mr. Mun...
Man, it's wig city!
201
00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,946
Please, Mr. Munster. Please.
202
00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:40,147
Your lesson is over
for this evening.
203
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:44,492
However, Dr. Havemeyer
would like you to sign up for a special course.
204
00:13:44,379 --> 00:13:48,645
It's inexpensive and the lessons
extend over a 10-year period.
205
00:13:48,539 --> 00:13:50,837
Really?
Am I that good?
206
00:13:50,811 --> 00:13:53,473
Oh, yes. You're marvelous!
207
00:13:53,435 --> 00:13:55,665
Wheeee!
208
00:13:55,643 --> 00:13:59,636
Sit down right here,
and I'll get you the papers to sign.
209
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:02,880
[Breathing Heavily]
Catch your breath.
210
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:04,801
They're, um...
211
00:14:04,795 --> 00:14:08,561
They're all stapled together,
so you don't have to bother to read the fine print.
212
00:14:09,434 --> 00:14:11,402
Thank you.
213
00:14:14,426 --> 00:14:16,360
That's very thoughtful of you.
214
00:14:22,234 --> 00:14:25,465
Hey, Mom, can I take Spot
to school with me today?
215
00:14:25,402 --> 00:14:27,495
Not today, Eddie.
Spot's being punished.
216
00:14:27,482 --> 00:14:30,849
He got out last night and ate
all the neighbor's trash cans.
217
00:14:32,153 --> 00:14:34,087
Morning, all.
Hi.
218
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,667
Morning, Lily.
Good morning, dear.
219
00:14:36,634 --> 00:14:40,297
Morning, Herman.
Uh, how's Gene Kelly this morning?
220
00:14:40,217 --> 00:14:45,348
Couldn't be better.
The dancing school is signing me up to a 10-year contract.
221
00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:49,077
Marilyn, you're gonna be
very proud of your Uncle Herman at the dance Saturday night.
222
00:14:48,985 --> 00:14:51,613
Your lunch pail's
all packed, dear. And here's your breakfast.
223
00:14:51,577 --> 00:14:54,102
Oh, thank you.
[Car Horn Honks]
224
00:14:54,072 --> 00:14:57,235
Oh, there's the carpool.
I'd better run.
225
00:15:15,896 --> 00:15:21,857
Wrong? It's this contract
that Herman signed with the dancing school.
226
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:26,352
He signed a 10-year contract
for 1,500 lessons...
227
00:15:26,232 --> 00:15:29,565
at 750 a lesson!
Why, that's...
228
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,463
11,250.
229
00:15:31,448 --> 00:15:34,679
Thank you, Eddie.
And that's only the beginning.
230
00:15:34,615 --> 00:15:37,709
There's more?
More?
231
00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:41,250
A life insurance policy
naming the school as benefiiciary.
232
00:15:41,175 --> 00:15:44,941
In case of default,
a garnishee on Herman's salary.
233
00:15:44,855 --> 00:15:49,315
A lien on his home.
An attachment on his automobile.
234
00:15:50,358 --> 00:15:53,156
And in case of any legal action,
235
00:15:53,111 --> 00:15:56,945
a waiver of all his rights
as an American citizen.
236
00:15:56,855 --> 00:15:58,482
What are we going to do, Grandpa?
237
00:15:58,487 --> 00:16:01,388
Well, we just can't let him
know he's been taken.
238
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:04,826
Poor dear is so sensitive,
he's liable to go right into his shell.
239
00:16:04,758 --> 00:16:08,216
His shell? What did you marry,
a man or a lobster?
240
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:12,280
Oh, Grandpa. We'll just have to
think of some other way.
241
00:16:12,182 --> 00:16:14,241
Oh, Lily. Forget it.
242
00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:16,790
Lily, I got it. I got it.
I'll take care of it.
243
00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:18,692
Now, the first thing I'll do,
244
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,703
I'll turn that whole school
into a swamp.
245
00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:24,926
Then I'll turn the owner into a frog.
Then I'll turn all the other teachers into lizards.
246
00:16:24,821 --> 00:16:29,451
I'll turn myself Into an alligator.
A hungry alligator. Then I'll start eatin' my way...
247
00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:33,498
Oh, stop it, Father.
This is no time to be thinking of your pleasures.
248
00:16:33,398 --> 00:16:37,596
Aw, gee, Mom. You never let Grandpa
have any fun anymore.
249
00:16:37,494 --> 00:16:39,428
Never you mind, Eddie.
250
00:16:39,414 --> 00:16:41,575
We Munsters
are law-abiding citizens,
251
00:16:41,557 --> 00:16:43,889
and we're going to call
the police right now.
252
00:16:43,861 --> 00:16:47,353
Well, you better hurry. Herman's
got another lesson tonight.
253
00:16:51,061 --> 00:16:53,723
Right. I gotcha.
Okay. Bye-bye.
254
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,870
Miss Valentine,
255
00:16:56,852 --> 00:17:00,720
I just got an inside tip
that the cops are going to run an investigation on us.
256
00:17:00,629 --> 00:17:04,759
Look, what they usually do is
they get an investigator to pose as a student.
257
00:17:04,661 --> 00:17:07,960
Some clod who acts like he can't
get out of his own way.
258
00:17:07,892 --> 00:17:11,919
And when he gets the evidence on us...
Wham! Out come the handcuffs.
259
00:17:11,828 --> 00:17:15,320
[Herman]
Yoo-hoo.! Uh, Miss Valentine?
260
00:17:15,252 --> 00:17:17,413
Twinkletoes is here!
261
00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:19,523
I'll be right there.!
262
00:17:21,844 --> 00:17:23,869
If you think that the...
263
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:30,116
Look, Dr. Havemeyer.
Speaking of clods who can't get out of their own way,
264
00:17:30,036 --> 00:17:32,004
I think the police
are onto us already.
265
00:17:31,987 --> 00:17:36,651
- What do you mean?
- You know that student we signed up to the 10-year contract yesterday?
266
00:17:36,531 --> 00:17:39,261
I didn't think he was for real
from the beginning.
267
00:17:39,219 --> 00:17:42,450
Yeah? I'd better
have a look at him.
268
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,758
?? [Jazz]
269
00:17:59,858 --> 00:18:01,826
Wow.
270
00:18:01,811 --> 00:18:04,371
That's the weirdest disguise
I've ever seen.
271
00:18:04,339 --> 00:18:06,273
The cops are really
reaching this time.
272
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:09,251
He looks like a cross between
Little Abner and Ramses II.
273
00:18:09,202 --> 00:18:12,171
What do we do now, Doctor?
We take desperate measures.
274
00:18:12,114 --> 00:18:14,048
We turn honest.
275
00:18:14,034 --> 00:18:16,002
We tell him after
analyzing his dancing,
276
00:18:15,986 --> 00:18:19,979
we find out that he
has absolutely no talent, and we're refunding his money.
277
00:18:22,514 --> 00:18:26,951
But, Dr. Havemeyer,
M-M-Miss Valentine,
278
00:18:26,833 --> 00:18:29,529
y-you must be kidding me.
279
00:18:29,490 --> 00:18:33,927
I'm afraid not, Mr. Munster.
You mean I won't be a dancing teacher?
280
00:18:33,809 --> 00:18:37,609
No. Upon analysis, we find your dancing
to be crude and awkward.
281
00:18:37,521 --> 00:18:39,921
And your coordination is atrocious.
282
00:18:39,889 --> 00:18:42,449
You have absolutely no sense of rhythm.
283
00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:44,476
But I wanna be a teacher,
284
00:18:44,465 --> 00:18:47,400
and maybe get to Broadway,
285
00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:49,403
and then get to Hollywood,
286
00:18:49,393 --> 00:18:53,591
and become a big dancing star
like Gene Kelly.
287
00:18:53,489 --> 00:18:59,359
And get to meet people like
Kirk Douglas and Nick Adams and all those big shots.
288
00:18:59,184 --> 00:19:02,551
I'm sorry. It is our decision
to return your money,
289
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,210
tear up your contract
and discontinue your lessons.
290
00:19:05,169 --> 00:19:07,103
But you can't do that.
291
00:19:08,784 --> 00:19:11,753
I mean, I promised to go
to parents' night with my niece...
292
00:19:11,696 --> 00:19:16,030
and do the fox-trot
and the bunny hop.
293
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,718
Well, now I'll just look
silly and stupid.
294
00:19:18,671 --> 00:19:22,801
I don't wanna look
stupid and silly.
295
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:25,002
I don't want to. I don't want to.
296
00:19:24,976 --> 00:19:26,944
I don't want to!
I don't want to! I don't want to!
297
00:19:26,928 --> 00:19:28,919
I don't want to.! I don't want to.!
298
00:19:30,672 --> 00:19:33,300
[Record Crashes]
299
00:19:34,703 --> 00:19:36,694
What do you think, Doctor?
300
00:19:36,687 --> 00:19:40,953
I think it's the greatest performance
by a policeman since Pat O'Brien.
301
00:19:41,743 --> 00:19:44,075
I told my date that
we'd meet him at the dance.
302
00:19:44,047 --> 00:19:45,981
Well, that's a good idea, Marilyn.
303
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:49,198
The last time a young man
came to our house to pick you up,
304
00:19:49,134 --> 00:19:52,865
he had some sort of an attack
right on our front porch.
305
00:19:52,782 --> 00:19:55,774
Oh, I wonder if Uncle Herman
has the car out yet.
306
00:19:58,734 --> 00:20:00,759
Why, Herman, you're not
even dressed yet.
307
00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:03,219
Yes, Uncle Herman.
And we're due there now.
308
00:20:03,182 --> 00:20:06,117
I'm sorry, girls.
I'm not going.
309
00:20:06,062 --> 00:20:09,896
Not going? But we've been
looking forward to this all week,
310
00:20:09,806 --> 00:20:11,967
and you took
all those dancing lessons.
311
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:14,851
And you brought that tuxedo home
from the parlor and everything.
312
00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:20,168
Well, Herman has
something to tell you about the dancing school.
313
00:20:20,013 --> 00:20:24,450
Well, the truth is that last night,
they tore up my 10-year contract,
314
00:20:24,334 --> 00:20:27,997
gave me back the money
and told me to get lost.
315
00:20:27,918 --> 00:20:31,615
Oh, well, that was
just a phony school.
316
00:20:31,533 --> 00:20:34,502
W-Well, that doesn't matter.
W-What does matter is...
317
00:20:34,446 --> 00:20:38,815
they showed me that I must
face the truth about myself.
318
00:20:38,701 --> 00:20:43,263
And I realize that when you
add it up on the scoreboard of life,
319
00:20:43,149 --> 00:20:47,279
Herman Munster is just
a big, awkward clod.
320
00:20:48,109 --> 00:20:51,567
Oh, darling,
you are not at all.
321
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:56,905
Well, uh, be that as it may,
l-I want you to go to the dance, Lily, and you, Marilyn,
322
00:20:56,748 --> 00:20:58,773
and enjoy yourselves...
323
00:20:58,764 --> 00:21:02,222
amidst the lights
and the music and the gaiety.
324
00:21:02,156 --> 00:21:04,647
But, pussycat...
No, no. No, no.
325
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:08,579
Lily, I want you to go.
L-I insist.
326
00:21:08,492 --> 00:21:11,393
And, uh, if, during the evening,
some attractive gentlemen...
327
00:21:11,340 --> 00:21:14,332
comes up to you
and asks you to dance,
328
00:21:14,284 --> 00:21:17,014
I want you to feel free to accept.
329
00:21:16,972 --> 00:21:21,068
And, uh, while you're dancing,
and he's holding you tight,
330
00:21:20,972 --> 00:21:23,497
I don't want you
to give one moment's thought...
331
00:21:23,467 --> 00:21:25,628
to your faithful husband
sitting here alone...
332
00:21:25,612 --> 00:21:29,639
with his shriveled-up
old father-in-law.
333
00:21:29,547 --> 00:21:31,913
Herman, you're all heart.
334
00:21:31,884 --> 00:21:33,909
Oh, but, Uncle Herman...
335
00:21:33,899 --> 00:21:38,529
No, no. Go... out the door
and don't look back.
336
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:42,935
Well, all right, Herman,
if you insist.
337
00:21:42,859 --> 00:21:44,884
Come on, Marilyn.
338
00:21:46,955 --> 00:21:48,889
[Door Opens, Closes]
339
00:21:49,803 --> 00:21:53,261
You know, shrivel...
l-I mean, Grandpa...
340
00:21:53,195 --> 00:21:56,528
it gives me a good feeling inside
knowing I did the right thing.
341
00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:59,291
[Caws]
What a cornball.!
342
00:22:00,906 --> 00:22:02,931
[Lily]
Owwww.!
343
00:22:02,923 --> 00:22:04,914
[Marilyn]
Grandpa, Herman.
344
00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:06,840
Aunt Lily fell on
the front porch.
345
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:10,455
What happened?
Is she all right? Well, I think she sprained her ankle.
346
00:22:10,378 --> 00:22:14,109
Oooh.! Oooh. Oooh.
347
00:22:14,026 --> 00:22:16,085
Just help me
to the sofa, Herman.
348
00:22:16,074 --> 00:22:18,338
I don't know
how it happened.
349
00:22:20,778 --> 00:22:23,906
Grandpa, wasn't that
noble of Aunt Lily?
350
00:22:23,849 --> 00:22:26,477
You mean about her
not making a fuss about her ankle?
351
00:22:26,442 --> 00:22:28,740
Oh, no. Because she pretended...
352
00:22:28,713 --> 00:22:32,444
that she sprained her ankle
so she could stay home with Uncle Herman.
353
00:22:33,865 --> 00:22:36,459
Oh, boy!
354
00:22:36,425 --> 00:22:39,724
This family's come a long way
from Transylvania...
355
00:22:39,657 --> 00:22:42,182
when we used to pound stakes
into each other.
356
00:22:48,937 --> 00:22:52,668
Now, Eddie, watch this.
Just watch this.
357
00:22:52,585 --> 00:22:57,545
Herman, what are you and Eddie
doing out here in all this bright sunlight?
358
00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:59,476
Daddy's practicin' baseball.
359
00:22:59,464 --> 00:23:04,424
That's right, Lily.
There's a father and son baseball game at Eddie's school,
360
00:23:04,296 --> 00:23:06,230
and I'm gonna be ready.
361
00:23:06,216 --> 00:23:10,312
I'm not gonna make a fool
of myself the way I did last week at Marilyn's dance.
362
00:23:10,216 --> 00:23:12,446
Well, you be careful now, Herman.
363
00:23:12,424 --> 00:23:16,326
Lily, please.
This is my game.
364
00:23:17,128 --> 00:23:19,358
Just watch this.
[Laughs]
365
00:23:36,551 --> 00:23:38,542
Should I bring him
in the house, Mom?
366
00:23:38,535 --> 00:23:43,199
No, Eddie, just leave him there.
The carpool will be by in 10 minutes to pick him up.
367
00:23:43,249 --> 00:23:47,799
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