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1
00:00:01,855 --> 00:00:06,292
[Man] Now, this is what we sent them:
"Out of 800,000 subscribers to our magazine,
2
00:00:06,175 --> 00:00:09,702
our research computers have selected you
as the average American family."
3
00:00:09,632 --> 00:00:12,760
We've repeated that:
"Average American family.
4
00:00:12,704 --> 00:00:17,664
"You'll receive $5,000,
and our magazine will do a full picture story on your family.
5
00:00:17,537 --> 00:00:20,370
Details to follow."
Who'd the wire go to, Mr. Morgan?
6
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,552
We sent it to
"Mr. And Mrs. Herman Munster,
7
00:00:24,449 --> 00:00:26,849
1313 Mockingbird Lane."
8
00:00:28,353 --> 00:00:32,756
Isn't it wonderful, Herman?
They say we Munsters fit the average family statistics...
9
00:00:32,642 --> 00:00:34,610
almost to a "T."
10
00:00:34,594 --> 00:00:37,358
It's quite an honor
for our family to be chosen,
11
00:00:37,314 --> 00:00:41,045
and that $5,000 prize
will come in handy too.
12
00:00:40,963 --> 00:00:44,091
And it's going to be a cover story.
Can't you just see it?
13
00:00:44,035 --> 00:00:47,402
Our picture in homes
all over the country.
14
00:00:47,332 --> 00:00:52,065
Why, with your good looks
and my handsome features, I'm sure we'll be a smash.
15
00:00:52,836 --> 00:00:55,361
[Shatters]
16
00:02:00,107 --> 00:02:03,634
[Chuckles]
Well, now. According to the second telegram,
17
00:02:03,563 --> 00:02:07,226
a photographer and a reporter
will arrive tomorrow to spend the weekend.
18
00:02:07,147 --> 00:02:11,607
Oh, good. That'll give me time
to hang my new drapes in the guest room.
19
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:15,395
We want to put on a good front
for these people.
20
00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:18,798
- I'm gonna get my best suit down
and take it down to be pressed. - Good idea.
21
00:02:18,733 --> 00:02:21,896
- Oh, and while you're there,
have your head blocked. - Yes, dear.
22
00:02:21,838 --> 00:02:24,932
Oh, and Marilyn,
why don't you go down to the beauty parlor...
23
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:27,574
and get fixed up.
24
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:30,059
Ooh, you might get them to
give you a vulture egg shampoo.
25
00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:32,089
Yes, Aunt Lily, I will.
Good.
26
00:02:32,078 --> 00:02:34,046
Dad?
Yes, Eddie?
27
00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:36,965
I'll comb the snarls
out of Spotty.
28
00:02:37,807 --> 00:02:41,140
And, uh, Grandpa,
what are you gonna do to get ready for this happy event?
29
00:02:41,071 --> 00:02:44,404
What am I going to do?
I'm gonna get out of here. That's what I'm going to do.
30
00:02:44,335 --> 00:02:46,496
Grandpa!
31
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:51,611
Grandpa, don't you realize
what an honor it is to be selected the "Average American Family"?
32
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:55,169
Think what it'll do
for our standing in the community...
33
00:02:55,089 --> 00:02:57,751
and how Eddie's playmates
will all begin to notice him.
34
00:02:57,713 --> 00:03:02,013
Honor? Why,
it's an insult to the family name to be called average.
35
00:03:01,906 --> 00:03:07,003
I happen to be a genuine count,
with the blood of princes and dukes flowing in my veins.
36
00:03:06,866 --> 00:03:09,801
Grandpa, that was in the Old Country.
37
00:03:09,747 --> 00:03:12,511
Here in America,
no one cares about royal blood.
38
00:03:12,467 --> 00:03:14,958
Spoilsports!
39
00:03:14,931 --> 00:03:17,456
Well, when that reporter
and photographer get here,
40
00:03:17,427 --> 00:03:22,194
I for one am making myself scarce,
and I'm just the one who can do it.
41
00:03:24,115 --> 00:03:27,573
[Coughs, Grumbles]
42
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:32,468
This ruins everything.
We were chosen by statistics.
43
00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:37,277
We have to show two children,
a pet, an aged grandfather and a bird.
44
00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:42,339
- [Caws] Who? Me?
- Not you, stupid. I mean Igor.
45
00:03:42,197 --> 00:03:46,224
I feel just awful about Grandpa
acting this way.
46
00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:49,068
I could just lie down and die...
Ohh.
47
00:03:49,014 --> 00:03:51,005
Again.
48
00:03:56,215 --> 00:03:58,843
Grandpa,
I wanna talk to you.
49
00:03:58,807 --> 00:04:01,367
Herman, you can talk yourself
green in the face.
50
00:04:01,336 --> 00:04:06,000
I will have nothing to do
with being part of an average American family.
51
00:04:07,192 --> 00:04:11,060
It may be the way you're made,
but it is not the way I'm made.
52
00:04:10,968 --> 00:04:14,495
Grandpa, give me one good reason
why you're against it.
53
00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:17,656
Well, think what this kind
of publicity would do to my life story.
54
00:04:17,593 --> 00:04:20,494
Why, if everybody knows me
as the typical old grandpa next door,
55
00:04:20,442 --> 00:04:23,343
who will believe the fantastic life
that I've written about?
56
00:04:23,289 --> 00:04:27,089
Grandpa,
when those reporters show up, I insist you be here.
57
00:04:27,002 --> 00:04:31,098
I won't! I won't! I won't!
If you make me, I'll turn into a bone...
58
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:33,267
and bury myself
in the backyard.
59
00:04:33,242 --> 00:04:37,679
Last time you did that,
the neighbors' dog dug you up, and we had a terrible time getting you back.
60
00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:40,691
I don't care. I won't be here.
61
00:04:40,635 --> 00:04:44,833
When those men show up, you are
not leaving the house, you understand?
62
00:04:44,732 --> 00:04:48,862
All right. I promise
I won't leave the house.
63
00:04:48,764 --> 00:04:53,133
Good.
Don't worry, Herman.
64
00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:57,651
I won't leave the house.
But as we used to say in Transylvania,
65
00:04:57,534 --> 00:05:00,765
there's more than one way
to skin a bat.
66
00:05:00,702 --> 00:05:04,604
[Igor Squeaking]
All right. All right.
67
00:05:04,509 --> 00:05:08,070
Why is everybody
around here so sensitive?
68
00:05:09,503 --> 00:05:12,995
You're booked on the morning flight,
and don't forget, fellas:
69
00:05:12,927 --> 00:05:16,055
We want real coverage and depth
on this average family.
70
00:05:15,999 --> 00:05:18,729
Togetherness and heart
in words and pictures.
71
00:05:18,687 --> 00:05:21,850
I think we oughta play it for laughs,
satirize the whole thing.
72
00:05:21,791 --> 00:05:24,055
You're all wrong,
as usual, Chip.
73
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:28,230
This is right up my alley.
All heart, these people... my kind of people.
74
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:32,963
I don't care how you handle it.
Just bring me back a story and pictures... plenty of pictures.
75
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,529
And for once,
see if you two can agree on something.
76
00:05:35,489 --> 00:05:38,287
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll get great pictures.
77
00:05:38,241 --> 00:05:41,472
"Mr. Munster polishing his car.
This fascinating shot was taken...
78
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:45,038
at a great personal risk
in a cockpit of a speeding power mower."
79
00:05:44,962 --> 00:05:48,557
Look. Stop playing
the big-shot war correspondent, will ya? The boss is right.
80
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:51,940
These are real people...
down-to-earth, heartland stuff.
81
00:05:51,875 --> 00:05:55,242
- Why, I might even
get a Pulitzer Prize out of this. - Why don't you knock it off, Len?
82
00:05:55,171 --> 00:05:57,605
You sound like Chester Morris
on the late, late, late show.
83
00:06:00,324 --> 00:06:04,693
Grandpa?
Uh, Grandpa?
84
00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,878
Oh, Grandpa?
85
00:06:13,028 --> 00:06:17,522
I can't imagine where he is.
He knows the reporters are coming this afternoon.
86
00:06:17,414 --> 00:06:20,679
I guess he's gone somewhere,
but the question is when'll he come back?
87
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:23,275
[Cawing]
Nevermore.
88
00:06:23,237 --> 00:06:26,104
Will you stay out of this?
89
00:06:26,054 --> 00:06:28,784
Uncle Herman, I think
he's trying to tell us something.
90
00:06:33,703 --> 00:06:35,796
[Caws]
91
00:06:37,928 --> 00:06:42,297
"Dear Mr. And Mrs. Average,
Igor and I have flown the coop.
92
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:46,211
Sorry we can't be there
for the picture-taking. Grandpa. '"
93
00:06:46,121 --> 00:06:49,522
[Grumbles]
And he promised me he wouldn't leave the house.
94
00:06:49,449 --> 00:06:52,680
Why, when those men show up
and find that one of our statistics is missing,
95
00:06:52,617 --> 00:06:54,949
he's liable
to call the whole deal off.
96
00:06:54,921 --> 00:06:57,719
Now we'll lose the prize money.
97
00:06:57,673 --> 00:07:02,508
Oh, and we were so looking forward
to that vacation cruise on the Dead Sea.
98
00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:04,312
Fiddlesticks!
99
00:07:13,195 --> 00:07:15,561
[Crash]
Now, Herman!
100
00:07:15,532 --> 00:07:18,524
Listen. The people
from the magazine won't be here for a while.
101
00:07:18,475 --> 00:07:21,967
Maybe you can find Grandpa
before they get here. Yes.
102
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,993
And I know all his haunts.
103
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:29,213
Now, when those men come here,
Marilyn, you show them to their room and make some excuse for us.
104
00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:31,537
Don't worry about a thing.
You just go out and find Grandpa.
105
00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:35,062
Right. We'll check all the places
where he hangs out.
106
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:37,049
Come... Come, Lily.
107
00:07:43,726 --> 00:07:45,921
Don't tell me this is it.
108
00:07:45,903 --> 00:07:48,895
Well, the place where we rented the car
said this was the street.
109
00:07:48,846 --> 00:07:53,215
There's the number: 1313.
House Beautiful it ain't.
110
00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:55,663
I've seen direct hits
that looked better than this.
111
00:07:55,631 --> 00:07:58,759
Let's go see if
Ma and Pa Kettle are home.
112
00:07:58,703 --> 00:08:01,831
[Wind Whistling]
[Wolf Howling]
113
00:08:01,776 --> 00:08:05,940
[Door Knocker Banging]
Hey, Chip, let's call the home office.
114
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:10,368
Something's wrong here.
I don't see anything very average about this.
115
00:08:11,537 --> 00:08:13,937
Neither do I.
Miss Munster?
116
00:08:13,905 --> 00:08:17,204
I'm Marilyn Munster.
You must be the men from Event Magazine.
117
00:08:17,137 --> 00:08:20,538
Yes. Right, right.
ChipJohnson. Lennie Bates.
118
00:08:20,466 --> 00:08:22,559
Words. Pictures.
How you doin'?
119
00:08:22,546 --> 00:08:25,640
Won't you come in,
please? Thank you.
120
00:08:25,586 --> 00:08:28,248
Are you in a hurry
to start taking pictures? Oh, no.
121
00:08:28,210 --> 00:08:31,702
No need to get down
to business so soon. Good. Then I'll show you to your room.
122
00:08:31,635 --> 00:08:34,160
I suppose you're wondering
where the rest of the family is.
123
00:08:34,131 --> 00:08:38,329
Frankly, it hadn't
even entered my head. Well, they'll be back soon.
124
00:08:38,228 --> 00:08:41,823
"Be back soon."
What a doll!
125
00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:02,061
Maybe Grandpa got hungry.
Sometimes he comes here to grab a bite.
126
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:05,671
You wait here.
I'll see if he's in there.
127
00:09:27,545 --> 00:09:30,207
[All Screaming]
128
00:09:47,227 --> 00:09:50,219
Was Grandpa in there?
No. The place is empty.
129
00:09:50,171 --> 00:09:55,438
They must serve terrible food.
Well, let's keep looking.
130
00:10:06,909 --> 00:10:10,709
Grandpa goes down here
once in a while to enjoy the damp earth.
131
00:10:10,622 --> 00:10:13,284
I'll see if he's down there.
132
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:22,799
Grandpa?
Oh, Grandpa?
133
00:10:22,687 --> 00:10:25,053
[Man's Voice]
He ain't here.
134
00:10:25,023 --> 00:10:27,992
Okay.
Okay.
135
00:10:30,143 --> 00:10:33,601
S'all right?
S'all right.
136
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:41,720
Grandpa sometimes comes here
to feed the wolves.
137
00:10:52,545 --> 00:10:55,013
I tell you, Mr. Morgan.
This place is weird.
138
00:10:54,978 --> 00:10:57,811
I think we oughta
call it off. Research must have goofed this one.
139
00:10:57,762 --> 00:11:01,254
Nonsense.
Our computers are never wrong. They're infallible.
140
00:11:01,186 --> 00:11:03,586
Why, they picked
my last three wives for me.
141
00:11:03,554 --> 00:11:08,287
All right. So... So the place
is a little run-down.
142
00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:12,065
I mean, what do you...
what do you expect the average family to live in?
143
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,338
Huh? The Taj Mahal?
144
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,799
Hey. We met the niece.
She's a doll. Now, the rest of the family's gotta be great.
145
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:25,537
[Chip]
Well, you don't get candy apples off a lemon tree.
146
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:29,140
Look, you boys come back here
with a story, and check it all out.
147
00:11:29,061 --> 00:11:32,155
Make sure that family
satisfies our computer to a "T."
148
00:11:32,101 --> 00:11:36,060
I want pets, kids and grandfather.
One thing wrong, and it's off.
149
00:11:35,974 --> 00:11:38,340
And keep Lennie
off the you-know-what.
150
00:11:38,310 --> 00:11:43,111
Now, don't worry.
Lennie doesn't have a pint of the you-know-what on him.
151
00:11:42,983 --> 00:11:47,044
- Everything is under control.
- Mr. Bates, your room is ready.
152
00:11:48,423 --> 00:11:51,256
But really under control.
153
00:11:52,807 --> 00:11:55,332
[Engine Idling]
154
00:11:56,488 --> 00:11:59,480
Well, we've checked all
of Grandpa's hangouts.
155
00:11:59,432 --> 00:12:04,665
Where could he be?
I think we should've looked for him out at Rose Lawn Memorial Park.
156
00:12:04,521 --> 00:12:07,456
Lily, that's 10 miles
as the hearse drives.
157
00:12:07,401 --> 00:12:11,701
Well, he often goes out there
to pick up a flower for his buttonhole.
158
00:12:11,594 --> 00:12:16,554
All right.
We'll just have to start looking for him again early in the morning.
159
00:12:16,426 --> 00:12:20,795
It'll mean good-bye
to $5,000 if we can't produce him for those pictures.
160
00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:24,881
How could a man
who's 400 years old act so childish?
161
00:12:24,779 --> 00:12:27,646
Now, where could he be?
162
00:12:27,595 --> 00:12:29,529
[Squeaking]
[Grandpa] Well, Igor,
163
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:33,281
I promised I wouldn't
leave the house, and I didn't. [Cackles]
164
00:12:33,196 --> 00:12:37,530
We'll just hang around up here
until those men from the magazine have gone.
165
00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:42,256
[Squeaking]
Shh. Will you be quiet, Igor? They'll hear us.
166
00:12:42,124 --> 00:12:45,287
Just play dead.
167
00:12:47,437 --> 00:12:49,735
So, your folks
collect antiques, huh?
168
00:12:49,709 --> 00:12:53,577
Antiques fascinate me.
Tell me more.
169
00:12:53,486 --> 00:12:56,944
Maybe you'd like
to see some of them? Yes. Yes.
170
00:12:56,878 --> 00:13:00,075
Especially if they're stuck away
in some dark corner.
171
00:13:00,014 --> 00:13:03,472
Well, on second thought,
it's getting a little late.
172
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:08,401
I wonder what's keeping your partner.
Oh, he has to unpack all those cameras.
173
00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:15,407
[Creaking]
174
00:13:32,786 --> 00:13:36,313
It certainly
is a marvelous antique.
175
00:13:36,242 --> 00:13:39,507
What's it called?
"Early San Quentin"?
176
00:13:39,442 --> 00:13:43,742
[Lennie] Chip.!
Oh, there's the reprieve from the governor.
177
00:13:44,563 --> 00:13:47,589
Well, don't go away, doll.
I'll be right back.
178
00:13:47,539 --> 00:13:50,599
Well, I think I'll say good night now,
but I'll see you in the morning.
179
00:13:50,547 --> 00:13:52,606
Okay.
180
00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:56,549
[Low Chuckle]
Good night.
181
00:14:02,453 --> 00:14:04,717
What do you want?
I was just beginning to soften her up.
182
00:14:04,693 --> 00:14:08,459
Chip, there's something
awfully wrong here. A man got onto this thing...
183
00:14:08,374 --> 00:14:12,743
and then turned
into a suit of armor. [Heavy Clank]
184
00:14:15,926 --> 00:14:18,986
I suppose the next thing
you're gonna tell me is you saw little men.
185
00:14:18,935 --> 00:14:22,803
Well, I was afraid
to mention it before, but when we first came in,
186
00:14:22,711 --> 00:14:27,614
I did see one run across the hall...
and then later, he ran up the stairs.
187
00:14:27,479 --> 00:14:30,312
My boy,
you need a good night's rest.
188
00:14:35,961 --> 00:14:39,829
It's discouraging, Herman.
Grandpa is just nowhere around.
189
00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:44,174
I know. How many places
are there in a town like this where a man can bury himself?
190
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:49,051
When I think of losing that $5,000,
it makes me so mad I could blow my top!
191
00:14:48,921 --> 00:14:52,755
Well, don't do that, dear.
It's always so messy.
192
00:14:56,923 --> 00:15:00,381
What are you doin'
with the binoculars?
193
00:15:00,315 --> 00:15:03,546
No, thank you. Now,
put that away, will you?
194
00:15:03,483 --> 00:15:06,748
No wonder you've been
seeing little men. Now, come on. Let's go to bed.
195
00:15:06,684 --> 00:15:11,053
We don't wanna look
like a couple of weirdos when we meet the rest of the family, hmm?
196
00:15:12,668 --> 00:15:16,104
Put it away.
[Pats Back]
197
00:16:06,754 --> 00:16:08,745
[Yawning]
198
00:16:14,818 --> 00:16:17,412
Chip. Chip.
Chip, wake up. Huh? Huh?
199
00:16:17,379 --> 00:16:20,280
What's the matter?
What's the matter? There's a monster in the hall.
200
00:16:20,227 --> 00:16:25,028
Lennie, ya big dope,
will you stay out of the binoculars? I saw it; I swear it!
201
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:30,099
He's about seven foot tall,
and his head is bolted to his neck, and he's wearing a nightshirt.
202
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:34,017
I saw it. Come on.
I swear. I swear. Come on. All right! All right!
203
00:16:33,924 --> 00:16:36,154
Let go.
204
00:16:43,525 --> 00:16:45,550
[Lennie]
Isn't it awful?
205
00:16:50,502 --> 00:16:53,665
It's frightening.
But it was there!
206
00:16:53,607 --> 00:16:56,599
I'm gonna take you
to a psychiatrist.
207
00:16:57,766 --> 00:17:01,725
Chip, I swear it.
I saw it. I swear I saw it.
208
00:17:01,639 --> 00:17:04,199
If you weren't dreaming,
what were you doing at the door in the first place?
209
00:17:04,168 --> 00:17:08,605
I was going to get a glass of water.
Well, the big, bad bogeyman's gone. Go get your water.
210
00:17:11,401 --> 00:17:14,734
Eddie, are you in bed?
211
00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:16,860
[Eddie]
Yes, but I can't stay awake.
212
00:17:16,841 --> 00:17:20,777
You'll be able to. Just lie there
with your eyes open, dear.
213
00:17:32,042 --> 00:17:34,033
[Muttering, Indistinct]
214
00:17:34,027 --> 00:17:37,190
I'm getting out of here.
215
00:17:37,130 --> 00:17:40,566
Now, look here.
What do you wanna do? Get us both fired?
216
00:17:40,491 --> 00:17:42,925
I'll tell ya what I'll do.
217
00:17:42,891 --> 00:17:47,351
Wait a minute. I'll tell you
what I'll do. We'll go through the whole house together.
218
00:17:47,244 --> 00:17:52,614
[Grumbling]
No. I'll prove to you that there's nothing here but
219
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:55,088
and her harmless,
average American family.
220
00:17:55,053 --> 00:17:59,490
Okay? I'll be with you
every minute.
221
00:18:00,974 --> 00:18:03,943
Okay.
Come on.
222
00:18:14,062 --> 00:18:19,056
Gee, you certainly go through
an awful lot, Lily, to make yourself beautiful just to go to bed.
223
00:18:18,927 --> 00:18:22,192
Anything for you, pussycat.
224
00:18:22,128 --> 00:18:25,962
[Door Opening, Closing]
Did you hear that?
225
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:28,534
Hmm?
It's downstairs.
226
00:18:28,496 --> 00:18:31,021
Oh. Good.
227
00:18:30,992 --> 00:18:36,362
- It's burglars. Herman,
you go down and have a look. - Do I have to?
228
00:18:36,209 --> 00:18:39,645
Of course!
Go down and scare them off!
229
00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:42,504
Me? Scare them off? How?
230
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,918
Herman.
231
00:18:46,322 --> 00:18:49,314
All right. Just a moment.
232
00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:59,052
Oh, will you hurry?
All right. Just let me see if it's loaded.
233
00:19:02,452 --> 00:19:05,546
Come on!
I'm going. I'm going.
234
00:19:22,293 --> 00:19:24,887
[Chip]
It's a little far out, but you don't see any monsters, do you?
235
00:19:24,854 --> 00:19:28,017
[Lennie]
So far. I'm sure I heard footsteps.
236
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:30,449
Let's look in there.
237
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,816
[Chip] You see,
there's nothing unusual in here, right? Hey, look.
238
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,751
Aww. Nice kitty.
239
00:19:46,744 --> 00:19:49,110
[Roars]
240
00:19:51,992 --> 00:19:54,893
Careful.
Looks like an electric chair.
241
00:19:54,841 --> 00:19:57,708
Let's get out of here.
It might be plugged in.
242
00:20:08,026 --> 00:20:10,893
Well, you gotta admit
we didn't find anything, right? [Footsteps Approaching]
243
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,928
Hmm.
I guess you're right.
244
00:20:13,915 --> 00:20:16,941
[Footsteps Grow Louder]
What's that?
245
00:20:21,628 --> 00:20:25,223
It's just our own footsteps,
ya dope.
246
00:20:25,148 --> 00:20:29,744
Our own footsteps, huh?
Then how come they're still walkin'?
247
00:20:31,293 --> 00:20:34,558
We'll look back together.
248
00:20:40,957 --> 00:20:44,017
Shh.
See, ya big dope? You got me doin' it now.
249
00:20:43,966 --> 00:20:46,696
It's just your imagination.
250
00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:49,248
- [Lily Screams]
- [Both Scream]
251
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:53,742
- Help! Grandpa!
- [Men Muttering, Screaming]
252
00:20:56,703 --> 00:20:58,762
It's me, Chip.
253
00:21:00,288 --> 00:21:03,951
- [Screams]
- Herman!
254
00:21:03,872 --> 00:21:09,242
- No! Not Grandpa!
The burglars! - [Herman Muttering]
255
00:21:12,385 --> 00:21:14,751
[Gasps]
256
00:21:14,721 --> 00:21:17,451
It's me!
257
00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:19,673
Ohh. Ohh.
258
00:21:19,650 --> 00:21:22,244
[Both Screaming]
259
00:21:25,186 --> 00:21:28,349
Aunt Lily, Uncle Herman,
what happened?
260
00:21:28,291 --> 00:21:31,727
There were burglars in the house, dear.
We just chased them off. [Car Zooming Away]
261
00:21:31,651 --> 00:21:36,247
Burglars?
Those were the two men from Event Magazine.
262
00:21:37,155 --> 00:21:41,489
Oh, bats!
There goes our $5,000, Herman.
263
00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:46,181
Well, I guess
there's only one thing to do.
264
00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:52,193
Oh, darn. I forgot.
[Laughing]
265
00:21:55,078 --> 00:21:59,572
- [Lennie On Phone]
But, boss, they are monsters. - Yeah, yeah. I saw them. It was horrible.
266
00:21:59,462 --> 00:22:02,226
Look. You boys have been
at that binocular case too much.
267
00:22:02,182 --> 00:22:05,379
Now, you get back there
and get that picture, or you're both fired!
268
00:22:07,751 --> 00:22:10,242
Well, you heard the man.
Back we go.
269
00:22:12,007 --> 00:22:16,501
[Lennie]
Four lenses cracked before I got it. I finally used the strongest one we had,
270
00:22:16,391 --> 00:22:18,723
the one for elephant stampedes.
271
00:22:18,695 --> 00:22:21,562
It's magnificent.
Hmm? What?
272
00:22:21,512 --> 00:22:24,743
Look, we have shown
the average American family celebrating New Year's,
273
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,140
Christmas, Mother's Day,
the Fourth ofJuly and Susan B. Anthony's birthday,
274
00:22:29,033 --> 00:22:33,993
but this is the first time we have
ever shown the average American family celebrating Halloween.
275
00:22:33,865 --> 00:22:37,596
Boys, you are brilliant.
Send a check to the Munsters...
276
00:22:37,514 --> 00:22:40,244
and pick up a $1,000 bonus
from the cashier.
277
00:22:40,202 --> 00:22:43,569
And congratulations.
[Chortles]
278
00:22:43,498 --> 00:22:47,434
[Lily]
Isn't it a beautiful picture, Herman?
279
00:22:47,338 --> 00:22:50,569
Mm. Yeah, but...
280
00:22:50,507 --> 00:22:53,533
but look what
it says here:
281
00:22:53,483 --> 00:22:56,509
"America's Average Family
Celebrates Halloween."
282
00:22:56,460 --> 00:22:59,827
Halloween?
What are they talking about? This is the way we look every day of the year.
283
00:22:59,756 --> 00:23:04,557
Yeah, on Halloween,
we put on masks and try to frighten people.
284
00:23:04,428 --> 00:23:07,591
Wait a minute. It's a mistake.
They switched headlines.
285
00:23:07,533 --> 00:23:13,028
Here's the Halloween picture:
"The Pierpont van Schuylers in their latest family portrait."
286
00:23:12,877 --> 00:23:15,937
Why, that's the weirdest bunch
of trick-or-treaters I ever saw.
287
00:23:15,886 --> 00:23:18,946
How could a magazine like that
make such a mistake?
288
00:23:18,894 --> 00:23:21,886
Say, Herman,
you think maybe we could sue them?
289
00:23:21,838 --> 00:23:27,333
Oh... Oh, my goodness, no.
I think we should just be good sports and laugh it off.
290
00:23:27,183 --> 00:23:29,549
- Laugh it off?
- Why, sure, Lily.
291
00:23:29,519 --> 00:23:33,080
We're not just
the plain old Munsters anymore, you know.
292
00:23:33,008 --> 00:23:36,466
We're the average American family,
293
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:40,666
and I think we owe it to our country
to keep our sense of humor.
294
00:23:40,716 --> 00:23:45,266
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