All language subtitles for First.Love.2021.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

This is from a 42-year-old mother
living in Nerima Ward, Tokyo.

It's been two months since my middle schooler
daughter started to become a hikikomori.

She rarely comes out of her room these days.

We just listen to her voice
through the door once a day.

I called out to her the other day
when she was in the bathroom.

As a result, we got into a quarrel.

I just want my daughter to eat
and go to school normally.

I just want us to be a normal family,
so could you give me some advice? Thank you.

- That was the message.
- Okay.

So... I would like to ask a licensed psychologist,

Makabe Yuki-sensei, for her opinion.

Hello.

I understand that through counseling,

you deal with hikikomori children and their parents

on a daily basis.

In fact, you have published a book
on this particular subject.

"Empathy and the Dark Side of the Heart Behind a Trauma"

That's right.

- This is a wonderful book.
- Thank you.

Let's now get into the topic.
What are some of the things

that concern you the most about
working in clinical practice?

The root cause of hikikomori

is the relationship between parents and children,

but it is sometimes very difficult
for the parents to understand this.

"The problem lies with the children, not me."

"I'm trying so hard to raise them. So why?"

The first news, a follow-up report

on the murder of a famous painter
and lecturer at Kanto University of Arts.

The daughter Kanna,

who was arrested and
charged with the crime,

committed the crime right after she took
announcer test for a commercial television station,

an interview with the police revealed so.

On the day of the crime,

she is believed to have had an interview for an announcer
test at a private TV station in Minato Ward, Tokyo,

and then headed to Kanto University of Arts

where she killed her father, Naoto,
by calling him into the restroom

and stabbed him in the chest with a kitchen knife.

Defendant Kanna responded honestly

to the police interrogation
and admitted to the crime itself,

but on the other hand, she said,

"Figure my motives out yourself."

It will be interesting to see

if her motive for the crime is
revealed in the course of the trial.

I'm home.

Hi.

Is this perhaps your special pot-au-feu?

Yup. It'll be ready soon.

By the way.

- It's about my next piece.
- Oh, you'll write a new one, right?

Yeah, I'm thinking of covering
Hijiriyama Kanna.

I just watched it on TV.
About that case?

She is completely treated like a psychopath.

We don't even know yet what happened.

But she called her own father and stabbed
him with a kitchen knife, didn't she?

You know, there might some sort of
reason that triggered her to do that.

She might be just confused and
can't articulate her feelings properly.

Oh, I'm starving.

Can I eat now?

Not yet.

I am so glad Hijiriyama Kanna
agreed to the interview.

She seems to be a reader of your books.

Oh, really?

That's good to hear.

Society has a simplistic view of things,

so I am hoping to change that,
even if only a little.

The lawyer in charge is this person.

- Anno?
- Anno Kasho-sensei.

He is a good-looking and highly capable lawyer.

Even though it's court-appointed, but high-profile
cases get the best defense counsel.

Is something the matter?

Do you perhaps know each other?

Well... sort of.

[ Takahashi - Anno Law Firm ]

I'll talk to them and see what I can do.

If we can reach a settlement,

we'll have another meeting later.

All right.

Thank you for your continued support.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Please follow me.

Sensei, she is here.

Okay.

Long time no see, sister-in-law.

Please have a seat.

I come for Hijiriyama Kanna's case.

That girl is peculiar.

I can't read her mind.
She is unpredictable.

You'll get hurt if you mess with her.

Would you still do it?

I'm honestly surprised.

I knew about your activities, but I never thought
you'd want to get involved in a case like this.

Kanna-san agreed to be interviewed.

I think there are things she wants someone
to understand that she can't say in court.

That's what I am trying to ask her.

There's no helping it then.

- I'll tell Gamon-san...
- Pardon me.

Please have some.

I told my brother about it.

- You did?
- Good luck, he said.

You know,

he is a guy who doesn't
doubt people's goodwill.

It's upsetting to be with him.

Okay, I'll take it.

Good.

Here we go.

Okay.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Hi.
- I'm home.

How was it?

You met Kasho, didn't you?

I heard he's working on that case too.

Yeah, it seems so.

He's a surprisingly objective and capable guy,

so I think you'll be able to rely
on him when you work together.

Could this be Nami-chan from Tanabe family?

Yup.

I'm so grateful, they've been
patronizing since my father's era.

Their baby has grown this big.

Say.

Don't you want to take your own picture again?

Why do you ask?

I just thought... are you okay with this.

It's like I am the only one
going out and doing what I want.

Don't say that. You should
work as hard as you want.

Thanks.

Come in.

Nice to meet you.
I am Makabe Yuki.

Thank you for accepting this interview.

You might feel nervous, but you don't
have to say anything you don't want to.

If you feel sick, you can interrupt
immediately, rest assured.

I'm sure you had a tough time
during the interrogation.

Figure my motives out yourself.

What?

That's what they said on TV, right?

But I didn't mean to sound so conceited.

I don't even know what my motives are,
so I am hoping they can help me find it.

I see.

I am a liar, you know.

If it's something that is not
in my favor, my head gets fuzzy.

I'll lose consciousness and
won't know what's going on.

I just want you to know that I am on your side.

The lawyer, Anno-sensei as well.

Oh... Anno-sensei.

A strange guy. He is handsome but twisted,

like he's confident that
all women will like him.

You both are close, aren't you?

Well, we are relative.

- He is my husband's...
- I know.

He said, "She is my brother's wife."

but called you by first name right after,

you must be really close.

But why do they have different
last names as siblings?

Good morning.

[ Hijiriyama Kanna ]

Sensei,

I am sorry for my conceited attitude

when you came all the way
to see me the other day.

But after meeting you,

I've come to learn more about myself.

To feel no remorse
even after what happened,

I think there is something wrong with me.

Sensei.

Please make me a person
with a proper sense of guilt.

Hijiriyama Kanna.

T

O

F

L

I

V

E

R

S

Translation: rid (@waterhyacinth_)

I started interviewing Kanna.

Apparently, she has complex PTSD
and dissociation, so it's difficult.

Special thanks: MagicStar

If there's anything she's told me
that might help her in the trial,

I'll tell you with her consent.

We need to work in team.

Okay.

Let's forget about our personal situation for now.

Our personal situation, like what?

I'll get this straight.

In her case, the problem is her mother.

She is refusing to be a witness
for the defense side.

I bet she is going to be a witness
for the prosecution side.

The prosecution side?

So it's going to be a confrontation
between mother and daughter in court?

To side on blaming her own daugther,

I can't help but wonder if there's
more to it than meets the eye.

My senior in college.

I didn't like him at all from the beginning,

but he pushed me to date him.

He said "I'll die without you,"
so it was hard for me to leave him.

How long were you dating?

Two and a half years.

Two and a half years with
someone you don't like at all?

I previously dated a senior who did DV to me,

and I talked to Kagawa-kun about it.

At first he empathized with me.

But the way things were going,

I kind of felt like he wanted
to sleep with me.

Sleep with you?

He said, "Can I?" and forced me to do it.

I actually didn't want to.

You didn't want to,
but it happened anyway?

Oh, I guess I shouldn't have
followed him to his apartment.

Because I made him want to.

Besides, after seeing each other
a lot, men will think that way.

Kanna-san.

Have you ever had a relationship
with a man you really loved?

Yuji-kun.

Yuji-kun?

When I was in elementary school,
a really long time ago.

Can you tell me about him?

He was a convenience store clerk

who helped me treat my leg injury.

His palms were big and gentle.

He was the first person I fell in love with.

Kanna-san?

Give me a break.

She's become so emotionally
unstable, I can't even see her.

She is fragile. You have to
be more considerate.

If she's upset, that means there is
a key to deciphering her mind.

She doesn't want to see it.

She's upset because she had
to face the darkness inside her.

She has to get through it.
Otherwise she can't move on.

Well, I suppose you have your own ways.

What exactly was the situation
that caused her to panic?

I just asked her if she's ever
been truly in love with anyone.

She said it happened once,
a long time ago.

And then...

I'd like to track that man down
and talk to him if possible.

I just agreed to the interview
without thinking about it.

But it turned out like this.

So you're saying that everything
in the article is not true?

Well...

But I still felt like I was being
pushed around a lot by her.

The reason I broke up with Kanna
was because she cheated on me.

Is that so?

I really liked her, and she is younger
than me, so I underestimated her.

But I couldn't forgive her
for cheating on me.

I initiated to break up,

but she started crying.

Moreover, that girl often
cut her arms and stuff.

I couldn't make up my mind to leave.

Are you saying that Kanna
has a habit of self-harm?

She has a lot of very noticeable
scars on her wrist.

Haven't you noticed?

Sorry but...

May I ask one question?

Sure.

Kanna was violated by her ex-boyfriend,

and while confiding it, she
became close to you, right?

That's right.

Then... at that time

you forced her

to have intercourse with you, is that true?

No, wait a minute.

There's no way I'd do that. I swear.

I remember that time she came
to my apartment on her own.

And when it came to that,
she just smiled.

Seriously.

She's unbelievable.

Sensei.

Why are you taking his word for it?

Are you not on my side?

I didn't smile at that time.

Are all men like that?

He called me every day and
admired me on how pretty I was.

And then we got physical contact.

But then one day, he got bored
and he contacted me less often.

But when it comes to sex, he is the only
one who doesn't want to use birth control.

Even so...

I was still putting up with him.

- In the end, he left me first.
- You were putting up with him?

There is no need to put up with
someone you don't like, right?

Then who's gonna help me?

Approaching me with warmth but
in the end he's only after my body.

Are you like that too, Sensei?

Me?

That watch is different
from the last one.

Must be from a woman.

Please don't show off.

Like it were a trophy.

Do you seriously think
you're going to help me?

Of course.

Then show me how serious you are.

Get me out of here.

Hey! Help me!

Please forgive me
if this is a rude question.

Frankly speaking, what was the relationship
between Kanna and her father?

It was normal,
a normal parent-child relationship.

When she decided to become an announcer,

did he greatly oppose her?

Yeah.

"Don't smear my name by
acting like a celebrity," he said.

I agreed with him on that one.

My husband is well-known in his own right.

Indeed.

He is wonderful.
Hijiriyama Naoto-san is.

He has won awards and
been successful overseas.

Yeah.

Recently, his paintings
are finally being recognized.

Still, it's been tough to get this far.

He used to hold painting classes
at home, using Kanna as a model.

Using Kanna as a model?
When was that?

From fourth grade of elementary to
first grade of middle school, I think.

At first, she said, "I don't mind
as long as you make it pretty."

She was willing to.

Eventually, she'd get cocky and didn't
want to do it unless she get paid.

She started skipping school to play,
so my husband made her quit.

If you don't mind me asking...

Have you ever seen the scars on Kanna's arm?

Scars?

I've seen it. That must be the chicken.

- Chicken?
- Yes.

That must be scars from the
chicken attack at her school.

What about it?

Did she tell you about it?
When was that?

I think it was around the time she
graduated from elementary school.

- When I got back from Hawaii...
- You went to Hawaii?

- With your family?
- No.

I was the only one invited
to a friend's wedding.

And when I came home,
she had a scar on her arm.

Did she have any more scars after that?

I don't know.
What does it matter?

What I am trying to ask is...

whether or not she was under
some kind of mental duress.

The point is that you must
have been aware of this.

It's true that my husband was strict,

and that my daughter
had her share of troubles,

but in the end, that's something
she have to deal with.

As a young girl, Kanna was powerless
to do anything on her own.

She should be protected by her parents...

But she has never once listened to me!

If she hated being with her father so much,

she should have gone
to a boarding school.

She is just too lenient!

Did Kanna tell you that she
didn't like being with her father?

They might not get along.

But my husband was doing
the best he could as a parent.

He gave her comfortable
environment and everything,

and even sent her to college.

And look how she's returning the favor...

I don't even want to
remember that day anymore.

I was preparing

a nice hand-rolled sushi that she likes.

But then she came home covered in blood.

Even though her father just died,

she didn't apologize or
even show a single tear.

I don't know anymore what
she's thinking. I can't help her.

I want her to realize her sin

and spend the rest of
her life atoning for it.

If you think you're looking
at the object properly,

look at it ten times more
from this moment on!

Most of us have a lax standard
of what is enough to see!

Kanna, what are you doing!

No!

No...

Somebody...

Your balance is off.
Don't break your pose.

I am sorry for the last time.

I made you upset by asking
something so insensitive.

Huh? What?
Insensitive?

So what is it about?

About someone you used to love.

The convenience store clerk, Yuji-kun.

Huh, who is he?
Did I say anything about that?

I'm sorry.

Then let me ask you one more question.

The scars on your arm,

how long have these been there?

Your mother said it was
because of chicken attack.

That's true. I was attacked by the chicken.

Thank you very much.

- Excuse me.
- Welcome.

I am looking for a part-timer

named Yuji who used
to work here 10 years ago.

- Yuji?
- Yes.

Um... You don't know his last name?

Hello?

The painting class Kanna's mother
was talking about the other day.

I got curious so I looked into it.

And then I found a former
student of that class.

But he is in Toyama.

I'll go. Give me the clue.

How enthusiastic.

You wanna go to Toyama just for that.

Good luck with the interview.
I'll send you the data.

I'll go now.

Have a safe trip. Are you
going there with your editor?

No, I'm going alone.

I see. Be sure to check map.

Okay!

Anything you want me to buy there?

Let's see...

Blackened squid and Daiginjo sake.

Okay.

I'm off.

Can I sit next to you?

His name is Nanba Sumito.

He seems to be a promising
young ceramic artist.

If you buy one, it may be worth it later.

I make oriental overglaze enameling
pottery with birds and animals

in the motif of Indian chintz colors.

My goal is to create one-of-a-kind
platter that can accentuate

the everyday eating habits
of the people I meet.

I see. You originally wanted
to be a painter, didn't you?

Yes.

But I've never been good
at painting on a big canvas.

I'd rather work on something
smaller like a plate or a teacup.

You were studying under Professor Hijiriyama in
Oil Painting Department of Kanto University of Arts.

Did you go to his painting class frequently?

I went once a week
for about a year.

Using Kanna as the model?

Yes.

I'm honestly surprised
about what happened to her.

His daughter is adorable.

His wife also came
when the class ended

and offered us some homemade sweets.

I thought they were a nice family.

If you have any of your
paintings from that time,

could you show it to us?

Oh... I wonder if there's any left.

- Please wait a moment.
- Sure.

I'm embarrassed to say it's a
study from my school days.

It's not something
I can show to anyone.

Oh, this is it.

Sorry but...

These people...

were naked, right?

No underwear?

In those days, nude models
usually didn't cover it up.

But...

But the composition...

was taken into consideration to
keep the model out of her view.

It was very informative to be able
to compare every detail of the body.

How many students were there?

I'd say about seven or eight.

Were there women in the mix?

No, it was all men.

He didn't take women as his students.

There were several male students
staring at her with great focus.

There were naked men right next to her.

That's a lot for an adolescent girl to take.

It's creepy.

The father, who is normally in a position
to protect his daughter from such things,

is watching her in that situation.

You must know how she feels.

What?

She's a lot like you in some ways.

Isn't that why you decided to cover her?

Stop calling me by first name.

I still don't feel comfortable calling
you "sister-in-law" even now.

Does my brother know?

About your father.

I didn't tell him.

Why?

I have a feeling he'd only
be confused if I told him.

I'm afraid he would say creepy.

It's not you who's creepy.

But your father.

Woah.
It's pouring hard.

Your father should at least
give you a ride

on your coming-of-age
day, but he had to work.

It can't be helped.

Oh yeah.

You're an adult now, so
I thought I'd tell you this.

About what?

About your father.

Your father used to go to the Philippines
for work when you were a kid, didn't he?

He was buying girls there.

"Buying"?

Prostitution. And a very
young one at that.

Around 13 or 14-year-old girls.

Why?

Why are we talking about this now?

I'm sure you're going
to date a guy too.

I just thought you should
know that men are like that.

Oh yeah. Don't tell your father
that you heard this from me.

It's already been resolved between us.

Your father has also repented.

I couldn't understand my father.

But more than that...

I couldn't understand my mother
for allowing that to happen.

Woah... it's pouring hard.

You can't look at me like that.

- Papa, you're late!
- I'm sorry.

You know, I got a compliment on my
calligraphy today, look at it later.

Here.

I give you my umbrella,
you've been standing here long.

No need.

Where are you going?

Nowhere.

Nowhere?

If you have nowhere to go,
wanna go somewhere else?

- I'm a third-year literature student.
- We're even then.

I thought you're a first-year
because you look so nervous.

Are you also really a third-year student?
I don't remember seeing you often.

I hate college, that's why.

- Where do you live?
- Otsuka.

Your hometown?

Kichijoji.

You can commute from there, though.

Why bother living alone?

What about you?

I'm Kasho.

Kasho...

- Where do you live?
- Yutenji.

- Alone?
- Nope, with my family.

It's just my uncle and aunt,
and also my older brother.

He's actually my cousin, though.

- Your parents?
- They died.

Well... my mother actually is misssing.

She's probably still alive somewhere,
with her fifth husband.

She is the kind of woman who leaves
house when she's obsessed over a guy.

When I was in elementary school,
I was left alone starving to death,

then my aunt picked me up.
She is my mother's sister.

Disgusted?

Not really.

What?

I've been thinking about
it for a while now...

Your hair is too long.
It's got sauce on it.

You might want to cut it short a bit.

It costs a lot of money to cut hair.

- Hey, aunty.
- Huh?

- Do you have scissors?
- I do.

Here you go.

No, wait. Isn't this the meat cutter?

- Just come with me.
- No, hey!

Are you really going to cut it?

Can I really cut it?

Go ahead.

Cut it.

Look.

It's sea.

Thanks.

Hey...

Watch out!

You're too fast.

It's leaving.

Forget it.

It's okay.

There must be someplace we can stay.

You can't just look at someone's
phone without permission.

Sorry.

That's the picture my brother took.

- Your brother?
- Yeah.

He is a photographer.
Look, isn't it great?

I've got a few of my favorites in there.

This photo won the Inamori
Nobuo Photo Award.

They say it's rare to get one in your 20s.

Cool.

My brother's name is Gamon.
It's written in Kanji for "I hear."

He's having an exhibition in fall.
Wanna go visit with me?

Sure.

When we were kids, we used to
play Othello and Shogi together.

But my brother was so terrible at it,
and yet he asked me out every time.

He's a nice guy, but also idiot,
I knocked him down in the end.

Instead of getting mad, he was happy.

"You're so smart, you should be
a doctor or lawyer," he said.

You're totally different.

What is?

Your expression when
you talk about your brother.

You must really love him.

What about your uncle and aunt?

They are nice, but...

We still have distance.
I'm just a stranger after all.

I'll make us some coffee.

It hurts!

Stop it.

Sorry.

Oh, shit. I don't know.

I've had more than enough experience
to do this kind of thing.

Does that mean...

You're just a sex addict?

Because your mother didn't love you.

Hello.

Hello.

If you'd like, you can write
down your name and address.

So I could let you know when
I hold another exhibitions.

Sure.

- You live in Otsuka?
- Yes.

It's near Rikei University.

I am a student there.

I see. Same as my brother.

He is studying law there.

I see.

Today is the last day, isn't it?

Yeah.

I'm closing in five minutes.

Your photos...

are wonderful.

I'll take my leave.

Hey...

I'm home.

- Hi, dear.
- Wow, good aroma.

- You make Japanese dish today.
- Yup. I rely on your souvenir.

Here, I bought it.

- Daiginjo sake.
- Oh, this is my win.

And...

This one.

Blackened squid.

- How was it, in Toyama?
- Yeah, I got something there.

I had a good talk with the potter.

Also, I'm starting to get a feel
for Kanna's upbringing.

I see.

- Hey.
- What?

Wanna eat out tomorrow?

- Tomorrow?
- Yeah.

You've been so busy lately, it's nice
to take a break once in a while.

Thanks, you're right.

It's nice to eat out sometimes.

Who is it?

- Hello?
- Excuse me...

I'm Ichinomiya, the manager of Monmart.

In Kugahara?

I got ahold of the clerk
you were looking for, Yuji.

- His last name is Koizumi.
- J-just a moment.

I will take notes.

You are Koizumi Yuji, I believe?

Thank you for taking the time
to respond to my urgent request.

But it's really just an interview, right?

I am not going to get
sued or anything, right?

Did something happen between you
and Kanna that you could be sued for?

No, no.

But nowadays, everything
is written on the net.

To be frank, I don't want this to be
something that happened 10 years ago.

You were close to Kanna, weren't you?

When she was 12.

Kanna said you were the
person she fell in love with.

That was a long time ago.

She was still a minor.

I am interviewing Kanna.

The interview itself is important,

but crucially, as a licensed psychologist,

it is necessary for me to know
what is going on inside her.

I will protect your privacy.

I promise not to write anything
you don't want me to write.

However...

For the sake of her future life,

I need you to be as honest as possible
about what happened in the past.

Sorry. It's gonna sting a bit.

Can you walk home alone?

Can you?

Is your home close?

You need to get home soon.

There's only one set of futon.

I'm sorry.

He grew a huge beard...

I can't sleep, man.

Hey...

Can I touch you?

This is gonna be bad, I guess.

You can.

What?

Touch me.

I am used to it.

"Used to it," she said?

Yes.

But I didn't do anything in the end.

This is the truth.

If such a pretty girl relies on me,

my manliness still got curious after all.

For a while after that, my house
was like a refuge for her.

She really didn't like being made

to be a model in her
father's painting class.

And then... one day.

That old man stepped into my room.

We're done for.

Kanna, what are you doing!

I've been feeling guilty all this time.

If I get sued or something,
it'll be my fault.

Get home now!

So you and Kanna after that...

I haven't seen her since.

Actually...

She was once waiting for me
in front of my house.

But I turned her away.

No!

I don't wanna go home!

No!

Didn't you ever think of helping Kanna?

Helping her?

To listen to her or see
how her father behaves.

Did you ever suspect the abuse?

Didn't you feel like

saving her from those things?

I was also frightened myself.

To be honest, after her father found
out, I was in a funk for months.

I was afraid if the police
would turn me in.

Even if what you've done is a crime against
a minor, the statute of limitations has run out.

More importantly, if she has
any desire to make amends,

would you be willing to appear in
court as a witness for the defense?

If we could only find out what
happened at the painting class,

it can lessen her guilt.

It's impossible.

I have a wife and child now.

So you have a child?

Yes.

A son?

Daughter.

- Something like a handout.
- Yeah, I have that.

Oh, just a moment.

Take your time.

I met Koizumi Yuji.

Yuji...

Ah... the store clerk.

You're getting ahead.

- So... how was it?
- I'll tell you later.

I hope to hear a good story.

Do you think he'll testify?

That one was turned down.

I told you not to act on your own.

Do you...

seriously want to help Kanna?

I am serious on this.

The only way to do that
is to get her to open up.

Otherwise, we'll never move a step forward.

I am going to open up to her
and show her my wound.

Later on.

[ Gamon-san: I made a reservation at 7 pm ]

First of all, I owe you an apology.

I met with Koizumi Yuji today.

With Yuji-kun...?

Why'd you do that?

Why not ask me first?

I didn't ask you to meet him, did I?

I wanted to talk to someone who knew
what you were going through as a child.

And I was hoping he could be a witness.

And then?

He said no.

Because he has a life now.

He is married and has a child.

I can't believe someone like him
would get married and have kid.

It's ridiculous.

You knew it, right?

About what he had done to you?

You talked like he was your
first love, but he actually wasn't.

It was too hard not to think so,
so you did it anyway.

One thing he said bothered me.

When he tried to touch you,

you smiled and said, "I am used to it."

That was a lie, wasn't it?

Why would you lie?

Kagawa said the same thing
on the magazine interview.

That you smiled on the first time.

Did you perhaps smile while
you actually didn't want to?

Pretending that the discomfort
and fear inside you aren't there.

Trying to live up to their expectations.

Shut it!

What's so interesting about probing
people's emotions on your own?

You don't even know
what I am going through!

That is because...

you are hiding it.

Kanna-san, I, too...

You know...

When I was in fifth grade,

I found bunch of girls' pictures

on the dashboard of my father's car.

Wait up here.

I didn't know what was
that about at the time.

I didn't know, but I subconsciously
tried to forget,

to keep the memory
in the back of my mind.

I...

recalled that memory as an adult.

When I found out that my father had
been prostituting girls on a business trip.

But actually...

I've somehow always felt it.

That my father was different from others.

Kanna-san.

You didn't know

how to understand what
Yuji had done to you either.

Maybe you've suffered because...

you couldn't confide in someone?

Did you tell your mother about it?

It was my fault.

Why?

I can't always do it right
and I'm always causing trouble.

Please don't blame my mother.
She has no choice.

Because she indebted to him.

Indebted of what?

I...

am not my father's child.

I was born

when my mother was
living with another man.

But that man told her not to give birth.

And then my father said...

"Your child must be cute, what a waste."

That's why...

Hijiriyama Naoto...

isn't your biological father, is he?

He is, in the family register.

It wasn't your fault.

You've only been led to
believe so by the adults,

so why lie about it?

Lying to protect the adults,
not to protect yourself.

You may have killed
your father. But long before,

a lot of adults killed your heart!

Your father, your mother.

Yuji-kun.

You've been hurt way too far.

So even if you did stab your father...

I didn't stab him.

I...

didn't stab my father.

Hello.

Sorry. I really have to
go somewhere else today.

Can we eat out at a later time?

Okay.

Yuki.

What?

Where are you going?

Sorry.

What are you talking about!

She didn't kill him?

There's no way the judge
will believe that now.

If she suddenly denied her intent to kill, which
she'd already admitted to doing, that would look bad.

It would give impression that she has no
remorse and her sentence would be extended.

To claim that she didn't mean
to kill him is impossible.

Even if it's the truth?

Is that the truth, though?

Why don't you believe in Kanna?

It's the first time she opened up to
me and told me how she really feels.

If we can't admit this,

we'll be no better than
the adults who betrayed her!

Let's just calm down for once.

You say you're going to help her,

but in effect, all we can do is try to get

maximum amount of extenuating
circumstances and shorten her sentence!

It's only about all or nothing!

But!

You're self-indulgent!

Aren't you just trying to use
her for your own benefit?

What does that mean?

You are...

projecting your own trauma onto that girl.

You're trying to save yourself by getting her
to confess something she doesn't want to.

What are you trying to imply?

You didn't show your wounds
to my brother, did you?

My brother is a good guy, gentle
and open to everything.

But he doesn't know the real you.

The real you that I know!

You okay?

That was really close.

I...

have something to tell you about.

About... my father.

Your father?

When I was kid,

My father...

Every time he goes on a
business trip overseas, he...

...bought girls there.

I...

When I found out about
it later, I was shocked.

But for a long time, I was aware
there was something wrong with him.

I could feel it on my skin.

At least turn on the lights.

I...

was afraid of my father's eyes.

I still think about it all over again.

This story...

creeps you out, doesn't it?

That's not true.

I've always thought you're
keeping something to yourself.

I don't know what it is.

But you might have been hurt

by someone when you were little.

Why did you think so?

When we first met...

You saw a picture of
a little girl and her father.

You were in tears.

That was...

because your photos are wonderful.

I knew there was more to it.

Then why...

I wish you could tell me
when you wanted to.

There is one more thing...

I have to tell you.

About Kasho and I.

When we were in college...

I was aware of it.

When he was in the third-year,

he confided in me.

"I met a beautiful and eccentric girl
at college, so I hit on her," he said.

It was his first time ever,

so he seemed happy
that it worked out.

When the three of us met
for the first time,

it hit me.

I see.

Which faculty?

Literature.

Psychological discipline.

I see.

I'm law student.

I realized that the girl Kasho
was talking about was you.

What the...

How come.

I totally sucked at hiding something, didn't I?

I once asked him about it.

I asked him if he loved you.

And then?

What did he said?

"I cherished her."

"But without romantic feeling."

"Even if I tried to tell
her how special she was,

I'm sure Yuki wouldn't accept it anymore."

He told me this today.

"Yuki is very unstable right now,

so talk to her, and be there."

The time you spent with him is part of you.

That is...

an important part of what
makes you who you are today.

I did not kill my father.

That was an accident.

I had no intention
of killing my father.

Counsel's opinion, please.

We will strive for it.

The defendant had no
intention to kill the victim.

Therefore, the crime is not murder
and the defendant is not guilty.

We just went over the
prosecution's evidence...

regarding the interview report
from the anatomist, Dr. Kasuga.

The defense has also
asked him about it.

There is a difference in the
angle of the stabbed knife

between a case where the assailant
stabs the victim from below

and a case where the victim falls
down and the wound is accidental,

and in this case,

there is a possibility that
the wound is accidental.

I am going to show you a picture
of the defendant's arm

that will prove she had
a habit of self-harm.

These were made over
a period of ten years,

from the time she was
twelve until recently.

From the age of 10 to 13,

the defendant modeled for
her father's painting class.

This is a picture drawn by one of the
students who participated in the event.

Is it true that Naoto-san opposed

the defendant's employment?

It is true.

Since Kanna is fragile,

he thought that she wasn't
suited for public appearances.

Did you know about the painting class
as stated by the defense?

Yes, I know.

But my husband always
told me not to stay home

during the painting class because I might
interfere, so I was always away from home.

I didn't know that the male models
weren't wearing any clothes.

Are you sure that the defendant came
home when you were preparing dinner

on the day of the incident?

Yes, I am sure.

How was the defendant?

What happened?

The kitchen knife got stuck on father.

Let me confirm it.

Did the defendant really say

"The kitchen knife got stuck on father."

and not, "I stabbed father"?

Yes. That's right.

Then what made you think
the defendant stabbed him?

Because...

It's impossible for a kitchen knife to stab itself.

Kanna had a habit of lying

and talking about things that
didn't happen as if they did.

I thought she said it that way
for her own convenience.

And what did you say?

"What do you mean it stuck?" I asked her.

Are you saying he tried to kill himself?

Then Kanna said...

"The knife I was holding stabbed him."

"It's not gonna stick on
its own, is it?" I asked her.

What did the defendant say then?

"Forget it."

She ran out of the house.

Did you know about
the scars on Kanna's arm?

Yes.

Because...

the scars were visible.

But she said it was just injury.

Did it ever occur to you that something
serious might happen to her

as the scars slowly increased?？

I didn't count every scars on her!

And since the scars were
pretty visible from the start,

I couldn't tell if they were
increasing or decreasing.

Now, let me ask you about
the painting class.

I heard that the students at
the painting class were all men.

Yes, that's right.

So, did any of the male
students play pranks on her

or make her uncomfortable?

There was no such person.

The students were all polite,
quiet, and diligently studying art.

My husband kept a very close eye on her.

There is no way such a thing would happen.

You said earlier...

that you were away from home during
the painting class and weren't there,

and that you didn't know the male
models were naked, is that right?

So...

how do you know what
kind of students were there

and how they were behaving?

Kanna spent her childhood surrounded by many men -

she was so stressed by it that
she repeatedly asked to quit.

Didn't you, as her mother,

hear the reasons from herself?

I don't know.

Never heard anything.

Witness, please state your name.

Koizumi Yuji.

First of all.

Please tell us what kind of relationship
you and the defendant have.

I...

around the time Kanna graduated
from elementary school,

in late March ten years ago,

was working part-time at a
convenience store in Ota Ward.

I found Kanna sitting in front
of the store with an injured leg.

I patched up her injury.

What did you do afterwards?

I told Kanna to go home.

But...

When I was heading home
after work at around 9 pm,

she was still nearby.

I asked her what happened.

"I really don't wanna go home," she said.

I had no choice

but to take her to my apartment.

What did you hear from
the defendant at that time?

She didn't want to go home

because if she did, she'd be
forced to work as a model.

What exactly did she complain about?

There...

her father would make her sit alongside
naked men and another men stare at her.

Also, they sometimes held a launch party
or drinking party for the painting class.

There, too, she was touched
by drunken college students

and was asked out by them.

She complained that it was painful.

When she told her parents about it,
they didn't take her seriously and said,

"It was your fault for making them feel like it."

You patched up the defendant's injury,

and took her to your
apartment, is that right?

How often did you see
each other after that?

About once a week.

For how long?

Around three months long.

Are you saying that
you met with the defendant,

who was just out of elementary school,
once a week at your apartment?

Well...

A 12-year-old girl and a young college student meet
in a locked room frequently behind her parents' back.

There is something unusual about that.

What were you doing there?

We played games and watched TV.

- What else?
- Your Honor.

I object. This question is
irrelevant to the case at hand.

Prosecutor, is there anything else
you would like to ask the witness?

Very well.

You haven't seen the defendant in over ten years.

What made you want to testify?

Guilty... conscience.

Guilty conscience?

Yes.

When Kanna confided to me,

I was aware she had problems at home.

I...

cut off contact with her
for fear of getting in trouble.

I have a 3-year-old daughter.

If I were to meet her now, as I did then,

I am sure I could have
handled things differently.

Doing so now...

is already too late.

I thought so.

On the day of the incident,

why did you buy the knife?

Because I failed to get a job,

so I had to punish myself

and make sure my father saw to that.

What did you do after
you bought the knife?

I headed to the art college
where my father worked.

I got scared and slashed my arm a few times
in the bathroom of the station I got off at.

After that, I headed straight to the college.

I didn't want to see anyone else, so
I went to the women's restroom again.

I called my father's cell phone.

I'm in the restroom at your college.

Women's restroom on the first floor of the Oil
Painting Department Building 2, Faculty of Fine Arts.

What kind of exchange
did you have from there?

"I thought you have been healed long ago."

"It's your mother's fault that you went crazy."

"I'll call her and have her
take you to the hospital."

I tried to stop him when he
pulled out his smartphone.

No!

What did you do when
you tried to stop him?

I grabbed my father's hand
with my left hand,

and my right hand holding the knife.

Which way was the tip of the blade facing?

Bottom.

How did he react?

He was about to fall back.

So in response, I became
leaning against my father.

My father was trying to
get his balance back.

That's when...

he slipped on the wet floor.

When he was about to contact your
mother about the wound on your arm,

why were you so distraught?

Because she would say it's creepy.

What do you mean by creepy?

Back then...

When my mother came back
from her trip, she saw me.

Creepy.

"What's with that creepy scars?"

So I quickly lied

and said I was attacked by a chicken.

I then realized

I must never let my mother know about this.

Right after the incident,

you admitted that you
killed your father, didn't you?

Why did you change your claim now?

Because my mother told me...

...that a knife doesn't just stick itself in.

I...

have been told a liar
by my mother all my life.

Even then,

I lost confidence that
I was telling the truth.

When your father, who was
badly injured, collapsed,

why did you flee the scene
without calling an ambulance?

My father's eyes...

scared me.

Did you think he was dead?

- Or...
- I don't know.

I just didn't know what to do.

Let me ask you one more question.

This is the psychology behind your visit
to your father after you bought the knife.

Why did you want him to see your scars?

I came to ask for his mercy.

Your father was against you

becoming an announcer to begin with,

so even if you fail, there is
no need to ask for his mercy.

After all, didn't you go to see your father

out of a sense of resentment,

as if it was his fault that
you failed the job interview?

Perhaps...

it was the same with
what happened back then.

Back then?

The painting class.

The interview for the announcer test

was just like the painting class.

The nakedness of men I didn't
know was right next to me.

Drunken men

touching and hugging me.

I was afraid of what they might
do to me at any moment.

My parents who are watching
by my side didn't help me.

That's why I slashed my arm.

But my father said,

"Don't appear in public until
the wound is healed."

I was then finally freed
from the painting class.

It only took a drop of blood...

to save me from the pain.

So I just did the same thing that day.

Hijiriyama-san.

It has been decided...

...that the defendant...

...shall be sentenced to
eight years imprisonment.

The fact that the defendant purchased
a kitchen knife, went to the college,

called the victim to a secluded place,

and then fled the scene
without reporting the crime

suggests that the defendant prepared for

and committed the crime with
an intention of killing the victim.

Therefore, we can conclude
that the defendant

stabbed the victim in the chest with a kitchen
knife with intention to kill, and caused his death.

The defendant's criminal responsibility is
grave, and shall be sentenced to prison.

On the other hand, the environment in which
the defendant was raised during her childhood

cannot be said appropriate for her sound
mental and physical development.

Despite the fact that the victim and
several other people were aware of this.

Came to see?

Yeah.

It's great, as expected from my brother.

I know right.

Oh yeah.

Here.

Kanna gave it to me.

Anno-sensei. Makabe-sensei.

Thank you very much for your help.

There were a lot of people in the
courtroom who took me at my word.

And that's what saved my life.

Suffering, grief, rejection, and my own will

were all unspoken for a long time.

But for the first time, I felt
it was okay to speak up.

I am going to take my punishment in stride.

I left my father behind.

My father will no longer stare at me.

Now I'll be free from his glare.

For a brief moment, that's
exactly what I thought.

I heard that your book's publication

was postponed due to
a lack of interest in the case.

I would then hope to write about it

in my own words one day.

There are still many things

I don't understand about
my mind and emotions.

I want to face it

No. 314!

and give it a figure someday.

Hijiriyama Kanna.

I'm the same with her.

There are so many things
I don't understand about myself.

I don't know why things didn't work out with you,

but at that time

I think I was more interested
in protecting yourself

than understanding and
healing your wounds.

We're even then.

At that moment...

I felt...

my mother's presence in you.

Strange, isn't it?

I see.

You know.

I'm just glad he's my brother.

Thanks to him, we are a family now.

The first photo ever I took in my life.

Was a commemorative photo.

It was taken on New Year's Day, the
year after Kasho came to our house.

Kasho was smiling broadly.

He wasn't smiling at first.

Really?

He doesn't easily smile.

So I made him to.

How?

Okay, let's get in.

Wait. One more.

Hurry up!

Everybody, smile!

Innocent until proven guilty.

These words are a general
rule in all criminal trials.

This is not a rule

to favor the defendant.

But a rule to protect our own liberty

so that we, the citizens, are not subjected

to the tragedy of being wrongly judged.

Everything...

the prosecutor just said in his
argument is just speculation.

That he was involved in
the crime of his own volition.

Unless proven otherwise,

the defendant should be acquitted.

He also has a wife and
a daughter who just turned seven

waiting for him at home.

The defendant is not guilty.

So that he can get back to
his normal life immediately,

I hope that justice will be done.

Did you and your mother continue
to exchange diary after that?

No. I didn't know what to write.

It could be anything.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on
the book you read that day,

your painful experience, anything.

What's important is what
happens in everyday life.

It's all about

putting into words what you're feeling.

By doing so,

you'll learn to deal
with your own feelings.

I'm sure it's the same with your mother.

Start by trying to put your feelings into words,

even if it's just one line a day!

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