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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:05,749 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 2 00:00:05,751 --> 00:00:08,051 _ 3 00:00:24,261 --> 00:00:26,669 34, 35... 4 00:00:26,671 --> 00:00:28,204 37? 5 00:00:28,206 --> 00:00:29,406 No! 6 00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:32,207 Oh, I have to go all the way around again. 7 00:00:39,756 --> 00:00:41,618 I had the locker dream again. 8 00:00:41,620 --> 00:00:44,888 Oh, honey, that's four nights in a row. 9 00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:46,756 Stupid recurring dreams. 10 00:00:46,758 --> 00:00:48,825 Why can't brains come up with something new? 11 00:00:48,827 --> 00:00:51,828 That's why they're losing viewers to Netflix. 12 00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:54,220 Maybe I should talk to a therapist. 13 00:00:54,223 --> 00:00:57,267 Sweetie, our insurance won't pay for any more sessions. 14 00:00:57,269 --> 00:00:59,803 Your father used them all up on grief counseling 15 00:00:59,805 --> 00:01:02,138 after the Halloween candy ran out. 16 00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:04,808 I've come to accept that we were lucky to have it 17 00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:06,608 while we did. 18 00:01:06,611 --> 00:01:08,278 But I know a cheap place where you can see 19 00:01:08,281 --> 00:01:10,848 the therapists of tomorrow today. 20 00:01:10,851 --> 00:01:13,389 Behold, Springfield Community College, 21 00:01:13,392 --> 00:01:16,823 where the students practice... on you! 22 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:20,423 I only paid a student dentist $12 for this brand-new crown. 23 00:01:20,425 --> 00:01:21,832 See? 24 00:01:21,835 --> 00:01:23,717 I don't think it's supposed to come out. 25 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,028 That's why I paid a student paralegal to sue him. 26 00:01:26,031 --> 00:01:27,230 I lost! 27 00:01:32,184 --> 00:01:34,337 - Oh, yarr. - Mm. 28 00:01:34,339 --> 00:01:37,240 Yarr! Yarr. 29 00:01:38,243 --> 00:01:40,243 TV must be a circle! 30 00:01:40,245 --> 00:01:41,978 Ow! Ow, ow, ow! 31 00:01:43,315 --> 00:01:45,715 Give him the full flea dip and deluxe under-worming. 32 00:01:45,717 --> 00:01:47,050 I'm not a dog. 33 00:01:47,052 --> 00:01:48,585 And I've been worm-free for two weeks! 34 00:01:48,587 --> 00:01:50,420 You better muzzle him. He's a biter. 35 00:01:51,936 --> 00:01:55,170 My name is Annette, and I'm a therapist-in-training. 36 00:01:55,173 --> 00:01:56,925 I'm also a mother-to-be, 37 00:01:56,928 --> 00:01:58,862 so I know there's nothing more beautiful 38 00:01:58,864 --> 00:02:00,626 than a child's feelings. 39 00:02:00,629 --> 00:02:03,099 You sound so caring and professional. 40 00:02:03,101 --> 00:02:05,568 When do I give you the seven dollars? 41 00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:07,017 There's a shoebox by the door. 42 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:10,273 So what does my locker dream mean? 43 00:02:10,275 --> 00:02:11,811 Am I stressed about school? 44 00:02:11,814 --> 00:02:13,676 I mean, schools are full of lockers. 45 00:02:13,678 --> 00:02:16,079 Hey, who's the almost-therapist here? 46 00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:21,384 Huh. 47 00:02:21,386 --> 00:02:22,519 Hmm. 48 00:02:22,521 --> 00:02:23,520 Oh. 49 00:02:23,522 --> 00:02:24,654 Ooh. 50 00:02:24,656 --> 00:02:25,955 Huh. 51 00:02:25,957 --> 00:02:27,290 Mm. 52 00:02:28,660 --> 00:02:32,756 You know, I think you might benefit from art therapy. 53 00:02:32,759 --> 00:02:34,197 Ooh! 54 00:02:34,199 --> 00:02:36,533 Draw in these empty panels 55 00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:38,206 to tell the story of a typical day 56 00:02:38,209 --> 00:02:40,637 in the life of you, Sophia Barnum. 57 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:41,905 Huh? 58 00:02:41,907 --> 00:02:44,440 Once again, learn the patient's name. 59 00:02:44,442 --> 00:02:45,642 Sorry, Professor. 60 00:02:45,644 --> 00:02:47,177 Lisa Simpson. 61 00:02:47,179 --> 00:02:49,045 Excellent. Continue. 62 00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:51,514 Your light's still on. 63 00:02:52,688 --> 00:02:54,083 Art therapy. 64 00:02:54,085 --> 00:02:57,430 Okay, draw a typical day. 65 00:03:02,260 --> 00:03:03,860 Ugh! Horrible! 66 00:03:03,862 --> 00:03:06,362 It looks like it was drawn by an eight-year-old! 67 00:03:11,736 --> 00:03:13,903 Ugh! 68 00:03:13,905 --> 00:03:16,639 Oh, boy, I can't wait to take you to the park. 69 00:03:16,641 --> 00:03:18,975 The other owners will be so jealous. 70 00:03:18,977 --> 00:03:20,577 You're not my owner. 71 00:03:20,579 --> 00:03:22,378 Uh, I kinda am. 72 00:03:31,856 --> 00:03:33,189 Mmm. 73 00:03:35,193 --> 00:03:36,859 Mm. 74 00:03:36,861 --> 00:03:40,096 I'm hearing a lot of feelings in here. 75 00:03:40,098 --> 00:03:43,099 You're hearing them because I am not drawing them! 76 00:03:43,101 --> 00:03:45,702 Aw, sweetie, drawing is tricky. 77 00:03:45,704 --> 00:03:48,905 But you just need to start with something simple, like people. 78 00:03:48,907 --> 00:03:50,441 Those are people. 79 00:03:50,444 --> 00:03:51,610 Ooh. 80 00:03:52,844 --> 00:03:55,511 It's easy, honey. 81 00:03:57,515 --> 00:04:00,116 Add some eyelashes here, 82 00:04:00,118 --> 00:04:02,585 some crosshatching to show shadow, 83 00:04:02,587 --> 00:04:06,122 vary the line width here to accent the outline, 84 00:04:06,124 --> 00:04:08,267 and voilĂ ! 85 00:04:08,270 --> 00:04:09,826 That's great! 86 00:04:09,828 --> 00:04:11,094 Now in the next panel, 87 00:04:11,096 --> 00:04:12,829 I want her to be looking out a window, 88 00:04:12,831 --> 00:04:14,564 wondering if she'll ever get out 89 00:04:14,566 --> 00:04:17,233 from under the weight of her own expectations. 90 00:04:17,235 --> 00:04:20,709 Well, I could make the eyebrows come down in a "V." 91 00:04:20,712 --> 00:04:22,672 That says it all. 92 00:04:23,978 --> 00:04:27,342 Hey, Mom, what if I told you the things I was feeling 93 00:04:27,345 --> 00:04:29,012 and you drew them? 94 00:04:29,014 --> 00:04:30,747 Okay. But I'm warning you, 95 00:04:30,749 --> 00:04:32,882 I'm not good at drawing turtle feet. 96 00:04:32,884 --> 00:04:34,817 So if there are any turtles in this, 97 00:04:34,819 --> 00:04:36,419 they're gonna be wearing sneakers. 98 00:04:36,421 --> 00:04:37,553 Deal. 99 00:04:37,555 --> 00:04:40,523 It starts with the story of a regular day... 100 00:04:46,957 --> 00:04:48,181 _ 101 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,392 _ 102 00:05:00,442 --> 00:05:03,053 _ 103 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,419 _ 104 00:05:15,903 --> 00:05:17,341 _ 105 00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,445 _ 106 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:26,436 Gosh, I forgot how hard school can be for a sensitive kid. 107 00:05:26,438 --> 00:05:27,837 It's miserable. 108 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:30,773 But you captured my feelings perfectly! 109 00:05:32,153 --> 00:05:34,843 Annette, wait till you see my art therapy! 110 00:05:34,846 --> 00:05:36,446 You're gonna love it, too. 111 00:05:36,448 --> 00:05:38,581 Please try to pretend I'm not here. 112 00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:39,916 Okay, Stephen. 113 00:05:41,419 --> 00:05:43,609 Hey, where did it go? 114 00:05:43,612 --> 00:05:46,022 Best marriage counseling ever. 115 00:05:46,024 --> 00:05:48,091 But we still need to discuss 116 00:05:48,093 --> 00:05:50,159 your addiction to unboxing videos. 117 00:05:50,161 --> 00:05:54,297 Do not make me choose between you and unboxing. 118 00:05:58,918 --> 00:06:00,217 Manga! 119 00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:02,559 _ 120 00:06:02,598 --> 00:06:04,583 _ 121 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:06,364 _ 122 00:06:06,678 --> 00:06:10,305 It's been a week, and I still can't find my therapy comic. 123 00:06:10,308 --> 00:06:11,781 I'd be just mortified 124 00:06:11,783 --> 00:06:14,617 if even one person saw my private thoughts... 125 00:06:14,619 --> 00:06:16,227 Oh! 126 00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:19,555 Mom, can I have permission to swear? 127 00:06:19,557 --> 00:06:21,958 Okay, as long as it's a tier one. 128 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:22,959 Damn it! 129 00:06:22,961 --> 00:06:24,293 That didn't work. 130 00:06:24,295 --> 00:06:25,695 Can I go to tier two? 131 00:06:25,697 --> 00:06:28,115 - I'm afraid not. - Damn it! 132 00:06:30,532 --> 00:06:32,210 And with that seal cut, 133 00:06:32,212 --> 00:06:35,680 we have completed the unboxing of the outer shipping plastic. 134 00:06:35,682 --> 00:06:38,029 Indeed we have. 135 00:06:39,251 --> 00:06:43,138 You published my private art therapy as a comic book? 136 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,156 Um, actually, it's a graphic novel. 137 00:06:45,159 --> 00:06:46,658 The distinctions are threefold... 138 00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:47,993 - Shut up! - Okay then. 139 00:06:47,995 --> 00:06:50,061 Um, in my defense, my wife did it. 140 00:06:50,063 --> 00:06:52,411 Kumiko, how could you? 141 00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:53,965 I have acted shamefully. 142 00:06:53,967 --> 00:06:56,468 I must commit furry cosplay. 143 00:06:59,306 --> 00:07:00,439 Ooh! 144 00:07:00,441 --> 00:07:02,441 There's nothing sexy about shame! 145 00:07:02,443 --> 00:07:05,135 Except in my native Japan, where it's our whole thing. 146 00:07:05,138 --> 00:07:08,547 Mr. and Mrs. Book Guy, you had no right to do this! 147 00:07:08,549 --> 00:07:10,682 These are my daughter's feelings. 148 00:07:10,684 --> 00:07:12,125 And my doodles. 149 00:07:12,128 --> 00:07:13,652 I shall burn them on a pyre 150 00:07:13,654 --> 00:07:15,654 and disperse them to the seven winds. 151 00:07:15,656 --> 00:07:17,222 That's all I ask. 152 00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:20,425 Hmm? 153 00:07:20,427 --> 00:07:22,093 One Sad Girl, please. 154 00:07:22,095 --> 00:07:23,428 Sad Girl's the best! 155 00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:25,505 It's tragically delicious! 156 00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:27,766 Wait! 157 00:07:27,768 --> 00:07:29,768 Maybe this isn't so bad. 158 00:07:31,773 --> 00:07:33,105 My Lulus! 159 00:07:41,949 --> 00:07:44,082 Ooh, there she is. 160 00:07:44,084 --> 00:07:45,217 Ask for her autograph. 161 00:07:45,219 --> 00:07:46,485 You ask her, man. 162 00:07:46,487 --> 00:07:47,786 I'm freakin' out. 163 00:07:47,788 --> 00:07:49,654 Wow, Lisa, our cartoon book 164 00:07:49,656 --> 00:07:51,456 seems to have really captured the... 165 00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:53,658 What's that word I'm looking for? 166 00:07:53,660 --> 00:07:55,393 Zeitgeist! 167 00:07:55,395 --> 00:07:56,862 Oh, hi, Mel! 168 00:07:56,864 --> 00:07:58,530 Say hi to Barbara for me. 169 00:07:58,532 --> 00:08:02,267 I'm not your messenger boy! 170 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:05,369 What's so great about graphic novels? 171 00:08:05,372 --> 00:08:07,239 They're just comic books with no superheroes 172 00:08:07,241 --> 00:08:09,774 and no cool sound effects like "Thwam!", 173 00:08:09,776 --> 00:08:11,243 "Ack-ack-ack-ack!", 174 00:08:11,245 --> 00:08:13,712 - and "Fwwwip!" - Snag! 175 00:08:13,714 --> 00:08:15,514 Lisa, Kumiko called. 176 00:08:15,516 --> 00:08:18,789 She sold all her copies and wants us to make a sequel! 177 00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:22,249 That's like a prequel but in the future. 178 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:23,451 What do you say, sweetie? 179 00:08:23,454 --> 00:08:25,457 Do you have more sad in you? 180 00:08:25,459 --> 00:08:27,747 I've got scads of sad! 181 00:08:50,317 --> 00:08:53,585 Okay, now draw me overhearing the other girls 182 00:08:53,587 --> 00:08:55,587 talking about how they're not gonna invite me 183 00:08:55,589 --> 00:08:56,922 to a birthday party. 184 00:08:56,924 --> 00:08:57,956 Like this? 185 00:08:57,958 --> 00:08:59,303 Fantastic! 186 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:00,905 Now let's take a little break. 187 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:02,608 And you know what that means. 188 00:09:02,611 --> 00:09:04,010 Hot Sharpie! 189 00:09:04,974 --> 00:09:06,061 Hot Sharpie! 190 00:09:06,064 --> 00:09:07,131 - Hot Sharpie! - Hot Sharpie! 191 00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,466 - Hot Sharpie! - Hot Sharpie! 192 00:09:09,602 --> 00:09:11,836 - You almost got me! - How come we never bond like that? 193 00:09:11,838 --> 00:09:13,838 I don't know, you never make the first move. 194 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,240 Okay. 195 00:09:15,242 --> 00:09:17,776 There is something I've always wanted to do with you. 196 00:09:22,916 --> 00:09:25,116 Hey, those guys stole our fishing poles! 197 00:09:25,118 --> 00:09:26,985 And my skipping stones! 198 00:09:47,107 --> 00:09:48,573 Welcome to "Chicks with Pix," 199 00:09:48,575 --> 00:09:51,392 a panel discussion with women writers and artists. 200 00:09:51,395 --> 00:09:53,144 I'm your moderator, Roz Chast. 201 00:09:53,146 --> 00:09:54,813 You may know my New Yorker cartoons 202 00:09:54,815 --> 00:09:56,548 that are both funny ha-ha 203 00:09:56,550 --> 00:09:58,550 and funny aha. 204 00:10:00,778 --> 00:10:01,820 Silence! 205 00:10:02,650 --> 00:10:05,190 Joining me today are Alison Bechdel; 206 00:10:05,192 --> 00:10:06,736 Marjane Satrapi; 207 00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:09,527 and the creators of Sad Girl, Lisa Simpson... 208 00:10:11,031 --> 00:10:13,522 We love you, Lisa! 209 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,866 And Marge Simpson. 210 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:19,280 We're wasting time! 211 00:10:19,283 --> 00:10:21,374 Marjane, as the author of Persepolis 212 00:10:21,377 --> 00:10:23,444 and someone who grew up in a repressive regime, 213 00:10:23,447 --> 00:10:25,977 what advice would you offer to young women? 214 00:10:25,979 --> 00:10:27,979 Always remember nothing is more valuable 215 00:10:27,981 --> 00:10:29,648 than your own unique voice. 216 00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:32,517 Also, when they promise you a tote bag for doing a panel, 217 00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:35,320 make sure it's not just a reusable grocery bag. 218 00:10:35,322 --> 00:10:37,114 Look at this. 219 00:10:37,117 --> 00:10:39,057 Alison Bechdel, recently, 220 00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:41,926 a lot of people have been talking about the Bechdel Test. 221 00:10:41,928 --> 00:10:44,529 Exactly what kind of drinking game is that? 222 00:10:44,531 --> 00:10:46,665 Actually, it's just an observation I made 223 00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:48,800 about how movies and TV rarely show 224 00:10:48,802 --> 00:10:51,336 two women talking about something other than a man. 225 00:10:51,338 --> 00:10:52,804 That's so interesting. 226 00:10:52,806 --> 00:10:54,939 I'll have to tell my husband about that. 227 00:10:58,311 --> 00:11:00,897 Bechdel Test: Fail! 228 00:11:02,682 --> 00:11:04,544 Bechdel, fail! 229 00:11:04,547 --> 00:11:06,317 Fail! 230 00:11:06,319 --> 00:11:08,319 Fail. 231 00:11:08,321 --> 00:11:10,155 Okay. We have five minutes 232 00:11:10,157 --> 00:11:11,756 before we have to clear the room 233 00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,614 for the "White Men in Comics" panel. 234 00:11:13,617 --> 00:11:15,431 I have a question for Lisa. 235 00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:18,249 I have a question for Lisa with a follow-up for Lisa. 236 00:11:18,252 --> 00:11:20,564 I want to talk about myself for a few minutes, 237 00:11:20,567 --> 00:11:23,155 then at the end, pretend it was all a question for Lisa. 238 00:11:23,158 --> 00:11:25,702 Does anyone have any questions for my mom? 239 00:11:25,705 --> 00:11:27,772 She does draw every panel. 240 00:11:27,775 --> 00:11:29,908 Yeah, I have a question for Marge. 241 00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:31,876 How lucky are you to work with Lisa? 242 00:11:31,878 --> 00:11:33,445 Lisa! 243 00:11:33,447 --> 00:11:35,747 Lisa! Lisa! 244 00:11:35,749 --> 00:11:37,295 Lisa win! 245 00:11:37,298 --> 00:11:39,310 Marge fail. 246 00:11:43,506 --> 00:11:45,406 Honey, I was thinking. 247 00:11:45,409 --> 00:11:48,309 What if we did a chapter from the mom's point of view? 248 00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:50,871 I took a stab at writing it up. Give it a read. 249 00:11:50,874 --> 00:11:52,140 In front of you? 250 00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:54,765 Um, okay. 251 00:11:54,768 --> 00:11:56,367 Mmm. 252 00:11:59,973 --> 00:12:01,639 What are you laughing at? 253 00:12:01,641 --> 00:12:03,341 You left out a word here, 254 00:12:03,343 --> 00:12:07,212 so it just says, "I lonely." 255 00:12:07,214 --> 00:12:09,214 So should I start drawing it? 256 00:12:09,217 --> 00:12:12,135 Well, there's a lot of great stuff here. 257 00:12:12,138 --> 00:12:15,106 Really? Because that's what I was going for. 258 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:18,623 But I'm not sure this is a Sad Girl thing. 259 00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:20,258 Maybe it's a separate book 260 00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:22,393 and I could write the forward. 261 00:12:22,395 --> 00:12:23,995 Oh, I get it. 262 00:12:23,997 --> 00:12:26,409 This isn't a real collaboration at all. 263 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,533 You agree with those girl fanboys. 264 00:12:28,535 --> 00:12:30,702 You think it's all about you. 265 00:12:30,704 --> 00:12:32,403 Hey, you can't blame me 266 00:12:32,405 --> 00:12:34,906 if people want to focus on my contribution. 267 00:12:34,908 --> 00:12:36,908 I can and I do. 268 00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:39,640 I hate to say it, Mom, 269 00:12:39,643 --> 00:12:41,846 but maybe we should take a break. 270 00:12:41,849 --> 00:12:44,202 Good idea. Hot Sharpie. 271 00:12:46,052 --> 00:12:48,826 No. I mean, maybe we should take 272 00:12:48,829 --> 00:12:50,889 a real break. 273 00:12:50,891 --> 00:12:52,724 - You mean...? - That's right. 274 00:12:52,726 --> 00:12:55,521 I want to see other illustrators. 275 00:12:56,997 --> 00:12:58,530 - I don't even know how you could - Stupid Lisa. 276 00:12:58,532 --> 00:12:59,998 - Say that. It's my vision. - She's acting like a real B. 277 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,567 Ladies, there's someone here to see you. 278 00:13:04,538 --> 00:13:06,538 My name is Guthrie Frenel, 279 00:13:06,540 --> 00:13:09,741 visionary theatrical director and impish genius. 280 00:13:09,743 --> 00:13:13,111 And I want to make Sad Girl into a smash Broadway show. 281 00:13:14,429 --> 00:13:16,402 I think he came in through the window. 282 00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:19,885 Oh, tubby, you're a delight. 283 00:13:20,937 --> 00:13:23,845 You want to make Sad Girl into a stage musical? 284 00:13:23,848 --> 00:13:27,270 If I may borrow a phrase from my father, woo-hoo! 285 00:13:27,272 --> 00:13:28,954 This is all very exciting, 286 00:13:28,957 --> 00:13:30,506 but before we go any further... 287 00:13:30,508 --> 00:13:33,109 And I ask this just for clarification... 288 00:13:33,111 --> 00:13:35,278 - What's your deal, weirdo? - Dad. 289 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,743 Guthrie Frenel is a visionary director and an impish genius. 290 00:13:38,746 --> 00:13:40,683 He did a version of Waiting for Godot 291 00:13:40,685 --> 00:13:44,020 - where Godot appears in the first scene. - What? 292 00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:47,223 And that was nothing compared to my vision for Sad Girl. 293 00:13:47,225 --> 00:13:49,459 I want to do something new and amazing, 294 00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:51,661 like my all-dog version of Cats. 295 00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:53,463 But I need something from you. 296 00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,798 - Anything. - I need your passion. 297 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,166 I need your joy. 298 00:13:57,168 --> 00:14:00,403 Are we all together for this three-person toboggan ride 299 00:14:00,405 --> 00:14:02,505 down Mount Collabor-manjaro? 300 00:14:02,507 --> 00:14:06,376 Well, Lisa and I did just have a little spat. 301 00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:10,013 Yeah, but conflict is part of the creative process, right? 302 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,681 Not in my experience! 303 00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:13,750 So are you in? 304 00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,161 - Yes. - Absolutely. 305 00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,689 Oh, this is gonna take hours. 306 00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:24,827 Bart, there's one thing I know about Broadway shows, 307 00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:26,696 they always make money. 308 00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:29,210 So I'm already looking forward to quitting my job. 309 00:14:29,213 --> 00:14:30,500 Can I quit school? 310 00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:33,303 I'd be a pretty lousy dad if I said no. 311 00:14:34,871 --> 00:14:36,971 It's our duty as artists 312 00:14:36,974 --> 00:14:40,043 to rip up the contract between audience and performers. 313 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,078 Cell phones will be turned on. 314 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,414 Candy will be unwrapped during the show. 315 00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:46,416 We'll hire performance artists 316 00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:49,419 to make the line for the ladies room extra long. 317 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,723 Um, how closely are we gonna stick 318 00:14:53,725 --> 00:14:55,925 to the story from my graphic novel? 319 00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:57,403 Oh, yes, story. 320 00:14:57,406 --> 00:14:59,362 All the gimmicky stagecraft in the world 321 00:14:59,364 --> 00:15:01,097 ain't worth a tinker's damn 322 00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:03,933 without a compelling human story at the center. 323 00:15:03,935 --> 00:15:05,835 Your story, the unique expression 324 00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:07,737 - of your heart and soul... - Mm-hmm. 325 00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:09,639 Will be neatly summed up 326 00:15:09,641 --> 00:15:12,075 - in the narrator's first speech. - Huh? 327 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,643 Once that's out of the way, 328 00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,345 we can explore the dazzling 329 00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:17,780 visual buffet of Marge Simpson. 330 00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:19,182 Now feast. 331 00:15:20,585 --> 00:15:22,452 Pass the wonderment, please, 332 00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:24,710 but save room for the Tonys. 333 00:15:24,713 --> 00:15:26,422 Oh, my God. 334 00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:28,157 It's just how I drew it. 335 00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,893 It's your artistic vision writ large. 336 00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,995 Or should I say, writ Marge? 337 00:15:32,997 --> 00:15:34,364 You should. 338 00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:35,698 He really shouldn't. 339 00:15:39,704 --> 00:15:41,625 It's all in my style. 340 00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:46,976 Mom, he's ignoring my story 341 00:15:46,978 --> 00:15:49,270 and making this all about your drawings. 342 00:15:49,273 --> 00:15:51,547 I know. 343 00:15:51,549 --> 00:15:53,082 I'm sorry, Lisa. 344 00:15:53,084 --> 00:15:54,817 But I can't help it if he wants to focus 345 00:15:54,819 --> 00:15:56,219 on the visual part of... 346 00:15:56,221 --> 00:16:00,123 Oh, my God. It's Bart and Grampa. 347 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,058 But they aren't even in my book. 348 00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:04,394 And where am I? Where is Sad Girl? 349 00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:06,662 Sad Girl will be represented 350 00:16:06,664 --> 00:16:08,898 by a voiceless red light projected into 351 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:11,300 an empty seat in the balcony. Bold, no? 352 00:16:11,302 --> 00:16:13,970 But how will they know it's supposed to be me? 353 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,239 Storytelling. 354 00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:18,574 Ugh. 355 00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:21,811 That impish genius is really cheesing me off. 356 00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:24,747 All he's kept from Sad Girl is Mom's drawings, 357 00:16:24,749 --> 00:16:28,418 when it's supposed to be about my writing and my feelings. 358 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,920 Oh, I'm so sick of children's feelings. 359 00:16:30,922 --> 00:16:32,604 "Feed me." "Burp me." 360 00:16:32,607 --> 00:16:34,151 "Don't sleep for six years." 361 00:16:34,154 --> 00:16:35,858 You're forgetting the boundary 362 00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,693 between patient and therapist. 363 00:16:37,695 --> 00:16:40,296 And you're forgetting that you did this to me! 364 00:16:42,108 --> 00:16:43,474 Let me tell you something, Lisa. 365 00:16:43,477 --> 00:16:45,210 When you give birth to something, 366 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,203 you have no control over what it turns into. 367 00:16:47,205 --> 00:16:50,273 All you can do is surrender to the nightmare. 368 00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:53,109 Sorry. I'm just so happy. 369 00:16:58,149 --> 00:17:00,783 Never do this. 370 00:17:00,785 --> 00:17:02,452 Here they are. 371 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:06,189 The official Sad Girl: The Theater Experience T-shirts. 372 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:10,860 $45 in the lobby, of which we keep $1.35. 373 00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:13,830 Oh, baby, we can use that money to buy a sailboat 374 00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,965 with a double-ended spinnaker pole. 375 00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:18,034 Oh, ho-ho. 376 00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:19,969 Looks good. I like it. 377 00:17:19,971 --> 00:17:21,370 I like everything. 378 00:17:21,372 --> 00:17:24,423 Really? You seemed a little cheesed off earlier. 379 00:17:24,426 --> 00:17:25,875 A mother notices. 380 00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:28,711 Mom, Sad Girl was like our baby. 381 00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:31,714 And you can't control what your kid turns into. 382 00:17:31,716 --> 00:17:33,683 If it becomes a successful show, 383 00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:35,485 that'll be good for our family. 384 00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:36,886 Now if you'll excuse me, 385 00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:38,788 I'm gonna go sit on a swing alone. 386 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,690 Oh, okay. 387 00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:42,458 Hello, Coast Guard? 388 00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:45,361 Get ready to search for my body in about a month. 389 00:17:45,363 --> 00:17:47,029 Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. 390 00:17:47,031 --> 00:17:48,498 Oh. 391 00:17:51,402 --> 00:17:54,370 - So you're okay with this? - Sure. 392 00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:56,782 It's an honor to have something based on your life. 393 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:59,052 Even if it's nothing like your life at all. 394 00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:23,032 What the hell does any of this mean? 395 00:18:23,034 --> 00:18:24,667 What? You don't get this? 396 00:18:24,669 --> 00:18:27,270 It's so stimulating and I love it. 397 00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:31,641 - What is that?! - D'oh! 398 00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:47,088 _ 399 00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:55,531 Uh, Guthrie, is it possible we strayed 400 00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:58,534 a skoosh too far from what Lisa's book is about? 401 00:18:58,536 --> 00:19:01,604 Marge, this isn't You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown. 402 00:19:01,606 --> 00:19:04,407 Or even my production of You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown, 403 00:19:04,409 --> 00:19:06,242 set in a doomed Soviet submarine. 404 00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:09,745 This is avant-garde theater, and it is electric. 405 00:19:11,816 --> 00:19:15,318 Okay, I guess. 406 00:19:23,828 --> 00:19:25,695 Oh, Lisa. 407 00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:28,497 I'm so sorry. Hmm. 408 00:19:30,401 --> 00:19:32,969 There, honey. Now you're back in our show. 409 00:19:35,273 --> 00:19:38,619 What the...? That's not one of my brain babies. 410 00:19:40,511 --> 00:19:42,078 Ah! Ow. 411 00:19:47,445 --> 00:19:48,517 Ah! 412 00:19:49,887 --> 00:19:53,189 Which one of us is me? 413 00:20:00,898 --> 00:20:03,122 Run for your cultural lives! 414 00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:06,693 I'm haunted my visions of Milhouse. 415 00:20:06,696 --> 00:20:08,304 Ah! 416 00:20:16,614 --> 00:20:19,248 And now to read the reviews. 417 00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,417 "Greatest..." I like where this is going. 418 00:20:21,419 --> 00:20:23,886 "disaster in theater history." 419 00:20:23,888 --> 00:20:27,023 Oh, those sons of Bs. 420 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:30,326 Honey, I'm sorry I let Guthrie make the play 421 00:20:30,328 --> 00:20:33,729 all about my drawings, and also terrible. 422 00:20:33,731 --> 00:20:37,299 And I'm sorry I wasn't more open to your creative input. 423 00:20:37,301 --> 00:20:39,635 I blame both of you for this disaster. 424 00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:40,703 More wine! 425 00:20:40,705 --> 00:20:42,071 I've got another project 426 00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:43,739 for us to collaborate on. 427 00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:45,741 Getting your dad in a cab. 428 00:20:45,743 --> 00:20:48,647 Hello, Coast Guard? I'm gonna live. 429 00:20:57,342 --> 00:20:59,342 _ 430 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,042 _ 431 00:21:05,386 --> 00:21:06,554 _ 432 00:21:10,393 --> 00:21:12,900 _ 433 00:21:19,614 --> 00:21:21,881 Well, I still think it's good. 434 00:21:23,709 --> 00:21:28,120 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 30154

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