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1
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,680
The building's custodian
is on vacation for the month,
2
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,047
and Dwight is too cheap
to hire a replacement.
3
00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:10,009
So instead,
we're living in filth.
4
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:15,041
But not for long, because I
have created the chore wheel.
5
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,971
Oh, yeah!
Can I spin first?
6
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,526
Well, it doesn't spin.
7
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,365
We'll just move the wheel
one notch each morning,
8
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,761
and you see what
chore you get that day.
9
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,048
A wheel is supposed to spin.
Yeah.
10
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,611
You know, like...
11
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,041
No, I'm familiar
with spinning.
12
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,770
It's just, that wouldn't
work with a chore wheel,
13
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,569
because people might
get the same chore.
14
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,963
Bah! Boring. All she
talks about is chores.
15
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,286
A wheel wants
to spin, Pam.
16
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,489
Spinning would be more fun.
17
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,281
Okay-
18
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,883
Okay! That's what
I'm talking about.
19
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,724
Big money, big money.
20
00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,841
Yeah!
21
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,880
"Mug duty"?
22
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,008
Yes! You clean all
the mugs in the sink.
23
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,041
This sucks.
24
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,291
Yeah, seriously. It's like
everything on there is work.
25
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,170
I don't think you guys understand
why we're doing this. It's...
26
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,528
Yeah, and I don't think
that you understand wheels.
27
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,324
I've been through several rounds
of development with the team,
28
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,846
and here's where we stand
with the chore wheel.
29
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,607
We've got prizes!
30
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,249
"Ten Bucks," "Candy Bar,"
"Manager For An Hour."
31
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,329
But there are
also penalties
32
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,604
like "No Internet,"
"Stanley Gets Your Lunch."
33
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,604
The one thing that is not on
the chore wheel is chores.
34
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,246
But they were right,
it's more fun this way.
35
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:47,287
Tiny Wheel! Tiny Wheel!
Tiny Wheel! Tiny Wheel!
36
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:49,801
The Tiny Wheel actually
does have chores.
37
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:51,924
It's so cute,
no one seems to mind.
38
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,441
"Toilets!"
39
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,006
Pam, we've got to go!
Cece, go back inside.
40
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,924
Grandma's got
breakfast, okay?
41
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,011
We are going to Roy's wedding.
42
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:31,767
Yep, Roy.
43
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,560
I think the only weird thing
about going to your wife's
44
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,961
ex-fiance's wedding
on a weekday at 8:00 a.m.
45
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,484
is that it's your wife's ex-fiancé.
Thanks, Mom!
46
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,684
A banana?
Yeah.
47
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,330
I'm afraid he's only
going to have hot dogs.
48
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,846
Come on. Not even Roy would
have hot dogs at his wedding.
49
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,241
I planned a wedding with him.
He wanted hot dogs.
50
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:53,961
It's so weird.
51
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,805
Oh, Pete. You got mail.
52
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,166
Really?
I got something?
53
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,886
Well, it's addressed to Customer
Service, so it's your mail.
54
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,883
Well, you know,
I'm also customer service.
55
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:04,961
Yeah, I'm alternating.
56
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,731
Another person
yelling at me.
57
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,529
Well, it could be
a nice letter.
58
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,489
I write nice letters to
companies all the time.
59
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,289
That's really nice.
60
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:18,771
Wow. Newsweek, huh? This
election thing is crazy, right?
61
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,521
It's opened.
62
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,687
Oh, yeah. I accidentally read it.
It's not a nice letter.
63
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,765
Get excited!
64
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,969
The special projects
fairy has arrived.
65
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,128
I know you
don't really exist.
66
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:41,241
Today, I launch my big charity
initiative, Operation Giveback.
67
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,321
Andy has shot down all of my
special projects thus far,
68
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:50,009
but this one is about charity, so I'd
like to see him piss on that one.
69
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,047
Darryl!
70
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,489
What's happening?
Congratulations, baby.
71
00:03:58,560 --> 00:03:59,641
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
72
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,684
Is this his house?
I think so.
73
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,121
Mimosa?
74
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,445
I'm okay.
Thank you.
75
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,083
Would you like me
to take your peel?
76
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:13,761
Yes. Thank you.
77
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,841
Okay-
78
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,605
Who was that?
79
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:27,927
Uh...
80
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,968
My ex-fiancée.
Ha-ha.
81
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,967
I started a new business
with my college friend,
82
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,491
but Pam doesn't know.
83
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,245
Um...
84
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,683
Actually I did tell Pam
and we decided, "No."
85
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,848
But then I decided,
"Yes," anyway,
86
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,890
so I'm thinking there's
another conversation coming,
87
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,162
and it's hard to know
when that will be.
88
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:53,127
With Operation Giveback, you pick the
charities Dunder Mifflin supports.
89
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,045
Oh, boy!
What's happening?
90
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,806
There's $4,000 to give away, so
who has filled out their forms?
91
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,401
Stanley?
92
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:03,244
American Diabetes
Association.
93
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,966
Um, you have diabetes,
Stanley.
94
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,328
I'm sorry. ls the assignment
to pick a selfish charity?
95
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,767
I... I would love to give...
96
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:13,001
Heifers International.
97
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,246
Listen to this. They give a poor
person, like, a goat or something?
98
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:18,960
It's a great prank.
99
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,250
I want to work with Jimmy
Carter and help build gnomes.
100
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,771
Dwight? What about you?
101
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,401
I will not be participating, as there
is no evidence that charity works.
102
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,161
Uh, correction, I give to
a foundation that teaches
103
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:34,086
homeless children nautical flag signaling.
It changes lives.
104
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:35,681
Thank you, Andy.
105
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:36,761
I'm not doing it for you.
106
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,411
I'm doing it for the preservation
of nautical flag signaling.
107
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,728
Dwight, you will
be participating.
108
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,486
No, thank you. Participation
is mandatory, Dwight.
109
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,483
But you can choose
whatever cause you like.
110
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,969
Fine! I choose the
Global Relief Foundation...
111
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,682
Great. Thank you... which
was recently discovered
112
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,603
to be a front
for the Taliban.
113
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,049
Oh, for goodness
sake, Dwight!
114
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,646
Yeah, the Taliban
in Af-a-ghanistan!
115
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,362
The Taliban is the worst.
116
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,326
Great heroin, though.
117
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,724
Dwight, I cannot have the Taliban on
the roster of Operation Giveback.
118
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,201
Well, then it looks like there
won't be any Operation Giveback.
119
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,643
The nanny state is over, ladies
and gentlemen! You're welcome.
120
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:22,961
There he is.
121
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,769
Is it almost time to
cut the pancake or what?
122
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:29,128
Oh, yeah, we appreciate everyone
coming out so early. It's...
123
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,005
Everyone's just
been so nice.
124
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,605
Thanks for inviting us, by the way.
That was...
125
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:33,920
Are you kidding?
That was a surprise.
126
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,129
Come on, if it wasn't for you,
I never would have met Lara.
127
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,407
I mean, seriously, I kind of
dodged a bullet on that one.
128
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,845
I'm just kidding.
You're welcome.
129
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:41,961
Thanks.
130
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:43,561
Oh.
131
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,325
By the way, man,
this place is beautiful.
132
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,450
I started a gravel company. I
mean, who knew it would take off?
133
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:50,921
Gravel company.
134
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,411
Yeah. What about you?
What are you doing?
135
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,801
Not gravel, obviously.
136
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,360
No, things are good.
Things are good.
137
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:57,885
Got some stuff
in the works, so...
138
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,769
Oh, cool.
Yeah, you never know.
139
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,684
Hey, bro. Stop wasting
time with this haircut.
140
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,446
He's got a $50,000
sports car.
141
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,045
Cheers!
Yeah, okay, Ken.
142
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,442
Duncan, listen!
I would love to help you out,
143
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:10,646
but where am I
going to find somebody
144
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,121
that is pretty, smart
and well-informed, huh?
145
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:17,125
Hold on, hold on! Erin, do you
know anybody that might...
146
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,641
Oh, my gosh.
147
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,525
You love the news, right?
148
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,251
Well, it depends.
149
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,449
I mean, sometimes I find out
things that are really sad.
150
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,364
Well, I've got a buddy that's a
big-time local news producer.
151
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,091
I can't tell you his name,
but it'd blow your mind.
152
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,044
Uh, is it Duncan?
153
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,326
He's looking
for on-air talent,
154
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,368
and he'd kill me if
I didn't get you on tape.
155
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,130
You mean,
put me on the news?
156
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,806
You'll just come over, put on
a little lipstick, loosen up
157
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,484
with a glass of
red wine and then
158
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,085
we'll just run
through a few stories.
159
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,926
You know, a couple of different ways
in a couple of different outfits.
160
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,209
It'd be really tasteful and
it'd really help out with...
161
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,327
With my friend.
162
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,369
What do
you say? Huh?
163
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,051
- Well, maybe, okay? Let me think about it.
- Okay.
164
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:03,681
Think it over.
165
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,211
No, Clark's not my friend.
166
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,851
He is the douche that sits
next to me at the office.
167
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,720
My friends are Scott, Glen and
Rob, but you don't know them.
168
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,961
I never really thought much about being
more than a receptionist, but why?
169
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,648
Because I happened to answer a Help
Wanted ad to be a receptionist?
170
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:27,931
I mean, what if the ad had been
for a CEO or for a brain surgeon?
171
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,841
So, uh, it was a year ago
today that I met Lara.
172
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,284
I thought
she was my waitress,
173
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,807
and, uh, it took her
three weeks to tell me
174
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,041
that she actually
owned the place.
175
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,124
You are full of surprises.
176
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,771
You are my beautiful
mystery girl.
177
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,681
And today, I have
a surprise for you.
178
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,885
He plays the piano?
179
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,611
No. Roy? No.
180
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,121
You know how I said I was
taking boxing lessons?
181
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,964
Actually I was doing this.
182
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,362
Um, so,
I hope that you like it.
183
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,804
You got this, Roy!
184
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,407
She's got a way about her
185
00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,847
I don't know what it is
186
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,881
But I know that I
can't live without her
187
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,325
She's got a way
188
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,482
We still surprise
each other.
189
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:27,641
Definitely.
190
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,246
You know, I never did it,
but for your 30th birthday,
191
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,163
I really wanted to
surprise you with...
192
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,004
Court-side seats.
Sixers.
193
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:40,331
Yes. But what I didn't tell you was
that I actually bought the tickets.
194
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,920
We only didn't go because...
195
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,240
it was an away game.
196
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,846
In Phoenix. They should really
tell you that more specifically.
197
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,844
I mean, every game is an away
game for one of the teams.
198
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,762
Do we know everything
about each other?
199
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:55,841
No.
200
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,930
Tell me one thing about you I don't know.
201
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:01,921
Uh... Um...
202
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,161
Okay-
203
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,561
Oh.
204
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,091
Here's one. Did I ever
tell you about the time
205
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,686
that my brothers videotaped
the lottery announcement
206
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,728
and bought the winning
numbers the next day,
207
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,002
and then played the tape
for me the next week...
208
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,445
And you thought you
guys were millionaires.
209
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,204
You heard that one.
Yes.
210
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,407
But there's... Wait!
211
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,245
Oh, there's a funny ending to
that story, I can't remember.
212
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,731
That I thought we
were millionaires.
213
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,131
That you thought
you were millionaires.
214
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,281
Yeah. That's funny.
215
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,089
Shoot! I knew that one.
That's all right.
216
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,561
The Senator and I
still have mystery.
217
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,970
I'm always waiting to see what he's
going to surprise me with next.
218
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,561
You all right?
219
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,644
You support the
Taliban abroad,
220
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,246
so I assume you're willing
to live by their rules here.
221
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,604
Anything else
would be inconsistent.
222
00:10:56,680 --> 00:11:02,403
Will you join me then in a pledge to
live by Taliban law in this office?
223
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,289
Absolutely, I will.
224
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,648
I feared Nellie had
some sort of a plan.
225
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,529
But she used
a ridiculous font.
226
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,088
You don't have a plan.
227
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,644
When you use a ridiculous font,
no one thinks you have a plan.
228
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:28,924
Looking for this?
229
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,881
What the...
230
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:37,289
Oh, this is a lovely pen. And
it's mine now because I stole it.
231
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:38,847
Give me that!
232
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:39,921
Didn't we sign a contract
233
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,765
to live under Taliban law?
234
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,689
Now there's been a theft.
235
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:48,402
That means you're not serious or
someone's getting their hand cut off.
236
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,201
You're insane.
237
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:53,051
I know, so it's better
that you pick another charity.
238
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,926
Oh, and let your precious Operation
Powergrab proceed unchecked?
239
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,047
No, thank you.
240
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,804
Inthatcase, you
241
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,727
will have to chop off
my hand.
242
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,888
This cleaver appears
to need sharpening.
243
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,483
I suggest you spend some quality time
together, just you and your hand.
244
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,130
Tie a shoe.
Toss a salad.
245
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,086
Do any of the two-hand activities
that you'll miss the most.
246
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,243
I tell you what,
I need to make three calls,
247
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:29,209
and then after that you can become a
person who chops off people's hands.
248
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,810
Sounds like a plan.
249
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,883
Clark wants to film you in different
outfits inside his apartment?
250
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:36,961
Yeah.
251
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,484
Clark! You and I need
to have a little chat.
252
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,440
What clothes does Erin need
for this news audition?
253
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,011
Uh...
254
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,728
A couple of button-downs,
a camisole, a blazer,
255
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,521
a pencil skirt,
stilettos, maybe...
256
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,927
No, not maybe,
definitely open-toed.
257
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:02,246
Uh, something low-cut because the camera
makes everything seem higher cut.
258
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,163
Really?
Yeah. Industry secret.
259
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,324
You're going to want some of those
pantyhose with the seam up the back.
260
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,811
Seems unnecessary
for an audition.
261
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,645
And then, you know, maybe just a
robe to wear in between takes,
262
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,405
but I probably got one that she
could borrow at my place, so...
263
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,000
Thank God someone here knows
what they're talking about.
264
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,570
I want you to take
this credit card,
265
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,961
take Erin to the mall
and get that stuff.
266
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,327
I absolutely will do that.
267
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,562
Awesome. Plop!
268
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,884
Guess I'll just head
over to the mall, then.
269
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,531
Buy Erin some
sexy fun outfits.
270
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,089
That Clark, huh?
271
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,243
Next question
for our oldy-weds?
272
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,482
What's the craziest place
you ever made whoopee?
273
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,527
Language!
274
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:47,090
Who was Pam's
first celebrity crush?
275
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,286
That's good.
Okay.
276
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:52,649
Pam's first celebrity crush.
John Stamos.
277
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:53,921
Ready?
Uh-huh.
278
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,127
John Stamos.
279
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,281
Oh.
Yes!
280
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,441
But John Stamos was temporary.
281
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:58,806
I quickly moved
on to Johnny Depp.
282
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,530
Johnny DePP-
283
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,565
Sorry, I was having a
separate conversation with Kevin.
284
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:11,921
Uh...
285
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,610
Johnny Depp.
Totally.
286
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:15,924
George Clooney.
287
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,051
Okay, I have one.
I have one.
288
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,088
What is your warning... KEVIN:
What is the craziest place
289
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,685
you ever made whoopee?
Hey!
290
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,967
Kevin, stop it
with that question.
291
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,642
Right? And did you show
them the market? Yeah?
292
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,050
And what did they say?
293
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,165
That's awesome!
294
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,687
That... Oh, my God! Wow!
295
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,525
It's not even real yet.
296
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,251
And I'm not going to
tell her until it's real.
297
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:45,087
I think maybe there actually is
something I don't know about Jim.
298
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,449
Everyone, we have a voluntary
meeting in the conference room
299
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,807
to discuss Erin's confidence.
300
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:57,530
Her body. We're going
to talk about her body.
301
00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:58,767
Good. Great job.
302
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,083
Andy made me his consigliere, which
means assistant regional manager.
303
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,562
I guess he thought I would be into
The Godfather because I'm black.
304
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,201
Wrong.
305
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,041
I'm into The Godfather
because I'm a cinephile.
306
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,524
I like Scarf ace
because I'm black.
307
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:17,162
Erin has an audition
to be a newscaster.
308
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,240
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
309
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,243
Uh-huh.
310
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:26,128
And I want her to feel very
comfortable in her very sexy skin.
311
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,807
So, everybody say something that you
like about her body. All right?
312
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:30,927
Darryl?
313
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,005
Okay. Um, I like Erin's hair.
It's a very pretty color.
314
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,367
Yeah, right?
315
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,449
I'm sorry, this is
for a news audition?
316
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,521
Yeah.
317
00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,967
Then why are we
talking about her looks?
318
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,691
Why not her credibility
or her reliability?
319
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,526
Newsflash, everyone,
the human race
320
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,409
finds attractive people
more trustworthy.
321
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,603
So sorry, Andy, but for 20 years,
the most trusted man in America?
322
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:53,767
Walter Cronkite.
323
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:54,841
Cronkite was hot!
324
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,366
If I could go back in time,
I'd take that moustache ride.
325
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,283
Does Erin have
any experience?
326
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,408
Has she taken any
journalism classes maybe?
327
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:02,931
Has she done
the pageant circuit?
328
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:04,481
No, I watch the news.
329
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,483
She's going to be amazing.
Look at her.
330
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,721
She's going to
light up the screen!
331
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,086
This is
a first for me.
332
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:10,685
And I don't get
a lot of chances,
333
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,569
so I have to take
them really seriously.
334
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,208
I will do whatever it
takes to get the job.
335
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,243
Whatever it takes.
Yeah, I know. I heard.
336
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:24,281
This is it.
337
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,843
Any questions?
Is it going to be long?
338
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:31,242
No, it's going to be over
before you know it. Mmm-hmm.
339
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,562
Afghan President Hamid Karzai
340
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,763
declared a new policy of "Dollar
Days" throughout the country,
341
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:45,325
promising low, low prices on all
2012 Kia Sentras and Sonatas.
342
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,201
"Aren't you glad you waited?"
Karzai commented.
343
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,362
Um, where did you
get that story?
344
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,363
A little bit here,
a little bit there.
345
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,761
I bet you didn't think
I knew current events.
346
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,209
I love it. It's fantastic.
Now tag it with your name.
347
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,049
For Channel Eleven News,
I'm Erin Hannon.
348
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,246
Pause after "news."
349
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,240
For Channel Eleven
News, I'm Erin Hannon.
350
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,526
No, pauselongen
351
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,726
That was a good one.
352
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:14,647
Pause... Pause longer, okay? It
builds suspense. Don't be shy.
353
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,091
Got it.
354
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,443
For Channel Eleven News...
355
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:31,085
It's... Okay, all right.
I'm Erin Hannon.
356
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:32,846
Great.
357
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,964
Some great stuff in there.
358
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,006
I can feel you
looking at me.
359
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,401
Okay. Well, here's
something you don't know.
360
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,848
A couple of weeks ago...
Mmm-hmm.
361
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,649
...I ran into this guy
from my high school
362
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,769
who has just gotten divorced,
363
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,129
and he hit on me in the mall.
364
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,408
And I didn't
tell you because,
365
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,523
I don't know,
I felt embarrassed,
366
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,967
and I didn't know
if you'd be mad, or worried.
367
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,691
But anyway, I thought
you'd want to know.
368
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,400
That didn't happen.
369
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,605
You would have
told me right away.
370
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,250
Yeah, I would have.
371
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:10,489
What about you? Come on,
there's got to be something.
372
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,841
Between your birth
and the last two days,
373
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,042
something you just haven't
had the chance to tell me.
374
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:17,201
Uh...
375
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,685
Just tell me.
376
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,771
God, give it up, Beesly.
You know me too well.
377
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,681
- Hey.
- Hey.
378
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,606
Urn, I knew something bothered me,
and I finally figured it out.
379
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,126
What news producers are going to
want to see is how Erin relates
380
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,168
to the other people
on the news team. Oh.
381
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,608
The weird thing is that Erin
is doing the audition alone.
382
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,082
Oh, God. Now, I'd say Clark
could be your co-host,
383
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,250
but he's already doing camera.
384
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,244
Somebody who's already
got rapport with Erin maybe?
385
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:08,806
I don't know.
386
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,248
This is for real this time.
387
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,645
It's getting late. I thought you
guys could use a little inspiration.
388
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,127
Oh, a movie.
What is this?
389
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,288
127 Hours. It's about
this guy who goes...
390
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,528
No, no, no! No spoilers, please.
391
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,090
My bad. You're right.
No.
392
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,890
Okay.
Good night.
393
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,968
- Hey!
- Hey!
394
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,485
Everybody.
Yeah.
395
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:41,883
Come in. Come on in.
All right.
396
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:43,281
Nice.
397
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,331
What are you doing here?
398
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,210
Oh, sorry, man. Andy thought
Erin needed a co-anchor.
399
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,087
I'm his makeup guy.
My hands are tied.
400
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:56,251
The victim was released from the
hospital with second degree burns.
401
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:57,401
Wow.
402
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,841
You know what they say, Erin,
if you can't take the heat,
403
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,445
get out of the kitchen.
404
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,048
Well, he tried to, but the
fire door was blocked.
405
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,167
He sure did.
406
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,366
All right, we got that.
407
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,771
That's a wrap, everybody.
408
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,001
Oh. I just... You sure, Clark?
409
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,206
Yup, she's done.
410
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,960
No, I just... I don't mean Erin.
I mean for me.
411
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,969
I didn't feel
good about that.
412
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,045
No, no.
We got it. We got it.
413
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,562
Great. Let's get some food.
I'm starving.
414
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:24,201
I don't think we did get it. I
could do a couple more takes.
415
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:28,285
We could do it in a close-up. That
might even be better for editing.
416
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,325
Okay, I don't.
417
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,126
All right.
418
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,565
I'm hungry.
419
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,001
Uh...
420
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,367
Pete, you want to take Erin
to get a burger or something?
421
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,408
- Yeah, whatever you say, boss.
- Okay.
422
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:40,766
- I'll call you later.
- Okay.
423
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,002
Okay.
So this is a single.
424
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:48,245
Hey, even if this doesn't work out for me,
I'm just glad I had the guts to do it.
425
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,847
And maybe it will
work out for Andy.
426
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,649
Oh, God! Yeah. That is
absolutely revolting!
427
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,087
He is so good, though.
Yes.
428
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,128
The way he just
cuts off his arm.
429
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,169
If you like James Franco,
we really should watch
430
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,526
Rise of
the Planet of the Apes.
431
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,364
Well, he's a genius,
you know?
432
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:14,446
He was in graduate programs at Yale,
Columbia, and NYU all at the same time.
433
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,443
Whoop-de-do. That doesn't
make you a genius.
434
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,204
Well, it doesn't
make you stupid.
435
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,567
Well, yeah, it does actually.
It makes you real stupid.
436
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,369
Stupid like you.
No, like you!
437
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,965
Like you!
You're the stupid one.
438
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,405
You're the stupid one.
You're the stupid one.
439
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,568
You. You. You. You. You. You.
You're the stupid one.
33540
