All language subtitles for The.West.Wing.S06E13.WEBRip.x264-FGT

Previously on The West Wing:

LEO:
Ever see
Arnie Vinick campaign?

He'll go into those high school
gymnasiums in Iowa

and blow them
all away.

You're right,
I let Russell seduce me

with mindless perks
like a salary

and actual
political support.

And what make-work job
do they even have you
doing over there?

Media targeting
for the Northeast
and Pacific Northwest

WILL:
You have to care who's going
to sit in that chair

after Jed Bartlet is gone.

I do.

That's why I don't want
Bob Russell to be President.

I'm going to give
the big speeches,

and I'm going to
push every limit,

and that's the campaign
you get to run.

* I go out walking

* After midnight

* Out in the moonlight,
just like we used to do *

* I'm always walking

* After midnight,
searching for you... *

TREVOR:
You gonna need me
in the morning?

DONNA:
I'll call Mindy if I do.

Okay.

Thanks.

Hey.

Anything for 412?

( sighs )

Mr. Bailey's still
in the cafe.

Thanks.

Good night.

5:45 wake-up call?

Yeah, or you could
just have someone

come to my room and
hit me over the head

with a mallet
or something.

WILL:
We got a name for
the hog roasts yet?

CHRISTINE:
Um, pig out with Bob?

ROGER:
Hey, how was
South Carolina?

Southern.

WILL:
How'd the donor
conferences go?

Heard a couple
hundred ideas

about how Democrats
can take back the South

and scooped up
the checks.

Don't be a tease...

Half a million.

Wow!
Hey.
Nice!

DONNA:
When's the VP
coming in?

Air Force 2 is
wheels down at 9:30.

Where do you want me?
WILL:
We need to pack the stage

for Thursday's Debate
with five

or six fringe candidates.

Christine'll help you.

We've got, uh, two recently
released federal inmates,

uh, an airline mechanic,
two men over the age of 80,

comedian, a nun.

Don't forget
Jennifer James.

Porn star.
That girl's
got talent.

And stamina.
One guy's
entire platform

is, uh, a tax cut
for anyone who

adopts a pet and has
them neutered.

And why do we want
them in the debates,

aside from, you know,
the neutering thing?

WILL:
Hoynes was hoping to be alone
on that stage with the VP.

The more wackos we put

around him, the
more Hoynes looks

like just another clown.

Okay, morning staff
at 6:30.

( "Walking After Midnight"
playing )

( Will clears throat )

WILL:
How was it?

Good. Pool in Charleston
was nice.

You had time
to swim?

No, but it looked nice.

We really going
to call them

Bob's Boulders?

They keep signing
those checks,

I don't care if they
call themselves the
Flying Wallendas.

Half a million.

Not bad for two days of
rolling with the Boulders.

Night.

* The old hometown
looks the same *

* As I step down
from the train *

* And there to meet me
is my mama and my papa... *

( sighs )

JOSH:
Uh, can you hold the elevator?

I'm sorry, I didn't...

Yeah, uh, if we
can't afford

at least 200 points
out of Boston,

we got to find
another way.

* ...hair of gold
and lips like cherries... *

Stuart, will you, uh,
call me back in five?

I'm sorry, I couldn't
find the button.
Right.

No... Uh, will
you hit four?

* The old house
is still standing *

* Though the paint
is cracked and dry *

* And there's that old oak tree
that I used... *

Just get back?

Yeah. South Carolina.

How's it going for
you guys down there?

We're closing in
on Hoynes.

You?

We're focusing on New
Hampshire right now.

( sighs )

( elevator dings )

( doors opening )

( sighs )

* ...smiling sweetly

* It's good to touch the green,
green grass of home... *

So, where did you stay

in South Carolina?

Marriott, Charleston.

Oh, they got that
nice looking pool.

* ...four gray walls
surround me *

* And then I realize

* I was only dreaming...

( sighs )

So... good night.

Yeah. See you.

* ...arm in arm, we'll walk
at daybreak *

* Again I'll touch...

You're doing
it too fast.

I get... I get
frequent flyer miles

every time I swipe it...

Thank you.

So much for
the Bermuda trip.

* The green, green grass
of home... *

( groans )

* ...arm in arm,
we walk at daybreak *

( door closing
inside Donna's room )

* Again, I touch the green,
green grass of home *

* Yes, they'll all come
to see me *

* In the shade
of the old oak tree *

* As they lay me 'neath the
green, green grass of home... *

( groans gently )

Yeah?

FEMALE VOICE:
Good morning. It's 5:45 a.m.

Carlie Farkula,
a 22-year-old Turkish woman

who was sexually involved
with a coworker

was convicted of adultery
this morning.

She's been sentenced to death
for her crime.

The conviction of the young
woman comes at a precarious time

for Turkey, who has,
until recently, enacted reforms

aimed at preparing the country
for European Union membership.

However, EU officials say

the execution of Miss Farkula
would be

a major obstacle to Turkey's
future inclusion in the EU.

Meanwhile, Bartlet
Administration officials

stressed that while they're
saddened by Turkey's decision

to allow the execution
to go forward,

the United States
remains committed

to strengthening ties
with Turkey.

ROGER:
American Legion
Pancake breakfast,

followed by
brief remarks

at the opening
of the new field office

in Des Moines.

It's going to be five degrees

with wind chill.
Bus ride to
Centerville,

then on to the Iowa
Corn Growers speech.

Where are we on
the ethanol speech?
VP loves ethanol.

Showers in it every morning.

CHRISTINE:
Comment on Turkey?

WILL:
What's the
President saying?

"Saddened. Committed
to strengthening ties."

Wile the Vice
President...
Saddened? They're going to

behead her for sleeping
with a coworker.

WILL:
Who's got the wonderful
world of corn?

That'd be me-- Iowa Corn Growers
Expo is a nonpartisan event

sponsored
by the Iowa Farm League.
Nonpartisan?

What's that?
Well, the Expo offers

an excellent
opportunity to
address farmers,

corn growers,
crop consultants

and seed corn reps
on a variety of issues,

including the economy,
farm subsidies,

trade, biotechnology,

ethanol and an
alternative fuel.

Now, we're sure Hoynes
is going to flip?

Believe me,
Hoynes is taking

the ethanol pledge.

This is a guy who,
if he was speaking to a group

of cannibals, would promise
'em missionaries.

ROGER:
Think we'll be able
to find some corn?

HOWARD:
Corn fritters,
corn pudding,

corn flambé,
corn souffle,

Creole corn,
country-fried corn,

peanut butter
corn cakes,

and Huitlacoche.

It's like a corn smut.
It's a sweet corn fungus.

They give it to pigs
in the States.

It's actually a delicacy
in South America.

Well, no
need to stop

for lunch today--
everybody fill up on corn smut

at the Jefferson
Cow Barn.

All right, five days
till the Caucuses,

19 days to New Hampshire.

WILL:
You two heading out on your, uh,

"Beyond the Fringe" world tour?

First stop, Peter Burton--
he wants the military

to occupy our schools
to prevent gun violence.

M-1 Abrahms
tank seems like
a worthwhile

truancy deterrent.

120-mm cannon'd blow
the training wheels

right off any tardy
sixth grader's bike.

Tough on cafeteria
linoleum.

Hey, swing by the Expo.

Bob'll want to thank you
for looking at that pool.

DONNA:
We can skip this next one.

He went to a federal prison

for three years for refusing
to pay income tax.

You ever been to one

of these crazy caucuses, Trevor?

Yeah, my, uh,
grandmother

runs one down at her church
every four years.

You don't think it's weird
your out-of-the-way,

nickel-and-dime,
penny-ante state

gets to go first?

Well, we-we
always go first.

Yeah, and why is that?
Iowa's first because it's first.

CHRISTINE:
Says who?

We should check
this Craig guy out.

So, you don't
think Californians

should get to meet the
candidates down at the Barstow

Dairy Queen?
We're not a bunch

of politically
spoiled farm hands.

Look, we take the
responsibility

of screening the
Presidential candidates

for the rest of the
nation very seriously.

Guy wins Iowa,
all it means

is he's learned
how to speak intelligently

about soybeans
and farm implements.

( clears throat ):
Here we are; this
is the Burtons here.

CHRISTINE:
Maybe we should've
called first.

WILL:
Good flight in?

RUSSELL:
Uh, slept.

First stop's
a pancake breakfast?

I love pancakes.

WILL:
The Sun Times wants
a statement on farm subsidies.

RUSSELL:
Uh, the family farm

is the backbone
of America.

Think they were looking
for something

a bit more substantial.
Well, what do
they expect?

I'm going to come
out against farm
subsidies in Iowa?

Oppose manhole covers
in Manhattan?

WILL:
We'll give 'em
the boilerplate.

It's a tragedy
about that woman in Turkey.

We issue a statement?

WILL:
You deplore it.

That's good to know.

And you support
President Bartlet's efforts

to strengthen ties
with an important regional ally.

This morning's finance report:

$8.2 million,
cash in hand.

That ought to buy
a few lawn signs.

And the lawns to go with 'em.

ROGER:
Got a minute
for some donors?

Irwin Drucker
and his wife, Eileen

have a daughter, Susan,
at LSU.

Peter Mosby--
he's in insurance.

RUSSELL:
Uh, sorry I got stuck
in the back

talking to
the White House.

Irwin, Eileen, how's
your daughter, Susan, doing

at, uh, LSU?

DONNA
Mr. Edgars, uh, your
platform would allow

all citizens to carry
a concealed weapon?

Not allow. Require.

And you don't think
that might lead to...

well, anarchy?

What we got now is anarchy.

An armed citizenry
will take back our cities,

our parks, our schools

and our highways.

* How I been happy lately
thinking 'bout days to come *

* And I believe it could be
something good has begun *

* Oh, peace train,
sounding louder *

* Glide on the peace train

* Peace train will take
this country *

* Take me home again.

RUSSELL:
You try those

pepper sausages?

Damn, those things
were hot.

Somebody get me a quart of milk
and a bucket of sand.

Paul Durett and his
wife, Mimi; Sam Skok

and his son, David.

Hey, y'all, I'm just going
to step back,

take my coat off--
I'll be right back.

Roger, uh, make sure

everybody's
got something to
drink, all right?

You get a chance
to look

at the ethanol speech
on the plane?

Yeah, seems fine.
Who else is speaking?

Hoynes before
you, Clarkson and
Santos after you.

The Republicans go tonight.

You think Arnie's
going to say

ethanol's a
colossal waste of
the taxpayers' money?

Thanks, Shelley.

WILL:
Vinick'll flip. Has to.

( sighs ):
I was in the Senate

last time he made
his anti-ethanol speech.

Whew. Passionate.

Had it been a tie,
I'm not sure what
I would've done.

Voted "aye",
if you ever wanted to run

for national office again.
Think ethanol passed

something
like 82 to 18.

I'm surprised
there were 18 Senators

with no presidential ambitions.

You really think that
Vinick can wriggle out

from under his
ethanol record?
He'll wiggle, he'll squirm,

but he'll say, as Senator,
he voted against it,

'cause it wasn't good
for California;

as President, he knows
it's good for the country.

He'll pull a
groin muscle

reaching around behind
him to pick up that one.

Majority Whip is positioning
on Third Circuit nominees again.

No, Vinick's not wrong
about ethanol.

It takes more oil
to transport it

and fertilize it than
we save using it.

Sir, you're not considering
changing the speech...

Was it Paul and Mandy?

Paul and Mimi;
son, David.

DONNA:
Mr. Johnson,

your platform
would include

paying the President,
the Cabinet

and all members of
Congress a salary

of one dollar
a year?

Hell, yeah,
make 'em get a real job.

And you want to ban
motorcycle helmets,

color television,
drop out of the U.N.,

abolish Medicare,

and totally privatize
Social Security?

We got to get the
government out of
our damn pockets.

Sir, are you sure
you're a Democrat?

We're gonna need some time

after the trip tonight
for a debate prep.

The Black and
Brown's coming up.

Do I really have
to go to that?

It's an Iowa
tradition.

It's not a fair fight.

Atkins and Santos get
to stand up there

holier than thou,
rail against racial injustice

while the rest of us
loiter around

looking like those two
albino twins from The Matrix.

Sir, Donna
Moss is here.

South Carolina
fundraising.

Donna, great job
on the Carolina trip.

Keep those boulders rolling.

Thank you, sir.

We can't put these
fringe candidates

on stage
with serious candidates.

We've got a fascist
who was arrested

for brandishing a rifle
and calling

for the overthrow
of the republic...

a delusional preacher,
a guy who just needs a job

and a refugee
from the New Christy Minstrels.

WILL:
Freight train derailed
in Baton Route.

Big chemical
spill and fire.

They're gonna have
to evacuate a 20
square-mile area.

Any fatalities?

Leveled a couple
of city blocks.

They're ready
for you, sir.

We're set on this
ethanol speech?

Don't worry.
I'm not suicidal.

I'm gonna take the pledge.

FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the Vice President
of the United States.

I was thinking about
throwing in a little something

about, uh, drastically reducing
sugar subsidies, though.

We can't give
these fringe
people a megaphone.

They're lunatics.

It'll be a circus
without the jugglers.

RUSSELL:
Thanks for
that welcome.

Now, I'm not
saying this just

because I'm in Iowa.

I say this everywhere I go.

We need more ethanol production!

( applause )

WILL:
It's not already
a circus?

When I was in Congress,
I voted to subsidize...

( soft groan )

Hello.

FEMALE VOICE:
Good morning.

It's 5:45 a.m.

Thank you.

( groans )

Carlie Farkula,
a 22-year-old Turkish woman

who was sexually involved

with a coworker, was convicted
of adultery this morning.

She's been sentenced
to death for her crime.

In the most recent attempt
to revamp Turkey's

78-year-old penal code,

members of the ruling
Justice Development Party

approved yesterday
a controversial amendment

( coughs )

to criminalize adultery.

Yeah.

Leaders are expressing concern
that the country's laws

might be moving closer
to Islamic law.

Conviction
of the young woman comes

at a precarious time
for Turkey,

who has until recently
enacted reforms aimed

at preparing the country
for European Union membership.

EU officials say
the execution of Miss Farkula

would be a major obstacle

to Turkey's future inclusion
in the EU.

Bartlet Administration officials
stressed that

while they're saddened
by Turkey's decision

to allow the execution
to go forward, the United States

remains committed

to strengthening ties
with Turkey.

DAFFY DUCK:
Hankering for trouble, eh?

HELEN:
Okay, you guys,

I'm just gonna
be right next
door, all right?

DAFFY DUCK:
I would like
to introduce myself:

Zip-along Daffy...

RONNA:
At 10:00, we tour

the Todd Family
Orchard in Ames,

press cider
and talk about

agricultural
policy with
local farmers.

Followed by
a photo op
in Audubon

with Albert,
the world's
largest bull...

Campaign's full of
metaphors, isn't it?
Yeah, Josh Lyman for...

On to the Firefighter's
Chili Cook-Off in Davenport.

We discuss volunteer
firefighters...

Say Ned, did Andrea
send over

the, uh, mark-ups
on the dispersal?

Yeah.
I want to weigh in on it
before it goes to the floor.

Yeah, you read it
on the way.

Next stop is the
Coffee Bean Caucus

at the Hamburg Inn Number Two.

The what?
JOSH:
It's a diner.

They line up mason jars

with each candidate's name
on it,

and every customer gets
a coffee bean to toss

into their favorite's jar.
I even have a jar?

We even send a volunteer

in for pie every
day for a week.

Oh, you got
seven beans, honey.

And a volunteer
as big as Albert?

Next is the nation's

oldest Dairy Queen
where you try soft serve

and talk about jobs
and the economy.

Next, we fly to Iowa
Corn Growers

Expo:
Watch-as-I-impale-myself...

We got a plane?
Sort of.
With wings?
Small ones.

...on-the-mighty-sword
of-corn-based-fuels speech.

What are you going
to say about ethanol?

JOSH:
Best thing

since soft serve.
HELEN:
Ethanol is subsidized

to the tune of what,

a billion dollars
a year, Josh?

SANTOS:
What's up after
the, uh, corn expo?

RONNA:
Uh, back here
for prep

on the Brown
and Black Debate.

All of you are gonna prep
me for a debate on race?

JOSH:
Yeah, we should at least go
over the opposing arguments.

See if we can
get after Hoynes

on some of
the issues.

I grew up in Houston, Josh.

I lived the opposing arguments.

Okay, that's it.
Parking lot, ten minutes.

SANTOS:
It's terrible

about this woman
in Turkey, huh?

What do you think the
President's going to do?

Not much, I guess.
I mean, she's a Turkish citizen.

It's their country.

They're executing her because

she slept with her fiancé.

Thank God she didn't
cook him breakfast, too.

Hey, we execute minors.

The rest of the world thinks
that's barbaric.

I'm with the world.

You joining us
this morning?

Uh, no.
Peter's got the sniffles.

Think we're gonna stay here
for a while.

Honey, a billion dollars a year
to make a gasoline additive?

I'm gonna go
get my coat.

Kiss the kids
good-bye.

Yeah, pictures are better
without the coat.

Circulation's
better with it.

Register has us
at three percent?

Yeah, I saw.

Iowa's Hispanic
population

is two point
eight percent.

A billion dollars
that could be spent

on child healthcare,
prenatal care,

Head Start, education.

Catch up with
us later?

Yup.

See you.

JOSH:
Oh, we wrangled you
an invitation

to go pheasant hunting with one

of the Osceola
County Supervisors.

Get into camo gear,

swing a 12-gauge
over your shoulder,

get a few photos
for the AP.

With a gun?

Yeah, you were
in the Marines.

You know how
to shoot, right?

Yeah, 20mm chain gun,
but it might be a little hard

on the pheasant.

You know, Helen's not wrong
about ethanol.

No, please.
Come on.

SANTOS:
Bad for the environment,
it's expensive.

Mother of all panders.

After antagonizing
New Hampshire voters,

we're gonna march into Iowa,
do the same thing?

Transportation
is difficult,

storage is a nightmare.
What is this,

the insult
and injury tour?

We going to North Dakota next,

tell them South Dakota
has the cooler-sounding name?

Farm subsidies began as a way

to help farmers
in the Depression.

It's decades out-of-date.

It's corporate welfare.

Don't you actually
want to get

some votes in one
of these states?

SANTOS:
75% of the money goes

to the richest ten percent
of American farmers.

You know, we're talking about

writing six figure checks

to Chevron,

the John Hancock
Insurance Company,

NBA basketball stars.

Repeat after me:

"Family farming is
a precious way

"of life in this country,

"and we're gonna do
everything we can

to protect it."
Hi, I'm Matt Santos.

I'm running for President.
Why don't you come back inside,

we'll talk about how
we can make America stronger?

So, I want to take another look

at the ethanol speech
when we get...

No. Absolutely not.

As soon as we get back
on the bus.

It's not gonna happen.

RONNA:
He doing
it again?

Yeah.

NED:
Maybe we should find
some hungrier volunteers.

He's not talking
ethanol, is he?

Immigration.

Great, he proposing
opening the border

and pelting them
with surplus corn?

NED:
No, something about
foreign nationals serving

in the military without
being given citizenship.

SANTOS:
Yeah, we let them

defend our country,
but we won't let them

be American citizens

until after they're
discharged?

You're Hispanic.

You start talking
immigration reform,

people are going to think

you want
to throw open the borders.

No, no, no. Not
throw them open,

but make some
kind of sense

out of our
immigration laws.

And you know,
the ethanol
subsidy is a joke.

It's practically
in the Oxford
English Dictionary

under "pandering."

Maybe the voters will respect us

more for telling them the truth.

What truth? That because
ethanol isn't perfect,

they have to send their kids

to community college,
and we're gonna

yank millions out of
their local economy?

Yeah, but it's up to us
to explain to them

that it-it's gonna hurt them,
that-that we're essentially

paying for make-work jobs.

I mean, that can't be
what they want.

Yeah, well, explain
it to 'em after

someone's actually elected
us to something, okay?

SANTOS:
I am not going

to a Brown and
Black debate

and only talk about
economic issues.

I'll look
ridiculous.

JOSH:
Lack of opportunity

is the root
of all our divisions.

We need to lower the deficit,
lower interest rates,

and create more
private sector jobs.

We need to raise
educational standards,

and equip all Americans

for the new economy.

That's what Russell
and Hoynes will be saying.

You're trying to steer me

towards middle-of-the-road
positions that appeal

to C-SPAN
viewers.

All six of them

who'll be watching the debate,
yeah, God bless 'em.

You really want
me to talk

about the
economic problems

in the minority
communities?

Yeah, I really do.

Okay. How
about the fact

that minority kids are
five times more likely

to grow up poor
and fatherless?

You know
you can't go there.

I'm serious.

Kids who grow up fatherless
are more likely

to suffer emotional
consequences,

and twice as likely

to engage in
criminal activities.

We need to be
challenging
Hoynes, not

fringe candidates
like Atkins.

We reformed welfare
to require women to work--

that is,
when they can find a job--

but we haven't done half as much

to force deadbeat dads
to pay for child support.

You know damn well

less than a quarter
of Latino kids

grow up without their fathers.

It's nearly half
of African-American children.

I don't care
if it's three Bosnians,

an Armenian and a bus full
of party clowns,

it's a huge economic
problem, Josh.

It's gonna look like

you're lecturing
African-Americans.

Oh, so, if I'm President,

I can only use the bully pulpit
to talk to Latinos?

What, does my State of the Union
only run on Telemundo, too?

No, but tell
me right now.

What's gonna help
everyone broadly,

make a difference across

all the races?

Values issues are important,
too, Josh.

And supporting ethanol

is a mistake.

I want to see that speech.

This is a small plane.

You don't like
small planes?

Like, Buddy Holly small.

Big Bopper small.

Jiles Perry
Richardson.

The Bopper's
real name.

Richie Valens, too.

All went down
right here in Iowa.

( sighs )

( plane engine whirring )

Where's the Congressman?

RONNA:
Up front.

Up front?

Well, he can't exactly fly it
from back here.

Everybody set?

You might want
to buckle up, Josh.

Don't think I'll ever get tired
of doing barrel rolls.

SANTOS:
"Ethanol is good
for our economy,

"good for our environment,

and should be at
the heart of our
energy strategy."

We've lost 850,000 jobs
to foreign oil.

Hmm.

Ethanol's created 150,000.

Think of it
as a Midwestern jobs program.

SANTOS:
"As President,

"I will ensure that
by the year 2020,

"ten percent of all
motor fuels will come

from renewable sources
like ethanol..."

Four lines at the top
of the speech.

Think of it as a quick trip
to the dentist.

Yeah, I'm a pretty
good flosser.

Hey, honey.
How was your day today?

Good. Peter's feeling better.
Great.

Ronna, do we know
who's been here already?

Uh, Hoynes this
morning, Russell
about an hour ago.

All right, you know,

I'm-I'm not gonna
do this, any of it.

I'm gonna
go in there,

and I'm gonna tell
these people the truth.

We have to help farmers
in the tough years,

and then reform the system

so that we can target
those who really need it,

not these agri-businesses
and multimillionaires.

Ready,
Congressman?
!
Yeah.

You walk out there
on that stage,

and you come out
against ethanol,
you are dead meat.

Bambi'd have a better shot

getting elected President
of the NRA than you will have

of getting a single vote
in this Caucus.

Let him say what he wants
to say, Josh. He's right.

No, he's not.

Look, you want me

to support something
I know to be

lousy policy
and a colossal waste

of taxpayers' money to
round up a couple of votes

for a Caucus I can't
possibly win.

I want you to support
a policy that helps
a lot of people,

so that a year from now
when you are sworn in

as President,
you can make the changes

we both know need
to be made.

I'm ready.

Matt?

Take the oath.

MALE ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentlemen.

Congressmen Mathew Santos.

( applause continues )

Oh, thank you.

Thank you very much
for that warm welcome.

( clears throat )

Ethanol...

is good for our economy,

good for our environment,
and should be at the heart

of our energy strategy.

( applause )

As President,
I will ensure

that by the
year 2020,

ten percent of all motor fuels

come from renewable resources
like ethanol.

( whistling )

( applause )

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm here to talk

about the dramatic steps
that we must take...

( phone ringing )

Yeah?

Great. Okay. Thank you.

Carlie Farkula,
a 22-year-old Turkish woman

who was sexually involved
with a co-worker

was convicted of adultery
this morning.

Leaders are expressing concern
that the country's laws

might be moving closer
to Islamic law.

Meanwhile, Bartlet
Administration officials

stressed that while
they're saddened

by Turkey's decision to allow
the execution to go forward...

SHEILA:
Speech on tax reform
at General Mills plant,

then a meet-and-greet
with the managers,

talk about improving
the business climate.

VINICK:
We have talking points
on the tax plan?

SHEILA:
Okay, 11:00

rally at the Mid-America Center

followed by fundraising lunch
for John Schofield.

Thought we said no to that.

MAYER:
Party's getting
behind him.

They're trying
to unseat Lockman.

All right, we have a couple of
house stops,

and then on to Hamburg Inn
Number Two.

SEAN:
That the place
with the beans?

Great pie, too.

Finally, tonight,

the Iowa
Corn Growers Association.

Did it suddenly
get quiet in here?

( clearing throat )

Do we have
that new direct mail piece?

Yeah, I took out about 17
exclamation points. Here.

Fewer words,
more pictures.
Thank you.

SHEILA:
Can we get any mileage

out of Bartlet
and this Turkey thing?

VINICK:
I don't see how.

He criticized the decision
while reaffirming our commitment

to regional autonomy.
Yeah, but if we
can find an angle,

it might be a good way to
remind caucus-goers of your

foreign policy experience.
We want to remind
them of my foreign

policy experience?
Might get their minds off
ethanol and abortion.

Bringing them
with me to a DMZ

wouldn't take their minds
off ethanol and abortion.

Cancel it.
Okay, everybody,
that's it.

No, we're done there.

Got the new

financial report.

We're up six million six.

That's a lot of money.

Now all we need
are a few people

willing to
vote for you.

Bob, you got crumbs
all over... oh, great.

Now, if I want a snack,

I just have to reach down
into the carpet.

You tell him?
Tell me what?

Got the new
field poll.

You're at five percent.

So, I'm up a little.

Half a point;
dumped two
million bucks

into Iowa, and you
are up a half?

Ten million more,

I can get you
into double digits.

No.
You're gonna
have to do it.

I'm not having
this conversation.

MAYER:
Sheila, tell him.

VINICK:
Stop it.

She's been doing
all her own talking

since she turned 35.
Why don't we talk
about this in the car?

VINICK:
I never thought
we should

commit resources here
in the first place.

SHEILA:
We can't just thumb
our noses at Iowa.

Let Allard clean up
and take

the momentum
into New Hampshire...?!

MAYER:
This is all about rural voters.

A Republican
can't win the White House

without the Farm Belt.

You want me in overalls,
spending all day

talking with
Whistler's mom

about soybean prices?

You know that's not
what we're talking about.

Farmers in America
don't want to get
paid in the mailbox.

They want to
get paid in
the marketplace.

That's catchy.
Pretty sure I wrote it.

People know
where I stand.

They may not like
it, but they know
I'll stick with it.

This is issue one,
two and three here.

I'm not a panderer.

MAYER:
It's unavoidable.

It's the non-
panderer's pander.

General Patton
would have pandered on ethanol.

Et tu, Brute?

VINICK:
Bartlet's economic policies
simply aren't working.

In small towns and rural
communities across America,

our lifestyle and values
are under siege.

The trade deficit's
at record levels.

Corn is down
three cents a bushel.

Soybeans
are down 12 cents.

MAN:
Isn't the deficit

due to NAFTA
as much as
anything else?

Trade creates jobs,
period.

One-third of Iowa's
agricultural product
goes overseas.

We need more programs

like the "Freedom
to Farm" legislation

that I helped sponsor.

MAN:
Around here,
we call that

"Freedom to Foreclose."

Well, that's clever,

but it's not
very accurate.

I mean, do you think that
farmers should decide

what they get
to plant,

or should that
be left up

to some bureaucrat
back in Washington?

You know, too often,
you're forced

to "farm the subsidy"
instead of the market.

SHEILA:
We could use the new study
the Ethanol Institute put out.

VINICK:
Yeah, I wonder who footed
the bill for that research?

MAYER:
It says if we put
ten percent ethanol

in every gas tank in America,

we can reduce worldwide oil
demand by two percent.

VINICK:
First, we can't produce

that much ethanol.

Second, using it
as an additive

allows the oil companies
to pump up octane levels

and sell more
premium gas to SUVs.

Senator, we're
just trying to...

Two years ago,
I called it highway robbery.

Now I'm supposed
to hand out ski masks, guns

and brown paper bags?

Forget
the subsidy argument.

You've said 100 times

reducing dependence
on foreign oil

is a national
security issue.

Yeah.
We fold ethanol
into that.

Yeah. The only problem is
it's not true.

Making a gallon of ethanol
takes almost a gallon of oil.

That's like saying using
tonic water as an additive

reduces our
demand for gin.
Look...

Listen, I need to catch
Valerie after school.

I want to wish her
a happy birthday.

Will you at least look
at the ethanol report?

It's a classic study
of a stupid policy

rammed down our throats
by special interests.

Makes about as much sense

as building patio furniture
out of corn.

But sure, I'll take a look.

VINICK:
We need fewer
regulations

on small businesses.

You know, small business
is like family farms.

And we have to do something
about these frivolous lawsuits

that jack up costs
for small businesses,

you know,
make it hard for them

to afford to have insurance,
capital investment...

Now, I'm for free trade,

but shouldn't it
be fair trade?

Can we really compete

with people earning
a dollar a day?

Do we really want workers
in Malaysia to be earning

our minimum wage?
( cell phone rings )

I mean, do you
have any idea

what real estate costs
in Kuala Lumpur?

Trade lowers

prices for Americans.

I mean,
how else do you think

that they keep things so cheap
over at Walmart, huh?

It's not just ethanol,
you know?

These... these subsidies

are what give us
the corn glut.

That's why we make
20 million tons

of corn sweetener
a year.

Average American
eats or drinks
93 pounds of it.

And we wonder why
we have an obesity
problem with kids.

What would I have to say?

You weren't wrong
as Senator.

Ethanol wasn't in the best
interests of California.

But as President,
you have to do what's right

for the whole country.

What did you expect?

How about, "As Senator,
I pandered to Californians,

but as President,
I plan to pander

to every special interest group
who will get me elected"?

Bob already have
a speech drafted?

You want to read it?
No, not especially.

You know, if Iowa

weren't first--
if it were third--

you know what it would be?

The South Dakota primary.

Is he going to do it?

Yeah.
Oh.

Hello...

Senator, your
granddaughter.

* Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday
to you... *

( laughing )

Well... well,
Montovani I'm not.

No.

No! Of course
I didn't forget.

Well, it's cold.
It started snowing.

Okay, you go back
to your friends.

I love you, too.

Happy Birthday,
pumpkin.

You have that "Profiles in
Spinelessness" speech of yours?

It's on the
prompters.

You ready, Senator?

Okay.

( weary sigh )

Man, I missed so many
of my own kids' birthdays;

now I'm doing it
with the grandchildren.

ANNOUNCER ( on P.A. ):
Ladies and gentlemen,

Senator Arnold Vinick.

( scattered applause )

( man coughs )

As many of you are aware,

in the past,
I haven't been a big supporter

of ethanol subsidies.

( man clears throat )

( people clearing
their throats )

( man coughs )

I know what
you want to hear.

Telling people
what they want to hear

is the easiest thing
you can do in politics.

But that's not why I'm here;

that's not why I'm running
for president.

Now, I know that
the ethanol subsidies

have been good
for some of you.

But mostly, it's a windfall
for huge conglomerates.

I'm embarrassed by it,

and I think
you should be, too.

Look, I know
what you're up against.

I grew up in a, in a

citrus farming community
in California...

if you elect me president,

ethanol subsidies
are not going to be

a part of my agriculture policy.

JOSH:
Wow.

HELEN:
Yeah, wow.

You and the Congressman
finished with dinner?

Yeah. At least
one candidate
gets to go home

without feeling like
he's been mugged.

( strained laugh )

Well, he may have his wallet,
but he'll be down

four points in
the morning.

Ned, would you mind
excusing us for a minute?

Thanks.

See ya.

Josh, why are we
even in Iowa?

Shouldn't we be focusing
on Texas, California,

places where we might
actually get some, um...

oh, what do you political
professionals call them,

uh... votes?
We're letting
people know

there's an alternative
to Hoynes and Russell.

Matt Santos, making sense,
talking about ideas.

Making sense
about ethanol?

It makes sense
in Iowa, yeah.

Russell's a
house of cards.

His support's a mile
wide and an inch deep.

We can't compete
with him

on endorsements or
institutional support.

But we don't have to
worry about Russell.

Hoynes'll find a way
to take him down.

This the famous
Josh Lyman nine-point plan?

Hoynes is smart; he
has access to money;

plenty of chits
he can call in.

Once Russell crumbles,

his support'll
flow to Hoynes,

unless someone has
established themself
as "Not Hoynes."

"Not Hoynes."
'Cause there are

going to be lots of
primary activists

who are very
uncomfortable

with an adulterous,
moderate,

DLC Democrat.

Oh, my God.
You actually

stay up nights
thinking this stuff up?

It's a living.

( sighing ):
Hmm...

Well, I'm going to bed.

Please don't keep him
up too late.

He's tired.

Good night, Josh.

Hey, still snowing outside?

Uh, yes-- supposed
to clear up in a
couple hours.

We gonna have to change
the schedule tomorrow?

Not yet.

Josh, as I live
and barely breath.

Senator, how are you?

VINICK:
Well, aside from the dozen
Republican farmers

who just tried to show me
the business end

of a Mr. Popcorn
machine, fine.

You know Sheila, Bob.

Hey.
SHEILA:
Hey.

You got some...

No, no, that's
just Bob's way

of packing a lunch.

Uh, Senator,
Congressman Matt Santos.

Yeah, we've met.

How are you, Matt?

I'm good, Arnie. You?

We co-sponsored
a doomed immigration
reform package

a couple years ago.
Yeah...

We fought the good fight,
lit the good match.

Still went down
in flames, though.

We're supposed to be driving
back to Des Moines now,

but... well, you know,
with the storm and everything,

we thought we'd get
something to eat

and see if it clears up.
Well, maybe
we could see

if the kitchen's
still open.
Yeah, I'll check it out.

SHEILA:
I'll get us a table.

Yeah, sure,
I'll-I'll be right there.

I read about that education plan

you introduced
in New Hampshire.

That's pretty gutsy stuff,
taking on the teachers' unions.

Well, I don't
think that I'll be

elected President
of my PTA right now, but, uh...

saw the ethanol speech.

Yeah, well, that wasn't gutsy
so much as suicidal,

or so my staff tells me.

Mind if I sit?

No, please.

Your guys Russell
and Hoynes

have come after
me on that already.

You lining up a
shot for tomorrow?

I think I'll just sit
this one out.

240-day school
year, hmm?

An end to
teacher tenure,

nationalizing
the system.

You want to hop on?
I could use the support.

I'm taking a shellacking
from my own side of the aisle.

I'm with you
on the tenure,

but a longer,
federally mandated
school year?

Uh... sounds like
another big Washington

power grab to me.
Oh, here we go...

Well, no.

Why would we want
to wrest control

from the local school
boards and the parents

who know more about
their kids than we do?

'Cause right now,
our local school boards

and parents aren't making sure
that our kids

could compete in
a tougher world marketplace.

Wouldn't be a Democratic plan
if it didn't involve more taxes.

Maybe we should take apart
every public school

brick by brick, auction 'em off.

Some things cost money, Arnie.

Who's going to
administer all this?

Because they did
such a great jobent
improving education

in the last
four decades?
All right,

are you through embarrassing me
in front of my staff here?

Not even close.

When are you headed back
to New Hampshire?

Tomorrow.

What with my ethanol tantrum,
I, uh...

I suspect my work here is done.

I think I've managed
to successfully drag

my-my-my poll numbers
below a pro hockey score.

Well, at least you've still got
a full set of teeth.

Yeah, my staff
is very proud.

Well, if they weren't, I was.

You're not an ethanol fan?

Not until today.

JOSH:
Kitchen's closed,

but they said they'd whip up
a few eggs, some sandwiches.

Thank you.

What do you think
they're plotting over there?

Well, if your day's
been anything
like ours,

I'd take away
the sharp cutlery.

That was a bold move
on the ethanol thing.

That was all him.

You'll end up
a loser here,

but you'll mop up
with the national press.

They'll be talking about
how courageous your guy is.

From your lips to God's ears.

What'd your guy
do on ethanol?

He took the pledge.

Republican field's
wide open.

We're just trying to find
a way to stay in the game.

Hmm.

( acoustic guitar strumming )

* Two hearts fading
like a flower *

* And all this waiting
for the power *

* For some answer
to this fire *

* Sinking slowly,
the water's higher *

* Mmm...

* Desire

* Desire

* With no secrets,
no obsession *

* This time I'm speeding
with no direction *

* Without a reason,
what is this fire? *

* Burning slowly,
my one and only *

* Mmm

* Desire

* Desire

* Desire

* Desire

Our current force is more than
adequate to meet the needs

of the agreed-upon security
arrangements and all parties...

* You know me,
you don't mind waiting *

* You just can't show me,
but God I'm praying *

* That you'll find me,
and that you'll see me *

* That you'll run
and never tire *

* Mmm...

* Desire

* Desire

* Desire

* Desire...

( phone ringing )

JOSH:
Hello.

FEMALE VOICE:
Good morning. It's 5:45 a.m.

Thank you.

( Josh sighs groggily )