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1
00:00:02,660 --> 00:00:03,180
We are live
at the Niedermeyer building
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00:00:03,216 --> 00:00:05,176
where we're waiting to see
if the charges
3
00:00:05,216 --> 00:00:07,376
of improper use
of campaign funds
4
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,250
will deter city
councilman Ted McKay
5
00:00:10,283 --> 00:00:12,303
from seeking a fourth term.
6
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,346
..eh, girl.
7
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:19,183
you forgot your
eyelashes,
your green contacts
8
00:00:19,216 --> 00:00:21,156
and your baby over my house.
9
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:22,830
Come get 'em girl.
10
00:00:22,116 --> 00:00:24,266
Hey, uh, excuse me, please,
lookie here.
11
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:27,180
Kesha, you left
your house arrest bracelet
12
00:00:27,216 --> 00:00:29,326
at the crib, okay.
13
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:30,230
Please, please,
come by pick it up.
14
00:00:30,266 --> 00:00:33,996
And look, you said, you-you
better bring back my VCR.
15
00:00:34,330 --> 00:00:36,280
You did say "Borrow," girl.
16
00:00:36,316 --> 00:00:40,176
- Yo, yo.. Come on..
- Hey, what's up!
17
00:00:40,216 --> 00:00:42,316
[indistinct chattering]
18
00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:44,330
Yo, y'all better call, brother.
19
00:00:44,366 --> 00:00:47,496
- Yo, come here to Williams'.
- Follow me.
20
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:50,120
- Yo, give me a call sometime.
- 'Yo, man. Yo. Eh, yo.'
21
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,380
Hey, girl, you gotta minute?
You gotta minute?
22
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,660
Give me your number.
23
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:54,180
Why don't you give me
your number?
24
00:00:54,216 --> 00:00:55,296
Why don't you give me
your number?
25
00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:57,333
Why don't you give me
your number?
26
00:00:57,660 --> 00:00:58,250
'Why don't you give me
your number?'
27
00:00:58,283 --> 00:01:01,173
Oo-o-h, McKay is having
a press conference
today.
28
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,370
Yeah, that McKay still haven't
fixed that pothole outside.
29
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,100
Every time I hit it
my eight-track
30
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,303
skip to the next song.
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00:01:09,216 --> 00:01:10,366
Not only that but that McKay's
32
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,330
shadier than
a Death Row contract.
33
00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:14,350
Oo-o-h, and everybody knows
34
00:01:14,383 --> 00:01:16,353
he cheats on his
wife
with prostitutes.
35
00:01:16,383 --> 00:01:18,253
Oh, come on, now, Dee.
36
00:01:18,283 --> 00:01:20,163
Come on, there ain't
no evidence of that.
37
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:21,270
No, I know it's true.
38
00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:23,180
My hair dresser told me.
39
00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:26,266
Hah, is this
the same hair
dresser
40
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,170
that said you look
like
Angela Bassett?
41
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,660
Yes.
42
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:32,320
In what movie, "How
Stella
Got Her Boobs Back?"
43
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:36,350
(female #1)
Oh, here he comes.
Here he comes.
44
00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:38,103
(Dee)
'Oh, here he is,
here he is.'
45
00:01:38,133 --> 00:01:40,163
Mr. Mckay, come on.
46
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,330
[booing]
47
00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:43,146
Do you have a statement?
48
00:01:43,183 --> 00:01:45,353
(Marlon)
'How cheesy.
How cheesy.'
49
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,373
I have a statement to make.
50
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,270
My fellow New Yorkers
51
00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:55,830
I am pleased to announce
that once again
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00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:57,096
I'm throwing my hat
into
53
00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:59,233
[laughing]
54
00:01:59,266 --> 00:02:01,996
Oh, how about I throw your hat
into that pothole outside.
55
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,830
Oh, my.
56
00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:05,496
[indistinct chattering]
57
00:02:06,283 --> 00:02:08,663
I want to bring
to this neighborhood
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00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,220
the same improvements
that I brought
59
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:12,000
to Times Square.
60
00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:14,350
You ruined Times Square.
You turned it to a theme park.
61
00:02:14,383 --> 00:02:17,353
Yeah, they don't even show
those good movies anymore
62
00:02:17,383 --> 00:02:19,153
like "Dr. Do Me A Little."
63
00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:23,830
Or-or "The Nutty Molester."
64
00:02:23,116 --> 00:02:24,146
Well, forget about all that.
65
00:02:24,183 --> 00:02:25,323
You chased all the small
businessmen out.
66
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,280
Well, we-we-we
just have to create
67
00:02:27,316 --> 00:02:28,376
more jobs, don't you know.
68
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,830
Yeah, good ones,
firemen, teachers.
69
00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:32,176
Lap dancers.
70
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,370
Why don't you do
something for a change?
71
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,200
You know,
instead of shaking hands
72
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:38,303
'and kissing babies.'
73
00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,153
- And babysitters.
- Oh.
74
00:02:41,183 --> 00:02:42,353
Sir, I don't
think
you understand
75
00:02:42,383 --> 00:02:44,833
how city government works.
76
00:02:44,116 --> 00:02:45,116
Sure he does.
77
00:02:45,150 --> 00:02:46,170
He's been getting
out of jury duty
78
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,180
for the past 20 years.
79
00:02:48,216 --> 00:02:50,096
Well, if you know so much, sir
80
00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:52,133
why don't you run?
81
00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:53,376
- Well, I-I..
- 'Yeah?.'
82
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,330
Why not?
Pops! Pops!
83
00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:59,150
(all)
Pops! Pops! Pops!
Pops! Pops! Pops!
84
00:02:59,183 --> 00:03:00,233
Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait--
85
00:03:00,266 --> 00:03:02,326
(all)
Pops! Pops! Pops!
86
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:03,180
This press conference is over!
87
00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:05,656
(all)
Pops! Pops! Pops!
88
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:07,170
[theme song]
89
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,160
♪ We're brothers ♪
90
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:11,280
♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪
91
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,166
♪ And we're colored ♪
92
00:03:14,266 --> 00:03:16,316
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
93
00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:18,120
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.'
94
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:20,000
'Beautiful guys, dynamite.'
95
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:22,100
[hip hop music]
96
00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:43,166
[music continues]
97
00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:48,350
[hip hop music]
98
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,270
Me, a politician?
99
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,180
Umm-umm, I'm just a ordinary Joe
who's running a diner.
100
00:03:55,216 --> 00:03:57,326
Yeah, but, Pops, that's
the great thing about
you.
101
00:03:57,366 --> 00:03:59,126
You're not a politician.
102
00:03:59,166 --> 00:04:02,496
I think you got a good
chance
to beat McKay.
103
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:03,380
(Shawn)
Yeah, pop. I
mean,
come on, now.
104
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,500
Marion Berry got elected.
105
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:09,000
And you only got
a liquor problem.
106
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:10,220
Besides, you ain't got
nothin' to worry about.
107
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,250
We got you back.
I'll be your campaign
manager.
108
00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:14,003
And Dee'd be
my secret service
109
00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:15,150
and Marlon be
my press secretary?
110
00:04:15,183 --> 00:04:17,133
A press secretary?
111
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:19,196
Man, why I gotta
do
all the ironin'?
112
00:04:21,316 --> 00:04:24,196
Shawn, you have
no campaigning experience.
113
00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,133
Yes, I do,
I helped Jesse
Jackson
114
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:27,316
when he ran for president.
115
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,660
What did you do for Jesse?
116
00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:31,250
Oh, I got him
a rhyming dictionary.
Oh..
117
00:04:31,283 --> 00:04:33,383
(imitating Jesse)
It's an
abomination
118
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,300
called segregation
119
00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:39,003
I recommend sexual relation.
120
00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:41,250
So you could all feel
jubilation
all over the nation.
121
00:04:41,283 --> 00:04:42,383
Keep hope alive.
122
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:46,333
Well, I'm not gonna run
123
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:49,156
and nothing can change my mind.
124
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,250
Well, I'm
surprised
you turned down
125
00:04:50,283 --> 00:04:52,283
a $70,000 a year job.
126
00:04:52,316 --> 00:04:55,346
Hmm, $70,000?
127
00:04:55,383 --> 00:04:59,503
Who am I to deny
the will of the people?
128
00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:00,150
That's a lot of bow ties.
129
00:05:00,183 --> 00:05:02,003
[Dee laughing]
130
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:04,180
[hip hop music]
131
00:05:06,283 --> 00:05:08,833
[chuckles]
132
00:05:08,116 --> 00:05:09,216
Look at you, pops.
133
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:10,380
You look like
the Cream of Wheat man
134
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,180
'on the fourth of July.'
135
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,350
Hey, look what I did,
I printed "Vote for Pops"
136
00:05:15,383 --> 00:05:18,123
on the back of these
massage parlor flyers.
137
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:19,250
That's genius, son.
138
00:05:19,283 --> 00:05:21,133
But, pops, from now on
you have to remember
139
00:05:21,166 --> 00:05:23,826
to support massage parlors.
140
00:05:23,116 --> 00:05:25,126
Shoot, I've been supporting
massage parlor
141
00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:26,346
ever since your mama
went through the change.
142
00:05:26,383 --> 00:05:27,383
[chuckles]
143
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,170
Bang, bang, bang, bang.
144
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,270
Pops, I came up with the
perfect
campaign commercial.
145
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:37,370
Tanqueray, bring your ass
and shake it, girl.
146
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,500
Do your thing.
147
00:05:39,830 --> 00:05:40,100
[beatboxing]
148
00:05:40,133 --> 00:05:41,353
♪ Pop that booty booty booty ♪
149
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,183
♪ Pop that booty booty booty ♪
150
00:05:43,216 --> 00:05:45,496
♪ Shake that booty booty booty ♪
151
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:46,300
♪ Bring that booty booty booty ♪
152
00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:48,173
♪ Pop that pop to pop ♪
153
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,330
♪ Pop that pop to pop ♪
154
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:51,300
♪ Bring that booty to the pop ♪
155
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,173
♪ Bring it around up and down ♪
156
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,330
♪ Shake it up shake it ♪
157
00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:56,300
♪ Move it to the left
move it to the right ♪
158
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,173
♪ Move it to the left
move it to the right ♪
159
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,330
♪ Shake it so hard
you bust a leg ♪
160
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:01,220
♪ Shake it so hard
you bust a leg ♪
161
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:03,220
♪ Now stop is there a cop ♪
162
00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:05,100
♪ Move that booty booty booty ♪
163
00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:06,333
♪ Shake that booty booty booty ♪
164
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,166
♪ Shake that booty
booty booty ♪♪
165
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,500
Hey!
What is going on in here?
166
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,170
Girl, pull on your clothes.
167
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,500
- Dee, what are you doin'?
- What's wrong with her?
168
00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:16,100
We're havin' a strategy meeting.
169
00:06:16,133 --> 00:06:18,503
Come over here, strategy.
170
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:19,300
Come over, girl, sit down.
171
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,003
Well, good news.
172
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,330
Pops is leading in the polls.
173
00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:24,250
- Hey!
- Yeah!
174
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:26,833
Oh, snap, yo,
according to this
175
00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:27,346
Pops and McKay
is running neck and neck.
176
00:06:27,383 --> 00:06:31,503
Ye-a-ah.
Now speaking of
necking.
177
00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:33,270
My manicurist said
that McKay has been seen
178
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:36,220
with a different woman
each day of the week.
179
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:40,000
- Mm-hmm.
- Eight different women?
180
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,320
Yo, he keep that up,
he gonna catch a DVD,
yo.
181
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,500
Hey, yo, pop,
look, I got an idea.
182
00:06:46,830 --> 00:06:47,380
Why don't we catch McKay
with one of these women?
183
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,500
And then take pictures of him.
184
00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:50,150
That way we can blow
his whole campaign
185
00:06:50,183 --> 00:06:51,253
out of the water.
186
00:06:51,283 --> 00:06:53,663
No, son.
187
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:55,100
I don't wanna run
a dirty campaign.
188
00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:58,273
I wanna run it honestly
and with integrity.
189
00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:00,370
Oh, in that case I'll
tell
Tanqueray to go home.
190
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,120
If you do,
you're out of my will.
191
00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,280
Shut up.
192
00:07:04,316 --> 00:07:06,316
Okay, McKay's commercial
is coming on.
193
00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:10,833
[instrumental "Yankee Doodle"]
194
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,300
(male #2 on TV)Councilman Ted McKayhas cut the welfare rolls
195
00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:19,173
filled our potholesand lowered crime.
196
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,180
He's a much honoredthree-term member
197
00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,266
of the New York City Council.
198
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,280
And his opponent Pops Williamsis a fry cook
199
00:07:26,316 --> 00:07:29,326
with a questionablemilitary discharge
200
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,656
and alcohol problem.
201
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:35,830
And a pendingsexual harassment suit.
202
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,160
Who do you want?
203
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:40,250
This man?
204
00:07:40,283 --> 00:07:42,163
Or this man?
205
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,160
Hope you didn't want the fry.
206
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,280
Yi-ta-dee!
207
00:07:47,316 --> 00:07:50,196
Vote McKay.Your man for city council.
208
00:07:50,233 --> 00:07:54,103
No, pop, he's running a
negative
campaign commercial.
209
00:07:54,133 --> 00:07:55,353
This is terrible.
210
00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:58,383
Oh, Lordy Lord, I'm doomed.
I'm doomed.
211
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,330
Tanqueray,
cheer Pops up please.
212
00:08:01,366 --> 00:08:03,116
[beatboxing]
213
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,000
♪ Shake that booty booty booty ♪
214
00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:06,320
♪ Move that booty booty booty ♪
215
00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:08,130
♪ Move it up and move it down ♪
216
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:10,656
♪ Shake it up
shake it to ground ♪
217
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:11,220
♪ Shake it to the ground.. ♪♪
218
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:17,163
[hip hop music]
219
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,100
Oh, there it
is.
There it is.
220
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:25,003
I'm here to answer the, uh,
charges of my opponent.
221
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,180
Specially a sexual
harassment charge.
222
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,126
Starting with you,
you little fine
223
00:08:29,166 --> 00:08:30,296
sweet thing,
pretty legs you've got.
224
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:33,663
- I'd like to curl your
hair.
- Ha-ha.
225
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,660
Mr. Williams,
you need to
address
226
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,380
the questionable
discharge
in the army?
227
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:42,330
Yes. Uh, in the army
I had a questionable
discharge.
228
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:43,250
Well, the whole troop did.
229
00:08:43,283 --> 00:08:46,303
But a shot of penicillin
cleared it right up.
230
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,153
Uh, how do you respond
to the drinking charge?
231
00:08:49,183 --> 00:08:51,283
Yes, I like to had me a
little
taste every now and then.
232
00:08:51,316 --> 00:08:53,326
But we all do.
233
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:55,100
I don't get drunk and get
behind
the wheel of a car.
234
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:57,223
Hell, I used to pass out
before I get to the door.
235
00:08:59,266 --> 00:09:02,096
What about the ptomaine
poisoning incident?
236
00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:04,333
Now that was an accident.
237
00:09:04,366 --> 00:09:06,176
I always turn
my refrigerator off
238
00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:08,826
in the daytime
to conserve energy
239
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:10,176
for this magnificent
town of ours.
240
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,266
That's right.
Eh, pop.
241
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,380
Tell 'em how much water you save
242
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,230
by not washing your pot.
243
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:15,376
Tell 'em.
Come on, pop.
244
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,120
S-s-sh! Shh!
245
00:09:18,150 --> 00:09:21,660
Aren't you afraid of
committing
political suicide
246
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,330
by being so honest?
247
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:24,330
People are tired
248
00:09:24,366 --> 00:09:27,496
of politicians
who lie and cheat.
249
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:28,200
I'm giving them another choice.
250
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:29,303
And that's all I gotta say.
251
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:32,253
Arrivederci,auf wiedersehen, adios
252
00:09:32,283 --> 00:09:33,333
Bye-bye.
253
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:38,180
I'm pretty proud
of Pops, man.
254
00:09:38,216 --> 00:09:40,326
He's handling a clean campaign.
That's good.
255
00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:42,270
He's not getting into a little
gutter fight with McKay.
256
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:45,280
I know, he's
smart,
he's confident.
257
00:09:45,316 --> 00:09:46,996
He's gonna
get his butt
kicked.
258
00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:48,130
Yeah, I know.
259
00:09:48,166 --> 00:09:50,366
You heard him, man, he wants to
run a clean campaign.
260
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,123
That doesn't mean we have to.
261
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,250
- You sure?
- Hah.
262
00:09:58,283 --> 00:10:00,273
Why are we smiling?
263
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,830
Now, lookie here.
I got the polaroid.
264
00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:10,196
Now, Tanqueray, are you
sure
McKay is gonna be here?
265
00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:12,183
Honey, the way he was
coming on to me.
266
00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:15,096
I know he can't wait to
get his hands on some of this.
267
00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:18,353
- Ah-ah, ah-ah..
- Hey-eh..
268
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:23,826
Oh, you should keep
shaking like that,
girl.
269
00:10:23,116 --> 00:10:24,176
Trust me, he'll be here.
270
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:26,156
'Now look,
here's what you gotta do.'
271
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,250
You gotta get him in a
compromising position.
272
00:10:27,283 --> 00:10:29,663
Then we're gonna
take a photo,
alright?
273
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:31,000
- Right, now, uh..
- 'Mmm.'
274
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:32,370
Why don't you get naked
so we can make sure
275
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,830
the lightning is cool in here?
276
00:10:34,116 --> 00:10:35,226
Marlon, will you
cut it out, man?
277
00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:37,276
- Why?
- I mean..
278
00:10:37,316 --> 00:10:39,126
Unless you cool with that.
279
00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:41,116
Ha-ha.
I don't think so.
280
00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:42,200
- Oh, oh.
- We was just checkin'.
281
00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:44,003
Oh, so what's wrong,
we just, you know
282
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:45,150
do, like, a little rehearsal?
283
00:10:45,183 --> 00:10:48,333
We can make believe
I'm, uh...I'm McKay.
284
00:10:48,366 --> 00:10:50,316
And you be you.
285
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,370
(imitating McKay)
Now, come here, brown sugar.
286
00:10:54,216 --> 00:10:55,326
[knocking on door]
287
00:10:55,366 --> 00:10:57,226
Alright, Marlon, that's
him.
Come on, come on.
288
00:10:57,266 --> 00:10:58,996
Thank God.
289
00:11:03,383 --> 00:11:05,133
Just the side!
Side.
290
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:11,330
- Hi!
- Hello there.
291
00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:16,160
I.. I hope I'm not
late,
Tangynika.
292
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,300
- Tanqueray.
- Huh?
293
00:11:18,333 --> 00:11:22,333
- Like...the liquor.
- Oh-oh!
294
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,330
- Let me take your jacket.
- Oh, sure, sure, sure thing.
295
00:11:27,660 --> 00:11:29,150
Huh, nice place you got here.
296
00:11:29,183 --> 00:11:31,333
Make yourself comfortable.
297
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,130
Ooh!
Got anything to drink?
298
00:11:35,166 --> 00:11:37,216
I'm sure I do somewhere.
299
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:40,330
Now if I were a wine bottle,
where would I be?
300
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,326
[McKay sighs]
301
00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:49,153
These your kids?
302
00:11:49,183 --> 00:11:51,203
Uh, no,
those are two boys
303
00:11:51,233 --> 00:11:54,183
I sponsor in Ethiopia.
304
00:11:54,216 --> 00:11:55,276
Damn, they're ugly.
305
00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:09,270
- Why don't I pour, huh?
- Okay.
306
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:12,230
Uh, great.
Oh, good, good, good, good.
307
00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:13,296
Okay.
308
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,203
One for me
309
00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:17,133
and one for you.
310
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,220
- Here we go.
- You look tense.
311
00:12:24,250 --> 00:12:26,200
- Oh-ho.
- Let me loosen you up.
312
00:12:26,233 --> 00:12:29,503
- Have any surprises for me?
- Oh, yeah.
313
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:32,330
- You can't see any of them
yet.
- Uh-oh!
314
00:12:32,660 --> 00:12:34,180
Oh, I got you..
Oh! Yes, yes.
315
00:12:34,216 --> 00:12:37,166
You know, uh, I have been
little naughty today.
316
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,330
I-I probably deserve
a good spanking.
317
00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:40,366
[chuckles]
318
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:45,003
Ooh! Yes! Oh!
319
00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:49,316
Wow! You're fast.
320
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:52,350
Ooh, this is..
Oh, yes, mm-hmm.
321
00:12:52,383 --> 00:12:54,253
- Ah!
- Oh! Yes.
322
00:12:54,283 --> 00:12:57,183
Yes, yes,
I stole my bicycle
323
00:12:57,216 --> 00:13:01,326
and-and I-I wore my
older sister's underpants.
324
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:02,280
Oh, yes. Yes!
325
00:13:02,316 --> 00:13:05,126
Oh, please.
Yes, Tan, Tanqueray
326
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,146
I..
327
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:09,153
[hip hop music]
328
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,180
Pops, can you do me a favor
329
00:13:12,216 --> 00:13:14,366
and please stop worrying
about the debate questions, man?
330
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,220
Once people see these photos
of McKay, he's finished.
331
00:13:17,250 --> 00:13:19,270
I don't wanna
see those
photos.
332
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,350
Maybe this one.
333
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:24,833
Look, I said I'm not
gonna
run a negative
campaign.
334
00:13:24,116 --> 00:13:25,196
So might as well
just get started
335
00:13:25,233 --> 00:13:27,003
practicing these
debate questions
336
00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:29,350
Okay, here we go.
Here's the first question.
337
00:13:29,383 --> 00:13:33,163
What should we do about
hazardous waste dumpings?
338
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:36,220
Well, I used the dump mine
off the Triborough Bridge.
339
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,320
Good answer, pop.
Damn good.
340
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:41,220
Shut up, stupid.
You can't say that.
341
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:43,150
You have to say
something like, uh..
342
00:13:43,183 --> 00:13:46,153
[imitating Pops]
I'll take that useless waste
343
00:13:46,183 --> 00:13:49,503
and I'll grind it up
into fertilizer.
344
00:13:50,316 --> 00:13:53,296
Shawn, it's easier just to
dump it off the bridge.
345
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,103
He's right,
how am I gonna remember
346
00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:56,173
all those answers anyway?
347
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,230
Don't worry about it,
I'll just write it
348
00:13:57,266 --> 00:13:59,156
on the index card, okay?
349
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,100
Now the next question is gonna
be on illegal immigration.
350
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,183
[hip hop music]
351
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,250
Alright, Pops.
352
00:14:07,283 --> 00:14:08,373
- Pop?
- Mm-hmm.
353
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,330
What about the police presence
in the community?
354
00:14:11,366 --> 00:14:14,156
Police never gave me
any presents.
355
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:18,163
Maybe only in
the white neighborhoods.
356
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,120
Pop, just read
the cards, please?
357
00:14:22,830 --> 00:14:25,170
"We should think of them
as our friends not our
enemies.
358
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,660
I won't be happy until I see
one
on every street corner."
359
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:31,660
Okay, good, alright.
Now, here's the last one.
360
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,000
What is your position
on using tax dollars
361
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,160
to restore
the Statue of Liberty?
362
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,160
Oh, gee, son, I have never
been to the Statue of
Liberty.
363
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:39,100
Uh?
364
00:14:39,133 --> 00:14:40,253
Alright.
365
00:14:40,283 --> 00:14:41,373
Don't worry about it, okay?
366
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,200
I wrote a really nice
speech about it
367
00:14:43,233 --> 00:14:45,123
and the voters gonna love you,
all you gotta do
368
00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:47,270
is stick to
the cards, alright?
369
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,320
I can't believe you never been
to the Statue of Liberty.
370
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:53,200
Don't you know that's
the world's tallest
building?
371
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,250
That's where they
shot
"King Kong."
372
00:14:57,283 --> 00:14:59,273
[hip hop music]
373
00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:06,663
Now, pop, you knew you was
gonna be on TV, right?
374
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,270
- Yeah.
- Why you wearin' that suit?
375
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:10,270
You look like a airplane seat.
376
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,320
In case of emergency,
the tacky bow tie
377
00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:14,380
can be used
as a floatation device.
378
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,180
[chuckles]
379
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,196
Oh, what you talking
about?
This is my lucky suit.
380
00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:21,303
I wore this suit
on my first date with your
mama.
381
00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:23,503
- Bang, bang, bang--
- Oh, hey..
382
00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:26,150
- Hey, come on, man?
- Who's daddy now?
383
00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:28,663
Oh, that's ma he talkin'
about.
Uh, my bad.
384
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:29,300
Uh, hey, listen,
now you ready
385
00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,663
to go out there
and put McKay away?
386
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,380
- Oh. I guess so, son.
- Alright.
387
00:15:35,216 --> 00:15:36,266
- Oh-oh.
- What happened?
388
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:38,230
- Oh-oh. Oh-oh.
- What happened?
389
00:15:38,266 --> 00:15:40,496
- What's going on?
- Forgot your gat?
390
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:42,330
I don't know where my..
I don't know where my cards
are.
391
00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:43,130
Did I give 'em to you?
392
00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:44,196
No, you didn't give it to me.
393
00:15:44,233 --> 00:15:46,253
I must have left 'em
on the snack table.
394
00:15:46,283 --> 00:15:48,323
- Boy, go get 'em.
- Alright, no problem.
395
00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:54,146
Hey, there, little dress
big ass, where you going?
396
00:15:54,183 --> 00:15:55,373
Aah!
397
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,370
Calm down.
You're nervous, man.
398
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,000
You're shaking more than
a white rapper at the Apollo.
399
00:16:01,330 --> 00:16:02,660
'Just relax, man.'
400
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,220
Now check it out,
all you gotta do
401
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:04,220
is nail this debate.
402
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,280
And I'm telling you, pop
403
00:16:05,316 --> 00:16:08,346
you're in there,
you are in there, okay?
404
00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:10,233
You can do it.
405
00:16:10,266 --> 00:16:11,326
Come on, froggy.
406
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,320
Oh, here's the cards, pop.
407
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:17,150
- Well, thanks, son.
- Alright.
408
00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:19,123
- Yo, wish me luck, man.
- Good luck, man, good luck.
409
00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:20,320
Do your thing, pop.
410
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:26,223
Mr. Williams,
you won the coin toss.
411
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,170
Uh, by the way,
could I have my coin back?
412
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,230
It was a quarter.
413
00:16:35,116 --> 00:16:37,096
- And we're on the air.
- Oh!
414
00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:39,153
In five, four
415
00:16:39,183 --> 00:16:40,183
three, two..
416
00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:44,826
Welcome to the debate
for city councilman
417
00:16:44,116 --> 00:16:46,496
with our candidates McKay..
418
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:48,323
...and Williams.
419
00:16:48,350 --> 00:16:50,200
Yi-ta-dee!
420
00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:53,833
Mr. Williams
gets the first question.
421
00:16:53,116 --> 00:16:55,226
What would you do
about the large number
422
00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:58,166
of drug dealers in our city?
423
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,180
"We should think of them
as our friends..
424
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,160
"...not our enemies.
425
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:07,170
I won't be happy until I see
one on every street corner."
426
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,500
- Excuse me?
- You mixed up the cards, man.
427
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,120
And, oh, yeah, they don't
make enough money either.
428
00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:16,170
Mr. McKay,
would you like to respond?
429
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,230
Uh, no, I think
I'll let him hang himself.
430
00:17:19,266 --> 00:17:22,116
Uh, spe-speak,
speak for himself.
431
00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:24,120
Mr. Williams,
what should we do
432
00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:26,380
with this city's
homeless people?
433
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,000
"I'd take that useless waste
434
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:31,220
andgrind
into fertilizer."
435
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,180
(female #2)
'Oh.'
436
00:17:34,216 --> 00:17:36,216
Okay, uh, Councilman McKay?
437
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:39,250
Oh, what can I say
I'm flabbergasted.
438
00:17:39,283 --> 00:17:41,183
Stay away from dairy products.
439
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:45,183
Uh, Mr. Williams,
an-and-and please
440
00:17:45,216 --> 00:17:48,246
consider your answer
before you speak.
441
00:17:48,283 --> 00:17:50,323
"Recently the Manhattan Madam
442
00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:53,120
"was indicted on 18 counts
443
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,380
"of prostitution.
444
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:59,200
"Should our law enforcement
be spending so much time
445
00:17:59,233 --> 00:18:01,503
on a victimless crime?"
446
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:03,380
Well, let me tell you
something about her.
447
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,120
"She may be old and weathered.
448
00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:08,270
"But is this how we treat
someone who has greeted tourists
449
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:10,500
and sailors all these years?"
450
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:11,320
He gave the wrong answer,
he gave the answer to
451
00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:13,500
the Statue of Liberty question.
452
00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:14,200
"Tell me there's isn't
a man here
453
00:18:14,233 --> 00:18:16,153
"who hasn't gotten some joy
454
00:18:16,183 --> 00:18:19,833
"by going up into her
and rusty all insides.
455
00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:23,996
"It's one of New York's
truly great bargains.
456
00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:26,330
"Just a few dollars
for a memory
457
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:29,346
that lasts a lifetime."
458
00:18:29,383 --> 00:18:33,203
- Pop, the cards are mixed up.
- Are you sure?
459
00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,303
I thought that was
a good answer.
460
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:36,353
[indistinct chattering]
461
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,330
This man is an imbecile.
462
00:18:39,366 --> 00:18:43,196
Now, wait, just a minute, name
calling is totally unnecessary.
463
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:45,003
Well, from the way
you're dressed
464
00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:46,180
I guess you'd think mirrors
465
00:18:46,216 --> 00:18:48,316
were unnecessary too, huh?
466
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:50,170
Hey, yo, pop,
hey, don't take
that
467
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,330
from Johnny Carson,
strike back.
468
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:54,270
I could come back at you.
469
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,830
When I'm running
a clean campaign.
470
00:18:56,116 --> 00:18:57,326
Oh, well, speaking of clean
471
00:18:57,366 --> 00:19:01,116
why don't you go back
and clean that roach motel
472
00:19:01,150 --> 00:19:02,370
you call a diner.
473
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,830
Hey-hey-hey, pop,
don't let baggy
face
474
00:19:05,116 --> 00:19:07,176
talk about
your roaches like
that.
475
00:19:07,216 --> 00:19:09,226
Hey, it's those two ugly kids
from Ethiopia.
476
00:19:09,266 --> 00:19:11,246
Now, wait just a minute.
477
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:13,373
- Nobody call my boys ugly.
- Yeah.
478
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,330
Oh, really?
Or wh-what are you gonna do?
479
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:17,350
You gonna hit me?
480
00:19:17,383 --> 00:19:19,333
I wouldn't dirty my hand.
481
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:22,996
Shawn, Marlon,
show everybody the pictures.
482
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:25,170
Gladly.
483
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,320
Bam! You see that thing,
huh?
You see that?
484
00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:30,170
Yeah, look at
that.
Look at that.
485
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,330
- Bam!
- What the..
486
00:19:31,366 --> 00:19:33,266
Yeah, what the..
That's you, see.
487
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:37,350
(Marlon)
'Oh, mommy, spank me,
as I stole the bicycle,
yeah.'
488
00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,133
Look at that, that's me, you.
489
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,196
And that's my nipple
right there
490
00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:42,833
You see, you're caught now.
491
00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:44,126
Now, Ross Perot
492
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,366
what do you think
of those photos?
493
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,150
Look, I don't
have to stand
here
494
00:19:47,183 --> 00:19:50,153
and take these
lies
from you people.
495
00:19:50,183 --> 00:19:52,333
As Abraham Lincoln once said
496
00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:53,320
"You can fool some of
the people some of the
time
497
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:56,280
but you can't fool all
of the people all of the
time."
498
00:19:56,316 --> 00:20:00,096
Yeah, shut up,
as George Jefferson once
said
499
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,323
"Screw you, honky!"
500
00:20:03,316 --> 00:20:05,496
[babbling]
501
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:09,496
[laughing]
502
00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:12,660
Yeah, pop. Way to go.
Way to go..
503
00:20:13,830 --> 00:20:14,380
[indistinct chattering]
504
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,000
[hip hop music]
505
00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:20,376
Hey!
506
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,380
I just came
from party headquarters.
507
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,200
It's a landslide.
508
00:20:25,233 --> 00:20:28,833
[screaming]
509
00:20:28,116 --> 00:20:30,116
♪ I'm the new city councilman ♪
510
00:20:30,150 --> 00:20:32,270
♪ I'm the new city councilman ♪
511
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:34,220
♪ He's the new city
councilman ♪♪
512
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:36,500
- [indistinct].
- Pops?
513
00:20:36,830 --> 00:20:38,500
- 'Huh?'
- You lost.
514
00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:40,500
I demand a recount.
A recount.
515
00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:41,270
Pops, give it up.
516
00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:44,250
Oh, man.
I guess it's my
fault.
517
00:20:44,283 --> 00:20:46,303
Told him not to
wear
the white shoes.
518
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,223
I tried to run a clean
campaign,
but I ended up
519
00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:51,830
just as sleazy and low-down
as the rest of them.
520
00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:53,196
I should have
never shown those pictures.
521
00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:56,183
All the exit poll said that
everybody voted for him
522
00:20:56,216 --> 00:20:58,126
because of the, uh, photos.
523
00:20:58,166 --> 00:21:00,196
- What?
- 'Yeah.'
524
00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:03,833
They said looking at McKay
messing with that stripper
525
00:21:03,116 --> 00:21:05,146
made him look presidential.
526
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,270
Well, how many votes
did I get anyway?
527
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:12,180
Three.
528
00:21:12,216 --> 00:21:13,366
Three?
529
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,150
Wait a minute
there's four of us.
530
00:21:16,183 --> 00:21:19,123
- 'Oh!'
- Marlon, did you vote?
531
00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:22,266
Yeah.
But I voted for McKay.
532
00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:24,000
[Dee gasping]
533
00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:25,100
Why did you do that?
534
00:21:25,133 --> 00:21:27,003
Negro, I saw the debate.
535
00:21:28,216 --> 00:21:31,196
How many, how many of you vote
that I whip his ass?
536
00:21:31,233 --> 00:21:33,223
- Yeah.
- Wait, hold on, hold it.
537
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,280
- Get him, pop.
- Tanqueray!
538
00:21:35,316 --> 00:21:36,296
- 'Huh?'
- O-o-oh.
539
00:21:36,333 --> 00:21:39,833
Cheer pops up.
Cheer pops up.
540
00:21:39,116 --> 00:21:40,996
♪ Pop that booty booty booty ♪
541
00:21:41,330 --> 00:21:42,250
♪ Pop that booty booty booty ♪
542
00:21:42,283 --> 00:21:44,123
♪ Pop that booty booty booty ♪
543
00:21:44,150 --> 00:21:45,350
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
544
00:21:45,383 --> 00:21:47,233
♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
545
00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:49,656
♪ Beat that ta ta ta ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
546
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:50,330
♪ Come low low low low ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
547
00:21:50,366 --> 00:21:52,226
♪ Bring that booty na na na ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
548
00:21:52,266 --> 00:21:54,126
♪ Move it on up
and hit the ground ♪
549
00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:55,346
♪ Booty booty booty booty ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
550
00:21:55,383 --> 00:21:57,223
♪ You're so cutie cutie cutie ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
551
00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:59,830
♪ Bang bang bang pop pop ♪
♪ Ooh ♪♪
40028
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