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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:03,346 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:09,123 What's with the suit? 3 00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:11,180 You got a "Men In Black" audition? 4 00:00:14,150 --> 00:00:15,370 Ha-ha-ha! 5 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:21,230 No, actually, I'm wearin' this for my big job interview 6 00:00:21,266 --> 00:00:23,146 today with Campbell Limited. 7 00:00:23,183 --> 00:00:24,273 Oh, Campbell's? 8 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:26,230 Shawn, I love their alphabet soup. 9 00:00:26,266 --> 00:00:28,276 It's my favorite. 10 00:00:28,316 --> 00:00:31,216 I like spellin' dirty words with it. 11 00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:32,330 It's not that Campbell. 12 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,156 This place does high-tech government research. 13 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,170 - Ew! - I'm not doing any research. 14 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,120 I'm just tryin' to get a job in marketin'. 15 00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,220 Oh, well, if you're gonna be doing some marketin' 16 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:44,220 pick me up some more chips and some soda. 17 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,270 'Cause I'mma be runnin' a little low in a minute. 18 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:47,380 Thank you, baby. 19 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:49,660 Yo, man, what's with all the snacks? 20 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,280 You got the munchies or something? 21 00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:52,376 No, well, you better recognize 22 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,000 it's "Good Times" weekend on cable. 23 00:00:56,330 --> 00:00:57,270 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 24 00:00:57,300 --> 00:01:00,120 Oh, my God, why didn't you tell me that. That's this week? 25 00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:02,160 Marlon, that was our favorite show, man. 26 00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:03,300 Remember we used to watch it when we was kids 27 00:01:03,333 --> 00:01:05,323 remember the mother, she was real dramatic with no neck? 28 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:07,380 O-oh, James. 29 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,180 [laughs] Yeah, I love that show. 30 00:01:10,216 --> 00:01:13,346 You know...don't forget the best part of the show. 31 00:01:13,383 --> 00:01:15,323 (both) Thelma's booty. 32 00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:16,320 Paw! 33 00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:18,150 [theme song] 34 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,220 ♪ We're brothers ♪ 35 00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:23,120 ♪ We're happy and we're singin' ♪ 36 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,160 ♪ And we're colored ♪ 37 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,200 ♪ Give me a high five ♪♪ 38 00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:30,003 (male #1) 'Alright. Cut and print.' 39 00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:31,280 'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.' 40 00:01:31,316 --> 00:01:34,226 [theme music] 41 00:01:58,150 --> 00:01:59,330 [instrumental music] 42 00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:05,370 Ouch! 43 00:02:07,330 --> 00:02:09,330 Marlon, have you seen Shawn? 44 00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:12,150 He's upstairs on the 16th floor 45 00:02:12,183 --> 00:02:14,353 interview at Campbell's Limited or something. 46 00:02:14,383 --> 00:02:17,163 Campbell's! Whoo! That's my favorite. 47 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,150 I like to spell dirty words in their soup. 48 00:02:19,183 --> 00:02:20,283 Not that Campbell's, pop. 49 00:02:20,316 --> 00:02:22,326 It's some place that does 50 00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:23,230 high-tech government research. 51 00:02:23,266 --> 00:02:25,496 Ooh, that's my boy. 52 00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:29,160 Always tryin' to get over, so he can make that paper! 53 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:31,830 This is his fourth interview this month, huh? 54 00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:34,266 Yeah, Dee, he gettin' turned down more than you. 55 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:37,150 Hey, but you know what they say, if at first you don't succeed 56 00:02:37,183 --> 00:02:40,223 you gotta try, try, try again. 57 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:41,280 Ouch! 58 00:02:41,316 --> 00:02:42,376 That's what you tell losers 59 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,330 so they won't kill themselves. 60 00:02:46,830 --> 00:02:48,230 - What's up, ya'll! - Hey! 61 00:02:48,266 --> 00:02:49,326 - 'Hey, yo, guess what, pop?' - What? 62 00:02:49,366 --> 00:02:51,156 I got that job. 63 00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:52,330 - Oh, what? - Wow! 64 00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:53,330 I knew it, I knew it. 65 00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:54,170 It's like I always said, son. 66 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,500 If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. 67 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,660 Oh, man, that's good, man. You got the job? 68 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,150 They're gonna pay you good money? 69 00:03:01,183 --> 00:03:03,163 - Great money. - Oh, really? 70 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:04,120 Happy for your success, man. 71 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,220 - Keep doin' that. - 'Oh, stop.' 72 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:06,320 - 'Stop it!' - Ow! 73 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,330 Stop! Stop it! 74 00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:09,220 Keep makin' your money! Keep makin' your money! 75 00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:10,320 Congratulations. 76 00:03:10,350 --> 00:03:12,000 Yeah, Dee, yeah. 77 00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,170 Tell us about the interview, son. 78 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,370 Oh, my God, pop, I ripped it. 79 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,150 I sold myself so well that they didn't even have 80 00:03:16,183 --> 00:03:17,253 to look at my resume. 81 00:03:17,283 --> 00:03:19,133 - 'Mm!' - What about the newsstand? 82 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,266 Oh, I'mma still keep that. 83 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,380 The only reason I'm taking this job 84 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,330 so I can find out how, like 85 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:24,230 the big corporations operate. 86 00:03:24,266 --> 00:03:26,166 Oh, well, then this is perfect for you. 87 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,170 Hey, well, you know what that means. 88 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,180 I'mma be runnin' the newsstand. 89 00:03:30,216 --> 00:03:32,196 - I'll be my own boss. - Yeah. 90 00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:33,373 Make my own hours. 91 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,230 I'mma give myself a raise. 92 00:03:35,266 --> 00:03:37,166 [laughing] 93 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,500 And this is the bullpen, Shawn. 94 00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:46,250 The heart of our operation. 95 00:03:46,283 --> 00:03:49,003 Ooh, yeah, this is sweet. 96 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,280 Ooh, two computers! 97 00:03:50,316 --> 00:03:52,326 Yeah, your desk is over here. 98 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,380 I guess supplies hasn't gotten around 99 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:58,270 to give me a terminal, yet, huh? 100 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:01,170 Everything you need is right here. 101 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,220 Oh, man, there's a lot of reading. 102 00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:06,160 But I guess that's why you guys hired me over everybody else. 103 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,380 Slow down, tiger. You don't have to read those. 104 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,100 You're gonna punch holes in 'em. 105 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,120 Don't get me wrong, but you know they do 106 00:04:16,150 --> 00:04:18,500 sell three-hole punched paper. 107 00:04:18,830 --> 00:04:19,150 I can go to the drug store and get some-- 108 00:04:19,183 --> 00:04:20,283 Oh, now, don't worry, Williams. 109 00:04:20,316 --> 00:04:22,316 A week from now, you'll have a whole lot 110 00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:24,350 more important things to do. 111 00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:35,326 [telephone ringing] 112 00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:38,276 Hello, Shawn Williams speakin'. 113 00:04:38,316 --> 00:04:40,996 Hey, Mr. Morton, how's it goin'? 114 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,220 Oh. 115 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,830 Yeah, sure, I'll.. 116 00:04:45,116 --> 00:04:47,116 ...I'll check for you. 117 00:04:57,383 --> 00:05:00,303 Yeah, the hot dog man's standing outside. 118 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,283 Just the man I'm looking for. 119 00:05:11,316 --> 00:05:14,176 Williams, I wanted to personally give you your first paycheck 120 00:05:14,216 --> 00:05:16,296 and tell you what a wonderful job you're doing. 121 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,180 Oh, yeah, yeah. 122 00:05:20,216 --> 00:05:22,496 Nice and sharp. 123 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:24,330 Hey, yo, Mr. Morton. 124 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,216 Can I talk to you for a second? 125 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,150 Um, I've been workin' here for about a week now, and, uh.. 126 00:05:29,183 --> 00:05:31,353 You know, all I've doin' is sharpenin' 'em pencils 127 00:05:31,383 --> 00:05:34,333 and, uh, punchin' holes in paper. 128 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:35,230 Not that there's somethin' wrong with it. 129 00:05:35,266 --> 00:05:37,656 You know, my forearms are gettin' mad buff. 130 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,160 You know, feel my handshake. Strong, huh? 131 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:41,120 It's just that, you know, I was hopin' to get 132 00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,330 like a bigger assignment, you know. 133 00:05:42,366 --> 00:05:44,276 That's what I like about you, Shawn. 134 00:05:44,316 --> 00:05:46,116 Your "Go, get 'em attitude." 135 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:48,130 You're gonna go far. 136 00:05:55,116 --> 00:05:57,346 - 'Hi, son.' - What's up, pop? 137 00:05:57,383 --> 00:05:59,173 - What's the deal, Shawn? - What's the matter, son? 138 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,150 They cheated you on your first check? 139 00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:04,153 No, just the opposite. They paid me too much. 140 00:06:04,183 --> 00:06:07,333 Shh, hurry up and cash it before they catch on. 141 00:06:09,830 --> 00:06:11,330 You know what, they didn't overpay me 142 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:12,300 it's just, I feel like I didn't earn it 143 00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:14,283 because all I've been doin' is sharpenin' 'em pencils 144 00:06:14,316 --> 00:06:16,246 and lickin' envelopes. 145 00:06:16,283 --> 00:06:17,383 Damn! 146 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,200 Well, a-as your brother 147 00:06:19,233 --> 00:06:22,333 I'll be more than happy to a-leave you of this burden. 148 00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:24,246 - Ooh! - Okay. 149 00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:28,233 All of this for one week of work? 150 00:06:28,266 --> 00:06:31,096 You sure envelopes is all you lickin'? 151 00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:35,230 Lemme see that. 152 00:06:35,266 --> 00:06:38,326 Ooh-ooh! 153 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:39,200 With money like this you can get you some 154 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,303 Ill Na Na from Foxy Brown. 155 00:06:47,330 --> 00:06:48,280 I don't understand it, pop. 156 00:06:48,316 --> 00:06:51,146 I've been workin' there a week and I haven't done anything yet. 157 00:06:51,183 --> 00:06:53,833 That's like the perfect job for me. 158 00:06:53,116 --> 00:06:54,996 Son, why they givin' you all this grunt work? 159 00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:57,130 Yeah, you're too smart for this. 160 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:58,366 Maybe Mr. Morton don't think I'm smart enough 161 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,660 to handle any other work. 162 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,300 Oh! Don't you go believin' that now. 163 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:04,133 'Cause we all know how smart and responsible you are. 164 00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:06,656 That's right, and smartness 165 00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,270 and responsiblitiness 166 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,300 runs in our family. 167 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,383 And you're gonna prove yourself to Mr. Morton. 168 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,330 How? 169 00:07:13,660 --> 00:07:14,170 I already tried to get a bigger assignment 170 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,350 from Mr. Morton and he peace me out. 171 00:07:15,383 --> 00:07:18,353 By showin' him what all bosses love to see. 172 00:07:18,383 --> 00:07:20,163 Yeah, Shawn. 173 00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,320 Show him your breasts. 174 00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:25,000 No, Marlon. 175 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:27,180 - Not breasts, initiative. - That's true. 176 00:07:27,216 --> 00:07:30,126 Uh-uh. Now, one mornin' I came early 177 00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:33,826 and I caught somebody stealin' toilet paper. 178 00:07:33,116 --> 00:07:34,996 Baby, I slammed him to the floor 179 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,200 and knocked him over the head with my flashlight. 180 00:07:37,233 --> 00:07:39,833 I got a promotion. 181 00:07:39,116 --> 00:07:42,156 And I got a concussion. 182 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,170 Well, nobody told you to steal no toilet paper. 183 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,330 But if you had kept your mouth shut 184 00:07:45,366 --> 00:07:47,326 I was gonna give you half of it. 185 00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:48,330 [indistinct shouting] 186 00:07:48,366 --> 00:07:50,376 [shouts] What's the point? 187 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,350 The point is.. 188 00:07:54,383 --> 00:07:57,223 ..if you do something that is never expected of you.. 189 00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,280 ...you will impress him. 190 00:07:59,316 --> 00:08:01,146 I got it, Mr. Morton's secretary 191 00:08:01,183 --> 00:08:02,353 got these files on her desk. 192 00:08:02,383 --> 00:08:05,223 I could take those and cross reference 'em into the computer. 193 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,150 And that way he'll know I have some other skills. 194 00:08:07,183 --> 00:08:08,183 - Yeah. - You got it. 195 00:08:08,216 --> 00:08:09,376 Go on, baby. Go on, go on. 196 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,280 Why don't you get up early Monday mornin' and do it? 197 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,346 Why wait till Monday? I'mma go do it now. 198 00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:15,833 Alright. Alright. 199 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,500 I'm bored, man. 200 00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:23,100 Why don't you go xerox your butt? 201 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,220 That's stupid. 202 00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:31,330 I did that already. 203 00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:37,500 As you can see, it's my good side. 204 00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:39,246 Ew! 205 00:08:39,283 --> 00:08:42,283 Here, take these highlighters and go color your butt in. 206 00:08:43,383 --> 00:08:45,133 Hmm, thanks, Shawn. 207 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,270 Shawn.. 208 00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:05,330 Shawn, you might wanna take a look at this. 209 00:09:05,366 --> 00:09:08,656 Marlon, I already seen you color before, you suck. 210 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,300 You should really take a look at this here. 211 00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:10,373 - Tsk! - Check it out. 212 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,160 [sighs] 213 00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:17,123 "After finally hiring an African-American employee 214 00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:20,330 "Shawn Williams, Campbell Limited has met 215 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,270 "its minimum requirement of minority workers 216 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,130 to qualify for government contract." 217 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,350 I'm just a token. 218 00:09:29,383 --> 00:09:32,323 [instrumental music] 219 00:09:38,150 --> 00:09:40,380 You know what, pop? It all makes sense to me now. 220 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:44,660 All the little stupid errands, the sharpenin' the pencils. 221 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,220 You know, he would've hired anybody 222 00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,380 as long as he was a brother. 223 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,380 You should quit and keep your dignity. 224 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,330 Well, for once I agree with your father. 225 00:09:51,366 --> 00:09:54,996 - It's about time. - Shut up. 226 00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:57,100 You're too intelligent, responsible and strong 227 00:09:57,133 --> 00:09:59,153 'to go through that nonsense, baby.' 228 00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:01,173 I know, grandma, but if I quit, all they're gonna do 229 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,270 is hire another brother, and still get the contract. 230 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,180 So what're you gonna do, swallow your pride 231 00:10:05,216 --> 00:10:07,176 and make their paper punchin' holes? 232 00:10:07,216 --> 00:10:09,196 Who punched a ho? 233 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,150 Man, people punchin' hoes now! 234 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,320 This violence gotta stop, man. 235 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,280 Hoes is people too. 236 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:25,660 Shawn.. 237 00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,370 ...the days of us having to settle 238 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,180 for what they give us is over. 239 00:10:29,216 --> 00:10:31,276 Hey, uh, calm down, Angela Davis. 240 00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:36,100 What are you knittin', a black Paolo skirt? 241 00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:39,303 - Listen, grandma.. - Marlon, this is serious! 242 00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:42,003 Grandma, I am serious! 243 00:10:44,283 --> 00:10:47,503 Look, if they're gonna use me, use 'em back. 244 00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:49,350 It's a eye for a cockeyed. 245 00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:52,153 A tooth for a gold tooth. Okay? 246 00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,280 This decision can affect your character 247 00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:56,366 for the rest of your life. 248 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,150 It's not a easy choice to make. 249 00:10:58,183 --> 00:11:00,223 Yeah, Shawn, let me tell you somethin'. 250 00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:03,160 That money, that money is evil. 251 00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,330 And if you spend it, you're gonna hate yourself. 252 00:11:05,366 --> 00:11:08,496 So give it to me. 253 00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,180 Marlon, your brother's goin' through a difficult situation 254 00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:12,196 and the only thing you can do is think of yourself! 255 00:11:12,233 --> 00:11:14,003 You're still gonna lend me that 50, right? 256 00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,230 Hey! 257 00:11:15,266 --> 00:11:17,296 Get away from my baby! 258 00:11:17,333 --> 00:11:19,323 He don't need you two hoverin' over his wallet. 259 00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:21,330 Hey, woman, just let my arm go. 260 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:23,100 - You don't know me, I'm crazy! - Yeah? 261 00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:26,116 All you can do is get knocked out around here. 262 00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:29,830 What's wrong with you? You better take your field. 263 00:11:29,116 --> 00:11:31,126 - You better shut up! - Take this woman off me.. 264 00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:33,226 - Knock her.. Knock her out! - Pop, stop! 265 00:11:33,266 --> 00:11:35,176 You gotta stop, don't give me a headache, man. 266 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,246 Yo, take that outside, pop. 267 00:11:36,283 --> 00:11:37,373 - Okay, baby. - Come on. 268 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,220 We'll call you later and check on you. 269 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:41,300 Yeah, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. 270 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:49,660 Man! Hey, look, man. 271 00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,320 So you sure you don't wanna go roll with me? 272 00:11:50,350 --> 00:11:52,100 You know, I got these two girls waitin'. 273 00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:54,163 No, kid, I'mma just chill right here. 274 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:55,380 I-I got a headache and I gotta think about some things. 275 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,120 I'm just gonna sit back and watch the "Good Times" marathon. 276 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,270 Oh, you better take that from me 277 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,180 'cause I got this date with Sania. 278 00:12:01,216 --> 00:12:03,346 Man, Shawn, she's lookin' good, man. 279 00:12:03,383 --> 00:12:04,383 I'm tellin' you. 280 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,250 Saved up enough money.. 281 00:12:06,283 --> 00:12:08,373 ...now she got her second implant put in. 282 00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:11,270 Paw! 283 00:12:13,330 --> 00:12:14,500 You go knock yourself out. 284 00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:15,150 - Yeah, yeah. - Have a ball! 285 00:12:15,183 --> 00:12:17,333 And you noticed. 286 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:24,380 ["Good Times" theme on TV] 287 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,150 ♪ Good Times ♪ 288 00:12:28,183 --> 00:12:32,003 ♪ Good times ♪ 289 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,250 [singing continues] 290 00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:40,116 - Hey, Thelma. - Hey, Michael. 291 00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:51,176 Look here, Thelma. 292 00:12:51,216 --> 00:12:52,366 You've been stirrin' that Kool-Aid 293 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,230 for three hours now, girl. 294 00:12:54,266 --> 00:12:56,326 Hurry up. I'm thirsty. 295 00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:59,160 It'll be ready in a minute, tall, dark and scrawny. 296 00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:00,170 Tall, dark and scrawny? 297 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,330 Go on, get on out of here, you old apple punk 298 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,266 baby hair face! 299 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:07,160 Get on. Get on gone. 300 00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:12,323 Hey, you reached here stirrin' that Kool-Aid? 301 00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,000 It's not my fault, daddy. 302 00:13:14,330 --> 00:13:15,830 You know it takes a long time for that 303 00:13:15,116 --> 00:13:17,266 free government sugar to dissolve. 304 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,100 - Say, JJ.. - Hey, Michael. 305 00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:22,333 Hey, JJ, you know that government's sugar 306 00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:24,220 is all a part of the man's conspiracy to rot our teeth? 307 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,350 So this way, when it's time for a revolution 308 00:13:26,383 --> 00:13:29,833 we can't fight, because our teeth hurt. 309 00:13:30,316 --> 00:13:32,366 Where do you get that nonsense, boy. 310 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,000 Daddy, boy is a white racist word. 311 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:40,163 Don't you know I'll whip your behind? 312 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:42,320 See, that's a slaves mentality there. 313 00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:44,830 [knock on door] 314 00:13:44,116 --> 00:13:46,276 - I'll get it. I'll get it. - I got it. I got it. 315 00:13:46,316 --> 00:13:48,146 - I got it! - Junior! 316 00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:50,353 Dad's gettin' the door. 317 00:13:50,383 --> 00:13:53,003 (Pops) Hold on, I'm comin'. 318 00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:58,173 Hope you've come here to fix that hole in the wall. 319 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,500 Last night a no-neck monster with a short afro 320 00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:02,280 was in my bedroom! 321 00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:09,830 James, you knew that was me. 322 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,326 No, I didn't come to fix the hole. 323 00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:12,300 I heard the stirrin' of Kool-Aid. 324 00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:14,173 And I figured I'd stop in for a taste. 325 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,300 How about I give your backside a taste of my boot? 326 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,333 Hey, I'll fix it right now. 327 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:25,660 James, you have to learn to control your temper. 328 00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:27,370 Don't tell me about controllin' my temper! 329 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,320 I just got fired for the blasted fifth time this month! 330 00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:32,380 [thuds] 331 00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:37,383 Daddy, I think you got high blood pressure. 332 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,330 And you know hypertension is the number two killer 333 00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:42,500 of all Afro-American men in America? 334 00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,200 What's the number one killer, Michael? 335 00:14:44,233 --> 00:14:47,173 East coast west coast beef. 336 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,000 Don't worry, daddy, now that you got your GED 337 00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:51,120 you'll get a better job. 338 00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,220 [telephone ringing] 339 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,250 - Oh, I got it. - Get off the damn.. 340 00:14:54,283 --> 00:14:56,333 [grunting] 341 00:14:56,366 --> 00:15:00,826 Oh, get off the damn phone! 342 00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:03,116 Get on out of here, mole head face! 343 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,320 Chello! Casanova of the ghetto speakin'. 344 00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:14,330 Yes, this is the-the Evans' residence. 345 00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:17,226 Uh-huh. Michael! 346 00:15:17,266 --> 00:15:18,296 Uh! 347 00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:19,333 Uh-huh. 348 00:15:19,366 --> 00:15:21,196 Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh! 349 00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:25,000 Dad! 350 00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:26,130 That was the car wash. 351 00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:27,326 Mr. Thomas called 352 00:15:27,366 --> 00:15:30,156 and said, you're fired. 353 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,200 - Dad! - Dad! 354 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,283 Wait a minute. 355 00:15:35,316 --> 00:15:37,366 They already fired me this morning. 356 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,250 They said they were just makin' sure. 357 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,130 Hi, y'all! 358 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:49,203 Willona, I told you about comin' here like that 359 00:15:49,233 --> 00:15:51,003 I'mma bust a cap in your ass. 360 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:52,250 I'm sorry, dear, but I had to come out here 361 00:15:52,283 --> 00:15:54,333 and tell Florida news! 362 00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:56,196 Willona, what is it? 363 00:15:56,233 --> 00:16:00,163 Honey, the supermarket has finally put pork rinds on sale. 364 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,180 [all cheering] 365 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,280 - JJ. - Pork rind. 366 00:16:06,316 --> 00:16:10,176 JJ, I can't believe I'm ashamed of y'all. 367 00:16:10,216 --> 00:16:12,116 I can't believe I'm part of this family. 368 00:16:12,150 --> 00:16:15,350 Look at y'all actin' like simple Negros over some pork. 369 00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:18,503 JJ, do you know the man is settin' us up? 370 00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:20,350 - How is he settin' us up? - Yeah, Michael? 371 00:16:20,383 --> 00:16:22,303 Thelma, the man knows pork 372 00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:26,333 is high in cholesterol which causes strokes. 373 00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:28,160 And, daddy, he puts it on sale 374 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,000 so that poor people can buy. 375 00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:32,220 And, mama, after a few years 376 00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,330 when we find your neck 377 00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:35,116 'you're gonna die of a heart attack' 378 00:16:35,150 --> 00:16:37,250 and the man will turn the projects into condos 379 00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:40,103 for him and his little pink children who live here. 380 00:16:41,183 --> 00:16:42,383 Oh, Michael. 381 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,120 Between you and JJ, your family is bound 382 00:16:45,150 --> 00:16:47,170 to move out of the projects. 383 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,220 I know. 384 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,370 Once they accept the Vincent van Gogh 385 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,200 of the ghetto into art college 386 00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:55,373 and I put that money together 387 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000 with the Chicken Shack check 388 00:16:58,330 --> 00:17:00,170 I'mma get us all out of the project. 389 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,320 I hope you're right, JJ. 390 00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:03,200 'cause I'm tired of these roaches. 391 00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:07,333 Oh, don't worry about that, old gorilla face. 392 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:08,320 Once I sell this paintin' right here 393 00:17:08,350 --> 00:17:10,280 there's no way they could turn me down. 394 00:17:10,316 --> 00:17:14,216 I call this one, "The Ghetto Olympics." 395 00:17:16,830 --> 00:17:17,230 [telephone ringing] 396 00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:19,196 - Hey, I got it, JJ. - I got it! 397 00:17:19,233 --> 00:17:21,273 [indistinct shouting] 398 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,330 Get off the phone, get out of here. 399 00:17:23,366 --> 00:17:26,316 Godzilla meets Mothra face! 400 00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:28,350 Get on out of here, girl. 401 00:17:28,383 --> 00:17:32,183 Get on, eh, get out of here, Michael. 402 00:17:32,216 --> 00:17:36,146 Chello. Casanova of the ghetto speakin'. 403 00:17:36,183 --> 00:17:41,123 Oh, hey, Mr. White from the Art Institute and Design. 404 00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:43,830 - Oh! - Oh! 405 00:17:43,116 --> 00:17:44,216 Shh! 406 00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,270 Get on out of here! 407 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,350 Now, just get off! Come on. 408 00:17:46,383 --> 00:17:48,503 Why can't his name be Mr. Black? 409 00:17:48,830 --> 00:17:49,170 (Shawn) 'Get on out of here!' 410 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,320 Why can't his name be Mr. Black? 411 00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:52,280 Why can't his name be Mr. Black? 412 00:17:52,316 --> 00:17:54,246 Yeah. Uh-huh. 413 00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:55,353 Uh-huh! 414 00:17:55,383 --> 00:17:57,233 Thank you very much. 415 00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:00,330 What's the matter, JJ? 416 00:18:00,366 --> 00:18:02,176 Did the art school turn you down? 417 00:18:02,216 --> 00:18:04,116 Damn! Damn! 418 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,830 [screaming] Damn! 419 00:18:06,116 --> 00:18:07,316 Damn, ma! 420 00:18:09,233 --> 00:18:11,353 No, I got accepted, Thelma. 421 00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,656 What's the matter, JJ? 422 00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,130 Yeah, JJ, why are you sittin' there lookin' like 423 00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:19,316 that deaf kid that fell down the elevator shaft? 424 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,176 Boy, you better hurry up and tell me what's wrong. 425 00:18:23,216 --> 00:18:26,146 Yeah, JJ, is the man up to his tricks again? 426 00:18:29,166 --> 00:18:32,126 Let me explain somethin' to you, my little militant midget. 427 00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:37,126 After the last interview, they told me that 428 00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,226 they needed to see my art work. 429 00:18:39,266 --> 00:18:41,656 Now, they call me and tell me 430 00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:45,000 that I'm accepted without even lookin' at my portfolio. 431 00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:46,370 Well, maybe they heard how good you were. 432 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,830 (all) Yeah. 433 00:18:48,116 --> 00:18:50,656 [indistinct chatter] 434 00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:51,350 Nah, little sis. 435 00:18:51,383 --> 00:18:53,283 Maybe they heard how black I am. 436 00:18:53,316 --> 00:18:55,496 (all) Ooh! 437 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:56,200 So what? 438 00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:58,253 What's important is that you got in. 439 00:18:58,283 --> 00:19:00,233 I hear they got a good cafeteria. 440 00:19:00,266 --> 00:19:02,156 Sorry, buffalo-butt 441 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,350 but I want to be accepted 'cause of the colors on my canvas 442 00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:06,203 and not the colors of my skin. 443 00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:07,273 Amen! 444 00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,100 Preach on, brother. 445 00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:11,503 JJ.. 446 00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:13,830 ...whatever you decide to do.. 447 00:19:13,116 --> 00:19:17,216 ...remember, try to make a difference. 448 00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:20,230 And, Junior, if you decide to go to that art school 449 00:19:20,266 --> 00:19:23,826 remember, every stroke you paint 450 00:19:23,116 --> 00:19:25,826 is a stroke for freedom. 451 00:19:25,116 --> 00:19:26,316 Speakin' of strokes.. 452 00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:28,120 ...who wants pork rinds? 453 00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:30,330 Hey! Someone say pork rinds? 454 00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:33,326 [all cheering] 455 00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:34,230 Hey, hey, everybody! 456 00:19:34,266 --> 00:19:36,096 Hey, everybody! 457 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:39,163 It doesn't matter if I'm black or white.. 458 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:40,100 ...I'mma make a difference 459 00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:44,003 'cause I'm King Don Omar! 460 00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,230 ♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪ 461 00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:53,223 ♪ Good times ♪♪ 462 00:19:56,216 --> 00:19:58,326 That's it. 463 00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:00,000 That's it. I got it. 464 00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:01,150 I'll make a difference. 465 00:20:04,283 --> 00:20:06,303 Get security in here right away. 466 00:20:08,183 --> 00:20:09,303 Mr. Morton, I need to talk to you. 467 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,383 I'm too busy right now. 468 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,100 Somebody threw out all my papers 469 00:20:12,133 --> 00:20:14,153 and I can't find any of my documents. 470 00:20:19,830 --> 00:20:20,170 Here they are. 471 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,320 And if you wanna see the master list 472 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:23,500 just hit this key. 473 00:20:23,830 --> 00:20:24,500 You did that, Williams? 474 00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:25,150 Yeah, I did that. 475 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:26,373 I'm not only good for punching holes 476 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,120 I can punch a keyboard too. 477 00:20:28,150 --> 00:20:29,220 I see that. 478 00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:31,500 Yeah, well, if you would've looked at my resume 479 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,000 half as long as you looked at the color of my skin 480 00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:34,250 you'd have known that. 481 00:20:34,283 --> 00:20:36,253 And just what are you implying, Mr. Williams? 482 00:20:36,283 --> 00:20:38,173 Hey, cut it out, look, stop, alright? 483 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,350 Don't even try. 484 00:20:39,383 --> 00:20:41,323 I know all about the contracts. 485 00:20:41,350 --> 00:20:43,500 You wouldn't even give a brother a shot 486 00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:44,170 even if he was qualified. 487 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,380 Look, Williams, you shouldn't 488 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,230 have broken into my computer. 489 00:20:47,266 --> 00:20:49,246 You'll be lucky if I don't press charges. 490 00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:51,353 Learn the rules first, then you can play with the big dogs. 491 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,170 I thought the rules were supposed 492 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,370 to be fair for everybody. 493 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,120 Alright, so we hired you 494 00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:57,300 to qualify for a contract. 495 00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,203 You got an easy thing here. Why rock the boat? 496 00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:01,203 Because if I don't rock the boat nothing's gonna change. 497 00:21:01,233 --> 00:21:04,003 Oh, now, relax, Williams, we can work this out. 498 00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:05,280 No, peace out. 499 00:21:05,316 --> 00:21:07,216 I'm outta here. 500 00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:09,220 I came here for experience, but not this kind. 501 00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:10,330 Well, have it your way. 502 00:21:10,366 --> 00:21:13,296 All I gotta do is hire somebody else. 503 00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:15,133 You know what drives me crazy? 504 00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:18,226 It's that every single week you guys receive a ton 505 00:21:18,266 --> 00:21:20,376 a ton of resumes from qualified minorities. 506 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,220 Anyone of those people could do a good job here for you. 507 00:21:23,250 --> 00:21:25,100 You're way out of line here, Williams. 508 00:21:25,133 --> 00:21:26,333 Why? Because I'm right? 509 00:21:26,366 --> 00:21:28,126 You don't dictate to me. 510 00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:29,346 Now, excuse me, I gotta hire somebody 511 00:21:29,383 --> 00:21:32,223 to replace you so I can qualify for that contract. 512 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,830 You know what, I knew a little weasel 513 00:21:34,116 --> 00:21:36,126 like you would say something like that. 514 00:21:36,166 --> 00:21:38,376 And that's why I brought you Mr. Thomas Cook. 515 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,350 Oh, who is this, your lawyer, Williams? 516 00:21:43,383 --> 00:21:45,833 Huh, you wish! 517 00:21:45,116 --> 00:21:46,146 This is the man you applied to 518 00:21:46,183 --> 00:21:48,333 for the government contract. 519 00:21:48,366 --> 00:21:51,226 So, remember, Mr. Morton.. 520 00:21:51,266 --> 00:21:54,326 ...learn the rules if you wanna play with the big boys. 521 00:21:54,366 --> 00:21:56,166 I'm out, baby. 522 00:22:00,383 --> 00:22:02,333 ♪ Keeping your head in the water ♪ 523 00:22:02,366 --> 00:22:05,116 ♪ Making a wave when you can ♪ 524 00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:07,830 ♪ Temporary lay offs ♪ 525 00:22:07,116 --> 00:22:08,216 ♪ Good times ♪ 526 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:10,150 ♪ Easy credit rip offs ♪ 527 00:22:10,183 --> 00:22:11,323 ♪ Good times ♪ 528 00:22:11,350 --> 00:22:14,330 ♪ Rollin' into.. ♪ 529 00:22:14,660 --> 00:22:15,150 ♪ Good times ♪ 530 00:22:15,183 --> 00:22:17,333 [indistinct] 531 00:22:17,660 --> 00:22:19,330 ♪ Good times ♪ 532 00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:23,130 ♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪ 533 00:22:23,166 --> 00:22:24,296 ♪ Good times ♪♪ 534 00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:26,323 (Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese." 38389

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