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1
00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:04,326
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:05,183 --> 00:00:07,303
Oh, man. Oh, man.
3
00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:11,203
People are just crazy nowadays,
I tell you right now.
4
00:00:11,233 --> 00:00:15,233
I mean, why is it that
brothers
wear shades in the club?
5
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:18,316
You ever see that? Brothers
wearing shades in the club.
6
00:00:18,350 --> 00:00:20,830
'Don't you just feel
like slapping them'
7
00:00:20,116 --> 00:00:21,346
on the side of the head
and going..
8
00:00:21,383 --> 00:00:24,303
"...Why the hell are you
wearing shades in the club?"
9
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:27,163
That dude is not
funny.
He's horrible.
10
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:29,170
Why do you keep
dragging me down here, man?
11
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,200
Look at them all
gold teeth in his
mouth.
12
00:00:31,233 --> 00:00:33,333
Those ain't gold.
His teeth are just yellow.
13
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,196
- Ew.
- Yo, I'm telling you,
Marlon.
14
00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:37,203
You're funnier than
all these guys up in here.
15
00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:38,223
Uh..
16
00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:41,300
We need to come together,
hold hands
17
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,253
and take our kids
out for a walk.
18
00:00:44,283 --> 00:00:47,133
Fathers need to bond
with their children..
19
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:48,246
...and take 'em out for a walk.
20
00:00:48,283 --> 00:00:51,183
It's time, y'all,
to teach the babies.
21
00:00:51,216 --> 00:00:53,246
Hey, forget about
teaching the
babies.
22
00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:56,663
Somebody need to teach you
how to brush your teeth.
23
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,320
[all laughing]
24
00:00:57,350 --> 00:01:00,250
Your teeth so yellow like you
got a mouthful of sugar palm.
25
00:01:00,283 --> 00:01:02,183
[laughing]
26
00:01:02,216 --> 00:01:03,266
Your teeth so spaced out
27
00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:05,170
it look like
your tongue is in
jail.
28
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,180
[all laughing]
29
00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:09,246
This is my job, brother.
30
00:01:09,283 --> 00:01:12,103
I don't go down to your job
and knock the crack pipe
31
00:01:12,133 --> 00:01:13,383
out of your hand.
32
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,150
Look like you brush
your teeth with a
grenade.
33
00:01:20,216 --> 00:01:22,496
[all laughing]
34
00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:23,370
[gibberish]
35
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:29,660
- Teeth today..
- I'm telling you, Marlon.
36
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,100
I'm telling
you should go up there
37
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,133
and show him
how it's done, man.
38
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:32,196
- No, Shawn.
- Marlon.
39
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,303
Look, man, for the last time..
40
00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:37,153
...I'm not a stand-up.
I'm an actor.
41
00:01:37,183 --> 00:01:40,203
All the big-time actors
start out as stand-up comics.
42
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:42,303
Jerry Seinfeld. You know
how much he makes an episode?
43
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:46,333
- What?
- A million dollars a
episode.
44
00:01:46,366 --> 00:01:48,326
A million dollars?
45
00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:50,166
It make you get ugly
when you say it.
46
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,320
(both)
A million dollars!
47
00:01:53,350 --> 00:01:55,000
Dang!
48
00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:57,000
[indistinct shouting]
49
00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,000
Is this thing on?
50
00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:00,350
[theme song]
51
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,230
♪ We're brothers ♪
52
00:02:03,266 --> 00:02:06,266
♪ We're happy and we're singing
and we're colored ♪
53
00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,180
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
54
00:02:10,216 --> 00:02:12,156
(male #1)
'Alright. Cut and print.'
55
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,300
'Beautiful guys. Dynamite.'
56
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,233
[theme music]
57
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:42,176
[instrumental music]
58
00:02:42,216 --> 00:02:44,176
- Yo, Marlon. Guess what, kid?
- Wassup, man?
59
00:02:44,216 --> 00:02:46,216
I went down to the comedy
club
and talked to the owner
60
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,220
about getting you on the
list
for amateur night
tomorrow.
61
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:49,330
Oh, Shawn. No, man.
62
00:02:49,366 --> 00:02:51,096
I-I-I mean,
I was funny last night
63
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,233
and all that money
and stuff is good
64
00:02:52,266 --> 00:02:54,656
but I've been
thinking about it. No.
65
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,350
- I don't wanna do stand-up.
- Come on, Marlon.
66
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,333
You got mad talent, kid.
Marlon, I'm telling you.
67
00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:59,176
If you just go on that
stage,
you gonna blow up.
68
00:02:59,216 --> 00:03:00,366
(Dee)
'You're gonna do stand-up?'
69
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,250
'Cause you know I'll be there
to encourage you now.
70
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,273
Wait. Hold up, now.
71
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,330
If I was to do stand-up
72
00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:05,366
it would be my first time
73
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,330
so I wouldn't have any jokes.
74
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:08,100
Oh, look,
I'll give you a limerick
75
00:03:08,133 --> 00:03:10,303
about the man from Nantucket.
76
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,233
There once was
a man from Nantucket--
77
00:03:12,266 --> 00:03:14,126
Okay. O-o-okay.
78
00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:18,130
- Okay, thank you, father.
- Marlon, Marlon, baby.
79
00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:20,326
Do it. You're wonderful.
80
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,270
- They'll love you. Do it.
- Do it!
81
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:23,350
And you're not working here.
82
00:03:23,383 --> 00:03:25,103
That ain't no job.
83
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:27,333
Yeah, I-I mean, I-I..
It's true.
84
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:31,000
It ain't like the acting
jobs
is pouring in.
85
00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:32,250
You know, plus, it'll give me
a chance to work
86
00:03:32,283 --> 00:03:34,003
on my little improv skills.
87
00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:35,200
That's right,
and your mack daddy
skills.
88
00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:37,503
You know, 'cause
the ladies love to
laugh.
89
00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:39,500
You'd be telling joke
on why'd the chicken
90
00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:40,350
cross the road?
To pull the drawers
down?
91
00:03:40,383 --> 00:03:43,123
[all laughing]
92
00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:45,333
In that case, I'mma do it.
93
00:03:45,366 --> 00:03:47,296
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm telling you.
94
00:03:47,333 --> 00:03:49,103
I cannot wait,
and you know
95
00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,833
I'll invite
some of my friends now.
96
00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:53,166
Hey, Charlie.
You wanna go?
97
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,150
Sure, I'll be there, Dee.
98
00:03:55,183 --> 00:03:56,373
Just remember..
99
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,220
...no more special
deliveries
after 6 o'clock.
100
00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:01,830
[all cheering]
101
00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:04,330
[laughing]
102
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:05,250
I don't know.
This is too much
pressure.
103
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:08,153
- I hope I'm funny.
- Oh, you'll be funny, son.
104
00:04:08,183 --> 00:04:10,333
If that doesn't work,
I always get a laugh
105
00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:11,300
out of this.
Hit it, Shawn.
106
00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:13,133
♪ Pop pop pop pop sugar pop ♪
107
00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:15,316
♪ Sugar pop sugar pop
to the popping shop ♪
108
00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:19,100
♪ Now slide slide slide slide ♪
109
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,323
♪ Now grind pop grind grind ♪
110
00:04:21,350 --> 00:04:23,230
♪ Do the low grind
do the low grind ♪
111
00:04:23,266 --> 00:04:25,326
♪ Come up come up
come up come up come up ♪
112
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:26,366
♪ Now crack the back ♪♪
113
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,000
[instrumental music]
114
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,220
[laughing]
115
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:33,370
Oh, I'm crazy.
116
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,300
Hey. Sit down.
117
00:04:36,333 --> 00:04:38,333
I wanna try some of this
material out on you.
118
00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:40,996
Alright. Go ahead.
Yo, you better be funny,
yo.
119
00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:42,230
'Of course.'
120
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:45,330
Hi, peoples!
121
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:49,216
- How y'all doing?
- We aight!
122
00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:51,330
Your mama so fat,
she stepped on the scale
123
00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:54,146
it said, "To be continued.."
124
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,346
Your mama so black
125
00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,103
any time she was in night school
126
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,173
the teachers marked her absent.
127
00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:07,153
No, because they couldn't
see her 'cause she was black
128
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:09,233
and they thought
she was the teacher's shadow.
129
00:05:10,316 --> 00:05:12,996
She failed the test anyway.
130
00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,320
- What happened?
- What are you doin'?
131
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:16,100
- Those are funny jokes.
- Marlon.
132
00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:17,253
You ain't never gonna
make it as a stand-up
133
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:19,203
talking about
your mother's so black
134
00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:21,333
the teachers marked..
That's not.
135
00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:22,350
All great
stand-ups
talk about
theirself.
136
00:05:22,383 --> 00:05:26,153
They talk about personal
experiences, like Bill
Cosby.
137
00:05:26,183 --> 00:05:28,103
He used to talk about
growing up in Philadelphia.
138
00:05:28,133 --> 00:05:30,233
Remember Cos?
You know, the Cos was drunk.
139
00:05:30,266 --> 00:05:31,996
And he would just keep rambling.
140
00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:34,100
And you know, he had
the cigar, just talking
141
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:36,833
he liked to smoke
talking about growing up
142
00:05:36,116 --> 00:05:38,326
with his wife Camille.
143
00:05:38,366 --> 00:05:41,176
And the children,
stirring the Jell-O
pudding
144
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,346
and all the dough.
145
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,270
You want me
to talk about puddin'?
146
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,100
No, I just want you
to draw from your own life.
147
00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:54,183
Talk about your own experience.
Like Redd Foxx.
148
00:05:54,216 --> 00:05:56,826
He used to do a bit
about his own
experience
149
00:05:56,116 --> 00:05:59,096
at the doctor's office.
Uh, he used to go in..
150
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:01,333
Went to the doctor
the other day.
151
00:06:01,366 --> 00:06:05,226
Doctor said,
"You got a bad case of
xactly."
152
00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:07,496
He said, "What's xactly?"
153
00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:08,350
He said, "Your breath smell
154
00:06:08,383 --> 00:06:11,163
xactly like your behind."
155
00:06:13,233 --> 00:06:14,303
- Alright.
- You know what I mean?
156
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,273
Alright. I get it. Alright.
157
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:18,660
- Definitely. Good advice.
- Alright.
158
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,180
- Thanks, man. Appreciate it.
- Alright, man.
159
00:06:19,216 --> 00:06:21,116
Talk about something
personal, you know.
160
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:22,350
Like, like your love life.
161
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,153
Oh, yeah.
162
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:26,203
Oh, you know, I'm a freak.
163
00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:36,830
[instrumental music]
164
00:06:36,116 --> 00:06:38,326
(male #2)
'This is the first time
on stage for our next
comedian.'
165
00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:40,146
So, please, be nice
166
00:06:40,183 --> 00:06:43,253
for Mr. Marlon Williams,
ladies and gentlemen.
167
00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:45,203
[cheering]
168
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,200
- Hey, how's everybody doing?
- We aight!
169
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,270
Feel good, good to be here.
170
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,660
Um, tonight I want to talk about
171
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,130
something from my life, so I
172
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:06,216
figure what's better than to
talk about the people I love.
173
00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:08,350
My family sitting right here
in the front row.
174
00:07:08,383 --> 00:07:11,373
Put the spotlight on 'em
and make ithot-uh!
175
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,220
[laughing]
176
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,170
[clapping]
177
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,100
That right there is my father.
178
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:18,333
Stand up, pops.
179
00:07:18,366 --> 00:07:20,656
Say hi to pops.
180
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,330
[applause]
181
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:25,276
'My father owns his own diner.'
182
00:07:25,316 --> 00:07:28,326
It serves a wonderful
Thanksgiving special.
183
00:07:28,660 --> 00:07:29,330
'Everybody loves his
Thanksgiving special.'
184
00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:32,346
Everybody but the pigeon
he serves. You know what I mean?
185
00:07:32,383 --> 00:07:34,003
[audience laughing]
186
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:36,180
'Can you feel me?'
187
00:07:36,216 --> 00:07:39,496
My father's so funny
'cause he's 60 years old
188
00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:41,320
talking about bang, bang, bang.
189
00:07:42,383 --> 00:07:44,153
I'm like, "Pop, you're 60.
190
00:07:44,183 --> 00:07:46,203
"It's more like pah, pah, pah.
191
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,220
That gun is
shooting blanks, pop."
192
00:07:51,233 --> 00:07:54,233
Do you feel me?
193
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:57,166
Spotlight on my brother
Shawn and make ithot-uh!
194
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,220
Shawnie. Shawnie.
195
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,160
(Marlon)
I love that man.
196
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,330
That is my pride and my joy.
That's my brother.
197
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:05,826
I love him to death.
I love him.
198
00:08:05,116 --> 00:08:07,166
Almost as much
as he loves himself.
199
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,150
Oh! Ha ha ha!
200
00:08:09,183 --> 00:08:12,003
I swear to God, he just broke
up
with his girlfriend last week
201
00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:14,230
to get back with himself.
Ha ha ha.
202
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,370
He's cute now, but y'all should
have seen him back in the day.
203
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,000
Oh, boy.
204
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:21,660
Before that acne medicine
205
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,000
and them braces kicked in
206
00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:24,280
my brother
used to look like this.
207
00:08:26,166 --> 00:08:28,826
[laughing]
208
00:08:29,316 --> 00:08:31,296
And this right here is a good
friend of the family, Dee.
209
00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:34,153
Come on, give it up for Dee.
Yes. Yes.
210
00:08:34,183 --> 00:08:36,253
[all clapping]
211
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:39,223
Good friend and a..
She's a very, very sweet woman.
212
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:43,280
'Very sweet, just not
sweet enough to get a man.'
213
00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:45,166
Last time,
a man touched her booty
214
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,000
it was in the delivery room.
You know what I mean?
215
00:08:48,330 --> 00:08:49,330
Can you feel me?
216
00:08:49,366 --> 00:08:51,346
Make ithot-uh!
217
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,830
[cheering]
218
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,146
Put the spotlight on grandma
219
00:08:56,183 --> 00:08:59,003
and I want you to make it what?
220
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,330
(audience)
Hot!
221
00:09:00,660 --> 00:09:01,230
Hot-uh!
222
00:09:01,266 --> 00:09:04,296
I want it to be blowtorch hot!
223
00:09:06,183 --> 00:09:07,253
That's my grandma right there.
224
00:09:07,283 --> 00:09:09,663
'Doesn't she have
a beautiful smile?'
225
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,270
Look at that smile.
226
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,320
Too bad they aren't her teeth.
227
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,280
For real. For real, I mean..
228
00:09:16,316 --> 00:09:18,126
The woman is beautiful
229
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:21,346
but she's crustier
than a Dominos pizza.
230
00:09:21,383 --> 00:09:24,253
'When I was little
she used to change my diapers.'
231
00:09:24,283 --> 00:09:26,273
Now, I change hers.
232
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:29,150
Can you feel me?
233
00:09:29,183 --> 00:09:31,183
Make ithot!
234
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:34,156
Whoo! Whoo! Oh, man.
235
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:37,000
Now, if you learned one thing
from my family, it's..
236
00:09:37,330 --> 00:09:39,320
...don't date your cousins. Ha!
237
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:42,350
'Can you feel me? Make ithot!'
238
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:46,200
[cheering]
239
00:09:46,233 --> 00:09:47,323
[whistling]
240
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,380
Mr. Williams.
Mr. Marlon Williams.
241
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:54,346
Marlon Williams,
ladies and gentlemen.
242
00:09:54,383 --> 00:09:57,223
Let's hear it for him.
Okay. First time doing
stand-up.
243
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,350
'First time.'
244
00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:00,253
Okay, now
put your hands together
245
00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:05,663
for the comedy stylings
of..."Doo Doo Beige."
246
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,100
[audience clapping]
247
00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:12,376
Marlon, that was the best
debut
I have ever seen.
248
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,330
That was a really nice
touch
having your family
249
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:16,500
right out front there.
250
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:17,660
Hey, you know, you keep this up
251
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,370
you might get your own sitcom.
252
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,370
Really? Hey, maybe I
can get on the WB, huh?
253
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,830
[chuckles]
254
00:10:24,183 --> 00:10:25,373
Ooh!
255
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,200
Yes!
256
00:10:27,233 --> 00:10:29,103
Oh, man.
257
00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:32,830
Wassup?
258
00:10:32,116 --> 00:10:35,156
So? How did you like me?
259
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,350
You humiliated us.
260
00:10:37,383 --> 00:10:40,103
You are the one who put them
tic-tac shoes on.
261
00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:44,273
Come on, pop,
you know I'm only joking.
262
00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,130
Pop.
263
00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:47,316
Pop!
264
00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:51,130
Grandma...grandma, now,
you know I was only joking.
265
00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:55,226
- Right?
- No, I don't, Marlon.
266
00:10:55,266 --> 00:10:57,296
[crying]
You broke my
heart.
267
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,370
[instrumental music]
268
00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:07,166
[instrumental music]
269
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,120
I can't believe Marlon
putting our business
270
00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:10,270
in the street like that.
271
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:13,170
Making up all that
stuff
how I can't get a
man.
272
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,250
Or-or pop serving pigeon.
273
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,663
He-he made it up.
Yeah, that's what he did.
274
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,330
He made it up.
Don't serve no pigeon.
275
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,830
Anyway, if I was you guys,
I wouldn't worry about it.
276
00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:25,166
It was only one night
277
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,000
and nobody's gonna
remember anything, okay?
278
00:11:28,330 --> 00:11:29,270
- Good morning, everybody.
- 'Morning.'
279
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,170
- Oh, you got some mail, Dee.
- Oh.
280
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,280
- It's a love letter.
- Oh.
281
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,166
Psych!
282
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,180
While I was waiting
283
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,266
here's a coupon for you.
284
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,370
Fifty cents off
a box of Depends.
285
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,230
(Pops)
'Hey, Charlie,
Charlie, Charlie.'
286
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,176
Where you goin'?
Don't you want your usual?
287
00:11:42,216 --> 00:11:44,326
Sorry, Pops, after last night
288
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,330
I'm eating across the street.
289
00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:48,316
Now Marlon got my customers
walking out on me.
290
00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:50,120
Forget your customers.
291
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:51,150
He embarrassedme
292
00:11:51,183 --> 00:11:53,333
in front of my best friends.
293
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:54,300
All I know is he'd
better not be at
that
294
00:11:54,333 --> 00:11:56,273
card game tonight 'cause I
don't know what I'll do
there.
295
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,330
Alright, relax.
Don't worry about it.
296
00:11:58,660 --> 00:11:59,370
It's just gonna be
the four of us, okay?
297
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,370
Hey, what's poppin', people?
298
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,180
Oh, I see.
299
00:12:04,216 --> 00:12:06,376
Y'all going to try and give
me
the silent treatment.
300
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,120
Well, just remember,
my girlfriend's inflatable.
301
00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:11,120
[laughs sarcastically]
302
00:12:11,150 --> 00:12:12,200
She talk dirty like this.
303
00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:13,383
[hissing]
304
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,320
Okay?
305
00:12:16,350 --> 00:12:18,660
Make ithot-uh!
306
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,830
[laughing]
307
00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:23,826
What's up,
techie?
How you doing?
308
00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:25,116
Come on, pop,
you know I'm only joking,
man.
309
00:12:25,150 --> 00:12:28,320
Besides, look, the dude said
I could do stand-up anytime.
310
00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:30,170
- Okay?
- Oh, Marlon.
311
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,370
It's just not right
making fun of us on
stage.
312
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,320
Come on, grandma, everybody
know you wear diapers.
313
00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:37,120
You can hear it
when you walk.
314
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:39,000
[imitating diaper rustling]
315
00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:43,233
- And I encouraged you.
- Hold on, Dee.
316
00:12:43,266 --> 00:12:45,126
Shawn was the one that told me
to talk about my family.
317
00:12:45,166 --> 00:12:46,996
No, no, no,
I told you to talk
318
00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:48,280
about your own
personal experiences
319
00:12:48,316 --> 00:12:50,366
not insult us.
320
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,500
Forget it, you ain't cute.
321
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,270
And you ain't
funny,
you B-E-T comic.
322
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,350
The nerve of these people.
323
00:12:58,383 --> 00:13:02,103
Pop, come on, man, you know,
a brother's only joke..
324
00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:04,333
Look, if you're gonna get all
sensitive, then forget you
then.
325
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,216
I don't need you.
326
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:08,300
Okay? I don't need
none of y'all.
327
00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:10,333
What do you mean I need them?
328
00:13:10,366 --> 00:13:14,096
I got you booked on a showcase
for "Showtime At The Apollo."
329
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:15,333
I told the talent booker
all about you
330
00:13:15,366 --> 00:13:18,216
but without your family,
you don't have an act.
331
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,330
Sure, I do.
332
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,166
See, I made a whole new act
333
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,330
with brand-new material.
334
00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:27,500
Yeah, see, this-this is my
impression of Marlon Brando..
335
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:28,270
...in "Booty Call."
336
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:34,320
[imitating Marlon Brando]
Come here, my sexual chocolate.
337
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,146
Let big daddy tap that booty.
338
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:43,270
Come here, let me pull you by
your weave and spank that booty
339
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:46,160
and knock boots with you.
340
00:13:48,383 --> 00:13:50,173
Like I said, without your family
341
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,830
you don't have an act.
342
00:13:53,116 --> 00:13:56,656
I mean, watching them squirm
was the best part.
343
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:59,380
Now either you get them here
or you don't go on.
344
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,270
You know
that works for
me
345
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:04,250
but here's where I have
issues or problems.
346
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,130
I don't know if they'll come.
347
00:14:08,166 --> 00:14:11,226
Well, you gotta ask yourself
a question, kid.
348
00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:13,266
How bad do you wanna make it?
349
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:19,660
They'll be here.
350
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:20,270
I hope.
351
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:22,500
[hip-hop music]
352
00:14:22,830 --> 00:14:24,170
- New deal, you in, Shawn?
- I'm in.
353
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,270
Here we go.
Read them and weep.
354
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,280
Hey, everybody!
355
00:14:28,316 --> 00:14:31,276
'How's my
favorite people doing?'
356
00:14:31,316 --> 00:14:32,366
Huh?
357
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,100
Oh, how are y'all gonna
play cards without me?
358
00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:37,103
Why didn't somebody call me?
359
00:14:37,133 --> 00:14:39,233
Well, since I am
the cheapest man in New York
360
00:14:39,266 --> 00:14:41,326
I fold. What about you, Dee?
361
00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:44,116
I fold too.
362
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:47,150
Since I've been so busy
worrying about how to get a man
363
00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:50,003
I guess I wasn't
paying attention.
364
00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:51,150
Well, I fold too.
365
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:54,173
I guess I'm too cute
to play by myself.
366
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,180
Well, well, well.
367
00:14:57,216 --> 00:15:02,656
I guess the old crusty
diaper-lady wins the pot.
368
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,300
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
Alright, guys?
369
00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:08,223
Beat me, hang me,
spank me. I'm sorry.
370
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,330
I mean, hey, you know what?
371
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,170
I rewrote my whole act
and this time
372
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,160
I only talk about myself.
373
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:15,250
How can we trust you?
374
00:15:15,283 --> 00:15:18,253
Come on, grandma.
Look at this face.
375
00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:26,276
Come on, grandma,
I mean, after all,
I..
376
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,826
I just..
377
00:15:28,116 --> 00:15:29,316
I, um..
378
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,660
Poor baby.
379
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,150
I just miss my family.
380
00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:39,366
I just miss my father.
381
00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:48,250
Well..
382
00:15:48,283 --> 00:15:50,103
...I still say you shouldn't
383
00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,133
air out dirty laundry in public.
384
00:15:53,366 --> 00:15:55,116
Who do you think we are,
the Kennedys?
385
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:57,150
Get your hands off me!
386
00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:00,220
You know, you're right, pop.
387
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:03,660
Alright, Marlon, I'm
gonna
give you one more shot.
388
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,150
Yeah!
389
00:16:04,183 --> 00:16:05,353
Back it up.
390
00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:08,183
Come on, everybody,
let's play cards.
391
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,830
My sweet baby.
392
00:16:12,116 --> 00:16:14,276
I knew you wouldn't
let the family down.
393
00:16:14,316 --> 00:16:17,146
[chuckles]
394
00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:18,203
'My deal.'
395
00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:21,353
It's a conspiracy out there,
trust me.
396
00:16:21,383 --> 00:16:24,233
Why do they call it
black Monday
397
00:16:24,266 --> 00:16:26,276
when the stock market crashes?
398
00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:30,826
You ain't never heard
of no white Monday!
399
00:16:30,116 --> 00:16:31,216
Ain't that somethin'?
400
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:34,100
It's tricky, homie.
It is tricky!
401
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:35,303
'The white lady in the front
lookin' at me..'
402
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:38,153
Sittin' there
lookin' at me like this.
403
00:16:38,183 --> 00:16:42,153
[imitating white woman]
Who taught thisNegro
how to read?
404
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,120
The nerve of him!
405
00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:48,300
I'm appalled!
406
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:52,323
That is very, very phony, homie.
407
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,220
[laughing]
408
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:58,120
[applause]
409
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,250
Tell 'em like it is, bro!
410
00:17:00,283 --> 00:17:03,233
All set, Marlon.
Your family is right up
front.
411
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,160
Mr. Masada,
I'm a little nervous.
412
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:10,370
Listen, kid, you score
tonight,
forget the sitcom
413
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,250
you could get a movie deal.
414
00:17:12,283 --> 00:17:14,353
Now, just relax,
take a deep
breath
415
00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:17,333
and rip into
your loved
ones.
416
00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:18,270
You'll be fine.
417
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,346
[instrumental music]
418
00:17:24,233 --> 00:17:26,663
[applause]
419
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,380
Okay, ladies and gentlemen..
420
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,250
...an up-and-coming new comic
421
00:17:29,283 --> 00:17:30,323
knocked us dead the other night.
422
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,220
You're gonna love this guy
423
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,280
Mr. Marlon Williams.
424
00:17:34,316 --> 00:17:36,146
Knock 'em dead, Marlon.
425
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,333
Hi, peoples!
426
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,376
(audience)
Hi.
427
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,160
(Marlon)
'Alright. Let me get
the spotlight on my family.'
428
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:51,150
'And make ithot-uh!'
429
00:17:52,216 --> 00:17:53,376
'Yeah!'
430
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,180
Yeah, yeah.
431
00:17:56,216 --> 00:17:58,266
That right there is my pops.
432
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:01,500
Pops own his own diner.
433
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:03,160
Um..
434
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,250
'...he, uh..'
435
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:07,833
[stuttering]
'...he owns th-this,
this diner..'
436
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,180
You guys should
eat there sometime.
437
00:18:10,216 --> 00:18:12,496
It's a, it's
a wonderful restaurant.
438
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,170
He serves great food. It's down
at the new Neidermeyer Building.
439
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,250
So anytime you wanna check it
out, go to Pop's, please.
440
00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:19,333
Y'all give it up for my
family
sittin' in the front row.
441
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,326
[applause]
442
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:25,176
A real man doesn't
talk about his family.
443
00:18:25,216 --> 00:18:27,226
No, I-I wouldn't do that.
444
00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:29,656
But I will talk about
this brother
445
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:32,200
with the big old eggplant head
sittin' right there.
446
00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:35,333
'Get the spotlight on him
and make ithot-uh!'
447
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:37,296
Yeah!
448
00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:39,316
Yeah!
449
00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:41,100
That brother look like
someone kicked the hell
450
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:42,223
out of Louis Gossett, Jr.
451
00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:45,000
[all laughing]
452
00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:47,220
Your head look like
half a buttock.
453
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,180
Why don't you and this brother
over here get together
454
00:18:49,216 --> 00:18:51,216
'and y'all can make
an ass out of yourself.'
455
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:53,300
[laughing]
456
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:56,303
Look at you, what you staring at
with that old yellow eyes, man?
457
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:58,153
'You all black
with them yellow eyes'
458
00:18:58,183 --> 00:19:00,503
'looking like a coke
with lemon.'
459
00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:01,130
He go outside
460
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:02,996
and he, he stand
by the intersection
461
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:05,150
traffic just slow down.
462
00:19:05,183 --> 00:19:07,183
Hello, stop at yellow!
463
00:19:07,216 --> 00:19:09,326
[laughing]
464
00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:11,276
But y'all,
y'all have been wonderful.
465
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:15,826
Peace, love and, uh,
make ithot-uh!
466
00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:18,830
[applause]
467
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:21,156
[crowd cheering]
468
00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:26,376
Marlon Williams,
ladies and gentlemen.
469
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,220
Marlon Williams.
470
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:32,003
Okay, and now..
471
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:36,230
...the comedy
of..."Cabbage-head."
472
00:19:36,266 --> 00:19:39,156
[applause]
473
00:19:39,366 --> 00:19:41,146
[indistinct chattering]
474
00:19:41,183 --> 00:19:42,253
Now, did you see that?
475
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:43,373
I killed out there.
476
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,180
And I didn't have
to make fun of my family.
477
00:19:45,216 --> 00:19:47,366
Are you crazy?
What were you doing up
there?
478
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,380
Come on, Bud, I couldn't hurt
my family's feelings again.
479
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,380
I'm not talking about that. I'm
talking about the talent-booker.
480
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,330
Yeah, he was here, right?
481
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:55,370
- Did he like me?
- Like you?
482
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,200
Hehated
483
00:19:57,233 --> 00:20:00,663
The talent-booker
was the bald guy!
484
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,170
[gasps]
485
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:04,100
My bad.
486
00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:05,203
Nice going, genius.
487
00:20:05,233 --> 00:20:07,283
This could
really
hurt the club.
488
00:20:07,316 --> 00:20:10,116
Mr. Masada, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to hurt the
club.
489
00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:11,330
I-I'm-I'm really sorry.
490
00:20:11,366 --> 00:20:13,326
I'm sorry too.
491
00:20:13,366 --> 00:20:16,266
Maybe it'd best if you
didn't
come around here anymore.
492
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,660
Unless of course,
you become famous
493
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:20,130
and I can
make money off you.
494
00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:26,130
[indistinct chattering]
495
00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:31,180
Great show. Hey, you were funny.
496
00:20:31,216 --> 00:20:33,176
- Thank you.
- Hercules! Hercules..
497
00:20:33,216 --> 00:20:34,316
Yeah, man,
you was damn funny.
498
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:36,180
- Thank you, man.
- I'm proud of you.
499
00:20:36,216 --> 00:20:38,656
Yo, for a minute there,
I got a little nervous
though.
500
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,230
I thought you were gonna
start talking about us
again.
501
00:20:40,266 --> 00:20:41,296
Oh, no, no, no.
502
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:44,233
You know I wouldn't do that.
503
00:20:44,266 --> 00:20:46,496
Alright, I thought about it.
504
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:49,830
Y'all did look
like victims though.
505
00:20:49,116 --> 00:20:51,316
Only thing is,
I kinda messed up.
506
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,250
You know the, the bald-head guy
I was snappin' at?
507
00:20:53,283 --> 00:20:55,253
- 'Uh-huh.'
- He's the Apollo booker.
508
00:20:55,283 --> 00:20:57,273
- Ooh.
- 'Yeah.'
509
00:20:57,300 --> 00:21:00,660
Owner said I can't
do stand-up here anymore.
510
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,500
- Oh, man.
- Well..
511
00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:04,130
At least
you kept your
promise.
512
00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,376
- That's right.
- The family.
513
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,270
That's right, crusty.
514
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,100
[laughing]
515
00:21:09,133 --> 00:21:11,223
Don't worry, this is
not
the only comedy club
516
00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:12,230
that you can play in.
517
00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:13,246
Yeah, Marlon, you could go
518
00:21:13,283 --> 00:21:14,333
to any comedy club around town.
519
00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:16,126
Anyone would be glad
to have you.
520
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:18,146
Yeah, but next time don't talk
about that crazy stuff
521
00:21:18,183 --> 00:21:20,383
about me being cheap.
522
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,830
Now, come on,
let's crawl out of here
523
00:21:22,116 --> 00:21:23,176
before we have to pay
for our drink.
524
00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:24,246
Get down.
525
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,123
Slow down.
My bunions are acting up.
526
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,370
Listen, I think
I'm gonna hang
out
527
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,660
'cause Cabbage-head
keeps winkin' at me
528
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,150
I don't know why.
529
00:21:34,183 --> 00:21:36,503
Oh, go on, groupie.
530
00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:39,380
[imitates Dee]
Cabbage-head, he might have
a lot of money or
something.
531
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,370
Hey, kid, you know I wrote
a whole new act, right?
532
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,500
- Get out of here.
- Yeah, man. Brand-new
material.
533
00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:46,180
This is my impression
of Little Richard
534
00:21:46,216 --> 00:21:48,226
in "Boyz N The Hood." Okay?
535
00:21:48,266 --> 00:21:53,166
Remember...Little Richard
in "Boyz N The Hood."
536
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,660
[imitating Little Richard]
Oh, you see, I-I-I,
I started gang banging. Yes.
537
00:22:00,383 --> 00:22:02,283
The police cars, homie,
very scary, homie.
538
00:22:02,316 --> 00:22:04,096
They call it black and white.
539
00:22:04,133 --> 00:22:07,153
But it's really the outside
of the car is all white.
540
00:22:07,183 --> 00:22:08,253
The only thing black about it
541
00:22:08,283 --> 00:22:10,173
is the brother
gettin' out the car!
542
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,220
Oh, trust me, the white lady
over here looking at me
543
00:22:12,250 --> 00:22:14,280
"I'm too real for you.
I'm too real for you, homie."
544
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:16,116
I am too real for you, homie.
545
00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:17,180
White lady looking at me like
546
00:22:17,216 --> 00:22:21,826
"ThisNegro
547
00:22:21,116 --> 00:22:22,096
Martin Luther King
548
00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:24,333
didn't fight this hard for this!
549
00:22:24,366 --> 00:22:26,326
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.
39491
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