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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:02,366 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,160 (Shawn) Damn, Dee. 3 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,830 You look like a ghetto walrus. 4 00:00:07,830 --> 00:00:09,350 North pole, fool. North pole. 5 00:00:11,366 --> 00:00:15,126 - I'm only playin'. - I'm in no mood for jokes. 6 00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:18,296 Autumn just started, and it already snowed. 7 00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:21,503 On top of that, I gotta do double duty. 8 00:00:21,830 --> 00:00:23,320 That Neidermeyer is driving me crazy. 9 00:00:23,350 --> 00:00:27,330 He not only has me patrolling inside 10 00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:29,500 he got me patrolling outside as well. 11 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:30,370 - That other security guard? - 'Mm-hmm.' 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,170 Came down with a heart attack. 13 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,250 Oh, that's what was goin' on. 14 00:00:34,283 --> 00:00:37,283 'Cause I've seen that brother rollin' around on the ground. 15 00:00:37,316 --> 00:00:40,096 Well, I thought he was just makin' a snow angel. 16 00:00:40,383 --> 00:00:42,233 Please. 17 00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:47,250 Um,Signor mind helpin' me out? 18 00:00:47,283 --> 00:00:49,663 Give me a hand, man, I don't pay you 19 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:51,170 below minimum wage for nothin'. 20 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,330 I'm sorry, G, I'm just tryin' to finish this puzzle. 21 00:00:53,366 --> 00:00:57,226 Yo, kid, first prize as a family trip to the Bahamas. 22 00:00:57,266 --> 00:01:01,246 I'm telling you, baby. I'mma gonna win this for the family. 23 00:01:01,283 --> 00:01:04,273 - It's easy, too. - Let me see. 24 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,500 - One problem. - What? 25 00:01:06,830 --> 00:01:08,380 - This is wrong. - What do you mean it's wrong? 26 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,170 Marlon, the sergeant general was not Dr. Dre. 27 00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:15,220 Oh, yeah. 28 00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,270 It's Dr. Seuss. 29 00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:19,320 [theme song] 30 00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:22,230 ♪ We're brothers ♪ 31 00:01:22,266 --> 00:01:26,656 ♪ We're happy and we're singin' and we're colored ♪ 32 00:01:27,116 --> 00:01:29,146 ♪ Give me a high five ♪♪ 33 00:01:29,183 --> 00:01:30,383 (male #1) 'Alright. Cut and print.' 34 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,830 'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite. That is..' 35 00:01:33,116 --> 00:01:35,096 [upbeat music] 36 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:40,246 [instrumental music] 37 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,200 (Dee) 'Hey, pop.' 38 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:47,333 I would do anything for a hot chocolate. 39 00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:48,200 Careful what you say, Dee. 40 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,003 The cold bring out the loneliness in a man. 41 00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:54,333 Give me that cocoa, old man. 42 00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:56,000 Yeah, I'll have a hot chocolate too. 43 00:01:56,330 --> 00:02:00,330 Well, we seem to have ourselves a little situation here. 44 00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:01,150 There's only one packet left. 45 00:02:01,183 --> 00:02:02,353 I'll give you a buck for that, pop. 46 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,003 I'll give you a buck 50. 47 00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:06,170 - Do I hear two? - Two. 48 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,350 - Two fifty. - Do I hear five? 49 00:02:07,383 --> 00:02:09,103 - Fi-- - Hey. 50 00:02:09,133 --> 00:02:11,163 I've been shoveling snow since 6 a.m. this mornin'. 51 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,370 You better gimme that cocoa, or I'mma take this 52 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,330 and turn you into a puddin' pie. 53 00:02:16,233 --> 00:02:18,333 I'll just have some coffee. 54 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:19,330 Good, good. Go, go. Go on. 55 00:02:19,366 --> 00:02:22,266 Sold to the lady with the snotsicles. 56 00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,280 Put this on my tab. 57 00:02:24,316 --> 00:02:26,366 Marlon. Marlon. 58 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,280 I'm tellin' you, boy, you put down that stupid answer 59 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,826 you could forget about winning the contest. 60 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:32,146 I know what I'm doin', Shawn. Give me. 61 00:02:32,183 --> 00:02:35,373 Let's-let's ask somebody smart, like pop. He got his GED. 62 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,160 Pop. Pop. 63 00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:40,660 - I'm tellin' you. - I'm tellin you, bro. 64 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,160 - Ah, you don't know nothin'. - Ah, phooey. 65 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,100 - Ask him. - What's all this ruckus about? 66 00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:46,123 Pop, Marlon just needs one more word, and we could win 67 00:02:46,150 --> 00:02:48,200 a vacation to Bahamas, and he's about to blow it. 68 00:02:48,233 --> 00:02:51,103 What, Shawn, I'm tellin' you, I got the right answer. 69 00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:54,183 Pop, listen. It's a six letter word beginning with letter H. 70 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:57,166 And it's something that's very expensive. 71 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,200 That's easy. 72 00:02:58,233 --> 00:02:59,353 Hooker! 73 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:05,326 - Right? - No, Marlon. Houses. 74 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:06,370 - Houses? - My bad. 75 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,200 I thought it was hoochie. 76 00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:10,383 Hoochie? 77 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,280 What you tryin' to teach my babies? 78 00:03:12,316 --> 00:03:14,156 - Hey, oh.. - Hey, oh-oh.. 79 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,320 Hold on, grandma. Relax. 80 00:03:15,350 --> 00:03:17,270 I'm only entering a contest. 81 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:20,130 All it needs is a stamp, and we are one leg closer 82 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,276 to that family dream vacation, baby. 83 00:03:22,316 --> 00:03:25,166 Mm-hmm. Well I won't hold my breath. 84 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,330 I wish you would. 85 00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:30,200 'Cause you're stinkin' up my diner. 86 00:03:30,233 --> 00:03:32,333 It's that funky cologne. 87 00:03:32,366 --> 00:03:35,246 Well, you bought it for me. 88 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,663 I know. 89 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,250 Alright. 90 00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:40,183 Okay, look, while y'all two are fightin' 91 00:03:40,216 --> 00:03:43,216 I'mma go mail off my entry form. 92 00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,350 Anybody got a stamp? 93 00:03:44,383 --> 00:03:45,333 I do. 94 00:03:45,366 --> 00:03:47,116 And I'll mail it for you, baby. 95 00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:49,500 Come on, Marl. We got customers out there. 96 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:50,180 Thank you, grandma. 97 00:03:50,216 --> 00:03:51,266 - Hey, I owe you one. - Oh! 98 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,160 You're the man, grandma. You're the man. 99 00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,150 Now, I know why you got the mustache. 100 00:03:54,183 --> 00:03:55,303 Go. 101 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,350 You sure got a nasty place here. 102 00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:02,330 What do I gotta do 103 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,330 to get a hot chocolate around here? 104 00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:05,330 Yeah, I'll have a hot chocolate too. 105 00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:08,176 [laughing] 106 00:04:08,216 --> 00:04:11,346 Well, we seem to have ourself a little situation. 107 00:04:11,383 --> 00:04:14,353 There's only one packet left. 108 00:04:14,383 --> 00:04:17,163 [instrumental music] 109 00:04:24,660 --> 00:04:27,150 Look it. That's the girl, Kim, from the third floor. 110 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,253 That little mami is fine. 111 00:04:29,283 --> 00:04:31,373 Boy, she is not interested in you. 112 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,150 Every time you approach her, she avoids you 113 00:04:33,183 --> 00:04:35,323 like that little monkey from "Outbreak." 114 00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:38,200 [high-pitched squealing] 115 00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:43,353 Psst, mami. 116 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,303 Psst.Mira. 117 00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:47,833 Que pasa? 118 00:04:48,383 --> 00:04:52,333 I was wonderin' if maybe, you know, me and you could go out.. 119 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,500 ...sometime, you know what I mean? 120 00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:57,330 Well, no need to wonder any longer. 121 00:04:58,216 --> 00:05:01,826 [indistinct] 122 00:05:01,116 --> 00:05:03,166 Because it'll never happen. 123 00:05:07,316 --> 00:05:09,216 Did you see that? 124 00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:10,320 She spoke to me. 125 00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:13,160 She spoke to me! 126 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,150 Hi, y'all. Woowie! 127 00:05:15,183 --> 00:05:16,273 It's cold out there. 128 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:17,330 Hey, grandma. 129 00:05:17,366 --> 00:05:19,146 You gotta be careful, grandma. 130 00:05:19,183 --> 00:05:21,003 Remember last time it was this cold 131 00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:25,160 you forgot to put your teeth in and your gums stuck together. 132 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,200 [both laughing] Oh, don't worry about me. 133 00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:29,383 I had to come by, bring my babies some lunch. 134 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,830 Aww, that's sweet, grandma. 135 00:05:32,116 --> 00:05:34,196 But you know, we always eat at pop's place. 136 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:36,283 I don't want you to ever eat in there again. 137 00:05:36,316 --> 00:05:38,316 I saw him in the alley chasing a cat 138 00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:40,320 with a shaken bake bag in his hand. 139 00:05:42,116 --> 00:05:44,656 Who wants chicken? 140 00:05:45,216 --> 00:05:46,366 Why y'all lookin' at me like that? 141 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,180 Meow! 142 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,380 [telephone ringing] 143 00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:56,270 Chello, Casanova da Ghetto speaking. 144 00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:58,330 Yeah. This is Marlon Wayans. 145 00:05:58,366 --> 00:05:59,296 Contest? 146 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:02,663 Oh, yeah, the Bahamas contest. 147 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,660 I, what? 148 00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,250 Get the, huh, outta here! 149 00:06:05,283 --> 00:06:07,663 I won? I did? 150 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,200 Oh, I won! 151 00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:11,003 I won! I won! 152 00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:16,320 I won! I won! I won! 153 00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:18,370 I won, I won, I won, I won, I won, I won. 154 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:31,830 Hello. 155 00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:34,316 Thank you, no, thank you so much. Thank you. 156 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,100 I love you. My family loves you. 157 00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:37,153 Family, say "I love you." 158 00:06:37,183 --> 00:06:38,383 (all) I love you. 159 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,500 Okay. You take it easy. Alright. Bye. 160 00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:44,180 Pop. I won, baby! 161 00:06:44,216 --> 00:06:46,146 - We're goin' to the Bahamas. - Bahamas? 162 00:06:46,183 --> 00:06:48,203 [both cheering] 163 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,203 Oh, man, kid. 164 00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:51,003 Beautiful women, sunny beaches. 165 00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:54,220 It's gonna be like the black "Baywatch" over there. 166 00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:56,250 - Do I get to go too? - Oh, I'm sorry. 167 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,123 The Bahamas have enough fruit bats flyin' around already. 168 00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:02,500 Hey, pop. Of course you can come, grandma. 169 00:07:02,830 --> 00:07:04,130 - What is going on? - Dee. 170 00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:06,496 - 'What?' - I won, baby. 171 00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:07,280 I'm goin' to the Bahamas. 172 00:07:07,316 --> 00:07:08,316 Ooh! 173 00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:10,660 The Bahamas! 174 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,100 Those tropical breeze 175 00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:14,303 and them half naked men. 176 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,333 - Hey. - Hey, ho, ho, ho. 177 00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,320 - Hey, what? - Oh, Dee. 178 00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:19,150 Cold done turned you into a freak. 179 00:07:19,183 --> 00:07:20,273 Oh-oh! 180 00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:23,500 But you know what? It's warming me up. 181 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:24,280 Yo, Marlon, winnin' this trip 182 00:07:24,316 --> 00:07:26,156 is the best thing to happen to our family 183 00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,170 since pop's got credit at the 99 cents store. 184 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,270 Yes, yeah, baby. 185 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:33,200 It's about time this family had some good luck. 186 00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:34,283 And with your mama gone 187 00:07:34,316 --> 00:07:36,096 I can use a little R and R. 188 00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:38,153 - Rest and relaxation? - No, brother. 189 00:07:38,183 --> 00:07:40,183 Rum and Roulette. 190 00:07:41,266 --> 00:07:44,096 [instrumental music] 191 00:07:51,316 --> 00:07:53,376 Tropical drinks for everybody. 192 00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:02,300 Where's mine? 193 00:08:02,333 --> 00:08:03,373 I thought you drink out the toilet 194 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,330 like you always do. 195 00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:09,276 You must have me confused 196 00:08:09,316 --> 00:08:12,266 with your bald-headed mama. 197 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,280 Hey, al-alright. Okay, now. 198 00:08:14,316 --> 00:08:17,826 Both of you gotta stop. Okay? 199 00:08:17,116 --> 00:08:18,346 Now, we're gonna have fun on this vacation. 200 00:08:18,383 --> 00:08:21,233 Look at all these cool places we could go hang out. 201 00:08:21,266 --> 00:08:24,226 Ooh. Look at that shuffleboard! That's for me. 202 00:08:24,266 --> 00:08:28,096 If you're lookin' for me, I'll be in the casino. 203 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,833 Well, I'll be spendin' most of my time on the nude beaches. 204 00:08:31,116 --> 00:08:32,176 You know what I'm talkin' about. 205 00:08:32,216 --> 00:08:34,146 Nude beaches. 206 00:08:34,183 --> 00:08:37,373 Well, I guess I won't be needin' my two-piece bikini. 207 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,180 I hope one of those pieces is a blindfold. 208 00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:44,230 [sighs] Hi, guys. 209 00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:46,326 - Eh, man. - 'Hey, guys.' 210 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,130 Marlon Wayans. 211 00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:49,096 You got the plane ticket? 212 00:08:49,133 --> 00:08:51,503 Yeah, I got 'em right here. 213 00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:52,180 But, there's a problem. 214 00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:54,326 What do you mean? 215 00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,100 There's only two tickets. 216 00:08:56,133 --> 00:08:57,273 Two tickets? 217 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:59,000 They said it was a family vacation. 218 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,370 Yeah, I know. I just misread the fine print. 219 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,230 I can only take one other family member. 220 00:09:03,266 --> 00:09:06,326 - Okay, son, when do we leave? - I get the window seat. 221 00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:09,160 I'll send you two fools a postcard. 222 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,370 Marlon, will you please tell Ike and Tina.. 223 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,170 ...that you're takin' me with you to the Bahamas? 224 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,330 Oh, no, he's not. 225 00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:19,120 He takin' his pop to the soft sands 226 00:09:19,150 --> 00:09:21,370 where we're gonna be sippin' pina colonics. 227 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,100 Wait, wait, come on. 228 00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,383 Now, wait, chill, everybody, alright? 229 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,380 Don't worry. I'mma a take care of this. I'mma work it out. 230 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,330 Hey, baby, there's nothing to work out. 231 00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:29,220 Remember, I was the one to mail 232 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,380 the enter-in for you. Remember that? 233 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,160 It was my newspaper, and he's my brother. 234 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,220 And I'm the one who gave him all the answers. 235 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:36,500 [shouting] 236 00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:38,320 [instrumental music] 237 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,160 [shouting continues] 238 00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:51,203 You're hurtin' me! 239 00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:54,663 Get off of me, damn it! 240 00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:57,200 Heathens! 241 00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:59,833 Excuse me. 242 00:09:59,116 --> 00:10:01,116 Marlon, I know I shouldn't tell you this, baby. 243 00:10:01,150 --> 00:10:03,200 But I'm re-doing my will this week. 244 00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:06,253 Oh, don't believe her. She's dead already! 245 00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:09,103 Now, who's it gonna be? 246 00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:10,133 Me? 247 00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:12,126 The bride of Frankenstein? 248 00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:14,226 Or the brother who pulled your pants down 249 00:10:14,266 --> 00:10:17,146 and showed the whole playground your ding-a-ling? 250 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,100 Or...the man that lied and said 251 00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:24,223 that your turtle ran away 252 00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:28,160 when he really flushed him down the toilet? 253 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:31,160 [sobbing] Pokey, pop. 254 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,150 He did it himself, son. 255 00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:34,103 It was a clear case of suicide. 256 00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:38,180 How could you do somethin' like that? 257 00:10:38,216 --> 00:10:41,326 - You ugly, old sleaze-stack! - Sleaze-stack? 258 00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:43,660 Somebody get me a stick so I can drive it through her heart. 259 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,280 Hey, hey, come on! Now, stop! 260 00:10:45,316 --> 00:10:48,156 I can't take all this pressure, alright? 261 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:50,000 Now, y'all chill. 262 00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:52,250 Alright? I got two days before this plane leaves. 263 00:10:52,283 --> 00:10:54,133 I got till then to make up my mind. 264 00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:56,276 That's right. Let's leave the boy alone. 265 00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:58,176 Hey, the boy's a genius. He needs his time. 266 00:10:58,216 --> 00:10:59,276 - I'll wait. - Alright? 267 00:10:59,316 --> 00:11:01,216 (Pops) People crazy around here. 268 00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:07,103 Mm-mm-mm. 269 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,503 Look at here, Marlon. 270 00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,150 A $100 bill I found on the floor. 271 00:11:11,183 --> 00:11:13,373 You must've dropped it when you came in. 272 00:11:18,316 --> 00:11:20,216 Hey, thank you. Thank you, pop. 273 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,830 Hey, you got somethin' in your eye. 274 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,333 I see what this is. 275 00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:27,830 Hmm. Oh, yeah. 276 00:11:27,116 --> 00:11:28,276 And you better watch out. 277 00:11:28,316 --> 00:11:30,826 'Cause three of us can play that game. 278 00:11:30,116 --> 00:11:31,326 Oh, it's on, now! 279 00:11:31,366 --> 00:11:34,166 You know, I could make up my mind a lot faster 280 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,100 if I had a...nice, brand new watch. 281 00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:40,383 You know, I'm always willin' to help a brother out. 282 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,320 I can't seem to find my credit card. 283 00:11:43,350 --> 00:11:45,230 You know what? 284 00:11:45,266 --> 00:11:49,216 Now, mine was gold. Thank you. I'll take these too. 285 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,500 You know, I sure wish I had a nice pair 286 00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:53,130 of patent leather shoes. 287 00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:01,120 Not those. 288 00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:04,330 Like you stole those from the Commodores. 289 00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:05,380 ♪ Hello ♪ 290 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,280 ♪ Is it these you're lookin' for? ♪♪ 291 00:12:08,316 --> 00:12:10,326 [instrumental music] 292 00:12:11,383 --> 00:12:13,353 Marlon! My little brother! 293 00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:15,223 Just in time. 294 00:12:18,383 --> 00:12:20,253 What's with the Shaka-Zulu chair. What's.. 295 00:12:20,283 --> 00:12:23,833 Well, my little warrior, I figured since you've been 296 00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:26,366 workin' so hard lately, it's time for you to relax, man. 297 00:12:28,166 --> 00:12:31,826 This ain't got nothin' to do with 'em tickets, now, would it? 298 00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:33,226 Tickets? What tickets? 299 00:12:33,266 --> 00:12:35,296 Oh, you mean those tickets, man? 300 00:12:35,333 --> 00:12:38,173 Psst, I forgot all about 'em tickets. 301 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,270 Son, I thought you might wanna look at the television 302 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:42,270 while you're workin', knowin' how you like 303 00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:45,120 "Josie and the Pussycats." 304 00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:48,330 Ah! You know, the one with the tambourine got a fat booty. 305 00:12:48,366 --> 00:12:50,246 Yeah, look at the tail on Josie. 306 00:12:50,283 --> 00:12:53,123 See, you can't draw a better booty than that. 307 00:12:53,150 --> 00:12:55,330 - Thanks, pop. - No sweat. 308 00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:59,266 The father and son bond is the strongest bond there is. 309 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,330 After all, I'm the one that taught you how to ride a bike. 310 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,266 You didn't teach him how to ride no bike. 311 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:08,830 - The mailman did. - The mailman? 312 00:13:08,116 --> 00:13:10,246 Well, I'm the one who taught him how to throw a knuckleball. 313 00:13:10,283 --> 00:13:14,163 No, you didn't. The mailman taught me that too. 314 00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:17,160 What the hell was the mailman doin' at my house? 315 00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,350 We have a post office box. 316 00:13:18,383 --> 00:13:20,373 Oh, my Lord! 317 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,160 Look at these two barracudas trying to play my grandson. 318 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,300 He knows better than that. 319 00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:29,253 Here you go, baby. Now tell grandma where it hurt. 320 00:13:29,283 --> 00:13:30,333 - Umm.. - Hurt over here? 321 00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:32,146 - Right there, granny. - Okay. 322 00:13:32,183 --> 00:13:34,153 Oh-oh, God! 323 00:13:34,183 --> 00:13:37,333 Ah, that feels so good, grandma. 324 00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:39,196 Ah! 325 00:13:39,233 --> 00:13:41,333 [instrumental music] 326 00:13:41,366 --> 00:13:42,366 Aw, ow-oh. 327 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,230 Take the shoes off, first. 328 00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:49,280 Get the bunion, Shawn. Get the bunion. 329 00:13:49,316 --> 00:13:52,246 [instrumental music] 330 00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:12,003 [music continues] 331 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:32,663 [music continues] 332 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:52,200 [music continues] 333 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:02,126 [music continues] 334 00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:22,153 [music continues] 335 00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:39,100 [music continues] 336 00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:07,163 [music continues] 337 00:16:19,283 --> 00:16:22,123 [screaming] 338 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,830 [screaming] 339 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,233 [screaming continues] 340 00:16:45,266 --> 00:16:47,996 [both screaming] 341 00:16:49,266 --> 00:16:51,146 [panting] Dee? 342 00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:52,223 Dee, is that you? 343 00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,200 Marlon? 344 00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:58,123 Girl...I thought you was that little man with the whip. 345 00:16:59,383 --> 00:17:02,353 You had that dream too? 346 00:17:02,383 --> 00:17:04,373 Hell, no, you freak! 347 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,300 Oh, what are you doing here? 348 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:09,383 Girl, my family is drivin' me up a wall. 349 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,830 Man! 350 00:17:11,116 --> 00:17:12,266 You know, uh, at first it was cool. 351 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,200 You know, gettin' all these gifts 352 00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,283 and all this attention. 353 00:17:15,316 --> 00:17:16,376 Well, I don't envy you 354 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,280 'cause whoever you pick 355 00:17:18,316 --> 00:17:20,266 the others are gonna end up hatin' you. 356 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:22,200 Well, if you were me 357 00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:23,373 I mean, of course, you couldn't have all that, but.. 358 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,160 Yeah. 359 00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:27,350 ...who would you pick? 360 00:17:27,383 --> 00:17:31,333 I don't know. It's a tough decision. 361 00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:32,170 It's between.. 362 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,500 ...Wesley or Denzel. 363 00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:36,660 Ah! Ha ha ha. 364 00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,330 Come on, Dee. Be serious. 365 00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:40,326 You know, Wesley and Denzel ain't takin' you nowhere. 366 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,120 No. I'm only jokin'. 367 00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:45,330 I don't know, I just thought by gettin' these tickets 368 00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,250 you know, it was gonna be great for my family. 369 00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,333 Instead it's tearin' us all apart. 370 00:17:49,366 --> 00:17:50,996 - Hmm. - Gosh. 371 00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:54,320 Same thing happened with my Uncle Cephas. 372 00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:57,280 Mm-hmm, yeah, you know. 373 00:17:57,316 --> 00:18:01,116 He won the lotto. Using all our birthdays for the numbers. 374 00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:02,330 - Rah-rah-rah. - Yeah. 375 00:18:02,366 --> 00:18:05,376 So, everybody thought they had a claim. 376 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,160 Honey, the thought of gettin' all that money 377 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:11,500 turned us into animals. 378 00:18:11,830 --> 00:18:12,230 That $58 379 00:18:12,266 --> 00:18:14,326 tore our family apart. 380 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,230 - Fifty-eight dollars? - Yeah. 381 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:22,296 Negro, your family split up for $58? 382 00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:24,223 Yeah, now, now, that's the point. 383 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:26,130 Don't let it happen to your family. 384 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:30,126 You know, 'cause that vacation is for one week.. 385 00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:32,326 ...but your family is forever. 386 00:18:32,366 --> 00:18:34,496 Mm-hmm. 387 00:18:34,830 --> 00:18:35,270 Fifty-eight dollars, Dee? 388 00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:37,170 - Oh, don't let me tell you-- - I understand if it was sixty. 389 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,830 Now, baby, don't let me tell you. 390 00:18:39,116 --> 00:18:42,326 Shawn, tell that old man to stop breathin'. 391 00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:44,220 He's gettin' on my nerves. 392 00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:47,830 Shawn, would you please tell that old blood sucker 393 00:18:47,116 --> 00:18:49,166 the sun is comin' out? 394 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,280 Grandma.. 395 00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:53,156 ...will you explain to polyester king 396 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,250 that I'm not talkin' to him 397 00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:57,203 so I can't tell you what he just told me? 398 00:18:57,233 --> 00:18:59,163 Marlon, where have you been? 399 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:00,230 - Kid, we was worried about you. - Alright. 400 00:19:00,266 --> 00:19:02,146 - Is everything alright, son? - Yeah, pop, I'm fine. 401 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,223 He's probably just tryin' to get away from you. 402 00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:06,830 Get away from me? 403 00:19:06,116 --> 00:19:07,996 We're about to spend a whole weekend at the Bahamas together. 404 00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:09,320 Come on, kid, we leave tomorrow. Let's get outta here. 405 00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:12,160 - Look, who you gonna choose? - Hey, would y'all just stop? 406 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,320 Damn, chill. 407 00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:15,150 Look at y'all. 408 00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:17,253 These tickets got y'all fightin' and acting crazy. 409 00:19:17,283 --> 00:19:19,353 It got you arguin'. 410 00:19:19,383 --> 00:19:22,283 Turn father against son. 411 00:19:22,316 --> 00:19:24,996 Grandson against grandmother. 412 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,280 - Man against beast. - Hey, hey, hey. 413 00:19:29,316 --> 00:19:31,096 Hey, stop, stop. Come on, grandma, see? 414 00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:34,163 You see? That's exactly what I mean. 415 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:35,300 Look at y'all. 416 00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,333 Nothing's worth all this fightin' 417 00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:38,266 and backstabbin' and misery, man. 418 00:19:40,830 --> 00:19:43,830 'Think about it. We family, y'all.' 419 00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:44,146 And to be real with y'all, none of us 420 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,173 deserve these damn tickets. 421 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,100 Not even myself. 422 00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:51,253 'Cause the whole time y'all fightin' and kissin' up to me.. 423 00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:54,373 ...I'm busy lettin' y'all do it. 424 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,130 Just as greedy as any of y'all. 425 00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:01,230 Marlon's right. 426 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:04,196 We've been behavin' like the Jacksons. 427 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,830 You're damn right, Tito. 428 00:20:11,283 --> 00:20:14,283 Baby, we're sorry. We're not acting like ourselves. 429 00:20:14,316 --> 00:20:17,316 I hope you can forgive me. All of us. 430 00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:20,500 It's okay, La Toya. 431 00:20:20,830 --> 00:20:21,120 I don't know what y'all talkin' about. 432 00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:22,320 I meant everything I said. 433 00:20:22,350 --> 00:20:24,370 Come on, son, we can get to the airport if we hurry. 434 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,660 (together) Joe! 435 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,280 Don't make me take off my belt. 436 00:20:32,350 --> 00:20:35,280 Okay. Okay. 437 00:20:35,316 --> 00:20:37,656 I was wrong. 438 00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:40,000 Mm, that's good. 439 00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:41,120 And you know what? 440 00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:43,270 I still got that 100 bucks pop gave us. 441 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,250 Check it out. Why don't we go get some dinner, huh? 442 00:20:45,283 --> 00:20:46,333 A hundred dollars? 443 00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:48,116 So we went from flyin' to the Bahamas 444 00:20:48,150 --> 00:20:50,350 to runnin' for the border? 445 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:52,323 What you do with those tickets anyway? 446 00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:55,160 Told you, I gave 'em to the person I thought 447 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,270 deserved them the most. 448 00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:59,500 - Dee. - Dee! 449 00:20:59,830 --> 00:21:01,280 - Listen , Marlon, hey. - She's not even in the family. 450 00:21:01,316 --> 00:21:03,296 Yo, how could you do that to us? 451 00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:05,173 Dee? 452 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,330 I wonder who Dee's takin'. 453 00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:09,280 [instrumental music] 454 00:21:11,283 --> 00:21:14,663 - Where are you goin'? - Hey! 455 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:17,330 Get that old bat before she fly away. 456 00:21:17,366 --> 00:21:19,826 She flew away. 457 00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:22,346 So who you're gonna choose, Dee? 458 00:21:22,383 --> 00:21:24,273 Who ever deserves it. 459 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,270 So keep rubbin'. 460 00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:27,370 - Shawn. - 'Huh?' 461 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,120 Pop my toes. 462 00:21:30,150 --> 00:21:33,000 Ow. Ha ha ha. 463 00:21:35,383 --> 00:21:37,203 [instrumental music] 464 00:21:53,383 --> 00:21:55,373 [music continues] 465 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,826 (Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese." 32939

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