All language subtitles for The.Wayans.Bros.S02E20_English

[instrumental music]

Alright, y'all. Yo, yo, yo!

Here he comes, here he comes,
here he comes. Hide.

- 'Hide.'
- 'Okay.'

Come on, everybody. Come on,
listen. Come on, everybody
hide.

If pop sees more
than three
customers

he's gonna know
something's up. Come
on.

Hey, what sorta dumbass
hiding place is that?

Get your.. Come on.

Get your ass behind that thing.

And what're you doin', stupid?

Well, boys, I did it. Signed
my new lease on the diner.

Ah, well, pop.

I guess we only have one
thing to say about that.

(all)
Surprise!

[cheering]

[Pops gasping]

Hey, hey, pop?

Pop? What? Yo, pop.

Come on, say somethin'.

- Pop.
- Say something, pop.

[gasping]
Surprise!

[laughing]

[theme music]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪

(male narrator)
Alright, cut and print.

Beautiful, guys.

'Dynamite. Dy-uh.'

♪ Girl what you got
goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something.. ♪♪

[instrumental music]

(male #1)
'Well, I would like to, uh'

propose a toast to Pops,
my favorite tenant.

- And a good friend.
- Alright, Pops!

He-he.

[applause]

Thank you, Jim.
That means a
lot.

Of course, a month of free
rent
would mean a whole lot more.

[laughing]

Free rent, that is a laugh.

You know, Trish,
Pops and I, we goway

Yeah.

These boys were
like
my little pet pups

when I started the diner.

And look how they've grown.

[Trish chuckles]

It's easy to see
where they get their good
looks.

See, now...he's a chip
off the old block.

Hey, what about me?

You take after
your mother's side

of the family, son.

You know, Pops, your kids

they remind me
of us at their age.

Two young men with their whole
lives in front of 'em

strugglin' to make
it on their own.

I believe Shawn
has an
anniversary

of his own, next week.

Isn't that when
your lease is
up?

- Yeah, how did you know?
- Oh.

I keep my eye on
everything
in this building.

I tell you, Jim, you helped me
to become the successful man

of distinction
that I am today.

[chuckles]
Oh, look here. Damn.

I'm outta Thunderbird.

[Pops laughs]

Jim loves giving advice.

I know.

Why don't you two
guys come up for dinner

tomorrow night to the penthouse?

Hey, that's a great idea.

And we can scrap on
the old feedbag

and map out your road to riches.

Hey, if it's free,
it's alright with me.

[Jim laughs]

Oh, this will be so much fun.

An intimate little
dinner.
Just the four of us.

[chuckles]
Yeah, u-um, that sounds great,
but, um, me and Marlon ain't

gonna be able to go coz we're
gonna be busy tomorrow night.

No, we're not.

- Ow!
- Yes, we are..

Remember we have that big thing?

I don't have no big thing.

Oh, well, I do, but..

[clears throat]

...I ain't got no plans though.

Shawn...I won't
take
no for an answer.

That's my Trish.
She always gets what she wants.

Yes, I do.

So, see you tomorrow
night around eightish?

Cool-ish. Ha.

We better go, Jim,
we'll be late for Pavarotti.

Oh, yeah. You guys get goin'.

Those noodles stick
together when they get
cold.

[laughs]
There he goes
again.

- Congratulations, Pops.
- Thank you.

I'll see you tomorrow night.

(Jim)
'Geoffrey!
Bring the car around front!'

[instrumental music]

Come on, Marlon, help me
with some of this stuff, man.

Oh, pish tosh.

You know, now that I'm having
dinner with millionaires

I'm...above that, uh..

[clears throat]
...menial labor.

Boy, you gonna wind up
on the unemployment line.

Then again, I could use
that four and a quarter

for tips and thing.

You know, G, I don't think
I'm goin' to this party
tonight.

Why not? Hey, look,
kid.
It's a free meal.

All we got at home
is Captain Crunch and hot
sauce.

I don't care. I don't feel
comfortable about goin'.

Look, Shawn. I know you're
not as classy as me, okay?

But just remember,
small fork is for the
salad

keep your pinky up and if
you
got somethin' in your nose

don't pick until they're
sayin'
grace. See. Watch here. Amen.

I'm not talkin'
about that...pig.

I'm talkin' about
Ms. Neidermeyer.

- What about her?
- You seen her, man.

She was all over me.
That lady's a freak.

Oh, come on, man.
You trippin'. Let's be
real.

What would a lady
with millions of dollars

want with a broke
behind paperboy like you?

I have no idea.

All I know if she
got
any closer to me

she'd be chewing my gum.

That is so conceited. You
think
everybody comin' on to you.

No, I don't.

Okay, what about
that lady
yesterday?

- Oh, well, hey, you know--
- Mm-hmm.

- She wouldn't leave me alone.
- Mm-hmm.

You gave her back
the wrong change.

Don't you see through that, man?

See, her mouth was sayin',
"I gave you a 20."

But her eyes was sayin',
"Break me off, sonny."

Here you go, boys.

- Thank you kindly.
- Uh, thank you, father.

You boys ready
for your big dinner

at the Neidermeyers' tonight?

Uh, pop, I don't,
I don't think I'mma go.

What you mean you're not goin'?
Of course you goin'.

Not only is this a good
business opportunity

but the man has been a friend
of the family for years.

I won't have you offending him.

Pop, he'll be even more offended

if he catches me
knockin' boots with his
wife.

Son. What have you done?

I ain't done nothing.

Yet.

Pops, it's her, man.
It's all her.

She can't keep
her hands off me.

But that's just her way, I mean

she's a touchy feely type.

She keeps pattin' me on my butt.

Well, I'm sure
it was a friendly pat.

Basketball players
do it all the time.

Shoot, Dennis Rodman
grabbed a handful.

That don't stop him from having
dinner with the team. He he he.

Hope he washed his hands first.

So you really think
it's my imagination,
pop?

Trust me. I know Trish.
She does it with everybody.

Well, she didn't do it to me.

You don't have enough to grab.

(Marlon)
'Whoo-wee! Ms. Neidermeyer.'

Ion.

Well, I'm glad you liked
the beef bourguignon.

Is that what that was?

And here I thought
it was some Denimore

with a shot of Night Train.

I gotta tell you, Trish, you..

...you really outdid
yourself with that
meal.

Oh, honey, I can't take
credit.
Helga did the cooking.

You see? Look at that. That
woman ain't interested in you.

She got everything
a woman wants.

Man with money,
good looks, and power.

Shoot, he lookin'
kinda good to me.

True, true.
You right, you
right.

As I always say
nothing caps off

a fine meal better,
than a fine cigar.

And as it happens, I have some

wonderful Cubans
in the next room.

Oh, well, tell 'em
to bring in some cigars.

Mira! Eh, dame!
Dame un cigarro!

- Por favor!
- Un cigarro.

Wouldn't you swear it was Cuban?

Hey, I didn't know
you guys were into African
art.

Oh, yes.

I love all things African.

It touches
something...
deep inside me.

Hey, Marlon.

This looks like
your old girlfriend, Nadine.

Marlon, could you
get me some shoes?

My feet hurt.

Man, you crazy?

Nadine's mustache was

much thicker than that.

Here we go, gentlemen.

From Castro's
private
collection.

You mean, you broke
in that man's house

and all you took
was some cigars?

- Shawn?
- Hey, no thanks. I don't
smoke.

I like white teeth.

Ah, smart man.

It's a nasty, expensive habit.

Expensive and nasty? I'm in.

[Jim chuckles]

Thanks.

The thing...
that I really like about

smoking cigars...is the ritual.

[sniffs]
Mmm.

Delightfully robust.

[sniffs]

[coughs]

This ain't nothin'
but a big old Newport.

[gurgling]

[Marlon coughs]

- Real smooth, Marlon.
- Thank you.

Tell me. Do you guys
like to hunt?

Hey, well, you know,
I don't wanna brag or nothin'

but I am pretty good
with a can of Raid.

[laughs]
I got an idea.

Why don't we go
into my game room

and we can see
my gun collection.

Word?

Ey, you think
you can hook a brother up

without that ten day
waiting period?

- I got cash.
- Ah-ha.

Wim-bum-pa.

[both laughing]

Shawn, you spilled
a little wine on your jacket.

You boys run ahead,
Shawn'll join you in a minute.

I better dab this out
before it gets set.

Ey, you ever do
a drive-by in your limousine?

Drop down, fool! Drop down!

Drop down, fool! Plant yourself!

Oh, wow.

Yo-ho! Pfft!

What's up?

Oh, you tell me.

Y-yo, hey, look. Ms.
Neidermeyer...I can't do
this.

You can't?

I mean I can..

...and I'm real good at
it...
but I won't.

Don't try to fight it, Shawn.
Take me. Here.

Take me, now.

With your husband just a few

feet away in a room
full of guns?

Oh, yes! Isn't danger exciting?

No, hell, no. Hey.

Yo, look, Ms. Neidermeyer.

You are a very attractive
young
lady and on any other

normal circumstances,
you would get the rug burn.

But...but it just ain't right.

Not only are you married,
but you're married

to a friend of my father's.

You have muscles and morals?

How do you expect me to resist?

Stop, Ms. Neidermeyer. Look.
Look, Ms. Neidermeyer.

I don't mix business
with pleasure, okay?

Now your husband holds
the lease to my newsstand.

Oh.
I hold your
lease.

Hey, that's not my lease.

Jimbo signed over the
building
to me when we got married.

Now what would make him
do something like that?

Well, that's what
I'm trying to give
you

a chance to find out.

Look, Ms. Neidermeyer.

[Shawn squealing]

Stop it.

Now, Ms. Neidermeyer.
No means no!

Alright, fine.
Here's the bottom line.

My husband will be out
of town tomorrow night.

I expect you here by 8.

That is, if you want to,
uh...
stay in business.

Man.

Y'all should see all the stuff
he killed up in there.

Ass all up on the walls.

[Jim laughing]

I do like to shoot things.

- Bang!
- Oh, you got me..

So...who's up for desert?

[instrumental music]

Damn man.

(Marlon)
'Ow!'

What's wrong with you?

Yo, kid, it's 3 o'clock in
the morning. What're you
doin'?

You know, gee,
I'm in big trouble, Marl.

If I don't sleep with Ms.
Neidermeyer I'mma lose my lease.

Oh, here we go again.

[Marlon groans]

Yo, kid, this ain't in my mind.

That lady had
her hand in my
pocket

and she wasn't
lookin' for
change.

Word?

How come that never
happens to me?

Marlon, you don't get
it,
I put everything

I ever had into this newsstand.

If I lose it,
I'mma be out on the
street.

So sorry.

And so are you.

Look here, brother,
you better go in that room

slap on some high karate..

...and go down there
and handle your business.

Don't you get it, Marlon?
This is blackmail.

Black male,
white woman, who cares?

Erase those
color
lines, brother.

You crazy.
I'm a legitimate businessman.

I sleep with nobody
to keep my job.

Shawn, isn't
saving
your newsstand

worth 15 seconds of your life?

Ha ha ha. You think it's that
easy? It ain't that easy.

Once she get a shot
of this, that's it.

She gonna be hooked
on phonics, bro.

She gonna be
blowin' up my pager..

...showin' up at my job.

Tellin' you, kid,
she gonna be fiendin'.

Yeah, you're right.

You stay here.
I'll go knock them boots.

Alright, you forgettin'
about them guns.

Your behind'll be
up on that wall

between the zebra
and that moose. Like this.

You on your own, bro.

Well, maybe I could go over
there and change her mind.

- Talk her out of it.
- No, I don't think so,
kid.

Hey, why don't we just call
pop?
Pop will know what to do.

No, no, no. I don't need pop
in the middle of my problems.

- Why not?
- Because I'm a grown man.

And I don't want
anybody to know.

I don't want pop to know,
nobody to know, you got
that?

Come on, bro.
You're talkin' to me.

[instrumental music]

What's up, son?

Uh, nothing, noth..

Nothing at all, pop.
Just-just,
you know, sweepin' the floor.

So, where's your brother?

Would you get
off my back, old
man?

Quit buggin' me about Shawn.

It's not like he's upstairs
sleepin' with Ms.
Neidermeyer

just so he'd keep the
lease
on his newsstand.

Shawn's upstairs sleeping
with Ms. Neidermeyer?

Oh, you mean you knew already.

Whoo! Thank God, pop.

I don't know how much longer I
could have kept that to myself.

So, Shawn was right.

Trish really wanted him
to dunk his donut.

Wait a second.

Now, wouldn't she
be the doughnut?

No, no, no, son. See.
She would be the cup.

- Mm-hmm.
- And then that would make
him..

Oh, don't be takin'
me into your world.

Shawn is in big trouble.

Well, I tried to warn him,
pop.
He wouldn't listen to me.

And he's your favorite son. Ha!

He's gonna be my dead son
if Mr. Neidermeyer find out.

- That man is insanely
jealous.
- Ey--

Have you seen
his gun collection?

Pop, pop,
don't worry abut it,
pop.

Mr. Neidermeyer's outta
town
till tomorrow mornin'.

Shawn's in the clear.

- 'Pop.'
- Hey, Pops, Marlon.

- Hey, Mr. Neidermeyer.
- Hey.

(both)
Mr. Neidermeyer?

What-what are you doin' here?

Well, I do own
the building,
right?

- How about a cup of coffee?
- Oh, M-Mr. Neidermeyer..

I-I tho-thought you was away on
a business trip. What happened?

Well, my flight got cancelled

so I decided to come home
and surprise the missus.

Why would you want to do that?
Women hate surprises.

Why don't you call upstairs and
tell her that you're coming up.

I called her from the
limousine.
Phone was off the hook.

She always does that
when she's in bed.

Hey, hey, hey,
just because the
phone's

off the hook
doesn't mean she's in
bed.

I mean, she could be in
plenty
of places like the bathtub

or the kitchen
table
or the...floor.

Why would she be on the floor?

I don't know. It's your wife.

Uh, Marlon, why don't you take

Mr. Neidermeyer's bag upstairs.

[Pops chuckles]

While-while
he finishes his coffee?

- Good idea, pop.
- Thanks just the same.

But the elevator
does not go to the penthouse

without the security code.

Oh, well. What is
it?
Lay it on me.

[Jim laughs]

Marlon, a security code
means nobody knows it.

You understand?

I mean the only way
a burglar could get in

would be by climbing down
the side of the building.

[laughing]

- Down the side of the
building.
- Yes.

Like Spiderman, huh?
Like, pssh.

[laughing]

Would you excuse me
for a moment,
please?

[instrumental music]

Hey, I didn't know
you guys like Shabba Ranks.

Shabba!

You know, Ms. Neidermeyer

I'm really glad you startin'
to see things my way.

(Trish)
'Well, Shawn,
you're very persuasive.'

'And it's Trish.'

[chuckles]
Okay, Trish.

If you'd just
come on out here and sign

that leasey-weasy,
I'll be on my way.

- 'Comin' right out.'
- Alright, girl.

Here's the lease.

Come and get it.

Trish. I thought
you understood how I feel.

Oh, I do.

Now it's time for you
to understand how I feel.

Look, I'm only gonna
say this one more time.

We cannot do this!

Oh, okay. I'm gonna say it two
more times and that's it.

That's more like it.
How you doin', Shawn?

It's hard to tell.
All the blood just left my
head.

Mmm...I wonder where it went.

Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
That tickles.

[Marlon screaming]

Did you hear a scream?

Ah, you haven't
begun
to hear screams.

(Shawn)
'Oh, that tickles,
that tickles.'

Hey, did you hear a thump?

Oh, that's my heart. Feel it.

Marlon!

If he wanted to watch,
why didn't he just ask?

Hey, girl, you are a freak.

What're you doing here?

[Marlon panting]

I come to warn you.Damn.

Marlon, what is it?

Oh, uh, it's Mr. Neidermeyer.

His flight
was cancelled and
he's...here.

Quick. Hide before he kills you.

[Marlon screams]

Hi, hon, I'm home.

Jimbo! What a surprise.

Well, my flight was cancelled

so, uh, I decided
to get right home.

What have you
been up to all day?

Oh, just...tryin' to get busy.

I mean, keep busy.

[laughs]
Come here.
Give Jimbo a big kiss.

- Oh.
- Mmm.

Uh, honey, why don't--

- Choo.
- You go and, uh.

Get into something
more comfortable?

When you come back we can open
up a bottle of champagne.

[chuckles]
I like the sound of that.

Get out!

Well, uh..

I don't think
I wanna leave after
all.

Shawn, are you crazy?

I guess not.

Look. Me and Trish have some
unfinished business to handle.

Look, Shawn. This is no time
to be gettin' your freak on.

- He's right, go.
- No.

- Not till you sign the
lease.
- We could do that later.

No, we could do it right
now,
or I wait right here

till old Jimbo comes back

and I'll let him know
what I'm really doin' here.

Okay, fine. You win.

Hey, that's one hell
of a file cabinet you got
there.

Thank you kindly. It was nice
doing business with you.

Hey, girl. Call me.

I'll cure you
of that jungle fever.

[Marlon screams]

[Jim laughs]

[Jim laughs]

Okay, my little angel. Why
don't
we raise a little hell?

[laughs]
Come here, hot stuff.

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

Well, boys, I'm proud of you.

You got your lease
and your self-respect.

If you ask me
self-respect is overrated.

Man, you should've seen her and
Mr. Neidermeyer knockin' boots.

- Oh, man..
- Ooh..

Shame on you boys.

I didn't raise you
to peek in windows.

Hey, we were just
climbin' the
ladder.

We couldn't help but see it.

Y'all go on home
and forget what you saw.

It just ain't right.

- Alright. Goodnight, pop.
- Alright, man.

Leave the ladder.
I'll take care of it.

[instrumental music]

(male narrator)
That's about it now.

(Shawn)
'Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.'